“Sometimes the smallest things take up the most room in your heart.” —A.A. MILNE
NBARRETT PHOTOGRAPHY
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Philadelphia/South Jersey thebump.com
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the social
club
We dish out honest advice, along with our moms and moms-to-be, and share creative pics on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram.
We asked new moms to share the
must-haves they couldn’t live without, and here’s what they said: “A yearlong membership to a spa! Don’t be shy, ask for yourself.”
“DreamBelly Butter from Fairhaven Health! I swear by it—it’s so great.”
–PAULA R.
–JAMIE K.
“INSPIRING BABY SHOWERS” IS OUR MOST POPULAR BOARD Moms-to-be can’t stop pinning décor, dessert and game ideas for their upcoming fetes. Get inspired at Pinterest.com/thebump
“Nipple balm. You never think you’ll need it (I didn’t!), but seriously, it’s a lifesaver.” –GILLIAN O. FACEBOOK.COM/THEBUMP
We’re tweeting around the clock about all the latest fertility, pregnancy and parenting news and trends—so you never miss a beat.
we’re @thebump
Follow us @THEBUMP
Our cofounder, Carley, supporting #Moms4Moms.
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thebump.com
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We’re ready to go on camera with Kathie Lee and Hoda!
PINTEREST: GABRIEL RYAN PHOTOGRAPHERS
Go behind-the-scenes with our editors for a sneak peek at all the fun we’re having backstage—and at the office!
See what happens at our magazine photo shoots.
Join the conversation now at TheBump.com/community
9/3/14 10:02 AM
Sensory learning, neuromuscular activities, and spatial awareness, otherwise referred to as,
The Little Gym helps children reach their greatest potential. From 4 months through 12 years, classes promote development and build confidence during each stage of childhood. Call to schedule a free introductory class. www.thelittlegym.com Abington 215-886-3300 • Doylestown 215-343-9748 Exton 610-363-2350 • Hatfield 215-631-1600 Marlton 856-810-0010 • Narberth 610-664-6637 Newtown (Bucks County) 215-579-2786 Newtown Square (Delaware County) 610-356-1509 Washington Township 856-228-2818 Springhouse 215-793-4883 West Windsor 609-799-7776
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Offering expert, compassionate care for every stage of motherhood. When you’re expecting, expect the best. Penn Ob/Gyn Care locations throughout the Greater Philadelphia
region offer general and specialized obstetric services including: n
Antenatal testing
n
Childbirth and parent education
n
Family planning and pregnancy loss counseling
n
High-risk pregnancy care (maternal fetal medicine)
n
Level III Intensive Care Nursery
n
Nurse midwifery
n
Preconception and prenatal genetic counseling
n
Perinatal Depression and Anxiety Disorder Program
u PennMedicine.org/obgyn
Enhance Your Birth Experience at Penn! Penn Ob/Gyn Care knows pregnancy is an exciting time in a woman’s life. We offer specialized programs and services to help mothers and babies stay healthy including prenatal and postnatal childbirth education classes, midwifery services, low-intervention Birth Suites, specialized care for high-risk pregnancies and more. Call 800.789.PENN for details.
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Women’s Health Boutique Solutions for Women at Pennsylvania Hospital
is a women’s health boutique that provides a comfortable setting to purchase specialty health care items at reasonable prices. Products include: n
Breast pumps and accessories
n
Maternity/nursing bras
n
Abdominal supports
n
Infant feeding supplies/nursing pillows
n
Breast milk collection and storage systems
n
Baby care items
any product when you mention the bump
AN
see index
mommy deals
The caring professionals at Solutions are also Certified Bra Fitters, available to help every woman find a nursing bra that is perfect for her body type. u PennMedicine.org/solutions
Introducing… Well Mother and Baby Unit at Pennsylvania Hospital The nation’s first hospital is now: the city’s first childbirth facility to provide all private maternity suites. Pennsylvania Hospital’s Well Mother and Baby Unit offers advanced obstetric care for women of every age with the warmth and personal touch of a community hospital.
800.789.PENN | PennMedicine.org
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from
k
volume 10, edition 1
c ontents what’s hot
beyond
basics
delivery
nest
glow
celebrate
10 congrats a note from carley 12 meet our contributors pros who made this issue possible 14 bumpie buzz baby news in philadelphia and beyond 18 it’s in the bag must-haves for the hospital 20 the name game top pennsylvania names—now and then 24 how big is baby? weekly growth and development 142 mommy deals save big on baby stuff
22
get some sleep
moms dish out baby sleep advice
celebrate
28 daphne oz’s foodie, fun & fuss-free pregnancy her secrets for relishing pregnancy 34 map out your pregnancy find everything you need—locally 38 ultrasound photos decoded baby’s first photo op 40 the crazy rules for naming your baby we break it down by state 48 hot topic: natural beauty products what’s safe 50 what to quit list ditch these habits 52 q+a from meds to counting baby’s kicks
on the cover
glow
56 moms in motion do intense workouts and pregnancy mix? 62 olivia wilde’s inspiring looks the star’s maternity wardrobe 64 symptoms you should never ignore what’s normal and what’s not 68 hot topic: circumcision pros and cons 70 fashion checklist maternity wardrobe staples 72 q+a from belly buttons to midnight snacks
Photography by Melanie Acevedo. Fashion styling by Michelle McCool for Kate Ryan, Inc. Hairstyling by Jeanna Mirante. Makeup by Gabriella Voigt. Prop styling by Emily Rickard for Ennis Inc. On Daphne: sweater and jeans, ASOS; tank top, A Pea in the Pod for Destination Maternity; jewelry, Daphne’s own.
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thebump.com
“One of the best baby stores in the U.S.A.” – Baby Bargains Book 2014
The Discount Furniture Experts! Largest Selection All the Top Brands
Baby + Kids Rooms
Always the Lowest Price
866-TOT-STUF 489 Park Way, Broomall, PA 19008
BabySupermart.com TBMV10E1_PHILSect1(1-16) [P]{Phil}.indd 7
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90
lessons for a labor coach hand this advice to your partner
celebrate
nest
delivery
nest
glow
74 cool and collected a worldly nursery that inspires 80 what to register for the essentials for you and baby 84 hot topic: co-sleeping is it safe? 86 babyproofing guide prep your pad with this checklist 88 q+a from nursery design to college savings
basics
110 vaccine fears answers to your biggest questions 114 head of the class local classes to help you ace parenting 116 you’re on call what to do with your tiny patient 120 sleep tracker monitor baby’s zzz’s 122 q+a from baby poop to hiring a sitter
delivery
beyond
basics
96 my birth story a philadelphia-area mom shares 104 hot topic: labor induction does it have benefits? 106 birth plan use this checklist to prepare for labor 108 q+a from stages of labor to cutting the cord
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in the limelight citrus hued baby gear
8
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beyond
124 ready for bed bring on the big kid bed 126 5 toddler-friendly hot spots explore your hood with baby 128 what parents around the world think you’re doing wrong parenting lessons from across the globe 132 potty training dos and don’ts getting your toddler ready 138 toddler chore chart start small with this basic list 140 q+a from weaning to preschool
Infants have individual personalities. We help bring them to light.
Call today to arrange a tour
At Kiddie Academy®, we understand that infants are constantly learning. Every new sound, the sight of themselves in a mirror and the feel of a new texture is a step in their development. Our New Beginnings Infant Curriculum nurtures your baby from the moment she arrives until the time you pick her up.
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I N F A N T S • TO D D L E R S • P R E S C H O O L BEFORE & AFTER SCHOOL • SUMMER CAMP
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part of
k
congrats!
family
There’s so much to know and do now that you’re pregnant, and if it’s your first, this is unchartered (read: overwhelming) territory. This handy guide will help by giving you the most essential info, like where to take the best childbirth classes and how to actually get baby to sleep (not always easy!). Want more? TheBump.com has expert answers to every question you may have. Plus, a huge club of other new parents and parents-to-be to chat with and compare notes. We’re all in this together!
a blast from the past. pregnant with baby #3! Carley Roney cofounder
tweet us @thebump!
welcome, Dylan!
PS: Get our app for personalized pregnancy info every step of the way at TheBump.com/app.
COFOUNDER Carley Roney EDITOR IN CHIEF Rebecca Dolgin
DEPUTY EDITOR Elena Donovan Mauer MANAGING EDITOR Kellee Kratzer ART DIRECTOR Meghan Corrigan EDITORIAL TEAM Anisa Arsenault, Gabriella Baetti, Maria Bouselli, Ashley Castro, Lauren Daniels, Jackie DiBella,
Kristin Giametta, Joelle Montier, Alice Stevens CONTRIBUTING EDITOR Lauren Greene VICE PRESIDENT, PRINT AND PRODUCTION Frank Dolphens PRODUCTION TEAM Susan Berryman, Lois Brunnert Bethune, Jesse Hardy, Katie Hover,
it’s a boy!
PUBLISHED BY XO Group Inc. 195 Broadway, New York, NY 10007 Phone (212) 219-8555 Fax (212) 219-1929 Please note: The ideas, procedures and suggestions contained in this book are not intended as health care or other professional advice, diagnosis or a substitute for consulting with your health care professional. Every baby is different and circumstances vary, so you should consult your own physician and use your own common sense. The author and publisher offer no warranties or guarantees, expressed or implied, in the completeness or advisability of the information contained in this book for your particular situation, and disclaim any liability arising from its use. All product information was supplied by the designers and manufacturers. The Bump has made every effort to portray the products true to their original colors and styles, but we cannot guarantee 100-percent accuracy. Prices and availability may change based on factors including material, regions and season. Nothing contained in this guide should be construed as an endorsement by The Bump of any designer, manufacturer or product featured herein. The Bump Magazine © 2014 XO Group Inc. All rights reserved. Reproduction, in whole or in part, is forbidden without written permission from the publisher. TheBump.com and The Bump magazine are trademarks of XO Group Inc.
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RONEY: DAVID A. LAND
Megan Johnson, Kate Richter, Maria Julie Rodriguez, Kasey Schroeder, Carly Steier, Daryl Wills, Sheryl Ziegler PUBLISHER Stephanie Nicolet VICE PRESIDENT, LOCAL SALES John Pike SALES MANAGER Sandra Jackson SALES AND ADVERTISING TEAM Julie Addona (jaddona@thebump.com, 848-467-4796), Kate Buchanan, Danielle Goldman, Ashley Burden, Sharon Thomas SENIOR PUBLIC RELATIONS MANAGER Melissa Bach
thebump.com
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4:49 a.m. 7 pounds, 15 ounces. 21.5 inches long. 100% amazing.
Life. Healing. Caring. The day your baby is born is one you’ll always remember.
Our moms rely on an experienced health care team that’s prepared for everything, 24 hours a day—every day. With 100 health care providers delivering more than 6,500 babies a year, you can trust we provide a safe, welcoming experience for mom, baby and the entire family. Your comfort and your baby’s care are what’s most important to us. After all, it’s the most wonderful day of your life.
christianacare.org/baby • 800-693-2273 13WHS26
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meet our
contributors MELANIE ACEVEDO, PHOTOGRAPHER
what did you love most about your pregnancy?
Being pregnant with my daughter Violet was the best time of my life. I never felt more sexy! I got a pair of black leather pants and a bunch of tank tops and rocked that look for nine months. Pregnant women are beautiful. @melanieacevedophoto
CHRISTINE SCHMIDT, DESIGNER
how did you make those amazing diy projects for your daughter’s nursery (p. 74)? It was convenient! I was writing my book, Yellow Owl’s Little Prints, while I was pregnant, so the projects worked for both. My mom was an art teacher and she’s the inspiration for most of them. @yellowowlwkshop
ADRIAN KULP, WRITER
I can’t have a favorite—I have to be equal. The day my daughter Ava was born was one of the happiest days of my life. After Charlie was born, and they asked me to cut the umbilical cord, I cried. With Mason, I simply thought about how truly lucky I am. @dad_or_alive
our expert panel
Ashley S. Roman, MD, ob-gyn and clinical assistant professor in the Department of Obstetrics and Gynecology at NYU Langone Medical Center; Preeti Parikh, MD, pediatrician at Pediatrics of New York, assistant clinical professor in the Pediatrics Department at the Icahn School of Medicine at Mount Sinai and a fellow of the American Academy of Pediatrics; Amy Tara Koch, fashion expert and author of Bump It Up; Nicole Meadow, MPN, RD, nutritionist and founder of NutritionWise; Shoshana Bennett, PhD, clinical psychologist and author of Beyond the Blues; Jennifer Ritchie, IBCLC and author of I Make Milk, What’s Your Superpower?
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SCHMIDT: ANA HOMMONAY; KULP: JEN MAYER KULP
you’re a dad of three. what’s your favorite delivery room memory?
Get expert answers to every question at TheBump.com
9/3/14 10:03 AM
“When you look at how much your stomach is going to grow in pregnancy, you’re convinced that all that stretching has to leave its mark! But pretty much everyone I spoke to used Bio-Oil, so I began using it from about my second month, twice a day. I liked the fact that it absorbed well and left my skin looking phenomenal. Now that I know that there’s a great product for stretch marks out there I can’t keep quiet about it – I would absolutely recommend it!”
No. 1 pregnancy stretch mark product in 11 countries.
Nicolette with Amy
Bio-Oil® helps reduce the possibility of pregnancy stretch marks forming by increasing the skin’s elasticity. It should be applied twice daily from the start of the second trimester. For comprehensive product information, please visit bio-oilusa. com. Bio-Oil is available at pharmacies and selected retailers at the recommended selling price of $11.99 (2fl.oz.). Individual results will vary.
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buzz
What’s new for you in Philadelphia and beyond.
HELPING BABIES The Children’s Hospital of Philadelphia is making strides in preventing abnormal brain development. The hospital just launched the Fetal Neuroprotection and Neuroplasticity Program, which will explore therapies to prevent brain injuries to babies before they’re even born. CHOP’s other specialized programs include its fetal heart one. (CHOP.edu)
postbaby perks Want to be pampered while you’re recovering from childbirth? Pennsylvania Hospital opened a new Well Mother & Baby Unit to complement its birthing suites. The three floors of private postpartum rooms have a modern design, cozy furniture, spacious bathrooms and even guest accommodations. (PennMedicine.org)
hey Facebook, I’m pregnant! In a recent survey on TheBump .com, 63 percent of moms-to-be said they used social media to announce their pregnancies to friends and family first.
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what do you think?
genius idea or scary trend? the c-tuck
Women delivering via c-section are staying under the knife a little bit longer—to get a tummy tuck right after birth. Sounds like a great start to getting fit postbaby, but doctors warn of the risk of complications. “You’re more likely to get blood clots and to retain fluid,” says Karol A. Gutowski, MD, FACS. “There’s also a higher risk of infection when you’re operating on the uterus.” Our verdict? Scary.
b uckle up, baby Safety alert! As baby grows, he’ll eventually be too heavy for the LATCH system (your car’s anchors and tethers made to keep his car seat in place). According to new guidelines released by the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration, if baby and his car seat weigh more than 65 pounds combined, it’s no longer safe to use LATCH anchors. Instead, use your car’s seat belt and buckle to secure the seat.
thebump.com
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LULU*/CWC INTERNATIONAL
b umpie
Find up-to-the-minute news at Blog.TheBump.com
9/5/14 8:25 AM
HERE, EVERY DAY IS MOTHER’S DAY.
Chester County Hospital’s
ALL-PRIVATE
Mother and Baby Pavilion. It’s everything new families want and more. Private, spacious, home-like rooms bathed in natural light. Euro-style bathrooms. A nesting room for adopting parents. A well-baby nursery. A well-stocked nourishment station. And the level of care you’ve come to know and trust from Chester County Hospital, including a Level III Neonatal Intensive Care Unit—the highest level available in Chester County, operated as part of the CHOP Newborn Care program. We’ve just made the best place to deliver your baby better. Take a virtual tour now at ChesterCountyHospital.org.
701 E. Marshall St., West Chester • 610.431.5000 • ChesterCountyHospital.org Bump Ad.indd 1 TBMV10E1_PHILSect1(1-16) [P]{Phil}.indd 15
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in the
limelight
The citrus hue takes center stage with the latest baby gear.
pack it up
JJ Cole Collections’s System 180 bag is so chic dad will love using it. $70, BabiesRUs.com
have a seat
Svan’s sunny Bentwood chair goes from six months to five years. $180, Diapers.com
smooth ride
The stylish Dot stroller by phil&teds definitely turns heads. $450, BuybuyBaby.com
suds up!
Boon’s Naked bath collapses for easy storage. $70, BoonInc.com
safety first
Clek’s Foonf seat comes with extended rear-facing abilities up to age four. $450, Shop.ClekInc.com
cute cot
Babyhome’s Dream cot brightens up mom and dad’s room. $300, BabiesRUs.com
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Find more stylish gear now at TheBump.com/babygear
9/3/14 10:03 AM
Growing young minds around the world.
Play & Learn Starting at birth. Explore the senses and support visual and auditory development. Learn about cause and effect and build strength through play. Includes parent discussion time to help learn about your child’s development.
Music Starting at 6 months. You and your baby will discover melody, pitch and rhythm while building a repertoire of joyful songs.
Family Ideal for ages 6 months–5 years. Bring all your children to the same class and enjoy fun learning activities created for groups of siblings and friends.
At Gymboree Play & Music, you and your baby will build creativity, confidence and friendship that will last a lifetime. Montgomeryville (215) 412-5257 Collegeville (610) 409-8111 King of Prussia (610) 527-4748 Ardmore (610) 527-4748 Wilmington (302) 477-0553
See gymboreeclasses.com to register mommy deals
Join for $22 with code: BABY365 (before 6-month birthday) (SEE INDEX)
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9/4/14 1:21 PM
it’s in the
bag
Get packing! You’ll feel less crazed if you’ve got a bag packed with everything you and baby will need at the hospital. Prep these items by week 35. PHOTOGRAPH BY KT MERRY
for labor/delivery: Insurance info, hospital forms and birth plan 2–3 pairs of warm, nonskid socks (for walking the halls) Headband or ponytail holder
A warm robe or sweater 2 maternity bras—no underwire—and nursing pads (whether or not you plan to nurse, you’ll appreciate the support and leak protection) Lip balm (also to combat dry hospital air)
Toiletries and personal items—hairbrush, toothbrush, toothpaste, face wash, deodorant, makeup, conditioner, lotion, contact lens case and solution (remember, travel-size products are your friend) Eyeglasses Pen and paper $1 bills and change for the vending machines and nonperishable snacks (you’ll probably be hungry after labor, and the hospital cafeteria could be closed)
STYLING: ANNIE CAVALLO FOR ENNIS INC
Sugar-free hard candy to keep your mouth moist (hospitals are dry, and sugar will make you thirsty)
for your stay:
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Cell phone and charger— program in phone numbers of people to call or text before and after birth, if you haven’t already
don’t forget
Baby’s car seat! It won’t go in the bag obviously, but baby can’t go home without it.
Camera, if you’re using one, extra memory card, and battery or charger Flip-flops for the shower if you’re sharing a bathroom
Nightgown (your own might help you feel more like yourself than a hospital gown will)
for going home:
Comfortable going-home clothes in six-month maternity size and flat shoes (sorry, but you’ll still look pregnant)
Slippers Breast pump, if you think you’ll use one
A coming-home outfit for baby Warm baby blankets (for the ride home)
extras (take ’em or leave ’em—up to you!):
STYLING: ANNIE CAVALLO FOR ENNIS INC
Extra pillow (warning: it may get ruined)
Soap, shampoo and heavy flow sanitary pads (the hospital supplies these things, but bring your own if you’re picky about brand)
Stopwatch (your nurse or a monitor will take care of timing contractions)
tip
Your iPod or tablet (loaded with your favorite tunes, of course), ear buds and mini-speaker
moms say avoid these
Ear plugs and eye mask (if you have trouble sleeping in a noisy, busy place) A duffle bag packed with a change of clothes and basic hygiene products for your partner
Hair dryer
Any clothes or pajamas you really like (they could get stained)
Very light reading (think celeb mags, not War and Peace)
Massage oil and tools, like rolling pins or tennis balls, and lucky or inspirational objects (you may not even use them, but they’re good to have!)
Bath towel (the hospital will likely provide a small, thin one)
leave at home:
“Keep the baby book at home. You won’t have time to fill it out!” —JACQUELINE R. “We brought a bunch of outfits and diapers. But we used one outfit for taking baby home in and none of the diapers!” —MAYA R.
“We brought Monopoly. Um...don’t bring a board game!” —LILMSPRISS83
Prep for the hospital tour at TheBump.com/maternityward
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9/3/14 10:02 AM
the
name game
Wow, names sure have changed! Here’s the Social Security Administration’s list of the top 10 names for boys and girls in Pennsylvania—now and then.
top 10 boys’ names today
30 years ago
Mason Liam Jacob Michael Noah Logan Benjamin Joseph Ethan Jackson
Michael Matthew Christopher David Jason John Robert Joseph Daniel James
top 10 girls’ names
20
today
30 years ago
Emma Sophia Ava Olivia Isabella Abigail Emily Madison Mia Aubrey
Jennifer Jessica Amanda Ashley Nicole Melissa Sarah Heather Stephanie Lauren
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Get more name ideas at TheBump.com/babynames
9/3/14 10:02 AM
visa速 gift card with program enrollment see index
mommy deals
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9/3/14 10:02 AM
get some
sleep
No, you’re not doomed to be exhausted forever. Moms who’ve been there before share the baby sleep advice that ultimately saved their sanity. PHOTOGRAPH BY KT MERRY
“Babies are used to noise in the womb, so don’t put them to sleep while hushing everyone around you.” –SARA K. “Enjoy the middle-of-the-night feedings. They were our quiet cuddle moments, and they don’t last long.” –ROXANNE B. “Sleep when they sleep. Sounds trite, but that advice helped me survive when my son was a newborn.” –LAURA S.
plenty of play fosters good sleep
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“Don’t freak out at every noise they make when they sleep. Babies are loud sleepers.” –MICHELLE J. “Swaddle!” –BREANNE B. “Set a bedtime routine. My son has done so well recognizing his routine and sleeps for about 10 to 12 hours a night.”
–NICKI B.
keep close Nighttime feedings just got easier. The new Halo Bassinest is a bedside sleeper that swivels over the bed, so baby can rest right next to you in his own safe, separate sleeping area. $250, HaloBassinest .com for stores
STYLING: ANNIE CAVALLO FOR ENNIS INC; GROOMING: SUSAN DONOHUE FOR ENNIS INC
78%
Number of women who buy or register for a baby monitor. Hello peace of mind!
“Never brag about your baby sleeping through the night. Just when you think there’s a pattern, they get sick or are teething and it throws everything off. Just go with it.” –KAREN D.
Learn tactics for parenthood at TheBump.com/baby
9/3/14 10:02 AM
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9/3/14 10:02 AM
how
big is baby?
See how she matches up to common fruits and veggies (and what the heck she’s doing in there) week by week. BY PAULA KASHTAN
week 5
apple seed Baby is starting to form her major organs, including the heart, kidneys, liver and stomach.
week 3
poppy seed Sperm met egg and—voilà— conception! Now your zygote sets off on a six-day trek through your fallopian tube to your uterus.
week 6
blueberry With joints starting to appear, baby is forming arms and legs—and growing new brain cells each minute. Wow!
week 8
raspberry Continuing to straighten in the trunk, baby can move those little arms, legs, and (slightly webbed) fingers and toes.
24
week 9
olive The former embryo is now officially a fetus, and an ultrasound device may be able to pick up a view of her beating heart.
SHUTTERSTOCK
week 7
sweet pea As blood begins to circulate, baby is beginning to develop eyes, ears, a nose, cheeks and a chin.
thebump.com
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week 14
lemon Your fetus is busy with thumb sucking, toe wiggling, making urine and breathing amniotic fluid.
week 15
orange Finally, all four limbs have functional joints. Your fetus squirms and wiggles like crazy, though you probably still can’t feel it. >
i’ m not fat. i’ m pregnant! week 12 week 13
peach While the intestines make their way from the umbilical cord to the fetus’s tummy, baby is developing teeth and vocal cords.
SHUTTERSTOCK
week 10
prune Arm joints work, bones and cartilage are forming, and baby’s vital organs are starting to function.
plum As you get ready for the second trimester, almost all of baby’s systems are fully formed. From here, they grow and mature.
week 11
lime Now baby’s fingers and toes are no longer webbed, and her hair follicles, tooth buds and nail beds are forming.
Philadelphia/South Jersey thebump.com
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week 17
week 16
avocado Tiny bones are now forming in the ears and eyebrows, and lashes and hair are starting to fill in.
onion Baby’s skeleton is hardening, and those little fingers and toes are now defined with one-of-a-kind prints.
week 18
sweet potato Baby has become amazingly mobile. She yawns, hiccups, rolls, kicks, punches, sucks, twists and swallows.
week 19
26
week 20
banana Your baby is gulping down amniotic fluid for nutrition and to practice swallowing. Her taste buds work!
SHUTTERSTOCK
mango Vernix caseosa, a greasy white goo, now coats baby’s skin. Some of it could remain at birth.
thebump.com
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g.
honeydew Baby can recognize and react to simple songs and may even remember them after birth. She now pees about a pint each day.
week 37 to delivery
watermelon Your full-term (yay!) baby gains about half an ounce a day, and her brain continues to develop rapidly.
are we there yet?
weeks 29–32
squash Baby is going through major brain and nerve development, and her energy is surging. Her irises react to light, and all five senses work.
weeks 22–24 SHUTTERSTOCK
n
weeks 33–36
papaya Settling into sleep cycles, baby snoozes 12 to 14 hours a day. Skin is becoming more opaque, and it’s taking on a pink glow.
weeks 25–28 eggplant Baby is getting her immune system ready by soaking up lots of antibodies. Her eyes are forming too.
Get weekly baby updates at TheBump.com/updates
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it was a girl, Philomena Bijou!
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FASHION STYLING: MICHELLE MCCOOL FOR KATE RYAN, INC; PROP STYLING: EMILY RICKARD FOR ENNIS INC.; HAIR STYLING: JEANNA MIRANTE; MAKEUP STYLING: GABRIELLA VOIGT; ON DAPHNE: TOP AND VEST: HAUTE HIPPIE; PANTS: HATCH; SHOES: JIMMY CHOO; JEWELRY: DAPHNE’S OWN; CRIB: OEUF SPARROW CRIB COURTESY OF MINI JAKE IN BROOKLYN, NY
celebrate
thebump.com
9/3/14 10:02 AM
FASHION STYLING: MICHELLE MCCOOL FOR KATE RYAN, INC; PROP STYLING: EMILY RICKARD FOR ENNIS INC.; HAIR STYLING: JEANNA MIRANTE; MAKEUP STYLING: GABRIELLA VOIGT; ON DAPHNE: TOP AND VEST: HAUTE HIPPIE; PANTS: HATCH; SHOES: JIMMY CHOO; JEWELRY: DAPHNE’S OWN; CRIB: OEUF SPARROW CRIB COURTESY OF MINI JAKE IN BROOKLYN, NY
daphne
oz’s
foodie, fun & fuss-free
pregnancy The natural foods chef, author and cohost of The Chew shares her secrets for relishing pregnancy. BY ELENA DONOVAN MAUER PHOTOGRAPHY BY MELANIE ACEVEDO
Daphne Oz is one of those women you’d want to plan a play date with, if you could. She’s friendly and warm, quirky and real— personality traits that shine through on The Chew, the daytime lifestyle talk show she stars on with chefs Mario Batali, Michael Symon and Carla Hall and entertaining expert Clinton Kelly. Her success has skyrocketed in recent years. She joined the cast in 2011, and in 2013 wrote the cookbook and lifestyle guide, and The New York Times best seller, Relish. Now, a new challenge: parenthood! Daphne chatted with us about being pregnant with her first baby (also the first grandchild for dad Dr. Oz).
The Bump Other than your parents, Mehmet Oz, MD, of
The Dr. Oz Show, and author Lisa Oz, who are your role models?
Daphne Oz Role models evolve and change with every stage
in your life. Right now, it’s the moms who make time for their careers, if that’s what they want to pursue, and who make time for themselves. We tend to forget about taking care of ourselves when we’re taking care of everyone around us. >
Philadelphia/South Jersey thebump.com
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TB You and your cohosts seem like you might be friends in real life. True? DO We are! I get paid to eat some delicious things and hang out with great friends. If only we could tape our behind-the-scenes revelry. That would be a show you’d want to watch. It’s hysterical. TB So did you have to change what you ate once you were pregnant?
DO I love Mexican food and sadly have to stay pretty far away from it because I can’t take the heat. I miss the margaritas too!
TB Is there anything you’re nervous about? DO A huge learning curve. There are so many things I don’t know. >
daphne’s pregnancy tips
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WALK A LOT
DO DATE NIGHT
“I gave up superintense cardio— sorry, spinning! But I walked three miles a day. Walking keeps you toned without being stressful on your body. It helps me decompress.”
“Have time with your partner and time with your girlfriends. They’re the ones who will be there for you postbaby. Time with them will rejuvenate you when you need it.”
MAKE EATING HEALTHY EASY
TACKLE YOUR TO-DOS
“Whip up big batches of beans, quinoa, brown rice and lentils to store and pair with different flavors during the week. No need to spend a ton of time.”
“Get things off your plate before baby arrives, but if you can’t get it all done, don’t worry. Life won’t stop after baby is born—it’s just the beginning!”
SWEATER AND JEANS: ASOS, TANK TOP: PEA IN THE POD TANK FOR DESTINATION MATERNITY
TB What are you looking forward to most about motherhood? DO I can’t wait to read bedtime stories, do art projects, play dress up, have dance parties and bake delicious treats with our girl. All those magical things I loved so much about childhood.
thebump.com
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WHEREVER YOU ARE IN LIFE,
JEFFERSON DELIVERS Jefferson’s highly skilled gynecologists, obstetricians and nurses provide expert care for women at all stages of life. If you are expecting a baby or are planning a pregnancy, Jefferson is the choice for the highest quality care and expertise available. Comprehensive services include pre-pregnancy counseling, care for healthy and high-risk expectant mothers and fertility evaluation and treatment through our clinical partnership with Reproductive Medicine Associates, RMA at Jefferson. And when your baby is born, you can count on Jefferson for exceptional neonatal care. Our maternity facilities include a nursery for healthy babies and a 40-bed Level III Neonatal Intensive Care Unit staffed by our neonatologists and neonatal nurse practitioners from Nemours/Alfred I. DuPont Hospital for Children. Call or visit online for an appointment. Our beautiful new office is conveniently located at 833 Chestnut Street in Center City Philadelphia, close to parking and public transportation.
Jefferson Obstetrics and Gynecology
1-800-JEFF-NOW Jefferson.edu/Women
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TB You’re really big on date night. Why? DO My husband, John, and I both thought
it was important not to lose sight of our relationship, even as we made way for a new addition. Even if it’s a 15-minute meal together, relishing uninterrupted time keeps us connected.
TB What’s the biggest change you made since you became pregnant? DO I try not to stress out if everything on my to-do list doesn’t get done. You start to realize how important it is to take care of yourself, so you can take care of another little person who totally depends on you. That means cutting out the energy drains that have no room in your life anymore. I used to be a terrible procrastinator, but now I have great reason to prioritize and be more efficient with my time.
daphne says:
“Make smart choices even when you give into cravings.”
TB What did you do to nest for baby? DO I nested like a crazy person. I really
de-cluttered and did major guttings of my wardrobe, books and papers. For the nursery, I worked with a furniture store called Bellini on a French blue and coral scheme. It has a soft, plush texture and fun tribal and geometric accents. I tend to be classic in my taste, so this was a chance to experiment, get a little funky and be playful, but sophisticated.
TB What are your favorite and least
favorite things about pregnancy? DO I love the kicks! I’m sure we’ll be making up some dance moves together. My least favorite thing is waking up uncontrollably at 4:30 a.m.! It’s like my body is advance training me for all the sleepless nights that are ahead. you look up to? DO Seems like Jessica Simpson and Jennifer Garner have a lot of fun with their kids! I’d love to learn how to juggle it all from Victoria Beckham.
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STRIPED SHIRT: ASOS
TB Are there any moms in Hollywood
Get the scoop on Daphne’s baby at TheBump.com/daphneoz
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buy 1 newborn session, get 2 FREE baby sessions see index
mommy deals
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map out your
pregnancy
Whether it’s cravings or maternity clothes, look no further than your neighborhood to find everything you’ll need from trimester to trimester. BY MADELINE SCHMITZ
and the journey begins...
1st trimester
indulge those food cravings
There comes a time in every pregnant gal’s life when she wants (but it feels more like needs) something sweet. Make a beeline to Termini Brothers (Termini.com) for one of the most unreal cannolis you’ll ever eat. The family-owned bakery has been making indulgent Italian treats for almost 100 years, so they know what they’re doing. We’ll take two, please.
2nd trimester
prep for labor dress your growing bump Don’t sacrifice style just because your body is changing. My Fabulous Mama (MyFabulousMama.com), carries stylish and comfy maternity clothes you can wear everywhere from the office to your baby shower. (It’s got adorable gear too, so you can start to stock up for baby’s arrival.)
Looking ahead to D-day can be overwhelming, but you’ll feel so much better armed with know-how from a childbirth education seminar at Blossoming Bellies (BlossomingBelliesBirth .com). The class will go over everything you want to know, including breathing and relaxation techniques.
3rd trimester
get some prenatal pampering Back pain? Swollen feet? Achy joints? Give your body some much-needed TLC with a maternity massage at Body Restoration (BodyRest.com). An expert therapist will ease your pain, soothe your muscles and make you forget your worries (we know you’re a little stressed). And if you miss lying on your stomach, good news: The spa offers a specially designed pillow to allow you to do it safely. That’s reason enough to book.
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hello, baby!
Find more local help at TheBump.com/philadelphia
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mommy deals
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product spotlight Great products for pregnancy and beyond.
a baby wrap without all the wrapping
A blend of sling and wrap, the Baby K’tan Baby Carrier is a soft carrier with an innovative double-loop design. Parents can wear baby in multiple positions at home or on the go without any wrapping or buckling. It is lightweight and compact, yet designed to distribute baby’s weight. Retail value: $49.95. BabyKtan.com
tough on leaks, soft on baby
Hugs feel amazing. So we created a diaper that feels amazing. Huggies Little Snugglers Diapers give your newborn a cushiony layer of protection with our new GentleAbsorb Liner. Huggies.com
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Advertisement
parenting just became a bit easier
Coway’s Air + Sound Purifier eliminates dust and allergens, while providing six soothing sounds from Brahms’ Lullaby to the pulse of a human heart, insuring that you and your baby sleep peacefully through the night. For more information go to Coway-USA.com. (800) 590-0996
newborn must-have
Newborns are obligate nasal breathers their first 4-6 months. Crane humidifiers provide moisture to relieve tiny stuffy noses, helping your baby breathe easier during feeding and sleeping. From whimsical to sleek, visit Crane-USA.com. (888) 599-0992
Philadelphia/South Jersey thebump.com
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ultrasound photos
decoded
It’s time for baby’s first photo op! Here’s what you’ll be looking at when you peer into that little screen for the first time. BY LAUREN A. GREENE
Depending on your doctor, expect to have your first ultrasound sometime between 6 and 12 weeks, says Santa Monica–based ob-gyn Sheryl Ross, MD. Baby grows quickly and will look very different in just a few short weeks, so don’t
panic if you don’t see as much detail at an earlier ultrasound (the below image is about 12 weeks). The first ultrasound dates and confirms the pregnancy, as well as detects any potential problems. Here are some key things to know before you go.
oh, boy !
fluid is black; bone is bright white
der Or girl. Gen ted ec et d e may b k ee -w at the 16 d. n u so ra lt u
1 2 5 3 4
HEAD
To determine gestational age, your doctor will measure the “crown to rump length” (top of head to bottom of tush). At 12 weeks, the average size is 5–6 centimeters.
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2
NASAL BONES
Underdeveloped or absent nasal bones have been linked to a high rate of Down syndrome. Your doctor examines the nasal bones to begin ruling out any potential problems.
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3 NUCHAL FOLD The thickness of the nuchal (or neck) fold is another marker for chromosomal abnormalities. The results, along with a blood test, can be used to detect issues as early as 11 weeks.
4
5
See that tiny dark gray circle right under the chin in the chest cavity? That bubble is the stomach starting to form, and your doctor will look to make sure it’s on track.
Depending how she’s positioned, you may not see all of baby’s arms and legs in the profile view (above), but your doctor takes a variety of angles to check on all of them.
STOMACH BUBBLE
EXTREMITIES
SHUTTERSTOCK
1
Get info on other prenatal tests at TheBump.com/tests
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the crazy rules for
naming your baby Thought as parents you could give baby any name under the sun? Well, it depends. BY CYNTHIA RAMNARACE
Believe it or not, there are rules in place that limit what names can be given to baby. Here in Pennsylvania, though, there are absolutely no restrictions. Want to know the rules in other states?
alabama
In Alabama, you can name baby anything you want—last name included. (Some states require baby’s last name be the same as the mother or father, but not Alabama.) Only the English alphabet is allowed. While apostrophes and hyphens are okay, numbers and symbols aren’t.
alaska
Chloë and Beyoncé aren’t a problem in Alaska! The state’s computer system handles umlauts (ö), tildes (ñ) and many other (but not all) foreign characters.
arizona
In Arizona, there’s a 141 character limit— 45 for the first name, 45 for middle, 45 for last and 6 for a suffix. Apostrophes, hyphens, periods and spaces are okay.
allowed. Pictographs, such as smiley faces, or ideograms, such as a “thumbs-up” sign, are specifically banned.
colorado
Colorado has no limit on the length of a name, but you need to be able to spell it using a standard keyboard, so no graphic symbols or foreign characters.
connecticut
You may choose any name in Connecticut, so long as it’s “not for fraudulent or nefarious purposes and does not infringe on the rights of another person,” and it uses English characters.
florida
If parents can’t agree on a first name, none can be listed on the birth certificate until both parents sign an agreement or a court selects a name.
georgia
Symbols are off-limits in Georgia, and yes, that includes accent marks. >
arkansas
california
Derogatory or obscene names are banned in California. Only the 26 characters of the English alphabet are
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THINKSTOCK
You can have apostrophes, hyphens and spaces in a name, but they can’t be consecutive. Also, Baby, Babyboy, Babygirl, Baby Boy, Baby Girl, Infant, Test, Unk and Void are invalid entries in the data entry system.
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Protect him for life. From the first day of life, your child depends on you to feed and clothe, nurture, and protect him. And you, in turn, depend on the best advice you can find. The Children’s Hospital of Philadelphia is here for you, whether you are seeing providers at one of the more than 50 CHOP Care Network locations or visiting our website (www.chop.edu). And now you can carry us with you on your phone, too! Our Vaccine Education Center (VEC) has created a free mobile app for your smartphone or tablet called Vaccines on the Go: What You Should Know. The app provides information about vaccines at every age. It’s easy-to-access facts from a source you can trust.
Go to
vaccine.chop.edu/mobileapp for more information or to download.
Some of the app’s features include: n
Information about vaccine safety, schedules and side effects
n
An easy way to store questions for future appointments or email the VEC team directly
n
Novel graphics and disease timelines
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hawaii
minnesota
idaho
mississippi
There are no limitations in the Aloha state. Even symbols are allowed, but the state’s computer software does require each symbol used be accompanied by at least one letter. In Idaho, only letters are allowed. Special characters such as asterisks are banned.
illinois
There are no restrictions on what a parent may name a child. Recent updates to the state’s computer networks even allow for quirky names such as “1Der” or “2-Riffic.” So far, no parent has taken advantage of this with their baby’s first name, but there’s a child whose middle name is “7.”
indiana
Numbers and all special characters are banned in Minnesota. Apostrophes and hyphens are the only punctuation allowed. Each name—first, middle and last—is limited to 50 letters, for a max of 150. If mom is married at the time of birth, the baby’s surname is automatically that of her husband. If the parents would like a different surname, the request must be verified and witnessed by a hospital rep.
montana
Montana’s data system doesn’t allow for special symbols. If a parent wants to use a symbol, once they receive the birth certificate, they can write it in and send it back to the vital records office for approval.
No rules regarding first names in Indiana! But if mom is unmarried at birth, baby can only be given her mother’s surname, unless there’s an affidavit proving paternity.
nebraska
kansas
First, middle and last names must be within 100 characters total.
Kansas explicitly requires that babies be given a last name and bans the use of symbols. Accent marks are okay though.
louisiana
You can’t name your child an obscenity in Louisiana, or use diacritical marks (so, André isn’t allowed). As for the last name, if mom wasn’t married within 300 days of the birth, baby’s surname must match his mother’s name. If mom is married, baby’s surname must be the same as her husband, unless the parents agree to change it.
No names that imply objectionable or obscene words or abbreviations.
new hampshire
new jersey
New Jersey bans parents from naming their child an obscenity. Numbers and symbols are also prohibited. >
anything goes!
massachusetts
states with no baby name rules or laws
michigan
Delaware Iowa Kentucky Maine Maryland
Only letters found on the standard English keyboard may be used in baby names in Massachusetts. So sorry, no æ, ë or ñ. Michigan only allows English letters.
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Missouri Nevada Pennsylvania Virginia
thebump.com
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hd upgrade
($50 value)
see index
mommy deals
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new mexico
Diacritical marks, special characters and names Baby Boy, Baby Girl, Male and Female are banned.
new york
First and middle names can’t be more than 30 characters each. Last can’t be more than 40. Numbers and symbols are both no-nos. Accent marks, hyphens and tildes (ñ) may be used in North Carolina.
north dakota
tennessee
There are a few complex last name rules.
texas
Name your child anything, but the data system doesn’t allow special characters. And the last name must match a parent’s.
Special characters, numbers and diacritical marks may not be used. So you may name baby John Smith III, but not John Smith the 3rd—and no way, José!
ohio
utah
oklahoma
vermont
The only punctuation allowed in Ohio is hyphens, apostrophes and spaces. Only letters are allowed, no numbers. Oklahoma has no name laws, but its system limits names to the English alphabet.
oregon
Oregon’s computer system can handle 40 special characters, including â, é, î, õ and ü.
rhode island
Utah says that using marks not found on a keyboard “would make applying for and receiving a birth certificate more laborious.” VT says, “You may use trademarked names (IBM), diseases (Anthrax) and obscenities, but we highly recommend against it.”
washington
The only guideline is on length—30 characters for first names; 50 for middle and last.
Diacritical marks can’t be used on a birth certificate. But the state allows parents to use Aña or Zoë on other documents.
west virginia
south carolina
wisconsin
south dakota
wyoming
Want to name your baby K8? In South Carolina you can. Numbers and symbols (think: M!ke) are both allowed. Spaces, hyphens and apostrophes are the only acceptable punctuation.
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Only letters from the English alphabet are acceptable. This rules out umlauts and tildes. When one Wisconsin mom wanted to name her child a numeral, the state required that the number be spelled out. The official record cannot reflect foreign characters (sorry Esmé and Björn).
THINKSTOCK
north carolina
Look up name meanings at TheBump.com/babynames
9/3/14 10:01 AM
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how much sleep does baby need? age
daytime sleep
nighttime sleep
total
10 hours (various naps)
10 hours
20 hours
1 TO 3 MONTHS
7 hours (three naps)
8½ hours
15½ hours
3 TO 6 MONTHS
5 hours (three naps)
10 hours
15 hours
6 TO 9 MONTHS
3½ hours (two naps)
11 hours
14½ hours
3 hours (two naps)
11 hours
14 hours
0 TO 1 MONTH
9 TO 12 MONTHS
ILLUSTRATIONS: KATE LARSEN
All babies are different, of course, but here are some general guidelines.
See other babies’ schedules at TheBump.com/sleeproutine
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avoid chemicals “I strongly suggest pregnant women modify their beauty routine and minimize their exposure to toxins. Chemicals in your bloodstream can possibly affect fetal development. Phthalates are linked to cancer, for example. Steer clear of lead, arsenic, oxybenzone (in sunscreen), parabens, retinyl palmitate (or retinol), formaldehyde, dibutyl phthalate (DBP), toluene and ammonia. If you see the word ‘fragrance’ on a product label, it could trigger allergic reactions, and some are toxic phthalates and endocrine-disrupting chemicals. It’s not about scaring parents but about education—if you could avoid a negative reaction, wouldn’t you?” LATHAM THOMAS, DOULA AND AUTHOR
natural beauty products?
natural doesn’t mean safe “Yes, avoiding chemicals that could be dangerous to your unborn baby is advised. But some products may not have been tested properly for potential risks to your pregnancy and baby. Commonly used herbs for beauty that are safe in pregnancy include aloe vera, turmeric and lavender. But other herbs may not be safe, such as black cohosh, carcinia cambogia and senna. There are prescription medications (including erythromycin and clindamycin) that aren’t as natural but work well to treat acne and are safe for you and baby. Bring your beauty products to your doctor to ensure you’re not putting yourself or baby at risk; 98 percent of what my patients bring to me is completely fine.” SHERYL ROSS, MD, FACOG
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Check products for safety at TheBump.com/isitsafe
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smoking
raw fish and meat
Premature birth, low birth weight and even stillbirth all have been associated with a mom’s use of cigarettes. Secondhand smoke is risky as well. So ask your partner to kick the butts too.
Sushi, raw or undercooked eggs, and raw meat heighten your risk for food poisoning. All your fi sh, meat and poultry should be fully cooked.
what to
Caffeine has been linked to an increased risk for premature birth and miscarriage. Limit your daily intake to 200 milligrams or less (one or two 8-ounce cups of coffee).
quit list
cleaning the litter box
Fluff y’s poop could contain a pesky parasite called toxoplasma. What’s scary is that it can cross the placenta and infect baby. If you must change your kitty’s box, wear rubber gloves and a mask.
some medications
Bring a list of your prescriptions to your doctor, so she can tell you whether or not they’re safe to take during pregnancy. While many are considered unsafe (or untested), there are some situations in which a doctor believes the risk to an unborn baby is minimal compared with the benefi ts to mom’s health. Example: antidepressants.
CLOCKWISE FROM TOP LEFT: GETTY IMAGES; SHUTTERSTOCK (3)
caffeine
cold cuts
Say good-bye to turkey and Swiss on rye. Deli meats may contain bacteria called listeria, which can cause an illness that can lead to preterm labor and miscarriage.
drinking
unpasteurized foods
Skip the cheese, raw milk or farmers market juice if the label doesn’t say it has been pasteurized. (Yes, even if you’re a foodie.) It could contain harmful bacteria.
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Hold off on celebratory champagne until baby is here. Alcohol can cause fetal alcohol syndrome (FAS), which can lead to disabilities, including mental retardation.
Get through the first trimester at TheBump.com/firsttri
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celebrate Taking OTC meds, playing music in utero, counting baby’s kicks and more…
Can I take ibuprofen while pregnant? No, stay away from ibuprofen, commonly known by the brand names Motrin and Advil, right now. It can lead to serious problems for baby if you take it after 30 weeks or so. “Ibuprofen can cause an important passageway in baby’s heart to close when taken in late pregnancy. That passage needs to stay open while baby is still inside the uterus and is meant to close up soon after birth,” says Kelly Kasper, MD, ob-gyn and associate clinical professor at the Indiana University School of Medicine. “If it does close before birth, it can cause problems, including heart or lung damage and death.” Already took ibuprofen? Don’t freak out. “A one-time dose isn’t going to hurt baby, even if you took it past the 30week mark,” Kasper says. “The serious and scary side effects tend to occur with repeated, chronic use of the medication. If you happened to take a dose of Advil because you had a headache last week and you’re at 33 weeks, baby will be fine.” What about acetaminophen? Yes, go ahead and take acetaminophen (Tylenol). “We consider acetaminophen very safe to take in pregnancy,” says Kasper. Always follow dosing instructions closely, though. Too much acetaminophen
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is hard on your liver—and baby’s too. Also important: Don’t combine it with other medications without checking with your doctor first, since some of them (such as cold meds) contain acetaminophen too. Can playing music to baby in utero make him smarter? “There are no studies that say playing music to babies in utero makes them smart,” says Kasper. Of course, that doesn’t mean that listening to Beethoven, Bach or even Beyoncé prebirth doesn’t make baby smarter. There’s just no way to tell for sure. “You can’t study babies in utero,” Kasper notes. “You can’t see how their neurons respond to music. It’s impossible.” What’s certain is that babies can hear music (and other sounds) when they’re in the womb, and some scientific studies have reported what moms have known for years: Babies often move in response to music. “Some people might surmise from that, ‘Oh, baby likes it.’ Other people might surmise, ‘Oh, baby hates it,’ ” Kasper says. Hey, if you enjoy listening to music, go for it! Pick whatever tunes you like and crank them as loudly as you want. If it’s at all beneficial to baby, it’s probably because it helps mom-to-be relax. “A decrease in mom’s stress can have positive effects for baby,” Kasper says.
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If baby is moving less than usual, or if Should I line up a baby nurse for after you haven’t felt movement in a while, start baby arrives? What do they do? counting kicks. “Drink something cold and Baby nurses are pros at easing you— lie in a quiet room. Then see how long it and your brand-new baby—into your new takes to feel 10 movements,” says Goldman. life together. One can help establish a “If an hour—or at most, two hours—has bedtime routine, organize the nursery, and gone by and you haven’t felt at least 10 make sure you’re nourished and comfy movements, call the doctor.” after you’re home from the Not feeling 10 movements hospital. She can show you in an hour doesn’t necessarily how to deal with issues mean something is wrong. But like colic, gas and excessive Why do I have a lack of movement can indicrying, all of which can be a metallic taste cate a problem that could lead stressful, and pitch in with in my mouth? to stillbirth, so your doctor chores like packing the That funny will likely want to run tests to diaper bag and laundering metallic taste is check baby’s health—listening onesies. In deciding whether probably related to her heartbeat and possibly or not to hire one, consider to the high level doing an ultrasound or your situation. Do you have non-stress test. family or close friends nearby of estrogen in who are willing and able to your body, says Is it wrong to feel disappoinhelp you? Also think about Goldman. It ted about baby’s gender? your personality and whether usually fades as No, you might not hear about you and your partner will be pregnancy goes gender disappointment able to be up all night and on, the same way often because parents-to-be still function the next day. It’s morning sickness don’t always talk about it. definitely not easy. does. Eat acidic “There’s shame because foods, like citrus we’re supposed to feel grateHow often should my baby fruit or pickles, ful,” says Shoshana Bennett, be moving? PhD, a clinical psychologist. All babies are different. Some to cut the taste. Forgive yourself for feeling let are more active than others down—it’s a valid emotion. at different times, says Debra But remember that it’s based Goldman, MD, ob-gyn at on a fantasy of what your family should Women & Infants Hospital of Rhode be. “Talk about it with a trusted friend, so Island. Factors such as the location of you can let go of it quickly,” Bennett says. the placenta and baby’s positioning can “The truth is, you don’t know what this affect how much movement you feel. child’s temperament will be. They’ll have Some babies kick like crazy after dinner; their own passions. Look forward to discovothers go nuts at bedtime. With time, ering them along with him or her.” Good you’ll get to know your baby’s usual news: Gender disappointment tends to patterns of movement. Pay attention to disappear after birth. his habits and note any changes.
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moms in motion Social media has shined a spotlight on moms-to-be doing intense workouts like CrossFit, surfing and SoulCycle. Should these women be considered a cautionary tale—or an inspiration? BY AMANDA PRESSNER KREUSER
GETTY IMAGES
only for advanced yogis
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ea-Ann Ellison, 35, never expected to find herself at the center of a social media firestorm. But when the Los Angeles–based mom of three logged on to her Facebook page one morning, she was stunned to find more than 5,000 comments on an image she had posted of herself lifting a barbell during her daily CrossFit workout. So why the backlash? Ellison was 32 weeks pregnant at the time—and the weight above her head looked almost as big as she was. “People wrote some very ignorant remarks, telling me that my choices were selfish and I was risking hurting my baby,” says Ellison. “They said I’d be to blame if anything happened to him.” But Ellison isn’t alone in catching heat for her fitness decisions. A few years earlier, mom-to-be Amber Miller ran the Chicago Marathon at 39 weeks pregnant—and gave birth to her daughter just hours later. Internet naysayers questioned Miller’s judgment and why she did something that seemed so extreme and self-involved at a time when she should have been focusing on her child. More recently, Kristina Olivares, an Australian surfer, raised eyebrows for riding waves through all nine months of her pregnancy.
GETTY IMAGES
“People were telling me that my choices were selfish.” While all three women delivered very healthy babies, the controversy continues over whether or not moms-to-be should keep doing high-intensity workouts right up until childbirth. Can certain rigorous exercise subject expectant women and their babies to unnecessary risks—or is it somehow actually good for us?
cool it!
It takes momsto-be longer to cool down—give yourself at least 15 minutes.
experts weigh in
It seems that the expert consensus may fly in the face of what well-meaning moms, aunts and even friends have been telling you since you shared the happy news of your pregnancy. “As long as she consults with her doctor and gets clearance, there’s no reason that a healthy woman—one who is not deemed high risk—can’t continue the same type of workout she was doing prior to getting pregnant,” says Raul Artal, MD, editor for The American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists’ (ACOG) Clinical Updates in Women’s Health Care. Of course, not every type of activity is deemed safe. According to ACOG’s latest guidelines, you shouldn’t participate in contact sports like kickboxing and karate, or those activities in which you could inadvertently get hit with a ball, such as soccer or softball. You’ll also want to avoid the potentially hard falls you could take when skiing, snowboarding or horseback riding, and you should definitely skip scuba diving (it puts baby at risk for decompression sickness or even death). Artal confirms that even the popular training regimens that may seem extreme to some, like long-distance running, cross-training and indoor cycling, are safe for pregnant women to continue—but only if they’ve already been doing them regularly pre-pregnancy and they’re under the supervision of their physician. >
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A far greater issue is that many expectant mothers stop being active altogether, which can lead to excessive weight gain and gestational diabetes, both of which can negatively impact the well-being of the fetus, Artal says. “In fact, we strongly recommend that moms-to-be aim to get at least 30 minutes of physical activity five times per week.”
a myth that won’t quit
Doctors now agree that perceived exertion, a self-reported measurement of how hard you feel you’re working out, should be the benchmark used for when to slow down or stop. If you chart your exertion on a scale of 1 to 10 (where 1 means you’re barely moving and 10 is a red alert and you’re almost completely out of breath), you want to stay within the 6 to 7 range. Working out in that zone (rather than a 3 or a 4) can actually have positive effects on your pregnancy, according to research. To stay in a safe range, Pivarnik recommends making sure you can still hold a conversation during most of your workout (if not, slow down) and to stop immediately if you begin to feel weak, dizzy or in pain. It’s also essential to keep yourself well hydrated and avoid becoming overheated. That means while a prenatal yoga class is a good idea, a Bikram (hot) yoga class definitely isn’t. And when doing traditional yoga, you may have to modify your moves so you stay comfortable. If you’re exercising in a class setting, make sure the room you’re in has good airflow and you’re positioned near a door so you can make an easy exit if necessary. >
GETTY IMAGES
Somewhere along the way, you may have heard that exercise during pregnancy is only safe if you avoid letting your heart rate go above 140 beats per minute. So then how can super-active workouts like spinning, Zumba or circuit training actually be good for you? Well, it turns out that number is old news. “The 140-beats-per-minute recommendation is outdated—and it’s long since been tossed out by the medical community,” says James Pivarnik, PhD, FACSM, professor of kinesiology and epidemiology at Michigan State University. And Artal, who was among the doctors who came up with the 140-beats-per-minute guideline a few decades ago, confirms that sentiment. “Newer research has since shown that our original theory was invalid,” he says.
new exercise guidelines
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adjusting your routine
Even the most well-conditioned fitness buffs among us may need to make adjustments to our exercise routines to accommodate the changing demands on our bodies during pregnancy. These changes may include lifting lighter weights, pedaling more slowly during a spin class or running fewer miles at a reduced pace. “You don’t have to stop doing your favorite workout,” says Pivarnik, “but you need to be particularly vigilant about listening to your body and not pushing yourself to do more than what feels comfortable.” Pivarnik explains that pregnant women can be at slightly higher risk for injury because their bodies are producing higher levels of relaxin, a hormone that loosens up your ligaments and joints. While relaxin makes your body better prepared for labor, its increase also means you’re more susceptible to rolling your ankles or over-stretching your joints. “If you’re not sure how to best modify your movements,” don’t be afraid to ask your instructor to help you, says Jolie Walsh, a New York City–based SoulCycle instructor, who continued to teach and ride throughout both of her pregnancies.
focusing on the positive
Even if you’re making all the right moves to keep you and baby safe as your belly grows, you may still encounter comments from others about your exercise regimen. “There were a few people at my gym who didn’t agree with my exercise program,” says Tass Vorous, 36, who did classes like Zumba and Tabata throughout her pregnancy. “To deal with any negativity, I just focused on the support from the other expecting moms—we were almost like a tribe going through this together!” The bottom line: Doctors agree it’s critical to remain active during your pregnancy—so long as you’ve come up with a plan with your ob-gyn and follow all her instructions for keeping you and baby safe. Sticking with the workout you love may be the best way to prepare your body (and baby’s!) for the marathon of labor and delivery ahead. “After I got pregnant, my whole mind-set about working out changed,” recalls Ellison. “It wasn’t a competition anymore. It wasn’t about looking good anymore. Exercise was about staying strong and healthy so that I could be in great shape for one of the most important events of my life: helping my new baby come into the world.”
get in gear While you’re modifying your workout, update what’s in your gym bag. JUNO SPORTS BRA
The super-comfy straps on this full-motion, ultrasupportive sports bra completely detach, so you can use it later for nursing. From $33, Moving Comfort.com
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BOPPLE BOTTLE SPORT
ASICS GEL-KAYANO 20 LITE-SHOW
FIT BIT FLEX ACTIVITY TRACKER
This BPA-free water bottle has a replaceable carbon filter (which traps chlorine), so you can refill it on the go. $11, WaterBobble.com
These ultrastabilizing sneakers will help stop your ankles from rolling and cushion your feet. $170, Asics America.com
Keep yourself motivated to move with this wristband that tracks your steps, distance and calories burned. $100, FitBit.com
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wide stripes + neutrals= chic mama
olivia wilde’ s inspiring looks After stalking the star’s maternity wardrobe, this is what we’ve learned.
wear a belt above your bump to accentuate it
CLOCKWISE FROM TOP LEFT: GETTY IMAGES; PR PHOTOS (3)
basic black isn’t just safe—it’s timelessly glam don’t be afraid of a slinky dress
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symptoms you should
never ignore
News flash: There are a lot of changes going on right now. And some pretty weird things might happen—some are normal; others you should call your doctor about. BY ELENA DONOVAN MAUER PHOTOGRAPHY BY KT MERRY
If you spot or bleed (down there), you’ll probably freak out a little bit—but there are times when a tinge of blood is no big deal, say if you had sex recently, in which case you might have just irritated your cervix a bit (it’s more sensitive while you’re pregnant). Of course, bleeding can be a sign of something very serious—like a miscarriage or a problem with the placenta such as a placental abruption or placenta previa—so any time you do bleed, notify your ob-gyn or midwife just in case.
pain in the belly
Some aches and pains are to be expected (obviously!). After all, baby’s getting bigger by the day, and your muscles >
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and ligaments are stretching—that can cause discomfort called round ligament pain, which isn’t worrisome. But if pain is severe, constant or if there’s bleeding or other symptoms, call. It could be a miscarriage, ectopic pregnancy or a cyst.
looking puffy
Granted, gaining four pounds a month is going to leave you looking fuller, but pay particular attention to your face and hands or severe and sudden swelling in your ankles and feet. This could be a sign of preeclampsia, also known as pregnancyinduced hypertension. It happens in about 5 to 10 percent of pregnancies. It’s serious, since it can affect the placenta, as well as your kidneys, liver and brain. Call your doctor so he can give you an exam and test your blood and urine.
a shocker at the scale
You’re supposed to gain around 25 to 35 pounds if you have an average starting weight, but if you put on more than two pounds in a week, that could be another sign of preeclampsia.
itching and itching and itching
Your skin could be itchy simply because it’s dry and stretched, or you could get a nasty rash called PUPPP, which is irritating but not harmful. But, if you have allover or severe itching, talk to your OB. She may have to do a special test to rule out cholestasis of pregnancy—a liver disorder that can cause preterm labor and stillbirth.
spiking temperature
If you get a fever that lasts longer than 24 to 36 hours, see the doctor, so you can be diagnosed and treated quickly. There are a whole host of viruses that could be causing it, including a simple cold or flu, which aren’t usually a big deal, or something more serious, like cytomegalovirus or toxoplasmosis, which pose risks to baby if they’re left untreated.
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hey, what happened to the kicks?
If baby’s movements are pretty regular, that’s reassurance that everything’s A-OK, but if you notice a change in his kicking patterns, it’s worth the trip to the doctor’s office to check on his well-being.
“If you notice a change in baby’s kicking pattern, it’s always worth a trip to the doctor to check on him.” more than just a backache
Got pain in your back that just doesn’t quit? Your doctor should check to make sure any lingering backache is just normal pregnancy pain and not a sign of a kidney or bladder infection, cyst, miscarriage or preterm labor, since it might be pretty difficult to tell the difference yourself.
seeing blurry
If you stood up too fast, you could just be experiencing some normal pregnancy dizziness. But blurry vision that’s persistent or comes along with other symptoms, such as swelling, abdominal pain, headache or rapid weight gain, could be a sign of preeclampsia or gestational diabetes, both of which require medical treatment.
a gush of fluid—it’s go time!
This isn’t your average pregnancy discharge. Feeling constantly wet down there or having a trickle (or gush!) of fluid can mean that your water has broken. If that’s the case and you’re not in labor yet, you’re likely to be within 24 hours. Either way, it’s important that your doctor knows ASAP!
Check your symptoms at TheBump.com/symptoms
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foreskin should stay “Circumcision is unnecessary, risky, traumatic and harmful. Also, all of the health reasons for getting one have been debunked. As far as urinary tract infection prevention, we live in an age of antibiotics. Circumcision is painful, and the emotional trauma is stored deep in the brain. Severe bleeding can occur, and every year babies actually die from the procedure. The foreskin has an incredible number of pleasurable sensations that anyone who’s lost it will never get to experience. Plus, there are chronic complications that might appear later, like erectile dysfunction for one. Many people feel that it violates human rights.” MARK D. REISS, MD
circumcision?
it’s helpful to snip “Circumcision is a very valuable preventive measure with medical benefits. A male who’s uncircumcised has 10 times the risk of contracting a severe urinary tract infection during the first year of his life. These are potentially fatal kidney infections accompanied by high fevers and bloodstream infections. Sure, you can give antibiotics, but usually, evidence of scarring remains. Two to three percent of uncircumcised boys will have an infection in the first three or four years. They are also three times more likely to get HPV, which causes penile and cervical cancer. In fact, nearly 100 percent of penile cancer cases are in uncircumcised men.” EDGAR SCHOEN, MD
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fashion checklist
A mix of wardrobe staples and maternity pieces will get you through all nine months.
you have JEANS You should still fit into your roomiest pair for the first couple of months.
MATERNITY JEANS A dark wash (with a stretch panel) will work for day or night.
BLAZER Button up to hide your growing bump, or wear it open to let your belly breathe.
WRAP DRESS Adjust the dress to fit a fluctuating waistline pre- and postbaby.
TANK TOP You can rely on that stretchy shirt in your closet until the day you pop.
Cover up unbuttoned pants with extra-long styles.
T-SHIRT Slide by in a largersize shirt from your own stash for the first few months.
MATERNITY T-SHIRT Show off your great new cleavage with a V-neck style.
CARDIGAN Be ready for unexpected hot flashes. A basic button-up is easy-on, easy-off.
Get a neutral hue, like black, that you can dress up or down.
SKIRT Turn to a pencil skirt for a slimming style even when you start feeling bigger.
MATERNITY SKIRT Highlight your thinnest assets (your legs!) with a short hemline.
LITTLE BLACK DRESS A style with an Empire waist won’t restrict your growing bump.
BIG BLACK DRESS Take the maternity route and your dress won’t ride up in front.
HUSBAND’S T-SHIRT Steal one of his XL tees for some relief in the final stretch.
Don’t reveal any seams with your snug tanks and tees.
BLACK PANTS A side zip is easy to leave open unnoticeably.
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glow An outtie belly button, midnight snacks, orgasms and more…
Why don’t I have the “pregnancy glow” everyone talks about? My skin actually looks awful. What’s the deal? Sorry, but the truth is shiny might be more like it; here’s why, according to Kenneth Mark, MD, board certified dermatologist, clinical assistant professor of dermatology at New York University. shine Blame it on hormones pushing your glands into overdrive. Specifically, an increase in progesterone levels is to blame for a super-shiny complexion. HOW TO FIX IT Wash with a mild cleanser. Avoid using harsh soaps or chemicals, and don’t wash more than twice a day, which can actually backfire and create more oil. pimples Your sebaceous glands are working overtime now—especially in those first three months when progesterone and estrogen levels are on the rise. HOW TO FIX IT The good news: Acne usually clears up on its own eventually. In the meantime, just use a mild cleanser and ask your doctor about topical treatments. redness If your once-attractive blush has veered off into blotchy, red-faced territory, the culprits are your hormones (again) and a blood flow increase of up to 50 percent. HOW TO FIX IT Avoid hot, spicy foods— they’ll just up your circulation even more. Slather on antioxidant cream rich in ingredients like green tea, vitamin C and vitamin E.
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What’s the deal with eating carbs during pregnancy? Should I? Which ones? Pregnancy is not the time to go low-carb. Carbohydrates give you energy and can be an important source of fiber and other nutrients. About half your calories should come from carbs during pregnancy. But all carbs are not created equal. Simple carbs are quickly converted to sugar in the body. They provide a quick burst of energy, with not much in the way of sticking power, says Debra Goldman, MD, an ob-gyn at Women & Infants Hospital of Rhode Island. To avoid simple carbs, stay away from processed and refined foods, since they contain more of them—and they offer less nutrition. This includes white bread, white rice, chips and candy. Instead, choose complex carbs, which include whole-grains such as oatmeal, legumes such as dried beans, and starchy vegetables. They take longer to break down in the body, providing energy over time. They also have fiber. Pregnant women should eat 9 to 11 servings of carbohydrates per day. (Before you go nuts, know that a serving size of carbs is smaller than you probably think: 1/3 cup of rice counts as a serving. So does 1/2 of an English muffin or 1 ounce of cereal.) Aim for about half of your carb intake to come from whole grains.
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Instead, stock up on lean proteinMy belly button was an innie. Now it’s rich snacks. “Protein takes a little longer an outtie! Why? to metabolize; it stays around awhile so “The common joke is that your belly button you’re not as likely to get hungry as quickly is your turkey timer; it pops out when afterwards,” Kasper says. In other words, it’s time to have baby,” says Kelly eating a protein-rich midnight snack Kasper, MD, ob-gyn and associate clinical will help you make it until morning. Lowprofessor at the Indiana University School fat yogurt, trail mix, nuts and of Medicine. But really, your string cheese are good bets. belly button has turned inside Other healthy options include out simply because baby’s whole-wheat toast with getting pretty big. My belly got As baby and your belly super-hard after peanut butter, low-fat cheese with crackers or half a turkey grow, the muscles of your an orgasm. sandwich served on wholeabdomen stretch. The belly Should I worry? wheat bread. button area doesn’t have No, your uterus much muscle over it, so when has always I’m overweight. How can I your uterus begins to push contracted when find a doctor with experience against it from the inside, it easily gets pushed outward, you orgasm. Now seeing patients like me? Start with recommendations Kasper says. it’s a lot bigger from friends or family Miss your old innie? Good so you notice it members. Scan your health news: Your belly button more. This won’t insurance book or website should return to normal within hurt baby, and to see which doctors are a few months of giving birth. is normal unless covered by your plan. Then it’s severe, lasts schedule an appointment to I keep waking up in the more than a few meet and get a feel for their middle of the night hungry! minutes, or comes personality and practice. What should I snack on? with bright During the interview, ask Something tasty! Seriously, about their experience and there’s no need to force down red bleeding. approach to caring for plus-size snacks you hate; otherwise, pregnant women. “Ask the what’s the point of getting ob-gyn if they’re comfortable out of bed? But that doesn’t with managing plus-size women, mean you have free rein to eat anything and whether the facility they’re using and everything you’re craving. High-fat, is equipped for it,” Goldman says. “You high-salt, high-sugar and highly processed want a provider who knows how to foods aren’t good for anyone, and such identify, reduce and manage the risk that empty calories make it extremely easy for a can come with a plus-size pregnancy.” pregnant woman to gain extra weight without actually getting enough nutrition for her You also want someone who treats you with respect and makes you feel and baby (one to two pounds per week comfortable and positive. in the second and third trimesters is ideal).
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Look your best with tips at TheBump.com/glow
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nest
cool and collected
See how Christine Schmidt of Yellow Owl Workshop created a worldly and one-of-a kind room for baby Emilia. BY ELENA DONOVAN MAUER PHOTOGRAPHY BY THAYER ALLYSON GOWDY >
a souvenir from japan is a playful touch
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Make sure the second hug feels just as good.
nest
handmade with love
As a designer of printed goods, it was only natural for Schmidt to make items herself, including the twig-and-felt mobile. Mixing new things—a Jenny Lind crib—with sentimental pieces, like a rocking horse made by an uncle, gives the room a collected look. >
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nest
pulling it all together
Schmidt shied away from theme and gender specificity so her daughter could make the room her own. When pieces don’t match, repeat an element throughout, she says. “Bright red ties the room together. I use that color all the time—I just can’t help it.”
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STYLING: MIRANDA JONES
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Get more nursery inspiration at TheBump.com/nursery
9/3/14 10:01 AM
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what to
register for
Pulling together a well-stocked nursery starts with registering for all the essentials. Use this list as your guide. PHOTOGRAPH BY LAURE JOLIET
PHOTO CREDIT
art from animalprintshop.com
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nursery
bath
medicine cabinet
Crib, cradle or bassinet
Baby bathtub
Baby lotion
Crib mattress
Baby soap/shampoo
Baby nail clippers
2–3 waterproof crib mattress pads
2–4 soft towels or hooded baby towels
2–3 fitted crib sheets
Baby hairbrush
Cotton balls (don’t use swabs to clean baby’s nose or ears)
4–6 soft, light receiving blankets
2–4 soft washcloths
1–2 heavier blankets
feeding
Bulb syringe/nasal aspirator
Rocking or arm chair
2–3 nursing bras
Medicine dropper
Sound machine or stereo to play music
Nursing pads
Crib mobile with blackand-white images
Nursing pillow
Petroleum jelly and sterile gauze (for circumcision care)
Baby monitor Night-light Dresser Toy basket Swing or bouncy chair
changing Changing table or cushioned changing pad for low dresser or bureau Changing table pad 2–3 changing table pad covers Diaper cream
Nipple cream Breast pump (even if you only plan to nurse, a pump will allow you to leave milk for baby if you want or need to separate)
watch the q-tips!
Infant acetaminophen (Tylenol) Saline nasal drops Baby gas drops Hand soap (for you)
Milk storage bags 10–16 BPA-free, 4-oz. bottles and nipples Bottle brush Dishwasher basket for small items 4–8 bibs 6–8 burp cloths (or cloth diapers) 2–4 pacifiers
10–12 soft washcloths (for wiping) or unscented baby wipes
High chair
Diaper wipe warmer
4–6 undershirts
One dozen cloth diapers and 6–8 diaper covers, or 2–3 large boxes of disposable newbornsize diapers
4–6 long-sleeve onesies
Diaper pail or trash can
Baby thermometer
clothing 4–6 footed outfits 4–6 sleep sacks or swaddle wraps Infant hats
s ta y sa f e
Skip the cr ib bumpers. They pose a suff ocation risk.
travel Infant or convertible car seat Stroller (reclining to almost flat for an infant) Umbrella stroller Diaper bag Portable changing pad Baby carrier/sling
No-scratch mittens
Create your ultimate list at TheBump.com/registry
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Stay in the know with our up-to-theminute recall updates at Blog.The Bump.com. Sign up for recall emails at TheBump.com/ updates.
RECALL IS YOUR BABY GEAR
dangerous?
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no babies in bed “There are a lot more SIDS risk factors that occur during bed sharing. Babies who sleep share with parents who smoke have a very high risk of death. There’s also overheating—the more bodies in a bed, the warmer it gets. Or, there’s suffocation—it can happen because of bedding or a parent or sibling could roll onto baby. Entrapment between the mattress and the bed frame or wall is another risk. The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends a different form of co-sleeping: putting the crib or bassinet next to the bed. Study after study has shown that the safest place for baby is in the parents’ room, on a different sleep surface.” RACHEL MOON, MD
co-sleeping?
make room for more “Yes, there’s evidence that SIDS and suffocation can happen during co-sleeping, but there’s a simple remedy—put baby on a hard pillow, raise him up, and you can’t roll onto him. These problems are so rare and tend to happen when a parent is obese or has alcohol problems. And actually, there is research that shows sleeping next to an adult helps babies breathe better. When you’re co-sleeping, you can respond to crying immediately. You don’t have to wake up —you can feed and do all sorts of things while you’re half asleep. When a parent responds slowly, baby’s brain releases stress hormones. With co-sleeping, you and baby will both sleep better. You’re less tired, less cranky and better at interacting with baby during the day.” MICHAEL LAMPORT COMMONS, PHD
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Head off sleep issues at TheBump.com/sleep
9/3/14 10:19 AM
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b abyproofing guide Prep your pad room-by-room with our ultimate safety checklist. general safety Install a UL-certified carbon monoxide detector on every story of your house if you use gas or oil appliances or have an attached garage. Check the batteries of any detectors you already have.
Cut any looped blind or curtain cords and install safety tassels and cord stops.
Do the above routine for smoke detectors.
Check house and yard for poisonous plants, and move out of baby’s reach.
Purchase a fire extinguisher, learn how to use it, and put it somewhere easy to find. Stock your medicine cabinet or first-aid kit. Post emergency numbers next to landline phones, and program them into your cell. Install a temperature guard on your water heater, set at a maximum of 120° F. Get any flaking or peeling paint sealed or removed by a professional, especially if your home was built before 1978. (Dust from lead paint, which was banned from residential use that year, can be harmful if ingested.)
Always unplug and store your electric appliances not in use (iron, flatiron, etc).
Place baby wipes and supplies within your reach from the changing table, but out of baby’s. Put a thick rug below the changing table. Position the crib away from windows, heaters, lamps, wall décor and cords. Set all pillows, stuffed animals and thick blankets out of the crib and away from baby’s reach. If you plan to hook a high chair to your kitchen table, check that the table is sturdy and strong.
room-by-room
car
Put nonslip pads under all rugs.
Install an approved rear-facing car seat in the backseat.
Cover all sharp furniture edges and corners with safety padding.
Put hanging shades on the back windows to block the rays.
Block all open outlets with furniture or use safety plugs. Close and latch any drawers, doors or cupboards within baby’s reach.
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See our safety gear picks at TheBump.com/safetygear
9/3/14 10:19 AM
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nest
Modern nursery design, repurposing baby furniture, saving for college and more…
How can I make the nursery modern yet still appropriate for baby? Zero in on furniture, colors and accents that echo your home’s clean, sleek aesthetic, then add a touch of whimsy, says Shalena Smith, of Shalena Smith Interiors and founder of GaGa Designs. Color is one way to play with that idea. Pair an on-trend power neutral, like gray, taupe or white, with a punchy color, like hot pink, turquoise or yellow. “It makes the space feel more fun and kid friendly, and you can update it easily too,” Smith says. “Bring in the color with a throw blanket, bed skirt, pillows—things that are less expensive and labor intensive to switch out. Or, invest in good quality window treatments.” Choose artwork that ties in with the room’s accent colors and theme, if there is one. Smith suggests personalized pieces, like family photos blown up on canvases. Don’t feel like wall art needs to be “babyish.” Abstract art makes baby’s room chic and adds high design. Light fixtures can also lend a stylish touch. That could mean anything from an ornate, sparkly chandelier to simple pendants or all-wood fixtures. And don’t forget about the floors. If yours are hardwood, choose a bright area rug to punch up yet soften the space.
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How can I repurpose baby’s furniture after he outgrows it? Pick pieces with longevity from the get-go. Here’s how to repurpose, recycle and reuse some nursery MVPs. CRIB Consider a model that converts into a toddler bed (bonus points if it also turns into a twin bed) to use for the long haul. DRESSER If space allows, invest in a model that has at least three adult-size drawers. This will give you plenty of room for stashing clothes, diapers and doodads. Use the top of the dresser now as a changing station— just attach and secure a pad. Once baby is potty trained, remove the pad and hang a mirror or a few shelves above it. BOOKSHELF Buy a unit that has a couple of drawers at the bottom. That’s because as kids grow older (and more hell-bent on wreaking havoc on your organization system), it’s easy to hide potential eyesores. ARMOIRE A nice compromise between a dresser and bookshelf, an armoire has space for hanging clothes, folded clothes, diapers and toys. And the armoire’s doors will hide any messes inside. Give the piece a coat of chalkboard paint to let it double as a cool place to scribble. GLIDER Choose one that’s easy to reupholster or use a slipcover to match another room. When you’re done with midnight feedings, it will probably end up elsewhere.
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r
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g
Is it true I can get a free breast pump I’ve seen parents pushing shopping carts with car seats on top of them. Is that safe? through my health insurance? Yes, you may be able to—it depends on Nope. Because we see other parents with your plan. Part of the Affordable Care Act, their babies’ car seats perched on shopping the health insurance reform legislation that carts, we think it’s okay, but it’s actually went into effect August 1, 2012, is meant more dangerous than you probably think. to give people better access to preventive Shopping carts can tip over easily—and care—that includes helping they’re more likely to if there’s a pregnant women and new car seat mounted on them, moms pay for lactation support, says Debra Holtzman, author What is a 529 counseling and breastfeeding of The Safe Baby. “The cart has savings plan? equipment. So now, many a narrow wheel base in relation It’s a plan health insurance plans cover to its height, so the center of operated by the cost of a breast pump gravity is affected when you the state or an (hooray!). How to get one: put a child in it,” she says. “When the car seat is on top CHECK YOUR PLAN First, call your educational of it, the center of gravity is health insurance company institution to affected even more, increasing and ask what’s covered and help parents put the chances of tipping.” what you need to do to get it. away money for Adding groceries and other It could be completely free a child’s college swag to your cart makes it or come with a co-pay. tuition with tax even more unstable. “If the FIND AN IN-NETWORK PROVIDER advantages. car seat flips, your child will Your breast pump may be There are several be trapped,” says Tom Patire, covered only if you buy it types of plans safety expert and author of in the right place, so make available, so talk the Personal Protection Handsure you get the list from book. Instead of mounting your insurance carrier of its to a financial the car seat on the shopping in-network providers. There advisor to see cart, choose an alternative: may be some paperwork which might be you need to fill out too. DO TAG-TEAM SHOPPING Let right for you. your partner take care of baby PICK A GOOD PUMP A doublewhile you do the shopping, electric pump is a must-have or vice versa. Or bring along a for a working mom who plans friend who can hold baby (or push him in to breastfeed. Go to TheBump.com to a stroller) while you use the cart. see our recommendations. USE A BABY CARRIER OR SLING Baby is much PRACTICE, PRACTICE, PRACTICE After baby more stable strapped to your body than he is born, practice using your breast pump, would be perched on a shopping cart. and save up some extra breast milk before your first day back to work. Knowing you TAKE SHORTER, MORE FREQUENT TRIPS Get have a freezer stocked with breast milk just what you need for the next day or to give to baby’s caregiver will make the two. You’ll likely have enough room to tote transition less stressful. everything in the stroller basket.
Check out baby gear buying guides at TheBump.com/gear
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delivery
first-time coach? you’ve got this in the bag!
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lessons for a labor coach
Hand this advice (courtesy of a dad who’s learned a few things) to your partner. Tell him he can thank us later! BY ADRIAN KULP PHOTOGRAPHY BY KT MERRY
When it was my turn to coach my wife through the birth of our first, I wish I’d been better prepared. Case in point: As I rode the hospital elevator with another expectant dad, he asked me if I knew about “the bathing suit thing.” What!? (More on that below.) Since I’ve been down that road three times now, allow me to share my experiences with you, along with some advice from the experts.
you’ve got to make a plan
And I’m not talking about an escape plan! (It’s too late for that.) Before labor, sit down with your partner to map out how you want delivery day to go. To get started, research different hospitals, consult a doula or take a childbirth class together. Discuss what will make her feel positive and negative during a vulnerable time, says Latham Thomas, a doula and founder of MamaGlow.com. She recommends positive affirmations and guided imagery to help calm mom in the delivery room.
you should pack a few surprises
She’s giving you a child, the least you could do is give her a couple of lollipops, right!? You’ll win major points if you show up with some unexpected extras to comfort her, like her favorite music, some bottled water, mints or hard candies to alleviate dry mouth, and some lip balm. You have no idea how dry her lips and mouth can get during labor, Thomas says. Plus, the more prepared you are, the more relaxed everyone will be. >
Philadelphia/South Jersey thebump.com
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Huh? As I mentioned, this one caught me off guard. Why? Am I headed to the hot tub with the nurses clocking out from the day shift? Nope, sorry. Even if you’re not planning on a water birth, there may actually be a time during the rigors of early labor when water therapy could be used to alleviate some of the pain and stress on mom. Many hospitals have a tub or whirlpool available in the maternity ward (the shower can be used too), and it’s not uncommon for a coach to jump in (no cannonballs, please!) and offer some physical and emotional support.
you’re going to have to get into position
Wait, isn’t that what got us into this mess to begin with? But seriously, delivery isn’t just exhausting for her; coaching can be labor-intensive for you too. As a coach, it’s important to help the process progress as much as possible, says Christina Sebestyen, MD, a physician and owner of OBGYN North in Austin, Texas. Part of that includes suggesting that your partner switch positions when she seems to be “hitting a wall.” Changing positions can bring some relief and rejuvenate her mental state, Sebestyen says. So prepare to bend or squat behind her or even squeeze into the bed with her—whatever you need to do to help support and comfort her while she’s experiencing pain.
you’re allowed to take a break
I’m not going to lie, seeing your partner in pain can be tough to take, and it’ll be even tougher to leave her side. But as much as you need to focus on her, you also have to take care of yourself. An exhausted, nauseated or panicked coach won’t do mom any good. A lot goes on during labor, and you could be in it for the long haul. To start, bring a few changes of comfortable clothes and your toiletry kit (or in my case, a gallon-size zip-top bag with my toothbrush and random bathroom gear). If you need to step away for a break—whether it’s to grab coffee or to collect yourself if you get queasy—don’t feel bad. Just have a pinch hitter on standby, like her mom or sister, to relieve you for a bit.
you might have to skip taco tuesday
“Please, please, no eating in the labor or delivery room,” is a common refrain dads hear. This one drives doctors crazy— you can’t imagine what people do. In fact, Sebestyen once found some family members sitting around eating take-out while the mom-to-be was mid-contraction. General Tso’s chicken with a side of grunting and screaming? Not a good idea. Instead, you want to help create a serene environment throughout the entire process. You never know when a certain smell, sound or action could upset your partner. Translation: Go eat in the lounge! >
4 signs of labor BLOODY DISCHARGE
Sometimes called the “bloody show,” it occurs when labor is anywhere from a few minutes to hours away.
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LOSS OF THE MUCUS PLUG
This mucus-like membrane could come off all at once or little by little, like a thick discharge.
BROKEN WATER
When your water breaks, it might feel more like a trickle as opposed to a gush. Either way, call the doctor.
REGULAR CONTRACTIONS
If they’re coming five minutes apart and are centered in the pelvic area, it’s probably time!
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you may need a bathing suit
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delivery
you’ll want to watch your p’s & q’s
Unless you want to get slapped across the face with a bag full of IV fluid, try to keep your complaining in check. Avoid any negative triggers, warns Linda Perry, a home birth midwife, who has been working with families for 23 years at Complete Woman Midwifery. I’m fairly certain these triggers could be physical actions—for instance, breathing through my mouth or cleaning my teeth with my tongue—but verbal too. Inappropriate banter includes: “Hon, how long do you think we’ll be here?” and “This stupid hospital guest chair is uncomfortable; it’s kind of digging into my back a little.” Seriously? Nothing you’re going through is anywhere near as bad as her situation, so suck it up and repeat after me: “This day is all about her!”
you’ve got to keep your head in the game
No matter how much you’ve planned in advance, you never know what might happen next in this whole crazy process. Regardless of whether or not labor and delivery takes two hours or turns into a 48-hour marathon, or if this is your first child or even your fifth, you’ll want to be prepared for the unexpected. The birth plan you come up with beforehand may all work out, but there’s a chance it will fall by the wayside, and if so, you’ll need to go with the flow. Get a good night’s rest during the weeks leading up to the due date, so you can be as present as possible for whatever may get thrown your way. Your job is to help maintain some semblance of peace and calm during the height of the storm, Thomas says.
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you need to be an advocate for your partner
There may be times throughout labor when mom won’t be in the best frame of mind to ask for what she wants or needs. Instead of constantly repeating questions like “How are you doing?” try taking a more proactive approach. Go down the hall and get her a cup of ice chips, find a pillow or a sock full of tennis balls that she might want to put behind her back, or call a nurse to come adjust the pain medication if she’s using it. Oh, and don’t be afraid to speak up if the doctors and staff aren’t following the plan you and your wife discussed. There may be a good reason why they’re veering from the original instructions, but you won’t know unless you remind them of what you want.
Find more daddy must-reads at TheBump.com/dads
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you told us…
on breastfeeding “Don’t freak out about having enough breast milk. As long as you’re nursing baby on demand while you’re with him, your supply will adjust to meet his needs.” EMERALD27
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delivery
my birth
story
Philadelphia-area mom Elizabeth Firsten shares her baby’s natural, speedy delivery.
waiting it out
zero to 60
Since I had already been 3 centimeters dilated and fully effaced for days, I went into active labor as soon as my water broke. My contractions were coming every four minutes and lasting a full minute. My doula, Nikki, was right; there was no confusion as to whether or not this was real labor. The contractions were intense—I was sick a few times—so I got into the shower to help with the pain. I knew I wanted to be at home for as long as possible, so we waited until the contractions had been occurring consistently for an hour before leaving for the hospital around 2 a.m.
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sticking to the plan
Thankfully, I was the only woman in labor that night, so I was able to use one of two suites with a birthing tub. Thank God for that tub, and for my doula. I remember thinking I needed medicine, but I knew she could get me through labor drug free. I trusted her explanations of what was happening. She made sure the lights were dim and used counter pressure to help with the worst contractions. After 45 minutes in the tub, I was ready to push.
welcome baby!
Hannah was born an hour later. I was happy to have a natural birth—I wasn’t groggy after. We immediately had skin-to-skin contact, so my first memory of my daughter is her on my chest, with her right hand wrapped around my finger and her left hand wrapped around my husband’s.
the 411 BABY’S NAME Hannah Naomi SIZE AT BIRTH 6 lbs., 15 oz. HOSPITAL Lankenau Medical Center DELIVERY MUST-HAVE Yoga ball, labor Jacuzzi
THINKSTOCK
My doula kept telling me, “You’ll know when you’re in real labor,” but since this was my first child, I had no context at all. I actually experienced about 10 days of prodromal labor. After many nights of these contractions, I started to think I’d be pregnant forever. My husband, Steve, and I were in bed watching TV around midnight when I felt my water break. He said he’s never seen me jump up so fast, especially in my third trimester.
Prep yourself for delivery at TheBump.com/birth
9/3/14 10:20 AM
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Cooper University Health Care FOUNDED 1887
SERVING Southern New Jersey and the Delaware Valley ABOUT US For more than 125 years, Cooper University Hospital has provided mothers and mothersto-be with exceptional prenatal, OB-GYN, NICU and pediatric care. Our dedicated physicians and nurses care for women and their babies before, during and after delivery, while our Ripa Center for Women’s Health and Wellness at Cooper provides childbirth and family/sibling education, fitness, nutrition and integrated clinical services to support healthy, strong families.
CooperHealth.org/women 1 Cooper Plaza Camden, NJ 08103 (856) 673-4912 SHUTTERSTOCK
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Jefferson.edu/women 111 South 11th Street Philadelphia, PA 19107 (800) JEFF-NOW
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Nemours/ Alfred I. duPont Hospital for Children FOUNDED 1936 SERVING PA, NJ and DE ABOUT US At Nemours/
Alfred I. duPont Hospital for Children, we’ve made a promise to do whatever it takes to help children grow up healthy and reach their full potential. We partner with parents to provide a family-centered approach to pediatric health care. We treat everyday illnesses along with chronic conditions in locations throughout the region. Learn more about why we are ranked among the nation’s best by U.S.News & World Report on our website.
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Advertisement Philadelphia/South Jersey Hospitals
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PennMedicine.org/obgyn Philadelphia, PA (800) 789-PENN
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delivery
let labor happen naturally “Under some circumstances, induction is called for and will improve the outcome for the mother and baby. But when it’s not necessary, it can have the opposite effect. A medical induction with oxytocin requires an IV and continuous electronic fetal monitoring. Overstimulation of the uterus with medication can cause fetal problems. Mom is stuck in bed, and more likely to have prolonged labor or back labor, need vacuum extraction or forceps, or have a c-section. In our hospital, for first-time moms who labor on their own, the c-section rate is 8 percent. If they’re induced, it’s 44 percent.” MICHAEL C. KLEIN, MD
labor induction?
induction has benefits “The placenta starts to age as pregnancy progresses. This isn’t to say the placenta can’t support baby at 40 weeks, but it’s less able than it was at 39 weeks. And, if there are risk factors that cause the placenta to age faster (smoking, gestational diabetes), you’ll need to get baby out earlier. There aren’t many situations where inducing labor can increase the risk of trouble, as long as your doctor is patient and mindful of cervical status. If inductions are done properly—after 38 weeks with good ripening and a longer dose of Pitocin—we wouldn’t have many problems. If women can have elective c-sections, then why not elective inductions?” JAMES M. NICHOLSON, MD
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Prep for any kind of birth at TheBump.com/delivery
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k 9/3/14 10:19 AM
delivery
birth plan Use this checklist to prepare you (and your doctor) for labor. full name:
partner’s name:
today’s date:
due date/induction date:
doctor’s name :
hospital name:
my delivery is planned as:
during labor, I’d like:
Vaginal C-section Water birth VBAC
Music played (which I’ll provide) The lights dimmed The room to be as quiet as possible As few interruptions as possible As few vaginal exams as possible Hospital staff to be limited to my own doctor and nurses (no students, residents or interns present) To wear my own clothes To wear my contact lenses My partner to film and/or take pictures My partner to be present the entire time To stay hydrated with clear liquids and ice chips To eat and drink as approved
I’d like my present during labor. Partner Parents Children Doula Other
I’d like my present after delivery. Partner Parents Children Doula Other
for pain relief, I’d like to use: Acupressure Acupuncture Breathing techniques Cold therapy Distraction Epidural Hot therapy Hypnosis Massage Meditation Reflexology Systemic medication TENS Nothing Only what I request at the time Whatever is suggested
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as baby is delivered, I’d like to: Push spontaneously Push as directed Push with no time limits, as long as baby and I aren’t at risk Use a mirror to see baby crown Touch the head as it crowns Avoid forceps usage Avoid vacuum extraction Use whatever methods my doctor deems necessary Help catch baby Let my partner catch baby Let my partner suction baby
I’d like to hold baby: Immediately after delivery After suctioning After weighing After being wiped clean and swaddled Before eyedrops/ointment is given
Learn your birth options at TheBump.com/birth
9/3/14 10:19 AM
Prepare, Relax, Breathe
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when’s baby coming? You can’t know for sure unless it’s a scheduled delivery, but check out these recent stats.
20%
were born right on time at 40 weeks
6%
were fashionably late (week 42 and higher)
25%
30%
arrived at 39 weeks
8%
came at week 41
11%
of babies were born really early (before week 37)
came at 37 or 38 weeks
Count down to delivery at TheBump.com/calendar
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delivery Stages of labor, cutting the cord, perineal massage and more…
How far apart will the contractions be? Your body will go through a few different stages before you and baby meet. EARLY LABOR In the beginning, contractions typically last about 30 to 45 seconds, with anywhere from 5 to 30 minutes of rest between them, says Robert Wool, MD, clinical instructor of obstetrics and gynecology at Tufts University. Don’t panic to get to the hospital or birthing center right away, but prepare yourself to leave, especially if your contractions are growing more intense, lasting longer, and happening closer together. ACTIVE LABOR Soon enough, contractions will last about 45 to 60 seconds, with just 3 to 5 minutes of rest between each one. They’ll feel longer and stronger. If you haven’t already, this is the time to get to your birthing center or hospital. TRANSITION PHASE During the last phase before your cervix is fully dilated, contractions usually last 60 to 90 seconds, with just 30 seconds to 2 minutes rest between each, Wool says. They’re intense and can even overlap. This can be overwhelming. URGE TO PUSH Once your cervix is dilated to 10 centimeters, contractions last about the same—45 to 90 seconds with 3 to 5 minutes of rest between—and you’ll feel a strong urge to push. Rest between them, because you’re at the home stretch!
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Is there a benefit to waiting before my partner cuts the umbilical cord? Yes! Early cord clamping—almost immediately after birth—has been the standard for decades, but a 2013 review of 15 medical studies found that delaying cord cutting improved babies’ birth weight, blood concentration and iron stores at six months of age without increasing moms’ risk of bleeding. That’s because clamping the cord immediately deprives baby of some of his normal blood volume. By delaying cord clamping, you allow baby to equilibrate, and get nourishment and oxygen from your body as he learns to take his first breaths. It can take anywhere from a minute to three minutes or so for the cord to stop pulsating, at which point it will be done delivering all that goodness to baby. Delaying cord clamping and cutting, even if just for a minute or two, may decrease the chances of baby developing iron-deficiency anemia and improve his overall health, so it’s worth requesting. What is perineal massage? Your perineum is the area of skin and tissue that separates the vagina and the anus. Some women will massage this region in the weeks leading up to delivery to make the area more supple and pliable in an effort to help reduce the need for
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(
cally easier to deliver than large ones, an episiotomy (a surgical incision into the Wool notes. Of course, when you’re in this area) or tearing during delivery. final stage of labor, every minute may feel There’s not a lot of research to prove that like an hour, so prepare yourself mentally this prelabor self-massage actually helps, and physically by taking childbirth classes. says Michele Hakakha, MD, an ob-gyn in That way, push comes to shove (sorry, we private practice in Beverly Hills, California. couldn’t resist), you’ll know what to expect And some doctors think it can actually and feel strong and confident. thicken the tissue rather than make it softer, so the decision The doctor told me baby is whether or not to give it a go transverse. What does that is completely up to you. What is TENS? mean exactly? When it comes time for you Transcutaneous Baby usually hangs out in to deliver baby, your doctor or Electrical Nerve a few different positions while midwife may gently massage Stimulation. A in the womb. Sometimes the perineum, helping to relax TENS unit is a she’s head down (vertex), the tissue around baby’s head portable device sometimes head up (breech), as she crowns. This can make that delivers mild and occasionally she may labor and delivery go more bursts of lowbe sideways (transverse). smoothly and help minimize voltage electricity As you near delivery, she’ll tears—especially for first-time through the skin pick a position and stay that moms—which will make your way. Luckily, very few babies recovery more comfortable. to the nerves to interrupt the flow actually stay in a transverse position because the uterus is How long will I actually have of pain signals. built to stretch up and down, to push to deliver baby? Some moms not side to side, says Melissa The “push” phase of your swear it relieves M. Goist, MD, assistant delivery depends on many labor pains professor of obstetrics and different factors, including and others say gynecology at The Ohio State what kind of shape you’re in it didn’t work University Wexner Medical (fit = shorter), how big baby is for them. Center. Plus, gravity should (large = longer) and if you’ve help baby get into place. By received an epidural (meds 36 weeks, she’ll likely descend can = longer). Some women into the head-down position. But in some push for as long as four hours straight, cases she might become breech. Delivering and some deliver baby on their second a breech baby vaginally poses some risks, push, Wool says. so if that’s the case, your doctor may There are a few more rules of thumb ask if you want to try and turn baby with that can help you estimate whether you’ll an inversion procedure to get her into a push for a little or a lot of time: In general, vertex position. If that doesn’t work, you you’ll probably push longer with your may consider having a c-section. Discuss first baby than you will with subsequent the pros and cons with your OB. deliveries. Smaller babies are quite logi-
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Learn the ins and outs of delivery at TheBump.com/delivery
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basics
vaccine fears
If you follow the recommendations, baby will get five shots (and one liquid!) by the time he’s two months old. And it’s easy to wonder whether you’re doing the right thing. BY ELENA DONOVAN MAUER
Imagine if there was something you could do so baby would never get a life-threatening infection or a virus that could paralyze him. It seems so obvious you’d do it, right? But the parents who don’t vaccinate and the parents who do worry about it on the same level. So what’s really at the heart of the debate? We know beyond certainty that “vaccinating protects babies from dire infections, stuff that causes horrible
complications,” says Cheryl Wu, MD, a pediatrician in New York City. At the same time, information on the Internet and releases by anti-vaccine groups make them seem terribly unsafe and even medically unethical for doctors to administer. THE FEAR dangerous
side effects
Why give baby something that can cause diarrhea, allergic reaction, rash or fever?
what shots to get when
The CDC’s recommended vaccine schedule for baby’s first year-and-half.
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BIRTH
1 MONTH TO 2 MONTHS
Hepatitis B (HepB)
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Hepatitis B (HepB) [2nd dose] Rotavirus Diphtheria, tetanus and acellular pertussis (DTaP)
Haemophilus influenzae type b (Hib) Pneumococcal conjugate (PCV13) Inactivated poliovirus (IPV)
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4
The potential side effects are less scary than your baby getting, say, diphtheria (as many as 1 in 5 kids who get it dies) or polio (it can cause lifelong paralysis). “Minor side effects are common—a sore arm, body aches, maybe a fever,” says Ari Brown, MD, a pediatrician in Austin, Texas, and author of Baby 411. “Those are a small price to pay for protection against a disease that is much, much worse to experience.”
“200 studies have said there is no link between vaccines and autism.” “Significant adverse effects are rare,” Brown adds. “For instance, the risk of having an anaphylactic reaction is about one in a million. Could it happen? Yes. No medication is risk free. But, the risk is extremely low compared to the great benefit.” Vaccines undergo rigorous testing before they come out on the market, and there are regular follow-up tests, says Michael T. Brady, MD, chair of the American Academy of Pediatrics’s (AAP) Committee on Infectious Diseases and associate medical director at Nationwide Children’s Hospital in Columbus, Ohio.
THE FEAR autism
There’s a connection between vaccines and autism, right? Nope. The AAP, CDC, World Health Organization and the Institute of Medicine are all clear on this. Vaccines do not cause autism. Autism and vaccines were first linked in a study published in medical journal The Lancet in 1998, in which 12 children were reported as exhibiting autistic behaviors soon after receiving the measles, mumps and rubella (MMR) vaccine. No one should have taken the study seriously in the first place, says Wu. “Twelve is not enough of a sample to definitively establish causation or association.” Even worse, in 2010, the study was found to have been fraudulent—the doctor who reported it intentionally altered the results—and The Lancet retracted it completely. “In the meantime, some 200 studies were conducted that have said that there is definitively no causation between MMR and autism,” Wu says. “We need to focus our attention and the research dollars to more promising leads on the cause of autism—like early brain development in the womb and prenatal and perinatal risk factors that might be prevented,” Brown says. Other variables that could have an effect on autism risk could be mom and/or dad’s age at the time of conception, premature birth and even mom’s weight before pregnancy. >
>
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4 MONTHS
Rotavirus [2nd dose] Diphtheria, tetanus and acellular pertussis (DTaP) [2nd dose] Haemophilus influenzae type b (Hib) [2nd dose]
6 MONTHS
Pneumococcal conjugate (PCV13) [2nd dose] Inactivated poliovirus (IPV) [2nd dose]
Hepatitis B (HepB) [3rd dose] Diphtheria, tetanus and acellular pertussis (DTaP) [3rd dose] Pneumococcal conjugate (PCV13) [3rd dose]
Philadelphia/South Jersey thebump.com
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basics
THE FEAR “the other stuff” in the shot
THE FEAR
Can’t those preservatives harm my baby? You may have heard of thimerosal, a mercury-containing preservative used only in the influenza vaccine in the US, which worries some parents. “We have good data that says thimerosal in vaccines doesn’t cause problems,” says Brady, who notes that thimerosal is used more widely in vaccines in some other countries. Several studies, including one published in Pediatrics in 2010, have deemed it safe. THE FEAR
vaccines being useless
I doubt my baby will get polio—and measles is no big deal. What’s the point? It could take something as simple as someone with one of these conditions hopping a flight to cause an outbreak here, as it did recently with travelers carrying measles to the US, says Brown.
overdoing shots
Should a two-month-old baby really be given six vaccines at one appointment? “The worry is that you’ll overload a baby’s immune system and he won’t be able to handle it. But we know that’s not the case,” says Brady. “Vaccines provide only the minimum amount of material needed to create an immune response.” Because it seems like too much at once, some parents request a modified schedule, which means delaying shots, but that’s actually a gamble. “Being on the schedule means that the vaccine has been tested for this age,” Brady says. “We have evidence that this timing is safe and effective.” With a modified schedule, baby goes longer without protection—not a good idea when there have been outbreaks of measles and whooping cough in the US in recent years. “If a two-month-old gets whooping cough, he can die,” says Brown. “There’s no benefit in waiting—only risk.”
And sure, your parents may have had measles as kids and got through it, but it can lead to pneumonia and cause brain damage, deafness and even death. It’s so contagious that baby would only need to be in the same room as someone with it to catch it. In areas with fewer vaccinated kids, infections spread more easily. “I’ve been a pediatrician for 18 years, and I’m also a mom,” says Brown. “We all want to protect our kids. I vaccinated my children on the recommended schedule. I wouldn’t do anything differently for your kids.”
>
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12 MONTHS
15 MONTHS TO 18 MONTHS
Haemophilus influenzae type b (Hib) [3rd dose] Pneumococcal conjugate (PCV13) [4th dose]
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Inactivated poliovirus (IPV) [3rd dose] Measles, mumps, rubella (MMR) Varicella (VAR) Hepatitis A (HepA)
Diphtheria, tetanus and acellular pertussis (DTaP) [4th dose]
Get more info on vaccines at TheBump.com/vaccines
9/3/14 10:19 AM
n
n
n
Providing modern care with old-fashioned caring from birth through young adulthood. Convenient evening & weekend appointments available. Morning walk-in hours for acute illness 7 days a week!
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basics
head of the
class
Sorry, but baby won’t be arriving with a manual. Luckily these local classes will help you ace this whole parenting thing. BY ANISA ARSENAULT
what to eat
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stroller fitness
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baby-and-me yogastrengthen
and De-stress, stretch -minute yoga 75 s thi at dy bo your where babies ss cla and movement ) are welcome. (and breastfeeding res are stu po d The moves an ape you up, sh to ly on t no d ne desig by. (Tip: ba th wi nd but also to bo r, not her rrie ca r he in by ba Bring sons.) stroller, for space rea r Yoga & we Po illy Ph AT IT TAKE r class, (267) pe 0 $2 Thrive Pilates, hilly.com 908-5395, YandPP
classes for baby LANGUAGE
PLAY
The weekly Bugs by tle It’s ea sier for ba ps Pu classes at The Lit sic Mu The t to gras p a new ou ab all are m s Gy class work langu age ea rly g lea rning, playin on the musical d with the an , on ing lop ve of de nt d an me develop at Ma ma y t ren cla ss es motor skills. Bu infants and child u ca n br us h yo , Yo porta ntly, s im ar st ye r mo fou to ish up . up on your Span for they’re lots of fun old , so it’s great . Biling ua l m too .co ym . leG too itt TheL older siblings .com om Butterfl ies TheMusicClass.c
MUSIC
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THINKSTOCK
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Find more local classes at TheBump.com/philadelphia
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DON’T BLINK
After nine months of waiting, she’s finally here. Enjoy every smile. Every giggle. Every first. Just don’t blink. When you do, she’ll be talking. Walking. She can’t wait to learn. We’re here when she’s ready. At Baldwin, we’ll hold her hand as she learns to learn. We’ll gently guide her as she becomes a leader. And we’ll cheer her on and be her mentor as she changes the world.
An Independent College Preparatory Day School for Girls Pre-K through 12 Bryn Mawr, PA 610-525-2700
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basics
you’re on
call
Fever, diarrhea, vomiting—it’s all scary stuff when your tiny patient can’t talk and you don’t know what’s wrong. BY ELENA DONOVAN MAUER
Even though millions of people do this whole parenting thing every day, you may feel pretty inept at handling common symptoms at first. “There’s a steep learning curve,” says Cheryl Wu, MD, a pediatrician in New York City. “We’re not always around babies much before we have our own, and there’s a general anxiety that parents feel about their children’s well-being.” Use this cheat sheet to help calm some of your worries.
cold
Use natural ways to ease baby’s symptoms. “Running a humidifier can be helpful, and so can using a bulb syringe to help remove the mucus,” says Alanna Levine, MD, a pediatrician at Orangetown Pediatric Associates in Tappan, New York. “Cold and cough medicines aren’t effective or safe for babies.” WHAT OTHER MOMS DO “We get the vaporizer going, tilt the mattress, suck the snot out, use saline and do vapor baths.” –MAMABLASE1 HOW TO TREAT IT
WHEN TO CALL THE DOCTOR
If baby is working harder to breathe—for example, her belly is going in and out very fast, you can see nasal flaring or there’s pulling at the chest—make the call. If there’s a fever, see the fever section at far right.
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throwing up
Wait it out for now—if it just happens once or twice, things are probably okay. WHAT OTHER MOMS DO “My baby had a GI virus with no fever or other symptoms, so there really wasn’t much to do other than watch his hydration and snuggle him.” –JENNA D. HOW TO TREAT IT
WHEN TO CALL THE DOCTOR
Pick up the phone if baby isn’t acting right or not responding well, or if he vomits more than a few times. Also call if you see signs of dehydration, including dried lips or fewer wet diapers than normal. “Babies get dehydrated quickly,” Wu says. If baby’s puke is greenish, yellowish or has blood, or if he can’t seem to keep anything down, he’ll need to see a doctor.
cough
HOW TO TREAT IT Suction baby’s nose with the bulb syringe to get rid of any postnasal drip that could be causing the cough. Moisture from the humidifier or a running shower can thin mucus too. WHAT OTHER MOMS DO “I put Vicks BabyRub on the bottom of her feet at night. It seems weird, but it’s worked amazingly well!”
–REGINA M.
WHEN TO CALL THE DOCTOR
You’ll want to get your doctor on the line if you notice that baby is having any trouble breathing (signs: his rib cage shows when he breathes, he’s grunting or his nostrils flare), or if his lips turn a bluish color when he coughs. You should call anytime baby has a fever along with his cough.
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“For a low fever, a lukewarm bath helps. I give baby a massage and dim the lights to calm her.”
diarrhea
Give baby plenty of breast milk or formula to rehydrate him, says Preeti Parikh, MD, assistant clinical professor of pediatrics at the Ichan School of Medicine at Mount Sinai and pediatrician at Pediatrics of New York. Then watch baby closely to make sure he’s improving. HOW TO TREAT IT
WHAT OTHER MOMS DO
“Our pediatrician had us switch formulas, and baby’s been great since.”
–BLONDIEBIA21
WHEN TO CALL THE DOCTOR
Get on the phone if there’s any blood or any mucus in baby’s poop, he has a high fever or has any signs of dehydration (mentioned on the previous page). If baby is dehydrated, he may need to receive IV fluids at the hospital.
constipation
HOW TO TREAT IT Be sure baby’s getting enough fluids here too. Some doctors recommend giving a small amount of prune juice or corn syrup, but ask first. WHAT OTHER MOMS DO
“We used glycerin suppositories a few times per our doctor. We also gave baby water—1 ounce three times per day between feedings. That only helped temporarily. The cureall was mixing 1 ounce of prune juice with 1 ounce of water every other day as needed.” –KITKAT307
WHEN TO CALL THE DOCTOR
If baby is breastfed and less than one month old, call as soon as you notice. Or call if he’s stopped up for more than three days. It’s also worth a chat if baby’s very fussy or strains to poop for minutes.
fever
HOW TO TREAT IT A rectal temperature that’s higher than 100.4 degrees Fahrenheit is considered a fever for baby, Parikh says. (And yes, rectal is best.) It’s okay to give baby a dose of acetaminophen (Tylenol), but ibuprofen (Advil) isn’t recommended for babies under six months of age. WHAT OTHER MOMS DO “For a low fever, a lukewarm bath helps. And then I give baby a massage with baby lotion. I also dim the lights and play relaxing music to help calm her as I wait for her fever to go down.”
–AUBRIANA R.
WHEN TO CALL THE DOCTOR
Always call the pediatrician if baby is under three months old, acts “out of it” or is very fussy. If the fever has lasted for more than 24 hours or is over 101 degrees, it could be serious, so you definitely want to touch base with the doctor to get her advice. She will likely want to check out baby in person. >
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basics
professional help
excessive crying
First, look for an explanation. Baby could be hungry, tired or need a diaper change. Check for fever or even a hair “tourniquet,” says Parikh, who explains: “Hairs can get wrapped around baby’s fingers or toes, or even a boy’s penis.” Then, troubleshoot to see what will calm baby’s cries. Rock baby, walk him around your home, or try the baby swing. Burp him and bicycle his legs to help get rid of gas, in case that’s what’s making him uncomfortable. Is he teething? Try a cool teething ring or pacifier. HOW TO TREAT IT
WHAT OTHER MOMS DO
“When my daughter is inconsolable, we swaddle her and walk her around with a pacifier in her mouth. Once she’s calm, we put her in her swing, still swaddled, and turn it on with white noise, and she’s out in less than five minutes.” –KARI M.
WHEN TO CALL THE DOCTOR:
Phone the office if you’ve tried what seems like everything and there’s still uncontrollable crying, or if baby has other concerning symptoms. Wu says that if baby is crying a minimum of three hours per day, at least three days per week before she’s three months old, it’s likely colic.
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It’s okay to call baby’s pediatrician anytime— don’t feel like you need to wait or that you’re being an alarmist. “New parents call my office more frequently than experienced ones do, and I encourage them to,” Levine says. “Parents shouldn’t be afraid to ask questions. What can be answered in a few short minutes can save hours of worry.” Here’s the info she’ll want to know: HOW OLD IS BABY?
Something as simple as a cold in the first three months is worth a visit, since babies under three months are particularly vulnerable. And a fever under eight weeks of age means a trip to the emergency room, if it’s outside of office hours. HOW’S HE ACTING?
When baby starts to seem off, keep track of how much he’s eating and sleeping, any noticeable difference in his mood and how often you need to change his diaper. If any of those four things are disrupted, say baby is excessively sleepy, he’s not as alert as he usually is, he’s supercranky or he’s not peeing as much as normal, it’s worth taking baby to the pediatrician’s office. Difficulty breathing, lethargy and dehydration are also considered emergencies. WHAT ARE YOU WORRIED ABOUT?
“If the answer is a variation of ‘I’m worried about the way he looks or breathes or acts,’ then that means a visit to the doctor or the ER,” says Wu. “If the answer is ‘I’m worried about his fever, but he looks okay to me,’ then he’s probably fine.” You may be new at this, but you do have instincts. Once you’re sure it’s not an emergency, it’s okay to keep baby at home and do your best to ease his symptoms. Consult the doctor about anything you’re unsure of—from Tylenol dosage to whether to use a warm- or cool-mist humidifier. “It’s always a good idea to seek guidance from a professional,” Levine says.
Get detailed info on every baby symptom at TheBump.com/sickbaby
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basics
m a ke c o p i es
sleep tracker Monitor baby’s zzz’s. Fill in the month and then shade in the boxes for hours spent snoozing. month:
_____________
time date
12 a.m.
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4 a.m.
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8 a.m.
10 a.m.
12 p.m.
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basics Baby poop, beer and breastfeeding, hiring a sitter and more…
When does breastfeeding get easier? Very soon. The first few days may be tough because your milk may not have come in, but it usually does within a couple days. You and baby may also have trouble getting the latch right, which can be painful and frustrating. Often, all it takes is practice, but it’s also smart to call a pro—a pediatrician, lactation consultant or a postpartum doula or nurse—to help you both get the hang of it. The earlier you can correct a problem, the more likely you and baby are to get on track. Since breast milk production is based on supply and demand, baby’s feeding prompts your body to keep making milk, so it’s important to nurse frequently. If you feel like all you’re doing is feeding your newborn, you’re actually doing it right! Don’t worry, he’ll get more efficient, and feedings will take less of your time in the coming weeks and months. “I’m a pediatrician and I’ve cried many times with all three of my kids due to breastfeeding frustrations the first two weeks,” says Josephine DlugopolskiGach, MD, pediatrician at Loyola University Medical Center. “After a few weeks, the babies and I both ‘got it.’” Other moms we know pretty much agree that breastfeeding got easier by three to four weeks, so hang in there!
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What should baby’s poop look like? If you’re breastfeeding, baby’s poop should be bright yellow, seedy and watery, and come 4 to 10 times a day. But for formula-fed babies, poop usually looks different. “It’s a little more greenish brown in color, pastier and usually less frequent,” says Sabrina Braham, MD, pediatrician in Menlo Park, California, and adjunct clinical faculty member at Stanford University. A formula-fed baby may only poop once a day. “Stool can vary day to day in breastfed babies but less in formula-fed babies.” Should I give my baby fluoride? No, babies less than six months old do not need fluoride supplements, but older kids may need them, depending on the amount of natural fluoride in your water, says Michael Lee, MD, assistant professor of pediatrics at UT Southwestern Medical Center and pediatrician at Children’s Medical Center Dallas. Call your local water utility about your water supply. If it contains between 0.7 and 1.2 parts per million of fluoride, you’re good to go. If your water supply comes from a private well and has less than 0.7 parts per million, or if your family drinks bottled water, fluoride supplements are recommended for toddlers, Lee says. Your child’s dentist or pediatrician can prescribe one.
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(
(
r
and guidelines for other tasks. That also Can drinking a beer really help with my means spelling out terms for your sitter breast milk supply? herself. Some good rules to start out with: There’s some truth to this old wives’ Show up on time, no texting or using cell tale. There’s an ingredient in beer—both phones for personal calls, no visitors, and alcoholic and nonalcoholic—that can always engage with baby by doing agetrigger the release of prolactin, a hormone appropriate activities together. that stimulates milk production. But no Things not working out as one has been able to prove planned? Talk to your sitter that drinking beer actually if there’s an issue. Most of the increases milk supply, says time you just need to clarify Amy Spangler, MN, RN, How long after your expectations to her. IBCLC, author of Breastfeeding: birth will it hurt “Speak calmly and include A Parent’s Guide. Plus, alcohol down there? solutions for any problem,” passes readily into breast Your rate of Kallweit says. milk, and even small amounts recovery depends of alcohol can affect milk Help! I have to go back to work production and milk release, on your physical and I’m having trouble getting Spangler says. (Defeats the condition and baby to take a bottle. purpose, right?) Most experts how much birth A lot of breastfed babies refuse recommend that breastfeeding beat you up, but everything but the real deal mothers drink no more than most moms feel at first. Be patient and know two drinks (that means two a whole lot better that with time (and hunger) ounces of liquor, eight ounces by six weeks baby will eventually accept of wine or two beers) per postpartum. something new. week to prevent baby from Every day will being exposed to alcohol FIND THE RIGHT BOTTLE NIPPLE get a little better, and keep your body’s milk Experiment with a variety production on track. Bottom (slow-flow, fast-flow, wide so just take it line: If you want to put this one achy morning base, narrow base, firm, flextheory to the test, go ahead, ible) to see which ones your at a time. but stick to nonalcoholic beer. baby will accept. Babies typically prefer the flow rate We’re hiring a new sitter. How (slow, medium, fast) that should we set the ground rules? matches their sucking skills. Watch baby Spell out your expectations from the closely during bottle feedings to get-go. “Never leave it up to the sitter see which type she’s adjusting to best. to assume that you need certain things BOTTLE-FEED THE RIGHT WAY Hold baby handled a certain way,” says Adrienne upright and encourage her to pause after Kallweit, founder of SeekingSitters, a few sucks. Stop the feeding as soon a national babysitting referral company. as baby shows signs of fullness. If baby Your ground rules might include basics still refuses a bottle, try a cup. Even on what to feed baby, nap schedules young babies can learn to drink from one.
Get all the baby basics at TheBump.com/baby
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beyond add personalization
reading light is key
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ready for
bed
Time to ditch the crib? Bring on the big kid bed, along with some playful new design elements. PHOTOGRAPH BY HELYNN OSPINA
Your toddler may be ready for a big kid bed between age one-and-a-half and three. “I tell parents to put the bed in the room while there’s still a crib, so the child gets excited to sleep in it,” says Emily Mughannam of EM Design Interiors, who created this room for three-year-old Aden. “This a good time to redesign because they have a more developed personality and new interests.” Infuse your child’s favorite things in subtle, fun ways, like the car, truck and tractor on Aden’s pillow, wall art and dresser.
Find a toddler bed at TheBump.com/toptoddlerbeds
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beyond
5 toddler-friendly
hot spots
Baby will be walking before you know it. Get ready to explore together at one of these fun local places. BY MADELINE SCHMITZ PHOTOGRAPH BY KT MERRY
4231 Avenue of the Republic, Philadelphia; (215) 581-3181; PleaseTouchMuseum.org This is the place for tots who like to touch everything (literally everything). The museum is full of exhibits that encourage hands-on activities, play and learning. At the art studio, guideline-free projects allow toddlers to create their own Pollock-esque masterpieces. Start your kid’s art education here.
Lulu’s Casita
6 Cricket Ave., Ardmore; (610) 642-3623; LulusCasita.com Rainy day? Take your toddler to this indoor playground where she can play dress-up, build a fort out of foam blocks or dive into a ball pit—how’s that for getting out of the house and being active? Plus, you both can take a break at the in-house café—try chicken bites for your tot and a salad or empanada for you. Who knows, maybe you’ll even make some new friends while you’re there.
Philadelphia Zoo
3400 W. Girard Ave., Philadelphia; (215) 243-1100; PhiladelphiaZoo.org What toddler doesn’t love animals? And the zoo has dozens of different species. Your tot can watch tigers and monkeys traverse overhead on the Zoo360 animal exploration trails, take a spin on a swan boat or get his thrills on a rainforestinspired carousel. Don’t miss KidsZooU’s barnyard, where you can see goats and sheep up close.
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Smith Memorial Playground
3500 Reservoir Drive, Philadelphia; (215) 765-4325; SmithPlayground.org This almost-seven-acre playground offers plenty of space for your toddler to run around, climb, jump and play make-believe (all for free!). We’re betting he’ll be asking to come back again. Check out the Playhouse, which was designed specifically for kids under the age of five (it’s bigger than you’d expect, clocking in at more than 16,000 square feet). Here, toddlers can “drive” a train or “cook” in the kitchen. Enjoy monthly story time and crafts too.
Adventure Aquarium
1 Riverside Drive, Camden, NJ; (856) 365-3300; AdventureAquarium.com Hippos, penguins and sharks—oh my! Every Philly-area kid has got to explore Adventure Aquarium. Once you’ve checked out all the exhibits (or watched penguins and hippos gobble up their lunch), venture over to KidZone, designed entirely for children under six years old. Crawl underneath its aquariums for a cool view of sea life, see the glowing Flashlight fish, check out interactive games and enjoy a play area just for little ones.
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beyond
what parents around the world
think you’re doing wrong Midnight feedings, picky eating and baby poop are things parents across the globe deal with daily. But how we handle them can be vastly different.
CHINA
your six-month-old should be potty trained
In some countries, they don’t use diapers, at least not for long. “In rural China, when baby sits up, that’s when it’s time to potty train,” says Mei-Ling Hopgood, author of How Eskimos Keep Their Babies Warm. “Children are trained
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by 18 months old, and often earlier.” Every two hours or so, a Chinese mom squats her child over a basin or in the yard and makes a noise. As a result, the child learns to pee or poop when they hear it! Maybe some American parents aren’t excited about going diaper-free, but there are some who use a take on this method dubbed Elimination Communication (EC). >
JENNIFER PARKE PHOTOGRAPHY
BY KRISTI VALENTINI
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beyond
COSTA RICA
you’re a prude for covering up while breastfeeding
It seems like every new mama includes a nursing cover on her baby registry, and most feel nervous the first time they have to use it out in public. But those inhibitions don’t exist in many other countries—heck, plenty of mamas around the globe don’t use a cover-up at all. “In Costa Rica, breastfeeding is a priority and you see it everywhere, no matter the time or place,” says Maribel Reyes, a mom of two who recently moved there. Remember: You have the right to feed your baby wherever and whenever you want. You don’t have to be shy. JAPAN
you’re cold for using a crib
For most of the world, having your baby sleep separately is totally foreign. “Parents in most other countries believe that being together in the nighttime is an essential part of bonding with baby,” says Christine Gross-Loh, PhD, author of Parenting Without Borders. “When I was in Japan, some of my friends couldn’t believe that American babies are expected to learn how to go to sleep by themselves.” The problem with having baby sleep in your bed is that it can pose a SIDS risk. So consider a bedside bassinet to promote parent-baby communication. FRANCE
feeding baby plain cereal is confining
“In France, they introduce babies to a variety of foods early and have so many baby food flavors, like fish and chocolate rice cereal,” says Natalia Simmons, an American mom of two who moved to France. Leek soup, endive, zucchini, pumpkin and spinach are recommended as first foods by doctors there. Nothing wrong with feeding them to baby.
KENYA
push baby in a stroller? no way!
Kenyan mothers shun strollers and, instead, carry their babies on their backs. Not only because it’s convenient in a country full of potholed dirt roads, but also because being close to mom is comforting, Hopgood notes. Japanese parents have a similar mindset. “In Japan, there’s this concept called ‘skinship.’ It’s the notion that babies and children really need to have plenty of physical contact with their loved ones to grow up secure,” Gross-Loh says. Why not cut out some stroller time and mix in babywearing too? Research suggests that keeping your little one close for at least three hours a day has shown to lessen crying bouts by nearly 50 percent. It may also increase your milk supply and reduce your risk of postpartum depression.
“In France, there are so many baby food flavors, like fish and chocolate cereal.” CANADA
you should be teaching your toddler to talk to strangers
Ali Goldfield, a family counselor in Canada, points out that there’s a disadvantage to labeling all strangers bad: “If your child is lost, how is he going to find help without talking to a stranger?” Instead, she recommends helping kids to recognize creepy adult behaviors and telling them what to do when they spot it. “Looking at other cultures makes you realize there are a million ways to raise a happy, healthy child,” Hopgood says.
Learn about the world’s maternity leave at TheBump.com/worldmatleave
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Visit www.melc.org to find a site near you today!
TM
The Children’s Museum of Philadelphia
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beyond
potty training
dos and don’ ts
Forget what you thought you knew about getting your toddler ready to use the potty. Some of the most popular tactics just don’t work.
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beyond
Potty training: Those two words make many parents cringe. It’s a lot of work, and easy to mess up (and can get messy!). This is what to do and what not to.
don’t
do time it right
Timing is everything, according to a study performed by Joseph Barone, MD, of The Bristol-Myers Squibb Children’s Hospital at Robert Wood Johnson University Hospital. He says: “We tested all kinds of variables, but the only thing that really mattered was that you begin between 27 and 32 months of age.” Earlier, a child’s brain isn’t developed enough to fully grasp the concept. Later, you’re likely to face resistance.
prep ahead
Start out by reading books about using the potty—we like A Potty for Me! by Karen Katz; Potty, by Leslie Patricelli; and Everyone Poops, by Taro Gomi because they’re light (and funny!). Let your toddler sit on the potty when he wants to. Then, pick a date, get all the supplies and start. Barone says if you let your child dictate when it’s time to begin, you could enter “older and, therefore, more difficult to potty train” territory.
don’t limit yourself to one method
There are different ways to do it: using training pants; going straight to underwear; going naked from the waist down; or doing it in three days, three weeks, three months. There’s not one way that works for everyone. “Parents should consider all the methods and strategies available to them,” says Stavinoha. “There may be more than one strategy that can work for you and your child. You will have to mix and match to get the results you want.” >
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ignore the signs
“Your child will tell you, in not so many words, that they’re ready,” says Peter Stavinoha, PhD, neuropsychologist and author of StressFree Potty Training: A Commonsense Guide to Finding the Right Approach for Your Child. “It might be that he’s barging in on mom or dad in the bathroom, or wants to wear Spider-Man underpants.” If you start before seeing the signs, it simply won’t happen.
potty pooper does your toddler hate toilet training? “If your child has tantrums or sheds tears over training, or if you’re getting angry, then stop,” says Elizabeth Pantley, author of The No-Cry Potty Training Solution. “Review your plan and try again, using a different approach, in a month or two.”
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beyond
Your child should be able to dress and undress himself, and sit still long enough to listen to one or two short books before you train, Pantley says.
don’t
do
put stock in training pants
“If you don’t have time for major cleanups, training pants are fine,” says Stavinoha. “But the big knock against them is that there is no consequence for an accident, so there isn’t motivation. With underwear, there’s a clear, immediate consequence.”
do make it pressure-free
Know that this could take a while. “It takes 3 to 12 months from the start of training to daytime toilet independence,” Pantley says. Longer isn’t considered a failure—so keep at it, without stressing. “When the parent goes in thinking, ‘I know this could take months,’ some of those kids train overnight, because there’s no pressure,” Stavinoha notes.
use (small) rewards
Many parents use a reward system to get training on track—toys, small chocolates and fruit snacks are popular choices. Rewards can definitely work, but the experts warn not to go too crazy with them. “Don’t give rewards too often, because then they don’t carry much value to the child,” Barone says. So instead of a reward for every little victory, set up a chart that tracks successes—never failures—with smiley faces or stickers. “I used marshmallows for the first three days,” says Bumpie tnd81. “After that, I gave them only when my daughter remembered and asked.” Even better motivators are the less tangible kind: praise, hugs and kisses. “With tangible rewards, you set up an expectation that the next reward has to be bigger and better,” Stavinoha says.
don’t half-*ss it
“You can’t do it halfway,” says Stavinoha. “It’s being home, near the bathroom, with easy access. Otherwise it won’t work.” If you’re in the checkout line when your child says she has to pee, get to the restroom pronto!
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get negative
Expect challenges (yes, accidents). And avoid negative language. “Punishment inhibits the process,” notes Stavinoha. “It’s not just about teaching your child to use the potty. It’s about how you relate to, teach and motivate your kid.”
Print potty training charts at TheBump.com/pottychart
9/3/14 10:19 AM
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beyond
toddler chore chart
Start small with this basic list of chores. Before you know it, your toddler will clean up after himself and you’ll have a few less things to do (score!).
’s chores
get dressed
make bed
put away toys
pick up dirty clothes
brush teeth
S M T W Th F S 138
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toddler Weaning, toddler toys, starting preschool and more…
We’re both ready. How do I wean my toddler from breastfeeding? Great job for nursing into toddlerhood! The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends breastfeeding for at least a year, but only about 27 percent of moms and babies actually make it that long— you did it! And while it might seem tough to wean now that you’re both so used to breastfeeding, the fact that you’re pros can make this a positive experience. GO SLOWLY If this happens too abruptly, it could cause engorgement for you and could be tough for your toddler to handle. Decrease the duration of each nursing session, or skip one entirely every few days or so. Provide your toddler with plenty of attention while weaning, says Jennifer Ritchie, IBCLC, author of I Make Milk, What’s Your Superpower? DISTRACT Many moms find that if they simply don’t suggest breastfeeding, they can successfully skip a feeding here and there. Don’t sit in the usual chair you would sit in to nurse, and keep her busy with a toy or story during that time. FOCUS ON DAYTIME FIRST You’ll probably find it easier to cut out the daytime feedings before the evening ones. At night, she’s probably come to expect cuddles and breast milk before bed. The nighttime feeding is usually the last to go.
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What’s the best way to deal with my toddler’s bossiness? Some toddlers are born trying to take charge of every situation; others are just passing through a bossy phase. Whichever category your toddler falls into, your goal is to avoid constant power struggles. Starting out with a pattern of arguments, even at the “terrible twos,” can cause a habit that’s hard to break as your child gets older. Start by setting limits without having a lot of emotional reaction, says Kate Roberts, PhD, licensed clinical psychologist in Salem, Massachusetts. Of course, your child’s health, safety and well-being come first, so in some areas—wearing a seat belt or holding hands while crossing the street—you have to be the one in charge. But with other, less important things, pick your battles. For example, if your toddler likes to dictate what she’ll wear each day, let her. Give her a few reasonable outfits to choose from. She may just want to feel she has a role to play in certain situations, and not that she’s always being dragged along. Give her a job: Tell her to count all the blue cars during the ride to day care, Roberts suggests. Letting her have some leeway and control, with a few firm limits, helps her learn what’s important. It will also make the family happier in the long run.
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(
to keep his personal things. Got any nut-free lunch ideas for my Help them learn to settle differences PB&J-loving kid? themselves, Parikh says. Resist stepping As peanut and tree nut allergies increase, into their battles unless their behavior more day cares and preschools are telling is getting out of hand. If and when you do parents to leave the peanut butter at step in, let each child explain why he’s home. Since your kid is a true sandwich angry or upset, encourage them to listen fanatic, sub in sunflower or soy butter to each other, and praise each or flavored cream cheese for one when they begin to talk peanut butter, suggests Jeanabout the problem. nie Gazzaniga-Moloo, PhD, Teach your twins why it’s RD, lecturer in Nutrition and What are some important to trade or take Foods/Dietetics at California good toys for a turns. Once they’ve figured State University, Sacramento. one-year-old? those behaviors out, they’ll And of course, you’ve got Get something have a big leg up when it’s your turkey or ham and that helps with time to head off to playgroups cheese sandwiches. balance and or preschool. But also think outside walking skills, bread: Give him yogurt and What’s the best age for my sliced fruit. Or make wholelike a push toy. child to start preschool? grain pasta sprinkled with Baby’s becoming Most preschools accept kids Parmesan cheese and keep social, so look for as young as age two and it warm in a thermos. He toys for playing go through age six. It’s an might also enjoy hummus with others, like individual decision, and with some pita or crackers. balls or blocks. there’s no single answer, says Board books, Cindy H. Liu, PhD, clinical and My toddler twins are driving musical toys, developmental psychologist, me crazy with their fighting! a dollhouse or Department of Psychiatry, What can I do to keep the figures are also Harvard Medical School. Most twin wars to a minimum? important is your child’s readiCreate separate play stations good bets. ness. Is she okay with saying in your home, so each twin goodbye, being away from you can have something he can be and being away from home? doing without getting in the If she’s really anxious about it, you may be other’s way, suggests Preeti Parikh, MD, better off waiting a year or so until she’s assistant clinical professor of pediatrics at more comfortable. In the meantime, enroll Mount Sinai School of Medicine in New her in “mommy and me” classes to get York City (and mom of twins!). One can her used to group settings. play with building blocks while the other Also, find out what the rules are. Some toots around the train track, for example. preschools have prerequisites, like being Establish personal space in the bedroom potty trained and getting through the day too—even if they share a room. Give each without a midday nap. twin his own storage area or colored box
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Get ready for the toddler stage at TheBump.com/toddler
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Baby Merlin’s Magic Sleepsuit MagicSleepsuit.com
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play & parties Garden State Discovery Museum
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