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GRAY & BLUE THE UNIVERSITY OF MOSTLY WOMEN STUDENT NEWSPAPER

APRIL FOOL’S PAGE All articles on this page should be considered satirical and not be taken too seriously.

PRESS

April 4, 2019

VOLUME 92 | ISSUE 21 SASSING THE COMMUNITY SINCE

1922

How the mighty have fallen: UC to close in fall of 2019 KATE SELTZER News Editor

The latest in a line of campus building closings, UMW’s University Center will close indefinitely in the fall of 2019. The $56 million building, which opened in August of 2015 is closing due to a significant problem: not enough TVs. The building’s closure will allow for time to install new features, including wall to wall screens on the fourth floor and one very large – 75’ by 50’ – TV in the lobby.

Currently, students eating on the fourth floor of the UC only have approximately 20 different screens to choose from.

“I like that I’m able to simultaneously watch ‘Taken 2’ and ‘Paw Patrol,’” said freshman political

science major Abigail Buchholz. “But what about ‘Taken 3’? What about the ‘Paw Patrol’ movie?”

Junior history and education major Jack Hagn agreed.

“If you can see out the window, you’re not doing it right,” he said, referring to the copious amounts of empty, TV-less space in the dining hall.

The dining hall on the fourth floor, as well as Qdoba, Jamba Juice and Li’l Joe’s, will be replaced by the Puerto Rican food truck and the nearby McDonald’s, which is now taking Eagle One. Blackstone, The Underground and the dining options at Eagle Nest will be unaffected by the change, except that Blackstone will now be offering a drink called “Food ScarciTEA” (a cup of ice with a tiny bit of lukewarm tea).

The UC also currently houses the

UMW honored as mold-free institution

GINNY BIXBY Associate Editor

UMW has been given the prestigious honor of being declared a mold-free campus by the National Collegiate Association for Health and Safety. This award acknowledges the school’s recent strides to keep residence halls completely devoid of fungus.

President Troy Paino accepted the honor along with representatives from the Office of Residence Life and Housing.

“I am proud of ResLife for their strides to decrease mold related complaints,” said Paino. “ResLife always works so hard to eradicate mold. They are so efficient and really do care about the health of students.”

All Resident Assistants were unavailable for comment due to fear of retribution from the Office of Residence Life.

As part of the award, the University received a one million dollar grant designated for the construction of residence halls, all of which will be required to be wheelchair inaccessible and not in compliance with Americans with Disabilities Act (ADA).

Students agreed that UMW does not, nor has it ever, had a mold problem.

“UMW Residence Life ...[redacted] does not …[redacted] have ...[redacted] mold,” said sophomore political science and communication major Kate Seltzer.

Arrington Hall received a special seal of distinction for never having a single mold related work order filed in its 26 year existence. This is an honor rarely endowed by the organization.

“When I lived in Arrington, I ...[redacted] was ...[redacted] happy

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and healthy,” said junior English and communications major Meaghan McIntyre.

However, not all students were so thrilled about the honor, or the University’s recent actions to eliminate mold from all buildings.

“I kind of liked the mold,” said Lucas Burkholder, junior political science major. “I will miss it. I liked the imminent threat of death and permanent lung damage.”

“Mold is embedded within the UMW culture, and there should be mold set up in freshman dorms,” said junior history and education major Jack Hagn. “Small amounts, but enough to bring the freshmen closer together in a shared community.”

“Back where I’m from, we don’t even have internet. A little mold never killed anybody. Rub some dirt on it and keep on walking,” said Dinwiddie County native Grace Winfield, junior communication and digital studies major.

The University’s former nickname, the “University of Moldy Walls”, will now prove obsolete.

“I feel like UMW students are going to lose out on living on the edge now that the University is taking mold so seriously,” said Burkholder. “I feel bad for the students who are going to miss out on a key part of the Mary Wash experience.”

“Mold is as quintessentially UMW as Devil Goat Day,” said Hagn. “I hope the University will return to its promold stance. They are just doing this for the money, as always, rather than the well-being of the students.”

This story is a part of our April Fool’s edition and is intended to be satirical in nature. All information or quotations are made up and not to be taken seriously.

James Farmer Multicultural Center; the Center for Honor, Leadership and Service; Student, Activities and Engagement; and Chandler Ballroom.

President Paino seemed confused about the existence of the JFMC in the UC. He had no comment about the Center’s possible relocation.

Students were disappointed by the closure of the UC, which was one of the few remaining buildings on campus with no early morning construction.

“I love the food at the dining hall,” said junior English and American studies major Ginny Bixby. “Except for the wilted salad, the lack of seasoning, and the super limited vegetarian options. Wait, maybe I don’t love the food at the dining hall.”

Students also voiced concerns over the loss of event space provided by Chandler Ballroom.

“Chandler Ballroom will be so missed!” said junior political science major Lucas Burkholder. “Glow Zone freshman year was the highlight of my college experience. And fall formal!

I loved doing the Cha Cha Slide for eight minutes straight. Some of my most formative memories occurred in Chandler.”

School officials assured students that school dances and other events would continue to be held, just in one of the several abandoned residence halls. Should those residence halls be “condemned” and “unfit for human life,” students will simply dance quietly and alone in their respective rooms.

This story is a part of our April Fool’s edition and is intended to be satirical in nature. All information or quotations are made up and not to be taken seriously.

The UC is no longer offering chicken dishes, including wings and chicken nuggets.

Wing and nug nights cancelled

LAUREN CLOSS Editor-in-Chief

On April 1, Campus Dining announced that the University Center dining hall will no longer offer popular chicken dishes such as wings on Thursdays and Friday nug nights. This decision comes after flyers were passed out on campus featuring baby chickens wearing tiny hats.

These meals, which have remained consistent for decades, have become a staple and weekly tradition for many students.

“I actually only eat chicken, so wings and nugs are some of the only consistent options for me at the UC,” said Meaghan McIntyre, a junior communication and digital studies major. “I go to the dining hall every Thursday and Friday to get them, and have for years now.”

Some students support the decision, pointing out that in addition to saving the hat-sporting chickens, the decision alleviates other environmental and budgetary concerns.

“We waste so much energy and land by raising chickens in a humane way,” said Kate Seltzer, a sophomore political science and communication and digital studies double major. “I say we either grow the meat in a lab or just eat the grains the chickens would have eaten. You can feed a lot more people

that way and save a lot of money.”

With hundreds of visitors to the dining hall for each meal, Chef’s Fare goes through hundreds of chickens every Thursday lunch and Friday dinner alone.

Other students are upset about the discontinuation of the meals that have become UMW traditions.

“They already took away our turkey quesadillas, any now they’re coming for my nugs? Oh hell, naw,” said Grace Winfield, a junior mass communication and digital studies major.

Students that have previously petitioned to get a Chick-fil-A on campus are disappointed in the decision and worry about the likelihood of reaching their goal.

“If they’re canceling wings and nugs because of tiny hats, I’m worried,” said Lucas Burkholder, a junior political science major. “I mean, everyone I know would love a Chickfil-A on campus, but this doesn’t look like a good sign. Maybe we should pass out photos of baby cows in fedoras to encourage people to ‘eat mor chikin.’”

This story is a part of our April Fool’s edition and is intended to be satirical in nature. All information or quotations are made up and not to be taken seriously.

AVENGERS ENDGAME

BANNED BUTTER

SLIP ‘N SLIDE

LIFE | 9

VIEWPOINTS | 5

SPORTS | 3

Early access review of Avengers Endgame.

Eagle

UC sticks to no butter rule.

UMW Athletics’ odd new varsity team.

THE

BLUE &GRAY

THE UNIVERSITY OF MARY WASHINGTON STUDENT NEWSPAPER

April 4, 2019

VOLUME 92 | ISSUE 21

PRESS

SERVING THE COMMUNITY SINCE

1922

Conservation biology major available fall 2019

Joshua Staley Senior Writer

Eight new pianos joined the UMW music deprtment.

Emilia Michalkiewicz / The Blue & Gray Press

UMW receives new pianos for first time since 1991 for Proposals,” said Dr. Brooks Kuykendall, chair of the music department.

Eight new pianos are now housed “We lay out what the problem is, in the UMW music department, an that we need to upgrade most of our addition that had not been made pianos, and we advertised that we will since 1991.The arrival of the new take proposals for how to replace those. instruments was We ended up made possible by with “Most of the pianos that going a collaboration Kawai. They with Kawai we had before were will allow us to America pianos for honestly fairly terrible.” use Corporation. free, and every Kawai delivered year for the two grand pianos, next five years -John Kurtzke four upright they will do a pianos, one sale on campus digital piano and to anybody in one hybrid piano. the area.”

“Since we are a state school, we In exchange for have to do what is called a Request allowing Kawai to host •PIANOS | 11

Ashleigh Grim Staff Writer

UMW has approved a new conservation biology major that will be available for declaration beginning the fall semester of 2019.

Conservation biology will give a more personalized experience to students interested in careers in the protection and recovery of endangered species, habitat conservation, conservation biology education, and fisheries and wildlife management. It is also designed to provide graduating students a competitive edge when applying for graduate programs in the field.

“We decided it was time to introduce a program like this given our current strengths,” said Dr. Andrew Dolby, professor of biology. “We’ve had a couple of years now to run our conservation biology class that Dr. Griffith teaches and enrollment has been strong.”

The major will consist of a minimum of 40 required credits, all of which are standard core, biodiversity, ecology, political, economic and cultural perspective courses that are already offered within the biology program.

“In my animal behavior class, conservation is a major theme,”

Dolby said. “These species that we talk about are becoming more and more endangered, so the urgency is increasing. Student interest and demand in conservation has been increasing, as well, I think.”

This program will emphasize skills necessary for students to succeed in the conservation biology field. Since Geographic Information Systems (GIS) technology is becoming an increasingly popular tool, it has become highly marketable for •NEW MAJOR | 11

“Student interest and demand in conservation has been increasing.”

-Dr. Andrew Dolby

Ivory Ball / The Blue & Gray Press Plants flourishing inside the sunny greenhouse of the Jepson Science Center.

Potential women’s and gender studies club to form on campus ALICEN HACKNEY Senior Writer

far is extremely encouraging, and makes me even more certain that this is something that the women’s The women’s and gender studies and gender studies department could (WGST) major has been disconnected greatly benefit from.” in its interdisciplinary setup since Through the women’s and its beginning. Sophomore WGST gender studies club, Parker hopes to and English creative writing double implement her own ideas for major Sarah Parker is looking the club such as tabling to to change that by starting awareness to different a foundational club for the “Really, my intention for starting this club is to create a space where raise issues, offering voter department.

WGST majors can find a sense of community, be more involved with registration and petitioning, “Because the women’s also being open to the and gender studies major the WGST program, and have more opportunities to explore their while ideas and project proposals of is an almost entirely interests in a variety of ways outside of specific coursework.” those whole join. interdisciplinary major, “Right now, I see this students choose courses from club becoming a networking all other departments at UMW -Sarah Parker opportunity for WGST that are WGST designated to students and faculty, and fulfill their requirements,” said I definitely didn’t expect this much a way to promote the program on community, be more involved with Parker. support for the club so soon, but I’m campus and engage in activism on the WGST program, and have more “This gives me a broader range of opportunities to explore their interests very excited about getting this club up campus and in the Fredericksburg disciplines to explore in connection in a variety of ways outside of specific and running as soon as possible,” said community,” said Parker. “One of my to women’s and gender studies, but coursework,” said Parker.

Parker. primary ideas for what this club will unfortunately the interdisciplinary become is a space Leading up to the interest meeting “The support I have gotten thus •WGST | 10 nature of the WGST major has

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prevented me from connecting with other WGST majors in the ways that students in more centrally-focused majors are able to.”

“Really, my intention for starting this club is to create a space where WGST majors can find a sense of

POWER PLANT

Explore the old power plant through photos.

LIFE | 6

on Friday, March 29, Parker had already started receiving support for the club from faculty and students alike.

“I’ve received a number of emails from WGST majors and affiliated faculty who are interested in the club.

SELFISH SERVICE

CAC ATHLETE

VIEWPOINTS | 4

SPORTS | 3

Voluntourists do more harm than good.

Andrewlevich recognized as CAC athlete of the week.

SPORTS

Erin Andrewlevich recognized by CAC for women’s track EKATERINA SAVELYEVA Staff Writer

Last week, UMW junior Erin Andrewlevich was recognized by the CAC as women’s track athlete of the week. The award took place after she finished first in both the 100 meter and 200 meter events, achieving times of 12.56 and 26.35 seconds respectively.

This took place in a competition at Goucher College on Saturday, Mar. 23.

“It is exciting, being named athlete of the week,” said Andrewlevich, who cited the recognition as further motivation for improving as an athlete. Satisfied with her performance and that of the track team, Andrewlevich is determined to maintain the sense of momentum further into the season.

Andrewlevich characterized this season for women’s track as a particularly successful one, stressing the achievements of herself as an individual and the team as a collective.

Multiple factors have played into this strong morale, most notably a change in leadership. “The sprinters got a new coach this past year, which has changed the outlook and performances of the team immensely. Many of my teammates are happy with the improvements they have been making this season. This season has been very exciting for me,” said Andrewlevich, “As well as, I think, the entire team.”

The satisfaction of this improvement is intensified by the fact that Andrewlevich’s bond with her teammates expands beyond the playing field. “I’ve made some of my best friends in college on the team,” she said. “Being on the track team has shaped a lot about my life at UMW.” As a junior, Andrewlevich can

confidently look back on her academic career and feel the impact of this sense of community on her college experience.

Having begun her activity on the team in her freshman year, she’s had an opportunity to see the team grow and UMW Athletics form lasting bonds Andrewlevich got first in both the 100 and 200 meter. with her teammates. compete in nationals again.”

Besides the friendships that the team Following the events of this spring, provides, Andrewlevich is passionate Andrewlevich will have to balance her about track as an activity. “I’ve been able commitment to the track team against the to continue doing a sport that I care a demands of her upcoming senior year. lot about. I don’t know what I would be “I plan to graduate next spring,” said doing with my life if I didn’t have track,” Andrewlevich, “and hopefully explore said Andrewlevich. options along the way in order to figure As for her personal goals, out what I want to do post grad.”

Andrewlevich is satisfied with her As something that has consistently athletic performance as an individual been a major focus of her time, however, within the team. “I have personally been the track team will remain a big priority really happy with where I am at this in her life. In the wake of this season’s point of the season,” said Andrewlevich. improvements, the next step is to build “My times are where I want them to be, on them in the following year. and are on the right track to improving Andrewlevich’s outlook towards the rest of the season.” her chosen sport is characterized by a Andrewlevich’s determined drive consistent sense of forward-thinking towards self-improvement has a history energy. The achievements of the track of paying off. In May of 2018, directly team as a whole and her own individual following the end of her sophomore year, recognition ultimately lead into the she competed in the NCAA national same drive: to take pride in one’s outdoor track & field championships for accomplishments, and to take them to the Division III. next level.

Her ultimate goal for the rest of “Getting recognition like this for the the season is consistent with her hard work I put in is always a surprise,” determination to only work harder in the she said on the subject of her CAC wake of her team’s success and her CAC recognition, “but it helps to motivate me recognition. “My goal is to qualify and in continuing to work hard.”

Athletics announces new varsity slip ’n slide team JACK HAGN Sports Editor

After much deliberation UMW athletics has decided to add a semi varsity slip ‘n slide team after pressure from President Paino who formed fond sliding memories during the Slide FXBG event in early September.

Athletes for this sport would pay dues like a club but would have access to the varsity weight room to help hone their sliding skills. They are currently trying to find time in the preseason to have a team full body shave in order to increase penguin-like slipperiness.

The team has already obtained some corporate and local sponsors such as Dove who will be providing the soap for the team. In return the slipper’s will have the Dove logo shaved into the sides of their heads. The local sponsor is Hair Cuttery who will be providing the shaving instruments and services throughout the season, and will have

their logo and brand name featured on the sliding uniforms.

The team will be practicing on Brompton hill for four hours every other day under the coaching of Troy Paino, who has been researching the highly competitive sport. He has recently obtained a coaching license and will be starting the team at the DIII level.

Paino said he became enthralled with the sport when he was able to participate in it early in the academic year.

Paino also reinforced his commitment that he wanted to grow the sport at UMW and has his sights set on becoming a DI school in slip ’n slide.

The CAC was hesitant at first but they have agreed to allow the UMW team to compete along with the DIII slip ’n slide teams from other universities.

Slip ’n slide as a sport is controversial due to safety concerns for both athletes and spectators, but it has gained popularity in the last several years

UMW will start as a DIII team and compete in the CAC.

Fredericksburg Today

anyway.

“I have been hit before by a rogue slipper a couple years ago and I got a bad concussion, I hope that these athletes have an adequate practice space so safety is highly encouraged,” said Kate Seltzer a slip ’n slide enthusiast who has been following the professional scene for a while.

The upcoming season will kick off in the early fall as the best sprint sliding is done when the air is slightly colder. The second part of the teams season will be in the spring as the warmer temperatures allow for more distance events.

Sports enthusiast Grace Winfield shared her thoughts on the upcoming addition. “I am so excited about the slip ’n slide team because I think this will make up for UMW’s lack of a football team. Both sports are so competitive.”

The new head coach Paino is hoping that this new sport will bring in more international students from Switzerland as the slip ’n slide sport has been a mainstay in the local sporting communities. In order to reach this goal, he has hired a former Swedish olympian as an assistant coach.

With high hopes the UMW community looks to a successful first season during the next school year. The bookstore will be selling Eagle Slipper merchandise at the end of the semester.

This story is a part of our April Fool’s edition and is intended to be satirical in nature. All information or quotations are made up and not to be taken seriously.

University of Mary Washington Sports Schedule

Men’s Lacrosse (6-6)

Mar. 20 L vs. Roanoke (20-8) Mar. 23 W vs. St. Vincent (15-5) Mar. 30 L vs. Salisbury (15-3) Apr. 6 @ Chistopher Newport Apr. 10 vs. Southern Virginia

Women’s Lacrosse (9-2) Mar. 20 W @ Stevenson (8-6) Mar. 23 W vs. Meredith (16-12) Mar. 30 L @ Salisbury (11-7) Apr. 6 vs. Chistopher Newport Apr. 9 @ Southern Virginia

Baseball (7-12)

Mar. 29 L @ Christopher Newport (10-1) Mar. 30 L @ Christopher Newport (13-6) Apr. 3 W @ Averett (8-0) Apr. 5 vs. Frostburg St. Apr. 6 vs. Frostburg St.

Softball (13-12)

Mar. 27 W @ East. Mennonite (7-2) Mar. 30 W @ York (Pa.) (8-1) Apr. 3 W vs. Salisbury (3-1) Apr. 6 vs. Penn St.-Harrisburg Apr. 9 @ N.C. Wesleyan

Men’s Tennis (13-3)

Mar. 23 W vs. Southern Virgina (6-3) Mar. 24 W vs. Frostburg St. (9-0) Mar. 30 W @ Christopher Newport (8-1) Apr. 5 @ York (Pa.) Apr. 6 @ Carnegie Mellon

Women’s Tennis (12-2)

Mar. 23 W vs. Southern Virgina (9-0) Mar. 24 W vs. Frostburg St. (9-0) Mar. 30 W @ Christopher Newport (8-1) Apr. 5 @ York (Pa.) Apr. 6 @ Carnegie Mellon

Full Schedule not listed above.

Most recent games included.

Bold indicates home game.

3

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Voluntourism: selfless service or destructive intrusiton?

amongst college students. If you’re considering volunteering abroad in the future, consider looking into alternatives You’re scrolling through your that won’t harm the people you intend to Facebook timeline to see your friend help. just uploaded a photo. She’s pictured Probably the most common form with an underprivileged minority child of voluntourism involves construction. (whom she hasn’t actually spoken Unfortunately, most of these projects to since she got back home) she met are based on what the voluntourists while volunteering abroad. In a lengthy want to do, rather than what the host post she describes her life-changing communities want or need. For example, experience, noting, of course, how voluntourists prefer to build new things fortunate she is to have made such a instead of maintaining old structures, positive impact on the children’s lives even if the host communities already during her two-week stay. have perfectly serviceable ones that are We all know a person who has only in need of maintenance. According volunteered abroad or is planning to in to Georgetown University’s Beeck the future. Maybe you are that person.

Center, despite the fact that many service And if you are, I’m sure you’re proud of trips involve building public restrooms in your experience. After all, you helped underprivileged rural communities, they people who needed help but couldn’t are often abandoned because there are help themselves, right? no tourists willing to maintain them after This is known as voluntourism. they are built.

Voluntourism is a form of tourism The unfortunate reality is that the in which travelers participate in vast majority of voluntourists are never volunteer work, typically for a charity. part of projects that succeed in the long It is an increasingly popular form of term. Sometimes this is because they just international travel, according to Visit. aren’t familiar enough with their host org. With proper supervision and communities to understand their needs. training, volunteering abroad can have a For example, there was an infamous positive impact. Unfortunately, the vast project in Haiti where voluntourists built majority of voluntourists are unaware of houses for needy, uneducated families, just how much harm they cause when but these families still had to beg in the they try to help. streets to support themselves long after The hard truth is that some people the voluntourists left. focus mostly on how their trips affected Construction projects are also much them rather than the communities they safer and much more helpful when are serving, and it is especially common qualified professionals are the ones doing them. However, the qualified professionals have their jobs stolen by volunteers who do it for free.

Volunteers are not qualified to build houses or dig wells, so their work is often shoddy or unsafe. In fact, most voluntourists are not qualified for any of the work that they do.

This goes United Nations International Children’s Emergency Fund.

UNICEF USA from unsafe to

AISLING MCNARY-HICKEY Contributing Writer

life-threatening when they decide that they are qualified to provide medical care to underprivileged people in foreign countries. Projects Abroad, a voluntourism company, actually published testimonials from volunteers reminiscing about performing medical procedures without a license, which is just as dangerous as it is illegal.

Projects Abroad and Gap Medics both have medical voluntourist programs specifically geared toward teens and high school students. Would you trust a wealthy 16-year-old from the suburbs to treat your malaria?

Anthropologist Noelle Sullivan and her team observed medical voluntourists as part of a study for the Scientific American Blog Network, and what they uncovered was shocking. Most of the surveyed volunteers had delivered at least one baby, even though none of them were licensed to do so. They rarely stayed long enough to see if their patients recovered from, or even survived, the procedures they performed, and consistently overestimated their positive impact.

One especially disturbing case was that of a young woman who told Sullivan that she was a medical student, but frequently violated obstetrics best practices while delivering children unsupervised, endangering the lives of both the mothers and the babies. When she left after her vacation was over, Sullivan and her team learned that she was an undergrad who had no idea how much danger she had put her patients in. Who knows how many infant deaths she caused, for which she will face no repercussions?

These aren’t the only children who suffer due to the ignorance and irresponsibility of volunteers. Lots of people volunteer as teachers for children--but very few of them have any qualifications in education. When Sarah Pycroft, a qualified English teacher and coach, volunteered abroad through a nonprofit voluntourist company, she was appalled at the lack of appropriate training for volunteers and just how little the children were actually learning.

There was no curriculum whatsoever and the kids just relearned extremely

basic material with every fresh batch of volunteers. Unfortunately, this is the norm, not the exception.

Surely the cardinal sin in the voluntourism industry is the rise of “orphanage tourism,” a practice where children in orphanages are forced to perform for tourists, advertise their orphanage or even beg on the streets so tourists will give the institutions more money.

Both UNICEF and Save the Children don’t want people supporting orphanages because they are much worse for children, both psychologically and developmentally, than community-based programs like foster care, which have succeeded in countries of all income levels. After the Nepal earthquake in 2015, UNICEF released a statement asking volunteers to reconsider their impact, saying, “Without realizing it, such support may be indirectly harming children.” The children feel like they are continuously being abandoned by volunteers, who bond with them and then leave after a week or two, which sometimes triggers memories of their separation from their parents, whether or not they are actually orphans. Several Australian politicians are pushing to outlaw orphanage visits in different countries altogether.

Orphanages are also breeding grounds for physical and sexual abuse.

Volunteers themselves need minimal or no background checks to get unlimited access to vulnerable, love-starved children in third-world countries.

The children have virtually no one to advocate for them if someone exploits them, especially if that person is a rich tourist from a more powerful nation.

If you plan on volunteering abroad, you can do a lot more good by just donating the money you planned to spend on your vacation to a reputable charity. No matter how much good you think you can do, the professionals and host communities themselves can do it better, so don’t make it harder for them.

Volunteer in your own community where your efforts won’t go to waste. Wouldn’t you rather know for a fact that you’re making a difference?

Staff Ed: Blue and Gray Press continues tradition with April Fool’s publication

By THE BLUE AND GRAY PRESS EDITORIAL BOARD Once a year, the editorial staff of The Blue & Gray Press releases an April Fool’s edition of the paper to the University of Mary Washington community. This has been a longstanding tradition that the editorial team has continued over the years.

While we at the Blue & Gray strive for an ethical, truthful and professional student newspaper, we believe it is important to express ourselves through satire, humor and exaggeration in this issue.

While these articles are published, they are not to be taken seriously or in any way as an accurate depiction of any aspects of our campus community.

The April Fool’s edition was originally designed to poke fun at organizations, events, people, landmarks and other aspects of our campus. It is our hope that we will provide our readers with a few laughs.

Every April Fool’s article contains a disclosure at the bottom of the article online for reference and at the bottom of each April Fool’s article in print. We hope that all can join us in celebrating the gift of laughter conveyed through such satirical articles.

Thank you and we hope you enjoy.

The 2018-19 Blue & Gray Press editorial staff.

Kelly Emmrich / The Blue & Gray Press

Thursday April 2019 Thursday, January 21, 4, 2015

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Editor: Grace Winfield | blueandgray.views@gmail.com

Affluence’s influence on college admissions

CHLOE MARTIN Staff Writer

It’s no secret that the college admission process has gotten increasingly competitive and, as a result, more complex. No longer can the soonto-be college student simply fill out the application and essay supplement for their dream schools. Instead, they must put themselves one step ahead of all the other applicants, somehow making each of themselves stand out amongst the crowd, some even going to greater - or illegal - lengths to ensure their acceptance.

A recent admissions scandal, involving Full House’s Lori Loughlin and other public figures, surfaced on March 12 and became a focus of the nation’s attention. The investigation, code-named “Varsity Blues,” found that William Rick Singer was running the operation under a for-profit Newport Beach college admissions scandal since 2011. According to Forbes, he had over 700 clients, many parents paying $200,000 and up to $65 million to have their children admitted. Singer faces up to sixty-five years in jail and a $1.25 million fine after pleading guilty to racketeering conspiracy, money laundering, tax conspiracy and obstruction of justice.

The investigation has resulted in 50 people being criminally charged, as well as several outcries of celebrity privilege.

While I have lost some amount of faith in the validity of the college admissions process, there were many others whose faith was lost long ago.

Freshman Kendall Resnick said, “I wasn’t surprised. I kind of just assumed that when you were rich and famous, it was easier to get into college.”

To many, the college admissions

process was flawed on a much smaller scale long before Hollywood got involved.

The bribery scandal is a major example of just how valuable, or even crucial, the college degree is in today’s society. Aside from those affluent enough to pay not only for their child’s education but also for the assurance of their admission, you may wonder how your average college applicant competes. First off, there is the type of students who take the honorable yet pressure-filled route of joining a wide array of clubs, sports and other extracurricular activities to show their well-roundedness, trying to seem as unique as possible. Alongside the many hats they wear, these students work even harder to maintain high grades to let colleges know they’re not just a high school student, but a multi-tasker.

Freshman Katia Savelyeva admitted she too experienced societal pressures when applying to colleges and universities. “I think among my classmates, definitely, because if you move in any kind of ‘AP’ class-rank, that’s all that anyone is going to talk about. You’re going to feel the pressure to impress everyone, regardless of how much stake you yourself put into the college admissions process.”

Savelyeva also admitted she could see how people could commit such fraud as the college admission scandal. “I think that some people, even people at my own high school, are so invested in ‘the brand,’ of looking at the high level schools, which means that they were willing to do a lot more that they would do for it, that I just wasn’t willing to do.

Even if what they were doing wasn’t necessarily illegal, they were investing a lot of money into their essays and applications instead of the work, which is just crazy to me.”

There are applicants who choose the tactic of having someone else—a counselor, parent or a paid professional— revise, edit and in some cases, even write their answers and essays for them. These actions are normally taken by concerned parents. Consequently, having a large amount of assistance when William Rick Singer. college application time rolls around is becoming the standard.

Not only is this unethical, but it is doing those applicants a disservice and allowing an unfair advantage against others.

While status and influence have always been factors affecting applicants and admissions, something as typical as filling out their own college applications has become difficult for students of families without the affluence so wrongly used by people such as those exposed in the scandal. This only adds on to the long list of stressors students face to hold-up against other applicants, including multitasking, money, time and even missing out on valuable moments of the teenage experience, all in hopes of being viewed as a top prospect.

The pressure put on both the student and the parent for this collegiate success - success defined by the institutions and society, not by the students - is far worse than it has ever been and will likely get worse in the years to come. At this point in time, even getting a “standard” Bachelor’s Degree isn’t enough. There is a certain societal and economic expectation to go beyond what the

Forbes.com

average academic is achieving in order to get a higher paying job, and therefore be somehow better.

With the push for every student to get into these statistically “great” universities and career paths, and the resulting push towards unethical practices, the admissions process is only becoming more complicated. If we continue on this path, then we will get stuck in a vicious cycle of the students who are able to afford the necessary resources to bolster their applications to be considered the only “real” contenders.

This takes away academic drive and diversity, therefore reducing the overall quality of the once top-tier schools.

In light of the scandal, a few concerns come to mind. If academic integrity is lost, then what do we have left? What, then, is the point of higher education?

To me, the only point is to better yourself. Not to be better than the rest, but to achieve your own personal goals and gain the academic experience of a lifetime. It is essential that society is made aware of these challenges, so that secondary schooling systems may fight for reevaluation of the admissions process before it is too far gone.

Dining hall ignores student demands for butter GRACE WINFIELD Viewpoints Editor

I’m standing in the dinner line at the UC. The Chef’s Fare line, between the grill station and the desert bar that’s always the longest. I walk up, plate in hand to grab the typical meat-andpotatoes meal and take a seat in the booths. I’m not surprised to find the potatoes are lukewarm and are flakier than they are fluffy. Ten shakes of salt and pepper give it the hint of taste.

In a moment of desperation, I walk over to the spread bar, scoop in hand, asking myself if this is who I’ve really become—a substitute butter user.

Speculation has begun to spread as students notice cryptic messages continue to surface on boards and posters around the University Center from what appears to be a mysterious butter advocate. Today, I will put your suspicions to rest. I am the mystery writer, and I assure you, we deserve better.

We deserve butter.

The University Center advertises that diners can enjoy “mouth-watering pastries baked before your eyes at the Magic Oven or make your own Belgian waffle at “Graze” – our fruit, breads, and spreads bar.” The spread bar that features several cream cheeses and a huge tub of margarine, amongst other things. Yet one

constant still remains: no sweet cream butter.

While the UC doesn’t offer butter, they do, however, offer margarine.

Margarine is a non-dairy product created as a substitute for butter. While originally made from animal fat in the 1800s, today the primary ingredients include vegetable oil, water, salt and emulsifiers.

Julia Child would be disgusted.

Some students have found difficulty coping with the app “I’ve aimlessly walked around the UC for almost an hour before, searching for butter to spread on my bagel,” said political science and mass communication double major Kate Seltzer. “I’m just not a cream cheese kind of person.”

Margarine can be described as a “vegan, non-dairy spread,” and that’s about the only good reason to offer it—for vegans. One could make the argument that it’s in everyone’s best interest to cook food without butter, though my Southern pallet would respectfully decline. When it comes to choosing the “healthier” route between the two, it really comes down to trans fats (margarine) or saturated fats (butter).

Trans fats raise bad cholesterol while lowering good cholesterol, high-density lipoprotein (hdl). Saturated fats raise bad cholesterol—less than trans fats—and do not affect hdl. Hmm. I asked Lucas Burkholder, UC goer

and political science major, for his perspective.

“I’m an American, of course I love butter,” said Lucas Burkholder.

English and American studies double major Ginny Bixby has actively protested the university’s decision. “I don’t go to the UC dining hall, and I refuse too,” said Bixby.

A few brave dining employees, who wish to remain anonymous, came forward to discuss the butter ban.

“We can’t use it, like at all,” one employee said. “I remember when I first started working at the UC, I asked where the butter was and all of the line cooks looked at me like I was crazy, it’s like everyone was too scared to answer me.”

Another offered, “Why do you think the alfredo sauce is so runny? No whipping cream, no butter, just oils…

I started bringing my own butter to use on my lunch break, but I keep it in a Country Crock container.”

Why do they deprive us of the creamy-colored soft spread with an aroma reminiscent of freshly baked cornbread, and instead shove an aggressively yellow block of hardened oil that too-closely resembles the food found in a children’s play kitchen down our throats?

The blatant hatred toward butter must come to an end. We all have a right to rich, smooth fatty goodness.

End the butter ban, forgo with the cheap imitation, restore happiness to the dining hall and liberate the great flavor-maker.

Grip your butter knives with one fist and raise your other high. Our food will no longer succumb to the feelings of vulnerability and butter deprivation. We must demand for a change.

I’ll just say it: I can’t believe there’s not butter.

This story is a part of our April Fool’s edition and is intended to be satirical in nature. All information or quotations are made up and not to be taken seriously.

Pinterest.com

5

LIFE

Editor: Lucas Burkholder blueandgray.life@gmail.com

Historic Power Plant repurposed as restaurant and educational facility

Right and Above: Familiar metal power pillars align with Caroline Street on the side of the plant.

Photo Story by Emily Sanborn The Virginia Hydro-Electric Power Plant was built in 1902 and is located on Caroline Street in downtown Fredericksburg. Local developer Ed Whelan bought the historic landmark back in 2014 and has proposed plans to transform it into a UMW friendly atmosphere- including a rooftop restaurant, a brewhouse and an educational and environmental facility. The plans to add an educational center in the Power Plant was inspired by UMW alumni from the science departments, and would allow students to study the Rappahannock River water quality and other issues relating to the river. This will allow the Fredericksburg community to grow overall and allow students to step outside of campus and learn about their city through a historic landmark.

Left: The back of the Power Plant falls directly onto the Rappahannock River which has a lagoon. This is also where the UMW students would conduct studies and experiments on the river and the property.

Above: The building has been overgrown for years which has resulted in a lot of vandalism and trespassing. It has also become a landmark for graffiti and artwork.

Above: The inside of the Power Plant, where its character and aesthetic thrive through various forms of graffiti.

Thursday, April 4, 2019

LIFE

Popular campus locations showcased durning spring, fall and winter

Spring

Fall

Photo Story by Sophie Ahava UMW’s beauty shines through every season. The series of pictures showcases different spots on campus during the middle of fall, winter and spring. UMW is a photographer’s dream in regard to scenery. The little secluded area directly across the Simpson Library is lined with trees that change with the seasons.

Students and faculty can sit on the benches and admire the beauty going on around them. Right in front of Woodard, you do not only see time pass by the big “Mary Washington College” clock, but you see the seasons pass as well.

Winter

Spring

Winter

Fall

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Weekend Events Thursday • Student Art Association Art Sale @ UC Patio, 10 a.m. - 5 p.m.

• Islamic Cultural Celebration Banquet with speaker Salaam Bhatti @ Chandler Ballroom, 7 p.m.

• Great Lives: The Last of the Romanovs @ Dodd Auditorium, 7:30 p.m.

• Mass Under the Lights @ Intramural Fields, 8 p.m.

Friday

• Student Art Association Art Sale @ UC Patio, 10 a.m. - 5 p.m.

• International Dance Night @ Chandler Ballroom, 8 - 11 p.m.

@theBlueandGray The Blue & Gray Press

theblueandgraypress

DEFENSE AND

STRATEGIC

STUDIES G R A D U AT E P R O G R A M

MASTER’S DEGREE AND GRADUATE CERTIFICATES OFFERED

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WASHINGTON, DC A R E A CA M PUS

Exciting internship opportunities and global alumni network Evening seated or online courses

Call 703-218-3565 or email DSS1@missouristate.edu | dss.missouristate.edu

LIFE

“Avengers: Endgame” boasts biggest crossover yet in MCU

that clearly doesn’t exist in real life. That scene completely ruined my immersion in this movie that’s supposed to be about As we all know, the last five years’ a purple man who kills half the universe worth of Marvel Cinematic Universe by snapping his fingers. Nanomachines?

(MCU) films have been complete Really? garbage, especially the travesty that was Because of this, I was very worried “Avengers: Infinity War.” The movie about “Avengers: Endgame,” the sequel had a ton of action scenes that could to “Infinity War” which was released have made it a great film, but it focused April 1. However, after seeing the movie way too much on pointless and stupid at its premiere, I can confidently say that things like tension, world-building and “Endgame” is by far the greatest Marvel character interaction. I’m not kidding, movie and definitely the greatest film ever made. there are literally entire scenes where The film begins with Iron Man and the characters stop fighting so they can Nebula stranded in space, just like we do things like talk to each other. Who saw them in the trailer. Suddenly, their wants to see that in a superhero film? ship bumps into the Queen Alien from Then there are all the movie’s ridiculous “Aliens,” who is still floating around plot holes, like how Iron Man has a suit in space after getting sucked out of the made of nanomachines, a technology Sulaco’s airlock at the end of that film. Fans of “Infinity War” will recall that this epic confrontation was foreshadowed when SpiderMan made his reference to “Aliens” in the middle of the movie. Eventually, the Queen gives the ship a good hard smack with her tail, setting it back on course to Earth. However, the Queen’s tail gets snagged on the side of the ship, causing her to get pulled along for the ride.

They arrive back on Earth, where the other Avengers are preparing for an all-out attack on Thanos. Ant-Man has gathered an army of monsters, giant robots and other characters from other franchises, and together, they plan to pull a sick prank “Avengers: Endgame” has received the highest Rotten Tomato on Thanos as payback for scores ever.

Cnet HARRY FISHER Online Editor

murdering all their friends. Tony, Nebula and the Alien Queen decide to tag along, and together, all the Avengers prepare for their final attack on Muscular Grimace.

We then cut to Thanos’s farm, where he’s planting some Thanos Carrots right next to his Thanos Potatoes, when suddenly the Avengers show up and bombard his house with toilet paper with the Avengers theme blaring at max volume. They then charge into battle against an enraged Thanos.

Half of the main characters are wiped out by the Power Stone before they can even reach Thanos. The Power Rangers are mind-controlled by the Mind Stone and forced to fight Bugs Bunny and Mickey Mouse. Thanos uses the Time Stone to turn the T-rex from “Jurassic Park” into a fossil. He uses the Space Stone to teleport the Terminator into a vat of molten metal, where he slowly melts while giving a thumbs up. He uses the Soul Stone to turn the Blue Eyes White Dragons to his side before using the Reality Stone to fuse them together into Blue Eyes Ultimate Dragon, which engages in battle with Godzilla.

Meanwhile, Thanos hops into his Thanos car and cranks “Deja Vu” while chasing around Homer Simpson, and he unleashes his Thanos Dinosaur, Barney.

While he’s distracted, Captain Marvel sneaks into his Thanos house and steals some Thanos Cheese from his Thanos fridge.

The Power Rangers form the Megazord, but Godzilla gives it a light shove, causing it to trip over Jaws as he flops around on the hot, dry ground, and collapse onto the Blue Eyes Ultimate Dragon, knocking him out instantly.

King Kong snaps Barney’s jaw in half. Meanwhile, while Thanos is busy gloating, Ant-Man shrinks to ant size, gets swallowed, and grows to his giant size to instantly blow up Thanos from the inside. Venom then eats his Thanos Brain.

With the battle over, Iron Man takes the Infinity Gauntlet and uses its power to resurrect all the characters who died.

The Avengers theme plays one last time, and everything is completely perfect and happy, with absolutely no significant changes made to the overall universeexactly how it should be, with no boring character development impeding the action. This film is the single greatest work of art mankind has ever produced, barnone.

As if this wasn’t enough, the next six post-credit scenes showed Godzilla stealing the Infinity Gauntlet and using it to erase the MCU from existence, so his new film will have no competition when it comes out in May. The only Avenger who escapes Godzilla’s decimation is Spider-Man, who is able to transform into Spooder-Man and hide in the internet in the nick of time. This can only mean one thing- when “Godzilla: King of the Monsters” comes out in May, Spooder-Man will try to take back the Gauntlet from Godzilla and save his friends. This will no doubt be an important plot point in “Spider-Man: Far From Home” as well. Despite how amazing this movie was, the most epic showdown of all time is yet to come…

This story is a part of our April Fool’s edition and is intended to be satirical in nature. All information or quotations are made up and not to be taken seriously.

Student and alumni band prepares to release second album ALLISON TOVEY Staff Writer

Made up of UMW students and alum, So Badly is a four-piece band consisting of bassist and singer Grace Howie, guitarist and singer Sarah Kinzer, guitarist Kevin Coleman and drummer Daniel Drees. The group, who describes their sound as “dusty basement indie fuzz,” released their first EP “Towards Heaven Still” in November 2018 with former drummer Annie Frazza and are now working towards producing their first full-length album.

“We’ve been writing new songs, trying to generate enough work to create an album- full length instead of four tracks this time,” Kinzer said, “So that mostly involves, on all our parts, having life experiences at the same time as working on new music. That way, lyrics can come more easily. It’s mostly been, at least for me, focusing on writing new stuff and writing together which is always really fun. You can bring a little chunk of something and people get excited and we’re playing it together at practice, it just comes together really naturally. It’s fun.”

The band came together at UMW when Kinzer and Howie were roommates their junior year. “When I learned that Grace sang, we got together on a weeknight or something and started playing music. We just started with covers or some songs that we like,” Kinzer said. The two began performing covers in their living room and eventually recorded two covers of songs

by The Strokes and Mitski.

“At some point Kevin let us know he wanted to do something musical and we were on board. The three of us, in our UMW apartment living room annoying our downstairs neighbors, were just playing music,” Howie said, “We didn’t really get serious until the next fall. We put out a flyer for a drummer and we had another drummer, Annie, for a while.

After we [Howie, Kinzer, and Frazza] graduated, we wanted to keep playing and Annie decided to go do a program that took her out of state, so then we roped in Daniel.”

Drees, the only current UMW student, joined the band after meeting Howie through Infant Island guitarist and UMW student Alex Rudenshiold who Drees said, “introduced him to the scene.”

“I did not see myself in any band whatsoever except jazz band when I first entered school. It’s a bit surprising that I’m doing this but I’m glad I am. I’m glad I’m here,” said Drees.

The band recorded their EP in three days during dead week, the week before graduation after classes have ended.

“The recording process, we got very lucky, in that I went to a networking event and met some guys and they came to show and said ‘we’d love to record you’. One of them had a connection with Inner Ear in Arlington. It’s a pretty notable recording studio so we were really lucky to be able to record there for a really low cost. It was just a networking miracle,” said Howie.

The EP, “Towards Heaven Still,” consists of four original tracks.

“The writing process in general is

So Badly’s album “Towards Heaven Still” released in November 2018.

really varied in a lot of ways. Sometimes someone will bring a complete song with all the parts, sometimes someone will bring an idea and we’ll come up with lyrics, so it really varies with the writing,” Howie said.

Now, looking towards future releases, So Badly is working towards a more up-beat sound that captures the band’s growth and the addition of Drees.

While their new songs reflect the maturation of the band members, the music also showcases the band’s growing skill level since their beginnings.

“In the way that I’m writing things, I think it’s getting more complex, especially in terms of the bass parts.

When we played our first show, we didn’t have a bassist and I didn’t know how to play bass. I’ve been playing for a little over a year now, so I’m able to do a

Bandcamp

lot more,” Howie said.

“With some things I’m writing now, I’m trying to move a little more away from that because I don’t want to keep writing about the same things over and over. I want to provide more variety and with the way my life is going, with my experiences and what I’m doing, that helps my lyrics to be more different.”

For Kinzer, the music she’s writing for the album is moving away from the more melancholy sound of the EP. She was inspired after a show the band played in New Jersey where a particularly high-energy crowd found a way to jump around to even their slowest songs.

You can find So Badly’s music at sobadly.bandcamp.com and look for upcoming shows at facebook.com/ sobadlyband/.

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NEWS THE

BLUE & GRAY PRESS

MISSION The Blue & Gray Press is published every Thursday in the University Apartments Clubhouse for our university community. The goal of The Blue & Gray Press is to produce high quality and accurate news in a manner compliant with the Society of Professional Journalists ethics code. In its coverage, The Blue & Gray Press strives to highlight the community of the University of Mary Washington, as well as deliver fair and accurate coverage on the issues important to our students.

EDITORS-AT-LARGE EDITOR-IN-CHIEF Lauren Closs

Associate Editor Ginny Bixby

Managing Editor Ryan Brauch

SECTION EDITORS NEWS Meaghan McIntyre Kate Seltzer

VIEWPOINTS Grace Winfield

LIFE Lucas Burkholder

SPORTS Jack Hagn

ONLINE Ronic Ngambwe Harry Fisher

PHOTO Cayley McGuire

FACULTY ADVISOR Sushma Subramanian

Editors: Meaghan McIntyre & Kate Seltzer | blueandgray.news@gmail.com

MyUMW portal shifts from POLICE BEAT OrgSync to Presence MEAGHAN MCINTYRE & Kate Seltzer News Editors

taken notice of the change.

“One of the things that drew me to the school was all of the possibilities MyUMW, the online portal for to be involved in the campus through clubs and organizations has recently clubs and sports,” said junior biology switched over from the previous major Malorie Joseph. “The MyUMW OrgSync platform to Presence. Student site has always been the best place Activities and Engagement (SAE), for me to discover new programs and which oversees MyUMW, played an opportunities and I have really enjoyed integral role in the transition process. using the new website.”

“The main reason the switch The new Presence website was made was because our contract homepage is headed with a large with OrgSync, the previous student background of the University Center engagement software, ended midwith a MyUMW banner along with a March and we wanted to look into series of smaller a variety of rectangular and options,” said square links “I think that the new SAE director Sandrine Sutphin. website is a good way to highlighting upcoming “After reviewing spark interest in the school events, featured different options, organizations and and an easy way to get we came across campus forms.

Presence, the students interested in “I am not the new student biggest fan of different clubs that are engagement the new Presence software we are offered at the university.” website,” said now using, and sophomore we liked what psychology -Jesse Hernandez it was able to major Hannah provide.”

Checkeye. “I The change think that having the tiles on the comes with new challenges, but SAE is homepage is a good idea but I wish that hopeful that the new website will be an it could be more personalized to the improvement from the old system. clubs that I am in and everything going “We feel that it provides a more on around school.” modern, user-friendly interface, Other students welcome the change. will be better at tracking student “I think that the new website is engagement data and it is also helping a good way to spark interest in the us save money,” said Sutphin. “While school and an easy way to get students transitioning software can present a interested in different clubs that are few challenges, we feel like it will be offered at the university,” said junior very worth it in the end.” biology major Jesse Hernandez.

The MyUMW Presence page The new website includes consolidates current campus embedded Facebook and Twitter links information into tiles that are meant to to the university’s be easy to access, and students have •MYUMW | 11 official accounts.

Thomas Skeer Staff Writer

Underage Possession On Friday, March 29 at 10:30 p.m., an underage individual at the Jepson roadway falsely identified themselves to the police and was in possession of alcohol. One district court summons and one administrative referral were given.

Petit Larceny On Saturday, March 30 between 2 p.m. and 4 p.m., a bicycle was stolen from Mason Hall. This case is pending.

Vandalism On Saturday, March 30 between 7:35 p.m. and 7:45 p.m., a fire exit sign was vandalized at Randolph Hall. This case is pending.

Drug Possession On Sunday, March 31 at 9:22 p.m., there was an incident of marijuana possession at building 1 of the UMW Apartments.

Two administrative referrals were given.

On Monday, April 1 at 10:12 p.m., there was an incident of marijuana possession at building 8 of the UMW Apartments. Two administrative referrals were given.

Students attend interest meeting for future club that’s constantly growing, changing and adapting to the students involved, as well as the UMW and Fredericksburg communities.”

Students who attended the interest meeting were able to share their initial ideas and hopes for the club.

“I’m looking forward to learning more about women’s and gender studies in general,” said sophomore English major Alex Slaughter. “It is a small major, and although I’m an English major there are a lot of classes in the major itself that overlap. It’s interesting to learn more and also see things from a different perspective.”

“We see each other in the first required classes, and then we just take classes that are more like geared towards what we’re taking in our other departments or like that align with what we prefer more, so it’s nice to have an area where we could bond and get to know each other, and also be

•WGST | 2

working towards what we’re learning in the classroom,” said sophomore women’s and gender studies major Khaila Nelson.

The club has also seen support from WGST professors and faculty of other disciplines.

“I am hopeful that our majors will take their own initiative and collaborate on projects that are meaningful to them, whether that’s educational in focus, bringing greater awareness to feminist and social justice issues, or whether it’s involving projects that would benefit the Fredericksburg community and build connections with the community around the university.

I trust them to choose efforts that are meaningful to them and that are inspired by their choice of major,” said Dr. Kristin Marsh, a sociology and anthropology professor within the WGST major and faculty advisor for the club.

Moving forward, Parker plans for the women’s and gender studies club, prospectively titled the WGST Student Association, to be official on campus in the fall 2019 semester.

“It’s so exciting to explore new disciplines, new ways of thinking and new experiences through different departments that all tie back into the core of women’s and gender studies,” said Parker. “The ways that race, class, gender, sex, sexuality, religion, and a plethora of other factors all build a deeply intersectional way of understanding the world and all of its many cultures is something that I want to bring into this club through discussions, departmental events, fundraising, outreach, engagement and activism.”

The club plans to meet bi-weekly while also sponsoring other, topicspecific events. The club is still looking to fill many leadership positions.

CORRECTIONS for THE Week The article titled “Enigma Winter Guard reaches new heights” from the Mar. 28 edition misspelled Julia Rizzo. Her last name is spelled Rizzo, not Rizzow.

PLEASE REPORT ANY MISTAKES SEEN IN THE BLUE & GRAY PRESS TO Lauren Closs, blueandgray.eic@gmail.com or Sushma Subramanian, ssubrama@umw.edu

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Thursday, April 4, 2019

NEWS

Music department reacts to piano upgrade

this sale on campus, UMW receives the pianos for a discounted price. The initial contract is for five years with the option to renew the contract every year for up to ten years. This allows the department the opportunity to replace the old pianos over time instead of purchasing them all at the same time.

“I don’t think I would want to buy them all at once because I don’t want to end up in the situation 25 years from now that we were in where the pianos needed to be replaced all at once,” said Kuykendall.

Students and faculty in the music department recognized that there was major need for replacements.

“They were junk, long past the end of their service life,” said Dr. Andrew Kraus, principle piano instructor. “The instruments were entirely inadequate, whether being used as practice instruments or in the teaching studios.”

“Virtually all of them were in really bad shape,” said Kuykendall.

“Most of the pianos that we had before were honestly fairly terrible,” said senior psychology major John Kurtzke.

Junior music and history double major Kassie Philips agreed.

“I hated the pianos we had before.

They were old and they all sounded terrible in different ways. Some were only loud, some were only soft, and most of them sounded clanky and awful.”

Although many of the pianos needed replacing, the historic nature of the instruments made it difficult for the department to decide which to keep.

“We have to go through what is called surplus, they come and pick up the old pianos, and the state does an auction. I’m hoping we will find homes for some of those on campus,” said Kuykendall.

“Right before spring break I went around and basically put do not resuscitate orders on them. Of our 25 pianos there were 10 of them that we decided to get rid of. We took the ones that seemed to be in the worst shape for what we needed them to be.”

• PIANOS | 2

The new additions have been met with positive reactions from those in the department.

“The Philharmonic Orchestra is thrilled with the addition of the new pianos to the music department,” said Audra Bielke, Philharmonic operations manager. “Our student musicians look forward to using the pianos as we rehearse for our upcoming performances.”

“The new instruments are a huge improvement. I have heard good reactions from the students about the practice pianos,” said Kraus.

“There are now, for the first time since I have been working at UMW, two functional grand pianos in the primary piano teaching studio. Having two instruments allows me to sit at one, watch and listen to my student at the other, and be able to play examples without the need for us to swap seats.”

Students say the new instruments allow for a better learning environment and the ability to have quality practice time.

“I’ve tried pretty much all of the new pianos, and though there are still a few that I’m not a huge fan of, the improvement is enormous,” Philips said. “In particular, the full digital keyboard that’s in one of the practice rooms is fantastic. I’m really happy that this deal happened.”

“It’s better instruments when you get there. In the classrooms, the practice rooms and the teaching studios, all of those were already available, but now they are brand new instruments,” said Kuykendall.

While the majority of the reception has been positive, there is some opposition to the new additions.

“There was one 1920s Steinway that I, and other students, begged the department to keep. While the new ones are nice, I find them to be incredibly bland and uninspiring to play,” said Kurtzke.

“The fun of the old ones is that they all had their little quirks and different sounds that lent them well to certain styles of music, and helped give you a new perspective on your playing.”

UMW clubs and organizations transition to new website •MYUMW | 10

“I think that the integration of the social media tabs in the Presence website is a good way to connect with students and hopefully intrigue them to follow the pages on their personal accounts,” said junior biology major Corinne Carson.

While some students said they were excited to use the new website, some feel it may be too late for them to take full advantage of the new system.

“I really like the new website I just wish that I had more time to use it,” said senior environmental science major Will Donohoe. “I feel like if the new website would have been around a few years ago I might have been more inclined to get involved in more clubs.”

Although this is the first update to the MyUMW webpage in several years, the timing of the change has

Thursday, April 4, 2019

been inopportune for those new to the university.

“Coming from high school I had to learn an all new navigation system once arriving and now that there is another change in the website that I have to figure out is frustrating,” said freshman Gracie Williams.

The new MyUMW website also comes with a new mobile version for keeping up with clubs and events on the go. The mobile version can be accessed under the “Tools & Search” tab on the university homepage and has the same tile design.

“The mobile version of the website is relatively crowded but is very interactive and up to date. It also gives a modern day social media feel while using it,” said freshman international relations major Andrew Sweeney.

Plant biology is on of the classes offered for the new major.

Ivory Ball / The Blue & Gray Press

New major designed to give UMW students a competitive edge workforce. As of small population sizes, gene flow a result, one GIS and maintenance of genetic diversity course is mandatory for completing the in populations. For now, the committee track. wants to make sure students at least According to Dolby, UMW is have the general genetics course on a good place to offer this program their transcripts. geographically.

The news of the new Being located conservation biology “It’s a good thing to major is attracting directly between have now because attention and excitement Washington D.C. and Richmond, students within it’s becoming a much among there are various and outside the biology more popular field.” department. agencies, nonprofits and “I know that if it other organizations was offered when -Shelby Correia centered here that I came in, I would deal specifically have done that,” said with conservation. senior biology major, “Students will have a lot of Nicole Lamb. “With how urbanized opportunity for internships and Fredericksburg and NOVA is, we employments right here in the region,” need more students in conservation to said Dolby. “From Virginia Department protect the wildlife habitat that is left of Game and Fisheries in one direction, before it is all destroyed in this area. to U.S. Fish and Wildlife in the other As well as educate more people about direction, we’re in a pretty good plastic consumption and how much the location.” everyday person contributes to waste This type of specialized program product.” will be unique for a school like UMW. While students are eager for the new The program will give students the major to come into effect, some have opportunity to complete a major frustrations about how long it took for currently only offered by larger the program to diversify. universities, such as George Mason “It’s disappointing because I want University or Virginia Tech, while still to go to grad school for conservation giving them the benefits of a small biology, so I picked up environmental institution. sustainability and climate science to fill No new the gap,” said junior courses will biology major, “With how urbanized need to be Shelby Correia. “It’s Fredericksburg and NOVA is, a good thing to have adapted, nor will any new now because it’s we need more students in facility need conservation to protect the becoming a much to be hired. more popular field.” wildlife habitat that is left before it Dolby and The only major impact the other faculty is all destroyed in this area.” of adding the involved in the major will be creation of the -Nicole Lamb requiring the new major predict course BIOL that conservation 428, conservation biology, and BIOL biology as a concentration in the field 231, plant biology, to be offered on a will be a huge success with current more frequent basis to meet student students. demand based on the number of “I hope that it attracts more students individuals enrolled on the track. that care about conservation and want The curriculum committee plans to to implement conservation here on replace the general genetics component campus,” said Correia. with a new genetics course that will Additionally, “adding a conservation focus more on conservation genetics, biology track would likely attract a Dolby said. This course will focus on different and possibly more highly conservation of small populations and achieving pool of applicants,” Dolby the reasons why a student needs to stated in the major proposal. understand the genetic consequences

•NEW MAJOR | 2

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SPORTS

Editor: Jack Hagn | blueandgray.sports@gmail.com

Golf teams successful in Eagle Invitational Golf Tournament

Manceri placing first in the individual category, and golfers Sebastien Bonte, Robin Yu and This past weekend, UMW’s golf Jason Guintu taking third, sixth teams hosted the Eagle Invitational and tenth, respectively.

Golf Tournament, a two-day division III On the women’s end, the golfing event. The men’s team competed team finished fourth, with against Washington & Jefferson, sophomore Andrea Dill Catholic, Johnson & Wales (Denver), receiving medalist honors, Arcadia, Virginia Wesleyan, Eastern Crystal Pham placing twelfth, Mennonite, Marymount. The women’s Sara Fioretti 28th, and Ashley team competed against a slightly Ruehl 38th. different listing of schools: Marymount, When interviewed before Shenandoah, Arcadia, Randolph-Macon, the tournament, the team Virginia Wesleyan, Goucher, Catholic, seemed fairly confident in their Sweet Briar and Johnson & Wales abilities. During last year’s (Denver). season, the men’s team won This was the first tournament of the their conference championship spring season for the men’s team, and and made it into the national tournament, even though it the second for the women’s, having was only the team’s second previously played a tournament in year in existence. Moreover, Richmond. several members of both teams The tournament was composed of two trained throughout spring break, The women’s team finished fourth in the tournament. simultaneous events, one for the men’s team and one for the women’s team. perfecting their golf skills pretty disappointed. We know what level Each team has five players play, with the through practice. According to golfer we can perform at, and if we perform at lowest four scores being factored into the Sebastien Bonte, the team “played 18 that level, we should be fine.” final score for the school. The individual holes a day pretty much.”

Coach Brendan McGrath, although player with the lowest score is taken as When asked about how confident optimistic, responded in a more cautious he was in the team going into the manner, stating that “Golf is much more the individual winner for the event. invitational, golfer Phillip Manceri said, random than predicting who will win The men’s team took first with a “I think we should win, because that’s or lose. I think if you do the right thing, composite score of 597 (+29) over our goal.

I mean, if we don’t win, I’d be a lot of times winning will take care of the two-day event, with golfer Phillip itself but there’s far too much randomness in golf to predict who’s going to win and who’s not going to win.”

However, McGrath still expressed clear confidence in the ability of his players, stating, “I like to think we’re prepared, we’ve done our work to play well, perform well, whether or not that happens, that’s a different story.”

This was also one of the first tournaments for McGrath, who is the team’s third coach, and began coaching The men’s team took first with a composite score of 597 (+29).

UMW Athletics the team during AUGUSTUS GROHMANN Staff Writer

The men’s team will be competing at the Camp Lejeune College Invitational.

UMW Athletics

UMW Athletics

this past fall. It is also McGrath’s first experience coaching a college-level golf team.

“I think he’s been great, honestly.

I really like what he’s doing so far, I think he’s getting the program on the right track, back to where it should be.

His ideas and his ways of going about it work really well,” said Manceri when asked about McGrath’s leadership.

McGrath has focused on tackling a variety of problems, one of them being recruitment. The women’s team in particular has faced difficulty on this front.

“We do our best with it. The single biggest issue is recruitment in division III golf. It’s a little more difficult on the woman’s side than it is the men’s side, simply because of the amount of players.

Recruiting on the women’s side, the pool is smaller and more difficult,” said McGrath.

The team is also very new, being only in its second year of existence. As such, the team is composed of only six players, five of which competed in the recent invitational.

The men’s team will be returning next week at the Camp Lejeune College Invitational. Similarly, the women’s team will be competing next weekend at York College in Pennsylvania.

Recruiting for the women’s team has been difficult as the team is in its second year.

UMW Athletics

Club Sports Scoreboard Club Softball Mar. 30 @ Virgina Comonwealth Univerity 1-1 Thursday, April 4, 2019

Club Womans Soccer Apr. 6-7 Tournament

Club Womans Volleyball Apr. 30 @ George Mason University TBA 12