SOUTHWEST IDAHO JUVENILE DETENTION CENTER

Teaching-Writers Laura Roghaar and Cassandra Padilla

Adam Southwest Idaho Juvenile Detention Center

Closet illed with jars and my jars are illed with events.

You would think the jars are empty, But everything has a value. My value is: priceless. Sometimes, it can be dangerous. My closet is getting full. Jar 1: Mom’s getting paid minimum wages.

Jar 2: She’s working all by herself, 12-hour shits every day like she’s the man of the house. Jar 3: The verbal part. I see the tension. You can talk the way you want but you’re running out of blessings. I’m only 17 but I can and will do some damage. Tired of hearing the sounds of stress. I don’t know how she deals with the pressure. I got some mail last night, It made me sorta happy. Not 100%. You don’t know who your homies are. That’s 100%. I thought this foe was my homie. Backstabbing it is.

People are crooked these days. One day I’ll be out. Can’t wait. I miss you pops. I miss you mom. I’m on a trip. I’m not gone.

ALLEY ABECEDARIAN

Emanuel Southwest Idaho Juvenile Detention Center

Alleys—there’s a lot where I grew up Broken bottles scattered in the alley Cats messing around in the big blue dumpster Dogs barking at something or someone all night Everyone I grew up with ready to get down and ight Family in and out of jail prayin they make bail Grass all dried up and dead House being raided, spiders and bugs all over my bed In and out of juvie Judge O was hella moody Knew one day I would make it out Life was hard, I didn’t write this for the clout Mom stayin up late wondering where I am No clue what I’m doing just hope it doesn’t jam Oicer looking at me, hope he don’t remember who I am Probation’s really hard then I’m locked up once again Quit playin with them Legos so I thought I was a man Ridin with my cousins lowkey wonderin where I am Up hella late tryna make a couple bands Vatos start to trip when I’m cruising through my land War is very likely if you livin where I am X’s all over tagging, see a lot of empty spray cans Young, dumb and reckless, tryin not to get in jams Zig-zagging through my ally yeah I’m lovin where I am

Ethan Southwest Idaho Juvenile Detention Center

Cold summers, blank thoughts and sleepless nights. Always wishing on a prayer cause momma taught me right. Soundless screams and reversed tears. Muled emotions. No chance to escape fear.

Always wishing on a prayer cause momma taught us right. Time never stops with no chance to say goodbye. Muled emotions. No chance to escape fear. Now you’re on to better things whether it’s there or it’s here. Time never stops with no chance to say goodbye. You either ducking or dumping with no way to survive. Now you’re on to better things whether it’s there or it’s here. I patch my pain like a cast. Forever trapped in fourth gear. You either ducking or dumping with no way to survive. Cold summers, blank thoughts and sleepless nights. I patch my pain like a cast. Forever trapped in fourth gear. Soundless screams and reversed tears.

CHATO

Joshua Southwest Idaho Juvenile Detention Center

My dog Chato he always wants food. Follows me everywhere. He’s a big dog. A friendly big dog. He likes people. He barks at everything outside, inside. A friendly, big, loud dog that likes people. Chews on everything he can. Really likes his treats. He’s brown like me.

DEAR, THE DAY IS HOLLOW

Jose Southwest Idaho Juvenile Detention Center

Dear, the day is hollow. The walls stay cold. The light stays on but the sun goes out. I wake to a new day but all’s the same. I walk the halls but never see the streets. So many people, yet so alone. I hear your voice, then the tone. My only freedom is the dreams I see, time goes on but all has stopped. I awake and none has changed, In my head I’m free but the guards remind me: all is taken and none is to keep [for what you see is what I dream]. Are any of us really free?

THE CYCLE

Jace Southwest Idaho Juvenile Detention Center

I get out, I come back. Knock, knock. You want a snack? We got turkey bologna and apples, homie. Alone in my cell contemplating what I should have done well. In my mind I feel so alone. On the outside I act like Al Capone. 148

God, I’m tired of sinning. Why can’t I stop? We all fall short to God, said Grandpop. I get out, I come back. I close my eyes. I see black.

THE OTHER SIDE OF ME

Monte Southwest Idaho Juvenile Detention Center

Like a black cat the evil inside me hides in the dark waiting to break free. I hold it inside me trapping it like a bird in a cage. I can control it for now but when I get mad some of it comes out. I don’t think before I do things and end up regretting it when I calm down, deep down inside. It’s mocking me, saying, “Soon I’ll be free. Just give it some time.” I tell it, “You can’t control me. You will be gone sooner than you think.” So much has changed since the evil inside me came, I don’t like all the things I used to love. I pushed so many people away, even my own family. I like to ight now. I think it is fun. This isn’t me. I’m trying to go back to the way I was. I’m a kind loving person. At least that stayed with me when the evil showed up.

Na’kyha Southwest Idaho Juvenile Detention Center

When you’re old, you realize a lot. Like, I’m fall weather, the leaves gently coming down, ending on the ground. Changing like the sky changes, the way clouds move. The sun and moon change within hours.

Weather rainy, foggy, summer and spring. I change and melt. Warp. The way lowers change depending on the sky and hour. You plant a seed, wait for rain and sun so you can watch it grow. Then lower petals fall to the ground. That once-beautiful lower shrivels up and dies…

The weather changes. What happens in 24 hours changes. It’s always diferent through each passing hour. Our thoughts change like the weather. My cloudy mind. Sun peeking through. My values for loyalty have changed. I was loyal to the wrong people and it broke me, time and again. I decided, inally, to change.

Stop giving my trueness away. Ater change of mind, and change of heart, I will only give the loving of my heart 150

and what’s let of my loyalty to the people who gave it to me. Now, before I die, with happiness inside. I’ll be next to the ones I call mine, with pride. By my side.

IN THIS ONE

Jacob Southwest Idaho Juvenile Detention Center

(before) Me and my mom Beautiful woman Smiling, both of us Piercings in her dimples Make-up Young Black clothes Playground The mall—

(when everything’s a shadow) Old stepdad Serious White shirt Chain Slicked back hair Loves to make things A really trusted person Took me to school every day Having another kid I had to leave Never seeing him again