The Beestonian Issue 65: The Food Issue by The Beestonian

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Issue No. 65

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Beestonian The

ere’s a fact to be proud of: never in Beeston’s history has the town played host to so many restaurants and cafes. While the highstreet contends with the stresses of the internet and bargain-savvy customers, the floggers of food are in their salad days. Their locally-sourced leaves, perfectly dressed salad days. How come we’ve gone from a town perfectly happy with a Pot Noodle and Twix dinner, to one that can eat cuisines from a score of different countries without venturing far? Perhaps it’s to do with the university-fuelled cosmopolitan nature of the town, bringing ingredients, recipes and inspiration to our environs. Perhaps it’s the repositioning of the town towards services rather than retail. Perhaps it’s cos we're just a bunch of bleddy gannets.

We couldn’t fit everything in this issue – there are simply so many grub-stations – but we can’t not mention a guy we lost this Summer: the culinary genius that is Neil Kelso, who before his untimely death had spent 20 years transforming Beestonian's concept of pub food from a stodge of pork pie to truly gourmet food: this magazine wouldn’t have been possible without intense discussions over a Halloumi salad from The Vic, the pub he transformed to a back-water dive to a place that’s filled a hundred thousand grateful bellies. To all those who keep our collective taste buds tingling, The Beestonian salutes. Bon Appetit! MT

EDITORIAL Lord Beestonia; lead writer and founder...

I Am Beeston This issue: Johnny Pusztai

The Meat Magician

have been trying to get Nottingham’s famous butcher to do ‘I Am Beeston’ for practically two years now, but with running several businesses, it’s been almost impossible to pin him down for a chat. But finally we managed to get together, at L’Olvia, which is turning out to be one of the best and most popular restaurants in Beeston. “I was born in Worksop, North Notts. My father Dezso came from Hungary and immigrated to Nottingham in 1956, where he worked as an engineering welder. My Mum Pamela was a local girl, and sold tickets at

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“We lived across the road from the JT Beedham butchers, and my dad used to take me to see what was for sale. I was fascinated with all the different sorts of meats, the cuts and the terminology. I got on really well with the owners, George Beedham and Bill Robinson, so they set me on as a delivery boy when I was 12.

Continues...

social history. The challenge is to think about the whole food system as one, integrated, structure, at a nested hierarchy of scales, from the genes of individual plants to the entire planet.

H UNIVERSITY OF BEESTONIA

the ABC Cinema. From Worksop, we moved to Mansfield, then to Sherwood, when I was seven”.

ow can we feed a growing global population, in a cost effective way for consumer and supplier, That’s a challenge that also requires reaching sustainably and equitably out beyond individual institutions to our (environmentally, socially international academic networks, to industry, and economically) in a healthy way against a and to policy and governance organisations. background of increasingly unpredictable For example, the Future Food Beacon weather? Answers on the back of a has recently signed a memorandum postcard please to Lord B, c/o enge l l of understanding with the Food a h c e “Th the Beestonian, or at least t u and Agriculture Organisation o ink ab h something to think about over t o of the United Nations to t s i d your next pint or latté. work together towards these hole foo

the w as one, system ed, t integra ...” ure struct

These questions comprise one of the current global challenges, and like many research institutions worldwide the University Of Nottingham has invested in work to tackle some of these issues. The Future Food Beacon of Excellence is one of six Beacons established in the University over the last 18 months or so.

From an organisational point of view one of the challenges of tackling a global problem like the future of food is that it is not solvable within one traditional University Department or Faculty. Complex problems require the exchange of knowledge and ideas across traditional subject boundaries and institutional level projects such as the Beacons, or the University’s Global Research Themes, challenge researchers to think in inter- or cross-disciplinary spaces. It means in the Future Food Beacon, for example, geneticists are working alongside engineers, computer scientists, geologists, and experts in logistics, economics and

challenges (more details at blogs.nottingham.ac.uk/ newsroom/2019/07/15/ nottingham-and-un-join-forcesin-the-fight-against-world-hungerand-poverty).

As a researcher it’s inspiring to work in these big projects with experts from multiple academic and non-academic backgrounds, with a hope that we can take some steps, even small ones, towards coming up with solutions to these big problems. Given the world we live in it’s going to take some doing, but it’s encouraging to know there are plenty of folk trying. More information about the Beacons of Excellence can be found at www.nottingham. ac.uk/research/beacons-of-excellence/ index.aspx MJ currently has part of his salary paid for by The Future Food Beacon. MJ

Then when I turned 16, I got an apprenticeship with them. I really got stuck into the thick of it and learned all I could. I took over the business in 1991, but I worked in a slaughterhouse to earn enough to buy it. I worked on the boning line. It was the most boring job, but the best paid. I kept the Beedham name out of respect for George. He was probably the best butcher that ever lived”. Johnny first became well known to the general public when he appeared on the Great British Menu TV series with local Michelin starred chef Sat Bains in the second series, which aired in April 2007. Sat won the Midlands & East of England heat with his starter, which featured ham from Beedham’s. It received three ‘10s’ from the judges. Since then Johnny has become Sat Bain’s preferred butcher. Johnny also supplies a few restaurants in the city centre and the very place where we are sitting chatting. “I’ve known Marco since he opened. We’ve become very good friends. There used to five or six butchers in Beeston. Now there’s only two. The problem with supermarket meat is that they are not bothered about quality. It’s more to do with profit. I like Beeston. It’s a nice town with friendly people. I just love Nottinghamshire. It’s a wonderful county to live in” The secret to Johnny’s success is of course the meat itself. “I have a farm up at Wellow near Rufford, where we rear pigs and lambs. I also get meat from Brackenhurst College near Southwell. They breed red heifers, which is the best meat”.

Further TV appearances followed, including BBC2’s Market Kitchen with Gary Rhodes in November 2008. Then invitations to present cooking demonstrations at food festivals around the country stated to come in. A number of awards have also come Johnny’s way, such as the Guild of Fine Food for his sausages and bacon, and the Observer Food Awards in 2011. Johnny is very modest about his achievements. “I still work 16 hours a day. My job is never boring. I don’t drink, but love a good coffee and some nice food. I’ve seen Zulu 38 times. It’s my favourite film. My daughter Lara and I have just done the catering in the VIP Tent for Splendour at Wollaton Park. It was a very long day for both of us. But she is off to university to study Business Management and Marketing. So when she gets her degree, she’ll be able to promote me properly, as it’s something that I’m not that good at”. One part of Johnny’s businesses that hasn’t done as well as expected is ‘The Snobby Butcher Bistro’, which opened in May this year, after a year and a half of construction work on the adjoining Sherwood shop. “The restaurant has a future, I just have to reconfigure the idea. It just wasn’t working for me”. But there are two areas that have proved to be very popular; the food and drink shows and the experience days. “I have appeared at food festivals all over the country. There’s even one now in my home town of Worksop”. Beeston actually held one a few years ago, which Johnny attended. But it wasn’t a great

success. Possibly poor planning and publicity were to blame. Certainly the very wet weather on that particular Saturday didn’t help. The festival was split between the Square and Broadgate Park, and there were problems at the park, due to very muddy conditions. So it has sadly never been repeated.

“I kept the Beedham name out of respect for George. He was probably the best butcher that ever lived...” “The Experience Days have really taken off. People will spend the day with me at the shop and get involved in all aspects of butchery. We teach them how to bone a chicken or a piece of meat, make sausages, create flavours and cooking skills, so they can make the same dish at home”. One aspect of Johnny’s life that due to modesty didn’t want to mention was that he used to be a professional ice hockey player for the Nottingham Panthers. But some research showed that he played centre during their 1980-81 year. Despite his busy schedule, Johnny still finds time to coach the University of Nottingham team. “My father had a saying: we are born to be workers, so lets be the best that we can. Well Johnny, I don’t think anyone could argue with that. CF

careful now, It,s...

spa day is often a popular way of unwinding in this hectic world.

For my 40th birthday, my wife decided to treat us both to one. I’d never been to one before. On the way there I did consider starting a big row in the car, just so we’d get our money’s worth. Well there’s no point in taking your car in for a valet if it’s already clean is there? Imagine that, both of us walking into the reception, just yelling at each other, drowning out the sound of “The best of pan pipe moods volume 2”. “Hi, it’s Mr and Mrs Bennett. We’re here for the pamper day. Good luck unravelling this tension with some cucumber and a hot flannel”

SCOTT BENNETT

This ish: “Spa Day”

I couldn’t believe what I saw when we pulled into the grounds of the hotel. There were just people wandering around in their dressing gowns and slippers. It looked like visiting time in a psychiatric hospital. I thought, “she’s had me sectioned for my birthday”. I half expected to turn around and see her just speeding out the gates. It was like One Flew over the Cuckoo’s Nest. People were walking arm in arm, presumably being taken back to the ward for an afternoon dose of Prosecco. We queued up in silence at the buffet, holding out our tiny plates. I swear at one point I saw one lady just dribbling into the coleslaw, all zoned out after four hours of Reiki. It’s amazing how quickly you become comfortable with being half naked in front of complete strangers. I don’t like answering the door to the postman if I’m not dressed but there I was lying semi nude on a wicker sofa, with Roger and Marjorie from the Cotswolds, helping them with the Times crossword. My little working-class face was in awe. I felt like I’d climbed the social ladder. I particularly enjoyed sneering at the all the Groupon people, especially at that moment when they’ve realised they’ve effectively paid £50 for a posh swim. I decided I wanted a massage; I’d never had one before. As soon as I got in there though, I instantly regretted it. The masseuse was a Glaswegian woman, called Jacqui and let me tell you, that is was as threatening as it sounds. That is not the accent for that job! I have never been so scared in my entire life. When I got in the room, she was stood there with her clipboard, wearing a black tunic, which I swear had blood stains on. Then she spoke: “Ya alright Mr Bennett, my names Jacqui, I’m your masseuse for the next hour. Why don’t you get yerself on ma bed, put your face in the hole, roll down those wee shorts, close your eyes and just relax….” I just nodded and did what she said. I thought as long as I do what she says, I’ll stand a chance of seeing the kids again. I remembered the first rule of any hostage situation, always keep the captor talking:

“Sorry Jacqui, I’m a bit nervous, this is my first time, I don’t normally pay for it” “Pay for what?” Jacqui said. “A massage, my wife normally does it, but you can’t beat getting a pro to do it can you…..erm, professional I mean….erm” “Don’t be nervous Mr Bennett, you ain’t got nothing I haven’t already seen before” I thought, “Christ, she’s hacked my phone too!” “So, before we start is there anything you’d like to tell me?” I said nothing. I might be a lot of things but I’m no grass. Jacqui was a small woman but my god she was strong. She massaged me like I owed her money. She really went for it. It was so tense; the room was silent. I’m staring at the floor; my face is wedged in the hole and all I could hear was my own heartbeat and a slapping noise, as Jacqui pushed around my back fat. She offered me a range of oils to choose from, ones to soothe, ones to invigorate and ones to stimulate the muscles. “What’s that one on the end?” I said. “That’s no for you, that’s Crisp ‘n’ Dry, that’s ma shopping.” I just picked one, I didn’t care; because at that point I was doing what most men do in a massage situation, because things, unplanned things, had started to happen. One muscle had been stimulated a bit more than all the rest. If you are a female a massage is nothing but relaxation, you drift off into a zen like state of bliss. Men aren’t wired that way. For us, all it becomes is a struggle, an hour-long battle to hold in that fart and hold down that erection. The fact is, we don’t like being fiddled with unless it’s going to lead somewhere. I’m now biting on the towel, my butt cheeks have gone numb, I’m trying to distract myself by looking at Jacqui’s toes. Trying to imagine there my own mothers’ toes. I even did the full “this little piggy went to market routine”, but nothing was working. Then Jacqui said the one sentence I didn’t want to hear, the one that made me wish I’d have stayed in the hot-tub or stayed in the lounge with Roger and Marjorie: “Right Mr Bennett, its time to flip you over” I was panicking now, I was just thinking, “FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, NOT NOW JACQUI!!!, I will take your eye out here, I will knock the glasses from your face, I’m primed like a plate dispenser!” When I met up with Jemma later, she asked me how it went. “Not bad I said, I think I prefer it when you do it though. Next time I’ll stick to the pedicures.” @scottbcomedyuk | scottbennettcomedy.co.uk Find The Scott Bennett Podcast on SoundCloud and iTunes SB

Attenborough

blackberries

combination of one of the warmest springs in the last 100 years and a wet and mild June has provided the perfect growing conditions for plants and there is currently a wonderful display of colour at Attenborough Nature Reserve.

The most noticeable as you walk around the Reserve at the moment are the flowers and blackberries on the bramble. This familiar thorny shrub grows almost anywhere on the Reserve and can commonly be found in woodland, grassland and within the hedgerows. The white and pinkish flowers are literally covering the bushes and on sunny days attract a huge number of bees, hoverflies and other pollinating insects. Bramble is incredibly valuable for the wildlife at Attenborough. Not only do the flowers provide opportunities for pollinating insects, but the fruit provides food for mammals and birds – particularly during the autumn migration. The dense spiky bushes give valuable protection for nesting birds and also provides a habitat for a range of other small animals. Incredibly some 400 micro-species of wild blackberry grow in the UK! Following an abundance of flowers on the bramble this year it seems that we are going to be in for a bumper crop of blackberries! The fruit is already beginning to ripen some weeks earlier than we would typically expect. I have fond memories of foraging with my parents as a child. My mum in particular was a keen jam maker and would have a large jam pan on the stove from late spring to autumn as different fruits became available. Blackberry season was always one of my favourite times of the year, and I possibly ate as many berries as I put in my ice-cream tub for the jam.

There is some evidence to suggest that trees and shrubs are fruiting up to three weeks earlier than they were 50 years ago, the result of global climate change. Although it would take many more years of data to confirm this, as an indication of just how far the seasons have come forward in the last 30 years, it would have been in the week before I went back to school after the summer holiday that we would head out to pick blackberries. In the last few years, I have taken my son out picking in the first week of the school holiday.

Wild foraging is certainly a great way to engage children in the wonders of the natural world. Whilst the blackberries are the most obvious fruit, a vast array of edible delights can be found around the Reserve including dewberry, elder, cherry, blackthorn, hawthorn and rose to name but a few. Most are wild set, but others such as crab apple, pear and plum serve as a reminder of the Reserve’s history within an agricultural landscape. Whilst we do not discourage visitors from picking blackberries, we kindly ask that if you are going to go foraging on Nature Reserves such as Attenborough that you stick to the footpaths and do not trample the vegetation in order to get to the juiciest fruit. In 2011 we had a similarly early crop of blackberries and the actions of blackberry pickers, trampling down the vegetation, led to a bird’s nest being uncovered – the chicks, unprotected by the prickly vegetation, were subsequently predated and died. Please enjoy the wild harvest, but only pick what you know you will use/eat, leave some for the birds and other wildlife and finally only pick what you are certain is edible and that you have identified correctly. TS

TIM SEXTON

Attenborough Nature Reserve: A Bumper Year for Blackberries

curtains, chuck on an old Doctor Who, and demolish an 8-person serving of popcorn between the 3 of us. And that’s ok. I’ve had to adjust my expectations in line with my level of exhaustion and realise that staying home is as much fun as going on big days out, and often more needed. It’s fine to eat leftover pizza for 3 days. It’s fine to open the back door and throw the kids outside while you listen to a podcast in a darkened room. It’s fine to start drinking at 2pm. Whatever you need to stay sane and happy, because that’s all the kids really need. A happy grown-up. After that, anything else is possible.

Bee

s the academic year draws to its end, tired, sticky children are trying the tempers of their grow-ups, who are about to embark upon six heady weeks of frantic babysitter appointments and guilty goodbyes. Summer is a tough one if you work and have kids. Siblings form a Battle Royale with Fortnite figures for weapons, and only children (like mine) are either stuck to you like a barnacle or in a huff because you haven’t heard of a particular Youtuber. It’s a time for reminders, for behaviour checks, for remembering how to respect each other, a time for chicken nuggets and potato smiles for 5 days running and a time to check in and regroup.

In which our very own Beest of Beeston takes a look at our enviable collection of top-notch taprooms! This month:

Chapter 12. Holidays!

motherh

DAISY LEVERINGTON

on P t s

Nu m be

“It’s fine to eat leftover pizza for 3 days.”

As a family we are going into the holidays with a lot of excitement after a tough term for all of us. Our kid has dealt with teasing from kids at school (how dare she wear glasses and crop tops?) and we’ve come out the other side of a miscarriage which knocked me sideways. My husband is working full time over summer while I juggle a 4-day working week with full time childcare, but we are unusually excited for the weeks ahead. As much as family encourage us to get out and about, our favourite thing is to shut the

So, for the next 6 weeks we will be focusing on indulging the things we love, the paddling pools, the picnics, the family TV sessions, the not going out, the time in the same room even if we are staring at different screens. We won’t feel guilty if we don’t join in a day trip to the swimming pool. We can say no to stuff that we simply don’t fancy. Our time is ours, and that’s all we really ever own. The holidays are built up through the year and we need to bring them to a manageable level. It’s a marathon not a sprint so remember to stay hydrated and good luck to you all. DL

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DEBRA URBACZ For Goodness Bake

Creative Beeston I

love cooking! Now I am not going to claim that I am a secret Michelin Star chef or anything like that but I can throw together a tasty and satisfying meal from the general contents of my food cupboard and fridge. Cooking is like that, you can add a little bit of this and a splash of that and improve the flavour as you go along – and that’s what I enjoy most about cooking, the creative opportunities it provides. Baking on the other hand, has always been far too exact a science for me. Get your measurements wrong and your cake can come out so flat and dense you could use it as a discus, and I think this is why I feel I am no good at it. Luckily there is no shortage of excellent establishments in Beeston where I regularly satisfy my craving for cakes and pastries. You might recall that we started the year with an article featuring, then newcomer, The Doughmother down on Central Avenue. We also have homegrown talents like the Beeston Brownie Company who have been tempting us with their wares since 2016 and can be sampled at Rudyard’s Tea House and Beeston Farmer’s Market to name two popular outlets. There are also sweet treats a plenty to be found in the many coffee shops that line the streets of Beeston, but that got me to thinking…where do you go if you want to learn how to bake? Beeston Baking School that’s where! Beeston Baking School has been around for a while now. The creator Jill Owen launched her business on Facebook back in April 2017 but its legacy goes back much further. When I meet with Jill she reveals her passion for cooking came from her mum, an accomplished cook

who delighted in bringing people together around the table at her relaxed dinner parties. Her passion was further fuelled at the Girl’s High School, when three hours of cookery per week one year provided her with all the basic knowledge needed to make a selection of easy meals and puddings. Although her love of cooking stuck with her, her first career choice took her down an entirely different route, however when her children came along she would often be found with a house full of happy baking children. Much to Jill’s delight, one of her daughters asked her to start a cookery club at her school so Jill approached the staff at Roundhill to see if this was possible. It was there she met a number of supportive staff members who, not only encouraged Jill, but went several steps further and applied for Lottery funding to finance a three year project named ‘Let’s Get Cooking’. It was the brainchild of one of the teachers, Lesley Eddison and a room in the school was converted and kitted out as a fully functioning cookery room. Year 6 children would come over in their lunch break and both cook and eat their lunch for the day. Jill tells me that is was ‘a bit rushed’ but fun to do and the children loved it! At the same time they were learning all the basic cooking skills. Her fondest memory (or most hilarious, I am not sure which) was of making bread with 50 children all at the same time. It was wonderful chaos and Jill was surprised at how many children ‘freaked out’ at the live dough moving in their hands as well as the mess they were getting into, and describes the experience as ‘never to be repeated.’

Jill says that her baking classes use everyday equipment and ingredients, and she tries to create a relaxing environment in which students can leave their worries at the door, enjoy the ingredients without time pressure, be mindful and find their inner child. Students are encouraged to be creative and experiment and come up with different versions of bakes. Baking can be quite a therapeutic experience. She particularly likes being able to encourage, for example children with dyspraxia to bake – they always achieve great results, and are really chuffed. She says “I know what it feels like to struggle with things that other people seem to do effortlessly – I was painfully shy as a child and it took me many years to learn to chat with people. I never dreamed that I would have the confidence to teach classes” Parent often come to bake with their child, and I think they enjoy having three unrushed hours to chat and make something nice together, a perfect opportunity to praise and encourage their child. Baking can also teach discipline and patience. Activities such as baking bread can remind us that sometime we need to slow down. One of Jill’s first sessions was baking bread, a five hour stint with an hour for lunch to let it rise. Jill runs regular and ad hoc sessions and welcomes participants of all abilities. Having tried free community sessions in various spaces she now works commercially from home. She is happy to tailor make a session to suit your requirements and the focus can be anything from baking the perfect sponge cake to exploring the various herbs and spices that can be used in cooking. During the first three weeks of the Summer Holidays, there will be Children’s baking classes, every Monday, Wednesday and Friday morning, 10.30am – 1.30pm. Message Jill on Facebook “Beeston Baking School” or email: jill@julianowen. co.uk DU

The Perfect Circle

n some cultures, perfecting the skill of drawing a circle by hand is considered a mark of true art mastery. So what has creating an eatery called The Circle achieved?

Well if you have ever made the journey out of Beeston as far as Bingham, you might well know of popular restaurant The Circle Eatery, in fact you may be one of the many people that have eaten there since their opening in 2017 and left them a favourable review on Trip Advisor. The owner Javid, tells me ‘the name comes from the circle of friends that own it, the circle it creates in the community, by using local suppliers and the business involved. It’s a place where you can be with your circle.’ And that is certainly the impression I am getting. So why I am banging on about a restaurant in Bingham in a food edition of The Beestonian? Quite simply because Javid is bringing the same European vibe to us on the High Road this September. You may already be aware that Rye Café Bar has been under new management since January of this year. Having spent several months getting to know Beeston’s discerning clientele, Javid is now ready to transform the sleek sultry interior, previously better suited to bar culture, into a bright Mediterranean style restaurant. I am already visualising the tiling, the bold colours and open space that will be created by taking out the booths, putting in a skylight and a panoramic window to the kitchen area as Javid tells me his plans for the place. And of course there is the outside space out front which is especially popular at this time of year. He shares with me his delight in the opportunity to bring a restaurant to Beeston and in such an architecturally pleasing building. I am sure we will be delighted too. Originally from Belper in Derbyshire, Javid understands the importance of community and wants customers of The Circle Eatery to feel both welcome and ‘at home.’ He has already made connections in the neighbourhood and praises Beeston for its wealth of good quality produce and its vibrant food scene. When his dad moved the family to West Bridgford, and opened a café on Trent Bridge, Javid’s interest in opening his own food business was ignited. His degree in Product Design at Trent University honed his eye for detail and passion for presentation. Rye is scheduled be closing at the end of August and re-opening as The Circle Eatery in mid- September. Whilst the transformation takes place customers will be treated to fresh handmade pizzas served from a Piaggio pizza van out front and getting a taste of what’s to come. www.thecircleeatery.co.uk

Life in lines

JADE MOORE

Life in Lines is a podcast series created by Jenny Swann, of One Plum poem. Each podcast is a five-minute interview with a Nottingham person who has been asked to share, and speak about, their favourite poem. I went to visit Jenny to speak about Life in Lines and what inspired it...

had been listening to a few podcasts,” Jenny says, “and a lot of them were longer than I wanted or needed. I would just like something that was about five minutes long. Just something to perk the day up, give me something interesting to think about. But not having to find an hour to sit down and commit to it.” Although it wasn’t poetry podcasts she was listening to when she thought this, it was a poetry podcast which got her thinking further. “It was a programme with Alice Oswald on Radio 4,” she says. “They had picked one ode per day, and Alice Oswald was talking about ‘Ode on a Grecian Urn’ by John Keats, and the programme was about 40 minutes long. She was talking about when she came across it, what she liked about it, and just talking about how the poem worked and what was going on in Keats’ life at the time.”

Jenny thought that Alice would then read the poem for people who’d become intrigued by what she’d said but didn’t know the poem, or for those who would need their memories of the poem refreshing. Instead, the programme ended there. “How could they assume that all of their listeners are going to remember that poem in sufficient detail,” remarks Jenny. “if they ever knew it in the first place. So I thought, no, this won’t do, we need to do it properly.” It was the combination of feeling that podcasts were too much of commitment, and listening to this programme about a poem which was then not read out which inspired Jenny to think that she’d like to create these little podcasts asking people about a favourite poem of theirs and what it is they love about it. But, crucially, then reading the poem. Before recording anything at all, Jenny worried that people’s choices would lead to a line-up of dead, white, Englishmen. “One of the most miraculous things,” says Jenny, “was how naturally all over the place the choices were. And international choices, not just off the school curriculum at all. Some quite obscure poems, some famous poems, some men, some women. It was lovely for me; it was a revelation to hear what had really gone deeply into people’s hearts and stuck with them.” This diverse selection of poems also meant that she was introduced to some poets and poems she hadn’t heard of previously.

“I discovered one new poet, and various new poems,” she says. “For instance the one that the founder of The Beestonian Matt Turpin picked, that particular Thomas Hardy poem I had never read before. I was thrilled to meet it. And then Henry Normal picked a poem by a Danish poet I had never even heard of.” Jenny is referring to the poet Piet Hein, who was also a mathematician and inventor. He created a new poetry form which he named ‘Gruks’ or ‘Grooks’. “I had never come across him or a Grook, or this particular Grook before. It was a lovely eye-opener for me.” The first lot of podcasts were released to coincide with this year's Nottingham Poetry Festival, with the next lot held back until National Poetry Day in October. Jenny also teamed up with UNESCO Nottingham City of Literature to help promote each podcast. “I didn’t want this to be in any way a commercial enterprise,” says Jenny. “I wanted it to reach as many people who were interested in poetry, in Nottingham. Nottingham UNESCO City of Literature website is pivotal and central to Nottingham’s literary community. all the people that I interviewed had a connection with Nottingham, not least the Sheriff. I defy anyone not to want to know what the Sheriff of Nottingham’s favourite poem is!” Since releasing the podcasts, Jenny has received positive feedback. From comments on the NCoL website, and from the two people who run National Poetry Day, who she sent some of them to. The only tedious part, she tells me, was the issue of copyright for the chosen poems. “If you use a poem that’s still in copyright you need to get permission from a copyright holder, and you need to pay them a fee,” Jenny explains. “And there was one wonderful poem all about the little people standing up to the powers that be and the rich, tyrannical people. And when I approached that copyright holder for permission, they quoted me hundreds of pounds, so I said ‘sorry, can’t do it. P.S. Have you read this poem? It’s about the little people not being intimidated by the money bags.’ They wrote back, and the son of this particular poet said to the copyright administrators ‘You give them that poem free of charge!’ It was a lovely story, because it’s about taking poetry seriously, not just using it as a commodity but listening to what it’s saying about how people live their lives.” You can listen to the Life in Lines podcast episodes on Soundcloud at soundcloud.com/ lifeinlinesnotts JM

Elevenses at 'Birds' Jeremy Duffield (Fragments of a cake-shop conversation) We keep wearing the same pair of shoes, don't we even though I've piles at home. We'll soon be able to stop wearing hats, won't we provided the weather gets warmer. Was it you she said they'd only got white bread to? Oh! I know, I don't know how long the sandwiches will be. They're both blind, aren't they and they both wear nice hats. The cobbler cuts keys, so should have key rings as well. Yes, the one just down from the Pound Shop. I used to have a lot of key rings but you just give them away, don't you? Will they be finished before you get back? Oh yes, they've taken all the frames down and put new doors in. Don't forget your sweeteners, chick. They're not mine; they always have them on the counter. I think they're making your sandwiches now. Oh good. Bye bye, chick. You haven't put too much butter on, have you, 'Cos I don't like too much butter.

POETRY ROUND-UP POTTLE POETRY

First Sunday of the month The Pottle micropub 4-6pm A free, open mic poetry afternoon, everyone welcome!

INSPIRE POETRY FESTIVAL

Monday 23 September – Saturday 28 September Beeston Library Featuring celebrated poetry stars, regional favourites and cutting-edge newcomers, and with styles ranging from the formal lyric to freestyle spoken word, this year’s festival promises a plethora of poetry delights at venues around the county.

PAPER CRANE POETS

Every other Tuesday, Beeston Library 5:30-7:30pm, 18+ Paper Crane Poets is a brand new poetry collective, hosted by local poets Chris McLoughlin and Leanne Moden! We're looking forward to building a group of writers who collaborate, encourage, and support each other.

The Curious Cabaret

The Beestonian is...

Lead Writer/Founder • Lord Beestonia Co-Founder/Resident Don • Prof J Editor • Christian Design & The Beest • Dan Business Manager • Jade History Editor • Joe Earp

Top-notch contributors this issue:

Matt Turpin, Dan Cullen, Scott Bennett, Tim Sexton, John Cooper, Daisy Leverington, Christopher Frost, Matt Jones, Debra Urbacz, Tim Pollard, Joe Earp, Jade Moore and Lulu Davenport

Wednesday 18 September, 7:30-10pm, The Berliner The Curious Cabaret is a monthly evening of magic, stand up comedy and poetry all enjoyed whilst sipping cocktails and enjoying the relaxing vibe of the Berliner in Beeston. The night is designed to give a platform for both new and experienced performers and is not to be missed!

PROFESSIONAL TUNING AT A COMPETITIVE PRICE

Stockists: Berliner, The Hive, Rye, The Hop Pole, The Crown, The White

Lion, The Star, Mish Mash Gallery, The Malt Shovel, Broadgate Laundrette, Bubba Tea, The Bean, Beeston Library, Cafe Roya, Metro, Beeston Marina Bar and Cafe, Attenborough Nature Reserve, The Pottle, Greenhood, Beeston Nursery, The Victoria, Canalside Heritage Centre, Beeston Community Shop (formally Thorntons), Oxfam Books, L’Oliva, Two Little Magpies, Local not Global, John Flynn Opticians, Out of this World, lots of hairdressers and suchlike. ... If you’d like to be a stockist, let us know by emailing thebeestonian@gmail.com

Nottingham, Derby & Leicester 07528322262 christianafox@msn.com FB: Christian Fox Piano Tuning foxpianotuningnottingham.wordpress.com

The Birthplace of TIM POLLARD Nottingham’s official Robin Hood

’ll be honest with you, I’ve not been good with food. I love eating it, obviously (very obviously if you look at my waistline and the increasingly wider and tighter belts I have to wear when I’m Robin Hood-ing) but I’ve never been that bothered about choosing the right stuff and even less so about cooking it.

takeaways, chocolate and booze hard to fill an aching gap neither food nor drink could actually touch. So despite the sterling efforts of friends who used to pop round with healthy meals after two years of comfort eating my arteries are hardening and I’m getting slower, heavier and wider. Not a good look for a legendary hero, really.

The reasons are varied; laziness and apathy are certainly up there but the ability to eat pretty much anything and not put any weight on when younger was another. That, I guess, got me into some pretty bad habits.

Plus it’s not just me, of course there’s Scarlett to think about too. I’m a firm believer childhood nutrition is really important and I’m glad her school meals are as good as they are but even when I’ve been lax with myself I’ve made sure she eats well and healthily.

My job didn’t help either – for a great many years I used to work at medieval banquets (anyone here remember ‘The Sheriff’s Lodge’ on Canal Street in Nottingham, or the ‘Tales of Robin Hood’ on Maid Marian Way?). The staples there were roast chicken, bread, potatoes (one of the least ‘medieval foods ever) and beer. Lots and lots of beer.

“Scarlett’s at helping me e ier both health .” and better..

And Beeston has a plethora of great takeaways too – my personal favourites are Poppa Pizza, Big Fish and the Ko Sing Chinese, but I do miss the now long gone Shadab Balti on Wollaton Road. The guys who ran that were wonderful, kind, friendly and even used to randomly pop round with food for Sal and I to try to see if we liked it. Good times. Sal was a great cook and I took it up too to try and impress her with my (pretty non-existent) culinary prowess - apparently I didn’t do too badly either. I enjoyed the preparation and presentation and bought loads of fab gadgets from Lidl and Aldi – teppanyaki grills, fondue sets, giant paella dishes etc. and we had a blast for a while. But then sadly, the world changed forever and after Sal’s illness and passing I reverted to the path of least resistance, hitting the

The best part is that these days we cook our meals together – Scarlett has a surprisingly mature attitude to food (most of the time, anyway – she’s five so sometimes the ‘I don’t like that’ gets chucked about for foods she’s loved the day before or never even tried). She even grows some of her own food, as Sal’s Mum Joy helps her grow potatoes and cress in her garden – and thankfully the whole family encourages her to try new foods too. Yesterday, given a free choice of whatever she wanted for dinner she chose poached salmon, tender stem broccoli and new potatoes. We went to the shops and then she helped prepare and cook it all – and ate it all too, with a delighted and triumphant cry of “Daddy, I’ve finished!” and a smile that melted my heart. So rather wonderfully Scarlett’s helping me eat both healthier and better, I’m losing weight and we’re both learning more about food and nutrition. Even better it’s just great fun and is bringing us closer together too - how cool is that? #SalWouldApprove, definitely : ) TP

Henry Ireton A

ttached to the shadow of Attenborough's St Marys Church is a picturesque unpretentious white house. Very little visitors who pass by on their way to the Nature Reserve know that there is great historical interest connected to the house. It was in this house that the famous Parliamentary General, Henry Ireton was born. He was the eldest son of German Ireton of Attenborough and was baptized in St. Mary's Church on 3 November 1611. Owing to the archaic practice of ultimogeniture, or inheritance by the youngest son, that was prevalent in parts of 17th century Nottinghamshire, Henry did not inherit the family estate when his father died in 1626. Ireton would go on to marry Oliver Cromwell's daughter Bridget. Oliver Cromwell, England's Lord Protectorate himself is said to have visited Attenborough and the house on a number of occasions. When Ireton become old enough he left Attenborough and at the age of 15 he attended Trinity College Oxford. He graduated with a Bachelor of Arts on 10th June 1629. After his BA he read law in the Middle Temple but was not called to the Bar. Although he was not called to the bar, Ireton probably practised as a lawyer during the 1630s. As tensions between King Charles and the Long Parliament grew, he became prominent among the Puritans of Nottinghamshire by organising the Root and Branch petition against Episcopacy in the county. As war clouds gathered, Ireton joined his kinsman John Hutchinson in recruiting a company to protect the magazine of the Nottingham militia from the King's men. As the English Civil War began he raised a troop of cavalry and fought for the Parliamentarians at the battles of Edgehill (1642) and Gainsborough (1643). He then

JOSEPH EARP Beeston’s secret history...

served as quartermaster-general to the Earl of Manchester in Yorkshire in the Marston Moor campaign of summer 1644, and at Newbury in October. Ireton was at the siege of Bristol in September 1645 and took part in the subsequent campaign that succeeded in overthrowing the royal cause. On 30 October 1645 Ireton entered parliament as member for Appleby.

In the year 1646, King Charles I surrendered to the Parliamentarians, this was also the same year when Ireton married 22-year-old Bridget Cromwell. The victorious army then became involved in arguments with parliament, in part about lack of pay. Ireton emerged as one of the ablest politicians among the army leadership. He played an important part in upholding his men's interests, but declined to support their more extreme political ideas, proposing a constitutional monarchy. He was involved with negotiations with the king, but after Charles fled to the Isle of Wight, Ireton became convinced that there was no point negotiating further. The second civil war, in which he served at the siege of Colchester, persuaded him that no deal with Charles was possible. It was Ireton who set in motion the train of events that led to the trial and execution of King Charles. Ireton drafted the Army Remonstrance, which demanded that the King should be brought to account for causing unnecessary bloodshed among his subjects. Ireton was closely involved in the organisation of the King's trial and was one of 59 who signed the King's death warrant. King Charles I was beheaded on January 30, 1649 at the Palace of Whitehall in London. Ireton accompanied Cromwell on his campaign in Ireland in 1649 - taking part in the storming of Drogheda and Wexford - and assumed command when Cromwell returned

to England in May 1650. Whilst directing the Siege of Limerick in 1651, Ireton died and was buried in Westminster Abbey. After his death the government settled a pension of £2,000 for his widow and five children. As a result of the Restoration of King Charles II in 1660, Ireton's body was disinterred from Westminster Abbey along with his Father-InLaw Oliver Cromwell and was hung from the gallows at Tyburn. His corpse was mutilated in a posthumous execution in retribution for signing the King's death warrant. Posthumous execution involved hanging the bodies "from morning till four in the afternoon". Ireton's body along with Oliver Cromwell’s were cut down and the heads placed on a 20-foot (6.1 m) spike above Westminster Hall. This was quite ironic in a way as this was the location of the trial of King Charles I. JE

1a Devonshire Avenue, Beeston, Nottingham, NG9 1BS Monday to Friday from 9am to 5.30pm Saturday 9am to 5pm

Established in Beeston, Nottingham over 70 years ago, John Flynn Opticians is located on the corner of the leafy Devonshire Avenue and Chilwell High Road (opposite corner to Ellis-Fermor & Negus Solicitors). Director and senior Optometrist at John Flynn Opticians, Dr Sheeraz Janjua is one of only 25 Optometrists in the UK to be awarded the degree of Doctor of Optometry from Aston University for his research in Dry Eye Syndrome. He was also one of a select few nominated for the Optometrist of the Year award in 2018. Having been at the helm in Beeston since 2016, Dr. Janjua provides both private and NHS patients with the option to benefit from an enhanced eye examination using an OCT instrument to produce macular, retinal and optic nerve scans to aid early diagnosis of various ocular conditions.

With over 45 years of experience between us we have 2 goals: Provide a friendly, welcoming, homely environment with a passion for great customer service and to combine the best ophthalmic lenses from some of the most respected lens manufacturer’s alongside some of the finest hand-made frames from around the world.

The Importance Of Wearing Sunglasses In The Summer

Don’t take our word for it – here’s what our patients are saying about us:

Wear sunglasses this summer, not just as a fashion accessory but most importantly to protect your eyes from the sun’s ultraviolet (UV) rays.

“I was recommended to go to John Flynn Optician by family members. I love everything about the practice and I will now only ever use John Flynn’s. The glasses are well made, well fitted and I can see much better. My eye examination with Dr. Janjua was very informative and he put me at ease - very good. All the team at John Flynn’s have treated me well and I cannot fault them.”

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“I came to John Flynn Optician through a recommendation from a friend and have never been to another opticians. My eye examination was thorough and explained to me very clearly. The team at John Flynns are very helpful and cheerful. Carry on the good work.”

We’ve all experienced glare in our daily lives whether it be driving in a car with the sun reflecting off the dashboard, road, windscreen and bonnet or the sun illuminating the surface of the water while spending the day at the beach. Usually glare is annoying and uncomfortable on the eyes, but when the angle of reflection is just right the glare can become blinding and often downright dangerous, as in the case of driving a vehicle.

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“I’d heard that the glasses were great quality and the service was great at John Flynn Optician. The staff have been very helpful and gave me all the facts I needed. I love the personal touch and that you don’t have to ask for help - it’s just given. I love my new glasses - the style, the colour, the quality - everything. Dan and Annette have been brilliant from the minute I walked in the door. They are very friendly and provided perfect service in every way. I will be coming back and will share my experience with others.”

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We are all aware of how hazardous the sun can be for our skin, leaving behind spots or lines causing premature aging. Of course the biggest danger is skin cancer including eyelid cancer, your eyelids are thin and sensitive pieces of skin that are just as susceptible to skin cancer as the other parts of your body that are exposed to the sun. However, many people don’t realize that the sun is just as damaging to the fragile organs that are our eyes including short and long-term eye damage such as cataracts, age-related macular degeneration and other sunrelated eye diseases. Remember Sunglasses are not all created equal, all of our sunglasses/perscritption sun lenses offer upto 100% UV protection and bigger lenses are even better as they offer even more coverage of the sensitive eye area.

Don’t forget we offer a 50% discount on your second set of lenses including all of our polarised lenses. T&C’s apply.

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Ordinary tinted sunglass lenses only cut down on the ambient light that reaches the eye but by their very nature, they cannot block glare only polarised lenses can block out this dangerous,often blinding glare, they can also enhance visual acuity, colour contrast and visual comfort, blocking 100% of harmful UVA/B light.

Pharmacy

Open Monday to Friday from 9am to 5:30pm. Saturday 9am-5pm John Flynn Opticians welcomes the registration of new patients and parking is available in the practice’s own car park. Telephone 0115 9255051 to make an appointment. enquiries@johnflynnopticians.co.uk www.johnflynnopticians.co.uk Want to stay up to date with the latest news and arrivals?why not follow us on Instagram and Facebook @johnflynnopticians

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CODEWORD#65 Five star childcare

in the hear t of our community

beestumped 1. W hich poet is probably best known for writing the lines ‘They f##k you up, your mum and dad, they may not mean to, but they do’? 2. W hat pivotal historical event shocked the state of Massachusetts in the 1690’s?

THIS IS IT: THE HARDEST QUIZ IN BEESTON! DO NOT SPILL ITS PINT!

1. 2. 3.

3. Where would you find your glabella? 4. In what direction does the earth spin?

5. I n 2011 cartoon characters Thompson and Thompson were voiced by who?

6. What was the Edinburgh Comedy Award originally known as?

7. W hat is your favourite time of day if you’re crepuscular?

8. T he Boston Terrier is also known as what?

9. In what region of India is the Taj Mahal located? 10. What is the character sometimes known as Olorin or Mithrandir best known as?

9. 10.

Call us now on

ANSWERS: Philip Larkin/Salem Witch Trials/above your nose/anticlockwise/ Simon Pegg and Nick Frost/Perrier/twilight/the American Gentleman/Agra/Gandalf

0115 7750185

www.beestonian.com thebeestonian@gmail.coM

to book a visit and find out why our families c heck love us! o www.beestonnursery.co.uk N e w ut t h e w e bs i

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www.beestonian.com thebeestonian@gmail.coM

Who Remembers Katie's?

C LULU DAVENPORT Beeston Eats

heers to David Ball, head honcho at punk magazine Failsafe (and excellent Beestonian) for this find: the 1977 Autumn of punk and new wave in Beeston. It’s hard to

imagine such massive bands descending on our town now (though Oxjam attracts some top talent and to be fair, the Buzzcocks did play Wollaton Park, which long-term readers will know is an honorary part of Beeston).

Did you go to any of these gigs? If so we’d love to hear from you. MT

The Drones X-Ray Spex

write this column with minutes to go before I head over to Splendour Festival over at Batman’s crib, Wollaton Hall. I have prepped myself for war with wellies and full on outfit changes for every weather outcome, a bit drastic I know, but as you can tell, this ain’t my first rodeo cowboy. It had only taken a total of 15 minutes to throw together an outfit, leggings check, t-shirt, (in case of miracle, however unlikely), Rain Mac and Hoody for warmth (check).

fight for coverage under trees. The merry dance of ‘Quick grab a jacket it is raining!’ to ‘Omg the suns out am sweating ‘happened over the hours like a clothing version of the Hokey Cokey. Luckily the sun finally made an appearance for 90s Britpop act Ash who absolutely killed it performing ‘Burn Baby Burn’ and my guilty pleasure ‘Girl From Mars’, The vast majority were present for Mr. Rory Graham otherwise known as Rag N Bone Man, for those in the dark, his deep baritone belted out this smash from 2016-All together now. “I’m only human after all, I’m only human after all, don’t put your blame on meeeeee’.

The truth is I may have had more time to prep however I had spent the morning on a vital and massively important mission, namely heading to the Farmers Market My love of priest comedy Father Ted to pick up some B.B.C’s, yep that’s introduced me to the band I had Beeston Brownie Company and come to see, ska supremes The their little slabs of brownie Specials , they quickly pulled “Beeston y heaven. The eyes fought it out all the stops on an enviable n a nie Comp out over the varieties on offer Brow catalogue (‘A Message tle back t li ir e and I walked away clutching a To You Rudy’, ’Too Much Too h t d n a telltale brown bag filled with a Young’ and ‘Rat Race’. I was ie n w o r fb Caramac and Salted Caramel slabs o most gutted the set list didn’t ” treats (I never was any good include ‘Ghost Town’, if you do n e v a e h at picking one choice) stopping not get the reference, stop reading myself at the three for £6 offer and this at once and watch ‘Think Fast managing to leave happy in the fact my Father Ted’. It’s ok I will wait…. addiction hasn’t yet spiraled out of control. The last act on in the disappearing daylight Once home I raided the cupboard for snacks were Welsh rockers Manic Street Preachers, to take as a picnic, if I was a nice person while their brand of political hits didn’t appeal the brownies would have taken place in to me ‘Back in the day’ (I was a raver dance my rucksack to share amongst friends at head) I heard the music with fresh ears, the the daylong music festival alongside the anger, the warning in the lyrics contained Rhubarb and Custard creams and Kettle in “If you tolerate this your children will be Chips, however I am not, and left them to next”, maybe back then it was all too feely chill in the fridge safe in the knowledge that I and deep thinking and didn’t have any horn am a greedy adult that doesn’t have to share samples or sped up vocals for my tastes. I goodies, more importantly they would sit as couldn’t tell you what they finished with or a reward for when I eventually made it home. an encore as usual I had darted out before the masses and was in the fridge with a I arrived at the Splendour gates full of hope, face full of my cherished brownies and a hot as the sun shone on my face, heading over chocolate by half ten (so rock and roll) I was to the Confetti stage I naively took out my even thoughtful enough to save the partner blanket and perched down as Notts Own a bite of one, see I can share!! Do Nothing took to the stage, I should have known I had tempted fate and soon enough LD the heavens opened leaving the masses to

Steel Pulse Radio Stars Buzzcocks Sham 69

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