Out in Maine

F national marriage update where the states stand p 4 F honeymoon planning are travel agencies worth it?

F divas and legends they’re coming to maine

p 24

maine’s gbltq community & you | spring 2014

get dapper

Flaunt your true style with alternative wedding wear _by Deirdre Fulton | p 12

p 10

out in maine | spring 2014 3

Out in Maine is published by Phoenix Media/Communications Group

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spring 2014 | voL vi, no 1

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04 the new normaL _BY jeff inglis

10 the honeYmooners _BY CHelseA COOK

12 get Dapper _BY DeiRDRe fUlTOn

THE PHOENIX MEDIA/COMMUNICATIONS GROUP

CHAIRMAN stephen m. minDich CHIEf OPERATING OffICER everett finkeLstein THE PHOENIX NEWSPAPERS | PHOENIX mEdIA vENTuRES | mASS WEB PRINTING

18 from the ocean to the garDen: maine weDDing inspiration

24 three LittLe maiDs from maine _BY jeff inglis

26 inspireD BY LegenDs _BY DeiRDRe fUlTOn

32 Bear anD Bones _BY CHRisTOPHeR DAlPe

34 You must marrY _BY RYAn COnRAD

4 out in maine | Spring 2014

the new normal

conservatives try a different approach in fight against equality _by je f f i n g l i s

F

In the last six months, as marriage equality and other LGBTQ rights have continued their inexorable expansion across the United States, it has become clear that instead of shaking the country to its core, or undermining America as we know it (as opponents have long alleged), protecting the rights of everyone in our society has benefited tens of thousands, perhaps even hundreds of thousands, of Americans in countless ways throughout their everyday lives.

What’s especially interesting is how quiet the ridiculous deep-seated opposition has actually become. The radical conservatives who for many years preached that recognizing the LGBTQ rights — same-sex marriage equality, employment non-discrimination, and more — would harm families, or kids, or communities, or the government, or the society, or something, have, it would appear, realized that marriage equality is not ending the world after all.

Writing in The Atlantic in early March, researcher Robert P. Jones reported that his studies showed nearly half of all Southerners now support same-sex marriage. Despite all the legal action and court decisions, he wrote, “these changes cannot be explained away as merely another example of federal judicial activism circumventing the will of the people in southern states. Rather, we are witnessing dramatic cultural transformations, which include changing minds even among culturally and religiously conservative Americans in the South.”

Even conservative pundits seem to be noticing this progress. Fox News commentator Howard Kurtz wrote in early March about a Washington Post/ABC poll with showing 59 percent of Americans support same-sex marriage, and only 34 percent opposing. That’s almost an exact reversal of the numbers from the same poll in 2004, which Kurtz calls “a headspinning shift.”

Continued on p 8

Scorecard Where diScrimination iS under attack What russ douthat and other conservatives are seeing, and recognizing the inevitability of, is the march to the courthouse of LgBtQ americans across the country. Sadly, most of them are not yet heading there to get married — rather, they’re suing to force states to allow and recognize their marriages. according to nBc news reporter pete Williams, “cases are now pending in all but eight of the 33 states that forbid gay couples to marry.” Last June’s uS Supreme court decision striking down Section 3 of the clinton-era defense of marriage act has opened the floodgates.

Williams’s tally says 17 states permit same-sex marriage, 29 ban it under an amendment to the state constitution, and the remaining four ban it in state statute.

With cases in almost every state, and appeals in process in several circuits, “it seems a near certainty that the issue will be back at the uS Supreme court soon, either by the next term that begins in october or the year after,” Williams wrote. here, compiled primarily from promarriage groups marriage equality uSa and Freedom to marry, is a rundown of where all 50 states stand: AlAbAmA | a case was filed in december 2013 to overturn ban, and to force recognition of marriages performed in other states.

AlAskA | the state Supreme court is considering a denial of survivor benefits as a result of constitutional and legal bans.

ArizonA | two cases, one in state court and another in federal court, are pending against the 2004 constitu-

F

tional band; in January, the state asked for dismissal of the federal case.

ArkAnsAs | in January, a class-action suit was filed seeking to overturn the state’s bans, a 1996 law and a 2004 constitutional amendment. that builds on a 2010 case seeking to preserve health benefits for state workers. they are getting benefits now, under current rulings, but the case just received classaction status covering all arizona state workers with same-sex partners.

CAliforniA | Legal ColorAdo | Four cases, all in state court, seek to overturn the 2004 constitutional amendment ban, which also created non-marriage civil unions.

ConneCtiCut | Legal delAwAre | Legal floridA | State and federal suits are pending, trying to overturn the 2008 constitutional amendment ban. georgiA | no challenges HAwAii | Legal idAHo | a federal case seeks to reverse the 2006 constitutional amendment ban, which is being defended by the state attorney general; in may, a judge will consider whether to skip the trial and just issue a ruling. illinois | Legal indiAnA | in early march, four couples sued in federal court seeking marriage rights and to overturn the state’s statutory ban. iowA | Legal kAnsAs | a december 2013 lawsuit asks permission for a same-sex couple married elsewhere (kansas has a constitutional ban) to file joint income-tax returns.

kentuCky | on February 12, a federal judge ruled the state’s ban unconstitutional; if an appeals court does not issue a delay, same-sex couples will have full legal rights starting march 20. the state attorney general says he will not appeal the case, but the governor says he will. also, marriages performed elsewhere are recognized. louisiAnA | three cases seek to overturn statutory and constitutional bans; the state is defending those bans. mAine | Legal mArylAnd | Legal mAssACHusetts | Legal miCHigAn | Federal judge will rule in late march on challenge to 2004 voterapproved state ban. minnesotA | Legal mississippi | a case seeks to force the state to recognize an out-of-state samesex marriage for the purpose of granting a divorce; there is no active challenge yet to the state’s constitutional ban, but preparations are under way. missouri | there is not yet a case directly challenging the state’s constitutional ban, but two cases do seek to require recognition of out-of-state same-sex marriages. montAnA | a case in state court now seeks “all of the benefits of marriage, other than marriage itself,” according to marriage equality uSa. nebrAskA | no challenges nevAdA | in 2012 a federal judge rejected a challenge to its 2002 constitutional ban; an appeal will be heard by the 9th circuit soon, but the state’s attorney general and governor are not scorecard, Continued on p 6

510 Congress St. Portland, ME 207.772.5313 w w w. a n dreas br idal.n e t

6 out in maine | Spring 2014

scorecard, Continued from p 8

supporting the ban. new HAmpsHire | Legal new jersey | Legal new mexiCo | Legal new york | Legal nortH CArolinA | republican lawmakers are defending the statutory and constitutional bans; a county register of deeds has also said he will ask the state attorney general to decide whether marriage licenses can be issued to same-sex couples. nortH dAkotA | no challenges oHio | in december 2013, a federal judge overturned the state’s 2004 constitutional ban; the attorney general has appealed the ruling to the 6th circuit. oklAHomA | in January, a federal judge overturned the state’s constitutional ban; the state’s appeal will be heard in april in the 10th circuit. oregon | a federal suit challenges the state’s constitutional ban; arguments will be heard in april, but the state attorney general has said she will not defend it.

pennsylvAniA | Several state and federal cases oppose the statutory ban; the attorney general has said she will not defend it. rHode islAnd | Legal soutH CArolinA | a federal suit was filed in august 2013 seeking to overturn the state’s constitutional and statutory bans. soutH dAkotA | no challenges tennessee | a federal suit asks a judge to overturn the statutory and constitutional bans. texAs | numerous state and federal cases challenge the constitutional ban and other statutory restrictions on equality, including an appeal before the 5th circuit of a February ruling striking down the bans. utAH | in december 2013, a federal judge struck down the state’s constitutional amendment; its appeal will be heard in april in the 10th circuit. another federal case seeks to protect about 1300 same-sex couples who were legally married in utah after the december decision and before the uS Supreme court’s January stay of the ruling. vermont | Legal

virginiA | in February, a federal judge overturned the 2006 constitutional ban; the decision is stayed pending an appeal decision by the 4th circuit. the state attorney general has not defended the ban, and instead intends to join the plaintiffs seeking to have it struck down. wAsHington | Legal west virginiA | a federal suit, which is opposed by the state attorney general, seeks to overturn the statutory ban. wisConsin | a case before the state supreme court challenges the 2006 constitutional ban and a 2009 domestic-partnership law; a decision is expected this summer. a federal suit also challenges those bans, as well as a Wisconsin-only law banning same-sex couples from marrying elsewhere under penalty of fine and imprisonment. wyoming | in march a state lawsuit was filed seeking to strike down the statutory ban. wAsHington dC | Legal _Ji

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W. JO MOSER

equality overSeaS Same-sex marriage rights are an equally hot topic in other countries. the most attention has been given to russian president Vladimir putin, who continues to enforce his country’s sweepingly vague ban on “gay propaganda,” while his people overwhelmingly object to samesex marriages. in africa, serious legal barriers are still being erected. (only South africa has legalized same-sex marriage.) uganda, the most aggressively anti-gay country on that continent, recently enacted a law that could sentence homosexuals to life imprisonment. Faced with Western objection to that law, president Yoweri museveni complained about “social imperialism,” saying foreigners were trying to “impose social values” on his people. the uganda-based civil Society coalition on human rights and constitutional Law recently released 20 guidelines for national and international allies on “how to offer support now that the anti-homosexuality law has been assented to.” among their suggestions: F“call on multinational companies that have businesses in uganda [such as heneiken, British airways, and Barclays Bank] to go public about their concerns [about] the act and their future economic engagements in uganda.”

F“expand investment in funding for service delivery and advocacy in defiance of the law, targeting LgBt populations, to attempt to mitigate the harmful impact this law will have on access to services, and on human rights.”

F”call for your government to issue travel advisories on uganda...alerting their own LgBti citizens to the risk of traveling in uganda.”

F”draw international public attention to issues such as corruption, human trafficking...land-grabbing, as well as the suppression of media freedom and civil society space...

F

Continued from p 4

In fact, conservative New York Times columnist Russ Douthat’s March 2 column was entitled “The Terms of Our Surrender.” Spoiler: It’s not really a surrender. Rather, it highlights a change in the scale and scope of the fight to one much larger and broader than the terms of civil marriage.

No longer inveighing against what he and others called the “redefinition” of marriage to include all consenting adults, Douthat asked his readers to redefine the idea of “religious freedom” to mean protecting, effectively, anything they feel like doing at any time, for any reason.

A great many people around the country are now

a ugandan civil rights organization is calling on the global community to help overthrow an anti-gay law. so that attention shifts to where it properly belongs: in the best interests of the country’s population as a whole.” asia is another place with little-to-no recognition: the best status for same-sex marriage is in israel, where marriages themselves are not allowed, but where the government recognizes them if legally performed elsewhere. nepal, taiwan, and Vietnam are among the countries that do have active discussions under way. and the dalai Lama recently became the first Buddhist leader to endorse samesex marriage. in the pacific, australia bans same-sex marriage; new Zealand allows it. most of the island nations don’t recognize same-sex marriages; several also ban all homosexual activity. in the americas, canada allows same-sex marriage; mexico and several other central american countries only recognize same-sex marriages performed elsewhere. South america is fairly split, though powerhouses Brazil and

objecting to laws barring their businesses, places of public accommodation, and workplaces from discriminating against same-sex couples, on the grounds that, somehow, discrimination is part of their religious philosophy and therefore outside the realm of government control.

Douthat came to a spirited defense of that prodiscrimination perspective — even terming it a “subculture,” simultaneously admitting its small and dwindling numbers and suggesting it should be preserved. He lamented the prospect that wedding photographers and adoption agencies might “be treated like the proprietor of a segregated lunch counter,” and face penalties for continued discrimination.

Continuing his sad hypothetical, Douthat posits that “eventually, religious schools and colleges would receive the same treatment as racist holdouts like Bob Jones University, losing access to public funds and seeing their tax-exempt status revoked.”

Carving out religious-freedom protections is a common method of ensuring religious institutions are not compelled by the government to change their teachings; Maine’s law, like those in many other states, was strategically written to allow churches and ordained ministers to decide for themselves whether wAving tHe wHite flAg? New York Times columnist russ they consecrate or celebrate same-sex marriages. douthat.

But Douthat wants much

He observes that “even GOP politicians who are against [same-sex] marriages are muting their opposition,” attributing that decision to the fact that “three-quarters of Americans under 30 back same-sex marriage (as opposed to less than half of senior citizens).”

With same-sex marriage recognized at the federal level and legal in 17 states — and with marriage inequality under siege in most of the 33 states where it is not yet legal — conservatives are in retreat.

(See sidebar, “Scorecard.”)

Surrender?

GAY WEDDING PHOTOGRAPHY argentina (as well as smaller nation uruguay) have samesex marriage. colombia and ecuador have some legal rights for same-sex couples. most western european countries (though not italy) recognize same-sex marriages or offer some sort of government-registered partnership; eastern european countries are uniform in not recognizing same-sex marriages, and several nations in that area have specific opposite-gender requirements for marriage.

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soCiAl imperiAlism ugandan president yoweri Museveni recently signed an severe anti-gay law in that country.

more. For him, individuals should be able to decide for themselves whether they treat other humans with dignity and respect — or whether their religious beliefs allow them to discriminate.

In fact, in March, the US Supreme Court is expected to rule on whether corporations can hold religious beliefs and, if so, whether those beliefs can exempt corporations from a great many state and federal laws.

Douthat wraps up with a weird pronouncement that seems to blame the people he views as victims: “Christians had plenty of opportunities — thousands of years’ worth — to treat gay people with real charity, and far too often chose intolerance. (And still do, in many instances and places.) So being marginalized, being sued, losing tax-exempt status — this will be uncomfortable, but we should keep perspective and remember our sins, and nobody should call it persecution.”

And his final line could be called fatalistic if it weren’t such a call to arms: “all that’s left is the timing of the final victory — and for the defeated to find out what settlement the victors will impose.” ^

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Spring 2014 | out in maine 11

the honeymooners

why travel agencies may be worth any extra expense _by ch e l s e a c o o k

F

The vows have been said. The cake has been cut. Certain relatives have been tolerated.

Now it’s time for the happy couple to jet off to their own personal paradise to finally get some “us” time. It’s the ultimate reward from the stresses of planning (and experiencing) the wedding, right?

Or is it? For some couples the honeymoon can turn out to be the more hectic than the wedding itself. Just like the big day, the perfect vacation all comes down to advance planning and budgeting.

Getaways are becoming more do-it-yourself thanks to websites like TripAdvisor and Kayak.

There are more sites advertising cheap airfare and accommodations than there are islands in the Pacific Ocean, advertising faraway options that may never have occurred to you (Ile de Marajo, anyone?). Not to mention it’s gratifying to plan an entire trip yourself, and to be certain you’ve got the best deal.

That said, anyone who’s suffered Craigslist buyer’s remorse over that bargain “vintage” chaise lounge knows the pitfalls of dealing strictly online.

“Those pictures can be out-of-date or Photoshopped, and you have no idea what you’re getting into,” says Jill Bradford of Bangor Travel Services (bangortravelservices.com). Here is where travel agents offer an advantage. “If I’m suggesting a destination, you can bet either I’ve been there or

someone else in the office has,” Bradford attests.

Indeed, industry professionals travel to a few places they’ve never been each year, in order to better inform future vacationers about hotels, restaurants, excursions, and entertainment (hard life!).

“We check out a several resorts regardless of our preference,” she says. “What I like may not be what my client likes. You’ve got your thrill-seekers and your sunbunnies both to consider.”

The main hesitation that most people have about approaching a travel agent is that it’s somehow more expensive. But that may be mislaid fear.

“People frequently come to us and ask ‘I saw this online.

Can you get it?’ Normally, yes we can, and either match the price or tell you that place is a dive and you don’t want to go there!” Bradford says.

Airline tickets are usually the biggest expense, and Bradford confirms agencies do have a service fee just for air travel. Why the extra fee? Anyone who has traveled by air can tell you a horror story

about a delayed or cancelled flight or a layover that kept extending into next week. Travel agents can help people navigate these situations.

Beth Skypeck, a honeymoon and destination wedding specialist with the Hurley Travel Agency in Portland (travelexperts.com), had one client who booked his trip online. The man called Skypeck with questions because the airline was asking him to leave his bags behind at the airport.

When Skypeck looked into it on her end, she saw he had ended up paying for a forced overnight flight. “He ended up having to stay the rest of the night in Philadelphia at his own expense, and ended up spending more money,” Skypeck says.

“The travel agent can work as your advocate in this situation.”

Such advocacy is part of the package, and once again ties into agents’ personal connections. “We have insider contacts to make things happen,” Skypeck explains. “We constantly work with airports and know all the people.” Hurley Travel also offers an after-hours service where clients can call in for help. After-hours agents look at the airport or resort records and are able to help find a different flight or room.

“The first thing to do in [that] situation is get in line for check-in and then immediately get on the phone with your travel agent,” says Hurley. They step in, contact the airline, and book a new flight.

“By the time you get to the counter, you’re all set,” says Bradford.

Of course, many websites have a similar

helplines, and but hold-times can be lengthy (in some migraine-inducing cases, several hours).

Some people are shocked to hear that travel agencies are not only still in business, but thriving. If anything, the travel websites are helping brick-and-mortar agencies stay in business by providing information and options to travelers, who then take that knowledge into face-to-face appointments.

“More and more clients want personal customer service,” Skypeck says. “We sit down and discuss exactly what they’re looking for in a trip.

We look at their budget and their dream and help make it work,” no matter the goal.

“What’s best for me is not what’s best for the client. If you’d ask me, I’d choose Jamaica every

time,” she laughs.

The Caribbean remains a favorite destination for honeymoons, along with Hawaii, Mexico, and Aruba, according to Bradford.

“It all depends on the couple,” she says. “Some people want to go to Paris and others to Barbados.”

Unsurprisingly after a harsh winter, vacation-planning Mainers are gravitating toward warmer climates, with Bradfor reporting “a huge increase in honeymoons and destination weddings in the mid-tropics.”

Choose packages with care, however. While leaving your itinerary in someone else’s hands might take some of the pressure off planning your wedding, travel agents — like websites — aren’t infallible, and doing extra research will get you closer to the beach in that brochure. ^

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For better or for worse, what you wear on your wedding day could very well be the most scrutinized outfit you ever put on.

You’ll be photographed from every angle and on display in front of several dozen wedding guests (at least — that’s assuming you were able to pare down your guest list to a manageable number); everything from your hair accessories to your shoes will be examined, evaluated, and potentially Instagrammed. So why would anyone choose, on such a sartorially significant day, to wear something incongruous with his or her personal style — to be remembered wearing something poufy or ill-fitting or (and this is perhaps the worst adjective of all) unoriginal?

Fortunately, designers, wedding blogs, and retailers around the world are starting to catch on: The days of white princess dresses and boring black tuxedos are over; increasingly, brides and grooms want to express their fashion individuality along with their nuptial fidelity on The Big Day. This is especially relevant to same-sex couples, for whom cookie-cutter wedding costumes simply don’t apply. For example, while lesbian couples will want to find outfits that complement each other (and some may choose to both go the whitewedding-dress route) there’s no reason to adhere to traditional rules of attire. Butch brides may be drawn to silk pantsuits, masculine suits tailored for a female body, more casual linen wear, business attire, Chuck Taylors, and bow-ties, while high-femme fiancés may opt for a more classic gown and heels with a fauxhawk. On the Pinterest board “What to Wear to Your Queer Wedding,” we saw super-hot examples of genderbendy wedding fashion, including fitted vests, suspenders, glitter-crusted Oxfords, and bridal jumpsuits (!). At eQuallYWed.com, we even found a beautiful photo shoot featuring a man in a Vera Wang wedding gown.

continued on p 14

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transmasculine individuals of all colors, shapes, and sizes”); and ourlesbianmarriage.com.

At the oFFbeat bride website, author, lecturer, and self-described “gender-jammer” S. Bear Bergman offers the following warning to suitshoppers: “The bad news is that you will not be renting anything, and you will not be getting off the hook for less than $300 to $400 if you buy the suit new. The good news is that a good-quality suit will last 20 years if your size remains stable and you care for it well.”

Bergman goes on to help women navigate the retail experience, explaining “the language of suit shopping” and what measurements are most important (shoulders for the coat and hips for the trousers). “‘Fashion’ suits, as opposed to business suits, have tighter armholes, narrower lapels, and a slimmer fit,” Bergman explains.

While j. creW,

banana republic, and brooks brothers

continued on p 14

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Fourteen | fourteenstyle.com | With a name inspired by the 14th amendment of the US Constitution, this line of suits tailored specifically for the lesbian, queer, and trans community is the product of a Twitter conversation lamenting the limited weddingattire options for those with “nonconforming gender expressions.” tomboY tailors | tomboytailors.com

| Their tagline is, “fine clothing for butch, transmasculine, and more;” we’re in love with their diverse collection of bow ties in patterns ranging from whimsical to preppy ($55-65). kreuzbach 10 | kreuzbach10.com | “Founder Anna was continually

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continue to offer nice menswear-for-women options (not to even mention J. Crew’s white eyelash-lace jumpsuit, $750, which we are basically obsessed with as a non-traditional bridal option — it’s got pockets! and bows down the back! and the lace is sourced from a Rhode Island-based mill!), other sites cater specifically to LGBTQ clients.

Here, we’ve rounded up a bunch of websites that offer fashion inspiration for engaged partners seeking to honor not only their beloved, but also their own bodies and style preferences, on their wedding days:

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rics. We especially love the summery Mint Stripe Bow Tie ($48).

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turing “a sleek masculine cut, re-engineered for women and transmen.”

In December 2012, the folks at Saint Harridan launched a crowdfunding campaign to gauge interest and gain support for their endeavor. In what amounted to a rousing endorsement, they raised $137,000; they’ve been going strong ever since.

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RBPA Scholarship Awards Banquet May 14, 2014 ♦ 6:00pm–9:00pm Cumberland Club ♦ 116 High Street, Portland Keynote Speaker Mayor Michael Brennan We’ll be awarding scholarships and hearing from the scholarship recipients.

ellen page looking hot at the vanity Fair oscars party. continued from p 14

frustrated not only by not being able to find shirts that looked how she wanted, but the even more challenging task of finding shirts that fit how she wanted,” it reads on this shirtmaker’s website. So she created a number of “archetype patterns,” each designed to fit a different body shape.

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F

Anyone’s who’s planned a wedding in the last few years knows that collecting photo inspiration is an essential part of the process; that’s why wedding blogs (not to mention Pinterest) have become such a sizeable cog in the wedding-industry machine.

Before you see individualized place-settings, each decorated with a picture of the guest with either of the newlyweds, you’d never think to personalize your placecards in such a way. Until you’re moved by a couple saying their vows on the stage of a medieval hall, you’d never consider holding your own ceremony in a similar setting.

But those options exist, along with infinite other ways to make your special day uniquely reflective of your personalities, both as individuals, and as a newly united pair.

And we’re proud that out-of-staters are choosing to celebrate their one-of-a-kind romances in Maine, which affords venues and backdrops that are as diverse as they are beautiful.

To that end, we here at Out in Maine want to share these two breathtaking same-sex wedding shoots (one staged, one not), both of which seem to embody a sensibility that’s specific to our state.

For nautical inspiration, look no further than Meg and Emily’s summertime shindig, which took place last July on Peaks Island. Every detail of this beautiful day was perfect, from smartly striped decor, to the brides’ choice of footwear (oxfords and sandals, natch), to the handmade invitations and printed material (all crafted by Meg), to the non-stop hours of music and dancing. And of course, Whitney Fox of Emilie Inc. Photography (emilieinc.com) did a

wondeful job capturing the magic on film.

If you’re more drawn to stately garden parties than beachside bashes, check out Meredith and Megan’s theatrical, floral-inspired shoot at a remote estate in Lovell, designed and styled by Paula Cano of A Family Affair of Maine (afamilyaffairmaine.com) and photographed by Sharyn Peavey (sharynpeavey.com). That custom-made dress, of course, is something to behold, but the other grace notes are just as impressive: the classic calligraphy, the elaborate cake, the place settings that would fit right into Downton Abbey. Check the captions for specific vendor information.

We’d love to publish your wedding photos in Out in Maine to inspire the next batch of celebrations.

Send your snapshots to dfulton@phx.com, and from us to you: Congratulations! ^

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" summertime serenade Meg, who takes a knee in this photo, also designed the couple’s wedding invitations and programs, at right.

rearview Model Megan Roberts wore slender black J. Crew capris at this styled shoot, which took place at the stately Eastman Hill homestead in Lovell, Maine.

Continued on p 20

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20 out in maine | Spring 2014

Continued from p 18

simply striping Navy-and-white tablecloths were a striking backdrop for bright red table numbers.

Considering Adoption? lovebirds The happy couple lives in New York City but Maine is close to their hearts; Meg proposed to Emily on Marginal Way in Portland.

island fare The Inn on Peaks Island provided both the venue and the catering (innonpeaks.com). Cupcakes came from Two Fat Cats (twofatcatsbakery.com).

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tied with a ribbon Flowers by Judy Bourgeois at Flora Fauna (florafaunaweddings.com).

twenty toes in the sand Untied oxfords and nautical sandals = perfectly charming casualness.

Continued on p 22

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Continued from p 20

rsvp! Invitations were created by Papier Gourmet (papiermaine.com); nails by Amy Chenney at Headgames.

strike a pose Kate Emmerich of Headgames Salon (headgameshair.com) did both models’ hair and makeup.

on display Bay City Cargo letters (baycitycargo.com) and a Nothing Bakes Like a Parrott cake (nothingbakeslikeaparrott.com) in a repurposed hutch created by A Family Affair of Maine.

“On a swaying bridge between two worlds.”

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swinging beauty Model Meredith Jaffrey in a custom Sash Couture dress (etsy. com) with flowers by Emily Carter Floral Designs (emilycarterflowers.com).

high drama Roberts wore an Isaac Mizrahi for Target satin tuxedo jacket. Jewelry

by Intrikate Designs (intrikatedesigns.com).

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_B y je f f i n g li S

F

When you’re a diva, you don’t have to meet the people you’ll be singing with before the day of the show. And you only need one group rehearsal — even if it’s for a big event like the 20th year of an opera company. Or so it might seem.

“It used to be a good thing” to be called a diva, laughs Suzanne Nance, who is one of three female opera singers slated to perform a show called “Maine’s Divas Come Home” at the University of Southern Maine’s Hannaford Hall on April 1 as part of PORTopera’s 20th anniversary celebration.

Nance, a soprano who is also a former Maine Public Broadcasting Network radio host now working at Chicago’s WFMT, will sing with another soprano, Ashley Emerson, and a mezzo-soprano, Kate Aldrich, a member of PORTopera’s advisory board and the first Maine native to fill a principal role in one of the company’s major productions — the title role in Carmen.

None of the three have ever sung together before, and Nance will be meeting Aldrich in person for the first time; she has met Emerson in

the past. “We’re going to rehearse the day of” the show, with pianist Martin Perry, who himself is a well known musician in Maine and around the world. “We’ll basically run the whole show, while saving our voices,” Nance says. “We’ll just meet, put it together, and make a show of it.”

That show will be varied in terms of song choice and format.

“The open and close we’re going to go a la the Three Tenors,” Nance says, plus “three or four of the most beautiful duets in all of opera,” and several arias, from pivotal moments in significant shows that nevertheless “can come out and stand on their own.”

The songs are diverse, including works by classical masters Mozart and Verdi alongside modern standouts like Englebert Humperdinck.

Noting that the evening’s program will begin with an ensemble performance of “The Three Little Maids From School,” from Gilbert and Sullivan’s The Mikado, Ann Elderkind, PORTopera’s board president, says it’s appropriate the singers themselves “started as three little maids from Maine.”

Aldrich, originally from Damariscotta, “is so big in Europe,” Nance says. Based in Rome and New

for these three opera stars, it’s a good thing to be called a diva.

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SUzAnne nAnCe is preparing for a 2015 international tour of poulenc’s one-woman opera, La voix humaine (libretto Jean cocteau).

ASHley eMerSon has been seen on the met’s “Live in hd” series.

York City, Aldrich first sang the role of Carmen at PORTopera and has gone on to sing it across Europe, Elderkind adds.

Emerson, who grew up in Bangor, is a recent graduate of USM’s music program, focusing on voice performance. She was involved in PORTopera’s Emerging Artists program, and made her mainstage debut in the company’s 2003 production of Lucia di Lammermoor. Right out of college, she was accepted to a residency at the Metropolitan Opera in New York, where her career is “just taking off,” Nance says.

The singers are so busy, in fact, that it took about a year to coordinate everyone’s schedule, says Elderkind. And they had to pick the program in a Skype session, Nance says. When planning it, “we were all sort of giddy” about coming back to Maine, singing together, and seeing friends and family during the trip. “It’s great for us to come back and celebrate a place we love,” Nance says.

The event will also be celebrating the strength of the opera company, which has weathered a worldwide economic slump that forced bigger cities’ operas to close (including the New York Opera and the Baltimore Opera). Elderkind credits “the community of Maine coming forward” to support the company, especially in difficult times. ^

“Maine’s Divas Come Home” | Tuesday, April 1 @ 7:30 pm | Hannaford Hall, USM Abromson Center, Bedford St, Portland | $65 | porttix.com | portopera.org

26 out in maine | Spring 2014

inspired

by THe legends

acclaimed local singer celebrates judy garland _by de i r d r e f ulto n

F

It takes a lot of guts to get up on stage and perform as a Legend-with-a-capital-L; fortunately, local singer Kelly Caufield has that in spades. That and talent, the kind of pipes you hear only once in a very long while, and typically only on a Broadway stage. Which is why Maine audiences are fortunate to have this charismatic songstress tackling the work of a woman Fred Astaire once called “the greatest entertainer who ever lived,” in Legends: The Music of Judy Garland.

The original show, a cross between a concert and cabaret, is a collaboration between Caufield, who is director of vocal studies at Hebron Academy; Good Theater co-founder and artistic director Brian P. Allen; and musical director Victoria Stubbs; it has already enjoyed successful runs at Biddeford City Theater and the Player’s Ring in Portsmouth. Several performances around Maine are scheduled for this spring (see page 30).

“I’m excited to create opportunities for artists that I love,” Allen says, and Caufield certainly fits that bill. Allen recalls first hearing her sing, at an audition for Side Show at Portland Players more than a decade ago. Since then the pair has worked together on more than a dozen productions at Good Theater, including Ruthless! The Musical in 2007, The Spitfire Grill in 2010, and Striking 12 in 2012. Caufield has also performed with the Portland Symphony Orchestra and Bangor Symphony.

“I’ve loved this girl since she walked into an audition for me 15 years ago,” Allen says. “I can so clearly see her standing on the stage singing to me...she just blew me away and continues to do so now.

Kelly is one of the truly great voices that I have ever had the pleasure to hear or work with.”

In particular, Caufield’s powerful, controlled, and velvety warm voice is well suited to Garland’s catalogue. Allen mentions the chestnut “Johnny One Note,” a Rogers and Hart show tune that Garland sang for the biopic Words and Music and that Caufield performs in Legends. “Nobody sings that song like Kelly,” Allen says. “People work to

Continued on p 28

always Chasing rainbows Kelly caufield, a maine native, graces local stages this spring in Legends: The Music of Judy Garland.

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sing that song, but with Kelly it’s just so effortless.”

Of course, building an original show from nothing — especially one that pays homage to one of America’s favorite performers — is hard work in itself. The process evolved over several years, with cowriters Caufield and Allen devouring the Great American Songbook, watching old Judy Garland television specials, and finally coming to focus on the composers with whom Garland had a significant relationship, such as the Gershwin brothers, Harold Arlen, and the songwriting team of Richard Rogers and Lorenz Hart.

“When Brian and I first decided to develop this show, we knew that it would be an arduous process,” Caufield says. “Writing a show from scratch takes a lot of patience, willingness to collaborate and a creativity that doesn’t always flow naturally. Without Brian and Vicky [Stubbs]’s help this show would never have gotten off the ground.”

But there were moments of clarity, and those she still remembers.

“The most exciting moments were during a long writing or arranging session when we would get something right and look at each other

W

S at

“I WAS VERY CLEAR WHEN WE STARTED THIS PROCESS THAT I DIDN’T WANT TO PORTRAY JUDY,” CAUFIELD SAYS. “I THINK OUR AUDIENCES APPRECIATE THAT.”

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Continued from p 28

as if to say, ‘That’s it!’”

Another challenge was to find the best way to honor Garland without resorting to impersonation. (“Drag queens do that every night in New York City,” Allen laughs.)

In the end, Legends is truly an evening with Caufield, who was in turn deeply inspired by Garland, her childhood idol.

“I was very clear when we started this process that I didn’t want to portray Judy,” Caufield says. “I didn’t want the show to be a caricature of her like other revues have the tendency to become. In other words, [Legends] is not meant to be a an impersonation but a musical celebration. I think that our audiences, especially the die-hard purists, really appreciate that.”

Purists will also be thrilled to hear Stubbs’ new arrangements of classic songs and inventive medleys (like one about the weather, which is where they managed to slip in the obligatory nod to “Somewhere Over the Rainbow”).

That philosophy of celebration rather than copying will serve Legends well. Allen and Caufield hope to expand the concept into a series that

could someday cover the music of stars like Linda Ronstadt, Elvis, or Frank Sinatra.

First up is Legends: Barbra Streisand, which will premiere at Good Theater in April 2015. Rather than focus on Streisand’s betterknown, later material, this show will shine a spotlight on her earlier stuff, from “when she was that quirky, kooky girl in those clubs in Greenwich Village,” as Allen puts it.

Eventually, the possibility will exist to do a two-act show, with the first act encompassing Garland and the second act paying tribute to Babs.

And while there’s no doubt that Caufield will embody each of these Legends with passion and prowess, one senses that her heart will always belong to none other than Frances Ethel Gumm.

“She had a voice that was unmistakable and a stage presence that invited her audiences into her world,” Caufield says of Garland.

“She was the most alive when she was on stage and would often exclaim to her audiences things like, ‘I could sing all night!’ and, ‘I don’t ever want to go home!’ The stage was her home, and that is a dynamic that I can certainly identify with.” ^

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TheWeddingGuide/OutinMaine:Layout 1 3/13/14 12:08 PM Page 1 34 out in maine | Spring 2014

you must marry ...or else? _by ry an c o n r ad

F

Gays, we have arrived. Wrapped in white silk and veiled in tulle and encircled by baby’s breath. To celebrate our arrival as full citizens, last year’s Southern Maine Pride attendees were invited to watch the spectacle of a mass gay wedding ceremony with only slightly less grandeur than those of the Moonie cult of yesteryear. One need look no further than the sleek interface of gayweddingsinmaine.com or leaf through this very special wedding issue of Out in Maine to see what an important niche market we have become. And all the right-wing Republicans that have decimated what’s left of our publicly funded social safety net are now wetting themselves over their new talking points and press events in support of gay marriage! Clearly all this means we’re doing something right, no?

One would never know from the orgiastic and ecstatically positive representations gay marriage has received in the media from the LGBTQ community over the last four years that any of us queers might feel ambivalent, if not downright hostile (as I do), to gay marriage as a political goal.

Over the last few years I’ve had many LGBTQ folks express questions about gay marriage to me in private, but most people weren’t willing to shake the boat publicly lest they be seen as supporting the Christian zealots that come out of the woodwork every time something gay appears on an election ballot in Maine.

So I took to social media recently to ask friends about any uncertainty they might feel about marriage as well as the kinds of unrecognized family and kinship networks they rely on that don’t conform to conjugal coupledom. I keep wondering what the Yes on 1 campaign was thinking when they campaigned on behalf of “ALL Maine Families” when their ultimate achievement was to further entrench a cultural and state institution that rewards married couples while leaving the rest of us to fend for ourselves in the shadow of wedded bliss. Apparently “ALL Maine Families” means only the ones that conform to the matrimonial legal standards that have been failing straight people for decades.

Friends in my social network responded detailing new pressures

to get married now that they can — especially from within the LGBTQ community — plus the pressure to publicly support gay marriage despite their doubts; the pressure to abandon other activist or academic work to focus on gay marriage campaigns and related supportive scholarship; the invisibility and stigmatization of single and particularly older single or unmarried queers; the frustration and invisibility of polyamorus queers who have been thrown under the bus; the lack of any accounting of trans people’s needs; and the desire of many LGBTQ people to share their benefits and resources with whomever they choose as opposed to the closed family unit.

But of course all these reasoned responses, which inherently challenge the narrative of progress woven into the political rhetoric of gay marriage, are dismissed through a simple, if shaky, logic: “If you don’t like gay marriage, then don’t have one.” Ah, the neoliberal fantasy of choice!

As queer legal scholar Nancy Polikoff has noted, “While the movement for marriage equality has insisted it is fighting for same-sex couples to have the choice to marry, marriage is not a choice if it is the only way to achieve economic well-being and peace of mind.”

What Polikoff argues throughout the rest of

her book Beyond (Straight and Gay) Marriage: Valuing All Families Under the Law (Beacon Press, 2009) is that we should be working to deinstitutionalize the benefits of marriage, such as shared health insurance, hospital visitation rights, parenting rights, citizenship status, and so on, by creating family law that supports and recognizes our families and familial networks as they exist and not as they are idealized.

Or, to put it more simply: What is it we need, not just what straight people have that we don’t?

Now that gay marriage is the law of the land in Maine and no one is going blame you for screwing up Equality Maine’s second money-pit of a campaign to shore up the consolidation of wealth, property, and care for a privileged class of gays and lesbians, can we all just come out of the closet about our positions on marriage, gay or straight?

If we don’t change our laws to better reflect and support the diversity of our sustaining families and kinship networks (gay or straight) soon, marriage is certainly going change us. It will change how we organize our emotional, erotic, and economic lives and how we build a larger community—and doubtfully for the better. ^ Ryan Conrad can be reached at rconrad@meca.edu.

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