contents volume 11, edition 1
62
neutral territory
a peek into blogger chriselle lim’s stylish nursery for baby chloe
what’s hot
celebrate
52
dress your bump the blogger way
flattering fashion-forward looks
celebrate
30 molly sims: secrets of a supermodel mom the busy mom puts her multitasking skills to the test 36 fast pass to fitness stay active with these local classes 44 testing...1, 2, 3 a prenatal timeline 46 q+a from kicks to maternity portraits
glow
58 nutrition checklist what you should get your fill of each day 60 q+a from dental visits to prenatal vitamins
beyond
basics
delivery
nest
glow
6 the social club tweet, post and pin us 8 welcome! a note from the editors 12 how big is baby? weekly growth and development 16 the hilarious moves we make when trying to conceive getting pregnant isn’t all candles and romance 24 what’s in a name? top california baby names and what they mean 26 i knew i was pregnant when... how bumpies first suspected 28 baby by the numbers must-know stats
on the cover Photography by Jeff Vespa. Fashion styling by Jeff K. Kim for The Only.Agency. Hair and makeup by Joey Maalouf for The Only.Agency. On Molly: dress: Calvin Klein
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CHILDREN: KT MERRY
love at first sight? not always
Highest Rated Baby & Children’s Furniture Store in Los Angeles by Yelp. 5-Star Rating!
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celebrate
48
glow
nest
what’s going on with your skin? help for all your pregnancy skin issues
basics
delivery
nest
68 6 nursery organization tips how to keep baby’s room neat and clean 70 stroller strides find baby’s first ride 72 your registry plan of attack get what you need 74 registry cheat sheet the list of must-haves 76 q+a from nursery décor to newborn clothing
beyond
delivery
80 labor day childbirth basics 84 top 10 things googled from the delivery room probing questions 86 birthing methods to consider a few ways to welcome baby
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88 no worries (seriously) let us ease your mind 90 what to ask on the maternity ward tour go armed with these questions 92 q+a from birth plans to contractions
basics
94 new-parent survival all you need to know 98 secrets from real moms learn from california moms who’ve been there, done that 100 measles mayhem your questions about the outbreak and vaccines answered 104 q+a from breast pumps to picky eaters
beyond
106 1st birthday basics a step-by-step planning guide 110 8 reasons why toddlers freak out nip that next meltdown in the bud 116 baby appetit the best way to introduce solid foods 122 q+a from teaching good manners to smartphone use
Free Prenatal Breastfeeding Session! Call to sign up!
M-F 10am to 6pm Sat 11am to 5pm
2430 Honolulu Avenue, Montrose, CA 91020 Bellies is your one-stop shop for maternity, baby, and breastfeeding needs.
Since 2003, Bellies has joyfully assisted many families welcome their new journey into parenthood. We invite you to discover us, and hope we can be a part of your growing family.
At Bellies, we believe in generosity and contribution. Every year, we give to numerous local schools and charities to help make a dierence and create a better world for our little generations to come. Bellies partners with charities like Baby2Baby to aid families in need.
Tel. 818.541.1200 • www.bellies.biz TBMV11E1_LASect1(1-16) [P]{LA}.indd 5
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the social club
Find out what’s happening right now @TheBump on Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest and Instagram.
We asked: “What’s your strangest
pregnancy craving?”
“Sausage-andegg biscuit with Sweet Tarts—at the same time.”
“Peanut-butterand-jelly fried quesadilla with hot maple syrup.”
VICTORIA K.
RACHEL C.
“GENDER-NEUTRAL NURSERIES” IS OUR MOST POPULAR BOARD. Moms-to-be can’t stop pinning décor ideas for a chic, neutral room. Get inspired at Pinterest.com/thebump
“White rice soaked in apple cider vinegar with fried broccoli. My husband gags every time I eat it.” AMY M. Like us at Facebook.com/thebump
we’re @thebump
Follow us @THEBUMP Go behind the scenes with our editors for a sneak peek at all the fun we’re having backstage—and at the office!
See what happens at our photo shoots, like this one with our cover star Molly Sims.
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We love testing gear for our Best of Baby Awards—a tough job but someone has to do it!
Our cofounder Carley revealing all the award winners on Today with Kathie Lee and Hoda.
NURSERY: MICHAEL PERSICO; NURSERY DESIGN BY MEERA THOMAS FOR HOMEPOLISH
We’re tweeting around the clock about the latest news and trends in fertility, pregnancy and parenting—so you never miss a beat. Follow us!
Join the conversation now at TheBump.com/community
10/20/15 10:54 AM
Education
Support
Boutique
A cozy maternity and baby boutique and educational center that has everything an expectant and new parent needs.
Classes
Boutique
Breastfeeding 101 • Caring for a newborn • Infant CPR and Family Safety • Childbirth Education • Mothers’ Gathering (Mommy & Me) • Breastfeeding and Sleep Support Group • Baby Sign Language • Music Classes in English, Spanish & French
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Breast Pumps for Rent or Sale Nursing Bras • Nursing Essentials and Supplements • Apparel & Footwear for Infants and Toddlers • Educational Toys & Books • Baby Care Items and Necessities • Pacifiers, Lovies, & Teethers & so much more... •
For more information about our classes and boutique please visit us in store or online. 16101 Ventura Boulevard, Suite 230, Encino, CA | shopthehaven.com | 818.380.3111
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from
k
welcome!
available now !
There’s so much to know and do now that you’re pregnant. This handy guide will give you the most essential info for this exciting and overwhelming time, like what’s safe to eat and do and how to prep for delivery. Want more? TheBump.com has expert answers to every question you may have, along with a large community of other new parents and parents-to-be to chat with. Plus, our mobile app can track your pregnancy every step of the way.
THE BUMP PREGNANCY PLANNER & JOURNAL EDITOR IN CHIEF Kellie Gould
THE BUMP BOOK OF LISTS FOR PREGNANCY & BABY
SITE DIRECTOR Julia Wang MANAGING EDITOR Kellee
eloise
daughter of Julia Wang SITE DIRECTOR
maxon
son of Carrie Lokonon VP, LOCAL SALES OPERATIONS
Kratzer ART DIRECTOR Meghan Corrigan PHOTO AND VIDEO DIRECTOR Kristin Giametta DEPUTY EDITOR Lauren A. Greene STAFF EDITOR Cassie Kreitner SENIOR COPY EDITOR Maria Bouselli ASSISTANT EDITOR, RESEARCH Irina Grechko EDITORIAL ASSISTANT Anisa Arsenault SENIOR DESIGNER Alice Stevens PHOTO EDITOR Darcy Strobel JUNIOR DESIGNER Ashley Castro CONTRIBUTING DESIGNER Renata De Oliveira VP, CORPORATE COMMUNICATIONS Jennifer Perciballi DIRECTOR, PUBLIC RELATIONS Melissa Bach
kaleigh
SENIOR COMMUNITY COORDINATOR Joelle Montier
adaline and grady
daughter of Drew Koloski
COMMUNITY COORDINATOR Brittany Martorella
children of Tyler Yates
DIRECTOR, TALENT ACQUISITION
VP, PRINT AND PRODUCTION Frank Dolphens
ACCOUNT MANAGER
Bethune, Jesse Hardy, Katie Hover, Megan Johnson, Amanda Juhnke, Maria Julie Rodriguez, Carly Steier, Daryl Wills, Sheryl Ziegler VP, LOCAL SALES John Pike VP, NATIONAL SALES Anthony Napolitano SALES MANAGER, LOCAL
Sandra Jackson SALES AND ADVERTISING
levi
son of Abel Martin SENIOR ENGINEER
TEAM Lisa Hamilton (lhamilton@thebump.com),
Kate Buchanan, Danielle Goldman, Jennifer Parliament, Sharon Thomas COFOUNDER Carley Roney
jack
son of Leigh Daly STRATEGY SPECIALIST
OUR EXPERT PANEL CATHY CAROTHERS, IBCLC, lactation consultant and codirector of Every Mother Inc.; ALAN B. COPPERMAN, MD,
Director of the Division of Reproductive Endocrinology and Infertility at The Mount Sinai Hospital; LARA FIELD, MS, RD, CSP, LDN, owner/founder of Forming Early Eating Decisions (FEED); JENNIFER SHU, MD,
pediatrician and coauthor of Food Fights; HEATHER WITTENBERG, PSYD, author of Let’s Get This Potty Started!; CHERYL WU, MD, New York City–based pediatrician PUBLISHED BY XO Group Inc. 195 Broadway, New York, NY 10007 Phone (212) 219-8555 Fax (212) 219-1929 Please note: The ideas, procedures and suggestions contained in this book are not intended as health care or other professional advice, diagnosis or a substitute for consulting with your health care professional. Every baby is different and circumstances vary, so you should consult your own physician and use your own common sense. The author and publisher offer no warranties or guarantees, expressed or implied, in the completeness or advisability of the information contained in this book for your particular situation, and disclaim any liability arising from its use. All product information was supplied by the designers and manufacturers. The Bump has made every effort to portray the products true to their original colors and styles, but we cannot guarantee 100-percent accuracy. Prices and availability may change based on factors including material, regions and season. Nothing contained in this guide should be construed as an endorsement by The Bump of any designer, manufacturer or product featured herein. The Bump Magazine © 2015 XO Group Inc. All rights reserved. Reproduction, in whole or in part, is forbidden without written permission from the publisher. TheBump.com and The Bump magazine are trademarks of XO Group Inc.
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ADALINE AND GRADY: LEAH MARIE PHOTOGRAPHY; JACK: MERI VALENTIN PHOTOGRAPHY
PRODUCTION TEAM Susan Berryman, Lois Brunnert
thebump.com
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how big is baby? See how baby matches up to common fruits and veggies (and what the heck she’s doing in there) week by week.*
week 5
apple seed Baby is starting to form her major organs, including the heart, kidneys, liver and stomach.
week 3
poppy seed Sperm met egg and—voilà— conception! Now your zygote sets off on a six-day trek through your fallopian tube to your uterus.
week 6
blueberry With joints starting to appear, baby is forming arms and legs—and growing new brain cells each minute. Wow!
week 8
raspberry Continuing to straighten in the trunk, baby can move those little arms, legs, and (slightly webbed) fingers and toes.
12
week 9
olive The former embryo is now officially a fetus, and an ultrasound device may be able to pick up a view of baby’s beating heart.
SHUTTERSTOCK (12)
week 7
sweet pea As blood begins to circulate, baby is beginning to develop eyes, ears, a nose, cheeks and a chin.
thebump.com
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week 14
lemon Your fetus is busy with thumb sucking, toe wiggling, making urine and breathing amniotic fluid.
week 15
orange Finally, all four limbs have functional joints. Your fetus squirms and wiggles like crazy, though you probably still can’t feel it. >
i’ m not fat. i’ m pregnant! week 12 week 13
peach While the intestines make their way from the umbilical cord to the fetus’s tummy, baby is developing teeth and vocal cords.
SHUTTERSTOCK (12)
week 10
prune Arm joints work, bones and cartilage are forming, and baby’s vital organs are starting to function.
plum As you get ready for the second trimester, almost all of baby’s systems are fully formed. From here, they grow and mature.
week 11
lime Now baby’s fingers and toes are no longer webbed, and her hair follicles, tooth buds and nail beds are forming.
los angeles thebump.com
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week 17
week 16
avocado Tiny bones are now forming in the ears and eyebrows, and lashes and hair are starting to fill in.
onion Baby’s skeleton is hardening, and those little fingers and toes are now defined with one-of-a-kind prints.
week 18
sweet potato Baby has become amazingly mobile. She yawns, hiccups, rolls, kicks, punches, sucks, twists and swallows.
week 19
*Note: These fruits and veggies aren’t an exact science, but we have a new appreciation for the produce section now.
14
week 20
banana Your baby is gulping down amniotic fluid for nutrition and to practice swallowing. Her taste buds work!
SHUTTERSTOCK (10)
mango Vernix caseosa, a greasy white goo, now coats baby’s skin. Some of it could remain at birth.
thebump.com
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g.
honeydew Baby can recognize and react to simple songs and may even remember them after birth. She now pees about a pint each day.
week 37 to delivery
watermelon Your full-term (yay!) baby gains about half an ounce a day, and her brain continues to develop rapidly.
are we there yet?
weeks 29–32
squash Baby is going through major brain and nerve development, and her energy is surging. Her irises react to light, and all five senses work.
weeks 22–24 SHUTTERSTOCK (10)
n
weeks 33–36
papaya Settling into sleep cycles, baby snoozes 12 to 14 hours a day. Skin is becoming more opaque, and it’s taking on a pink glow.
weeks 25–28 eggplant Baby is getting her immune system ready by soaking up lots of antibodies. Her eyes are forming too.
Get weekly baby updates at TheBump.com/updates
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“I couldn’t believe I’d regularly measure how long my cervical mucus stretched between my fingers. Ew!”
“Honey! It’s 7:02 and we were supposed to trigger at 7! Hurry up—we’re missing our chance!” SARAH C.
“I’d send a text when I got a positive on my ovulation predictor kit: ‘Code: Blinking Smiley. I repeat, we are at Code: Blinking Smiley.’ ”
DIANA Y.
DANIELLE T.
the hilarious moves we make when trying to conceive
MARY S.
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“My husband shouts ‘Score!’ as if he knows when his sperm has made it past my cervix.” TRINA D.
“AFTER SEX I RAN TO THE BATHROOM, AND MY HUSBAND YELLED, ‘HEY! ARE YOU PEEING OUT OUR CHILDREN?’ ” KAYLA M.
“I WOULD LIE IN BED FOR 20 MINUTES AFTER SEX WITH MY LEGS IN THE AIR.” RACHEL M.
SHUTTERSTOCK
“I never thought I’d be calling an IVF clinic to see how many of my eggs fertilized!”
Getting pregnant isn’t all candles and romance.
Chat with other moms-to-be at TheBump.com/community
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the fantasy
He goes out like a light right away.
so S an se N & M
the reality Rocking, lullabies— you’ve tried it all.
SHUTTERSTOCK
n W tio al H
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the fantasy She eats so neatly you don’t even need a bib!
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the reality
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She takes messy to a whole new level.
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First steps, right on cue and caught on camera.
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the fantasy the reality
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He gets into everything (and we mean everything).
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push toy Baby can hold the handle to steady a wobbly walk. 3-in-1 Bounce, Stride and Ride Elephant, Fisher-Price
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what’s in a name?
Need some inspiration? Here are the top picks from the Social Security Administration’s annual list of 100 most popular names in California.
girl it’s a
boy it’s a
Jacob A top US pick for the past 100 years, it’s got both a biblical tie and a cool nickname (Jake).
Sophia Pretty but not prissy, classic but not frumpy—we get the appeal.
Ethan Its strong yet sensitive vibe and
Isabella One of the most timeless and popular choices, with equally trendy nicknames like Ella, Ellie, Izzy and Bella.
Daniel With a whopping 70-plus
Mia A sweetly streamlined version of Maria or Mary. We like to refer to the Latin meaning of “wished-for child.”
storied history in literature and movies make this one a classic.
spelling variations around the world, one thing’s for sure: Everyone’s a fan.
Jayden A combo of two super-trendy
names (Jacob and Aiden), the melodicsounding Jayden has shot up the charts.
Matthew Always a solid choice, but for something less common, consider a cool variation like Matteo or Matthias.
Emma A top name nationwide,
it makes sense that one of its original meanings is “universal.”
Emily English-speaking countries
around the world love it. And why not? Emily is classic, simple and pretty.
Noah More than a decade after The
Olivia A strong yet lovely pick—and currently held by one of TV’s most powerful ladies: Scandal’s Olivia Pope.
Alexander Used by popes, emperors
Sofia A lesser-used version of the ultra-popular Sophia means it’s a little more unique and unexpected.
Notebook hit the big screen, the romantic yet masculine Noah is still going strong. and kings, it’s made history and has translations in nearly every language.
Anthony Not so into the nickname
Tony? Try the more unusual—and decidedly edgier—moniker Ant.
Nathan Nathan, which means “gift,”
has quietly and consistently climbed the charts since the 1960s.
David With a Hebrew origin that
means “darling” or “beloved,” this one couldn’t be more ideal for your new arrival.
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Camila In Roman mythology, Camilla
(with two l’s) was a warrior maiden. How’s that for an empowering name?
Abigail This feminine pick fits in with millennials just as well as it did in the Old Testament. Plus, Abby’s a cute nickname.
Samantha Originating in the South, it gained widespread popularity after the 1960s sitcom Bewitched and has held the spotlight ever since.
Get more name ideas at TheBump.com/babynames
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baby registry
Meet with one of our expert Registry Consultants or register online at buybuybaby.com/babyregistry
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i knew i was pregnant when... Strange cravings, overwhelming odors, early bedtimes and other ways Bumpies first suspected they were expecting.
I had a dream that I went to my car and found a car seat in the back. SEREna O.
My husband developed morning sickness. Christine C.
My five-year-old kissed my belly and talked to her ‘baby brother’ before my husband and I found out! tracey c.
I started cleaning everything. Krisha H.
I ran a full marathon and had to stop and pee at every porta potty (every mile). Simi M.
I couldn’t keep my eyes open past 8 p.m.
Kristy T.
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I walked down the laundry detergent aisle at the store and was overwhelmed by how strongly I could smell the fragrances. Kelly V.
I looked like I had a boob job overnight. Erin S.
I craved beans every day. Every. Day. Jennifer B.
Get advice on the first trimester at TheBump.com/firsttri
10/20/15 11:07 AM
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baby by the numbers The must-know (and just for fun!) baby stats.
5,400
26 78.9
average age of firsttime moms
US Department of Agriculture’s recent estimate of how much parents spend on their child over 17 years
28
84
number of diapers you’ll go through in baby’s first week
The PROJECTED life expectancy for a baby born in 2014—20 years more than a baby born in 1925
$245,340
40
hours baby will sleep in year one
32,400 minutes you’ll spend breastfeeding in baby’s first six months (if you exclusively nurse)
percentage of millennial moms who create social media accounts for baby before the child’s first birthday—another 7 percent sign up before baby turns two
thebump.com
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Get more stats and breaking baby news at TheBump.com
10/20/15 11:07 AM
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celebrate
it’s a girl! scarlett may arrived in march
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ch
molly sims secrets of a
supermodel
mom With the arrival of baby number two, the enterprising model, actress and author is about to put her expert multitasking skills to the test.
By lauren A. Greene Photography by Jeff vespa >
los angeles thebump.com
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celebrate
The Bump What’s surprised you most
about this pregnancy? Molly Sims How completely different it’s been. With Brooks I gained almost 80 pounds, I was swollen and retaining fluid, and I had bad melasma and acne. But since I’d never been pregnant before I didn’t know—I just thought this was how it was supposed to be. With Scarlett, I’ve only gained about half of that and I’ve felt much more energetic. My melasma hasn’t gotten bad, and, the best part, I haven’t had a single blemish this time around.
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TB You’re 41. Did that make pregnancy more challenging in any way?
MS I got pregnant with my son at 38
while on my honeymoon, but I had a harder time with her. People always think, “Oh, you have to take care of yourself once you get pregnant, or when you have the baby,” but your body is like a garden. You have to feed it and make sure it’s fertile before you even start trying. I saw a great acupuncturist who put me on fertility teas, and I worked with Lori Bregman, a phenomenal coach, who really helped me get ready to have this baby. She was my support system, and I swear by her fertility smoothies, which I drank every day. >
fashion styling: Jeff K. Kim for The Only.Agency; hair and makeup styling: Joey Maalouf for The Only.Agency; dress: christian siriano. previous page: dress: Halston; Jacket: Laer
W
hen it comes to merging motherhood and mogulhood, Molly Sims has proved she’s not just another pretty face. Whether she’s hosting a baby shower for military moms-to-be with Operation Shower, promoting her new book, The Everyday Supermodel, or potty training her three-year-old son, Brooks, the model mom, who rose to fame after appearing in Sports Illustrated’s swimsuit issue, knows what she wants and goes for it—and does it all in her signature glamorous style. In fact there’s even a chapter in her book cheekily named “I Made That Sh*t Happen.” That dedication and drive is about to come in handy after welcoming daughter Scarlett into her already-jam-packed world. And true to form, even as she was days away from delivering, Sims was busy at work on a sequel to her book called The Everyday Supermama (in it, she’ll offer advice she’s learned from her two pregnancies) and taking time from her hectic schedule to share some of that stylish know-how.
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celebrate
TB How did you stay fit this pregnancy? MS I did a lot less cardio and a lot more
Pilates. I still did Tracy Anderson and spinning, but I took it much easier. My body just didn’t feel like I needed it, especially in the middle months, and I didn’t want to push it as hard. Some days you have energy, and some days you feel like you’ve been hit by a bus. It’s so important to really listen to what your body is telling you and go with it.
TB Did you have any weird cravings? MS Citrus. With my first pregnancy it
TB So what’s your supermodel secret to getting your postbaby body back?
MS Aside from working out two hours
a day, I wore two pairs of Spanx for nine hours a day for four months after Brooks. It totally sucks, but it helps with the elasticity of your skin. Some people believe and some don’t, but I know it 100 percent helped me keep everything in and I plan to do it again.
TB What’s the best advice your mom
gave you about pregnancy and parenting?
MS My favorite thing is that there’s not
was apples, but this time around I’ve had so many mandarin oranges and grapefruits to the point where I got gastritis. It’s really painful, but I can’t stop! Normally I don’t even drink OJ, but this morning I drank it straight from the jug. It’s so weird.
one path. There’s not one formula, one way to potty train, one way of doing anything. I love that, because moms always think, “Oh, I’m not doing it right!” and that’s just stupid. If someone tries to tell you there’s just one way, don’t listen to them.
TB We heard you and your husband, Scott Stuber, had a process for picking a name last time. Did you do it again? MS Yes. Scott is pretty much obsessed with the name. He wants it to represent not just when they’re a newborn but also how it will sound in a board meeting. He’ll do crazy stuff like announce the name like a football player—“Brooks Stuber, number 59 for the Patriots!” He also makes PowerPoint presentations with columns so he can see first names with middle names.
TB Are you nervous about welcoming a second baby into your life? MS I can tell you the things I stressed about with Brooks like breastfeeding—he was born with a tooth like a vampire!— I won’t stress about with her. I’m actually more worried about Brooks. The time we had with just him has been amazing. I’m so excited for our daughter to arrive, but at the same time I’m going to miss that alone time with him. It’s something I really cherished these past few years.
molly’s style secrets
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Dress Tighter
treat yourself
stick to your style
go au naturel
“The tendency is to dress bigger, but don’t be afraid to flaunt your bump. Stretchy material will be your best friend—I love long, tight tanks and stretch pants that hold you in.”
“You can’t control all the rapid changes in your body, but you can get a blowout, go for a manicure or pick out a new outfit. When you look good, you feel good and vice versa.”
“Just because you’re pregnant doesn’t mean you have to give up on style. You can still be on trend— try accessories! Those extras go far to dressing up maternity basics.”
“Your skin is your body’s biggest organ. Whatever goes on it goes into baby. I use organic products that are free of parabens. I love almond oil for my belly and a lavender oil bath.”
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Get more scoop from Molly at TheBump.com/mollysims
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celebrate
fast pass to fitness Stay active and fit during pregnancy with these fun local classes. Finding motivation to work out during your pregnancy can be tough, but it has awesome benefits. Fitting exercise into your schedule will increase your energy, help you sleep better and can reduce pregnancy symptoms like headaches, backaches and swelling. Plus, it’s a great way to meet fellow moms-to-be and will help you get your prebaby body back faster after delivery.
Moms-to-be practice relaxing techniques and breathing methods to stretch muscles, ease body aches and reduce mental stress. DURATION
75–90 minutes TAKE IT AT
Santa Monica Yoga, 1640 Ocean Park Blvd., Santa Monica
ClassPass gives access to participatin g fitness stud ios in LA for $9 9 per month .
pilates mat
dailey barre
This full-body workout improves balance, posture, flexibility and endurance, which will all be key when you’re in labor. Plus, there are options to modify or intensify moves based on your own needs. DURATION
60 minutes TAKE IT AT
The Dailey Method, 1327 Abbot Kinney Blvd., Suite B, Los Angeles
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A good way to prep for pushing, these exercises work on body alignment, posture and building core strength, with a special focus on tightening and toning muscles in your lower back and hips. DURATION
60 minutes TAKE IT AT
UpRise Classical Pilates and Wellness Center, 929 Montana Ave., Santa Monica
WATER BOTTLE, WEIGHTS: SHUTTERSTOCK; YOGA: THINKSTOCK
prenatal yoga and meditation for birth
Switching up your workout routine is a good way to engage different muscles as your body is changing, and keep you from getting stuck in a rut. The monthly subscription service ClassPass (ClassPass .com) lets you try classes at a variety of studios, so it’s easier than ever to mix things up. Here are some great fitness classes for momsto-be in your area.
Find more local spots at TheBump.com/los-angeles
10/20/15 11:05 AM
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celebrate
testing...1, 2, 3 Wondering what prenatal tests you’ll need to take and when? Consult our timeline. by Elena donovan Mauer
8 to 10 weeks
first prenatal appointment and ultrasound
10 to 12 weeks
chorionic villus sampling
11 to 13 weeks
first trimester screen
15 to 20 weeks
amniocentesis and multiple marker screening/quad screen
High Risk?
tal DNA A cell-free fe screen for n ca st te d bloo osomal m ro ch n certai termine de nd disorders (a ) as er baby’s gend 10. k ee w as early
after 17 weeks
cordocentesis
18 to 22 weeks
midpregnancy ultrasound
24 to 28 weeks
glucose screening test
35 to 37 weeks
thinkstock
group b strep test
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Learn more about these tests at TheBump.com/prenatal
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celebrate Feeling baby kick, maternity portraits, weird dreams and more....
How can I help my partner feel baby kick? You’ll probably start feeling baby move around week 20, but it takes a little bit longer—anywhere from 23 to 30 weeks— to be felt from the outside. If you’re dying to share this new development with your partner, remember that it’s all about timing, so pay attention to when baby is particularly active. “Many babies move more in the evenings or at night, so this is when your partner should spend some time with their hand on your tummy,” says Mary Hirschi, certified nurse midwife at Texas Children’s Pavilion for Women in Houston. During the day, baby can be lulled to sleep by the movement of your daily routine, which is why when you settle in for the night he’s often first perking up. You may also just be more aware of his movements when you’re no longer focused on your busy schedule. Hirschi suggests light massage, music or drinking ice water to help wake baby up and trigger some kicks. But don’t get discouraged if your partner keeps missing out on the movement; getting it down right away is almost an art, and it requires a lot of patience. “Sooner or later, the movements will also become visible to others from the outside, and baby will provide you both with some entertaining moments,” Hirschi says.
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Once you feel baby squirming on a regular basis, it’s also a good time to start recording kick counts. Pick a time each day to track how long it takes to feel 10 movements—it should be less than two hours. If you notice any major deviations, give your ob-gyn a ring and let them know. My friend’s hosting a baby shower for me. When should she send out the invites? The typical baby shower should take place around your sixth or seventh month, and shower invitations should be sent out about four weeks beforehand. The end of the second trimester or beginning of the third is a great time for the shower since you’re likely to be feeling good and looking plenty pregnant with a nice-size bump. But you won’t have reached the point where you’re super-uncomfortable or risk going into labor before the event. Another added bonus? You’ll have time to write your thankyou notes before baby is born—and your time is really at a premium. Remember that before your friend sends out the invites, you should already have registered for gifts since guests will want to start browsing your wish list (create one at Registry.TheBump.com). Luckily, you can find out baby’s gender (if you choose to) around week 20, so you’ll be able to add gender-specific gifts to the list.
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(
I want to take maternity portraits. digital (or both). Images shot on film have How do I find a good photographer? a soft, organic look that can lend a nostalgic Maternity portraits are typically taken feel, while digital has a sharper quality, between 28 and 32 weeks, so there’s not vibrant colors and an overall crispness. much room for error if you’re not happy Think Long Term Can this photographer with the results. These tips will help you also do your newborn portraits? You’re get it right the first time. going to spend time screening a photographer, and presumstart early Look into your ably establishing a level of options at the end of your first trust, so it makes sense to find trimester, so you have plenty of Is it wrong to time to research and compare feel upset about someone you can use again. different photographers, and baby’s gender? Why am I having such crazy ask questions. “This is a Not at all. dreams? What do they mean? great time to get to know your Forgive yourself Dreams reflect your mental photographer before the for feeling state, and let’s face it—you’re session so you can be comfortlet down; it’s a probably a bit of an anxious able at the shoot,” says Alicia mess right now. The stresses Gines of California-based valid emotion. and excitement of pregnancy Alicia Gines Photography. But remember, don’t disappear when you Find a Specialist Browse the it’s based on a sleep. Hormonal changes— photographer’s website to get fantasy of what a feel for her past experience your family should specifically, progesterone and and areas of expertise. If estrogen surges—also contribe, so try to let she has a variety of examples bute to wacky dreams. And it go and know from maternity sessions, don’t forget about your conthose sad feelings stant nighttime awakenings to that’s a good sign. “Experitend to disappear run to the bathroom. Dreams enced shooters will be familiar after birth. come during deep REM sleep, with flattering angles for your and when you wake during pregnant body, and know how this stage, it’s much easier to to focus on your belly while remember those vivid visions. de-emphasizing other (also Although they can be disturbing, odd expanding!) body parts, like your hips, dreams are also helpful. Often, common arms and legs,” says Jennifer Loomis of themes like talking animals, tall buildings, Jennifer Loomis Photography. Consider Their Style Are you hoping for rain forests or sex with strangers represent something artistic and moody, or simple your anxiety about your changing body and realistic? Do you want to be in an interand evolving relationship with your spouse. Look at it as your subconscious’s esting environment, or would you prefer chance to work through these feelings. more formal portraits with a simple backAnd finally, don’t put too much stock in drop? “Find someone whose work speaks to any nighttime “premonitions.” You’re a you and that you can see yourself in,” Gines nervous mommy, not a prophet. says. Also ask whether she uses film or
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Get answers to every question at TheBump.com/pregnancy
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glow
what’s
going on with
your skin Probably a whole lot. And it might not be that “pregnant glow” everyone’s always talking about. By Elena Donovan Mauer photograph by kt merry
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newfound sensitivities
Many moms-to-be switch to lotions, washes and other products that are unscented and have fewer chemicals to cut down on redness and irritation. Skip the scrubs and exfoliants; instead, use a soft, textured washcloth on your face. “You don’t want to make micro-tears on your skin,” says Melissa Schweiger, coauthor of Belli Beautiful: The Essential Guide to the Safest Health and Beauty Products for Pregnancy, Mom, and Baby. “Stay away from triclosan, parabens and fragrance,” she says. These ingredients are potential irritants, and some believe they pose risks to baby.
breakouts
All those hormones can lead to unwanted breakouts, but some acne products are
drink up
unsafe to use Staying w during pregnancy, hydrated ell so before you try is ke to health y anything, talk to your y skin . doctor. Prescription medications like Accutane, Retin-A and tetracycline are definite no-nos. And the jury’s out on over-the-counter creams, since they haven’t been tested specifically on pregnant women. Ingredients like benzoyl peroxide and salicylic acid can be absorbed into the bloodstream, so they’re not worth the risk either. “You can safely use lactic acid, tea tree oil or sulfur to treat acne,” Schweiger says. Don’t touch, pick or squeeze pimples—wash with a mild cleanser twice a day and use steam to clear clogged pores. >
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dryness and the itchies
If you’re dealing with dry skin, drink lots of water (at least eight 8-ounce glasses a day) and use a gentle lotion or moisturizer. In addition, try running a humidifier in your bedroom at night or take a warm (not hot) oatmeal bath. If your belly gets dry and itchy from all the stretching, rub in a soothing moisturizer or an anti-itch topical treatment like calamine lotion.
sun sensitivity
Stay out of the sun as much as you can while you’re pregnant. Your surging hormones make you susceptible to dark patches on your skin—known as melasma, or the mask of pregnancy—triggered by sun exposure. So pull out the big floppy hat, find a beach umbrella and be diligent about wearing sunscreen with an SPF of at least 30 every day. “The safest sun protection to use during pregnancy is physical or mineral blocks—the ones made with either titanium dioxide or zinc oxide,” says Schweiger. “Chemical sunscreens, such as oxybenzone, homosalate and avobenzone, can potentially irritate the skin and have higher risks associated with them.”
stretch marks
Not every mom-to-be winds up with stretch marks. “For most people, whether or not they get stretch marks has to do with genetic predisposition,” says Glenn Kolansky, MD, a board-certified dermatologist in New Jersey. You can try to head them off by gently exfoliating and thoroughly moisturizing your belly, breasts, stomach, hips and thighs often. Drinking plenty of water may do the trick too.
weird and freaky rashes
If you’ve got red, itchy skin, don’t ignore it. Itchy feet and hands can be a sign of cholestasis of pregnancy, a scary complication that can cause liver problems for baby. Your doctor can do a blood test to make sure that’s not causing your rash. Another
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common rash is PUPPP (pruritic urticarial papules and plaques of pregnancy), which often starts on the abdomen and spreads. PUPPP is harmless to baby, but it will be aggravating for you. Fight the itch with oatmeal baths or anti-itch cream. Your doctor may prescribe an oral medication.
bump-safe brands We did the legwork for you and found pregnancy-friendly beauty brands free of toxins and harmful chemicals. SKIN CARE
Belli BelliSkinCare.com Aden + Anais AdenandAnais.com Josie Maran JosieMaranCosmetics.com
Argan balm, $42, Josie Maran
Shoosha ShooshaTrue.com The Honest Co. Honest.com Sophie la Girafe Cosmetics SophielaGirafeCosmetics.com HAIR CARE
Juice Beauty JuiceBeauty.com Madison Reed Madison-Reed.com NAIL POLISH
Butter London ButterLondon.com Bio Seaweed Gel BioSeaweedGel.com
See how to care for baby’s skin at TheBump.com/skincare
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glow
dress your bump the blogger way The blogosphere is having a baby boom! Steal tips from these stylish new moms. BY LAUREN A. GREENE
bohemian chic
Naomi Davis (aka Taza) ,
flaunt your belly in fitted fabrics
mom to Eleanor (age four), Samson (age three) and Conrad (born in December), blogs about her family and life in New York City while showing off her quirky-cool sense of style. Get inspired by more of her artsy eclectic wardrobe at LoveTaza.com.
1
stacked heels are stylish yet stable 2
naomi’s tips
1 Try layering pieces with
your bump. It’s very comfortable and flattering.
2 Bold prints are fun and can help
make your bump appear smaller, as they can distract the eye.
3 A lot of non-maternity dresses work well if they have a higher waistline. It’s a great way to maximize your current wardrobe for as long as you can.
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rach’s tips
1 Don’t shy away from color just because you’re pregnant. The key is to find a silhouette that flatters your growing bump.
2 A slimming little black dress is a must-have for any mom-to-be.
3 Stretchy pencil skirts have been my best
friend during pregnancy. Pair them with a classic blouse and nude heels to elongate your legs.
bright accents add a playful touch to basic black
2
.
1
feminine glam
Rach Parcell, new mom to baby Isla (who was born in May!), didn’t let pregnancy put a dent in her signature style. From sky-high stilettos to slinky silhouettes, the Salt Lake City–based blogger has stayed true to an array of glamorous looks. Browse more of her chic, colorful outfit ideas (and shop for the jewelry she designs) at PinkPeonies .com. >
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urban edge
Samantha Wennerstrom, mom to Elin (born in November), may live in Santa Barbara, California, but she has that cool NYC vibe down to a tee with her monochromatic palette and sleek accessories. Check out more of her edgy looks at CouldIHaveThat.com. >
head-to-toe black is a no-brainer way to flatter your body
2
1
samantha’s tips
1 Invest in a good leather jacket. I got this one in my first trimester and wore it nonstop over sweet dresses or comfy tees.
2 Splurge on
accessories—hats, especially—since you can still wear them all after baby arrives.
3 Figure-
hugging dresses + an oversize coat or cardigan = slimming and comfortable.
bold jewelry balances out your bump
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one-click wonder Growth spurt alert? TAVO has it covered. Designed to provide tons of room for both the little ones (from both head-to-toe and side-to-side!) and you (the basket is spacious enough for your and their swag combined). All while providing a shade haven with its canopy’s incorporated dream drape and connecting to our oh-so-secure Nuna PIPA infant car seat with one-click—no adapters needed. From day one on, the TAVO is a flattering fit for both your lifestyle—and them.
learn all about it at nuna.eu
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glow 1
stripes look extra-cute on momsto-be
3
prints on bottom? go solid up top
1 As your bump grows,
emphasize your best assets. Love your legs? Show them off in a knee-length dress.
2 Shopping vintage? Look for A-line dresses with a high seam just below the bust, which leaves room for your expanding belly.
3 When you’re not
quite ready for full-on maternity jeans, try a cute pair of patterned elastic-waist pants. Just make sure they’re not too baggy.
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2
california cool Joy Cho, mom to Ruby (age three) and Coco (born in October), has been sharing her whimsical, laidback style with the world since she launched her popular lifestyle blog in 2005. While pregnant with Coco, Joy had plenty of fun with her look, pairing bright prints with casual and comfy silhouettes. Take a look at more of her cheery outfit ideas at OhJoy.com. OhJoy.com See more blogger looks at TheBump.com/blogstyle
DRESSES: CASEY BRODLEY (2)
joy’s tips
thebump.com
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We’re taking control of our family’s health.
We’re choosing to vaccinate.
Parenting is hard. The Vaccine Education Center at CHOP makes one part easier with its Parents PACK Program. Go to vaccine.chop.edu/choosehealth to: n n
download a free mobile app sign up for our e-newsletter
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test your knowledge with a trivia game find the latest vaccine facts
Learn more about Parents PACK at vaccine.chop.edu/choosehealth
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nutrition checklist Are you eating the right foods during your pregnancy? Here’s what you should be getting your fill of each day.
you need try these grains (6 to 8 ounces)
brown rice, wild rice, whole-grain bread and cereal, wheat germ, whole-wheat pasta and pita, quinoa, millet
dairy or other calcium-rich foods (3 cups)
low-fat milk, hard cheese, yogurt, collard greens, sesame seeds, calcium-fortified juice, canned salmon with bones
vegetables (2.5 to 3 cups)
winter squash, spinach, kale, lettuce, broccoli, bell peppers, carrots, sweet potatoes, green beans, zucchini, corn, cauliflower
fruits (2 cups)
(whole or juiced) oranges, grapefruit, kiwis, strawberries, blackberries, raspberries, mangoes, peaches, cantaloupe, honeydew, apricots, apples, pears, bananas, cherries, blueberries
protein (5.5 to 6.5 ounces)
poultry, beef, lamb, low-mercury seafood, DHAenriched eggs, pasteurized cheese, nuts, peanut butter, tofu, beans, edamame, soy pasta
uids (at least 8 fl servings of 8 ounces)
water, juice, decaf tea, seltzer
don’t forget your prenatal vitamin
smart choices Go colorful
Fill half your plate with fruits and veggies and keep in mind dark green, red and orange veggies are packed with the most vitamins.
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Make the grains whole
Avoid empty calories
Vary your protein picks
Skip white bread and white rice, which have refined grains. Opt for more nutrient-rich whole-wheat and brown rice.
Of course the occasional cheat is okay, but aim to keep desserts, soda, candy and other junk food to an overall minimum.
Seafood, lean meat, poultry, eggs, soy, nuts and seeds are all great proteinpacked choices to swap in and out at meals.
thebump.com
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Learn ways to eat healthy at TheBump.com/diet
10/20/15 11:02 AM
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d y v T A r w m d
Dental visits, second trimester sex, prenatal vitamins and more...
Why don’t I have the “pregnancy glow” everyone talks about? My skin looks pretty awful. What’s the deal? Sorry, but the truth is not every mom gets the glow; sometimes it’s more like pregnancy pimples. Here’s why, according to Kenneth Mark, MD, board certified dermatologist, clinical assistant professor of dermatology at New York University: shine Blame it on hormones pushing your glands into overdrive. Specifically, an increase of progesterone and estrogen levels in the first trimester is the cause. how to fix it Wash with a mild cleanser. Avoid using harsh soaps or chemicals, and don’t wash more than twice a day, which can actually backfire and create more oil. acne Your sebaceous glands are working overtime now—especially in those first three months when hormone levels rise. how to fix it Acne usually clears up on its own. Until then, use a mild cleanser and ask your doctor about topical treatments. redness If your once-attractive blush has veered off into blotchy, red-faced territory, the culprits are your hormones (again) and a blood flow increase of up to 50 percent. how to fix it Avoid hot, spicy foods— they’ll just up your circulation even more. To fight the redness, slather on antioxidant cream packed with ingredients like green tea, vitamin C and vitamin E.
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I’ve heard that pregnant women are more prone to dental infections, but is it safe to visit the dentist? Absolutely. Progesterone hormone levels are on the rise during pregnancy, which can cause your gums to have a weird response to plaque bacteria, says Chris Kammer, DDS, of Lifetime Family Dentistry and cofounder of the American Academy for Oral Systemic Health. This buildup can make your gums puffy and red, and may even cause bleeding when you brush and floss. If left untreated, plaque buildup and gum inflammation can cause a dental infection, which is particularly scary during pregnancy—some studies link a mom’s poor dental care to premature births and problems with baby’s development. So it’s crucial to take extra care of your teeth at home and go for frequent dental visits. Follow the recommended schedule your dentist gives you for cleaning and exams (usually every six months), and prepare to come in more often if your dentist sees that your gums are trapping more food and bacteria than usual. Any cavities and root canals can and should also be treated to reduce the risk of infection. “It’s better to take care of these procedures by the end of your second trimester, since you may have a harder time staying comfortable during a long
thebump.com
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I t b t W G h d y f I t t p K c d
fl i t S p f v i e i a c a t
dental appointment toward the end of your pregnancy,” Kammer says. As for veneers and other cosmetic procedures? Those should wait until after delivery. And although there haven’t been any risks identified with professional teeth whitening while pregnant, some dentists might prefer that their patients have it done after baby’s born.
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but don’t hesitate to call the doctor if you’re especially concerned. It’s also important to let your partner know about the changes you’re experiencing. Your breasts and genitals are increasingly sensitive, and a touch to the same spot might feel extremely pleasurable one day and incredibly uncomfortable the next. Don’t be afraid to give your partner careful instructions—they can’t know what feels good unless you tell them.
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I’ve reached my second trimester and I’m finally back in the mood for sex, but My innie’s now things feel a bit different. an outtie! Why? When is the best time to take What’s going on down there? my prenatal vitamin? As baby grows, Good news! Thanks to raging The answer to this question is your abdominal hormones and (hopefully) whatever time of day you’ll muscles stretch. best remember to take it, says decreasing fatigue and nausea, The belly button your libido is rebounding nicely Sharon T. Phelan, MD, area doesn’t have professor of obstetrics and from the first trimester fade. much muscle In fact, some women find gynecology at The University these middle months bring of New Mexico Health Sciences tissue over it, so the best sex not just of their Center – School of Medicine. as your uterus pregnancy but of their lives. For some women, that might begins to push Keep in mind, though, that the be in the morning. For others, it against it from changes in your body certainly might be at bedtime, right after the inside, don’t skip your private parts. brushing your teeth. There’s no it easily pops Due to an increase in blood one time of day that’s better outward. No flow to the muscles and lining for absorption or anything like worries. It should that, so that’s not something in your vagina, it can make go back to normal to be concerned about. things feel fuller down below. a few months Some women find this But if your prenatal vitamin pleasurable; others, uncomafter baby’s born. consistently makes you feel fortable. Lubrication and nauseous, you should try vaginal secretion will naturally taking it during a meal. If that increase, which again can be doesn’t help, talk to your either nice or a nuisance. Try not to panic healthcare provider about other options. if you experience bleeding or spotting Some women are able to substitute after sex. The increased blood flow to your two over-the-counter chewable children’s cervix can result in broken blood vessels vitamins in place of the big prenatal at its tip. Avoid deep penetration to lessen pill (just check with the doc first before this disturbing (but harmless) occurrence, making the switch).
Look your best with tips at TheBump.com/beautyswaps
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neutral territory Blogger Chriselle Lim gave us an exclusive first look into daughter Chloe’s stylish nursery. by julia wang photography by Colin Young-Wolff
store diapers in pretty boxes
sweetly sophisticated
With help from interior designer Lucinda Pace of Laurel & Wolf, Chriselle Lim (who blogs at TheChriselleFactor .com) turned the guest room in her Los Angeles–area home into a gender-neutral nursery with a sweet woodland theme. “We wanted everything to be cozy yet chic, and incorporating different textures and shades of cream and French gray made that happen,” Pace says. > los angeles thebump.com
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posh palette
The pair turned to Serena & Lily for the furniture, including the inlaid dresser. “I think it gives a nice contrast to the nursery items, and it’s a piece Chloe can use over the years,” Pace says. A mix of monochromatic accents—a cream rug, white furry stools and an inviting tepee—finish the look. “I don’t like things that are overly girly,” Lim says. “I like to describe my style as elegant, sophisticated and classic, and I wanted the nursery to reflect that too.” >
a cute hamper doubles as décor
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thebump.com
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Karen Ray Photography –specializing in– pregnancy • newborns • babies children • family • portrait photography 323.896.4341 | KarenRayPhotography.com
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hide toys away inside a tepee
animal magnetism
Soft gray woodland wallpaper adds a sweet yet modern touch to the wall behind the crib. “I found it on a blog and instantly fell in love with the whimsical animals,” Lim says. “Also I’ve always loved Sharon Montrose’s animal photography (six prints hang above the changing table) and knew I had to have it in the nursery.”
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thebump.com
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See more of her nursery at TheBump.com/chriselle
10/20/15 10:59 AM
Photo by Jane McCrae
Online Childbirth Classes Receive our free tips and 3 FREE videos on how you can move from Pain to Power!
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10/20/15 10:59 AM
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add a long wall shelf
6 nursery organization tips Keep your nursery as neat and clean as it looks the day baby moves in. By Bonnie Vengrow
When it comes to organizing changing-table items like lotions, cotton swabs and diapers, think outside the box. Literally. Stash supplies in nontraditional, appropriate sized containers, like terra-cotta flower pots, kitchen canisters, galvanized pails or hanging wire vegetable baskets. Things that are open or see-through give you fast access to the items you need while you’re holding a squirmy baby.
2 trick out the closet
Maximize space in baby’s closet by stashing folded clothes or small accessories in a hanging cloth shoe organizer. Since little outfits are short, you can double up on space if you install a double-hang
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closet rod on one side. Or install shelves above and below a single rod and use them to store bins of toys, books or seasonal clothing. Just label your bins so it’s easier to find what you’re looking for.
3 go vertical
Take advantage of the height of the nursery walls, and voilà: instant extra storage space. Place items you won’t use often, or don’t want a curious kid to get into, out of reach on horizontal wall shelves or tall vertical bookcases. And don’t forget overlooked areas like backs of doors. Put an over-the-door shoe holder with clear pockets behind the nursery door or in the closet and compartmentalize all the small stuff like tiny shoes or excess toiletries.
thebump.com
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Mark Lund; opposite: david a. land
1 revamp the changing table
4 containerize everything
Find attractive open bins for the shelves of your changing table and give each one a specific category. Inside your closet you’ll want to use clear, stackable containers so you can see exactly what’s in them. Label them by size and season. Important: Whatever you do, skip the giant toy bin. It just becomes a repository for all those tiny pieces and ends up with stuff piled on top of it, so your child will never be able to open it to retrieve his stuffed animals.
5 tame the mess
MARK LUND; OPPOSITE: DAVID A. LAND
As a parent you need to manage both the inflow and outflow of odds and ends you’ll collect. Every few months, separate baby’s clothes into three piles: what fits now, what she’ll grow into soon and what she’s outgrown. Keep the first
corral toys in a basket
two piles in the nursery, placing the “fits now” group in an easy-to-access drawer or bin and tucking away the “grow into soon” items for future use. Put too-small clothes in storage, sell or donate them, or give them to a friend. Do the same for toys and books periodically—and edit honestly. If you haven’t used it in the last two to three months, you likely won’t be using it again.
for storage-friendly 6 look furniture
Invest in a crib with drawers or buy a crib skirt and hide away a bunch of under-bed boxes, perfect for stashing excess wipes and diapers. Need more storage? Consider a cube system that can grow with your tot and be outfitted with drawers and doors to hold toys on the bottom and clothes on top. Storage benches are also great to stash bulky items like blankets and sweaters.
cube storage grows with baby
Complete baby’s room at TheBump.com/nurserychecklist
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r e l l o r s e st d i r t s
nt, impor ta tyle are s ing s d o n o a h t Comfor n it comes to c st the but whe heels, that’s ju TAN ew w A K ASH baby’s n ginning. BY PAUL e b
UPPAbaby Vista stroller, from $820, BuybuyBaby.com
harness newborn suitability
Since newborns aren’t yet able to sit up on their own, they need a seat that either fully reclines, has a bassinet attachment or accommodates an infant carrier. Make sure the carrier easily locks into the stroller.
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Babies should always be secured in a five-point safety harness that’s easy to quickly buckle and adjust.
canopy
Look for one that’s large enough to shield baby from the sun, wind, rain and any unexpected elements.
thebump.com
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a
, m
comfort
Are the handles adjustable or at an appropriate height for you? Do you have to change your normal stride when pushing the stroller?
growth factor
If you’re planning to use the stroller beyond the newborn months, look for features that work for an older baby.
brakes
Check how easy it is for the brakes to become disengaged—some will unintentionally unlock with just slight pressure.
hinges
storage space
Think about what you’ll be carrying along with baby and make sure you’ll have enough room for everything.
Do a safety check: Make sure features that could potentially pinch baby’s tiny fingers or toes—moving handles, cup holders, sunshades, baskets—are out of baby’s reach or safely covered with cushiony fabric so she won’t get hurt.
size
ease of use
folding
How simple is it to push and turn the stroller? Are you able to manage it with only one hand? How about moving it in a tight space? Is it a manageable weight?
Consider whether it’s too bulky for your home or lifestyle. A bells-and-whistles stroller might seem great in the store but take up a ton of space in tiny boutiques and restaurants, or even at home. It’s great if you can manage the maneuver with one hand, since you’ll be holding a squirming baby with the other. And take note of how small it is when closed.
Shop our top picks at TheBump.com/bestofbaby2015
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your registry plan of attack
With the right strategy, you’ll get exactly what you need and want for baby.
all ready for baby’s arrival!
Ideally, you’ll want to wait until the fifth month of your pregnancy to start your list—it will be less likely for your items to go out of stock before the birth. Plus, if you’re choosing to find out baby’s sex (around week 20), it’s bound to infl uence your choices and color scheme. But make sure to complete your list before baby shower invitations go out.
whom to shop with
This isn’t a solo mission so invite your partner to join you. If they can’t make it, it doesn’t hurt to bring along your mom, sister or a friend who’s done this before— but stick to just one person (so you don’t get overwhelmed with opinions).
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where to register
To make this as easy as possible, pick one or two key retailers that stock all of the items you’d like. Make sure at least one of them has an online registry so you can edit your list from home. Your prebaby to-do list is long enough; you don’t want to make a million trips to the store.
how to prep
Before you go, talk to friends or relatives who are new moms or head over to TheBump.com/community to make some new-mom friends. Get their reviews on the baby gear they use and find out why they like or dislike certain items. Then, while you’re at the store, take a look and, if you can, test them out for yourself.
ALL IMAGES: THAYER ALLYSON GOWDY
when to register
thebump.com
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what to do
STEP 1: BIG-TICKET ITEMS Start with large stuff, like nursery furniture. You’ll likely want to pick out and buy most of this yourself, because cribs and dressers have to be ordered, and they tend to be pricier than the average shower gift. Instead, register for crib bedding, receiving blankets and nursing pillows. Include transportation-related items: a car seat, stroller, and baby sling or carrier. Consider your traveling needs, and whether you’ll want a stroller that baby’s car seat can snap into or if you’d prefer a lightweight one that’s easy to collapse. Head to a store to try carriers and find one that’s comfortable for both you and your partner.
Next, think about baby’s everyday life. How will you feed him? A breastfed baby might not need the nipples and warmers that a bottle-fed baby uses. But if you plan to give him expressed breast milk (while you’re apart), you’ll want the bottle gear and a breast pump too. Now, how will you keep him calm and happy? Swings, bouncers and toys come in handy for fun—and for soothing and learning. Add first-aid gear and diapering supplies as well, including a stylish diaper bag that you won’t mind using as your handbag too.
STEP 2: THE DAY TO DAY
what not to do
It’s tempting to register for a cute potty chair or toddler shoes, but don’t go crazy scanning stuff that baby won’t need for months (or years). It’d be nice to get them, but your friends and family might then decide to buy a ton of those and skimp on the stuff you’ll need right away. So focus on more pressing items, like clothing in newborn and 0 to 3 months sizes, socks and outerwear. Add just a few of those irresistible older-kid things that will get you excited for baby to grow.
add playful artwork!
the list
Get started with the checklist on p. 74.
how to save money
Cost is a huge factor—if money’s tight (for you or for your gift givers), you’ll probably want to shy away from the expensive stroller—but whatever the price, look closely at what you get for your money. Is the stroller easy to steer (and does it work the way you want it to)? Will it grow with baby, or will you have to replace it later? Sometimes purchasing one higher-priced item will end up saving you money, since that’s all you’ll ever need. Also look for double-duty gear: Some playards can be used as bassinets, and some diaper bags can transition from newborn to toddler.
what you really need
Can’t decide which fill-in-the-blank to get? With every decision, consider where you live and how you’ll use your baby gear. If you’re in an apartment, look for a spacesaving mini playard and a folding high chair. If you drive a lot, a travel system (car seat/stroller combo) makes it easy to transport baby. But if you’re a walker, maybe a baby carrier or a bassinet-style stroller is a better bet. In the end, these choices all come down to your lifestyle.
Get more registry advice at TheBump.com/registry101
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registry cheat sheet Your at-a-glance guide to the baby must-haves you should put on your list.
furniture/bedding
health/safety
clothing
crib crib mattress waterproof mattress pads 2–3 fitted crib sheets 4–6 receiving blankets dresser
baby monitor pacifiers thermometer nasal aspirator baby nail clippers first-aid kit infant bathtub 4–6 hooded bath towels 6–8 soft washcloths baby shampoo and wash brush and comb set diaper cream unscented baby wipes 2–3 large boxes of newborn-size diapers
4–6 undershirts 4–6 long-sleeved onesies 4–6 footed outfits 4–6 sleep sacks or swaddle wraps infant hats no-scratch mittens
gear high chair swing bouncer seat or rocker car seat car window shade stroller umbrella stroller baby sling or carrier diaper bag changing mat diaper pail activity mat
feeding 4–8 bibs 6–8 burp cloths breast pump and accessories breast milk storage containers or bags 1–3 nursing bras breast pads nipple cream nursing pillow 10–16 bottles and nipples insulated bottle tote bottle brush bottle sterilizer bottle warmer dishwasher caddy
Babyhome Onfour Babysitter bouncer, $130, ToysRUs.com
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Start your registry at Registry.TheBump.com
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prenatal vitamin musts Check the label. Yours should have:
ANTONIS ACHILLEOS
FOLIC ACID, 600 MCG
Prevents birth defects CALCIUM, 250 MG For healthy bones and teeth IRON, 27 MG Fuels your increased blood flow VITAMIN A, 770 MCG For vision and cell growth VITAMIN B-12, 6 MCG
Maintains healthy nerves and red blood cells
VITAMIN B-6, 1.9 MG
Helps form red blood cells, aids with nausea VITAMIN C, 85 MG
Prevents tissue damage
VITAMIN D, 5 MCG Assists
with calcium absorption VITAMIN E, 15 MG Helps
heal skin irritations RIBOFLAVIN, 1.4 MG For healthy cell function, growth and energy
COPPER, 1–2 MG Helps the body absorb iron THIAMINE, 1.4 MG For nerve and muscle function ZINC, 15 MG Keeps your immune system strong DHA/OMEGA-3, 200 MG
Helps brain development (sometimes comes in a separate pill)
Get more healthy guidelines at TheBump.com/nutrition
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Car seat safety, eco-friendly nursery tips, newborn clothing care and more...
What can I do to make baby’s nursery more eco-friendly? There are plenty of ways to keep both baby and the planet safe from toxic materials. The most obvious place where you can make some eco-friendly choices is with the flooring, paints and window treatments. Instead of traditional wood flooring, opt for bamboo or eucalyptus—both are highly renewable resources. Stick with paint that has no volatile organic compounds (VOC) and contains allnatural ingredients. Benjamin Moore Natura and Colorhouse are two great zero-VOC paint lines. For window treatments, look for natural fabrics like organic cotton and steer clear of mini blinds— they’re made of PVC, which can give off gas when heated by the sun. When it comes to cribs, changing tables and other nursery furniture, avoid items made of laminated wood, plywood, particleboard and medium-density fiberboard—the glue contains formaldehyde, and the pieces can wear down faster and release chemical fumes. Another way to clear the air? Spring for a freestanding humidifier with a HEPA filter to deal with any pollutants. If you buy secondhand or take from a friend, make sure things are in safe condition, and haven’t been recalled by the Consumer Product Safety Commission.
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How do we prepare our pets for baby? It’s all about getting your pets ready in advance. Throughout your pregnancy, introduce your fur babies to noises and smells that will be associated with baby: Turn on your infant swing and toys that make noise or play recordings of babies crying, then let your pets sniff all the stuff you’re buying for baby, like diapers, lotions and powders. Gradually incorporate new rules, like when and where they’re allowed in the house. If you can, train pets not to jump on the crib or into your lap (that’s where baby will be) or engage in potentially harmful behaviors like swatting or nibbling. Inviting a friend and her new baby over may also help get your pet adjusted and give you an opportunity to see how they’ll react around infants. Just be sure to monitor them closely. I’m nervous about driving with baby in the car. How can I make sure she’s safe? The most important thing you can do? Strap your new arrival into a car seat. And the American Academy of Pediatrics and National Highway Traffic Safety Administration (NHTSA) agree. But are you doing it correctly? Read these tips: Look for a good fit Make sure the seat fits in your car as snugly as possible to the vehicle’s seat once it’s latched in. >
thebump.com
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SHOOTS & GIGGLES PHOTOGRAPHY
Every woman deserves a doula DASC is a non-profit professional community of doulas which recognizes the profundity of birth on the human experience and society at large, while respecting the individual needs of childbearing families. We provide a supportive forum for maintaining professional standards, continuing the education of birth and postpartum doulas, and informing the public of the benefits of doula care.
woman visit us online: www.dascdoulas.org email: contact@dascdoulas.org
call: 1-877-4-A-DOULA (423-6852)
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I picked out a nursery color and I’m ready Vehicles and child safety seats made to go. Is it safe to paint while pregnant? after September 1, 2002, are compatible While the exact dangers of painting aren’t with the LATCH (Lower Anchors and known, it’s best to let someone else Tethers for Children) system, which handle this job. All paints have chemicals, makes it easy to install the seat without and though it’s tough to measure how seat belts. Hospitals won’t let you take much is actually absorbed while painting, baby home without a properly installed some exposure is inevitable. Plus, there’s car seat, so take time to install pre-birth. evidence linking high solvent Read the instructions We exposure with birth defects know it’s tempting to just and miscarriage. If for some figure it out, but please don’t. reason you absolutely must Read the instruction manuals Should I wash paint: Set a time limit; keep for both your vehicle and your baby’s clothes car seat. (Check your seat belt before delivery? the windows open; wear long pants and sleeves, gloves and labels for any advisories too.) It’s definitely a a screen or mask; don’t eat or Babies to the back If baby is drink while working; and use younger than two years old or good idea to wash baby’s clothes, water-based paints, which has not reached the highest blankets and any have less solvents than oilweight or height allowed by other washable based ones. their car safety seat’s manuWas your house built or facturer, he should be riding items that will in a rear-facing seat. Also, decorated before lead come in contact keep baby in the back seat, paint was banned in 1978? with her skin particularly if your car has Then you need to take extra before she wears a passenger air bag, which them. Wash them caution. If you have even the most models do nowadays. slightest suspicion that lead separately using paint might have been used, Keep them seated From age a gentle, babydon’t risk it—hire a profestwo until they reach the friendly detergent sional to take care of the maximum height or weight, that doesn’t scraping and removing, leave children should ride in a include dyes or the house while they work, forward-facing seat. After that, until they’re about eight and wait at least 48 hours perfumes. years old, or 4 feet 9 inches, before reentering the room. use a belt positioning booster Inhaling the dust can be seat. Once they’ve outgrown harmful for you and baby. the booster, they should use a lap-andAlso, it’s best to start working on shoulder seat belt in the backseat. the nursery as soon as possible. Climbing ladders, carrying linens, hanging pictures Get an inspection Head to your local and setting up furniture will be much NHTSA office to get your seat-installing easier and safer when your balance, skills checked out. They maintain Child flexibility and energy levels are still Car Seat Inspection Stations in every state to assist new parents. (relatively) high.
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Check out baby gear buying guides at TheBump.com/gear
10/20/15 11:00 AM
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the healthy way to gain baby weight If you started your pregnancy with an average weight, here’s how much you should aim to steadily put on:
fyi
1st trimester 1–5 pounds
Wondering when your bump will start to show? It could be as early as 12 weeks.
2nd trimester 11–14 pounds
3rd trimester 11–6 pounds
total weight gain 25–35 pounds Create your workout plan at TheBump.com/fitness
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delivery
labor
The day you deliver baby will be one of the craziest, most unpredictable days of your life. photograph by Meg Perotti
DAY
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stage 1
labor (aka holy crap, this kid is coming!) Labor lasts from the first signs baby’s coming (see “Signs of Labor,” below right) until your cervix is fully dilated and you’re ready to deliver.
real contractions
You’ll know you’re in labor when you start to have regular contractions, which feel like a strong tightening in your belly and could be super-painful or just a little uncomfortable (it all depends on the momto-be). You’ll know they’re real contractions because the pressure usually starts in your back and moves forward to your lower belly, instead of just being in your belly. They’ll be frequent, usually starting about 15 minutes apart and then speeding up to about five minutes apart.
the countdown
Start watching the clock (use our Contraction Counter at TheBump.com/contractions to keep track). Call your OB’s office and let them know what’s happening. The doctor will tell you at what point to head to the hospital, but be warned: He may say to wait a few hours because it could be too early for you to be admitted.
your to-dos
So what do you do at home? Finish packing your bag and try to relax. Breathing deeply can help your body work its dilation magic, as can changing positions. Take a walk, nap, shower, listen to your favorite music— whatever you feel like doing.
active labor
When your body shifts into active labor, the contractions will come on stronger. You might not be able to walk or talk during a contraction. At this point, you’ll likely be in the hospital (if not, go ASAP), lying in bed, walking around, or sitting in a birthing tub or on a birthing ball. This is when things start to really hurt, and when most moms-tobe opt for pain relief. These strong contractions dilate your cervix from 4 centimeters to 7 centimeters.
the transition
The transition phase is when your cervix dilates from 7 centimeters to 10 centimeters, and it’s pretty intense. The contractions come even faster and more furiously than before, lasting 60 to 90 seconds each. And because it’s an overwhelming sensation, some women feel like giving up. Just know that the “I can’t do it anymore” feeling is completely normal, and you most definitely can do it.
the urge to push
signs of labor How will you know it’s time? Look for these clues that labor is coming: Loss of the mucus plug This thick mucus (like a glob of snot) might exit your body. Broken water It may be a trickle as opposed to a gush. If your water breaks, call the doctor. Regular contractions If they’re five minutes apart, it’s probably time!
You’ll start to feel the need to push (like having to go number two badly), but you shouldn’t push until your doctor says your cervix is fully dilated (as to not risk injury). >
urge to clean Many women find that the nesting instinct kicks in just before.
los angeles thebump.com
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stage 2
stage 3
(aka why you did kegels)
(aka you’re not done—yet)
delivery
the placenta
Once you’re fully dilated and you get the go-ahead to push—push! You’ll get coached as you bear down at each contraction. For some women, especially second- or third- (or more) time moms, the pushing stage may last only a few minutes. For others, it can take a few hours. Then there’s the ultimate reward: baby!
After baby’s born, you’ve got to deliver the placenta. Your uterus continues to contract. (Don’t worry—this normally doesn’t hurt.) This causes the placenta to separate from the uterus and leave the body. Usually, this takes less than a half hour. Then you’re (finally) done. Congrats! Now enjoy that baby and try to get some rest.
yes, please!
pain relief
Whether you go all natural or get drugs, there are ways to hurt less. t wha
it h ow
’s do
ne
sh you
oul
d kn
ow
To deal with all the pain, it’s using the same breathing techniques that chill you out whenever you’re stressed or anxious.
At the start of each contraction, take a really deep “cleansing” breath, like at the beginning of a yoga class.
Get more guidance and plenty of practice by taking a childbirth class. Ask your OB for suggestions.
relaxation techniques
Operating under the idea that pain is a state of mind, you’ll try to get more comfortable and distract yourself.
Imagine yourself in a happy place. Play calming songs, get a massage from your partner—stuff like that.
It’s hard to know exactly what’s going to work once you get there, so have a whole bag of tricks to try.
epidural
Usually a combo of meds that block your brain from feeling pain and (mostly) numb your lower half.
It’s given throughout labor and delivery through a tube inserted into your back.
You’ll be stuck in bed, since you’ll be hooked up to an IV and a fetal monitor to track baby’s heart rate.
Medications like morphine, Demerol, Stadol and Nubain, which are all narcotics.
Systemic meds are injected into the bloodstream or a muscle and affect the entire body.
They only really take the edge off. You may get nauseated, and baby can be exposed to them.
breathing
systemic medication
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Find out what happens after labor at TheBump.com/postpartum
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8/29/13 11:21 AM 10/20/15 10:58 AM
delivery
top 10 things googled from the delivery room Some stuff can come up during labor that you’d never expect. Here’s what you soon might be having your partner look up online. BY ELENA DONOVAN MAUER
how much longer?
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induction medications
We asked women to reveal the most burning questions they had in the delivery room, and by far, the most popular response was, “How long...” “How long will I be in labor?” “How long will I push?” “How long do inductions take?” Your body and brain are programmed to get that baby out, and (obviously) because labor hurts, you’ll be pretty impatient. Plus, there’s a very wide range of how long things can take, from a few hours to days (sorry), so it can feel like a lot longer than it’s supposed to. Unfortunately, there’s no perfect answer in minutes or hours to “How much longer?” They may have mentioned induction in your childbirth class, but maybe they glossed over the details— and may not have brought up things like Pitocin, Cervidil or a Foley bulb. So if you find yourself being induced, you’re liable to have plenty of last-minute questions.
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epidural details
Opting for pain meds? Bumpie Christine M. was surprised the medicine worked only on one side. Erin P. was shocked that getting an epidural meant having a catheter. Epidurals can also be a big question mark, since some women don’t plan to get them, then change their mind in the thick of it. So read up on them, even if you opt not to have one.
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is this normal?
“I Googled ‘mucus plug’ because mine came out, and I wanted to know if it looked the way it should,” says Bumpie Candace R. “It did, so everything was fine.” But it might not be a mucus plug that you’re worried about. It could be about how your water broke or why your labor isn’t progressing or baby’s heart rate dropped. And while we’re fans of doing research and gaining knowledge since pregnancies can vary so much, in most cases, your doctor or midwife will likely have a more reliable answer than your phone will.
5 c-section scenarios
A mom-to-be who has a planned c-section is sure to have peppered her doctor with questions in advance, but if it’s something that comes as a surprise, she might find herself pretty unprepared for the surgery. That’s why every prospective mom should read up on c-sections.
SHUTTERSTOCK
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totally unexpected aches and pains
the bump app is now available for apple watch!
Labor pains in your thighs? A burning “ring of fire” as you push? A stabbing feeling in your back? There are some labor sensations that might be total shockers to you when they start to happen. Unfortunately we can’t prepare you for all of them, as every woman experiences labor slightly differently. If anything feels too weird, definitely consult your doctor. (It’s probably normal, but it’s smart to check.)
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what’s going on with my butt?
Not to totally freak you out or anything, but one of the strangest sensations, Bumpies say, is going to be pain in your, um, rectal area. “It felt like my butt was going to explode,” Anna S. says. “I asked, ‘Are you sure it’s not going to explode?’” No, we promise you it won’t explode, but it definitely might be sore for a while during recovery because of all the pressure and strain from pushing. (Take the stool softeners they’ll likely offer at the hospital to help things along postdelivery.)
SHUTTERSTOCK
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music and entertainment
Surprise, surprise. Some Bumpies found themselves with a little (or a lot) of unexpected time on their hands in the delivery room. “The only thing I Googled in labor was Netflix,” Vanessa B. says. “We watched reruns of The Office.” And even if you don’t think you’re the kind of mom-to-be who wants calming music during delivery, when the time comes you could prove yourself wrong. “My husband looked up Vivaldi’s The Four Seasons for me,” Anna W. says. “He hates classical music but muscled through it—since I was in labor.” Before you head to the hospital it’s a great idea to load up your smartphone or tablet with your favorite music, movies or shows to catch up on.
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episiotomies and tearing
One of the biggest delivery fears is having any tearing or cutting down there. So it’s understandable that you’d be so worried about having either that you might have been feverishly looking them up on your phone. But try to relax, forget about the worst-case scenarios and focus on giving birth to a healthy baby. Remember: Plenty of moms have had episiotomies and stitches and lived to tell about them. And if you happen to be one of them, your OB will help you through the procedure, and you should heal within a few weeks.
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what happens after…?
“I wanted more postpartum info,” Diana C. says. Some women are so focused on getting through labor—and so eager to care for baby—that they forget about what they need to do to care for themselves. You can brush up on postpartum-care basics at TheBump.com/postbirth. Ultimately, though, it’s important to get personalized advice for you and the kind of birth you have. That’s why your OB, midwife, doula or postpartum nurses are such valuable resources. Don’t be afraid to ask them your most probing questions, while you’ve got their attention.
Get tricks for an easy delivery at TheBump.com/labor
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delivery
deli
birthing
methods
to consider
When it comes to delivery, you have lots of choices. Here are just a few ways to welcome baby into the world.
It kind of sounds like something you might see in a Vegas show act, but HypnoBirthing is actually a viable way to deal with labor pains. The proven method, which ideally you should start learning by end of the second trimester, relies on the power of suggestion to help you relax. Affirmations and visualizations—from you or your partner, a professional hypnotherapist or a tape—are paired with special breathing and meditative techniques to help guide your thoughts in a positive direction and naturally decrease stress and fear. Still skeptical? Recent studies show that self-hypnosis can reduce the need for pain meds. HypnoBirthing.com
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Erin Wallis Photography
hypnobirthing
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lamaze
Used by an estimated quarter of American moms, Lamaze is by far the most popular method. You’ll learn a variety of simple coping strategies like rhythmic breathing, massage and position changes, while your labor partner will learn how to support you through delivery. The classes (at least 12 hours overall) will cover a range of topics— what to expect during and after delivery, possible complications, breastfeeding tips and more—so you’ll feel confident and ready to go. Oh, and contrary to what you may have heard, Lamaze is not anti-pain meds; all your options will be addressed in class. Lamaze.org
alexander technique
This method, which teaches posture and movement techniques to ease muscle tension, is actually a general practice that’s been adapted for expecting women. The Alexander technique aims to restore your original poise and posture to improve your balance, coordination, breathing and digestion, as well as alleviate back pain, as your body adjusts to pregnancy. Consider starting these classes during your first trimester to get the full benefit. You’ll also work to coordinate your breathing and strengthen your pelvic muscles in preparation for delivery. Alexander Technique.com
water birth
Ever thought of delivering baby in a Jacuzzi? With a water birth, you progress through labor in a waistdeep pool of clean, warm water. Once an alternative idea, today more and more hospitals are offering this option. You can also deliver at a birthing center or even rent a pool for your own living room. The big benefit: Hanging out in a birthing pool during the first stage of labor has been shown to greatly decrease a woman’s chances of asking for an epidural. Plus, fans of water birth say it makes natural childbirth easier for mom, and the transition to the outside world easier on baby. Waterbirth.org
the bradley method
Natural childbirth is the goal of this method—nearly 90 percent of class participants successfully deliver without the help of any meds. The Bradley Method focuses on selfawareness; it emphasizes relaxation (rather than distraction), and it encourages your partner to play an active part in helping you deal with the pain and stress of labor. During the 12week course, you’ll learn to tune into and trust your body using breathing and relaxation techniques. In addition, the classes also stress nutrition and exercise as a lead-up to a healthy delivery for mom and baby. BradleyBirth.com
Erin Wallis Photography
is it really time? Those weird cramps you get in the third trimester may be contractions, but don’t rush to the hospital right away. You’ll know it’s really labor when: Contractions are happening regularly— and keep getting more frequent.
They continue even if you’re walking, resting or changing positions.
The pain isn’t just in the front; it starts in back and then moves forward.
They increasingly get much stronger—and also feel more painful.
Learn different labor positions at TheBump.com/birth
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delivery
no worries
y !) (seriousl
With all the rushing, pushing and stretching, giving birth seems pretty scary, right? Let us ease your mind. by Elena Donovan Mauer
fear labor will be too painful to bear
that’s a big melon!
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Why you shouldn’t worry Just look around at all those babies out there in the world—and all those families with more than one kid. Labor didn’t scare those moms away from doing it again. Feel confident knowing there are plenty of pain management methods available to you—from breathing techniques to epidural anesthesia. What you choose depends on your own views on pain and on what’s available at your hospital. So take a childbirth class, learn about your options and create an action plan for how you’ll handle whatever labor throws your way. You could opt for pain meds, walking, aromatherapy, massage, soft music, changing positions often or working with a labor support person, like a doula. Whichever method you pick, know it will see you through to that last push.
thebump.com
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fear you’ll
give birth in your car
Why you shouldn’t worry Getting
through all of labor before you can get to the hospital is pretty rare. Remember: A woman’s cervix dilates about 0.5 to 1.5 centimeters per hour during labor—and it needs to reach 10 centimeters to deliver baby, so time’s on your side.
fear your
fear you’ll
Why you shouldn’t worry
Why you shouldn’t worry Well, we can’t say it’s not going to happen. Pooping while pushing baby out is actually pretty common. But honestly, if you do it, you probably won’t even know—or care, really. You’ll be distracted by everything else you’re doing. And believe us, the doctor, nurse or midwife has seen it plenty of times before. Your husband? He’ll be too fixated on that new baby to notice.
fear the
poop in front of everyone during delivery
fear your
vagina will get stretched—permanently
Why you shouldn’t worry All those pregnancy and labor hormones soften your vagina enough for baby to pass through during delivery, so know it won’t stay that pliable forever—in fact, it’s totally possible for it to go completely back to “normal.” If you’re healthy, it can happen pretty quickly—even if you had to get stitches. Some moms we know swear they bounced back exactly the same as before. Others notice a slight difference, but nothing life changing. Encourage the process along by doing Kegel exercises— squeeze your vaginal walls (like you’re holding your pee) and hold for 10 seconds. Do it 10 times, a few times a day. fear you’ll
have to get a c-section
Why you shouldn’t worry If you’re thinkstock (2)
But keep in mind, sometimes no matter what you do, baby needs to be delivered via c-section if mom’s or baby’s well-being is threatened. Your and baby’s health are most important, so if this happens remember a c-section is better than the alternative.
planning on a vaginal birth, there are ways to reduce your risk of a c-section, such as gaining weight healthily throughout your pregnancy and choosing a health provider with a low rate of c-sections (so ask!).
doctor won’t make it there in time
Hospitals and birth centers are bustling places with lots of staff. Worst-case scenario: There will be a registered nurse closely monitoring you throughout your labor. But most OBs and midwives are used to being on call, and know how to get there in time. If some rare hitch happens, there’s likely some (very qualified) in-house physician or nurse-midwife who can fill in.
epidural won’t work
Why you shouldn’t worry An epidural
is the most common pain medication for childbirth, so your hospital staff knows what they’re doing. Still, there are times when it doesn’t fully work (occasionally a mom will say it only relieves the pain on one side of her body). But if this is the case for you, the anesthesiologist may be able to adjust the medication—and don’t forget about the natural pain-relief techniques you learned in birth class. (Remember: Plenty of moms do this totally drug-free!) If you’re worried about complications, know that your vital signs are monitored very closely after you’re given an epidural, and your health provider knows to intervene quickly if there’s any problem. fear there
will be something wrong with baby
Why you shouldn’t worry If you’ve had good prenatal care, your doctor has already screened baby for life-threatening issues and will be able to detect most serious problems beforehand. So rest assured: It’s very unlikely there’s anything severely wrong if the doc says everything’s A-OK.
Prep yourself for labor at TheBump.com/delivery
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what to ask on the maternity ward tour Does your hospital have it all? Go armed with anything (and everything) you’ve been wondering. Ask these questions and find out what services are available (or consider hiring outside help).
hospital hospitality: prenatal classes
W hen we arrive, do we need to check in somewhere first, or can we go straight to the maternity ward? A re cell phones allowed? W hat are the delivery room policies on photography and videography? H ow many people are allowed to be in the delivery room with us? I s my partner permitted to stay the night?
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H ow soon after giving birth can I try to breastfeed? W hat are my chances for getting a private room? Will my insurance cover it? W ill baby be able to stay in my room the whole time? C an the nursery staff look after baby if I need a break? How does that process work? W hat sort of breastfeeding support is offered? How does it work? W here and when are my other children allowed to be with me? Are there specific visiting hours?
labor facilities and assistance
irthing suites b jacuzzi tubs birthing tools fetal monitoring high-risk pregnancy specialists allows a midwife allows a doula other postnatal services
rivate rooms p neonatal unit lactation consultants breast pump rental new mom support group other
thinkstock
C an I preregister a couple of weeks before delivery? Can I do it online? (Getting the paperwork out of the way gives you one less thing to worry about.)
hildbirth c education c-section education infant CPR and safety breastfeeding prep newborn baby care partner prep sibling prep other
Find out what to pack at TheBump.com/hospitalbag
10/20/15 10:58 AM
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delivery Stages of labor, that dreaded postdelivery poop, birth plans and more...
How far apart will the contractions be? Your body will go through a few different stages before you and baby meet. Here’s how it plays out: early labor In the beginning, contractions typically last about 30 to 45 seconds, with anywhere from 5 to 30 minutes of rest between them, says Robert Wool, MD, a board-certified ob-gyn at Women’s Health Associates in Westfield, MA. Don’t panic and rush out of the house right away, but prepare yourself to leave, especially if your contractions grow more intense, last longer and start coming closer together. active labor Soon enough, contractions will last about 45 to 60 seconds, with just 3 to 5 minutes of rest in between. They’ll feel longer and stronger. If you haven’t left already, now’s the time to head for the birthing center or hospital. transition phase During the last phase before your cervix is fully dilated, contractions usually last 60 to 90 seconds, with just 30 seconds to 2 minutes rest between each, Wool says. They’re intense and can even overlap, which can feel overwhelming. urge to push Once your cervix is dilated to 10 centimeters, contractions last about the same—45 to 90 seconds with 3 to 5 minutes of rest between—and you’ll feel a strong urge to push. Rest between them, because you’re in the home stretch.
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I’m scared to poop after delivery. Is it really going to be as bad as I’ve heard? We’re not going to lie—it might hurt. But probably not as much as you fear. And contrary to what anyone tells you, you won’t burst your stitches either. It’s normal to take a day or two (or three) to have a bowel movement, usually due to a combo of weak tummy muscles, soreness and just plain fear. Doing your business just might be a little uncomfortable the first time or two, especially if you have hemorrhoids. To help get you going and make things easier, there are a few things you can try: Stool softeners The nurse at the hospital may offer these to you. An OTC one, such as Colace, works just fine too. Lots of fluids and fiber Drink water and load up on fiber-rich foods, such as green leafy veggies and apples with the skin on. Moving Don’t overdo it—a leisurely walk or some gentle yoga stretches are all you need. A couple of sets of Kegels may stimulate your system as well. Relaxing Seriously, try your hardest to relax. Tension (in your head or in your butt) definitely won’t help matters. If all of this still doesn’t produce a poop, ask your practitioner about using a mild laxative. And remember, it’ll get easier with each successive BM. Now go ahead. We know you can do it!
thebump.com
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cervix and trigger the labor process. Can you tell me what a birth plan is? Pitocin is another common labor med you You can never be totally in charge of your might hear about. This hormone is similar labor and delivery (childbirth is generally to a hormone your body already makes— a pretty out-of-control thing), but a birth oxytocin—and it’s given intravenously to plan ensures you and your partner stimulate contractions. are on the same page as your doctors and The primary risk of any nurses when it comes to medication used to induce issues like pain meds, people labor is that it can work a little allowed in the delivery room, too well, causing too many episiotomies and cord cutting. What’s the contractions inside the uterus. This is how it works: difference If this occurs, baby may Document your wishes, talk between a them over with your doctor, go into fetal distress, which make sure they fit in with ups your risk of needing a midwife and hospital policies, and then see c-section. But this is pretty a doula? rare. When used properly in to it that you, your doctor A midwife is carefully selected patients and the hospital each have a a healthcare with close surveillance, labor copy. Keep in mind there provider who induction meds are almost might be some things on the can give prenatal always considered safe—for plan that your doctor doesn’t care, and a doula both mom and baby. quite agree with, so you’ll be is a childbirth better off talking these things coach who can How long will I actually have out before giving birth. And to push to deliver? remember, birth plans are help with ways The “push” phase of your not legal documents—they’re to manage delivery depends on many more like basic guidelines. labor pains and different factors, including Health and safety of mommy provide support what kind of shape you’re in, and baby always come first, during baby’s how big baby is and if you’ve so plans may change accordfirst few days. ingly. Ready to create yours? received an epidural. Visit TheBump.com to downThere are a few more rules load our birth plan tool. of thumb that can help you estimate whether you’ll push How do labor induction meds work for a little or a lot of time: In general, you’ll probably push longer with your first baby and what are the risks? then you will with subsequent deliveries. Medications used for labor induction When you’re in this final labor stage, every work by either softening the cervix or by minute may feel like an hour, so prepare causing the uterus to contract, and in yourself mentally and physically by taking some cases, both. Cervidil, one common childbirth classes. That way, push comes to type of prostaglandin, is inserted in a small shove (we couldn’t resist), you’ll know what pouch into the vagina next to the cervix. to expect and feel strong and confident. The labor med acts as an aid to ripe the
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Learn the ins and outs of delivery at TheBump.com/delivery
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basics
new-parent survival Baby’s finally coming home! Wondering what happens next? Here’s everything you need to know.
By Nina Carbone photography by Erin McFarland
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head home
what to wear Take the approach of less is more when packing baby’s going-home attire. A simple T-shirt, diaper and baby blanket for wrapping work in warm weather; colder weather calls for a cozy sleeper and some extra blankets for bundling. how to travel Get ready for the car ride home. Hospitals won’t even let you leave without an approved car seat—it should be rear-facing and strapped in the backseat.
know the basics
there are two soft spots One is on the top of the head and the other is on the back. These are points on the head where baby’s bones haven’t grown together yet. Sounds scary, but, in fact, there’s a tough membrane covering the soft spots of the skull. So there’s actually no real risk of hurting baby’s head while you’re holding him. nails grow fast Trim her nails with infant-size clippers while she’s sleeping. Because nails are so small and grow quickly early on, you may need to trim them up to twice a week. Smooth rough edges with a soft emery board. acne happens Baby has your hormones to thank
for all those red bumps on his face. Do not pick or pop them. Instead wash his face up to three times a day with warm water and gently pat dry. eyes can look crossed For about the first six months, baby’s eyes tend to drift, especially when she’s exhausted or focusing on something very close. Talk to the doctor if you notice they get stuck or make any odd windshieldwiper-like motions. earwax builds up Don’t stick anything into baby’s ear canal. If you’re concerned about buildup, talk to baby’s doctor. birthmarks pop up Often called “stork bites,” such marks can appear on places like baby’s nose, eyelids or on the back of his neck. If baby is crying or his temperature changes, the spot may darken. Most marks disappear within 18 months, so if the doctor isn’t concerned, don’t worry. watch for jaundice Some babies—especially breastfed ones and preemies— develop a yellowing of the skin and eyes in the first week. It’s fairly common and tends to go away on its own in two to three weeks as baby’s liver matures, but it does require a trip to the doctor to have it checked.
skin needs moisturizing Dry skin or eczema looks like red patches and can cover baby’s body and cheeks. Limit baths and slather on petroleumbased creams for relief. If it’s serious, the doctor may suggest low-dose, antiinflammatory ointments.
keep baby comfy
don’t over-bundle As a rule of thumb, put baby in one extra layer than you’re comfortable wearing. So if you’re fine in a T-shirt, put baby in a lightweight onesie with a swaddled blanket. decode cries Watch and listen so you’ll be able to learn what’s wrong with baby. “I’m hungry” sounds rhythmic and repetitive, but “I’m in pain” is louder and more intense. hold him right Place his head in the crook of one arm and either wrap your other arm around baby or hold the original arm with the second arm. Keep his head supported. do tummy time Babies spend a lot of time on their backs, but they need to develop other muscles too. To give those other parts a workout, lie down on the floor, put baby stomach down on your chest, and then have her squirm up toward your face. >
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basics
get the poop
first poops are dark Those first few diapers will most likely contain stool that’s black in color and is referred to as meconium. Why is it so dark? It’s the result of all the nutrients baby received in utero. Don’t stress about it. In the beginning, this is normal and healthy. color gives clues The shade of baby’s poop depends on what you feed him. If you breastfeed, for example, it’ll be a shade of mustard yellow with what looks like seeds. The plus is it doesn’t really smell. Formula-fed babies, though, tend to produce poop that ranges anywhere from a shade of yellow to brown or green. Sorry, but this batch is much stinkier. Also keep an eye out for certain abnormal bowel movements, which are fairly easy to spot. Poop in shades of red (this could mean blood), black (with the exception of the first few) or white are all warning signs, so you should alert your doctor.
frequency varies Some babies go a few times a day, while others only need to poop once. Breastfed babies will often poop after almost every feeding so prepare for lots of diaper changes. Most babies poop less as they grow (some may even skip a day, which is usually normal).
mark milestones
2 weeks old Your little one may start to focus on faces a bit more. 3 weeks old This is the point to watch for signs
of colic. We’re talking nonstop cries that last at least three hours a day, three days a week. If you’re concerned, talk to your doctor. 4 weeks old Welcome all the new sounds, such as dovelike coos. This is also the time when baby may begin lifting and holding her head slightly off the floor all on her own. 6 weeks old If baby was grinning before, it was definitely gas. Now he’s happily smiling.
it gets animated Because grunting, crying or turning red is normal when baby poops, there’s no reason to be alarmed. And once your newborn gets used to how his body works, he won’t be quite as loud about it. Remember that this is all new for him too.
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basics
BE VOCAL I’ll relax more with my second child. I wouldn’t let anyone hold my fi rstborn when I got home from the hospital and was so worried that someone would drop her, especially my grandparents. Also, if I want to hold my baby, I’ll speak up! I know people are excited about new babies, but I’ve carried him for nine months, so I need my moments—and I won’t be afraid to say so. MIRANDA K.
I would have hired a helper sooner (I waited until my third baby). Don’t try to be a hero—you need sleep to function and take care of others. This is particularly true if your family doesn’t live nearby. ASK FOR HELP
MARISA L.
secrets from real moms Whether it’s asking for help or shopping for clothes, learn from moms in California who’ve been there, done that.
shop smart WE WEREN’T PREPARED
WHEN BABY ARRIVED EARLY AND WEIGHED A BIT LESS THAN OUR DOCTOR ESTIMATED SHE WOULD WHEN WE TOOK HER HOME. I SUGGEST BUYING A FEW DIFFERENT DIAPER AND OUTFIT SIZES SO YOU HAVE SOME VARIETY. DORI S.
Cook and freeze meals before your due date for that fi rst week home. You won’t have time to go grocery shopping.
prepare food
EXERCISE DAILY
I speed walk for 30 minutes a day while listening to music or an audiobook. It’s a relaxing way to have some ‘me’ time. I also hear it’s an easier, low-impact, way of losing weight once baby arrives. ALLY E.
LISA P.
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basics
measles mayhem What you need to know about the outbreak and whether your vaccination fears are warranted. by ANISA ARSENAULT
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stick to the schedule
Babies typically don’t get their MMR (measles, mumps, rubella) shot until 12 months, but they’re considered in the clear if everyone around them is vaccinated. And newborns have an added level of defense—your own antibodies offer some virus-fighting protection for the first year. After that, babies begin to develop their own antibodies. “Waiting to administer the vaccine until baby is 12 months is ideal, unless you live in a community where there’s an outbreak or if you have plans to travel internationally,” Wu says. She adds that MMR is a live vaccine, which means it works like the nasal flu and chicken pox vaccines—you receive a strain of the actual virus. So if your child is younger than 12 months old and you’re taking her out and about where she might come into contact with others, what can you do?
all images: getty images
As measles spread last winter, affecting more than 160 people in 19 states, so did the level of concern. While it wasn’t a large enough outbreak to be considered an epidemic, it’s a troubling sign. In 2000, the virus was declared eradicated in the US after widespread vaccinations. “Measles are supposed to be totally gone from our country,” says Cheryl Wu, MD, a pediatrician based in New York City. Yet the CDC reports that the majority of patients affected this year—primarily through an outbreak at Disneyland—were not vaccinated. It takes only one person to spread the highly contagious virus, and 9 out of 10 people that come into contact with it will catch it if they haven’t been vaccinated or already had the disease. So what does this mean for you and baby?
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be diligent about day care
Unless there’s a measles epidemic, you probably won’t be able to convince your pediatrician to vaccinate your eightmonth-old, even if she is in day care with potentially unvaccinated older children. If you’re concerned she’s at risk, Wu urges you to be vocal. “Day care centers don’t have to tell you if there are unvaccinated children enrolled. But I would ask to meet with the director to express your concern and try to get a feel for their policy on accepting unvaccinated kids.” A 95 percent vaccination rate is needed to prevent an outbreak from rapidly spreading. If they’re hesitant to speak with you or there’s any doubt, consider finding another day care.
on the home front
watch and wait
If your child does contract measles, what then? And how do you recognize the signs? First, don’t panic. Measles used to be fairly common and many people, particularly those born before 1957, have lived through several measles epidemics. “It starts with a cough, runny nose and fever,” Wu says. “You may also see red eyes and Koplik’s spots [white spots that appear on the inside of the mouth, often on a reddened surface].” Three to five days after symptoms begin, a red and white rash spreads over the face and body. Unfortunately, there’s no medication— it’s like the flu, but more uncomfortable, so it’s really just a waiting game with lots of TLC, extra fluids and, if needed, nonaspirin medicine like acetaminophen or ibuprofen. As with other illnesses, alert the doctor immediately if baby exhibits any red flags like a high fever, abnormal breathing patterns or forceful vomiting or diarrhea. >
check baby’s mouth for spots!
As for older siblings at home, not to worry—children who have received the first of the two measles vaccines will have 95 percent immunity, which is the same level of protection as adults who received the vaccine as a child. (That rises to 98 percent protection after the second shot.) So baby will be safe at home as long as you and your partner were vaccinated as kids (or anytime after) and her older siblings have at least one round of MMR under their belt.
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prevention for the win
So if you can recover from measles, why the hysteria? And why the insistence on vaccination? “We vaccinate because we’re scared of complications,” Wu says. One out of every 20 children with measles will contract pneumonia. And one out of every thousand can develop encephalitis, a swelling of the brain that can lead to convulsions, deafness and mental retardation. A more advanced form of encephalitis, known as SSPE, can affect
4 to 11 out of every 100,000 measles cases. But there’s no cure for SSPE. “If there’s no cure, what’s the second best thing? Prevention,” Wu says. “Vaccines are good for public health and the prevention of spreading viruses, but on an individual level, they’re good for preventing more serious complications from illnesses.”
the truth behind vaccine fears While it’s true vaccines can cause side effects like diarrhea, allergic reaction, rash and fever, it’s a small risk compared to the potential diseases the shots work to prevent. “Significant adverse effects are rare,” says Ari Brown, MD, a pediatrician in Austin, Texas. “For instance, the risk of having an anaphylactic reaction is about one in a million. Could it happen? Yes— no medication is risk free. But the risk is low compared to the great benefit.” What about autism?
Too much at once?
Bottom line
The vaccines-autism tie is an oft-reported but completely false connection, Wu says. While a 1998 medical article first linked the two, it was eventually retracted for fraudulence in 2010. “In the meantime, some 200 additional studies have shown that there is definitively no causation between MMR and autism,” Wu says.
More parents are requesting a modified vaccination schedule to avoid giving infants multiple vaccines in one appointment, but it’s not something doctors necessarily recommend. Testing has shown the current recommended schedule is safe and effective, so delaying shots places baby at risk. Plus it means she goes longer without protection.
Measles is so contagious that baby only needs to be in the same room as someone with it to catch it. In areas with fewer vaccinated kids, infections spread more easily. “I’ve been a doctor for 18 years, and I’m also a mom,” Brown says. “We all want to protect our kids. I vaccinated my children on schedule. I wouldn’t do differently for yours.”
Reporting by Cassie Kreitner and Elena Donovan Mauer
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basics Parenting styles, free breast pumps, picky eaters and more…
My partner and I were raised differently, so we often disagree on parenting. How do we get on the same page? Every couple is bound to clash on a few of the decisions they need to make together. “There’s no one right way to do almost anything as a parent,” says Shoshana Bennett, PhD, a clinical psychologist. “It’s really important to respect each other’s ideas. You don’t have to agree, but you should avoid being critical.” Try these tips: Ask, “Is this a big deal?” If you disagree on something little, like how to dress baby or whether to bathe him in the sink or the tub, it’s not worth a fight. “If it’s a huge safety or health issue, then it’s important to discuss it,” Bennett says, “but arguments between parents are typically more about parenting style.” Stay calm and listen Don’t flip out as soon as you hear your partner’s take. React as calmly as you can. If it’s 2 a.m. and baby’s screaming, table the discussion for daylight hours when you feel sane enough to have a civil conversation. Then, ask why. You might find your partner has a good reason for their stance. Give your partner equal footing Accept that your partner has a different style than you do. Bennett says it’s actually good for babies to be exposed to people who speak in different intonations, point out
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different things to baby and involve him in a variety of activities—all this helps. Start fresh Most of us swear we’re going to raise our kids differently when we become parents. Then we become parents...our parents. Why not focus on the fact that you’re a new family and find new ways to interact with one another or start traditions together? How do I find a good pediatrician? Good old-fashioned word of mouth is usually the best way to find a great doctor. No matter what medical school a pediatrician graduated from, it really all boils down to patients’ reports. You can’t go wrong by asking people you know for advice—you’ll be sure to get an honest answer and a recommendation from someone you trust. Also try searching on your insurance company’s website to get a list of in-network local doctors. Once you have several possible candidates, verify that your choices are members of the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP). That means they’ll be up to date on the latest developments in child health. Before you start making calls and setting up consultations (don’t worry, they’re usually free), prepare a list of questions to ask each doctor.
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(
Some things to consider: What are their Is it true I can get a free breast pump hours? Are there sick and well waiting through insurance? rooms? Do they have any subspecialties? Yes, you may be able to—it depends on what yours covers. Through the AffordDo their views on bottle feeding or able Care Act (aka ObamaCare), people vaccinations align with yours? A round of are supposed to be getting better access interviews will weed out the bad to preventive care, and that ones, and help you hone in on includes helping women pay a good one. And try not to for lactation support and stress too much about it—if it breastfeeding equipment. turns out that the pediatrician How long after you picked isn’t quite working Check your plan “Every birth will it hurt insurer and plan is different,” out, you can simply find a new down there? one and move on. says Amanda Cole, owner of Yummy Mummy, a New York Your rate of My son is such a picky eater. recovery depends City store and online retailer How can we make sure he’s that’s an in-network provider on your physical eating enough—and healthy? of pumps for several insurcondition and As long as your child is ance companies. “Pregnant how much birth women and new moms are developing normally and not beat you up, but usually eligible for a standard sick all the time there’s most moms feel electric pump for free or no reason to be too alarmed. a whole lot better with a co-pay.” “Kids are smarter than you by six weeks think about eating, and they Find an in-network provider postpartum. won’t starve themselves,” Your breast pump may be says Vicki Papadeas, MD, at covered but only if you buy it Every day will LaGuardia Place Pediatrics in get a little better, in the right place, so get the New York City. “Often they’ll list from your insurance carrier so just take it eat in waves—tons of fruits one achy morning of its in-network providers, one day, then none the next— along with any necessary at a time. and things even out over a paperwork. In some cases, week or two.” And don’t forget, your insurance company will children have experienced only work with a medical supply limited tastes and flavors so it may take company to handle the transaction inspecting new foods for several meals (usually a manual pump). In other cases, before they’ll actually try them. Take the you may have to pay first, fill out some pressure off mealtime by making it fun and forms and receive a reimbursement later. engaging. Let him feed himself a variety Take advantage Breastfeeding your of finger foods and pay attention to the newborn for at least a year is recomcolors and textures he enjoys most, so you mended by the AAP—and having a can introduce similar foods. If you’re still good-quality breast pump can make stressed, talk your pediatrician about other sticking with it after you have to head ways you can help expand baby’s palate. back to work much easier.
(
Study up on newborn basics at TheBump.com/baby
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beyond
st
birthday basics
Baby has only one first birthday— so you want to make that party count. Get started here with this step-by-step planning guide. By Sarah Yang photography By Ashlee Culverhouse
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when to throw it
You want your friends and family to be able to attend the party, so if baby’s birthday falls on a weekday, the weekend before or after is a good bet. Plan the party for after naptime, so she’s well rested (and less likely to be in a bad mood). Limit the bash to a few hours rather than an all-day affair—parties can be overwhelming for small children, especially if there are a lot of guests. And hold the party in a venue that has a private quiet space, so if baby needs a breather or gets fussy, you can take her there.
where to have it
Hosting the event at home means guests can hang out longer and baby has a place to nap if she gets tired. Plus, she might be more comfortable in familiar surroundings. Booking a restaurant or even a children’s play space could be costly, but the big advantage is that you won’t get stuck with cleanup. There’s also no prep to deal with, and you won’t have to entertain guests as much. Otherwise, why not head to your favorite park? You can set up food and decorations at a picnic table (and some parks have barbecue grills). Plus, there’s already a play structure there to occupy the kids—just make sure that you have enough adults to keep an eye on them. Check with the local parks department to see if you need a permit or have to make a reservation for the space.
RSVP
send invites the party
4 weeks before
how many to invite
If it’s going to be intimate, the party might include grandparents, aunts and uncles, and a few baby friends from your play groups or classes. If you want to go all out and have a huge bash, invite extended family, friends, coworkers who have kids and so on. The size of your party ultimately depends on your own preferences, as well as your budget—obviously the more people you have, the more food, beverages and space you’re going to need. Begin with your must-invite list: the people you wouldn’t celebrate without. If you can add to your head count, keep going.
how to choose a theme
Does baby have a beloved elephant toy she sleeps with every night? Try zoo animals as a birthday theme. If your favorite part of the day is reading to her at night, pepper the party with books. Or you can take inspiration from the season whether you’re having an indoor or outdoor party. >
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beyond
how to budget and diy
If you don’t want to spend a fortune on baby’s birthday party, DIY is your best bet. Bake your own cake, have the party at home and shop at closeout stores (they often have great toys and stuffed animals for low prices). If you’re making your own cupcakes or treats, you can turn decorating them into an activity for guests. For invites, it’s fine to go paperless, which also includes RSVP tracking.
what to serve
Definitely have baby’s favorite food on hand. Foods and snacks that are healthy and can be eaten on the go are also good choices. For kid guests, serve things like mini grilled cheese sandwiches, chicken fingers or single-serve boxes of raisins. For adults, try sandwiches, wraps and veggies with dip. Double-check if anyone has eating restrictions or food allergies.
party favors
You can give away fancy swag bags or keep it small with little harmonicas or a bath toy. Or consider a favor that the whole family can take home, like a photo frame complete with a picture snapped and printed at the party. When it’s time to hand out the favors, give the goodies to parents first just in case they want to remove a few items or candies.
party on Ready to celebrate? Customize your cake, then host your party at one of these local hot spots. Hansen’s Cakes
With personalized designs limited only by your imagination, these whimsical cakes are structural— and sweet—masterpieces. Multiple locations, HansenCakes.com Giggles N’ Hugs
Choose from kid-approved themes like superhero, princess, jungle and more in this fun restaurant and party space. Multiple locations, GigglesNHugs.com America’s Teaching Zoo
Go wild! Explore the zoo, meet the animals and enjoy a live animal show, then cut the cake in a reserved outdoor picnic area. (805) 378-1441, Zoo.MoorparkCollege.edu Dragonfly DuLou
Get silly and creative through fun games and interactive activities in an indoor space and large predecorated private courtyard. (323) 665-8448, DragonflyDuLou.com
fun candy idea!
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beyond
8 reasons why
toddlers freak out The braid in her hair comes undone and it sends her into a tailspin. He hears a loud noise and screams for an hour. “Toddlers aren’t miniature grown-ups,” says child psychologist and author Heather Wittenberg. “They really are a different breed. They’re built to freak out. Plus, they change so rapidly, it can be hard to keep up.” So while some flip outs are par for the course, you might be able to head off others if you understand the reasons behind them.
they get famished—fast
1
Your body may be predictable—three square meals and a snack or two and you’re satisfied all day long—but toddlers can process food very unpredictably, depending on their activity levels and whether or not they’re going through a growth spurt, Wittenberg says. Plus, you can’t just say, “Oh, she’ll eat when she’s hungry,” because toddlers usually aren’t into the idea of putting down their toys to sit still in a high chair. And what does hunger equal? Crankiness, of course. >
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uh-oh! is someone “hangry”?
FROM TOP: GETTY IMAGES; JADE + MATTHEW TAKE PICTURES
You never know what’s going to put your toddler over the edge. But with a little planning and a lot of patience you may be able to nip that next meltdown in the bud. BY JENNA MCCARTHY
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beyond
WHAT TO DO Provide snacks with staying power. Regular balanced snacks with protein can help prevent hungerrelated meltdowns. “I see too many parents falling into the trap of, ‘Oh he’ll only eat raisin toast,’” Wittenberg says. “Remember that you’re the parent. Say ‘You can have raisin toast as soon as you finish your eggs or broccoli.’ There may be a bit of a struggle, but a balanced diet is important and you need to take back control if you’ve lost it.”
they need more sleep than you may realize
Between bedtime and naps, toddlers need 12 to 14 hours of sleep a day, and most get far less than that. “A toddler’s sleep needs fluctuate with their development and activity level,” Wittenberg explains. “If your child routinely falls asleep in the car, especially at non-nap times, it’s a sign he’s not getting enough sleep.” WHAT TO DO Stick to a regular nap schedule. Sure, it’s okay to interrupt the schedule when something special is happening, but toting a tired toddler on endless errands is a recipe for chaos.
sleep is key to your sanity
2
they’ve got super senses
they’re immature
4
Explaining that your toddler will get frostbite if she wears her mermaid costume in the snow might seem rational to you, but she hasn’t fully developed the ability to reason. WHAT TO DO Pick your battles. “If it’s not a health or safety risk, allowing your child the occasional irrational indulgence helps her feel like she’s in control,” Wittenberg says. But if what she wants is out of the question, you’ve got to lay down the law. “If you want to go out, you have to put on your shoes and jacket,” you might tell her. “If you want to lie on the floor and freak out, that’s okay too, but I’ll be in the other room.” Eventually, she’ll learn she needs to modify her behavior to get what she wants. >
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Since a toddler’s neurological system is still developing, they can be hypersensitive to touch and sound, Wittenberg says. “Things that seem perfectly benign to us can feel excruciating to some children,” she notes. WHAT TO DO If you know your child is super-sensitive, pay attention to the situations that cause a big reaction and try to avoid them as much as you can. The good news is that most (but not all) kids grow out of extreme sensitivities.
thebump.com
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how much sleep does baby need? All babies are different, of course, but here are some general guidelines from the Dream Team Baby sleep consultants.
illustrations: kate larsen
age
daytime sleep
nighttime sleep
total
0 to 4 months
various naps
various hours
15–18 hours
4 to 6 months
3–4 hours (3 naps)
11–12 hours
14–16 hours
2–3.5 hours (2 naps)
11–12 hours
13–15.5 hours
12 to 18 months
1.5–3 hours (1–2 naps)
11–12 hours
12.5–15 hours
18 to 36 months
1.5–3 hours (1 nap)
11–12 hours
12.5–15 hours
6 to 12 months
Solve baby’s sleep problems at TheBump.com/sleep
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beyond
they depend on routine
Toddlers are very busy figuring out how the world works; it’s no wonder they thrive on order and routine. So if you change that routine, even a little bit, you can expect a fit. “Behavior that’s seen as a psychological disorder in adulthood is perfectly normal in toddlerhood,” Wittenberg says. WHAT TO DO Give your child as much advance warning as possible. And be prepared to repeat over and over, “You’re right. Usually we do it that way, but today we’re going to do it this way.”
5
use crayons to communicate
they can’t verbally express themselves
6
Your toddler might have a lot of words in his vocabulary, but they’re still not enough to get his point across every time. And that’s overwhelmingly frustrating—for both of you. WHAT TO DO Ask your toddler if he can express himself in another way. Maybe there’s something he can draw or something he can show you to help get his message across. When everything else fails, tell him he’s going to have to put the idea away and go do something else, and that you both can try again later.
they’re self-centered
Your toddler may seem sweet, but the odds that she’s got a full capacity for empathy are pretty low. This is a skill that builds as she grows, but for now, it’s normal for her to believe the world revolves around her. When you say it’s time to leave the park and she refuses, she’s not being defiant—she just wants what she wants. WHAT TO DO Sure, you can offer a reward (“I have your favorite fruit snacks in my purse and we can share them in the car”), but avoid an outright bribe (“I’ll get you a milk shake at the drive-through if you stop screaming”), which will just make her want to act up again in the future.
7
they need to have some control
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GETTY IMAGES
8
You’re constantly telling your child where to go, what to do and when. So he may be desperate to have even an ounce of control over his own actions. For example, you tell him, “I think you need to go to the potty,” and he’s bound to say, “No I don’t, and you can’t make me!” WHAT TO DO Remind him, but in a way that says he’s still the boss of him. Try, “I’ll bet you’ll feel better when you decide to go potty, but it’s your body and you’re in charge of it.” This gives him the space to make the decision himself.
Get advice on toddlers at TheBump.com/behavior
10/20/15 10:56 AM
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This inspirational book contains a daily scriptural verse and reflections to inspire a Mother with Child to be equipped to build up her family in love and virtues. The daily encouragements cover the average 40 weeks (280 days) of gestation, along with a description of the baby’s development. Purchase at Amazon or Barnes & Noble: ebook $3.99 and soft cover $17
MotherwithChildPregnancy.com
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beyond
baby appetit
the basics
when to begin Wait until baby is at least four months old to start on the solid stuff. He needs to have reached certain developmental milestones like holding his head up, sitting up with support and overcoming the extrusion reflex, which causes them to spit out solids. You’ll also want to get the okay from the pediatrician before you begin. She may recommend waiting until closer to six months to be sure your child is ready. Plus, a study published by American Academy of Pediatrics suggests that early introduction of solid food (before 17 weeks) may be linked to an increased risk of food allergies. The timing of baby’s first solid feeding will also depend on how well she’s gaining weight on breast milk or formula—and whether she may need added iron and nutrients to her liquid diet.
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what to feed So what should that exciting first taste of solid food be? For years, ironfortified rice cereal, mixed with a generous helping of formula or breast milk, was the experts’ choice, but now both nutritionists and doctors say you can take your pick. “The order of introducing foods is no longer rigid—any order is fine,” says Jennifer Shu, MD, pediatrician and coauthor of Food Fights. “I’m a fan of starting with a root vegetable such as carrot or sweet potato, because they’re naturally sweet and puree to a smooth texture,” says Annabel Karmel, author of 40 recipe books and creator of the app Annabel’s Essential Guide to Feeding Your Baby & Toddler. “No-cook purees such as mashed banana or avocado are also fantastic and are packed full of nutrients.” Other popular first foods are pureed apples, pears, green
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gabrielle revere/getty images; opposite: Walter B. McKenzie/getty images
Time for solid foods? Here’s all the know-how you need to feed baby right from the start. by lisa milbrand
beans, butternut squash, and oatmeal or barley cereal. Just be careful about the consistency of baby’s food. “Start small and thin—your baby is used to breast milk or formula, which is a liquid consistency,” says Lara Field, MS, RD, CSP, LDN and founder of FEED, a pediatric nutrition counseling business. When transitioning to solids you don’t want to risk her choking, so start off with more liquid-y foods that will easily run off the spoon. Once baby’s eating runny foods without any problem, you might want to introduce pureed beef or lamb (just be sure it’s very well pureed), which is high in that essential iron. “For breastfed babies, introducing meat early has some advantages, since iron is better absorbed from meat than it is from fortified cereal,” Shu says. how to do it
START WITHOUT THE SPOON To get baby
used to the new flavors and textures, begin by dipping a clean finger into the puree and feeding her from your finger, which is softer, more familiar and less intrusive than a hard spoon.
drop cloth to lay down under the high chair to make cleanup a cinch. KEEP TRYING FOODS BABY REJECTS It may take several feedings before baby decides she actually does like pureed green beans, so keep trying. You can also mix a less-loved food in with a favorite to see if that helps entice her. what to watch
INTRODUCE NEW FOODS CAREFULLY Go
slow. Introduce something new every few days. That way, if your child develops an allergic reaction, it will be easier to find the cause. BEWARE OF A BAD REACTION If baby develops a rash, vomiting, diarrhea or severe gas, it may be a sign of a food intolerance or allergy. Stop giving him the food immediately and call his pediatrician. HOLD OFF ON MILK AND HONEY Many babies have a hard time digesting cow’s milk, and honey carries a risk of infant botulism if given to baby, so hold off until after the first birthday. (Other dairy products, such as yogurt and cheese, are fine after nine >
GABRIELLE REVERE/GETTY IMAGES; OPPOSITE: WALTER B. MCKENZIE/GETTY IMAGES
DON’T EXPECT BABY TO POLISH IT ALL OFF
Baby may eat only a tablespoon or two at a time for the first few weeks as she adjusts to new textures and tastes. “Take it slow,” Karmel advises. “When you first start introducing baby to solids, it’s not about quantity—it’s just about getting him used to the idea of food.” WATCH FOR SIGNS HE’S DONE Baby can’t say he’s full yet, so pay attention to his body language. If he’s grabbing at the spoon, spitting out food or clamping his lips shut, he’s probably trying to signal to you that he’s stuffed. BE READY FOR A MESS There are bound to be spills, drips and splashes as you get the hang of feeding baby—and baby gets the hang of eating. But don’t let it stress you out. Keep washcloths or paper towels handy, and consider getting a wipe-clean
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beyond
months though, because the lactose in them has been broken down.) DON’T FREAK ABOUT ALLERGIES
Unless you or your partner have severe food allergies, it’s okay to feed baby common allergens like wheat, shellfish, fish and soy. Just watch closely the first few times for signs of reaction. buy baby food Store-bought baby food may get a bad rap, but there are actually some healthy options available. See how to suss out the right ones for baby. COUNT THE INGREDIENTS As you read labels, remember the fewer ingredients on the list, the better—ideally, all applesauce should have in it is apples. Jarred baby foods may need a few preservatives to pro-long shelf life, but if you see several unpronounceable chemicals, it’s a good idea to avoid it. You can also ask your pediatrician to recommend some brands to try. CHECK THE PROTEIN LEVELS Many packaged “meat” baby foods actually have very little protein and iron in them, which means they won’t have the nutrients baby needs. You might be better off cooking up and pureeing your own chicken and beef. SKIP THE SALT AND SUGAR Babies don’t need salt or sugar—and baby food shouldn’t have them. Period. DIY baby food Making your own baby food is actually easier than it seems—just blend up a few simple steamed veggies, fruits or well-cooked meats and you’re in business. It’s also a way to maintain more control over what’s going into baby’s mouth, and may save you money over the pricey jarred foods. DIY-ing it may even help head off future picky eating (which toddlers are notorious for). “The type of food in premade baby food is actually pretty limited compared with all the different fruits and vegetables available at the grocery
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store,” says Bridget Swinney, MS, RD, LD and author of Baby Bites: Everything You Need to Know About Feeding Babies and Toddlers in One Handy Book. “Leafy greens like kale, spinach and Swiss chard are rich in lutein, an antioxidant important for eye health. You don’t see those vegetables in a jar. Infancy is a perfect time for babies to try many different foods to encourage them to eat a wide variety in the toddler years.” Every week, introduce baby to new fruits and veggies. ready to give DIY a shot? keep these tips in mind: START SIMPLE While there are amazing baby-centric steam-and-puree systems out there (and many moms swear they make their lives easier), the pricey gadgets aren’t necessary for making baby food. Odds are you already have everything you need: a microwave or stove top to steam the foods and a blender, food mill or food processor to turn it into puree. MAKE BIG BATCHES You don’t have to cook fresh baby food every night. Instead, make large batches of a single type of puree and freeze it in smaller servings—use ice cube trays for perfect one-ounce portions. Then, simply thaw out baby’s meal by placing it in the fridge and then warming it slightly on the stove. To change it up, you can mix and match purees every night— try apple and banana puree one night and apple and chicken another. Carve out an hour over the weekend and make all of baby’s food for the entire week. >
SHUTTERSTOCK
prep for meals
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let baby have what you’re having It’s okay to share your food with baby. She may not be ready for a bite of your curry or Buffalo wings, but if you’re serving something simple—steamed broccoli, mashed potatoes, grilled chicken—puree some of it for baby to try. Just remember to season your meal after you have set aside a serving for baby—spices (besides salt) are fine, but you might want to take it slow to watch for allergies. step it up a notch Once baby’s eating the basics, challenge his taste buds while giving him the nutrition he needs. Introduce healthy options, like pureed acorn squash or zucchini or anything else you find in the produce section. You never know—he may love them for life.
baby super foods Breast Milk
Avocados
Meat
Yogurt
Hands down, the best food for baby during the first year is breast milk, so try to keep nursing as long as you can, even once you start giving solids.
This fruit is loaded with monounsaturated fats (that’s the good kind!) and they’re supereasy to prepare. Simply wait until they’re ripe and mash with a fork.
Chicken, turkey and beef are all excellent sources of protein, as well as iron, riboflavin, niacin, zinc and vitamin B6. Puree them well to prevent choking.
Plain whole-milk yogurt is another protein-rich option after nine months. Plus, it contains calcium and beneficial live active cultures (good for digestion).
Iron-Fortified Cereal
Sweet Potatoes
Beets
Cheerios
These tubers are rich in beta-carotene, which the body converts to vitamin A, and that’s important for vision, skin, normal growth and protection from infections.
Roasted, mashed beets are a delicious source of folic acid and high in potassium and beta-carotene. Plus, they’re a sweet veggie that most babies take a liking to quickly.
Those little Os in the yellow box are not just a fun finger food, they’re also a good source of fiber and calcium. Offer them up around nine months, when baby is starting to chew.
Iron-rich foods are essential. Rice cereal, oatmeal and barley are good options—just start with a single-grain formula, which is easier on baby’s tummy.
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See what these nutritious noshes have to offer.
Discover more feeding tips at TheBump.com/babyfood
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toddler Sleep schedules, good manners smartphone use and more...
I’m worried my toddler isn’t sleeping enough. What’s a good sleep schedule? Every toddler is different, but following some basic sleep guidelines can keep your toddler healthy and happy—as well as do wonders for your sanity. The total number of hours your child sleeps is incredibly important. Even losing just one hour of appropriate sleep time will compromise a child’s alertness and brain functioning as well as increase fatigue in the early evening (and as you probably know too well, a tired toddler equals a cranky toddler). Start with a nighttime bedtime routine, then aim for 11 to 12 hours of sleep at night, plus one or two daily naps, which will add another one to two hours of sleep to your child’s total. So if your toddler gets up at 7 a.m., a morning nap at 10 a.m. and an afternoon nap at 2 p.m. might work well. When your toddler transitions to just one nap (usually when they’re between 12 and 18 months), cut the difference in the middle: Plan a nap around 12 p.m. Thirteen to 14 hours of sleep a day might seem like a lot to you, but it’s essential for your child’s growing body and brain development. And don’t forget that you should sleep for seven to nine hours too—a well-rested parent is just as important as a well-rested toddler.
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How can I start to teach my two-year-old good manners? Having what adults might think of as “good manners” is a completely foreign concept to most toddlers—it’s right up there with taxes and mortgages. But that doesn’t mean you can’t start to lay the groundwork early. A two-year-old might not get why on earth he has to share his favorite toy with a friend on a playdate, or split a snack with a sibling, but you can clearly explain to him that he’ll have his own turn to play in one minute. First though, make sure you recognize that he’s upset. Say it out loud. Labeling his emotions helps validate his feelings, and the more specific you can be about the item and designating the length of time until he gets his toy back, the better. In the meantime, give him something else you know he likes to play with as a distraction. As far as “please” and “thank you” are concerned, it’s never too soon to start introducing these words into the conversation. The more you use them, the more he will too. Remember that toddlers grow by leaps and bounds, which means in just a few months, the concepts of sharing and being polite will have far greater meaning to him than it does today. The key is to be patient and consistent.
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Is it okay for my toddler to play with my go slowly Since your toddler is already smartphone or tablet? eating solids, weaning will be easier: Dealing with a fussy toddler is tough, and You won’t have to substitute bottles of distracting her with your cellphone seems formula—you can just drop feedings. like a good idea, but you may want to But that doesn’t mean you should do it rethink it. While some research states it’s abruptly; fewer feedings will likely mean okay to expose your child to some engorgement for you screen media in moderation, and could be tough for your according to the American toddler to handle. Instead, Academy of Pediatrics, gradually shorten the length When’s the children under two years of each of your nursing right time to old should stay screen-free sessions, or skip one entirely transition from because your child’s brain every few days. And rememcrib to bed? ber, your child has gotten is rapidly developing, and Most parents used to the closeness and they’ll learn best from transition proximity, so it’s important human interaction. toddlers between to provide him with plenty of Don’t forget about the safety the ages of attention while weaning, says risks too. If baby drops a one and a half Jennifer Ritchie, IBCLC, author phone or tablet, batteries can of I Make Milk, What’s Your fall out and screens can and three years shatter, leading to injury. old, or start once Superpower? Also, have you seen reports Use distraction Many moms the child is that cellphones have traces find that if they simply don’t potty trained, suggest breastfeeding, they of poop on them? Yeah, no actively tries can successfully skip a feeding matter how much you to escape the clean, your gadget could still here and there. Try not sitting crib while you’re in the usual chair you would be germy. asleep, or if sit in to nurse, and instead another sibling plan some extra play sessions We’re both ready. How is on the way. during that time or head do I wean my toddler from outside. It’ll take both your breastfeeding? minds off breastfeeding, First off give yourself a pat and the fact that you’re on the back. For a number of spending time together will mean you’re reasons, only about 27 percent of moms still bonding, despite not nursing. nurse for at least a year—the recommendation of the American Academy of focus on daytime first You’ll find it easier to cut out the daytime feedings before the Pediatrics—so it’s great you were able evening ones. During the day, your toddler to keep at it. And while it might seem is busy and his mind is occupied. At night, tough to wean now that you’re both so he’s probably come to expect cuddles used to breastfeeding, the fact that you’re pros at this point can make it a and breast milk before bed, so try to make the nighttime feeding the last to go. positive experience.
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