The Beestonian Issue 48 by The Beestonian

The

Beestonian Five Years, What A Surprise

Issue no.

r e a f i e v e W W ow: somehow, against all odds and expectations, we have made it to our fifth birthday. That’s five years since the first edition of The Beestonian, printed on four pages of strangely-hued paper, hit the streets. We had no clue what we were doing, but that should never get in the way of a good idea. We only knew we wanted to celebrate the excellence of living in a bizarre, vibrant town; in a format perfect for reading while sitting with a coffee or a pint.

Since those inauspicious beginnings, we’ve gone on to expand four fold into 16 pages, bring on proper designers, publish the finest local writers, interview and feature the best local (and not so local) talent, run a successful independent film club that still occasionally springs to life, produce a documentary film about the town in the flux of the tram-works, partner with Oxjam to help make it the most successful such festival in the UK, hold meetings on development and other issues, run charity events and appeals and much, much more. It’s flown by.

Since then we’ve had a Tesco appear, the tram-works cleaved the town apart and then become part of it, the Square torn down and (sort of) rebuilt, BID flourish and die, pubs actually get much better, restaurants and other local businesses spring up like never before, blue plaques stuck to walls all over the town, an international film festival set up shop and Beeston staking a claim as the cultural, creative cousin of our nearby big city. So at our half-decade, we’re stopping to take stock of what we’ve done. You can read about that inside. But Beeston is more about the future, keeping pace with the changes that are inevitable in a vibrant, exciting town. Inside, you’ll find just that. We have no idea what will occur in the next five years. There are the risks of a crap development in the Square Phase 2’ further draining of interest and funds from the Council, not to mention the bully-boys of the fracking industry coming to town. Yet the hope outweighs this. Never before has the town had such a sense of community, of pride, of standing up to determine our own destiny. We are proud to be some small part of that, and promise to reflect that and work hard over the next 5 years to keep Beeston special. Viva Beestonia! LB

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hanges to the places where people live are inevitable. Sometimes change is a slow evolution and is hardly noticed. At other times, as with the trams, the change is sudden and dramatic and has a huge impact.

There are those who will remember the building of the shops of the Square in the 1960’s, the Bus Station and Multistorey Car Park. This development took away the ancient centre of the old village, which was once around the crossroads of Middle Street, Dovecote Lane and Church Street, close to the Manor House. It was here that the medieval cross once stood, probably where the War Memorial now stands. Although there are no written records, it is likely that the cross was the focus for a busy and thriving market. The cross was taken down in 1860 and its stones used in a nearby wall. Here it remained until 1926 and its chance discovery by local historian and headmaster, Arthur Cossons. Cossons had the fractured stump of the 14th century cross shaft re- erected close to his beloved school on Church Street, where it still stands, now marked with a ‘Blue Plaque’. Beeston as we know it largely owes its existence to the development of a Saxon village close to the Trent and Derby Road. This village was surrounded by pasture and grazing land from which it takes its name (Bes – rye grass and tun – settlement or farmstead). The origin of this ancient name is still preserved in the name Beeston Ryelands, to the south of the town. At the time of the Norman Conquest of 1066, the then village had three Saxon Manors belonging to Alfag, Alwine and Ulchel. By 1086 these had passed to the Lordship of William Peverel. Although there is no mention of a church in Beeston at the time of the Domesday (1086) it is likely that one existed. When Peverel endowed his Priory at Lenton he gave the ‘living of the church’ and the right to appoint a vicar to the monks. Probably under their influence, the simple wattle and daub structure evolved into a substantial stone building on the site of the present church. For the next 400 years not only the Church but the whole of Beeston and its villagers

came under the control of the powerful Lenton Priory. By the year 1538, the year of the Priory’s Dissolution under Henry VIII, the medieval building had reached its height. It was in this year that the plague carried away a third of Beeston’s population of between 300 and 350 souls. Their bodies were interred in a communal grave on the east side of the Churchyard, adjacent to where ‘Wilkos’ store was. This was later to be known as ‘the plague hole’. Approximately where the Wilkinsons store was, were cottages known as ‘The Poor Row’. These simply built homes were given to the poor of the parish where they could live rent free. The cottages were demolished in 1844/45. What became of the Demolition Beeston, August 2013 Photo Credit: Joe Earp.

poor unfortunates whose homes they were is not recorded. Briefly interrupting the story of the area of Beeston directly affected by the Tram extension; Beeston saw one of its greatest changes in the early 19th century. It was at this time with the growth of the weaving industry that Beeston’s status changed from village to town. The first silk mill was built in the ‘new town’ in 1826. In 1831, after suffering various fortunes and a number of owners, the mill had passed into the hands of William Lowe. In Victorian Beeston, the cycle of demolition and rebuilding continued. In 1842 the medieval church was surveyed and, with the exception of the chancel, found to be unsafe. Demolition of the old church was completed by 1843 and re-building around the medieval chancel completed by 1844.

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Despite the increase industrialisation of the town, the illustration of the church at this time shows an idyllic scene, with sheep grazing in the surrounding pasture, something hard to imagine today. Not only do individual fields and closes survive, but their names survive on existing maps betraying a history which stretches back beyond the town’s Saxon roots. One such plot to the east of the church, where the Argos store now stands, was known as Roundhill. Across the Square, around the area now covered by Lloyds/TSB Banks, was Roundhill Gardens. The Round Hill to which the names refer was an ancient Bronze Age Tumulus which occupied the site of the Wollaton Road Methodist Church. It was upon the summit of this grassy knoll that the village stocks were fixed. Stocks were introduced to every village during the reign of Edward III, in 1376 and continued to be used until 1840. They were used for the detention of minor criminals, drunkards and the like, who could be detained for a few hours at the pleasure of the local authority. A little way to the west of the Round Hill, on the site of the old Town Hall, was another village institution, the Pinfold. This was a walled or fenced enclosure which projected a little way into the road. It was used to confine cattle and sheep which had strayed from their fields. The duty of ‘rounding-up’ these strays fell to an official called the pinder, who was elected annually at Easter. When you are next travelling on the Tram through Beeston, consider it as your personal time-machine and think of the history contained within this short journey. JE

Super Kitchen

“T

aking the time to sit down together over a meal helps to create social networks that in turn have profound effects on our physical and mental health, our happiness and wellbeing, and even our sense of purpose in life.”

The above quote is taken from Breaking Bread, a report published by the University of Oxford, which focuses on the results from a National Survey for The Big Lunch. The report features an array of statistics and graphs that work to illustrate the way many of us feel about mealtimes and life in general. The research proves that there is a strong correlation between eating meals with other people and feeling positive about life. The report also highlights the various physical effects that eating together causes in our bodies, for example, eating with others ‘triggers the endorphin system in the brain’ which provides us with positive and healthy eating experience. But what has this got to do with Beeston? A brilliant business called Super Kitchen. The ideas raised in the Breaking Bread report make up part of the driving force behind the community café business, and later on this year, Beeston will be saying hello to our very own Super Kitchen! I met up with Marsha Smith, founder and project director, for a friendly endorphin-inducing chat over coffee, hot chocolate and shortbread, to find out more…

Back in 2010, Marsha set up a small community café in Sneinton where she cooked a soup, a main, and a pudding three times a week. It might not sound like much, but ‘that was actually really popular,’ she tells me, ‘people really appreciate fresh food, and if the food is good then they’re quite happy to not have so many choices. I just made the food I wanted to make and asked people to come and eat it.’ This is where the seed of Super Kitchen began to grow.

‘It dawned on me,’ Marsha continues, ‘that our pubs, working men’s clubs and social spaces have diminished over time.’ This is a sound observation when you consider how times are moving on, and what it means to be social nowadays. Many people are busy, have children, or are on a tight budget when it comes to socialising and organising meals for the family. Marsha goes on to say that she

started getting in contact, saying “We love your model, but how do you do it?” At which point, in April 2014, Super Kitchen was set up formally. ‘What we did was we said, “we’ve got a replicable model, and we’ll give you our model and help you with food hygiene certification, support, guidance, and a link to FareShare food,”’ explains Marsha. Super Kitchen became like an umbrella, or banner, under which various cafes operate under. They pay an annual membership which covers the cost of everything including the food. ‘That’s how Super Kitchen was built.’

eating events. ‘I wanted to at least have a go at trying to use the business model for social good, so I repositioned my business as a charity and applied for funding,’ she says, ‘I then ran a year’s project called Family Café. It was a pay as you feel model that ran on surplus food

Within two years, they have gone from one to over forty Super Kitchens, mainly in Nottinghamshire, but there are also some located in Warwickshire, Derbyshire and Leicester. So, what about our Beeston Super Kitchen? ‘We’ll be setting one up at Middle Street Resource Centre,’ she tells me. ‘There will be a monthly social eating event, and you can expect a two or three course meal for about £2.50. It’s probably going to be vegetarian.’ With that in mind, conversation turned back to the core inspiration behind the business, and what positive effects social eating can have for us as human beings. So if you’re wondering what a social eating event is like, Marsha told me exactly what you can expect…

‘recognised there was a real gap in the market, especially if you don’t want to go to the pub when you’ve got children, or don’t want the cost of going out to a formal restaurant.’ At this point, as the café we sat in was getting ever busier with people meeting up for a chat, I started realise how little thought and consideration I had given to the importance of mealtimes, and eating as a family. Marsha pointed out that hungry children had been turning up to her social

from FareShare.’ FareShare is an organisation that aims to tackle food poverty by saving good food and sending it to charities and community groups like Marsha’s so that it can be turned into delicious and nutritious meals. Working with organisations such as FareShare ensures that the meals are cheaply sourced, which makes them ‘as affordable as possible and economically viable,’ states Marsha. It was at the end of the Family Café project that various groups

‘People should expect a really affordable, sociable meal that’s got loads of love in it and has been cooked by somebody and hasn’t just been pinged in a microwave. It’s just like a family dinner only on a bigger, more social setting.’ “Making time for and joining in communal meals is perhaps the single most important thing we could do – both for our own health and wellbeing and for community cohesion.” – Breaking Bread. Visit the website at: superkitchen.org JM

A Tribute to Comedy’s

unsung heroes W

hen I first started stand-up people would often ask me if it was a hobby. At the time I couldn’t answer them. Now if feel I am more qualified to answer this question. Baking cakes is a hobby, playing golf once a week is a hobby, driving to Glasgow on a wet Wednesday night to perform to eight people at Bobby Wingnuts Cackle Dungeon, isn’t a hobby, it’s probably an illness. Interestingly they never ask me how I do stand-up comedy, which would be a more revealing question. Much is said of the stand-up comedian, but the people behind the scenes often don’t get the credit they deserve. I’m not referring to agents, managers or producers; I’m talking about the unseen victims of comedy, the ones we leave behind to hold the fort and the ones who have to keep our fragile egos buoyant after a terrible gig in Glasgow. The sacrifices these poor men and women make are part of the reason we are able to get up on stage and show off for twenty minutes each weekend. I’m speaking of course about the silent partner in the double act and in my case it’s my wife Jemma. When we met 19 years ago I didn’t do stand-up. We met at university, got married, had our first child and both embarked on proper careers, hers as a teacher and myself as a product designer. We both shared a mutual love for comedy. I knew she was the one for me when we both declared our obsession with Alan Partridge, her knowledge was remarkable, we would forensically analyse it for hours, like two tragic comedy geeks, it was marvellous. I still do it now, reciting bits of comedy, I’m weird like that, but often I’ll be told “not now love, can you take the bins out” things have inevitability moved on. As students would often sneak back home early on nights out, many people assumed this was due to unbridled lust, in reality though it’s

- Scott Bennett

because we fancied some toast and to listen to On the Hour.

probably just wake up to ask him if he had a nice gig and then go back to sleep again.

I came to comedy quite late and although things are going well, it would have been much easier to have done it when I was in my early 20’s and living in my parents’ house, but I had nothing much to say when I was that age and certainly didn’t feel confident enough to know how to say it. Now, being married and having a family life is a sure fire way to create material. An expensive and stressful way perhaps, but it’s effective. Although, failing that, you can probably get away with people watching on the back of the night bus with a notepad; you could probably unearth some comedy gold without all that extra responsibility.

I’m very lucky in that my wife has not given me an ultimatum, which does often happen to some comedians in marriages, but there have been times when the bank of goodwill has been low on credit, especially with the arrival of our second child this February. I have to always remind myself that Jemma didn’t tick the WAC box on the marriage form (wife of a comedian) and I’m dragging her along on this venture, but the support she gives me had been unwavering and I will forever be in debt to her for that. We are getting used to a different lifestyle as a family. We are learning how to make it work. Twice now have all gone up to the fringe together, once staying in a flat and last year spending the month in a static caravan. We could have probably gone to Disneyland for the same price and I was probably one of the only comics whose fringe experience closely resembled that of Alan Partridge, but it was great having them with me.

It’s always unusual getting back home in the early hours of the morning when all the family is in bed and the house is silent. I like my little routine, the bowl of cereal at 2am and back to back couples who kill on the investigation channel; marvellous. I then have to sneak into the bedroom and try to find my way to my side of the bed using only the digits of my radio alarm clock as a rudimentary landing strip. My wife rarely stirs. I hope we never get burgled when I am away, as she would

My six year old daughter has had some very cool fringe experiences; it’s the perk of having a dad who does comedy. When she returned to school after the summer break last year she had to draw a picture of something she did during the holidays. She proudly handed in a picture of her onstage with the Funz and Gamez crew, (her teacher corrected the spelling) she has met Bonzo the dog and Jim the elf, smashed an egg over her dads head and had a brutal staring competition with Phil Ellis; she still talks about it to this day.. I don’t know what the future holds for me in comedy, there are no guarantees. What I do know though is that if I am ever fortunate enough to have some success in comedy, it certainly wouldn’t have been possible without the sacrifices made by my family waiting back at home. Find The Scott Bennett Podcast on SoundCloud and iTunes SB

The

Dancing Dentist

There can’t be that many people who enjoy going to the dentist. I had an appointment with local dentist Jordan Singh, one of the partners of the Beeston Dental Practice on Devonshire Avenue. But fortunately not for a filling or extraction, but to chat with him about his family’s devotion to bhangra dancing. Jordan’s father, uncles and cousins all belong to the Sheerer Punjab Bhangra Dance Troup, which began in 1977 by Jordan’s Uncle Narinder. Last year the group made world headlines by dancing with Prince Charles at the annual International Music Eisteddfod in Llangollen, Wales.

keep it secret from the other dentists and staff, but when they found out they were excited and impressed. And when word got out, our website got 4000 extra hits, as people wanted to know more. My grandfather came to Britain in 1947, so I am the third generation Singh. Singh means lion in Punjabi. The ‘shee’ in Sheerer also means lion. We are a family of lions!” You can sense how strongly Jordan feels about the love and friendship of his family. And how close they all are. He has another uncle who is a pharmacist on Glasshouse Street. He makes the colourful costumes, acts as a stand in dancer and works out the choreography. Most of the Singhs appear to be pharmacists, so naturally I wanted to find out why Jordan chose dentistry for a profession. “Well it meant being at university for another year”, he replied with the typical look of a student who enjoyed being a student and what student life entailed. “Also

The 1980s was a particular heady time for the troupe; as they won at the Welsh talent contest in 1982 and 83, and went on to perform in America, in such places as North Carolina and Texas. Although they came third in last year’s event, in the Traditional Folk Dance Group section, they are now highly thought of by the people who organise the annual talent contest. I asked Jordan why he does it. “Well it’s a great opportunity to keep fit and meet up with family members. For the Eisteddfod we would train on Mondays and Fridays for three months. We just went for fun, so it was great that we did so well. Especially as the group that came second were professionals”. The dance itself originates from the Punjab region of North West India. It’s a celebratory dance for the harvest. Jordan added that another reason for doing it is that it’s a strong part of Sikh culture and history, and it’s important to keep this alive for the future. “It was difficult to

The Beestonian is...

Lead Writer/Founder • Lord Beestonia Co-Founder/Resident Don • Prof J Editor • Christian Design • Dan Business Manager • Mel History Editor • Joe Earp

I asked Jordan if he lived in Beeston. “No, I currently live with my parents in Redhill. It’s a 45 minute commute twice a day. An hour and a half wasted every day”. I pointed out that if he lived in Beeston, his travelling maybe could be only four to five minutes. “True. Beeston’s a great place. And such a good selection of places to eat and drink. I’ve enjoyed the food at such places as the Korea House. I may move here one day”. One subject that Jordan was keen to mention is the fact that he and 8 others of the Singh family will be climbing up Mount Kilimanjaro in January next year. “We are doing it for the ‘When you Wish Upon a Star’ charity. We hope to raise £1500”. For those that don’t know, the Nottingham based charity was set up in 1990 to grant the wishes of children who were suffering with life threatening illnesses. An inspiring thing to do for such a worthwhile cause. 2017 sees the 40th anniversary of the group and I wondered whether they would be all entering the Eisteddfod next year? “Yes, that’s the plan. It’s a bit like a family outing when we all get together. It will be good to get back into it, even though it can be a bit hard on the knees. I keep fit by playing golf and football. I’m looking forward to it. And they really look after you. We were all put up in a dormitory and fed lamb curry.”

the way pharmacists’ work is changing. This is down to the influence of doctors. Whereas being a dentist is more hands on (or hands in), and it’s great to see what difference I can make to a patient’s life. To take away their pain. You also get to know the patients well”. Jordan has only been qualified a year, but clearly enjoys his job and the interaction with his patients.

Top-notch contributors this issue: Matt Turpin, Jimmy Notts, Jade Moore, Scott Bennett, Christopher Frost, Tim Pollard, Ric Salinger, Karen Attwood, Lulu Davenport, Colin Tucker, Mikk Skinner, Joe Earp, John Cooper, Pete Yen and Deman. Printed by Pixels & Graphics, Beeston

Next year’s event takes place between the 4th & 12th of August in Anglesey, and I’m sure all of Beeston would want to wish them luck, and in the words of Jordan’s grandfather; “Work hard, enjoy life”. If anyone wants to sponsor Jordan, he has a Just Giving page. Here’s the web link for it: www.justgiving.com/fundraising/Jordan-Singh1 CDF

Stockists: Rye, The Hop Pole, The Crown, The White Lion, The Star, The Greyhound, Flying Goose, Mish Mash Gallery, The Malt Shovel, The Guitar Spot, Broadgate Laundrette, Bubba Tea, The Bean, Beeston Library, Cafe ROYA, Newsagent on Chilwell Road, Metro, Beeston Marina Bar and Cafe, Attenborough Nature Reserve, Pottle of Blues, Greenhood, Beeston Nursery, Oxfam Books, L’Oliva.

We Shall Overcome

roxtowe Women’s Project [BWP] is a vital support and information service for women and their families who are experiencing or have experienced domestic abuse. Recent changes to BWP’s funding model imperils the essential work it does, which is why we are delighted to support a fundraiser at the White Lion on the 23 September (more info on the event below).

families with whom we work that they have access to local services.” I’m sure we can all agree that this is a shocking state of affairs.

We know that in times of drastic reductions in government funding to local councils, that less money is available to spend on public services, and that cuts disproportionately affect women. As Lisa Clarke, Women’s Officer for Broxtowe Labour, tells me, ‘We are currently witnessing an epidemic of violence against women and girls. Two women a week are murdered at the hands of a current or former partner; and yet as local authorities struggle to cope with cuts to central funding “women’s services” experience real time cuts’. BWP offers support and advice to women

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living in the Nottinghamshire borough of Broxtowe through the delivery of a range of services. This is achieved through a mixture of outreach, one-to-one support, and group support. Examples of support include resilience building, safety planning, and assistance in accessing a range of other essential services such as housing, legal and financial support. BWP has supported thousands of women and children since it was launched in 2001. It plays a crucial role in our community. Sarah Dagley, Business and Fundraising Manager at BWP, informs me: “The greatest risk for BWP is lack of funding in order to maintain current service provision”. Current levels of support are at risk. As the number of women and their families needing support increases, Sarah is also concerned that alterations to funding structures means that BWP will struggle “funding is essential to ensure project development to meet the ever increasing complex needs of our services users. It is also extremely important to the women and their

The fundraising event at the White Lion in Beeston has been organised to raise much needed money for BWP. It aims also to help raise awareness. A BWP representative will be present to give a short talk. Music starts at 7.30 prompt. We are delighted that former Eastwood local, Matt Hill (stage name of Quiet Loner) will return to the area to play us a gig. Matt is the musicianin-residence at the People’s History Museum and will be performing his show ‘Battle for the Ballot’ as part of a national tour. Later in the evening, entertainment is provided by two local bands – Dear Victor and Cherry Hex and the Dream Church. More information can be found on the facebook event page: https://www.facebook. com/events/138898543226313/. If you cannot make the event, but want to donate, you can visit BWP’s webpage at http://home. btconnect.com/bwp/index.htm for more information. This event is part of the ‘We Shall Overcome’ nationwide series of events, all of which are locally organised to support local services helping those affected by austerity cuts. Elsewhere in the Nottingham area, events have been put together supporting homeless support centres and organisations, mental health support groups, and food bank providers. Pete Yen

celebrating five years of

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Beestonian

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he great summer of 2016 has quickly become a flickering memory of a season past, yet there’s still a few surprise sunny days that hurriedly sneak in. However my day out hunting down alternative music at The Charlton arms wasn’t one of them...

The view outside my window looked like the darkest days in Antarctica in full on winter mode. I’ll be honest - it not only made me think twice, but about ten times over, if going out into the abyss would be worth leaving my warm surroundings. As it was, I wrapped up (they are always telling me to do so on the telemabob weather) warmed meh cockles with a wee dram (Scottish for occifer I haz only been on the tea –hic) and headed on the Indigo bus grumpier than a teen at a surprise birthday party.

The Charlton Arms Chilwell has had a bit of a snazzy make over (to the tune of 120k!) in recent years, making the switch to quite sophisticated decor and boasting a wider adult “pop” selection (btw kids, I really don’t mean pop). The large car park proved an ideal meeting place as the day was dedicated to a “scooter bash”; I quickly realized that the term meant a daytime soiree or celebration, rather than a kind of metallic whack a mole type of event. Scoots of all shapes and sizes, original and modified, descended in a sea of shiny gleaming chrome to take part in the planned ride out to the Long Eaton Cenotaph with a detour of Chetwyn army barracks, to pay respects to the armed forces there and to lay a wreath over at Beeston war memorial.

bagged best mod and modette while Andrew Hart took best vespa and John from Billborough stole the best mod scoot on show. Keeping up morale inside, DJ’s Poppa Bear and Cynthia B from Ska2soul treated the audience to some cracking tracks from ska, two tone, reggae and northern soul all lovingly played on vinyl records.

On their return an announcement of the competition winners with the awards presented by legendry film ”This is England” star, George Newton (he played banjo). Daniel and Jade from Sneinton

I hear the event carried on to the small hours with all involved having a fantastic time, raising awareness and paying respects to worthwhile charities to an amazing soundtrack of some

Taking over the stage were The Incredible skank brothers, livening up the crowd with covers of ska classics from Madness and Bad Manners to The specials. The back of the venue held a tombola with all proceeds going to Forces in the community and The British Legion, alongside a merch stall for all trilby, patches, badges and pin needs leaving no excuse to get kitted out.

cracking ska covers from yesteryear but, being the sensible sausage that I am, I was tucked up in bed way before I turned into a pumpkin.

Festival twat-isms...

Yep as I’ve been away many weekends for festival season, my ear holes have heard some right silly corkers from random passerby’s, this little column filler is like Left-lion magazines notts over heard column but Beeston on the move stylee. Girl to partner- ‘I am a vegetarian cause I only eat Organic Chicken’ Bloke to woman - (after barging straight into her) –‘I would say sorry but ya know it’s a festival’ Two guys chatting in Matlock, one points at the stonewall in Pike Hall and says “Isn’t that Hadrien’s Wall?” Thank you random people for making me smile keep ‘em coming! LD

waspton Welcome to

here is a town in England you’ve probably never heard of before* which has a lot of similarities to Beeston. It has the same number of residents, the same average household income, and is on the doorstep of a mediumto-large city, close to a campus university. The town in question is Waspton, and as well as having these things in common with Beeston, also has a lot of differences.

Demography Like Beeston, Waspton has a mixed population of several ethnicities, students, young and old. However there is marked segregation in Waspton, with different groups of people confined to specific areas, with very little in the way of mixing going on. Students living in Waspton aren’t made very welcome, so tend to head into the city to spend their loans. There is a fair bit of racial tension, which is evidenced by graffiti which appears regularly on businesses owned by those from ethnic minorities. Public transport Despite being only 5 miles out of the city, Waspton is poorly served by public transport. A ‘service’ is run by one of the national bus companies, which is notoriously unreliable and stops at 8pm. The railway station only sees a train stop there every couple of hours, and a return ticket to the city is very expensive (over £7 for an off-peak return). This means that most people have to get around by car, leading to a lot of congestion. Even short journeys take a long time in Waspton. Pubs Waspton used to have many more pubs than it does now, just like Beeston. However, many more have closed and remained shut in Waspton. Most of them remain boarded up and are vandalised eyesores. The few pubs that remain are not very welcoming – all owned by big pubcos, lacking in character, charm and choice. Eating out There are a dwindling number of restaurants in Waspton, which are fairly bog standard and unimaginative – a couple of Indians, a Chinese, and an Italian. None of them get top marks for food hygiene, and one of them is known locally as ‘The Gut Gamble’ because of a reputation for causing food poisoning. There are however lots of kebab and fried chicken takeaways in Waspton, which are blamed for a lot of anti-social behaviour and litter. Again, none of them get 5 stars from the inspectors, and are responsible for a lot of poorly digestive systems in Waspton. Shops Just as Beeston does, Waspton has a Lidl, a small Sainsbury and a big Tesco which opened in 2010. The effect of these large retailers in Waspton has been catastrophic for local independents. Within three years of the Tesco opening, Waspton town centre was almost unrecognisable. Now just a mixture of empty units, bookies, payday loan companies, cash

for gold and other pawnbrokers, there is little to draw people in from Waspton itself, let alone the surrounding area. Quite oddly, the one business which seems to still do OK there is one of those places where people put their feet into tanks of fish to have the dead skin nibbled off. Crime Waspton has a fairly high reported crime rate – around twenty times that of Beeston. Noticeable trends over the last few years have been an increase in hate crimes, assaults, muggings and thefts from vehicles. Many people in Waspton do not feel safe in the town centre at night, and the police presence is virtually nil. Schools The schools in Waspton aren’t anything to shout about, with ‘Good’ being the best Ofsted rating for one out of the 7 primary schools, the rest all being rated as ‘Requires Improvement’ or ‘Inadequate’. Of the two secondary schools, one of them is plagued with problems such as bullying, drug-taking, unexplained absences, and regular fights - this just refers to the teachers. Housing Waspton is very similar to Beeston in that the housing stock is predominantly a mix of Victorian, inter-war, and modern builds. What differs markedly is the house prices, which are around 50% higher on average in Waspton. As mentioned earlier, the average household income is the same in the two towns which mean home ownership is out of reach for a huge number of Wasptonians. Rents are correspondingly high too, particularly since a number of private landlords starting buying up large swathes of property several years ago. Famous people Beeston’s most famous son is arguably the fashion designer Paul Smith, followed by the late, great actor Richard Beckinsale. Unfortunately Waspton has only produced a serial killer who murdered five prostitutes in the early 2000s, and Jonathan King’s former chauffer, who was jailed for several offences last year as part of the Operation Yewtree investigation. All in all, Waspton is not a very pleasant place in which to live. There is very little in the way of entertainment, virtually no community spirit, locals are quite insular and mean-spirited, and incomers keep themselves to themselves as a result of the hostility they face. In contrast to Beeston, it is not somewhere that has a forward-looking feel. Inward investment is low, and a feasibility study into the building of a tram system was shelved halfway through due to local council budget cuts. Anyone who lives in Beeston who thinks that it isn’t up to much should spend a day or even just an afternoon in Waspton to see how good we have it just now.

*You’ve never heard of it because it is actually a made-up place comprising a lot of the rubbish features of Britain today.

JC & CT

Bow

Selecta I

Surrounded With no improvement and Sal n keeping with becoming increasingly frail I by friends and this issue’s ‘Fifth rang the emergency on-call family we happily Anniversary’ theme up cancer nurse who told us Sal made our until the very last moment needed to be seen straight promises... away, so we left our friends and my article was about how family at the venue to spend our our wonderful town might wedding night in a shared ward at look and feel in another five the City Hospital’s Specialist Receiving years. It was written before Sally Unit - but I’ve never been so grateful to the (my Maid Marian) and I were married dedicated staff there who saw exactly how on September 10th but now (thanks poorly Sal was and gave her the very best of to the kindness of the editors) I’ve care. I sat by her all night and all of the next day too, still dressed like an escapee from a rewritten it entirely with a single point bad Adam Ant tribute band. to make.

Regular readers may recall that sadly Sal has incurable breast cancer which has already spread to her bones and liver and is still undergoing chemotherapy. In fact she had another treatment just a week before the wedding and was sadly becoming increasingly poorly as the weekend approached, but on the day she looked radiant dressed in a beautiful outfit she’d made herself whilst I was dressed like a Napoleonic Hussar (because… erm… I wanted to and Sal said I could. Seriously, that’s the best and most genuine reason I have). Sal genuinely took my breath away with her grace, beauty and joy when I saw her appear at the top of the stairs, I have genuinely never been happier – but how she made it down them (accompanied by her father Steve, best friend Lou and our two-year old daughter Scarlett) I’ll never know as by the start of the wedding her nausea, constant sickness and tiredness were utterly debilitating and the greatest honour she could ever pay me was (by sheer force of will I’m sure) making it, smiling, through the whole ceremony. Surrounded by friends and family we happily made our promises and exchanged rings with each other as well as presenting one to Scarlett and suddenly… we were married! Heading outside we managed about five minutes of photos before Sal needed first to sit down, then to be ill again and finally needing to alternate lying down and being sick which of course meant missing all of the usual family photos, the meal and (probably thankfully) speeches.

In fact Sal had to spend the next ten days in hospital. Our original plan had been to go on honeymoon but instead Sal was moved to a specialist oncology unit whilst they slowly stopped her constant vomiting, replaced fluids, calcium, potassium and blood and finally discovered the devastating cause of her worsening condition. The cancer has spread again. Into Sal’s brain. I cannot tell you how much that news terrified us. Even writing this it doesn’t seem real, but it is. The same day it was diagnosed Sal began an intensive ten day course of brain radiotherapy whilst still undergoing more chemo. She is utterly wiped, tired beyond all comprehension and I have to say if it wasn’t for our marvellous friends and family rallying round with support, babysitting and transport I’m not sure we’d have coped at all. She’s home now but we’re still making daily trips in for treatment. So here’s my ‘five year’ hope... I hope five years from now Sal will be still going strong, happy and enjoying watching our daughter grow up. And I hope beyond words that all of us here in Beeston still have access to such world-class dedicated, supportive, caring and free at the point of contact NHS facilities on our doorstep, because they really do help us all in our darkest hours of need and Beeston is so, so lucky to have them on our doorstep. Thank you, NHS. And thank you all for your support too, we appreciate it hugely. Tim Pollard Nottingham’s Official Robin Hood

BEESTUMPED SOMETHING A LITTLE DIFFERENT THIS MONTH, PREPARE TO (wait for it) BEESTUMPED!

1. If you have me, you want to share me. If you share me, you haven’t got me. What am I? 2. Take off my skin – I won’t cry, but you will! What am I? 3. If I drink, I die. If I eat, I am fine. What am I? 4. I run distances, often making many turns, yet I never move one foot. What am I? 5. You answer me, although I never ask you questions. What am I? 6. The more it dries, the wetter it gets. What is it? 7. What goes up and down without moving? 8. At night they come without being fetched. By day they are lost without being stolen. What are they 9. The thunder comes before the lightning; the lightning comes before the clouds. The rain dries everything it touches. 10. Never was, am always to be. No one ever saw me, nor ever will. And yet I am the confidence of all, to live and breath on this terrestrial ball. What am I? ANSWERS: Secret/Onion/Fire/Watch/Phone/Towel/Stairs/Stars/Volcano/Future

CODEWORD

Pen and Ink studies of Beeston

by Dan Cullen Full colour limited edition giclée prints are available to buy from Mish Mash gallery on the High Road in Chilwell.

FOOD!

ith the return of GBBO, the nation has thrown down its floury gauntlet and challenged even the most terrible bakers to a flan-off in a marquee. People the length of the UK have been rolling and kneading, burning and sweating, and inventing all sorts of new and interesting swear words this past couple of weeks. It’s like an episode of Last of the Summer Wine but with less casual racism and more sexy grannies.

a cake with mash and gravy in. It’ll give you something to laugh about for years to come. I’m not a cake person. Give me a couple of hours and you’ll have the finest roast you’ve ever tasted, but cakes are not my thing. Given that I can get a perfectly decent, ready made cheesecake for half the price of its actual components I’m happy to support my local, family-run, massive supermarket chain. Honestly, here’s £2 now gimme my cheesecake.

So, I think what I’m trying to say is that I’m terrible at baking but I think people who are good at it are maybe some sort of wizard. Blessed with an almighty glucose-based superpower, they are worth our true respect and admiration. Unlike me, who just suggested putting beef in a banana loaf.. DL

In honour of this bonding experience, I have baked absolutely nothing. I’ve never even seen an episode, having not got a telly which plays actual programmes. I have, however, found awesome new DLC for Fallout 4, so the summer hasn’t been entirely wasted. I’ve got a go-to banana loaf which uses about 4 ingredients (one of which is optimism) so if you’re ever at a loss about what to do with a handful of browning bananas I’m your woman. It’s vegan too, so you can invite your vegan mates round if you have any. If not feel free to chuck some beef in or something, like that episode of Friends where Rachel makes

Cakes are best left to people who really want to bake them. They are a luxury rather than a necessity and so if you have the time and inclination, go nuts. My best mate made me an amazing cake for me hen party. It had a mouth on the front and I’ll leave the rest of it for you to think about. It was amazing and I know I could never reproduce such brilliance without either giving up work or putting my child up for adoption, and I’ve seriously considered both. I see some of the Pinterest wedding cakes doing the rounds and wonder who on earth manages to knock these things out. They are works of art! I couldn’t even DRAW a cake that beautiful.

e all know that Beeston is a cosmopolitan place, but I was surprised to find out how many nationalities are represented among the people living/ working/studying here. The most reliable indicator to date comes from an ever-growing list compiled by the owners of Odin’s Table, the relatively new Scandinavian restaurant/cafe/deli situated where Chambers Pet Shop used to be. As well as folk from all the Nordic lands, customers from nearly 40 other countries have graced this smart eatery.

a wobbly chipboard flat pack bedside table compared to OT’s bespoke hardwood bureau. Packed full of meaty flavour, they are simply delicious. It might sound weird, but I’m actually looking forward to the upcoming chilly months so that I can eat some in the cold. My favourite way to eat them is with gravy in a roll, but they are great with pasta too. Meatballs aren’t all that are on offer though. The menu is constantly evolving and includes cakes and pastries, sandwiches, salads, fish dishes, hot and cold drinks, with vegetarian and vegan options. Well stocked shelving and fridges are full of fresh and intriguing delicacies too. The decor is clean, bright and minimal, you will get a warm and friendly welcome, and everything is very reasonably priced.

All for just

It’s easy to see why the place appeals to people from all four corners of the globe (if that is actually possible – spheres had no corners last time I looked). For example, if you’ve ever been to the food bit in Ikea, you’ll almost surely have tried the meatballs, which are curiously addictive. The Ikea ones however are like

Beeston has never hosted so many places to eat before, with a huge variety of cuisines on offer. Having to make a decision about where to eat is a nice problem to have, but I’m pretty sure that if you try Odin’s Table then you’ll definitely want to go back. JC

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OXJAM 2016:

Get ready for Takeover

One of the biggest highlights of the Beeston calendar is just weeks away.

The Oxjam Beeston Takeover will happen again on Saturday 15 October, with tickets already on sale at Oxfam Books and Music (Beeston High Road) and The Guitar Spot (Chilwell High Road) at an ‘early-bird’ price of £8. You can also get them online from wegottickets.com (80p booking fee). On the day, a limited number of tickets will be available from £10 so get in early to be sure and save a bit of cash! We will also have ‘Takeover’ early-bird tickets for sale at our Saturday morning busking stall. Leading up to the Takeover, the Oxjam Beeston Music Festival has two events: The ‘Oxjam Introducing…’ night at The Beeston Youth and Community Centre (‘West End’) on Friday 16 September, when we’ll have a programme of under-19 artists and bands just £3 on the door.

The ‘Oxjam Ceilidh’ happens on Saturday 24 September at Christ Church Hall - tickets are £10 apiece from Oxfam Books and Music, online at wegottickets.com (£1 booking fee) or from our Saturday stall. Music and ‘calling’ will be provided by the ever-popular Beeston Ceilidh Collective. Oh, and there’s a bar for you thirsty hoofers to slake your thirsts!

17 September - outside Sainsbury’s, by ‘the bell’ - featuring ‘Stringummyjig’ 24 September - The Podium, in The Square - artists from Second Time Around Folk Club 1 October - The Podium in The Square artists to be confirmed 8 October - The Podium in The Square (with Arts and Crafts Market) - artists tbc

The Festival finishes with ‘Classical Oxjam’ at Beeston Parish Church on Saturday 12 November. Tickets already available for £8 (concessions £6) from Oxfam Books and Music, The Guitar Spot, online at wegottickets.com and from our Saturday stall.

For up-to-the-minute information about artists and venues for ‘Takeover’ and ‘buskers’ visit www.oxjambeeston.org

Look out for us at the Heritage Weekend opening on Saturday 10 September, 10 am at Bartons where we’ll be providing some music - we’ll also be at The Boat and Horses later in the day for a folk music session.

16 September - ‘Oxjam Introducing…’ 24 September - ‘Oxjam Ceilidh’ 15 October - ‘Oxjam Takeover’ 12 November - ‘Classical Oxjam’ CT

Saturday mornings, 11am to 1pm: we’ll be busking, selling tickets, collecting your pennies and giving you goodies and info.

RIP CROSSPLAY I

GUEST ARTICLE BY MIKK SKINNER

recently heard the news that Crossplay Music have called it a day. Never recovered from Tram Works’I know it’s only a shop but.....Chilwell High Road won’t be the same!

I suppose it was inevitable, but the news does none the less leave me with a heavy heart. Crossplay never recovered from the extremely sad loss of both Mike Gamble & Mad Mick (local music legend, who died suddenly in 2012) when its own heart was ripped out. Mick asked me to help him after he was left holding shop after Mike Gamble passed away. From June till December 2012 we worked together and those 7 months were the most happiest of times which I remember with great fondness. We had the biggest laugh keeping going when customers were all at The Guitar Spot (not!). Trying to apprehend the Crossplay thief, who visited us for the second time just after I started working there in June and also trying to avoid the reptile skins that kept turning up also entertaining the reps when they often popped in for a chat, tea, coffee and biscuits, and of course having fun playing music.

Mick asked me in to work front of shop whist he carried on with his love of working on and repairing guitars (and other assorted paraphernalia), and making his flutes. He was in fact a far better salesman than I could ever be with his inevitable style and could sell ice to Eskimos. After Mick’s untimely and sad passing in December 2012 I kept shop going as much as I could on my own until Mike Gamble’s widow finally sold the shop in October 2013. Whist never the same I owe a lot to friends in the Hop Pole Beeston & The Guitar Spot and on Chilwell High Road for keeping me going in Crossplay for a further 10 months RIP Crossplay, Mike & Mad Mick xxx MS As the Co owner of what seemed to outsiders as rival business, we were all about community. We weren’t Tesco and Asda like most idiots think they have to be in small business. Our co existences helped each other and we would always seek each others help with a problem and banter in the pub at night. Condolences to the last owner. Tram works hurt. A thing that most of Chilwell road could agree Jimmy Wiggins - The Guitar Spot

Gossip from the

HIVE MIND +++Beeston public loo: RIP. Never the most beautiful of buildings, but my, have they saved us on occasions. But no more: the bulldozers saw them off last month. But it’s ok! The council have arranged a scheme to pay local businesses to use their bogs. Oh, what’s that? They haven’t? Ahhh. Well, I’m sure all councillors who made this decision will not mind you using their toilets. Addresses available online. +++ +++ Weirdest place The Beestonian has been: 10, Downing Street. Apparently we’ve been used as an example of excellence in hyperlocal media, at a presentation to the cabinet. This beats our previous weirdest reader: we heard some months back that as part of the plans for the Prince’s Foundation to work on the Barton’s development, a copy of The Beestonian was sent to Prince Charles to illustrate the spirit of the town. Of course, this information will not in any way influence our impeccable independent journalism +++ +++ Grammar schools eh? Great idea. +++ +++ Y’know, I always find this column is easier to write once I’ve had a nice cup of tea and a few DUCHY ORIGINAL oat biscuits. Y’know, the ones that cost about three quid a crumb +++ Talking of posh nosh, Marks and Sparks food are coming to town. Yes, everyone’s favourite purveyor of over-priced grub that isn’t from Waitrose are setting up shop on Chilwell Retail Park. A pipeline supplying every house in Attenborough with organic balsamic is being installed, and the ducks down the nearby nature reserve will now be fed artisan ciabatta instead of the usual Mighty White +++ +++ Yes, we know that you should not feed bread to ducks. But this is no ordinary bread. This is slow baked, herb infused Marks and Spencer bread +++

Thanks!

Huge thanks to all of our contributors, sponsors, stockists, regular readers and anyone who has picked this up for the first time (hello!)

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+++ We don’t condone graffiti, but we find it so hard to walk past this business and not write ‘Scissor’ in marker pen. +++

+++ Our beloved and totally sober MP went off on one recently, when Twitter seemed to unanimously question her rather overwrought appearance on BBC’s Question Time. “I HAVE NEVER USED THAT WORD” she thundered to a twitter user who mentioned Anna’s well-documented use of the C- word “DELETE THIS DEFAMATORY TWEET”. Calm, Anna, calm. While it is an offensive to many, we’re all open minded enough to use the word ‘Conservative” without much embarrassment. +++ +++ Brilliant work from Beestonian Lewis Stainer, for recently setting up a food collection for refugees. His hard work persuaded a massive amount of food, mainly own-brand tins, to be donated. This will be then sent to Calais to keep the stateless, stranded refugees there some sustenance while our elected leaders continue to dither. Well done Lewis. Next year, with M+S firmly part of Beeston, it’ll probably be all spiralised courgette and quinoa. Or maybe we can hope there will be no need, and solutions will be found to give the hopeless hope. Sadly, that’s as likely as some shiny public Armitage Shanks being stuck in the centre of town. +++

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