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from
k
volume 10, edition 2
c ontents what’s hot 8 congrats a note from carley 12 meet our contributors pros who made this issue possible 16 the social club tweet, post and pin us
celebrate
18 bumpie buzz baby news in north carolina and beyond
glow nest
22 reasons to exercise during pregnancy real motivators to hit the gym
delivery
24 in the limelight citrus-hued baby gear
basics
moms dish out baby sleep advice
34 daphne oz’s foodie, fun & fuss-free pregnancy her secrets for relishing pregnancy 42 map out your pregnancy find everything you need—locally 44 ultrasound photos decoded baby’s first photo op 48 the crazy rules for naming your baby we break it down by state
glow 54 moms in motion do intense workouts and pregnancy mix? 58 olivia wilde’s inspiring looks the star’s maternity wardrobe 60 symptoms you should never ignore what’s normal and what’s not 62 q+a from belly buttons to midnight snacks
52 q+a from meds to counting baby’s kicks
beyond
30 how big is baby? weekly growth and development
get some sleep
celebrate
20 funny things that happen while trying to get pregnant making a baby isn’t all candles and romance
26 the name game top north carolina names—now and then
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on the cover
Photography by KT Merry. Fashion styling by Annie Cavallo for Ennis Inc. Hair and makeup by Susan Donoghue for Ennis Inc. On model: sweater, Vince at select A Pea in the Pod stores; jeans, Joe’s Jeans at APeainthePod.com.
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6 pounds 4 ounces 19 inches 1 special delivery
Meet Lucy... At Rex, every delivery tells a story. Choosing a hospital and an obstetrician to help deliver your baby is an important decision. That’s why we strive to provide a personalized, comfortable experience before, during and after the birth of your baby. Great OB care. It’s what we deliver. Visit rexhealth.com/birth to help plan your special delivery.
Rex Women’s Center rexhealth.com/birth
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celebrate
74
lessons for a labor coach hand this advice to your partner
delivery
nest
glow
nest
94 ready for bed bring on the big kid bed
70 what to register for the essentials for you and baby
90 head of the class local classes to help you ace parenting
72 q+a from nursery design to college savings
92 q+a from baby poop to hiring a sitter
96 5 toddler-friendly hot spots explore your hood with baby
basics
78 my birth story a north carolina mom shares 84 q+a from stages of labor to cutting the cord
beyond
beyond
86 vaccine fears answers to your biggest questions
delivery
4
basics
64 cool and collected a worldly nursery that inspires
thebump.com
98 what parents around the world think you’re doing wrong parenting lessons from across the globe 100 q+a from weaning to preschool
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IMAG I NE . . . Nic Cole Photogra p hy
7 04 -20 0-1398 www. ni cc oleph otograph y.c om b ra nd y@ nicc ole ph otograph y.com
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part of
k family
congrats!
There’s so much to know and do now that you’re pregnant, and if it’s your first, this is unchartered (read: overwhelming) territory. This handy guide will help by giving you the most essential info, like where to take the best childbirth classes and how to actually get baby to sleep (not always easy!). Want more? TheBump.com has expert answers to every question you may have. Plus, a huge club of other new parents and parents-to-be to chat with and compare notes. We’re all in this together!
a blast from the past. pregnant with baby #3! Carley Roney cofounder
tweet us @thebump!
welcome, Dylan!
PS: Get our app for personalized pregnancy info every step of the way at TheBump.com/app.
COFOUNDER Carley Roney EDITOR IN CHIEF Rebecca Dolgin
DEPUTY EDITOR Elena Donovan Mauer MANAGING EDITOR Kellee Kratzer ART DIRECTOR Meghan Corrigan EDITORIAL TEAM Anisa Arsenault, Maria Bouselli, Ashley Castro, Kristin Giametta, Irina Grechko, Cassie Kreitner, Joelle Montier, Alice Stevens, Darcy Strobel, Julia Wang CONTRIBUTING EDITOR Lauren Greene VICE PRESIDENT, PRINT AND PRODUCTION Frank Dolphens PRODUCTION TEAM Susan Berryman, Lois Brunnert Bethune, Jesse Hardy, Katie Hover, Megan Johnson, Kate Richter, Maria Julie Rodriguez, Kasey Schroeder, Carly Steier, Daryl Wills, Sheryl Ziegler VICE PRESIDENT, LOCAL SALES John Pike SALES MANAGER Sandra Jackson SALES AND ADVERTISING TEAM Christie Manning (cmanning@thebump.com, 877-550-2694), Ashley Archer, Kate Buchanan, Danielle Goldman, Sharon Thomas SENIOR PUBLIC RELATIONS MANAGER Melissa Bach
PUBLISHED BY XO Group Inc. 195 Broadway, New York, NY 10007 Phone (212) 219-8555 Fax (212) 219-1929 Please note: The ideas, procedures and suggestions contained in this book are not intended as health care or other professional advice, diagnosis or a substitute for consulting with your health care professional. Every baby is different and circumstances vary, so you should consult your own physician and use your own common sense. The author and publisher offer no warranties or guarantees, expressed or implied, in the completeness or advisability of the information contained in this book for your particular situation, and disclaim any liability arising from its use. All product information was supplied by the designers and manufacturers. The Bump has made every effort to portray the products true to their original colors and styles, but we cannot guarantee 100-percent accuracy. Prices and availability may change based on factors including material, regions and season. Nothing contained in this guide should be construed as an endorsement by The Bump of any designer, manufacturer or product featured herein. The Bump Magazine © 2015 XO Group Inc. All rights reserved. Reproduction, in whole or in part, is forbidden without written permission from the publisher. TheBump.com and The Bump magazine are trademarks of XO Group Inc.
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RONEY: DAVID A. LAND
hello, Will!
thebump.com
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CORD BLOOD BANKING ISN’T JUST FOR YOUR NEWBORN. IT’S FOR YOUR WHOLE FAMILY. Cord blood, which comes from your newborn’s umbilical cord, contains powerful stem cells that can save lives. Cord blood stem cells have already been used in more than 35,000 transplants worldwide. And researchers are exploring additional uses in FDA-regulated clinical trials to potentially treat conditions like autism, cerebral palsy, and pediatric stroke. Learn more about the power of cord blood stem cells by contacting CBR today. ®
cordblood.com | 1.888.261.4762 Ultimate use of newborn stem cells will be determined by the treating physician, who will consider if they are applicable for the condition and should come from the patient or a suitable donor (such as an HLA-matched sibling). There is no guarantee that treatments being studied will be available in the future. © 2015 Cbr Systems, Inc. All rights reserved • 0615 • CBR-MKT-PRT-00102.00
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meet our
contributors MELANIE ACEVEDO, PHOTOGRAPHER
what did you love most about your pregnancy?
Being pregnant with my daughter Violet was the best time of my life. I never felt more sexy! I got a pair of black leather pants and a bunch of tank tops and rocked that look for nine months. Pregnant women are beautiful. @melanieacevedophoto
CHRISTINE SCHMIDT, DESIGNER
how did you make those amazing diy projects for your daughter’s nursery (p. 64)? It was convenient! I was writing my book, Yellow Owl’s Little Prints, while I was pregnant, so the projects worked for both. My mom was an art teacher and she’s the inspiration for most of them. @yellowowlwkshop
ADRIAN KULP, WRITER
I can’t have a favorite—I have to be equal. The day my daughter Ava was born was one of the happiest days of my life. After Charlie was born, and they asked me to cut the umbilical cord, I cried. With Mason, I simply thought about how truly lucky I am. @dad_or_alive
our expert panel
Ashley S. Roman, MD, ob-gyn and clinical assistant professor in the Department of Obstetrics and Gynecology at NYU Langone Medical Center; Preeti Parikh, MD, pediatrician at Pediatrics of New York, assistant clinical professor in the Pediatrics Department at the Icahn School of Medicine at Mount Sinai and a fellow of the American Academy of Pediatrics; Amy Tara Koch, fashion expert and author of Bump It Up; Nicole Meadow, MPN, RD, nutritionist and founder of NutritionWise; Shoshana Bennett, PhD, clinical psychologist and author of Beyond the Blues; Jennifer Ritchie, IBCLC and author of I Make Milk, What’s Your Superpower?
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SCHMIDT: ANA HOMMONAY; KULP: JEN MAYER KULP
you’re a dad of three. what’s your favorite delivery room memory?
Get expert answers to every question at TheBump.com
5/18/15 11:22 AM
We provide private, in-home care for newborn babies throughout the night. Every nurse is college-educated, infant-CPR-certified and has passed a full criminal background check. We are committed to providing the best possible care for your baby so you can rest peacefully and enjoy a good night’s sleep.
www.nurseandnurture.com TBMV10E2_NC_Sect1(1-16) [P]{NC}.indd 13
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BABY STEPS
You’ve picked a name, a stroller and a nursery color.
Have you picked a pediatrician?
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Your child’s pediatrician will be an important partner in keeping your baby happy and healthy, right from day One. And with practices conveniently located where your family lives, works and plays, Carolinas HealthCare System can help you find the pediatrician that’s right for your family. Our practices are all connected to Levine Children’s Hospital, the region’s largest and most comprehensive children’s hospital, as well as Jeff Gordon Children’s Hospital, several children’s urgent cares, a pediatric emergency department and exceptional pediatric subspecialties.
To take the first step toward finding a pediatrician for your little one, call 704-512-3970 or visit
CarolinasHealthCare.org/BumpBaby.
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the social
club
We dish out honest advice, along with our moms and moms-to-be, and share creative pics on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram.
We asked new moms to share the
must-haves they couldn’t live without, and here’s what they said: “A yearlong membership to a spa! Don’t be shy, ask for yourself.”
“DreamBelly Butter from Fairhaven Health! I swear by it—it’s so great.”
–PAULA R.
–JAMIE K.
“INSPIRING BABY SHOWERS” IS OUR MOST POPULAR BOARD Moms-to-be can’t stop pinning décor, dessert and game ideas for their upcoming fetes. Get inspired at Pinterest.com/thebump
“Nipple balm. You never think you’ll need it (I didn’t!), but seriously, it’s a lifesaver.” –GILLIAN O. FACEBOOK.COM/THEBUMP
We’re tweeting around the clock about all the latest fertility, pregnancy and parenting news and trends—so you never miss a beat.
we’re @thebump
Follow us @THEBUMP
Our cofounder, Carley, supporting #Moms4Moms.
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We’re ready to go on camera with Kathie Lee and Hoda!
PINTEREST: GABRIEL RYAN PHOTOGRAPHERS
Go behind-the-scenes with our editors for a sneak peek at all the fun we’re having backstage—and at the office!
See what happens at our magazine photo shoots.
Join the conversation now at TheBump.com/community
5/18/15 11:22 AM
A Great Place for Babies! With multiple locations throughout the North Carolina area, Bright Horizons is the leading provider of high-quality early education and preschool. Our Great Places for Babies program is designed to provide a warm, welcoming environment where your baby can thrive and grow from a bundle of joy to a bundle of curiosity.
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buzz
What’s new for you in North Carolina and beyond.
NEWBORN KNOW-HOW UNC Health Care is offering a new childbirth education class all about newborn health. Taught by resident physicians from UNC North Chatham Pediatrics and Internal Medicine, the course covers topics like choosing a pediatrician, what to expect in those first few days with baby and infant immune systems. (UNCHealthCare.org)
tighten and tone Whether you had a c-section or a vaginal birth, get ready to regain your prebaby abs with the new Mat I Pilates class at Healthy Moms Fitness NC. The best part about these core-strengthening moves? Not one sit-up required! But you will need a doctor’s note to participate. (HealthyMomsNC.com)
hey Facebook, I’m pregnant! In a recent survey on TheBump .com, 63 percent of moms-to-be said they used social media to announce their pregnancies to friends and family first.
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what do you think?
genius idea or scary trend? the c-tuck
Women delivering via c-section are staying under the knife a little bit longer—to get a tummy tuck right after birth. Sounds like a great start to getting fit postbaby, but doctors warn of the risk of complications. “You’re more likely to get blood clots and to retain fluid,” says Karol A. Gutowski, MD, FACS. “There’s also a higher risk of infection when you’re operating on the uterus.” Our verdict? Scary.
b uckle up, baby Safety alert! As baby grows, he’ll eventually be too heavy for the LATCH system (your car’s anchors and tethers made to keep his car seat in place). According to new guidelines released by the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration, if baby and his car seat weigh more than 65 pounds combined, it’s no longer safe to use LATCH anchors. Instead, use your car’s seat belt and buckle to secure the seat.
thebump.com
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LULU*/CWC INTERNATIONAL
b umpie
Find up-to-the-minute news at Blog.TheBump.com
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We specialize in new arrivals
Find a Novant Health doctor to care for your baby With hundreds of doctors throughout the region, finding expert care for your new arrival is easier than ever. Our pediatricians and family medicine doctors are specially trained in newborn care, so you can rest assured that your baby is in good hands from day one. With online appointment scheduling, physicians on-call 24/7 and MyChart — our free online health management tool that allows you to email your care team — we’ll always be available for you and your little one. And because finding a doctor for your baby is such an important decision, many of our clinics offer free introductory appointments before you deliver. Find an expert for your baby today by calling 704-384-CARE (2273) or at NovantHealth.org/doctor
© Novant Health, Inc. 2015
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funny things that happen
while trying to get pregnant Sure, making a baby can be all candles and romance, but it can also be pretty wild (and a little embarrassing).
“I NEVER WOULD HAVE GUESSED I’D MEASURE HOW LONG MY CERVICAL MUCUS STRETCHED BETWEEN MY FINGERS. EW!” –DIANA Y.
“Honey! It’s 7:02 and we were supposed to trigger at 7! Hurry up—we’re missing our chance!” – KINGSGAL
–DANIELLE T.
–LAUGHQUEEN
“I stuck myself multiple times a day with a needle, had countless transvaginal ultrasounds, and spent thousands of dollars—all worth it!”
–MELISSASMOM
“I would lie in bed for 20 minutes after sex with my legs in the air. And my husband would time me!” –SUZIEQ
“I NEVER THOUGHT I’D BE CALLING AN IVF CLINIC TO SEE HOW MANY OF MY EGGS FERTILIZED!” –MARY S.
“After sex I made a beeline to the bathroom, and my husband yelled, ‘Hey! Are you peeing out our children?’ ” –KAYLA M.
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NAMES HAVE BEEN CHANGED
“I never thought I’d send this text when I got a positive on my ovulation predictor kit: ‘Code: Blinking Smiley, I repeat, we are at Code: Blinking Smiley.’ ”
“My husband makes an imploding sound, as if he knows exactly when his sperm has made it past my cervix.”
Join the conversation at TheBump.com/chat
5/18/15 11:23 AM
TRUSTED CHILD CARE WE OFFER QUALITY EDUCATIONAL CHILD CARE WITH AN EDUCATIONAL PROGRAM.
• Ages 6 weeks to 12 years old • 5 locations in the area • Experienced and educated staff • Business hours: 6 am-6 pm, Monday-Friday
www.kidseducationalcenter.com or give us a call at 1-877-532-5439
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reasons to exercise
during pregnancy
You’re swamped. You’re exhausted. You have crib shopping to do. There are tons of excuses not to hit the gym while pregnant, so we rounded up some real motivators. BY MEREDITH FRANCO MEYERS
Pregnant and grumpy? Even a little bit of exercise goes a long way toward improving your mood. And there’s actual science behind this. When your heart gets pumping, blood flows to your brain and endorphins are triggered. Endorphins are known as the body’s happy chemicals, and they usually kick in after 30 minutes or more of exercise. The more endorphins, the merrier!
you’ll have a healthier baby
Exercise is important in managing your weight gain, and in a Boston study, women who gained more weight during pregnancy increased their odds of delivering heavier babies. High birth weight predicts an increased body mass index later in life. In other words, exercise helps prevent weight issues for baby.
bonus!
Exercise now to help your body bounce back postbaby.
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complications are less likely
Expectant moms who keep working out tend to have lower blood pressure and a lower chance of developing gestational diabetes or getting preeclampsia, a scary medical condition that can mean bed rest, labor induction and birth complications.
you’ll have fewer aches and pains
When you get your heart rate up, you’re actually improving your body’s circulation. And that means less pressure on your joints. So there’s hope for those swollen, stiff ankles. Ditto for varicose veins.
you may avoid tearing or a c-section
Having a strong pelvic floor makes you more likely to be able to push baby out fast if needed—and avoid tearing or needing an emergency cesarean.
labor will be easier and faster (yay!)
A New Zealand study reported that expectant moms who exercise for at least 40 minutes up to five times per week are more likely to have babies of normal birth weight, who are easier to push out. Plus, fit women are more flexible, exhibit better muscle control and breathe easier while pushing too.
SHUTTERSTOCK
you’ll be less moody
Make your workout plan at TheBump.com/fitness
5/18/15 11:23 AM
Ben & Bella Photography is an award-winning studio, bringing you intimate and timeless maternity and newborn portraits. We’ll capture those tiny details and cute newborn poses along with special family and maternity moments for you to look back upon with overwhelming love for years to come. We’re unrushed and uncompromised.
Call: (704) 699-0679 Click: benandbellaphotography.com Visit our Studio: 5345 Vining St. NW, Suite 102 Concord, NC 28027 * Complimentary no-obligation in-studio design consultation
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in the
limelight
The citrus hue takes center stage with the latest baby gear.
pack it up
JJ Cole Collections’s System 180 bag is so chic dad will love using it. $70, BabiesRUs.com
have a seat
Svan’s sunny Bentwood chair goes from six months to five years. $180, Diapers.com
smooth ride
The stylish Dot stroller by phil&teds definitely turns heads. $450, BuybuyBaby.com
suds up!
Boon’s Naked bath collapses for easy storage. $70, BoonInc.com
safety first
Clek’s Foonf seat comes with extended rear-facing abilities up to age four. $450, Shop.ClekInc.com
cute cot
Babyhome’s Dream cot brightens up mom and dad’s room. $300, BabiesRUs.com
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Find more stylish gear now at TheBump.com/babygear
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www.LakeNorman3D.com
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the
name game
Wow, names sure have changed! Here’s the Social Security Administration’s list of the top 10 names for boys and girls in North Carolina—now and then.
top 10 boys’ names today
30 years ago
William Mason Elijah Jacob Noah Liam James Jackson Michael Jayden
Christopher Michael James Matthew Joshua William David Jason Brandon Jonathan
top 10 girls’ names
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today
30 years ago
Emma Ava Sophia Olivia Isabella Abigail Madison Elizabeth Addison Emily
Jennifer Jessica Ashley Amanda Crystal Heather Stephanie Sarah Melissa Kimberly
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Get more name ideas at TheBump.com/babynames
5/18/15 11:23 AM
Advertisement
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anywhere you want
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on your laptop!
The Bump is now digital. Get it now at TheBump.com/magazine TBMV10E2_NC_Sect2(17-32) [P]{NC}.indd 27
5/18/15 11:23 AM
get some
sleep
No, you’re not doomed to be exhausted forever. Moms who’ve been there before share the baby sleep advice that ultimately saved their sanity. PHOTOGRAPH BY KT MERRY
“Babies are used to noise in the womb, so don’t put them to sleep while hushing everyone around you.” –SARA K. “Enjoy the middle-of-the-night feedings. They were our quiet cuddle moments, and they don’t last long.” –ROXANNE B. “Sleep when they sleep. Sounds trite, but that advice helped me survive when my son was a newborn.” –LAURA S.
plenty of play fosters good sleep
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“Don’t freak out at every noise they make when they sleep. Babies are loud sleepers.” –MICHELLE J. “Swaddle!” –BREANNE B. “Set a bedtime routine. My son has done so well recognizing his routine and sleeps for about 10 to 12 hours a night.”
–NICKI B.
keep close Nighttime feedings just got easier. The new Halo Bassinest is a bedside sleeper that swivels over the bed, so baby can rest right next to you in his own safe, separate sleeping area. $250, HaloBassinest .com for stores
STYLING: ANNIE CAVALLO FOR ENNIS INC.; GROOMING: SUSAN DONOGHUE FOR ENNIS INC.
78%
Number of women who buy or register for a baby monitor. Hello peace of mind!
“Never brag about your baby sleeping through the night. Just when you think there’s a pattern, they get sick or are teething and it throws everything off. Just go with it.” –KAREN D.
Learn tactics for parenthood at TheBump.com/baby
5/18/15 11:23 AM
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how
big is baby?
See how she matches up to common fruits and veggies (and what the heck she’s doing in there) week by week. BY PAULA KASHTAN
week 5
apple seed Baby is starting to form her major organs, including the heart, kidneys, liver and stomach.
week 3
poppy seed Sperm met egg and—voilà— conception! Now your zygote sets off on a six-day trek through your fallopian tube to your uterus.
week 6
blueberry With joints starting to appear, baby is forming arms and legs—and growing new brain cells each minute. Wow!
week 8
raspberry Continuing to straighten in the trunk, baby can move those little arms, legs, and (slightly webbed) fingers and toes.
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week 9
olive The former embryo is now officially a fetus, and an ultrasound device may be able to pick up a view of her beating heart.
SHUTTERSTOCK
week 7
sweet pea As blood begins to circulate, baby is beginning to develop eyes, ears, a nose, cheeks and a chin.
thebump.com
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week 14
lemon Your fetus is busy with thumb sucking, toe wiggling, making urine and breathing amniotic fluid.
week 15
orange Finally, all four limbs have functional joints. Your fetus squirms and wiggles like crazy, though you probably still can’t feel it. >
i’ m not fat. i’ m pregnant! week 12 week 13
peach While the intestines make their way from the umbilical cord to the fetus’s tummy, baby is developing teeth and vocal cords.
SHUTTERSTOCK
week 10
prune Arm joints work, bones and cartilage are forming, and baby’s vital organs are starting to function.
plum As you get ready for the second trimester, almost all of baby’s systems are fully formed. From here, they grow and mature.
week 11
lime Now baby’s fingers and toes are no longer webbed, and her hair follicles, tooth buds and nail beds are forming.
North Carolina thebump.com
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week 17
week 16
avocado Tiny bones are now forming in the ears and eyebrows, and lashes and hair are starting to fill in.
onion Baby’s skeleton is hardening, and those little fingers and toes are now defined with one-of-a-kind prints.
week 18
sweet potato Baby has become amazingly mobile. She yawns, hiccups, rolls, kicks, punches, sucks, twists and swallows.
week 19
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week 20
banana Your baby is gulping down amniotic fluid for nutrition and to practice swallowing. Her taste buds work!
SHUTTERSTOCK
mango Vernix caseosa, a greasy white goo, now coats baby’s skin. Some of it could remain at birth.
thebump.com
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g.
honeydew Baby can recognize and react to simple songs and may even remember them after birth. She now pees about a pint each day.
week 37 to delivery
watermelon Your full-term (yay!) baby gains about half an ounce a day, and her brain continues to develop rapidly.
are we there yet?
weeks 29–32
squash Baby is going through major brain and nerve development, and her energy is surging. Her irises react to light, and all five senses work.
weeks 22–24 SHUTTERSTOCK
n
weeks 33–36
papaya Settling into sleep cycles, baby snoozes 12 to 14 hours a day. Skin is becoming more opaque, and it’s taking on a pink glow.
weeks 25–28 eggplant Baby is getting her immune system ready by soaking up lots of antibodies. Her eyes are forming too.
Get weekly baby updates at TheBump.com/updates
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it was a girl, Philomena Bijou!
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FASHION STYLING: MICHELLE MCCOOL FOR KATE RYAN, INC.; PROP STYLING: EMILY RICKARD FOR ENNIS INC.; HAIR STYLING: JEANNA MIRANTE; MAKEUP STYLING: GABRIELLA VOIGT; ON DAPHNE: TOP AND VEST: HAUTE HIPPIE; PANTS: HATCH; SHOES: JIMMY CHOO; JEWELRY: DAPHNE’S OWN; CRIB: OEUF SPARROW CRIB COURTESY OF MINI JAKE IN BROOKLYN, NY
celebrate
thebump.com
5/18/15 11:23 AM
FASHION STYLING: MICHELLE MCCOOL FOR KATE RYAN, INC.; PROP STYLING: EMILY RICKARD FOR ENNIS INC.; HAIR STYLING: JEANNA MIRANTE; MAKEUP STYLING: GABRIELLA VOIGT; ON DAPHNE: TOP AND VEST: HAUTE HIPPIE; PANTS: HATCH; SHOES: JIMMY CHOO; JEWELRY: DAPHNE’S OWN; CRIB: OEUF SPARROW CRIB COURTESY OF MINI JAKE IN BROOKLYN, NY
daphne
oz’s
foodie, fun & fuss-free
pregnancy The natural foods chef, author and cohost of The Chew shares her secrets for relishing pregnancy. BY ELENA DONOVAN MAUER PHOTOGRAPHY BY MELANIE ACEVEDO
Daphne Oz is one of those women you’d want to plan a play date with, if you could. She’s friendly and warm, quirky and real— personality traits that shine through on The Chew, the daytime lifestyle talk show she stars on with chefs Mario Batali, Michael Symon and Carla Hall and entertaining expert Clinton Kelly. Her success has skyrocketed in recent years. She joined the cast in 2011, and in 2013 wrote the cookbook and lifestyle guide, and The New York Times best seller, Relish. Now, a new challenge: parenthood! Daphne chatted with us about being pregnant with her first baby (also the first grandchild for dad Dr. Oz).
The Bump Other than your parents, Mehmet Oz, MD, of
The Dr. Oz Show, and author Lisa Oz, who are your role models?
Daphne Oz Role models evolve and change with every stage
in your life. Right now, it’s the moms who make time for their careers, if that’s what they want to pursue, and who make time for themselves. We tend to forget about taking care of ourselves when we’re taking care of everyone around us. >
North Carolina thebump.com
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TB You and your cohosts seem like you might be friends in real life. True? DO We are! I get paid to eat some delicious things and hang out with great friends. If only we could tape our behind-the-scenes revelry. That would be a show you’d want to watch. It’s hysterical. TB So did you have to change what you ate once you were pregnant?
DO I love Mexican food and sadly have to stay pretty far away from it because I can’t take the heat. I miss the margaritas too!
TB Is there anything you’re nervous about? DO A huge learning curve. There are so many things I don’t know. >
daphne’s pregnancy tips
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WALK A LOT
DO DATE NIGHT
“I gave up superintense cardio— sorry, spinning! But I walked three miles a day. Walking keeps you toned without being stressful on your body. It helps me decompress.”
“Have time with your partner and time with your girlfriends. They’re the ones who will be there for you postbaby. Time with them will rejuvenate you when you need it.”
MAKE EATING HEALTHY EASY
TACKLE YOUR TO-DOS
“Whip up big batches of beans, quinoa, brown rice and lentils to store and pair with different flavors during the week. No need to spend a ton of time.”
“Get things off your plate before baby arrives, but if you can’t get it all done, don’t worry. Life won’t stop after baby is born—it’s just the beginning!”
SWEATER AND JEANS: ASOS, TANK TOP: PEA IN THE POD TANK FOR DESTINATION MATERNITY
TB What are you looking forward to most about motherhood? DO I can’t wait to read bedtime stories, do art projects, play dress up, have dance parties and bake delicious treats with our girl. All those magical things I loved so much about childhood.
thebump.com
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TB You’re really big on date night. Why? DO My husband, John, and I both thought
it was important not to lose sight of our relationship, even as we made way for a new addition. Even if it’s a 15-minute meal together, relishing uninterrupted time keeps us connected.
TB What’s the biggest change you made since you became pregnant? DO I try not to stress out if everything on my to-do list doesn’t get done. You start to realize how important it is to take care of yourself, so you can take care of another little person who totally depends on you. That means cutting out the energy drains that have no room in your life anymore. I used to be a terrible procrastinator, but now I have great reason to prioritize and be more efficient with my time.
daphne says:
“Make smart choices even when you give into cravings.”
TB What did you do to nest for baby? DO I nested like a crazy person. I really
de-cluttered and did major guttings of my wardrobe, books and papers. For the nursery, I worked with a furniture store called Bellini on a French blue and coral scheme. It has a soft, plush texture and fun tribal and geometric accents. I tend to be classic in my taste, so this was a chance to experiment, get a little funky and be playful, but sophisticated.
TB What are your favorite and least
favorite things about pregnancy? DO I love the kicks! I’m sure we’ll be making up some dance moves together. My least favorite thing is waking up uncontrollably at 4:30 a.m.! It’s like my body is advance training me for all the sleepless nights that are ahead. you look up to? DO Seems like Jessica Simpson and Jennifer Garner have a lot of fun with their kids! I’d love to learn how to juggle it all from Victoria Beckham.
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STRIPED SHIRT: ASOS
TB Are there any moms in Hollywood
Get the scoop on Daphne’s baby at TheBump.com/daphneoz
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Nursing bras, stretch marks, and delivery rooms—oh my! Advertisement
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celebrate
map out your
pregnancy
Whether it’s cravings or maternity clothes, look no further than your neighborhood to find everything you’ll need from trimester to trimester. BY MADELINE SCHMITZ
and the journey begins...
1st trimester
indulge those food cravings
When that sweet tooth kicks in you can’t go wrong with a cone from Goodberry’s (Goodberrys.com), the frozencustard capital of the world (at least that’s what people say). Choose from classics, like vanilla, and delicious rotating flavors—everything from pumpkin to peanut butter—made fresh on the hour. Just don’t get hooked! Sugar in small doses is best for baby.
2nd trimester
prep for labor dress your growing bump Your bump is getting bigger, and your closet is going to have to catch up. Shop for chic brandname basics and trends at One Hott Mamma (OneHottMamma.com), a consignment store where you can score current maternity looks at a fraction of the price. Translation: more money to spend on cute clothes for baby.
Baby will be here before you know it. Take a childbirth education class at Carolina Community Maternity Center (CarolinasBirthCenter.com) and you’ll be ready when it’s go time. You’ll learn what labor is really like, as well as newborn care basics and breastfeeding tips.
3rd trimester
get some prenatal pampering Got back pain? Swollen feet? Feeling anxious? We don’t blame you—you’re in the home stretch, after all! Give your pregnant body a much-needed rest and treat yourself to a prenatal massage at Bellies and Babies (BelliesandBabiesNC.com). Its expert therapists can help you relax, get relief from uncomfortable aches and pains, and—when the time comes—even help move baby along with the Natural Labor Induction massage.
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hello, baby!
Find more local help at TheBump.com/northcarolina
5/18/15 11:24 AM
GREAT STYLE. GREAT PRICE. GREAT SERVICE.
For the store nearest you or to shop online, visit motherhood.com *The Secret Fit Belly速 feature is subject to the following patents: U.S. Patent Nos. RE43563, RE43531, 7814575 & 7900276
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ultrasound photos
decoded
It’s time for baby’s first photo op! Here’s what you’ll be looking at when you peer into that little screen for the first time. BY LAUREN A. GREENE
Depending on your doctor, expect to have your first ultrasound sometime between 6 and 12 weeks, says Santa Monica–based ob-gyn Sheryl Ross, MD. Baby grows quickly and will look very different in just a few short weeks, so don’t
panic if you don’t see as much detail at an earlier ultrasound (the below image is about 12 weeks). The first ultrasound dates and confirms the pregnancy, as well as detects any potential problems. Here are some key things to know before you go.
oh, boy !
fluid is black; bone is bright white
der Or girl. Gen ted ec et d e may b k ee -w at the 16 d. n u so ra lt u
1 2 5 3 4
HEAD
To determine gestational age, your doctor will measure the “crown to rump length” (top of head to bottom of tush). At 12 weeks, the average size is 5–6 centimeters.
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2
NASAL BONES
Underdeveloped or absent nasal bones have been linked to a high rate of Down syndrome. Your doctor examines the nasal bones to begin ruling out any potential problems.
thebump.com
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3 NUCHAL FOLD The thickness of the nuchal (or neck) fold is another marker for chromosomal abnormalities. The results, along with a blood test, can be used to detect issues as early as 11 weeks.
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5
See that tiny dark gray circle right under the chin in the chest cavity? That bubble is the stomach starting to form, and your doctor will look to make sure it’s on track.
Depending how she’s positioned, you may not see all of baby’s arms and legs in the profile view (above), but your doctor takes a variety of angles to check on all of them.
STOMACH BUBBLE
EXTREMITIES
SHUTTERSTOCK
1
Get info on other prenatal tests at TheBump.com/tests
5/18/15 11:24 AM
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thebump.com
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connect with others
BRIGHT HORIZONS EARLY EDUCATION & PRESCHOOL is
the leading provider of high-quality early education and preschool in North Carolina. Visit BrightHorizons.com/ ncbump for locations.
KIDS EDUCATIONAL CENTER
We offer quality educational child care with an educational program. Give us a call at (877) 532-5439. KidsEducationalCenter.com
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North Carolina thebump.com
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the crazy rules for
naming your baby Thought as parents you could give baby any name under the sun? Well, it depends. BY CYNTHIA RAMNARACE
Believe it or not, there are restrictions in place for what you can or can’t name baby. Here in North Carolina, accent marks, hyphens and tildes(ñ) are all valid. Want to know the rules in other states?
alabama
In Alabama, you can name baby anything you want—last name included. (Some states require baby’s last name be the same as the mother or father, but not Alabama.) Only the English alphabet is allowed. While apostrophes and hyphens are okay, numbers and symbols aren’t.
alaska
Chloë and Beyoncé aren’t a problem in Alaska! The state’s computer system handles umlauts (ö), tildes and many other (but not all) foreign characters.
arizona
In Arizona, there’s a 141 character limit— 45 for the first name, 45 for middle, 45 for last and 6 for a suffix. Apostrophes, hyphens, periods and spaces are okay.
which rules out umlauts and others. Pictographs (smiley faces) or ideograms (a “thumbs-up” sign) are specifically banned. (Can you believe they had to do that?)
colorado
Colorado has no limit on the length of a name, but you need to be able to spell it using a standard keyboard, so no graphic symbols or foreign characters.
connecticut
You may choose any name with English characters, so long as it’s “not for fraudulent or nefarious purposes and does not infringe on the rights of another person.”
florida
If parents can’t agree on a first name, none can be listed on the birth certificate until both parents sign an agreement or a court selects a name.
georgia
Symbols are off-limits in Georgia, and yes, that includes accent marks.
arkansas
california
Derogatory or obscene names are banned in California. Only the 26 letters of the English alphabet are allowed,
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THINKSTOCK
You can have apostrophes, hyphens and spaces in a name, but they can’t be consecutive. Also, Baby, Babyboy, Babygirl, Baby Boy, Baby Girl, Infant, Test, Unk and Void are all invalid entries in the data entry system.
thebump.com
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hawaii
There are no limitations. Even symbols are allowed, but the state’s computer software does require each symbol be accompanied by at least one letter.
idaho
In Idaho, only letters are allowed. Special characters such as asterisks are banned.
illinois
There are no restrictions on what a parent may name a child. Recent updates to the state’s computer networks even allow for quirky names such as “1Der” or “2-Riffic.” So far, no parent has taken advantage of this with their baby’s first name, but there’s a child whose middle name is “7.”
indiana
No rules regarding first names in Indiana. But if mom is unmarried at birth, baby can only be given her mother’s surname, unless there’s an affidavit proving paternity.
kansas
minnesota
Numbers and all special characters are banned. Apostrophes and hyphens are the only punctuation allowed. Each name— first, middle and last—is limited to 50 letters each, for a max of 150 characters.
mississippi
If mom is married at the time of birth, the baby’s surname is automatically that of her husband. If the parents would like a different surname, the request must be verified and witnessed by a hospital rep.
montana
Montana has no rules on baby names, but its data system doesn’t allow for special symbols. If a parent wants to use a symbol, once they receive the birth certificate, they can write it in and send it back to the vital records office for approval.
nebraska
No names that imply objectionable or obscene words or abbreviations.
Kansas explicitly requires that babies be given a last name and bans the use of symbols. Accent marks are okay though.
new hampshire
louisiana
new jersey
You can’t name your child an obscenity in Louisiana, or use diacritical marks (so, André isn’t allowed). As for the last name, if mom wasn’t married within 300 days of the birth, baby’s surname must match his mother’s name. If mom is married, baby’s surname must be the same as her husband, unless the parents agree to change it.
massachusetts
Only letters found on the standard English keyboard may be used in baby names in Massachusetts. So sorry, that means no æ, ë or ñ allowed.
michigan
Michigan also requires only English letters.
First, middle and last names must be within 100 characters total. New Jersey prohibits obscenities as well as numbers and symbols in names. >
anything goes! states with no baby name rules or laws Delaware Iowa Kentucky Maine Maryland
Missouri Nevada Pennsylvania Virginia
North Carolina thebump.com
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new mexico
Diacritical marks, special characters, and names Baby Boy, Baby Girl, Male and Female are banned.
new york
In NY, first and middle names can’t be more than 30 characters each, while last can’t be more than 40. Numbers and symbols are no-nos. Name your child anything, but the data system doesn’t allow special characters. And the last name must match a parent’s.
ohio
The only punctuation allowed in Ohio is hyphens, apostrophes and spaces. Only letters are allowed, no numbers.
oklahoma
Oklahoma has no name laws, but its system limits names to the English alphabet.
oregon
texas
First, middle and last name must stay under 100 letters total. Special characters, numbers and diacritical marks—like accents, tildes or umlauts—may not be used. So John Smith III is a go but not John Smith the 3rd—and no way, José!
utah
Utah says using marks not found on a keyboard “would make applying for and receiving a birth certificate more laborious.”
vermont
Oregon’s computer system can handle 40 special characters, including â, é, î, õ and ü.
VT says, “You may use trademarked names (IBM), diseases (Anthrax) and obscenities, but we highly recommend against it.”
rhode island
washington
Diacritical marks can’t be used on a birth certificate. But the state allows parents to use Aña or Zoë on other documents.
south carolina
Want to name your baby K8? In South Carolina you can. Numbers and symbols (think: M!ke) are both allowed.
south dakota
The only guideline is on length—30 characters for first names; 50 for middle and last.
west virginia
Only letters from the English alphabet are acceptable. This rules out umlauts and tildes. Numbers and symbols are banned too.
wisconsin
Spaces, hyphens and apostrophes are the only acceptable punctuation.
When one Wisconsin mom wanted to name her child a numeral, the state required that the number be spelled out.
tennessee
wyoming
Tennessee law is silent on first names, but there are a few complex last name rules.
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The official record cannot reflect foreign characters (sorry Esmé and Björn).
THINKSTOCK
north dakota
Look up name meanings at TheBump.com/babynames
5/18/15 11:24 AM
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mom knows best
When it comes to baby and pregnancy products, the most innovative pieces come straight from moms. Here are our faves!
nutrition for a healthy mom and baby
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Get your pregnancy off to a great start with gentle O-Cal Prenatal Vitamins and non-constipating Ferretts Iron Supplements, and O-Cal-ette Nursing Cups. Better tolerated for better results—feel the difference. Get free shipping with code: BUMP15. Pharmics.com; (800) 456-4138
looking good
WHAT IT IS: Amalou Skin INVENTED BY: Kitty Giusio and Ellie Magnuson
Amalou Skin is the only full face care line that addresses pregnancy-related blemishes. Created by moms in search of a safer solution to acne, Amalou’s maternity-conscious products have no potentially harmful ingredients and leave skin glowing. AmalouSkin.com; (203) 403-3686
affordable, fashionable maternity clothes WHAT IT IS: Bella Bump Maternity INVENTED BY: Cynthia Gonzalez,
while pregnant with her first child When our founder was pregnant, she couldn’t find any affordable, fashionable, comfortable maternity clothes. Fast forward two years later, and Bella Bump Maternity was born. Our brand proudly offers American-made clothing. Bella-Bump.com; (619) 717-7107
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celebrate Taking OTC meds, playing music in utero, counting baby’s kicks and more…
Can I take ibuprofen while pregnant? No, stay away from ibuprofen, commonly known by the brand names Motrin and Advil, right now. It can lead to serious problems for baby if you take it after 30 weeks or so. “Ibuprofen can cause an important passageway in baby’s heart to close when taken in late pregnancy. That passage needs to stay open while baby is still inside the uterus and is meant to close up soon after birth,” says Kelly Kasper, MD, ob-gyn and associate clinical professor at the Indiana University School of Medicine. “If it does close before birth, it can cause problems, including heart or lung damage and death.” Already took ibuprofen? Don’t freak out. “A one-time dose isn’t going to hurt baby, even if you took it past the 30week mark,” Kasper says. “The serious and scary side effects tend to occur with repeated, chronic use of the medication. If you happened to take a dose of Advil because you had a headache last week and you’re at 33 weeks, baby will be fine.” What about acetaminophen? Yes, go ahead and take acetaminophen (Tylenol). “We consider acetaminophen very safe to take in pregnancy,” says Kasper. Always follow dosing instructions closely, though. Too much acetaminophen
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is hard on your liver—and baby’s too. Also important: Don’t combine it with other medications without checking with your doctor first, since some of them (such as cold meds) contain acetaminophen too. Can playing music to baby in utero make him smarter? “There are no studies that say playing music to babies in utero makes them smart,” says Kasper. Of course, that doesn’t mean that listening to Beethoven, Bach or even Beyoncé prebirth doesn’t make baby smarter. There’s just no way to tell for sure. “You can’t study babies in utero,” Kasper notes. “You can’t see how their neurons respond to music. It’s impossible.” What’s certain is that babies can hear music (and other sounds) when they’re in the womb, and some scientific studies have reported what moms have known for years: Babies often move in response to music. “Some people might surmise from that, ‘Oh, baby likes it.’ Other people might surmise, ‘Oh, baby hates it,’ ” Kasper says. Hey, if you enjoy listening to music, go for it! Pick whatever tunes you like and crank them as loudly as you want. If it’s at all beneficial to baby, it’s probably because it helps mom-to-be relax. “A decrease in mom’s stress can have positive effects for baby,” Kasper says.
thebump.com
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If baby is moving less than usual, or if Should I line up a baby nurse for after you haven’t felt movement in a while, start baby arrives? What do they do? counting kicks. “Drink something cold and Baby nurses are pros at easing you— lie in a quiet room. Then see how long it and your brand-new baby—into your new takes to feel 10 movements,” says Goldman. life together. One can help establish a “If an hour—or at most, two hours—has bedtime routine, organize the nursery, and gone by and you haven’t felt at least 10 make sure you’re nourished and comfy movements, call the doctor.” after you’re home from the Not feeling 10 movements hospital. She can show you in an hour doesn’t necessarily how to deal with issues mean something is wrong. But like colic, gas and excessive Why do I have a lack of movement can indicrying, all of which can be a metallic taste cate a problem that could lead stressful, and pitch in with in my mouth? to stillbirth, so your doctor chores like packing the That funny will likely want to run tests to diaper bag and laundering metallic taste is check baby’s health—listening onesies. In deciding whether probably related to her heartbeat and possibly or not to hire one, consider to the high level doing an ultrasound or your situation. Do you have non-stress test. family or close friends nearby of estrogen in who are willing and able to your body, says Is it wrong to feel disappoinhelp you? Also think about Goldman. It ted about baby’s gender? your personality and whether usually fades as No, you might not hear about you and your partner will be pregnancy goes gender disappointment able to be up all night and on, the same way often because parents-to-be still function the next day. It’s morning sickness don’t always talk about it. definitely not easy. does. Eat acidic “There’s shame because foods, like citrus we’re supposed to feel grateHow often should my baby fruit or pickles, ful,” says Shoshana Bennett, be moving? PhD, a clinical psychologist. All babies are different. Some to cut the taste. Forgive yourself for feeling let are more active than others down—it’s a valid emotion. at different times, says Debra But remember that it’s based Goldman, MD, ob-gyn at on a fantasy of what your family should Women & Infants Hospital of Rhode be. “Talk about it with a trusted friend, so Island. Factors such as the location of you can let go of it quickly,” Bennett says. the placenta and baby’s positioning can “The truth is, you don’t know what this affect how much movement you feel. child’s temperament will be. They’ll have Some babies kick like crazy after dinner; their own passions. Look forward to discovothers go nuts at bedtime. With time, ering them along with him or her.” Good you’ll get to know your baby’s usual news: Gender disappointment tends to patterns of movement. Pay attention to disappear after birth. his habits and note any changes.
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Get answers to every question at TheBump.com/pregnancy
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moms in motion Social media has shined a spotlight on moms-to-be doing intense workouts like CrossFit, surfing and SoulCycle. Should these women be considered a cautionary tale—or an inspiration? BY AMANDA PRESSNER KREUSER
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only for advanced yogis
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ea-Ann Ellison, 35, never expected to find herself at the center of a social media firestorm. But when the Los Angeles–based mom of three logged on to her Facebook page one morning, she was stunned to find more than 5,000 comments on an image she had posted of herself lifting a barbell during her daily CrossFit workout. So why the backlash? Ellison was 32 weeks pregnant at the time—and the weight above her head looked almost as big as she was. “People wrote some very ignorant remarks, telling me that my choices were selfish and I was risking hurting my baby,” says Ellison. “They said I’d be to blame if anything happened to him.” But Ellison isn’t alone in catching heat for her fitness decisions. A few years earlier, mom-to-be Amber Miller ran the Chicago Marathon at 39 weeks pregnant—and gave birth to her daughter just hours later. Internet naysayers questioned Miller’s judgment and why she did something that seemed so extreme and self-involved at a time when she should have been focusing on her child. More recently, Kristina Olivares, an Australian surfer, raised eyebrows for riding waves through all nine months of her pregnancy.
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“People were telling me that my choices were selfish.” While all three women delivered very healthy babies, the controversy continues over whether or not moms-to-be should keep doing high-intensity workouts right up until childbirth. Can certain rigorous exercise subject expectant women and their babies to unnecessary risks—or is it somehow actually good for us?
cool it!
It takes momsto-be longer to cool down—give yourself at least 15 minutes.
experts weigh in
It seems that the expert consensus may fly in the face of what well-meaning moms, aunts and even friends have been telling you since you shared the happy news of your pregnancy. “As long as she consults with her doctor and gets clearance, there’s no reason that a healthy woman—one who is not deemed high risk—can’t continue the same type of workout she was doing prior to getting pregnant,” says Raul Artal, MD, editor for The American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists’ (ACOG) Clinical Updates in Women’s Health Care. Of course, not every type of activity is deemed safe. According to ACOG’s latest guidelines, you shouldn’t participate in contact sports like kickboxing and karate, or those activities in which you could inadvertently get hit with a ball, such as soccer or softball. You’ll also want to avoid the potentially hard falls you could take when skiing, snowboarding or horseback riding, and you should definitely skip scuba diving (it puts baby at risk for decompression sickness or even death). Artal confirms that even the popular training regimens that may seem extreme to some, like long-distance running, cross-training and indoor cycling, are safe for pregnant women to continue—but only if they’ve already been doing them regularly pre-pregnancy and they’re under the supervision of their physician. >
North Carolina thebump.com
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A far greater issue is that many expectant mothers stop being active altogether, which can lead to excessive weight gain and gestational diabetes, both of which can negatively impact the well-being of the fetus, Artal says. “In fact, we strongly recommend that moms-to-be aim to get at least 30 minutes of physical activity five times per week.”
a myth that won’t quit
a
Doctors now agree that perceived exertion, a self-reported measurement of how hard you feel you’re working out, should be the benchmark used for when to slow down or stop. If you chart your exertion on a scale of 1 to 10 (where 1 means you’re barely moving and 10 is a red alert and you’re almost completely out of breath), you want to stay within the 6 to 7 range. Working out in that zone (rather than a 3 or a 4) can actually have positive effects on your pregnancy, according to research. To stay in a safe range, Pivarnik recommends making sure you can still hold a conversation during most of your workout (if not, slow down) and to stop immediately if you begin to feel weak, dizzy or in pain. It’s also essential to keep yourself well hydrated and avoid becoming overheated. That means while a prenatal yoga class is a good idea, a Bikram (hot) yoga class definitely isn’t. And when doing traditional yoga, you may have to modify your moves so you stay comfortable. If you’re exercising in a class setting, make sure the room you’re in has good airflow and you’re positioned near a door so you can make an easy exit if necessary.
E b a a o c w s a
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Somewhere along the way, you may have heard that exercise during pregnancy is only safe if you avoid letting your heart rate go above 140 beats per minute. So then how can super-active workouts like spinning, Zumba or circuit training actually be good for you? Well, it turns out that number is old news. “The 140-beats-per-minute recommendation is outdated—and it’s long since been tossed out by the medical community,” says James Pivarnik, PhD, FACSM, professor of kinesiology and epidemiology at Michigan State University. And Artal, who was among the doctors who came up with the 140-beats-per-minute guideline a few decades ago, confirms that sentiment. “Newer research has since shown that our original theory was invalid,” he says.
new exercise guidelines
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adjusting your routine
Even the most well-conditioned fitness buffs among us may need to make adjustments to our exercise routines to accommodate the changing demands on our bodies during pregnancy. These changes may include lifting lighter weights, pedaling more slowly during a spin class or running fewer miles at a reduced pace. “You don’t have to stop doing your favorite workout,” says Pivarnik, “but you need to be particularly vigilant about listening to your body and not pushing yourself to do more than what feels comfortable.” Pivarnik explains that pregnant women can be at slightly higher risk for injury because their bodies are producing higher levels of relaxin, a hormone that loosens up your ligaments and joints. While relaxin makes your body better prepared for labor, its increase also means you’re more susceptible to rolling your ankles or over-stretching your joints. “If you’re not sure how to best modify your movements,” don’t be afraid to ask your instructor to help you, says Jolie Walsh, a New York City–based SoulCycle instructor, who continued to teach and ride throughout both of her pregnancies.
focusing on the positive
Even if you’re making all the right moves to keep you and baby safe as your belly grows, you may still encounter comments from others about your exercise regimen. “There were a few people at my gym who didn’t agree with my exercise program,” says Tass Vorous, 36, who did classes like Zumba and Tabata throughout her pregnancy. “To deal with any negativity, I just focused on the support from the other expecting moms—we were almost like a tribe going through this together!” The bottom line: Doctors agree it’s critical to remain active during your pregnancy—so long as you’ve come up with a plan with your ob-gyn and follow all her instructions for keeping you and baby safe. Sticking with the workout you love may be the best way to prepare your body (and baby’s!) for the marathon of labor and delivery ahead. “After I got pregnant, my whole mind-set about working out changed,” recalls Ellison. “It wasn’t a competition anymore. It wasn’t about looking good anymore. Exercise was about staying strong and healthy so that I could be in great shape for one of the most important events of my life: helping my new baby come into the world.”
get in gear While you’re modifying your workout, update what’s in your gym bag.
GETTY IMAGES
JUNO SPORTS BRA
The super-comfy straps on this full-motion, ultrasupportive sports bra completely detach, so you can use it later for nursing. From $33, Moving Comfort.com
BOPPLE BOTTLE SPORT
ASICS GEL-KAYANO 20 LITE-SHOW
FIT BIT FLEX ACTIVITY TRACKER
This BPA-free water bottle has a replaceable carbon filter (which traps chlorine), so you can refill it on the go. $11, WaterBobble.com
These ultrastabilizing sneakers will help stop your ankles from rolling and cushion your feet. $170, Asics America.com
Keep yourself motivated to move with this wristband that tracks your steps, distance and calories burned. $100, FitBit.com
Find more exercise tips at TheBump.com/pregfit
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wide stripes + neutrals= chic mama
olivia wilde’ s inspiring looks After stalking the star’s maternity wardrobe, this is what we’ve learned.
wear a belt above your bump to accentuate it
CLOCKWISE FROM TOP LEFT: GETTY IMAGES; PR PHOTOS (3)
basic black isn’t just safe—it’s timelessly glam don’t be afraid of a slinky dress
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Catch up on celeb pregnancies at Blog.TheBump.com
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symptoms you should
never ignore
News flash: There are a lot of changes going on right now. And some pretty weird things might happen—some are normal; others you should call your doctor about. BY ELENA DONOVAN MAUER PHOTOGRAPHY BY KT MERRY
If you spot or bleed (down there), you’ll probably freak out a little bit—but there are times when a tinge of blood is no big deal, say if you had sex recently, in which case you might have just irritated your cervix a bit (it’s more sensitive while you’re pregnant). Of course, bleeding can be a sign of something very serious—like a miscarriage or a problem with the placenta such as a placental abruption or placenta previa—so any time you do bleed, notify your ob-gyn or midwife just in case.
pain in the belly
Some aches and pains are to be expected (obviously!). After all, baby’s getting bigger by the day, and your muscles
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FASHION STYLING: ANNIE NICHOLAS FOR ENNIS INC.; HAIR AND MAKEUP: SUSAN DONOGHUE FOR ENNIS INC.
whoa! there’s blood
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and ligaments are stretching—that can cause discomfort called round ligament pain, which isn’t worrisome. But if pain is severe, constant or if there’s bleeding or other symptoms, call. It could be a miscarriage, ectopic pregnancy or a cyst.
looking puffy
Granted, gaining four pounds a month is going to leave you looking fuller, but pay particular attention to your face and hands or severe and sudden swelling in your ankles and feet. This could be a sign of preeclampsia, also known as pregnancyinduced hypertension. It happens in about 5 to 10 percent of pregnancies. It’s serious, since it can affect the placenta, as well as your kidneys, liver and brain. Call your doctor so he can give you an exam and test your blood and urine.
FASHION STYLING: ANNIE NICHOLAS FOR ENNIS INC.; HAIR AND MAKEUP: SUSAN DONOGHUE FOR ENNIS INC.
a shocker at the scale
You’re supposed to gain around 25 to 35 pounds if you have an average starting weight, but if you put on more than two pounds in a week, that could be another sign of preeclampsia.
itching and itching and itching
Your skin could be itchy simply because it’s dry and stretched, or you could get a nasty rash called PUPPP, which is irritating but not harmful. But, if you have allover or severe itching, talk to your OB. She may have to do a special test to rule out cholestasis of pregnancy—a liver disorder that can cause preterm labor and stillbirth.
spiking temperature
If you get a fever that lasts longer than 24 to 36 hours, see the doctor, so you can be diagnosed and treated quickly. There are a whole host of viruses that could be causing it, including a simple cold or flu, which aren’t usually a big deal, or something more serious, like cytomegalovirus or toxoplasmosis, which pose risks to baby if they’re left untreated.
hey, what happened to the kicks? If baby’s movements are pretty regular, that’s reassurance that everything’s A-OK, but if you notice a change in his kicking patterns, it’s worth the trip to the doctor’s office to check on his well-being.
“If you notice a change in baby’s kicking pattern, it’s always worth a trip to the doctor to check on him.” more than just a backache
Got pain in your back that just doesn’t quit? Your doctor should check to make sure any lingering backache is just normal pregnancy pain and not a sign of a kidney or bladder infection, cyst, miscarriage or preterm labor, since it might be pretty difficult to tell the difference yourself.
seeing blurry
If you stood up too fast, you could just be experiencing some normal pregnancy dizziness. But blurry vision that’s persistent or comes along with other symptoms, such as swelling, abdominal pain, headache or rapid weight gain, could be a sign of preeclampsia or gestational diabetes, both of which require medical treatment.
a gush of fluid—it’s go time!
This isn’t your average pregnancy discharge. Feeling constantly wet down there or having a trickle (or gush!) of fluid can mean that your water has broken. If that’s the case and you’re not in labor yet, you’re likely to be within 24 hours. Either way, it’s important that your doctor knows ASAP!
Check your symptoms at TheBump.com/symptoms
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glow An outtie belly button, midnight snacks, orgasms and more…
Why don’t I have the “pregnancy glow” everyone talks about? My skin actually looks awful. What’s the deal? Sorry, but the truth is shiny might be more like it; here’s why, according to Kenneth Mark, MD, board certified dermatologist, clinical assistant professor of dermatology at New York University. shine Blame it on hormones pushing your glands into overdrive. Specifically, an increase in progesterone levels is to blame for a super-shiny complexion. HOW TO FIX IT Wash with a mild cleanser. Avoid using harsh soaps or chemicals, and don’t wash more than twice a day, which can actually backfire and create more oil. pimples Your sebaceous glands are working overtime now—especially in those first three months when progesterone and estrogen levels are on the rise. HOW TO FIX IT The good news: Acne usually clears up on its own eventually. In the meantime, just use a mild cleanser and ask your doctor about topical treatments. redness If your once-attractive blush has veered off into blotchy, red-faced territory, the culprits are your hormones (again) and a blood flow increase of up to 50 percent. HOW TO FIX IT Avoid hot, spicy foods— they’ll just up your circulation even more. Slather on antioxidant cream rich in ingredients like green tea, vitamin C and vitamin E.
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What’s the deal with eating carbs during pregnancy? Should I? Which ones? Pregnancy is not the time to go low-carb. Carbohydrates give you energy and can be an important source of fiber and other nutrients. About half your calories should come from carbs during pregnancy. But all carbs are not created equal. Simple carbs are quickly converted to sugar in the body. They provide a quick burst of energy, with not much in the way of sticking power, says Debra Goldman, MD, an ob-gyn at Women & Infants Hospital of Rhode Island. To avoid simple carbs, stay away from processed and refined foods, since they contain more of them—and they offer less nutrition. This includes white bread, white rice, chips and candy. Instead, choose complex carbs, which include whole-grains such as oatmeal, legumes such as dried beans, and starchy vegetables. They take longer to break down in the body, providing energy over time. They also have fiber. Pregnant women should eat 9 to 11 servings of carbohydrates per day. (Before you go nuts, know that a serving size of carbs is smaller than you probably think: 1/3 cup of rice counts as a serving. So does 1/2 of an English muffin or 1 ounce of cereal.) Aim for about half of your carb intake to come from whole grains.
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Instead, stock up on lean proteinMy belly button was an innie. Now it’s rich snacks. “Protein takes a little longer an outtie! Why? to metabolize; it stays around awhile so “The common joke is that your belly button you’re not as likely to get hungry as quickly is your turkey timer; it pops out when afterwards,” Kasper says. In other words, it’s time to have baby,” says Kelly eating a protein-rich midnight snack Kasper, MD, ob-gyn and associate clinical will help you make it until morning. Lowprofessor at the Indiana University School fat yogurt, trail mix, nuts and of Medicine. But really, your string cheese are good bets. belly button has turned inside Other healthy options include out simply because baby’s whole-wheat toast with getting pretty big. My belly got As baby and your belly super-hard after peanut butter, low-fat cheese with crackers or half a turkey grow, the muscles of your an orgasm. sandwich served on wholeabdomen stretch. The belly Should I worry? wheat bread. button area doesn’t have No, your uterus much muscle over it, so when has always I’m overweight. How can I your uterus begins to push contracted when find a doctor with experience against it from the inside, it easily gets pushed outward, you orgasm. Now seeing patients like me? Start with recommendations Kasper says. it’s a lot bigger from friends or family Miss your old innie? Good so you notice it members. Scan your health news: Your belly button more. This won’t insurance book or website should return to normal within hurt baby, and to see which doctors are a few months of giving birth. is normal unless covered by your plan. Then it’s severe, lasts schedule an appointment to I keep waking up in the more than a few meet and get a feel for their middle of the night hungry! minutes, or comes personality and practice. What should I snack on? with bright During the interview, ask Something tasty! Seriously, about their experience and there’s no need to force down red bleeding. approach to caring for plus-size snacks you hate; otherwise, pregnant women. “Ask the what’s the point of getting ob-gyn if they’re comfortable out of bed? But that doesn’t with managing plus-size women, mean you have free rein to eat anything and whether the facility they’re using and everything you’re craving. High-fat, is equipped for it,” Goldman says. “You high-salt, high-sugar and highly processed want a provider who knows how to foods aren’t good for anyone, and such identify, reduce and manage the risk that empty calories make it extremely easy for a can come with a plus-size pregnancy.” pregnant woman to gain extra weight without actually getting enough nutrition for her You also want someone who treats you with respect and makes you feel and baby (one to two pounds per week comfortable and positive. in the second and third trimesters is ideal).
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Look your best with tips at TheBump.com/glow
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nest
cool and collected
See how Christine Schmidt of Yellow Owl Workshop created a worldly and one-of-a kind room for baby Emilia. BY ELENA DONOVAN MAUER PHOTOGRAPHY BY THAYER ALLYSON GOWDY >
a souvenir from japan is a playful touch
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nest
handmade with love
As a designer of printed goods, it was only natural for Schmidt to make items herself, including the twig-and-felt mobile. Mixing new things—a Jenny Lind crib—with sentimental pieces, like a rocking horse made by an uncle, gives the room a collected look. >
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nest
pulling it all together
Schmidt shied away from theme and gender specificity so her daughter could make the room her own. When pieces don’t match, repeat an element throughout, she says. “Bright red ties the room together. I use that color all the time—I just can’t help it.”
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STYLING: MIRANDA JONES
vintage screen print map
Get more nursery inspiration at TheBump.com/nursery
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what to
register for
Pulling together a well-stocked nursery starts with registering for all the essentials. Use this list as your guide. PHOTOGRAPH BY LAURE JOLIET
PHOTO CREDIT
art from animalprintshop.com
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nursery
bath
medicine cabinet
Crib, cradle or bassinet
Baby bathtub
Baby lotion
Crib mattress
Baby soap/shampoo
Baby nail clippers
2–3 waterproof crib mattress pads
2–4 soft towels or hooded baby towels
2–3 fitted crib sheets
Baby hairbrush
Cotton balls (don’t use swabs to clean baby’s nose or ears)
4–6 soft, light receiving blankets
2–4 soft washcloths
1–2 heavier blankets
feeding
Bulb syringe/nasal aspirator
Rocking or arm chair
2–3 nursing bras
Medicine dropper
Sound machine or stereo to play music
Nursing pads
Crib mobile with blackand-white images
Nursing pillow
Petroleum jelly and sterile gauze (for circumcision care)
Baby monitor Night-light Dresser Toy basket Swing or bouncy chair
changing Changing table or cushioned changing pad for low dresser or bureau Changing table pad 2–3 changing table pad covers
PHOTO CREDIT
Diaper cream
Nipple cream Breast pump (even if you only plan to nurse, a pump will allow you to leave milk for baby if you want or need to separate)
watch the q-tips!
Infant acetaminophen (Tylenol) Saline nasal drops Baby gas drops Hand soap (for you)
Milk storage bags 10–16 BPA-free, 4-oz. bottles and nipples Bottle brush Dishwasher basket for small items 4–8 bibs 6–8 burp cloths (or cloth diapers) 2–4 pacifiers
10–12 soft washcloths (for wiping) or unscented baby wipes
High chair
Diaper wipe warmer
4–6 undershirts
One dozen cloth diapers and 6–8 diaper covers, or 2–3 large boxes of disposable newbornsize diapers
4–6 long-sleeve onesies
Diaper pail or trash can
Baby thermometer
clothing 4–6 footed outfits 4–6 sleep sacks or swaddle wraps Infant hats
s ta y sa f e
Skip the cr ib bumpers. They pose a suff ocation risk.
travel Infant or convertible car seat Stroller (reclining to almost flat for an infant) Umbrella stroller Diaper bag Portable changing pad Baby carrier/sling
No-scratch mittens
Create your ultimate list at TheBump.com/registry
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Modern nursery design, repurposing baby furniture, saving for college and more…
How can I make the nursery modern yet still appropriate for baby? Zero in on furniture, colors and accents that echo your home’s clean, sleek aesthetic, then add a touch of whimsy, says Shalena Smith, of Shalena Smith Interiors and founder of GaGa Designs. Color is one way to play with that idea. Pair an on-trend power neutral, like gray, taupe or white, with a punchy color, like hot pink, turquoise or yellow. “It makes the space feel more fun and kid friendly, and you can update it easily too,” Smith says. “Bring in the color with a throw blanket, bed skirt, pillows—things that are less expensive and labor intensive to switch out. Or, invest in good quality window treatments.” Choose artwork that ties in with the room’s accent colors and theme, if there is one. Smith suggests personalized pieces, like family photos blown up on canvases. Don’t feel like wall art needs to be “babyish.” Abstract art makes baby’s room chic and adds high design. Light fixtures can also lend a stylish touch. That could mean anything from an ornate, sparkly chandelier to simple pendants or all-wood fixtures. And don’t forget about the floors. If yours are hardwood, choose a bright area rug to punch up yet soften the space.
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How can I repurpose baby’s furniture after he outgrows it? Pick pieces with longevity from the get-go. Here’s how to repurpose, recycle and reuse some nursery MVPs. CRIB Consider a model that converts into a toddler bed (bonus points if it also turns into a twin bed) to use for the long haul. DRESSER If space allows, invest in a model that has at least three adult-size drawers. This will give you plenty of room for stashing clothes, diapers and doodads. Use the top of the dresser now as a changing station— just attach and secure a pad. Once baby is potty trained, remove the pad and hang a mirror or a few shelves above it. BOOKSHELF Buy a unit that has a couple of drawers at the bottom. That’s because as kids grow older (and more hell-bent on wreaking havoc on your organization system), it’s easy to hide potential eyesores. ARMOIRE A nice compromise between a dresser and bookshelf, an armoire has space for hanging clothes, folded clothes, diapers and toys. And the armoire’s doors will hide any messes inside. Give the piece a coat of chalkboard paint to let it double as a cool place to scribble. GLIDER Choose one that’s easy to reupholster or use a slipcover to match another room. When you’re done with midnight feedings, it will probably end up elsewhere.
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Is it true I can get a free breast pump I’ve seen parents pushing shopping carts with car seats on top of them. Is that safe? through my health insurance? Yes, you may be able to—it depends on Nope. Because we see other parents with your plan. Part of the Affordable Care Act, their babies’ car seats perched on shopping the health insurance reform legislation that carts, we think it’s okay, but it’s actually went into effect August 1, 2012, is meant more dangerous than you probably think. to give people better access to preventive Shopping carts can tip over easily—and care—that includes helping they’re more likely to if there’s a pregnant women and new car seat mounted on them, moms pay for lactation support, says Debra Holtzman, author What is a 529 counseling and breastfeeding of The Safe Baby. “The cart has savings plan? equipment. So now, many a narrow wheel base in relation It’s a plan health insurance plans cover to its height, so the center of operated by the cost of a breast pump gravity is affected when you the state or an (hooray!). How to get one: put a child in it,” she says. “When the car seat is on top CHECK YOUR PLAN First, call your educational of it, the center of gravity is health insurance company institution to affected even more, increasing and ask what’s covered and help parents put the chances of tipping.” what you need to do to get it. away money for Adding groceries and other It could be completely free a child’s college swag to your cart makes it or come with a co-pay. tuition with tax even more unstable. “If the FIND AN IN-NETWORK PROVIDER advantages. car seat flips, your child will Your breast pump may be There are several be trapped,” says Tom Patire, covered only if you buy it types of plans safety expert and author of in the right place, so make available, so talk the Personal Protection Handsure you get the list from book. Instead of mounting your insurance carrier of its to a financial the car seat on the shopping in-network providers. There advisor to see cart, choose an alternative: may be some paperwork which might be you need to fill out too. DO TAG-TEAM SHOPPING Let right for you. your partner take care of baby PICK A GOOD PUMP A doublewhile you do the shopping, electric pump is a must-have or vice versa. Or bring along a for a working mom who plans friend who can hold baby (or push him in to breastfeed. Go to TheBump.com to a stroller) while you use the cart. see our recommendations. USE A BABY CARRIER OR SLING Baby is much PRACTICE, PRACTICE, PRACTICE After baby more stable strapped to your body than he is born, practice using your breast pump, would be perched on a shopping cart. and save up some extra breast milk before your first day back to work. Knowing you TAKE SHORTER, MORE FREQUENT TRIPS Get have a freezer stocked with breast milk just what you need for the next day or to give to baby’s caregiver will make the two. You’ll likely have enough room to tote transition less stressful. everything in the stroller basket.
Check out baby gear buying guides at TheBump.com/gear
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delivery
first-time coach? you’ve got this in the bag!
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lessons for a labor coach
Hand this advice (courtesy of a dad who’s learned a few things) to your partner. Tell him he can thank us later! BY ADRIAN KULP PHOTOGRAPHY BY KT MERRY
When it was my turn to coach my wife through the birth of our first, I wish I’d been better prepared. Case in point: As I rode the hospital elevator with another expectant dad, he asked me if I knew about “the bathing suit thing.” What!? (More on that below.) Since I’ve been down that road three times now, allow me to share my experiences with you, along with some advice from the experts.
you’ve got to make a plan
And I’m not talking about an escape plan! (It’s too late for that.) Before labor, sit down with your partner to map out how you want delivery day to go. To get started, research different hospitals, consult a doula or take a childbirth class together. Discuss what will make her feel positive and negative during a vulnerable time, says Latham Thomas, a doula and founder of MamaGlow.com. She recommends positive affirmations and guided imagery to help calm mom in the delivery room.
you should pack a few surprises
She’s giving you a child, the least you could do is give her a couple of lollipops, right!? You’ll win major points if you show up with some unexpected extras to comfort her, like her favorite music, some bottled water, mints or hard candies to alleviate dry mouth, and some lip balm. You have no idea how dry her lips and mouth can get during labor, Thomas says. Plus, the more prepared you are, the more relaxed everyone will be. >
North Carolina thebump.com
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delivery
Huh? As I mentioned, this one caught me off guard. Why? Am I headed to the hot tub with the nurses clocking out from the day shift? Nope, sorry. Even if you’re not planning on a water birth, there may actually be a time during the rigors of early labor when water therapy could be used to alleviate some of the pain and stress on mom. Many hospitals have a tub or whirlpool available in the maternity ward (the shower can be used too), and it’s not uncommon for a coach to jump in (no cannonballs, please!) and offer some physical and emotional support.
you’re going to have to get into position
Wait, isn’t that what got us into this mess to begin with? But seriously, delivery isn’t just exhausting for her; coaching can be labor-intensive for you too. As a coach, it’s important to help the process progress as much as possible, says Christina Sebestyen, MD, a physician and owner of OBGYN North in Austin, Texas. Part of that includes suggesting that your partner switch positions when she seems to be “hitting a wall.” Changing positions can bring some relief and rejuvenate her mental state, Sebestyen says. So prepare to bend or squat behind her or even squeeze into the bed with her—whatever you need to do to help support and comfort her while she’s experiencing pain.
you’re allowed to take a break
I’m not going to lie, seeing your partner in pain can be tough to take, and it’ll be even tougher to leave her side. But as much as you need to focus on her, you also have to take care of yourself. An exhausted, nauseated or panicked coach won’t do mom any good. A lot goes on during labor, and you could be in it for the long haul. To start, bring a few changes of comfortable clothes and your toiletry kit (or in my case, a gallon-size zip-top bag with my toothbrush and random bathroom gear). If you need to step away for a break—whether it’s to grab coffee or to collect yourself if you get queasy—don’t feel bad. Just have a pinch hitter on standby, like her mom or sister, to relieve you for a bit.
you might have to skip taco tuesday
“Please, please, no eating in the labor or delivery room,” is a common refrain dads hear. This one drives doctors crazy— you can’t imagine what people do. In fact, Sebestyen once found some family members sitting around eating take-out while the mom-to-be was mid-contraction. General Tso’s chicken with a side of grunting and screaming? Not a good idea. Instead, you want to help create a serene environment throughout the entire process. You never know when a certain smell, sound or action could upset your partner. Translation: Go eat in the lounge!
4 signs of labor BLOODY DISCHARGE
Sometimes called the “bloody show,” it occurs when labor is anywhere from a few minutes to hours away.
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LOSS OF THE MUCUS PLUG
This mucus-like membrane could come off all at once or little by little, like a thick discharge.
BROKEN WATER
When your water breaks, it might feel more like a trickle as opposed to a gush. Either way, call the doctor.
REGULAR CONTRACTIONS
If they’re coming five minutes apart and are centered in the pelvic area, it’s probably time!
STYLING: ANNIE CAVALLO FOR ENNIS INC.; HAIR AND MAKEUP: SUSAN DONOGHUE FOR ENNIS INC.
you may need a bathing suit
thebump.com
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STYLING: ANNIE CAVALLO FOR ENNIS INC.; HAIR AND MAKEUP: SUSAN DONOGHUE FOR ENNIS INC.
you’ll want to watch your p’s & q’s
Unless you want to get slapped across the face with a bag full of IV fluid, try to keep your complaining in check. Avoid any negative triggers, warns Linda Perry, a home birth midwife, who has been working with families for 23 years at Complete Woman Midwifery. I’m fairly certain these triggers could be physical actions—for instance, breathing through my mouth or cleaning my teeth with my tongue—but verbal too. Inappropriate banter includes: “Hon, how long do you think we’ll be here?” and “This stupid hospital guest chair is uncomfortable; it’s kind of digging into my back a little.” Seriously? Nothing you’re going through is anywhere near as bad as her situation, so suck it up and repeat after me: “This day is all about her!”
you’ve got to keep your head in the game
No matter how much you’ve planned in advance, you never know what might happen next in this whole crazy process. Regardless of whether or not labor and delivery takes two hours or turns into a 48-hour marathon, or if this is your first child or even your fifth, you’ll want to be prepared for the unexpected. The birth plan you come up with beforehand may all work out, but there’s a chance it will fall by the wayside, and if so, you’ll need to go with the flow. Get a good night’s rest during the weeks leading up to the due date, so you can be as present as possible for whatever may get thrown your way. Your job is to help maintain some semblance of peace and calm during the height of the storm, Thomas says.
you need to be an advocate for your partner
There may be times throughout labor when mom won’t be in the best frame of mind to ask for what she wants or needs. Instead of constantly repeating questions like “How are you doing?” try taking a more proactive approach. Go down the hall and get her a cup of ice chips, find a pillow or a sock full of tennis balls that she might want to put behind her back, or call a nurse to come adjust the pain medication if she’s using it. Oh, and don’t be afraid to speak up if the doctors and staff aren’t following the plan you and your wife discussed. There may be a good reason why they’re veering from the original instructions, but you won’t know unless you remind them of what you want.
Find more daddy must-reads at TheBump.com/dads
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delivery
my birth
story
North Carolina mom Elizabeth Halloran shares her baby’s quick and early delivery.
early bird
is this for real?
As we were on our way to the hospital, I started to feel little contractions, but we still didn’t call our families. We wanted to be sure it was the real thing before they all made the drive to Wilmington (my parents live in Durham and Brenden’s parents are in Ohio).
moving fast
When we checked in, the hospital confirmed I was definitely in labor, even though I was 0 centimeters dilated. By now it was 1 a.m., and we called my sister—our plan was to have her in the delivery room. She didn’t answer but I wasn’t worried, since the doctors told us it was going to be a long day. But they were wrong. By 4:20 a.m., my epidural was in place and I was at 3 centimeters. My
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contractions were getting stronger, and by 5 a.m., I was at 8 centimeters. Ten minutes later, they were calling for the doctor and Brenden was woken up just in time for me to start pushing (he had been sleeping since he thought it was going to be a while). A few minutes later we got to meet our son.
welcome, baby!
With Phelan arriving a little early, we were worried about his lung development, but he came out with a healthy scream. The doctors wiped him off and put him right on my chest, where he calmed down, and I got to snuggle him while they finished taking care of me. I honestly have no idea what they were doing—I was completely focused on my new family. My sister, who never made it to the hospital, finally called back at 5:45 a.m. and I was happy to report that she was officially an aunt.
the 411 BABY’S NAME Phelan McKie DELIVERY MUST-HAVE Headphones SIZE AT BIRTH 5 lbs., 15.6 oz. HOSPITAL Betty H. Cameron Women & Children’s Hospital
THINKSTOCK
I was just 36 weeks and three days along. My husband, Brenden, and I had just gotten into bed and he was feeling my belly—baby was in the middle of his nightly kick session— when all of a sudden, I felt what I thought was a major kick to my bladder. I jumped up and ran as fast as I could to the bathroom just in time to soak the floor—my water broke!
Prep yourself for delivery at TheBump.com/birth
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11%
of babies were born really early (before week 37)
came at 37 or 38 weeks
Count down to delivery at TheBump.com/calendar
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delivery Stages of labor, cutting the cord, perineal massage and more…
How far apart will the contractions be? Your body will go through a few different stages before you and baby meet. EARLY LABOR In the beginning, contractions typically last about 30 to 45 seconds, with anywhere from 5 to 30 minutes of rest between them, says Robert Wool, MD, clinical instructor of obstetrics and gynecology at Tufts University. Don’t panic to get to the hospital or birthing center right away, but prepare yourself to leave, especially if your contractions are growing more intense, lasting longer, and happening closer together. ACTIVE LABOR Soon enough, contractions will last about 45 to 60 seconds, with just 3 to 5 minutes of rest between each one. They’ll feel longer and stronger. If you haven’t already, this is the time to get to your birthing center or hospital. TRANSITION PHASE During the last phase before your cervix is fully dilated, contractions usually last 60 to 90 seconds, with just 30 seconds to 2 minutes rest between each, Wool says. They’re intense and can even overlap. This can be overwhelming. URGE TO PUSH Once your cervix is dilated to 10 centimeters, contractions last about the same—45 to 90 seconds with 3 to 5 minutes of rest between—and you’ll feel a strong urge to push. Rest between them, because you’re at the home stretch!
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Is there a benefit to waiting before my partner cuts the umbilical cord? Yes! Early cord clamping—almost immediately after birth—has been the standard for decades, but a 2013 review of 15 medical studies found that delaying cord cutting improved babies’ birth weight, blood concentration and iron stores at six months of age without increasing moms’ risk of bleeding. That’s because clamping the cord immediately deprives baby of some of his normal blood volume. By delaying cord clamping, you allow baby to equilibrate, and get nourishment and oxygen from your body as he learns to take his first breaths. It can take anywhere from a minute to three minutes or so for the cord to stop pulsating, at which point it will be done delivering all that goodness to baby. Delaying cord clamping and cutting, even if just for a minute or two, may decrease the chances of baby developing iron-deficiency anemia and improve his overall health, so it’s worth requesting. What is perineal massage? Your perineum is the area of skin and tissue that separates the vagina and the anus. Some women will massage this region in the weeks leading up to delivery to make the area more supple and pliable in an effort to help reduce the need for
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cally easier to deliver than large ones, an episiotomy (a surgical incision into the Wool notes. Of course, when you’re in this area) or tearing during delivery. final stage of labor, every minute may feel There’s not a lot of research to prove that like an hour, so prepare yourself mentally this prelabor self-massage actually helps, and physically by taking childbirth classes. says Michele Hakakha, MD, an ob-gyn in That way, push comes to shove (sorry, we private practice in Beverly Hills, California. couldn’t resist), you’ll know what to expect And some doctors think it can actually and feel strong and confident. thicken the tissue rather than make it softer, so the decision The doctor told me baby is whether or not to give it a go transverse. What does that is completely up to you. What is TENS? mean exactly? When it comes time for you Transcutaneous Baby usually hangs out in to deliver baby, your doctor or Electrical Nerve a few different positions while midwife may gently massage Stimulation. A in the womb. Sometimes the perineum, helping to relax TENS unit is a she’s head down (vertex), the tissue around baby’s head portable device sometimes head up (breech), as she crowns. This can make that delivers mild and occasionally she may labor and delivery go more bursts of lowbe sideways (transverse). smoothly and help minimize voltage electricity As you near delivery, she’ll tears—especially for first-time through the skin pick a position and stay that moms—which will make your way. Luckily, very few babies recovery more comfortable. to the nerves to interrupt the flow actually stay in a transverse position because the uterus is How long will I actually have of pain signals. built to stretch up and down, to push to deliver baby? Some moms not side to side, says Melissa The “push” phase of your swear it relieves M. Goist, MD, assistant delivery depends on many labor pains professor of obstetrics and different factors, including and others say gynecology at The Ohio State what kind of shape you’re in it didn’t work University Wexner Medical (fit = shorter), how big baby is for them. Center. Plus, gravity should (large = longer) and if you’ve help baby get into place. By received an epidural (meds 36 weeks, she’ll likely descend can = longer). Some women into the head-down position. But in some push for as long as four hours straight, cases she might become breech. Delivering and some deliver baby on their second a breech baby vaginally poses some risks, push, Wool says. so if that’s the case, your doctor may There are a few more rules of thumb ask if you want to try and turn baby with that can help you estimate whether you’ll an inversion procedure to get her into a push for a little or a lot of time: In general, vertex position. If that doesn’t work, you you’ll probably push longer with your may consider having a c-section. Discuss first baby than you will with subsequent the pros and cons with your OB. deliveries. Smaller babies are quite logi-
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Learn the ins and outs of delivery at TheBump.com/delivery
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basics
vaccine fears
If you follow the recommendations, baby will get five shots (and one liquid!) by the time he’s two months old. And it’s easy to wonder whether you’re doing the right thing. BY ELENA DONOVAN MAUER
Imagine if there was something you could do so baby would never get a life-threatening infection or a virus that could paralyze him. It seems so obvious you’d do it, right? But the parents who don’t vaccinate and the parents who do worry about it on the same level. So what’s really at the heart of the debate? We know beyond certainty that “vaccinating protects babies from dire infections, stuff that causes horrible
complications,” says Cheryl Wu, MD, a pediatrician in New York City. At the same time, information on the Internet and releases by anti-vaccine groups make them seem terribly unsafe and even medically unethical for doctors to administer. THE FEAR dangerous
side effects
Why give baby something that can cause diarrhea, allergic reaction, rash or fever?
what shots to get when
The CDC’s recommended vaccine schedule for baby’s first year-and-half.
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BIRTH
Hepatitis B (HepB)
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1 MONTH TO 2 MONTHS
Hepatitis B (HepB) [2nd dose] Rotavirus Diphtheria, tetanus and acellular pertussis (DTaP)
Haemophilus influenzae type b (Hib) Pneumococcal conjugate (PCV13) Inactivated poliovirus (IPV)
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The potential side effects are less scary than your baby getting, say, diphtheria (as many as 1 in 5 kids who get it dies) or polio (it can cause lifelong paralysis). “Minor side effects are common—a sore arm, body aches, maybe a fever,” says Ari Brown, MD, a pediatrician in Austin, Texas, and author of Baby 411. “Those are a small price to pay for protection against a disease that is much, much worse to experience.”
“200 studies have said there is no link between vaccines and autism.” “Significant adverse effects are rare,” Brown adds. “For instance, the risk of having an anaphylactic reaction is about one in a million. Could it happen? Yes. No medication is risk free. But, the risk is extremely low compared to the great benefit.” Vaccines undergo rigorous testing before they come out on the market, and there are regular follow-up tests, says Michael T. Brady, MD, chair of the American Academy of Pediatrics’s (AAP) Committee on Infectious Diseases and associate medical director at Nationwide Children’s Hospital in Columbus, Ohio.
THE FEAR autism
There’s a connection between vaccines and autism, right? Nope. The AAP, CDC, World Health Organization and the Institute of Medicine are all clear on this. Vaccines do not cause autism. Autism and vaccines were first linked in a study published in medical journal The Lancet in 1998, in which 12 children were reported as exhibiting autistic behaviors soon after receiving the measles, mumps and rubella (MMR) vaccine. No one should have taken the study seriously in the first place, says Wu. “Twelve is not enough of a sample to definitively establish causation or association.” Even worse, in 2010, the study was found to have been fraudulent—the doctor who reported it intentionally altered the results—and The Lancet retracted it completely. “In the meantime, some 200 studies were conducted that have said that there is definitively no causation between MMR and autism,” Wu says. “We need to focus our attention and the research dollars to more promising leads on the cause of autism—like early brain development in the womb and prenatal and perinatal risk factors that might be prevented,” Brown says. Other variables that could have an effect on autism risk could be mom and/or dad’s age at the time of conception, premature birth and even mom’s weight before pregnancy. >
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4 MONTHS
Rotavirus [2nd dose] Diphtheria, tetanus and acellular pertussis (DTaP) [2nd dose] Haemophilus influenzae type b (Hib) [2nd dose]
6 MONTHS
Pneumococcal conjugate (PCV13) [2nd dose] Inactivated poliovirus (IPV) [2nd dose]
Hepatitis B (HepB) [3rd dose] Diphtheria, tetanus and acellular pertussis (DTaP) [3rd dose] Pneumococcal conjugate (PCV13) [3rd dose] North Carolina thebump.com
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basics
THE FEAR “the other stuff” in the shot
THE FEAR
Can’t those preservatives harm my baby? You may have heard of thimerosal, a mercury-containing preservative used only in the influenza vaccine in the US, which worries some parents. “We have good data that says thimerosal in vaccines doesn’t cause problems,” says Brady, who notes that thimerosal is used more widely in vaccines in some other countries. Several studies, including one published in Pediatrics in 2010, have deemed it safe. THE FEAR
vaccines being useless
I doubt my baby will get polio—and measles is no big deal. What’s the point? It could take something as simple as someone with one of these conditions hopping a flight to cause an outbreak here, as it did recently with travelers carrying measles to the US, says Brown.
overdoing shots
Should a two-month-old baby really be given six vaccines at one appointment? “The worry is that you’ll overload a baby’s immune system and he won’t be able to handle it. But we know that’s not the case,” says Brady. “Vaccines provide only the minimum amount of material needed to create an immune response.” Because it seems like too much at once, some parents request a modified schedule, which means delaying shots, but that’s actually a gamble. “Being on the schedule means that the vaccine has been tested for this age,” Brady says. “We have evidence that this timing is safe and effective.” With a modified schedule, baby goes longer without protection—not a good idea when there have been outbreaks of measles and whooping cough in the US in recent years. “If a two-month-old gets whooping cough, he can die,” says Brown. “There’s no benefit in waiting—only risk.”
And sure, your parents may have had measles as kids and got through it, but it can lead to pneumonia and cause brain damage, deafness and even death. It’s so contagious that baby would only need to be in the same room as someone with it to catch it. In areas with fewer vaccinated kids, infections spread more easily. “I’ve been a pediatrician for 18 years, and I’m also a mom,” says Brown. “We all want to protect our kids. I vaccinated my children on the recommended schedule. I wouldn’t do anything differently for your kids.”
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12 MONTHS
15 MONTHS TO 18 MONTHS
Haemophilus influenzae type b (Hib) [3rd dose] Pneumococcal conjugate (PCV13) [4th dose]
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Inactivated poliovirus (IPV) [3rd dose] Measles, mumps, rubella (MMR) Varicella (VAR) Hepatitis A (HepA)
Diphtheria, tetanus and acellular pertussis (DTaP) [4th dose]
Get more info on vaccines at TheBump.com/vaccines
5/18/15 11:21 AM
prepare my child for a lifetime of learning The first two years of a child's life are important years for learning. Starting from birth, reading to your child will help develop learning skills that will be valuable later in life. It's one of the most important things you can do to prepare your little one for a lifetime of learning.
Your public library is here to help you and your baby on this journey. Visit cmlibrary.org/children to find children's reading recommendations and group storytimes at libraries in Mecklenburg County, NC.
Visit us @ cmlibrary.org
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basics
head of the
class
Sorry, but baby won’t be arriving with a manual. Luckily these local classes will help you ace this whole parenting thing. BY ANISA ARSENAULT
car seat safety
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basics Baby poop, beer and breastfeeding, hiring a sitter and more…
When does breastfeeding get easier? Very soon. The first few days may be tough because your milk may not have come in, but it usually does within a couple days. You and baby may also have trouble getting the latch right, which can be painful and frustrating. Often, all it takes is practice, but it’s also smart to call a pro—a pediatrician, lactation consultant or a postpartum doula or nurse—to help you both get the hang of it. The earlier you can correct a problem, the more likely you and baby are to get on track. Since breast milk production is based on supply and demand, baby’s feeding prompts your body to keep making milk, so it’s important to nurse frequently. If you feel like all you’re doing is feeding your newborn, you’re actually doing it right! Don’t worry, he’ll get more efficient, and feedings will take less of your time in the coming weeks and months. “I’m a pediatrician and I’ve cried many times with all three of my kids due to breastfeeding frustrations the first two weeks,” says Josephine DlugopolskiGach, MD, pediatrician at Loyola University Medical Center. “After a few weeks, the babies and I both ‘got it.’” Other moms we know pretty much agree that breastfeeding got easier by three to four weeks, so hang in there!
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What should baby’s poop look like? If you’re breastfeeding, baby’s poop should be bright yellow, seedy and watery, and come 4 to 10 times a day. But for formula-fed babies, poop usually looks different. “It’s a little more greenish brown in color, pastier and usually less frequent,” says Sabrina Braham, MD, pediatrician in Menlo Park, California, and adjunct clinical faculty member at Stanford University. A formula-fed baby may only poop once a day. “Stool can vary day to day in breastfed babies but less in formula-fed babies.” Should I give my baby fluoride? No, babies less than six months old do not need fluoride supplements, but older kids may need them, depending on the amount of natural fluoride in your water, says Michael Lee, MD, assistant professor of pediatrics at UT Southwestern Medical Center and pediatrician at Children’s Medical Center Dallas. Call your local water utility about your water supply. If it contains between 0.7 and 1.2 parts per million of fluoride, you’re good to go. If your water supply comes from a private well and has less than 0.7 parts per million, or if your family drinks bottled water, fluoride supplements are recommended for toddlers, Lee says. Your child’s dentist or pediatrician can prescribe one.
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and guidelines for other tasks. That also Can drinking a beer really help with my means spelling out terms for your sitter breast milk supply? herself. Some good rules to start out with: There’s some truth to this old wives’ Show up on time, no texting or using cell tale. There’s an ingredient in beer—both phones for personal calls, no visitors, and alcoholic and nonalcoholic—that can always engage with baby by doing agetrigger the release of prolactin, a hormone appropriate activities together. that stimulates milk production. But no Things not working out as one has been able to prove planned? Talk to your sitter that drinking beer actually if there’s an issue. Most of the increases milk supply, says time you just need to clarify Amy Spangler, MN, RN, How long after your expectations to her. IBCLC, author of Breastfeeding: birth will it hurt “Speak calmly and include A Parent’s Guide. Plus, alcohol down there? solutions for any problem,” passes readily into breast Your rate of Kallweit says. milk, and even small amounts recovery depends of alcohol can affect milk Help! I have to go back to work production and milk release, on your physical and I’m having trouble getting Spangler says. (Defeats the condition and baby to take a bottle. purpose, right?) Most experts how much birth A lot of breastfed babies refuse recommend that breastfeeding beat you up, but everything but the real deal mothers drink no more than most moms feel at first. Be patient and know two drinks (that means two a whole lot better that with time (and hunger) ounces of liquor, eight ounces by six weeks baby will eventually accept of wine or two beers) per postpartum. something new. week to prevent baby from Every day will being exposed to alcohol FIND THE RIGHT BOTTLE NIPPLE get a little better, and keep your body’s milk Experiment with a variety production on track. Bottom (slow-flow, fast-flow, wide so just take it line: If you want to put this one achy morning base, narrow base, firm, flextheory to the test, go ahead, ible) to see which ones your at a time. but stick to nonalcoholic beer. baby will accept. Babies typically prefer the flow rate We’re hiring a new sitter. How (slow, medium, fast) that should we set the ground rules? matches their sucking skills. Watch baby Spell out your expectations from the closely during bottle feedings to get-go. “Never leave it up to the sitter see which type she’s adjusting to best. to assume that you need certain things BOTTLE-FEED THE RIGHT WAY Hold baby handled a certain way,” says Adrienne upright and encourage her to pause after Kallweit, founder of SeekingSitters, a few sucks. Stop the feeding as soon a national babysitting referral company. as baby shows signs of fullness. If baby Your ground rules might include basics still refuses a bottle, try a cup. Even on what to feed baby, nap schedules young babies can learn to drink from one.
Get all the baby basics at TheBump.com/baby
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beyond add personalization
reading light is key
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ready for
bed
Time to ditch the crib? Bring on the big kid bed, along with some playful new design elements. PHOTOGRAPH BY HELYNN OSPINA
Your toddler may be ready for a big kid bed between age one-and-a-half and three. “I tell parents to put the bed in the room while there’s still a crib, so the child gets excited to sleep in it,” says Emily Mughannam of EM Design Interiors, who created this room for three-year-old Aden. “This a good time to redesign because they have a more developed personality and new interests.” Infuse your child’s favorite things in subtle, fun ways, like the car, truck and tractor on Aden’s pillow, wall art and dresser.
Find a toddler bed at TheBump.com/toptoddlerbeds
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beyond
5 toddler-friendly
hot spots
Baby will be walking before you know it. Get ready to explore together at one of these fun local places. BY MADELINE SCHMITZ PHOTOGRAPH BY KT MERRY
300 E. 7th St., Charlotte; (704) 416-4600; ImaginOn.org Part library, part children’s theater and part community learning center, there’s plenty to keep your toddler busy during an afternoon at ImaginOn. Visit the children’s library to browse the collection of totfriendly books, then watch the very same stories and their characters come to life on stage. For other fun events throughout the year check their calendar.
Lazy 5 Ranch
15100 Mooresville Road, Mooresville; (704) 663-5100; Lazy5Ranch.com Go on an exotic animal adventure without leaving the state at this privately owned ranch that’s home to over 750 animals from six continents. You can hop on the wagon tour or drive your car down the safari path to check out giraffes, rhinos, zebras and more. Your toddler will love seeing her favorite animals up close, and you’ll love that you don’t have to push a stroller everywhere!
Discovery Place
301 N. Tyron St., Charlotte; (704) 372-6261; DiscoveryPlace.org This family-friendly science museum houses KidScience, an exhibition designed for the museum’s youngest visitors. Here, your toddler can build with soft foam blocks, play with K’Nex race cars, experiment with color mixing, spin a rain stick or just hang out in the toddler area, where he’ll find a unique playhouse and silly Giggle Flowers to entertain him.
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Sarah P. Duke Gardens
420 Anderson St., Durham; (919) 684-3698; Gardens.Duke.edu Clocking in at 55 acres, these free gardens are one of the most beautiful hot spots to visit with your tot. Take a long, leisurely walk through the entire property to observe the dozens of plants and animals, or stop by the Discovery Garden to learn how a seed turns into a flower. Special daily programs are available for kids of all ages and expose children to flowers and critters galore. Don’t forget to stop by the Terrace Shop to pick up a nature-inspired toy or book or a little plant you two can nurture together at home.
Marbles Kids Museum
201 E. Hargett St., Raleigh; (919) 834-4040; MarblesKidsMuseum.org Exhibits at this interactive museum are hands on and minds on, meaning that your toddler will have the chance to touch, hear and see all the things that he’s learning about. In the adorable woodland-themed Toddlers Hollow, your tot can perfect his balance on the meandering bridge, dress up as a forest creature, or play and explore with kids his own age, developing important social skills.
STYLING: ANNIE CAVALLO FOR ENNIS INC.; GROOMING: SUSAN DONOGHUE FOR ENNIS INC.
ImaginOn
Get more toddler tips at TheBump.com/tots
5/18/15 11:22 AM
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beyond
I n m t d p u f w M m r e
what parents around the world
think you’re doing wrong Midnight feedings, picky eating and baby poop are things parents across the globe deal with daily. But how we handle them can be vastly different.
CHINA
your six-month-old should be potty trained
In some countries, they don’t use diapers, at least not for long. “In rural China, when baby sits up, that’s when it’s time to potty train,” says Mei-Ling Hopgood, author of How Eskimos Keep Their Babies Warm. “Children are trained
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by 18 months old, and often earlier.” Every two hours or so, a Chinese mom squats her child over a basin or in the yard and makes a noise. As a result, the child learns to pee or poop when they hear it! Maybe some American parents aren’t excited about going diaper-free, but there are some who use a take on this method dubbed Elimination Communication (EC).
JENNIFER PARKE PHOTOGRAPHY
BY KRISTI VALENTINI
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b s a S m z m N
COSTA RICA
you’re a prude for covering up while breastfeeding
It seems like every new mama includes a nursing cover on her baby registry, and most feel nervous the first time they have to use it out in public. But those inhibitions don’t exist in many other countries—heck, plenty of mamas around the globe don’t use a cover-up at all. “In Costa Rica, breastfeeding is a priority and you see it everywhere, no matter the time or place,” says Maribel Reyes, a mom of two who recently moved there. Remember: You have the right to feed your baby wherever and whenever you want. You don’t have to be shy. JAPAN
you’re cold for using a crib
For most of the world, having your baby sleep separately is totally foreign. “Parents in most other countries believe that being together in the nighttime is an essential part of bonding with baby,” says Christine Gross-Loh, PhD, author of Parenting Without Borders. “When I was in Japan, some of my friends couldn’t believe that American babies are expected to learn how to go to sleep by themselves.” The problem with having baby sleep in your bed is that it can pose a SIDS risk. So consider a bedside bassinet to promote parent-baby communication. FRANCE
JENNIFER PARKE PHOTOGRAPHY
feeding baby plain cereal is confining
“In France, they introduce babies to a variety of foods early and have so many baby food flavors, like fish and chocolate rice cereal,” says Natalia Simmons, an American mom of two who moved to France. Leek soup, endive, zucchini, pumpkin and spinach are recommended as first foods by doctors there. Nothing wrong with feeding them to baby.
KENYA
push baby in a stroller? no way!
Kenyan mothers shun strollers and, instead, carry their babies on their backs. Not only because it’s convenient in a country full of potholed dirt roads, but also because being close to mom is comforting, Hopgood notes. Japanese parents have a similar mindset. “In Japan, there’s this concept called ‘skinship.’ It’s the notion that babies and children really need to have plenty of physical contact with their loved ones to grow up secure,” Gross-Loh says. Why not cut out some stroller time and mix in babywearing too? Research suggests that keeping your little one close for at least three hours a day has shown to lessen crying bouts by nearly 50 percent. It may also increase your milk supply and reduce your risk of postpartum depression.
“In France, there are so many baby food flavors, like fish and chocolate cereal.” CANADA
you should be teaching your toddler to talk to strangers
Ali Goldfield, a family counselor in Canada, points out that there’s a disadvantage to labeling all strangers bad: “If your child is lost, how is he going to find help without talking to a stranger?” Instead, she recommends helping kids to recognize creepy adult behaviors and telling them what to do when they spot it. “Looking at other cultures makes you realize there are a million ways to raise a happy, healthy child,” Hopgood says.
Learn about the world’s maternity leave at TheBump.com/worldmatleave
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toddler Weaning, toddler toys, starting preschool and more…
We’re both ready. How do I wean my toddler from breastfeeding? Great job for nursing into toddlerhood! The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends breastfeeding for at least a year, but only about 27 percent of moms and babies actually make it that long— you did it! And while it might seem tough to wean now that you’re both so used to breastfeeding, the fact that you’re pros can make this a positive experience. GO SLOWLY If this happens too abruptly, it could cause engorgement for you and could be tough for your toddler to handle. Decrease the duration of each nursing session, or skip one entirely every few days or so. Provide your toddler with plenty of attention while weaning, says Jennifer Ritchie, IBCLC, author of I Make Milk, What’s Your Superpower? DISTRACT Many moms find that if they simply don’t suggest breastfeeding, they can successfully skip a feeding here and there. Don’t sit in the usual chair you would sit in to nurse, and keep her busy with a toy or story during that time. FOCUS ON DAYTIME FIRST You’ll probably find it easier to cut out the daytime feedings before the evening ones. At night, she’s probably come to expect cuddles and breast milk before bed. The nighttime feeding is usually the last to go.
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What’s the best way to deal with my toddler’s bossiness? Some toddlers are born trying to take charge of every situation; others are just passing through a bossy phase. Whichever category your toddler falls into, your goal is to avoid constant power struggles. Starting out with a pattern of arguments, even at the “terrible twos,” can cause a habit that’s hard to break as your child gets older. Start by setting limits without having a lot of emotional reaction, says Kate Roberts, PhD, licensed clinical psychologist in Salem, Massachusetts. Of course, your child’s health, safety and well-being come first, so in some areas—wearing a seat belt or holding hands while crossing the street—you have to be the one in charge. But with other, less important things, pick your battles. For example, if your toddler likes to dictate what she’ll wear each day, let her. Give her a few reasonable outfits to choose from. She may just want to feel she has a role to play in certain situations, and not that she’s always being dragged along. Give her a job: Tell her to count all the blue cars during the ride to day care, Roberts suggests. Letting her have some leeway and control, with a few firm limits, helps her learn what’s important. It will also make the family happier in the long run.
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to keep his personal things. Got any nut-free lunch ideas for my Help them learn to settle differences PB&J-loving kid? themselves, Parikh says. Resist stepping As peanut and tree nut allergies increase, into their battles unless their behavior more day cares and preschools are telling is getting out of hand. If and when you do parents to leave the peanut butter at step in, let each child explain why he’s home. Since your kid is a true sandwich angry or upset, encourage them to listen fanatic, sub in sunflower or soy butter to each other, and praise each or flavored cream cheese for one when they begin to talk peanut butter, suggests Jeanabout the problem. nie Gazzaniga-Moloo, PhD, Teach your twins why it’s RD, lecturer in Nutrition and What are some important to trade or take Foods/Dietetics at California good toys for a turns. Once they’ve figured State University, Sacramento. one-year-old? those behaviors out, they’ll And of course, you’ve got Get something have a big leg up when it’s your turkey or ham and that helps with time to head off to playgroups cheese sandwiches. balance and or preschool. But also think outside walking skills, bread: Give him yogurt and What’s the best age for my sliced fruit. Or make wholelike a push toy. child to start preschool? grain pasta sprinkled with Baby’s becoming Most preschools accept kids Parmesan cheese and keep social, so look for as young as age two and it warm in a thermos. He toys for playing go through age six. It’s an might also enjoy hummus with others, like individual decision, and with some pita or crackers. balls or blocks. there’s no single answer, says Board books, Cindy H. Liu, PhD, clinical and My toddler twins are driving musical toys, developmental psychologist, me crazy with their fighting! a dollhouse or Department of Psychiatry, What can I do to keep the figures are also Harvard Medical School. Most twin wars to a minimum? important is your child’s readiCreate separate play stations good bets. ness. Is she okay with saying in your home, so each twin goodbye, being away from you can have something he can be and being away from home? doing without getting in the If she’s really anxious about it, you may be other’s way, suggests Preeti Parikh, MD, better off waiting a year or so until she’s assistant clinical professor of pediatrics at more comfortable. In the meantime, enroll Mount Sinai School of Medicine in New her in “mommy and me” classes to get York City (and mom of twins!). One can her used to group settings. play with building blocks while the other Also, find out what the rules are. Some toots around the train track, for example. preschools have prerequisites, like being Establish personal space in the bedroom potty trained and getting through the day too—even if they share a room. Give each without a midday nap. twin his own storage area or colored box
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Get ready for the toddler stage at TheBump.com/toddler
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