Michaelmas 2015 Issue 4 by The Cambridge Student

The cycling imperative: Cambridge students must learn that the rules apply to everyone

→ Comment, p.17

www.tcs.cam.ac.uk

“Gross” gap in provisions of travel grants Exclusive: “Serious inequality” between colleges Colm Murphy Investigations Editor

Halloween special:

A flawed production that never quite comes to life

The food, the fun, and the fear

→Part 2, p.6-7

→Part 2, p.2–3

The

29 October 2015 Vol. 17 Michaelmas Issue 4

he Cambridge Student can exclusively reveal a twelvefold inequality in travel grants awarded to students between colleges. The figures have led CUSU to condemn this “gross disparity” and “serious inequality”, but some colleges insist that departmental funds go some way to alleviating the imbalance, and JCR Presidents have called it an “inevitablity of the college system.” An investigation by TCS into levels of expenditure on travel grants by Cambridge colleges has shown that in 2014/15, the highest college spending on undergraduates per student was Trinity College. Trinity spent on average £167.94 on every undergraduate. Newnham came second highest at £130.33. Overall, Trinity spent £119,235.50 on its 710 undergraduates alone. At the other end of the scale, Homerton spent merely £13.80 on each undergraduate student, or £7,606 between its 551 students. When compared with population, this is 12 times smaller than the comparable figure from Trinity. This comes after TCS revealed the inequalities in both scholarship awards and land ownership between the colleges. Trinity came top on both occasions, spending £4.4 million on scholarships and awards and owning £730 million in land assets. Girton spent an average of £20.90 for every undergraduate in 2014/15,

Frankenstein:

whereas Magdalene spent between £19.63 and £28.89 – depending on how much of funds shared between postgraduates and undergraduates went to the latter. For postgraduates, Trinity spent £74,842.62 in 2014/15, and £93,699.74 in 2013/14. Homerton meanwhile spent £15,041 in 2014/15 on travel grants for its postgraduates. Overall in 2014/15, the colleges are fairly evenly spread out. King’s spent £113.52, Fitzwilliam £73.82, Gonville and Caius £26.11, Queens’ £26.05, and St John’s spent just over £25 on each of their undergraduates on average. In 2013/14, Trinity and Newnham also topped the table of travel spending on undergraduates. In that year Trinity spent £164.49 for each undergraduate student, whereas Homerton spent £10.90. However, the sources of funds for travel also vary between colleges. Some, such as Homerton, do not have travel-tied funds. However Trinity College told TCS that their grants were “mostly funded from monies given or left by alumni or other benefactors” and they are “obliged to distribute them in accordance with the original donors’ wishes.” Newnham, when approached by TCS, said: “We are fortunate that we have generous endowment funds available for our students to access.” Continued on page 3 → Editorial Comment page 15 →

Cambridge Student

Cambridge fellows join boycott of Israeli Unis Elsa Maishman News Editor

Ten Cambridge fellows have announced their boycott of Israeli universities, alongside nearly 500 other British academics. Academics from over 70 universities – including Cambridge, Oxford, LSE and UCL – have pledged to not accept invitations to visit Israeli academic institutions, act as referees for them, or take part in events organised or funded by them. However, they will continue to work with individual Israeli academics. The declaration was initially published with 343 signatories as a full page advert in The Guardian on Tuesday 27 October, under the title “commitment by UK scholars to the rights of Palestinians’’. The advert declares that the signatories are “deeply disturbed by Israel’s illegal occupation of Palestinian land, the intolerable human rights violations that it inflicts on all sections of the Palestinian people, and its apparent determination to resist any feasible settlement”. Since its publication over 160 additional academics have added their names to the declaration. Cambridge fellows are 10 of the signatories: Professor Nick Humphrey, Professor Patrick Bateson, Professor Clément Mouhot, Professor Anthony Milton, Dr Maha Abdelrahman, Dr Lorna Finlayson, Dr Waseem Yaqoob, Dr Priyamvada Gopal, Dr Mezna Qato and Nadira Auty. The Cambridge University IsraelPalestine Forum said that “this is an opportunity to hold Israeli universities accountable for their complicity in human rights abuses ... It is hoped that boycotts such as these will dissuade these institutions from conducting research which aids the suppression of the Palestinians and perhaps persuade Israel to return to negotiations with some seriousness towards a nonIn advance of Remembrance Day, thousands of paper poppies were thrown violent solution.” Continued on page 4 → from the top of Great St Mary’s’ tower Image: Great St Mary’s

29 October 2015 • The Cambridge Student

News

Editorial Team 29 October 2015

Volume 17 • Michaelmas Issue 4 www.tcs.cam.ac.uk

Editors-in-Chief Jack May Freya Sanders Art Director Alice Mottram News Editors Stevie Hertz Elsa Maishman Deputy News Editors Will Amor Catherine Maguire Tonicha Upham Investigations Editor Colm Murphy Deputy Investigations Editors Anna Carruthers Olly Hudson Features Editors Magdalen Christie Sammy Love Anthony Bridgen Interviews Editor Chase Caldwell Smith Comment Editors Amelia Oakley Julia Stanyard Grace Murray Columns Editor Audrey Sebatindira Food & Drink Editor Lucy Roxburgh Books Editor Jemima Jobling Music Editor Olivia Fletcher TV & Film Editor Anna Bradley Theatre Editor Tom Bevan Fashion Editor Jessie Mathewson Lifestyle Editors Maddy Airlie Isobel Laidler Sport Editor Paul Hyland Social Media Manager Sydney Patterson Chief Sub-Editors Charlotte Furniss-Roe Megan Proops Sub-Editors Josie Daw Rebecca Martin Hannah Cavender-Deere Directors Jack May Freya Sanders Colm Murphy Sam Rhodes Jemma Stewart

The Cambridge Student takes complaints about editorial content seriously. We are committed to abiding by the Independent Press Standards Organisation rules and the Editors’ Code of Practice enforced by IPSO, and by the stipulations of our constitution. Requests for corrections or clarifications should be sent by email to editor@tcs.cam.ac.uk or by post to The Editor, The Cambridge Student, Cambridge University Students’ Union, 16 Mill Lane, Cambridge, CB3 1LB.

A steward sits on duty outside the Senate House whilst graduation ceremonies took place inside A Cambridge Diary

Martin Bond is a professional photographer. His project A Cambridge Diary, where he posts a portrait photograph from Cambridge online each day, is his own labour of love. It is now in its sixth year, with nearly 2,000 photographs and counting. A Cambridge Diary pictures feature every month on the front cover of Cambridge Magazine, they are the pictures behind the Cambridge Literary Festival and they are seen by thousands of people every day. Follow @acambridgediary on Twitter or like A Cambridge Diary on Facebook.

tcd

• tcd@tcs.cam.ac.uk •

NEWSONLINE

GARDEN PLEASURES

This Diarist was a keen congregation member at Choral Evensong in Gonville & Caius College Chapel last Sunday, where the preacher, Paul Brough, shared an anecdote featuring playwright George Bernard Shaw at a dreary Three Choirs Festival Garden Party. He was approached by another guest, who gestured to a man standing nearby and said: “That man asks if you’re enjoying the party”. Expressing a sentiment with which this Diarist can certainly sympathise, Shaw responded: “My dear fellow, that man is all I’m enjoying”. The Dean’s hearty chuckle suggests she felt similarly.

CU-SU IF YOU WANT TO

With Germaine Greer vs Cardiff ’s Student Union in action, this Diarist enjoyed what Tom Whipple (Times science editor, and alumnus of Churchill College and The Cambridge Student), had to say of Cambridge’s own union: “I loved CUSU: it was somewhere people who you didn’t want to talk to could go, so that you didn’t have to.”

TAKING (FLYING) LIBERTIES

Cambridge’s libertarian darling Madsen Pirie, founder and President of the Adam Smith Institute and Portugal Street resident, has been sighted enjoying himself in the open space of Jesus Green. Spotted on several occasions in

recent weeks, Pirie has frequented the green with a small flying drone with a camera attached to its underbelly. Images of the thinktank guru and his new toys have then been uploaded on social media. The drone is, however, not visible in these photos.

La liberté de l’Union

The Cambridge Union Society’s members’ decision to host Julian Assange, the Wikileaks founder (pictured left), in the unprecedented referendum this week seems not to have been the most exciting thing to happen to this international-limbo-status-enjoying superstar/villian. The latest adventures of the ancient Gaulish hero Asterix have been published this week, entitled (in the English translation) Asterix and the Missing Scroll. In it, Asterix and Obelix happen upon a political activist and reporter by the French name of Doublepolémix. The character spirits away a chapter of the account of the conquest of Gaul, censored by Caesar, and is thus praised. In the English version, this character comes out as Libellus Blockbustus, and bears a striking resemblence to the blond-haired freespeech darling of the Union. This Diarist can only hope his Cambridge cameo is similarly heroic. Front page: CHAD KAINZ, JOHANNES HJORTH, PHILLIP STEWART

The Cambridge Student • 29 October 2015

News

The £4 million college passport Investigation into the multimillion pound travel grant system reveals variations of over £100,000 between colleges Continued from page 1... Trinity’s senior tutor, Professor Catherine Barnard, added that the grants gave students opportunities “they might not otherwise” be able to afford. Homerton Union of Students’ president Ruth Taylor said “the disparity is a necessary evil of the college’s lack of specifically tied endowments.” Harry Gower, Magdalene JCR president, said: “It would seem that the only way to ever avoid a disparity between colleges would be for travel grants to be applied from a central fund, however, due to the college system and the difficulty of tied endowments, this is almost certainly out of the question.” He added that it is “an inevitability of the college system.” CUSU have unequivocally condemned this gap. president Priscilla Mensah told TCS: “Such gross disparities between the colleges is a direct challenge to this University’s assertion that all College provisions, and student experiences, are equal.” She added that it made “CUSU’s fight for equality of opportunity among, and within, the Colleges ... more crucial than ever. “We will continue to pressure the University and the Colleges to stop allowing these serious inequalities to persist.”

viewed as average. Per capita figures are therefore misleading.” They also said that their contribution “lightens the load on faculty and departmental funds, thus allowing more students from

“The disparity is a necessary evil” other colleges to travel than would otherwise be possible.” When asked to clarify if departmental funds fully compensated for the twelve-fold inequality in 2014/15, Trinity were unable to comment further, but said that it was “pleased to support Collegiate Cambridge through financial contributions”. Trinity JCR were not available when reached for comment. A third year who wished to remain anonymous told TCS: “Everybody knows that there are big disparities between colleges but seeing it in black and white is something different. It’s part of a broader narrative of inequalities between colleges. Still, it’s a bit more complicated than the figures suggest.” She has received a travel grant from Trinity in the past,

but does not attend the College. Homerton declined to comment on whether they believed the disparity between colleges was inevitable or unfair. They said: “Homerton’s provision for student travel, and for student support in general, increased significantly last

£2.1m Amount spent on travel grants for undergraduates overall since 2011/12 year and will increase still further next year.” Homerton spent £5,925 on undergraduates in 2012/13, and £7,606 in 2014/15. However, it is at the bottom of the league tables for the last two years (complied with all available data) and was second last in 2012/13, when those totals are compared to number of students. That year, Sidney Sussex was last with

just under £9.50 per undergraduate. Homerton cited the “College’s Pilkington Travel Awards” which they say support “ambitious journeys all over the world” and spoke of new grants for Year Abroad students. “We will continue to invest in this area.” A spokesperson later told TCS “we want to do much more.” Ruth Taylor, HUS president, said that Homerton “were aware” of the issue. “I think increasing the value of travel grants that the college gives out is an important project to pursue. “However, I think [that] aiding the position of students from low income backgrounds who stand to be affected by the government’s plans to scrap maintenance grants, as well as those who already encounter financial hardship during their time at university, should be top of college’s agenda.” The scrapping of maintenance grants was raised at the most recent CUSU Council meeting. Magdalene College assistant bursar Helen Foord emphasised that the College “concentrates its focus on resourcing teaching and student hardship.” Their JCR President, Gower, told TCS that: “Magdalene is not a rich college and

Homerton spent an average of £13.80 per undergrad in 2014/15 barriers that our students may face. Grants for academic or careerrelated travel are of enormous benefit, particularly for students whose circumstances mean they wouldn’t be able to undertake such projects without assistance.” Girton College were unavailable for comment. Since 2011/12, over £2.1 million has been spent on all Cambridge

£119k

CHRISTOPHER ELISON

Amount spent on travel grants for undergraduates at Trinity in 2014/15 undergraduates for travel, according to available data. Trinity has spent nearly £500,000. Otherwise, £1.9 million has been spent on postgraduates in the University. The College that has spent the least in total on travel grants for undergraduates is Lucy Cavendish at £13,813 since 2011/12, although as a small college it is often middle of the table when compared with number of students, spending an average of £35 per undergraduate in 2014/15. Emmanuel College told TCS that they were unable to provide us the figures as it “doesn’t award any travel grants ... We support students financially in a variety of ways … [and] assess applications for financial support on the basis of their academic or other merits and any travel involved would be coincidental.” St Edmunds also did not hold the figures when approached. Hughes Hall, and St Catharine’s have yet to respond to TCS’s freedom of information request, nearly four weeks after their statutory deadline.

£1.9m Amount of travel grants for postgraduates overall since 2011/12 Cambridge University, which has recently launched a £2 billionn fundraising campaign “Dear World... Yours Cambridge”, currently tells prospective students on their website not to “agonise over choosing a College. They have many more similarities than differences”. When informed by TCS of these latest figures, the University declined to comment. When reached by TCS, a Trinity College spokesperson argued that travel grants were intended for a “wide variety of purposes” including language training, conferences and work experience, so “none could be

prefers instead to focus its resources on our student hardship funds.” At the most recent CUSU Council, the issue of disparities between colleges in hardship funds was raised. A Newnham spokesperson told TCS: “At Newnham, we are committed to addressing financial

Many grants, used for national and international travel, are tied up in specific endowments

Additional reporting: Anna Carruthers and Olly Hudson

29 October 2015 • The Cambridge Student

News

University’s fossil fuel inve Stevie Hertz News Editor

An investigation by Greenpeace has revealed this week that Cambridge University has received £26 million from energy companies in the past five years, £15.5 million in donations and £10.5 million for specific research projects. Reported on Buzzfeed, the investigation showed that the top four UK universities received £89 million together. Ahead of Cambridge, the University of Manchester received the most from energy companies at £27.7 million for research

“Such large funding can and will influence research agendas” projects, but nothing in donations. Imperial College London had accepted £24 million for research projects, mostly from BP and Shell. Under a freedom of information request, Oxford University declared it received significantly less than the top three, at only £11.3 million. However, the total could well be higher, as Oxford could only estimated its donation income. In total, 39 universities responded at least partially to Greenpeace’s request, which in total had recieved £134 million from energy companies. The executive director of Scientists for Global Responsbility, Dr Stuart Parkinson, commented to Buzzfeed after seeing the data, “these figures are very disturbing... they clearly show that leading oil and gas corporations have a major influence of many of the UK’s top universities – both in research and teaching.

“Such large funding can and will influence research agendas, steering them towards fossil-fuel-related R&D rather than urgently needed alternatives. This is very likely to undermine progress in tackling climate change.” The Cambridge student society Zero Carbon commented “the fossil fuels industry has its tentacles wrapped around our University. With £25 million of dirty fossil fuel money pouring into Cambridge University’s coffers, how can it possibly foster an independent research environment? “If our University is serious about its commitment to the future it needs to reclaim its independence and kick these polluters out.” A University spokesman told The Cambridge Student that donations and research funding “are used for a variety of reasons; including addressing advances in fundamental science that underpin technologies that the companies are interested in ... Other motivations for collaborating with Cambridge include increasing the number of students trained

£26 m Amount Cambridge recieved from energy companies with the necessary scientific expertise to work in the energy sector. Energy companies are all working [...] to address the transition to a non-fossil fuel economy.

Cambridge’s work in advanced materials for example is improving batteries [and] energy storage systems.’’ Currently, there are significant research links between the University and energy companies. BP, Shell and EDF sponsor

“Energy companises are all working... to address the transition” the Engineering Society, while BP also sponsors the student-led Projects and Industry Partnership and the BP Institute for Multiphase Flow, which directly looks into oil flow, among other things, including creating clean energy partnerships with universities around the world. BP Group Head of Research and Technology, David Eyton, said “the University has a fabulous track record of creating important knowledge and that is one of the reasons we are investing in Cambridge. As a business, we have to stay competitive and invest in areas that we believe will benefit our shareholders.” The website for the BP Insitute for Multiphase Flow states that “several areas of applied research activities in Cambridge have brought would-class expertise to bear on practical issues that have reaped immediate benefits for BP.” Cambridge University is also currently fundraising for further investment, as part of its £2 billion ‘Hello World… Yours, Cambridge’ campaign. Although the campaign video is directed at individuals, the University also courts corporations. The total University endowment is £2.8 billion, with a further £2.2 billion belonging to colleges. This makes it one of the richest universities in Europe.

Dons in Israel boycott

St Edmund’s disaffiliates from Gr

Continued from page 1...

Elsa Maishman and Sam Rhodes

The declaration states that ‘‘academics, as well as members of civil society, have a moral and practical power which can help shift the dynamics at work in Israel’s relationship with the outside world, and strengthen moves towards equality, freedom and justice for Palestinians.’’ The Cambridge University Israel Society has stated that ‘‘there is simply no excuse to single out Israeli academics and institutions for boycott solely on the grounds of their nationality; this is bigoted and highly discriminatory. It’s tragic that those who put their names to this commitment clearly fail to appreciate the opportunity academia has to build bridges and promote dialogue, the most hopeful means of reaching a peaceful resolution to the IsraeliPalestinian conflict. This boycott is neither just nor conducive to peace; indeed, it is

the complete opposite.’’ In contrast, the Cambridge University Palestine Society has welcomed the pledges, saying that ‘‘boycotts are an effective and essential means of placing pressure on Israel to comply with international law… The pledges made by the academics show that the international community is becoming increasingly aware that negotiations and ‘dialogue’ are simply slogans used by the Israeli government to create the illusion that they want peace whilst allowing them to maintain the status quo.’’ The boycott drew immediate criticism from the British and Israeli governments. The Israeli embassy in London said: “Boycott movements only aim to sow hatred and alienation between the sides, rather than promoting coexistence.’’ Several prominant figures, including JK Rowling, spoke out against such boycotts in a letter to The Guardian last week.

St Edmund’s Combination Room has voted to leave the Graduate Union with a margin of 38 votes. 69 people voted in favour of the question “should St Edmund’s CR disaffiliate from the Cambridge University Graduate Union?”, while 31 voted to remain. There were 14 blank votes. The St Edmund’s CR constitution states that it needed the agreement of 10% of the student body in order to disaffiliate, which this year is 54 students. Brendan Mahon was also elected president of the CR. He commented that they disaffiliated as they felt the GU was not good value for money, saying “the GU costs us £1,500 per annum, which we feel is a rip off, frankly. Our CR committee feels we can provide better services to our members if we control that money than if we hand it over to the GU.”

He continued, “another major decision to leave was the state of the GU as it stands, the election was a shambles and it doesn’t have a president. It has never submitted accounts to the Charities Commission and who knows which of its competing constitutions is even the one in force?”

“The GU costs us £1,500 per annum, which we feel is a rip off, frankly” Last year, as The Cambridge Student reported, the GU was mired in controversies over its failure to maintain Charity status and questionable running of elections. These included the announcement of the wrong candidate as GU president for 2016, leading to a no-confidence motion against President van Gijn. Van Gijn resigned her position as president one day before her term was due to conclude.

The Cambridge Student • 29 October 2015

News

estment links condemned TARAS KALAPUN

Global pressure to divest Stevie Hertz News Editor Fossil fuels and universities also made headlines this week, as the Massachusetts Institute of Technology (MIT) announced it would not divest its endowments and will continue to invest in non-renewable energy companies. The president of MIT, L. Rafael Reif, said: “We believe we have greater power to build on such momentum, not by distancing ourselves from fossil fuel companies, but by bringing them closer to us,” also defending taking research funding from energy companies. The divestment movement has taken hold in universities throughout the United States. Last year, Harvard students blockaded University buildings, while students at Tufts University, also in Boston, held a 55-hour sit in and 19 students at Yale were arrested following an on campus protest. Around 40 universities and colleges have divested from fossil fuels. The University of Cambridge is currently undertaking a wide-ranging investigation into how the University’s endowment is invested, to make it more “environmentally and socially responsible”. This includes looking into divesting from fossil fuels. The results will be announced in May 2016. Presently, the University is pledged to conduct business with “selflessness”, however, its Statement of Investment Responsibility, last updated in 2009, says that “there are circumstances ... when the University may balance against its primary responsibility considerations of the ethical

nature of investments.” Positive Investment Cambridge, a student society involved in the investigation, told TCS earlier this month that student members “seem optimistic about the process.” Zero Carbon, a student society, said: “80% of fossil fuel reserves need to stay in the ground to avoid the worst of climate

40 Universities and colleges in America that have divested from fossil fuels change, so these stocks will be worthless the moment governments start making serious climate policy. “Our University has an amazing opportunity to the take the lead on this ... it’s not a choice of morals versus money – divestment is a no-brainer on both counts.” This week, Cambridge city council has announced that it supports divestment from fossil fuels, with Marcus Gehring, a Liberal Democrat councillor, telling Cambridge News, “Divestment will not solve climate change, we all know that. But divestment sends a very important commercial signal and gives an instutional framework for discussions.”

Editorial Comment page 15 →

raduate Union Uni campaign’s Starkey video condemned Brendan Kelly The Yours, Cambridge campaign video has been denounced by the CUSU BME (Black and Minority Ethnic) Campaign for featuring historian David Starkey. The video, which was launched on 20 October, is aimed at prospective donors to the £2 billion campaign. In a statement on their Facebook page, the CUSU BME campaign said “In the past, Starkey has made explicitly racist remarks in the media and is therefore not a suitable representative for a university that should be welcoming students from diverse racial, social and economic backgrounds.” During the London riots in 2011, Starkey was critiscised after an appearance on Newsnight when he said “the problem is the whites have become black ... a particular sort of violent, destructive, nihilistic, gangster culture has become the fashion.”

“In the past, Starkey has made explicitly racist remarks”

The BME campaign statement continued: “Although Dear World… Yours, Cambridge promotes the University’s access initiatives, these are set back by the inclusion of David Starkey in the campaign video.” In response to these criticisms, a University spokesperson commented to The Cambridge Student, “The video includes a number of alumni who wished to participate in the film to demonstrate their gratitude and commitment to Cambridge. David Starkey is a prominent historian who studied at Cambridge.” They went on to say “We appreciate that he is an academic who has made controversial statements in the past. However, in the video, he is representing his affection for the University and its values, which are made clear in the film.” The campaign video also features the Cambridge Africa programme, which provides scholarships and mentoring for

African students, also featured in the video, however they did not speak. A ‘fixed’ version of the video has been created, which has re-edited the video to feature Starkey’s comments on Newsnight. At the time of writing, it had 2,300 views. Following Starkey’s comments on Newsnight, Ed Miliband, then the leader of the Labour party, said “they are racist comments, frankly”. Writing later in The Telegraph, Starkey argued that his statements had been distorted and that “[he] was accused of condemning all black culture”, which was unfair. Starkey attended Fitzwilliam College, where he received a First at undergraduate, studied for a PhD and became a fellow. He then went on to lecture at the London School of Economics until 1998. He ws appointed a CBE in 2007 for “services to History” and is an ardent supporter of gay rights.

29 October 2015 • The Cambridge Student

College Watch

Images: Jessica McHugh

Text: Will Amor

Tit Hall

Clare

Pembroke

Girton

Trinity Hall is honouring its former graduate student and current Caius fellow, Professor Stephen Hawking, by naming a room after him. The seminar room looks over the Latham Lawn in the College, which itself sits above the river. Hawking studied for his PhD at the College in the 1960s, recently depicted in the film The Theory of Everything. The professor opened the room himself, hoping that the “next generation” would “gain inspiration from working in this space”. However, the room is also available for private hire, so how much use students at Tit Hall will get from it is unknown. This is the latest in a series of attempts by colleges to prostitute Hawking’s fame for the benefit of their balance sheets. Caius’ Stephen Hawking Building on West Road was designed as much for conference renting as for student accommodation, while the College also displays a gaudy image of the professor in front of its main site to ensnare tourists. Hawking also featured in the “Yours, Cambridge” campaign video, which is attempting to raise £2 billion for the University as a whole.

Anthony Grabiner, Master of Clare and Peer of the Realm, has resigned the Labour whip in the House of Lords. The barrister was ennobled by Tony Blair in 1999, but is now sitting as a crossbencher to protest against the direction Labour leader Jeremy Corbyn is taking the party in. He is the second Labour peer to distance himself from the Islington MP, following former health minister Lord Warner. Grabiner graduated from the LSE in 1966, before starting his legal career. He was appointed a Queen’s Counsel, which is reserved for outstanding advocates. The current University chancellor, Lord Sainsbury, is a Labour peer, however he has not commented on his colleague’s defection. The chancellor is not the only political entity in Cambridge with whom Grabiner has contact: former Cambridge MP Dr Julian Huppert is also a fellow at Clare. Unlike Sainsbury, however, Huppert is a Lib Dem. Astute historians will remember that Cambridge has a long history of political affiliation, with figures as distinct as Oliver Cromwell and William Pitt representing the town and University in parliament.

Alan Rogers, the IT director at Pembroke College, has gained notoriety after students at the College sent him a barrage of emails complaining about the poor WiFi coverage. On a Facebook group, residents in several different areas of the college bemoaned the patchy wireless internet available, with those affected being encouraged to email Mr Rogers detailing their problems. They complained about the negative effect it was having on their study, or when streaming iPlayer. Anushan Fernando has been using the internet blackout to beat his high score on Google Chrome’s offline dinosaur jump game. However, criticisms flared when students found that their concerns were either being ignored or dismissed by Mr Rogers. An email from the College’s JPC president Will Popplewell noted that the senior tutor is ‘going to encourage continued efforts’ to solve the wifi crisis. The email also highlighted attempts to improve communication between the students and college, as the president pithily summarised: “emailing Alan Rogers is neither effective, responsive, nor efficient”.

The theme of Girton College’s 2016 Spring Ball has been revealed as Equinox. Specifically, the ball will take inspiration from the “ancient lost worlds of Central and South America”. This has drawn criticism from some students for appropriating those cultures, especially as it was European conquistadores who eradicated many of those ‘worlds’. Despite its critics, the ball has sold out in all categories of tickets, ranging from the standard ticket costing £105 to the dining ticket at £145. Emmanuel College was pressured to change its May Ball theme in 2009 from a British imperial theme after many students at the college felt that glamourising colonialism and upper-class wealth was not becoming of Cambridge in the 21st century. Whether or not the Girton committee will feel obliged to alter the theme remains unknown, however it is worth noting that the theme is inaccurate as the vernal equinox in 2016 is on 20 March, rather than the 11 March date set for the ball. Unless, of course, Girton really is in another time zone.

The Cambridge Student • 29 October 2015

News

Africa partnership celebrated by University Vice Chancellor Catherine Maguire Deputy News Editor The Vice-Chancellor, Professor Sir Leszek Borysiewicz has praised the University’s Cambridge-Africa Programme, declaring it “embedded in the University’s DNA”. Speaking on Cambridge-Africa Day on 23 October, the ViceChancellor hailed the programme’s research initiatives, describing their “phenomenal” development. The Cambridge-Africa Programme was born of a number of individual collaborations between researchers in Africa and Cambridge. The programme describes itself as a “working partnership between the University of Cambridge and several African universities and institutes, which supports the training of African doctoral and post-doctoral researchers”. The programme’s website states that it aims to “strengthen Africa’s own capacity for a sustainable research and mentoring culture”. The founder and current director of the programme, professor David Dunne, voiced his support for what will be “a core part of the University’s work”, but said that “there is an insufficiency of internationally competitive researchers to mentor and train the young talent, and to accelerate Africa’s success”. He added: “The Cambridge-Africa Programme aims to tackle that mentorship gap, while avoiding the dependency and loss of indigenous talent that so often occurs when better opportunities are available outside of

Africa to African researchers.” The Chancellor and Professor Dunne delivered speeches on the second annual Cambridge-Africa Day, marked by a series of addresses held at St John’s College. Notable speakers included Professor Ian Goodfellow, who spoke of the fight against Ebola in West Africa and Dr Monique Nsanzabaganwa, vice-governor of the National Bank of Rwanda, who stressed the need for changes in Africa “to be told by voices

“Systematic and genuine efforts at deepening intellectual efforts”

that have credibility and knowledge”. African Society of Cambridge University (ACSU) commented that “We respect and applaud the work that the [Cambridge-Africa] Program medoes and its systematic and genuine efforts at deepening the intellectual relationships between Cambridge and African scholars and academics.” The society added “ASCU also appreciates that there is a lot of work to be done on that front, but is encouraged by the fact that Cambridge-Africa is really working on problem-solving with African academics.” NEW FACES NEW VOICES RWANDA

A £512,000 study has been organised by Highways England, to look into the potential of upgrading road links between Cambridge, Oxford and Milton Keynes. The analysis, one of six similar investigations across the UK, will not only examine traffic flow and infrastructure, but secondary causes of congestion, like housing growth; this could lead to the development of an ‘Oxford-Cambridge Expressway’. If plans for this go ahead, improvements will be made to existing roads between the two university towns, with the possibility of an extension of the expressway to the A34 as far as the M4. Extra lengths of road may also be built at specific points, including

Warwick rowers strip off for the good of society Interest in transferring to Warwick skyrocketed in the TCS offices after the university’s rowers promoted their new nude calendar. A video on Vimeo informs the viewer that the money raised by selling the calendar will be donated to Sport Allies, an organisation which works to eradicate homophobia in sport. Drawing that information out of the video proved challenging, however, as the sight of eight extremely well-toned and totally unclothed men had a tendency to distract. The team achieved international recognition for their naked 2014 calendar, which was named Charity Calendar of the Year. For the sake of charities worldwide, we hope that more groups of exceptionally handsome men photograph themselves without clothes.

The real horror of Halloween: pumpkins going to waste The Cambridge Pumpkin Rescue Festival has been launched as an urgent intervention ahead of Halloween to prevent food waste. This critical issue of families buying pumpkins merely to carve and not to eat has forced environmental charity Hubbub into action by throwing workshops and activities to educate the Cambridge population. The thrust of the appeal is to show local people how to maximise the use of their pumpkins by eating its entrails and reusing the carcass. The festival includes food events centred on recovered pumpkin flesh, such as pumpkin high tea and mass soups. Hubbub points out that 18,000 tonnes of pumpkin goes to waste each year. Only a third of people who buy a pumpkin at Halloween plan to eat it.

New university professorship built with Lego

£500k study for Expressway to the Other Place Jack McKinn

NEWS BULLETIN

between the M1 at Milton Keynes and the M40 near Oxford. Andrew Jones, road minister, commented: “Roads are key to our nation’s prosperity. “For too long they have suffered from under investment. “That is why as part of our long-term economic plan we are investing a record £15 billion in our roads programme. “Improved road links between Oxford and Cambridge will allow hardworking families to have better access to jobs, shops and leisure facilities.” Jack May, a third-year English student and regular OxfordCambridge commuter, commented: “This road link is a very complex issue. On the one hand, it’s a huge step forward for connectivity in

“Roads are key to our nation’s prosperity”

the region, and will bring together the two true powerhouse cities of the south of England, making the ‘golden triangle’ of London, Oxford, and Cambridge a closer reality. “That being said, this road link should not be the priority. Repeated studies have shown that more and better road links only lead to more cars on the road, causing more congestion in the historic city centres of both places, and only furthering the damaging environmental effects of our rampant use of fossil fuel-guzzling vehicles. “It would be much more sensible to prioritise the rail link between the two, and to increase public transport links between the station and the city centre in both Cambridge and Oxford.” The study will be completed by Autumn 2016.

The Lego Foundation has donated £4 million to Cambridge to establish a Professor of Play. This professorship will oversee the new Centre for Research on Play in Education, Development and Learning. This new centre hopes to answer questions about the role of play in childhood development. This is not the first collaboration between the University and the Lego Foundation: the Department of Engineering uses Lego bricks which, the Foundation notes, ‘allows for a large degree of play, experimentation and freedom’. Presumably there is little difference between building a Lego house and a bridge. The Fitzwilliam Museum also used the bricks to repair an Egyptian mummy case in 2012.

“Spate” of thefts from libraries by false philanthropists An email sent to all Economics students has warned them of a “spate of thefts from public areas such as libraries.” The email informs students of petty criminals posing as charity workers to rob items. The false philanthropists place leaflets over mobile phones and wallets on tables and chat to the student about their presumably worthy cause, using that as a distraction to steal the items. Although security patrols have increased, students have been warned to be ever vigilent. One fresher economist was not concerned with the spate of thefts, encouraging vigilance of common sense and said to “stop talking to random people” and focus on your work.

Ap O pl ct y ob be er fo 31 re st !

What are lectures like? How easy is it to make friends? Is there a Cambrid ge ‘type’? Can anyone ﬁt in there? Could I study at Cambridge? What are

SHOW A SIXTH FORMER THE REAL CAMBRIDGE Every year CUSU brings over 300 state-educated Year 12s from schools and families with little experience of higher education to Cambridge for three days. They stay at a college and shadow a current undergraduate to lectures, supervisions and exclusive social events put on by societies. The whole trip is funded by CUSU, the Colleges and the University, and really helps to address students' misconceptions of higher education - and Cambridge!

2016 SCHEME DATES • Thursday 21st - Saturday 23rd January • Thursday 28th - Saturday 30th January • Thursday 4th - Saturday 6th February

RECRUITING NOW! You can volunteer for the scheme between 1st October and 31st October 2015

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The Cambridge Student • 29 October 2015

News

“Cruel” cuts to council budget

NEWS BULLETIN

Elsa Maishman News Editor

The new James Dyson Building for Engineering was officially opened when the inventor’s brother, Tom Dyson, poured a bottle of Elgoods Cambridge Bitter onto its roof. This atrocious waste of potable beer commemorates the new £13.3 million development. The new building will host postgraduate students and aid research into engineering problems, such as electric cars and smart infrastructure. The new building is located on Fen Causeway, alongside the existing department building. Whether or not students will be afforded a favourable press release from the department if they pour alcohol over the Dyson Building remains unknown.

County council announces new cuts in bid to save £100 million over five years Cambridgeshire county council has proposed a series of new cuts in the wake of government budget reductions. The largest of these is a cut of almost £10 million to its care budget, which supports vulnerable adults, including those with mental health issues. Funding has also been withdrawn from some libraries, which could force them to close if the community does not take them on. The mobile library service will also be removed, saving £160,000. Cuts are also planned to children’s centre funding and looked after children’s budgets.

£171,000 willl also be saved by withdrawing funding for lollipop men and women. Other plans include replacing rising bollards with CCTV cameras to save £50,000 and ending concessionary bus fares, to save £125,000. The proposals will be finalised at next year’s full county council budget meeting. The number of roads gritted in icy conditions will be reduced by a third, and on-street parking charges will be increased by at least 20%. Daniel Zeichner, Labour MP for Cambridge, has spoken out against what he called the ‘‘colossal and cruel Conservative cuts that will devastate the lives of many people

‘‘What is being described sounds like a third world country’’

JAMES BOWE

in Cambridge.’’ He continued: ‘‘Cambridge is a world class city, yet what is being described sounds like a third world country with roads not being gritted in icy conditions whilst funding is slashed from our libraries and children’s centres.’’ These proposals come after recent announcements that the council will switch off many streetlights in the city centre between midnight and 6am from 1 April 2016. In defence of the decision to switch off streetlights, the council told The Cambridge Student: ‘‘If we do not find further ways to save money we will have to make deeper cuts from services such as frontline social care looking after the most vulnerable in our society.’’ The council said it had to save £41 million next year and £100 million over the next five years. Conservative councillor Steve Count told Cambridge News: ‘‘the simple fact is that it is starting to hit at the front and that must inevitably include vulnerable people... We don’t believe that we are putting people directly at risk, but what we are forced to do is actually take more risks in the way that we deliver our services.’’ A second-year student commented: ‘‘Unfortunately these cuts are going to make life much harder for a lot of people. However, it’s quite problematic for the MP to compare Cambridge to a third-world country because the roads won’t be gritted.’’

Disabled Students Campaign rejects Singer Stevie Hertz News Editor An event this week featuring ethicist Peter Singer has been denounced by the CUSU Disabled Students Campaign. Singer is a utilitarian philosopher and has previously stated that it can be morally acceptable to euthanise disabled babies. The event was held on Tuesday night, and organised jointly by Giving What We Can: Cambridge and 80,000 Hours: Cambridge. In a statement released on their Facebook page, the CUSU Disabled Students Campaign stated, “an approach to charity that reaches the ‘logical’ conclusion that disabled people would be better off not existing is not an achievement. Eradication is not a kindness. Disabled people do not need help in dying; we deserve assistance in living” The statement continued “disabled people should not have to justify

their existence in opposition to gross academic self-indulgence packaged as charity ... This is what charity without representation looks like; this is the danger of playing the role of saviour at the expense of the saved.” However, Giving What We Can: Cambridge and 80,000 Hours: Cambridge, responded that the event did not feature Singer’s opinions on disabilty but rather on global poverty. Further, they said that the organisations do not “endorse the views that the Disabled Students Campaign has taken issue with ... We understand that Peter Singer is a controversial thinker. However, he is also an influential and widelyrespected academic ... We hope that people feel that they can simply listen to his most important call to action — that many of us can do much more to help those living in extreme poverty.” Singer has previously stated that his aim is increase the status of animals,

Singer believes it can be morally acceptable to euthanise disabled infants

not decrease that of humans and that many people who criticise him have taken quotes out of context. Singer is currently on the advisory board of Academics Stand Against poverty, a network of people in education who use academic resources to help eradicate poverty. He is also a professor at Princeton University. Giving What We Can: Cambridge has previously come under fire for orgainsing the event Slum in the Cellars: Poverty Simulation. The event planned to transform “Clare College cellars into a run-down oppressive slum” but was quickly cancelled. One second-year student commented “I struggle to understand what Singer could possibly have had to say that rendered him an attractive speaker in the eyes of the Giving What We Can and 80,000 Hours committees. To be honest, it seems to me perhaps Giving What We Can needs to have something of a rain-check.”

Cries over spilt beer on new £13m Engineering building

St Catz’ Kittens claw back ‘sporting society’ title Students of St Catharine’s College recieved an email this week telling them that what they formerly believed was their college drinking society, the Kittens, was in fact a ‘sporting society’. Due to a new constitution, the Kittens will no longer have initiations into the society, but rather membership will be given based on sporting prowess. All Blues, Half Blues and those who have “given an outstanding contribution to college sports” will be entitled to membership – as long as they buy a Kittens Club tie.In the email sent to students, the president of the Kittens, James Digby said that they intended to “rethink what a sporting society looks like in contemporary Cambridge” by “promot[ing] a new ethos.”

Calls versus balls: evolutionary trade-off for howler monkey New Cambridge research has revealed an evolutionary ‘‘trade-off ’’ for male howler monkeys: the bigger a male’s vocal organ, and the deeper and more impressive roar they are capable of, the smaller their testes and the less sperm they can produce. Dr Jacob Dunn, who led the study said: ‘‘when it comes to reproduction you can’t have everything.’’ The findings support Darwin’s assertion that ‘‘The whole organism is so tied together that when slight variations in one part occur ... other parts become modified.” The research was publicised by the University in a recent tweet, asking followers “what do you look for in a howler monkey? Favourite for calls, retweet for balls.’’

Punting heart of Cambridge punctured by riverside vandals Two punts belonging to a Cambridge tour company have been sunk near Garret Hostel Lane. Their owner, Christian Jucksch, told Cambridge News that the punts had been made by a friend at £5,500 each, so were very dear to him. Repairing the boats could cost as much as £1,000. Jucksch found that holes had been punched into the punts, flooding them. As an independent company, these punts were the only source of income for Mr Jucksch and his colleagues. Cambridge life will not be the same with one less punt tout blocking King’s Parade.

29 October 2015 • The Cambridge Student

Features

When the Halloween dress goes unfortunately wrong Jack McMinn

h, the Internet – it’s both wonderful and terrifying. It can help you get out of a pickle every once in a while, but it can also get you in various other semi-fermented vegetables. Buying stuff online is a particularly risky process: there’s a certain element of faith you’ve got to have that the website you’re handing over your bank details to will actually send you what you want, at a convenient time, in a convenient amount of time. Sure enough, there are victims of the system, in short, cocking up, and I am one of this hallowed number. So gather around the fire, children (that’s a metaphor – please do not set your newspaper on fire), and hear the ripping yarn of how I got screwed over by the internet. My high school was organising leavers’ photos and, as usual, there would be an ‘Informal’ – you could wear whatever wacky clothes you wanted and stand alongside your classmates in one final act of childishness before the inevitable cynicism of adult life set in. I was staying in a corridor at the time with four of my closest friends, and, after some discussion, we decided that we should go as a troupe of gangsters – it was either that or Spongebob characters, which no one had the time or budget for. Now, I may be an utterly ripped hunk now, but back then (ie six months ago) I wasn’t exactly the manliest. Thus, being someone far more likely to be looking down the barrel of a gun than operating it, the joke arose that I should go as a body bag alongside the gangsters. Sure enough,

“This is not how it looked online.”

I looked like a bizarre hybrid between a bin liner and a black pudding

Amazon had just the fancy dress for this scenario and, a few keystrokes later, it was ordered and on its way. The package duly arrived, and I made the mistake of keeping it wrapped up. I didn’t want it getting ruined – there couldn’t be any problems on the big day. The actual problem occurred when I opened the package on the morning before the photo, and saw that I had bought, essentially, the worst fancy dress costume in the world. It was essentially a giant black suit cover – a bizarre hybrid between a bin liner and a black pudding. It looked nothing like a body bag. No one would get the joke. Morning break was thus spent up at the DT department, desperately trying to make the costume look like its intended corpse receptacle. One friend suggested putting police tape all around it, but with the absence of said accessory in the workshop, he set about cutting out long bands of yellow card. It wouldn’t be enough. We had a minute left until the photo. In a panic, I grabbed a piece of cardboard, scratched a message on it in black marker and sprinted off. There are still copies of that photo floating about. If you look across the sea of faces, dressed up as everything from Smurfs to sandwiches, you’ll find, up at the top right, Sammy Love Features Editor four well-dressed gangsters, brandishing their Tommy guns enthusiastically. And ne might think an institution there, standing amongst them, is someone as renowned as Cambridge wearing a large black bin liner, covered would surely not indulge in in fake police tape, and holding up a such superstitious nonsense as to believe cardboard sign saying ‘This is meant to be in ghosts and ghouls. Yet Britain’s longest a body bag. Sorry’. running paranormal investigation group, EDITRIXIE imaginatively named The Ghost Club, was in fact founded by Trinity fellows in 1855, with Charles Dickens reportedly being one of its earliest members. Indeed, delving into Cambridge’s murky past reveals the University’s history is plagued with supernatural encounters. The most woeful victim is certainly Peterhouse, where an exorcist has been summoned on no less than three occasions. The first took place in the 18th century, to banish a poltergeist from a student’s room. Another occurred in the 1960s to expel a ‘dark shadowy figure’ who since the 1700s had been spotted crouching atop the stone gate of St Mary the Less church cemetery. Rumour had it this phantom convinced students to take their own lives and there did seem a grim tendency for students whose room overlooked the cemetery to commit suicide. The exorcism was successful and the mysterious figure was never seen again. In 1997 a priest again had to be summoned after another ghost took up residence. It was thought to be the spirit of former Peterhouse bursar, Francis Dawes, who had committed suicide in 1789 by

Cambridge’s G O

hanging himself from the bell ropes in a turret connecting the dining hall and the combination room. After six sightings in the space of a year, some college staff refused to enter the combination room. Following this trend, Corpus Christi

Peterhouse have summoned an exorcist on no less than three occassions! students resorted to attempting an exorcism themselves in 1904 to banish the ghost of Dr Henry Butts. An old master of the College, he had looked after the

Part 2

The Cambridge Student 29 October 2015

The

Spooky Special We celebrate Halloween with recipes, nail art and a creepy playlist

Breathing new life into ballet A shopperâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s guide to Mill Road Happley ever after: Apple day

5 8 9

29 October 2015 • Part 2 • The Cambridge Student

Culture

Screaming with frustration: The stupidest Top Five creepy things people have done in horror movies Halloween reads Jack McMinn

t is a well known fact that people in horror movies are idiots, to the extent that their lack of awareness of how to assess simple situations boggles the average moviegoer. A lot of the time, characters simply have to be utter cretins avoid the fight or flight response and make an entertaining movie. Some of the worst movies of all time have been horror movies – the characters in these productions do stupid things not through dramatic necessity, but blind incompetence on how the medium of film should actually function. Here are three of my personal favourites. Troll 2: Eating Green Sludge Despite the name, the main villains are in fact rubber-masked troupes of goblins. However, these goblins can only kill and eat victims after they have first been converted into plant matter after eating magical green sludge. Throughout the movie, people are axed off solely because they feel the need to eat food soaked through with disgusting slime – for example, an entire family stumbles upon a roast dinner drenched with the stuff and almost get themselves killed by deciding to make it their Sunday lunch. In a way, getting turned into a plant and eaten by a pack of goblins must be somewhat of a relief, because at least you can rest easy with the knowledge that the genes governing your utter idiocy can’t spread to the next generation. THEFEARCHAMBER VIA YOUTUBE

Jemima Jobling Books Editor Birdemic: Defending yourself with coathangers A sweeping epic with the budget of a ten-year-old’s YouTube video. In this twisted alternate future, birds have become murderous killing machines due to global warming. In a rather infamous scene, a swarm of bloodthirsty eagles attacks a motel (which, due to the aforementioned budget, consists of them hovering awkwardly about the building and staring at the heroes through the glass.) Instead of staying inside the motel until the police arrive, our plucky protagonists pile outside and attempt to fend off the marauding creatures by pathetically waving coat hangers about in the air. Prometheus: Being oblivious to your surroundings Even big budget movies have blistering levels of idiocy. In the climax of Ridley Scott’s Prometheus for example, two astronauts flee from a slowly toppling spaceship in the same direction in which it is falling, rather than moving about twenty metres to the right and guaranteeing escape from an extra-terrestrial domino (the toy, not the pizza chain). These moronic moments do offer a certain element of charm. They offer light relief in stressful films and are wrapped up in our expectations of the genre. So go forth, horror movies, and continue being utterly brainless. FRESHMOVIETRAILERS VIA YOUTUBE

SILVENHAYAMUN VIA YOUTUBE

Horrorstör – Grady Hendrix This is a different kind of horror story. Bizarrely set in Ikea’s fictional rival Swedish furniture super-store, Orsk, Hendrix’s book may look like a catalogue but it reads is a delightful alternative to the classic ghost story. Expect frightening apparitions, as well as some even more petrifying descriptions of American capitalism. The Shining – Stephen King An obvious oldie but goodie, if you haven’t read this then you really must. King’s novel is much scarier than the film, in my rather unpopular opinion, containing scenes and details that failed to make it in to Kubrick’s final cut, and is utterly brilliant for having these. The Woman in Black – Susan Hill You’ve probably seen the Daniel Radcliffe film version of The Woman in Black but why not pick up Susan Hill’s original novel this Halloween? Full of all the same Victorian ghoulishness and creepy young children, it is praised as a classic ghost story for a very good reason. The Shunned House – H. P. Lovecraft This novel tells the story of a man and his uncle investigating an abandoned building late at night, suspecting supernatural forces might be at work. It’s suitably lovecraftian in its trippy style and is satisfyingly full of monsters and ghouls. The Secret Window – Stephen King I couldn’t resist another from the master of horror. The Secret Window is fantastic. Adapted into a glorious, grungy 2004 film starring Johnny Depp, this lesser-known King story is in no way lesser in plot. It follows a (surprise surprise) troubled, isolated writer who makes an instant and threatening enemy in his new neighbourhood.

David Lynch: Music, meditation and monstrosity SAM HOWZITT

Jack Whitehead

or anyone who has ever seen a David Lynch film, the idea of relaxation and meditation is probably an alien concept; it is, after all, hard to reconcile quietude with what one reviewer described as “a beguiling combination of the cosmic and the mundane, the surreal and an abnormally normal-seeming normal”. If this seems meaningless, you’re probably not far off the mark. This is not to say that Lynch’s only intention is to not have one. Far from it, Jonathan Shear writes in The Experience of Meditation: mantras used in the TM technique are devoid of meaning associated with any language, and are used for their mental sound value alone. It is this idea of ‘the sound itself ’ that has had a profound impact on Lynch’s production of the visual image, whether conscious or not. This idiomatic use of sound, often using registers that makes the listener both hear and feel the limits of their sonic perception, stems from Eraserhead (1977), where Lynch worked with sound designer Alan Splet to create the film’s distinctive audio, which essentially presages the dark ambient music genre. Characterised by constant industrial sounds providing low-level ambience, and organic noise, the sound of this film is alienating and unnerving. It is made an element

in its own right. Blue Velvet (1986) continued this trend, with Badalamenti describing his own work on the film’s unsettling audio as “something in the middle that kind of rubs wrong, and is maybe even mildly dissonant”. Lynch’s films frequently present two opposing sides and show the intrigue of what is underneath; thus his use of music as medium is key. Not only this, but just as sound focuses attention in the mantra meditation, so too does it heighten the audience’s senses in Lynch’s cinema, allotting a central position to the ear, and in some places making his abstract imagery more concrete. Whether it’s cool jazz, comprising lightly brushed percussion and pulsing bass to enhance the masculinity of on-screen finger-snappers, or airy reverb-laden vocals and synthesised piano, music is used to conjure the city of Twin Peaks itself. Top this all off with Rebekah Del Rio’s eerie lip-syncing to an acapella version of ‘Llorando’ in Mulholland Drive (2001), during which she faints as the song continues; music becomes as much about focusing our attention as it does about the visual image it focuses on. Lynch’s Man from Another Place comments, “Where we come from” – and where Lynch’s productions take us to – “there is always music in the air.”

The Cambridge Student • Part 2 • 29 October 2015

Culture

Halloween playlist: 23 songs to celebrate the spooky enigma Olivia Fletcher Music Editor VALERIE EVERETT

Eight scary short stories Want to dip your toe in the ghost story world this Halloween but don’t have much time to spare? Then sink your fangs into these shorter, but undoubtedly no sweeter stories to whet your bloodthirsty appetite. The Signal-Man – Charles Dickens A railway signal-man tells of a spectre that appears just before tragic accidents occur on the tracks. The Mezzotint – M R James One of three stories in a collection starring naive Cambridge academics and creepy, moving paintings. (There’s also apparently a guy who reads this collection out in an old chapel in Cambridge every winter). C. T. TATMAN

he 23 enigma is the belief, held most famously by William S. Burroughs, that most incidents and events are directly related to the number 23 – a number considered lucky, unlucky, sinister and strange. It seems fitting, therefore, that we should provide 23 songs with which to bewilder and delight your guests come Halloween, or simply as a soundtrack to which to shiver in fearful solitude as the whisper of 23 echoes through Cambridge’s cobbled streets... 1. ‘Trick or Treat’ – Otis Redding 2. ‘Witchcraft’ – Frank Sinatra 3. ‘Season of the Witch’ – Donovan 4. ‘Spooks’ – Louis Armstrong, Gordon Jenkins 5. ‘Purple People Eater’ – Sheb Wooley 6. ‘The Blob’ – The Five Blobs

7. ‘Skeleton in the Closet’ – Louis Armstrong 8. ‘(You’re the) Devil in Disguise’ – Elvis Presley 9. ‘Evil’ – Howlin’ Wolf 10. ‘Memphis Minnie’ – Haunted Blues 11. ‘Attack of the Killer Tomatoes’ – The Big Phat Band 12. ‘I Put a Spell on You’ – Screamin’ Jay Hawkins 13. ‘Black Magic Woman’ – Fleetwood Mac 14. ‘Curse of Milhaven’ – Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds 15. ‘Murder on the Dancefloor’ – Sophie Ellis Bextor 16. ‘Le Freak’ – CHIC 17. ‘Spooky’ – Dusty Springfield 18. ‘(Ghost Riders) In the Sky’ – Johnny Cash 19. ‘Ghosts’ – Laura Marling 20. ‘The Ghost of Tom Jones’ – Bruce Springsteen 21. ‘Lullaby’ – The Cure 23. ‘Scary Monsters and Super Creeps’ – David Bowie

Netflix and thrill

t’s Halloween – the perfect time to make a move on that special someone using everyone’s favourite pick up trick: Netflix and chill. Will you put your prospective partner off by being a complete wuss? Or will they be screaming for another reason? Here are the team’s top Netflix and thrill choices to get you on your way.

3. American Horror Story If you’re going for something a bit more long-term, this TV series will get you both hooked enough to come back for more. The first series is the raunchiest, featuring a haunted house filled with people who have died there. Just make sure you don’t watch too much or you’ll never get any work done again.

1. The Babadook A woman loses her husband and finds comfort in reading bedtime stories to her grieving son. It starts off going as well as can be expected: until she starts seeing the ghostly Babadook from one of the stories in real life. Classic ‘what’s under the bed’ scare-fest.

4. Scream If gore is your thing, cosy up to this American slasher film, straight from the 1990s. Then again, if gore isn’t your thing, you might as well pop this on anyway, so you have an excuse to find a distraction from it. Cheeky.

2. Sleepy Hollow What better way to get someone in the mood than to present them with Johnny Depp? True, in Sleepy Hollow he isn’t quite as dreamy as he could be, but this melodramatic film is spooky enough to prompt a few couch cuddles.

5. Paranormal Activity 2 Netflix starts the Paranormal Activity saga from the sequel – unfortunate if you haven’t seen the first one. But at least it means you won’t be too absorbed in the plot. Much like the first film, in Paranormal Activity 2 the malevolent demon in this film will have you hiding under the covers.

The Turn of the Screw – Henry James The tale of a gothic house inhabited by ghosts (maybe…), a possibly mad governess and some very creepy children. Zastrozzi – Percy Bysshe Shelley Etonian Shelley wrote this murderous novella whilst still at school. Spooky and saucy in equal measure. The Yellow Wallpaper – Charlotte Perkins Gilman An isolated woman becomes steadily more obsessed by her wallpaper; she soon starts to see figures in the delicate patterns. The Tell-Tale Heart – Edgar Allan Poe Driven mad by the guilt of the murder he’s committed, a man begins to hear the beating heart of his victim’s body from beyond the grave. A Tree of Night – Truman Capote A young female student meets some interesting characters on a train journey back home to Atlanta on an icy winter’s evening. The Wide Net – Eudora Welty This tale follows the story of a neglectful husband as he sets out to recover the drowned body of his wife, with the help of some friends and that titular wide net. The Black Cat – Edgar Allan Poe Another murderous tale from Poe and a spectacularly spooky story. Ominous and gory, this is definitely not one for cat lovers. JOHANNES HJORTH

29 October 2015 • Part 2 • The Cambridge Student

Culture Secret gems of the reading lists Having read The Woman in White and disliked it, I would probably never have read The Moonstone by Wilkie Collins if it weren’t on my reading list. It turned out to be the best book I read all term. The original detective story, it tells of a cursed diamond which disappears from an English country house. Several deaths, false suspects and red herrings later, the final plot twist will have you gasping for breath. If reading isn’t your game, there is an acceptable BBC adaptation, but I struggle to see how anyone would not be entertained by this caper. Alice Mottram Shaking like a leaf, my 18-year-old self opened up the first year reading list, carefully poring over the reams upon reams of recommended reading. Surely there could be no joy here, in all these intimidating, obscure French texts. Three years on, my older, wiser (?), Part-II self knows not to bother with such trivial things as reading lists, but one novel from those heady days of first-year youth still stands out. Emile Zola’s Thérèse Raquin is dark, saucy and tragic in equal measures. Full of Parisian glamour and tempestuous adultery, it really is a fantastic read (no matter what the dreadful essay I wrote in Michaelmas 2012 may suggest). Jemima Jobling When I got the reading list for English Part I Paper 6, my heart sank. It actually began with a warning from our supervisor saying that ‘the period tended towards prolixity’, that is, writing at unnecessary and tedious length. So many massive novels, so little time. Fortunately, some of those novels were absolute gems, my favourite being Moll Flanders, a dark and devious exploration of London’s 18th-century criminal underworld, from the perspective of the bold, promiscuous Moll. She steals and sleeps her way to the top of that underworld, not just thriving but surviving. But there’s a more poignant undertone to her exploits, that leaves the reader with a few questions. Freya Sanders

Top Five Apprentice Blunders Grace Dickinson

or over a decade, Lord Alan Sugar has been in search of his latest apprentice. Over 100 candidates later, Lord Sugar is yet to be told by his sidekicks Baroness Brady and Claude Littner that it is in fact rude to point. As the new series gets underway, let’s take a moment to relish the top 10 most ridiculous Apprentice moments of the past decade:

4. Premium Bucket One of the most memorable candidates from series 10 was undoubtedly Sarah Dales, who in week one tried to sell a bucket of sponges, toilet brushes, some cleaning product and gloves to London Zoo for £250. Having claimed in her audition that she could sell ice to polar bears, perhaps it was a mistake that she went to the penguin pool.

1. Trampoline Blunder Eventual series three winner Simon Ambrose made a right pillock of himself when demonstrating how to assemble a trampoline during the shopping channel episode. An unfortunate close-up of Ambrose screwing in the legs at belt height made his demo a somewhat seedy affair. It did not help that the price of the trampoline was shown next to Ambrose, at £69.90.

5. Pants Man No, this is not a mediocre spin-off of Marvel’s Ant-Man. Pants man was a series five innovation to sell breakfast cereal. The Pants man jingle told children to remember to put their pants on the right way, but it would seem that its creator, Philip Taylor, had lost his mind when coming up with this idea.

2. Hopkin’s Quits Any poll about The Apprentice is not complete without Katie Hopkins who has of course become infamous for her contentious comments on This Morning and her column for The Sun. Second place is fitting for Hopkins who bowed out of the competition before the final, pursuing a career built on controversy as opposed to standing at Lord Sugar’s side. Former Apprentice aide, Nick Hewer, commented that Hopkins had “red lips shaped for sin”; she has certainly lived up to that description.

As the new series is only three weeks in, there will be more iconic moments to come. There will surely be more drama as Lord Sugar continues his quest for his next apprentice. JAMESCRONIN

3. Sandalwood Oil If The Apprentice has taught its audience anything about business, it’s that you have to get your pricing right. This lesson came too late for candidates during series five who bought 450g of Sandalwood oil to fragrance their product – an oil which costs £1072/kilo. This meant that they had already spent £700 before selling the product, resulting in a huge deficit. Let’s hope none of these candidates goes into banking.

Word of the Week: Resistentialist horror Ever suspected that your earphones twist themselves in knots just to frustrate you? You’re probably right. Jess Payn Columnist

es choses sont contre nous. Such is the motto of the completely earnest, not-at-all satirical and quite fantastic philosophy of resistentialism. If you’ve ever dropped a piece of toast and found it to fall buttered-side-down on the carpet, or discovered that your keys have been curiously misplaced, you will understand the perennial and pernicious evil at the heart of this theory: the inexplicably spiteful behaviour of inanimate objects. It’s not so much a question of what objects will do to us as what they will not do: computers fail on you just as you finish your essay (or your article...); traffic lights change when you’re in a rush; light bulbs blow once it’s become too dark to see, and too late to get them replaced.

Have your wits about you: the malice of everyday objects is not to be underestimated. What’s more, the father of this philosophy, Paul Jennings, pointed out in his ‘Report on Resistentialism’ that, unfortunately, the predicament of having “Things Against Us” is only getting worse in the modern age. Whereas “Medieval man ... had only a few actual Things to worry about”, like “the primitive hole in the roof blowing the smoke back and letting the rain in”, modernists have to contend with ‘can-openers, collar-studs, chests of drawers, open manholes, shoelaces’. His report was written in 1948. Since then, the assortment of Things has only proliferated further. Before I get too carried away with myself, I should tell you

that all of this is, of course, a spoof of existentialism. Pierre-Marie Ventre is credited as the chief philosopher of resistentialism: it is not by accident that Ventre’s name calls up reminders of Jean-Paul Sartre (with a comic twist, ventre meaning ‘stomach’ or ‘gut’ in French), and the resonance of ‘resistentialism’ with ‘existentialism’ is unmistakeable. ‘Things (res) resist (résister) man’ is the meaning of the clever term behind the satire. Nevertheless, hoax or not, there is still something to be said for resistentialist thought: we see it in dystopian films like IRobot, where the robots fight back, and we feel daily the frustrations of things not going our way (quite literally). Objects do have an unusual amount of life to them: my advice is, watch out.

The Cambridge Student • Part 2 • 29 October 2015

Culture “We were going to set it in a toilet”: On writing Living Quarters

William Hutton and Jamie Rycroft

e came up with the idea for Living Quarters in Freshers’ Week of our first year. Excited by the prospect of applying to the ADC with an original script, we naively thought that we’d be able to hammer out a full-length play before the application deadline, but by the time our first deadline was set we’d been unable to finish formulating ideas. Was it four male or four female characters? Was it a cottage in the country or a flat in London? Even the idea to set the entire play in a toilet was seriously considered for a time. A year later and the two of us were keen to begin writing again. We realised that one of the reasons we had felt stuck with the script for so long was because of the arbitrary limit we’d imposed: none of the characters could leave the stage. As soon as we introduced the possibility that characters could enter and exit the stage, a whole new world of dramatic possibilities opened. Characters could talk about other characters ‘behind their back’, we could devise unexpected ways for people to come in and leave, and it helped us to expand the play from a sentence-long plot synopsis to a fullblooded story arc. It was one seemingly obvious thing like this which completely changed our approach to playwriting. We now had a clearer idea of what Living Quarters would be: a modern-day version of the 16th-century ‘comedy of

Co-writing a script is an incredibly rewarding process if you have a partner who is on your wavelength humors’, starring a sanguine (Sandy), choleric (Chloe), melancholic (Mel) and phlegmatic (Flo). It took half a day to come up with the full plot summary, and throughout that monster session we were both trying to come up with the most unexpected ways events could develop. Co-writing a script is an incredibly rewarding process if you have a writing partner who is on your wavelength, but

SIMON LOCK

also isn’t afraid to disagree or argue with you. Our writing sessions, which often began at 9pm and ended at 3am, fluctuated between the hugely productive, in which we’d write a dozen pages, and the frustratingly slow, as we’d dispute over a single line. The benefit to there being two people, however, is that when you hit writer’s block, you can step away from the computer and allow someone else to write for a bit, and vice versa. It’s now so strange to be directing these lines with real actors after so much time only reading them aloud as a pair. It’s no myth that an actor can be as integral to the formation of a character as a writer, and the cast have been incredible at suggesting ways in which lines can be tweaked in order to get intention across more clearly. The dialogue in the show is very snappy, with lots of realistic overlapping lines, and it’s been fun not allowing the actors to pause for punch lines but to keep on going like they would do in real life. What began

as a bunch of vague stage directions have become more complex and taken on a life of their own, and the process of turning page to stage is changing our conception of our own show. Perhaps the thing we’ve learned most from doing Living Quarters is just how incorrect the notion is that a play is the product of just one ‘writer’. Tony Kusher, the Pulitzer-winning writer of Angels in America, once said that it’s a “fiction that artistic labour happens in isolation”. If we consider all the individuals that have helped to shape the play from the start – critics, readers, actors and directors – then we’re inclined to agree. Theatre is not like poetry or a novel; you can’t be the sole creative force from beginning to end. The very medium requires collaboration and co-operation, for people to come together and, for want of a better term, ‘play’ with words. Living Quarters runs at the ADC between Nov 4–7, 11pm.

Raising the barre: Breathing new life into ballet Molly Frederikse

odern ballet dares to challenge the definition of the art form, combining classical with modern, mixing ballet with contemporary, tap, hip hop, and folk dances from all over the world. The scope of the Royal Opera House now goes far beyond what one might expect from such a building. Christopher Wheeldon’s Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland, which premiered in 2011, cast the Mad Hatter as a tap dancer, for which each dancer taking the role had to learn the style. As a companion piece to this, ZooNation brought The Mad Hatter’s Tea Party to the Linbury. ZooNation were the first hip-hop company to perform at the Royal Opera House, and the response was phenomenally positive. They’ll be back soon. Carlos Acosta’s Cubanía took traditional Cuban dance and music to the main stage of the House, with the full Cuban House Band on the stage.

In fact, having the musicians on the stage seems to have been a feature of recent productions (the guitarists for the forest scene of Don Quixote, the pianist in Jerome Robbins’ The Concert, the violinists in Johan Kobborg’s Les Lutins and Steven McRae’s Czardas). Wayne McGregor even had Boy George, Mark Ronson and Alison Mosshart performing in his Carbon Life.

One does not have to know ballet or opera to enjoy it Essentially, I want to urge you not to judge. Theatre, the like of which is shown at the Royal Opera House, cannot be simply defined; the sets and costumes are enough by themselves, the resident orchestra is world class, the acting

is (usually) second to none. One does not have to do ballet or opera, nor does one have to know ballet or opera, to enjoy ballet or opera. Would you say “I can’t go to see that film because I don’t know the story”, or “I can’t listen to that band because I don’t play guitar”? No? Well, perhaps opera and dance ought to be viewed similarly: with an open mind. Maybe you once did ballet and miss it, or maybe you have never danced a step. Maybe you have no interest in anything practical but enjoy sitting in your seat and watching the pain of others, or are even interested in the politics and history of these strange art forms. Whoever you are, welcome to a beautiful world. You can get a ticket for as little as £6. Do feel free to contact me at mf523@cam.ac.uk for information about the Cambridge Ballet club, the Royal Opera House, or anything at all mentioned in or connected with this article.

29 October 2015 • Part 2 • The Cambridge Student

Reviews Private Lives salvaged by stellar cast Izzy Ryan

s the audience files in, jazz bubbles over the Playroom stage. Two chairs, facing away from one another, and the backdrop of dark curtains immediately suggests confusion. The multiple cocktail glasses casually placed around the set hint at the extravagant lifestyles of the English elite that the play goes on to mock. We are placed into an upper class 1930s, and are prepared for the frivolous tone of Private Lives. Noël Coward’s renowned play follows the story of divorced couple Elyot and Amanda, whose love is volatile, passionate and at times psychologically unstable. Their newly wed partners however, are pallid at best. Meeting by chance on the first night of their respective honeymoons, the estranged couple become infatuated with one another all over again almost immediately. While Coward’s notorious wit shines through in the play, often believable sentiment is sacrificed for surreal humour. Eccentric characters and bizarre exchanges are entertaining but fail to develop realistic personas, making all the characters unlikable. However, the phenomenal cast redeems some of the weaknesses in the plot. Will Bishop and Eleanor Mack, playing Elyot

and his new wife Sybil, are particularly good at using a twitch of an eyebrow, or a fallen facial expression, to have the whole audience laughing. The physical humour of the play matches its verbal wit; Elyot and Amanda (Bethan Davidson) have some spectacularly wellchoreographed fight scenes, as well as some strangely moving, if not slightly unhinged, dance routines. Amanda’s new husband Victor (Tom Chamberlain) brings some respite from the chaos. His constant kickedpuppy expression works in a brilliant contrast to the arrogant whirlwind of the divorced lovers. Coward’s play misses the mark of satire and wanders into the region of being outright surreal. Tinged with the upper class arrogance typical of this style and era of theatre, this performance is more than saved by the brilliant work of those involved. Indeed, on the whole GADS revives the renowned play Private Lives with a confidence and charm that smooths over some of the perhaps outdated elements of the script.

7/10 TOM BEVAN

Hot Chip rock Cambridge Tom Bevan Lead Reviewer

hen a band has been on the block for 15 years, it’s rare that they still produce relevant material. Established veterans and contemporary pioneers of the indie-electro scene, Hot Chip captivated their fans at the Corn Exchange with an creative set that offered up the best of six albums’ worth of material. Emerging from a haze of blue stage lights and dreamy looping synths, lead singer and keyboardist Alexis Taylor ushered the seven piece straight into pulsing opener ‘Huarache Lights’. Dressed in characteristic geekchic lab coat and specs, the Jesus graduate announced it was a sort-of-homecoming for the Londoners who gigged around Cambridge colleges in the early 2000s.

With a euphoric mix of material that never took itself too seriously, the band offered a masterclass in handling complex set-up, and brought enough originality to live renditions to excite even their oldest fans. The band’s consistent energy onstage was infectious. Ready for the Floor and Over and Over sounded as urgent as ever and were met with huge cheers and many questionable attempts at the robot from middle aged men who should probably know better. Daring to not give a fuck about the pretention that litters electronic music and surely one of the finest live acts in the game, Hot Chip have a creative boner that isn’t going anywhere fast.

10/10

This flawed Fr never quite co Will Amor Lead Reviewer

his new adaptation of Shelley’s classic Frankenstein creates something of a monster in itself. Combining dialogue from the 19th century with costume and music from the 1990s, it is inconsistent as a full piece. Indeed, this time mash is the most striking part of the production, particularly in the first act. As the Creature, played by Toby Marlow, is brought to life at the clap of frightening lightning, his grotesque figure learns to stand while Blur plays on the radio. This curious medley provided a distinctive aesthetic (Dr Frankenstein’s brother wearing a Nirvana t-shirt was a personal highlight), the levity of which juxtaposed nicely with the serious subject matter of life and death. Indeed, comedic moments would often come in the most grave and unexpected scenes. In a play so invested in binary oppositions, such as alive/dead, right/wrong, human/other,

a deliberate clash between nineteenth century and nineties culture would have been an interesting and welcome thematic motif. Sadly, after fun is had with the idea in the first 30 minutes of the play, it gives

His grotesque figure leans to stand while Blur plays on the radio way to a more traditional style of theatre, devoid of Oasis tracks and this lack of continuity is disappointing . Marlow as the Creature gave a compelling performance, carefully exhibiting pain, dejection and betrayal and managing to bring the character to life with distressing retching and contortions. Yet the relationship on stage between him and his creator Victor Frankenstein, played by Ben Walsh, was inconsistent in quality,

The Cambridge Student • Part 2 • 29 October 2015

Reviews JOHANNES HJORTH

Film: Spectre Anna Bradley TV & Film Editor

t’s the moment we’ve all been waiting for – or at least since the last Bond movie. As a white cat pads along the floor of the villain’s lair the cliches abound, but it’s a dramatic, action-packed watch anyway. Spectre opens in Mexico City on the Day of the Dead with a colourful high definition street parade. A little too high definition: everything is polished to perfection like Bond himself. Then again, the film is full of unlikely scenarios, from last minute escapes to villains stubbornly refusing to die – even when a bomb detonates at their feet. What else would we expect from Bond, James Bond? The scenery is fantastic, with landscapes ranging from a frozen lake to an African desert and even a car chase down the Tiber. Bond has his usual share of gadgetry and drives a wide selection of high speed vehicles. There’s sex, guns and martinis that are shaken not stirred. It’s exciting and action-packed but there is a pervading sense that the plot is convoluted and ultimately obvious. This film is thankfully more straightforward than some of Daniel

rankenstein omes alive though the pair are to be commended for not getting distracted at the beginning of the second act when an audience member fainted and was noisily carried out of the auditorium. Walsh portrayed the maniacal genius of the role with a chilling intensity, though the character’s other emotions (such as his love towards his betrothed) seemed rather unconvincing.

The pair are to be commended for not getting distracted when an audience member fainted Mrs Frankenstein-to-be, played by Julia Kass, had an excellent scene with the Creature which successfully developed an intriguing dialogue rife with tension, though it did not end with the gravitas it

Craig’s previous Bond adventures. At the same time, links are tenuously drawn with previous films, ostensibly in a grand reveal but with a result that feels overstretched and foundationless. Equally, Bond’s main relationship in the film feels shallow and sudden, with the girl in question feistily declaring she will on no account fall into his arms right before she inevitably does. The bizarre title series that creepily intertwines octopuses with naked bodies

There’s sex, guns and martinis that are shaken, not stirred to a crooning Sam Smith track promises a stranger film than is delivered, but perhaps this is not such a bad thing. The end result is well worth going to see, if only because this may be Daniel Craig’s last outing as Bond.

7/10

Film: Suffragette Clare Dawson

deserved. In a similar vein, the end of the first act saw an underwhelming fire effect, most likely due to a technical hitch, which distracted from the severity of the plot. Despite these issues, a number of scenes were inspired by effective artistic flair, such as a mute sequence where the Creature imagines a bride for himself. Well choreographed dancing and light effects transfixed the audience and invested us in the Creature’s desire for companionship. Similarly, the final scene of the play used lighting to provide a dramatic flourish as characters became silhouettes when exiting for the last time. Overall, the play had some exceedingly strong moments in both acting and direction, but regrettably did not come alive as a full production.

6/10

ender equality is a hot topic in today’s news, the headlines are inundated with everything from Donald Trump’s latest sexist slur, to the most recent feminist feud between Nikki Minaj and Taylor Swift. Suffragette reminds us of the roots of the fight for gender equality and gives the suffrage movement the long, overdue limelight it deserves. Sarah Gavron’s film opens a little like Tom Hooper’s Les Miserables, with Carey Mulligan portraying the overworked laundry-worker Maud Watts under the tyranny of her manager. However, in contrast with a doe-eyed Hathaway, Mulligan’s character demonstrates steely resolve. The film exposes the gruelling reality of a woman’s life in the Edwardian period, whether working or upper-class, highlighting the fact that women had no rights over their bodies, to their pay, or even to their children. Mulligan develops her character with subtlety, depicting the growing consciousness of Maud as she converts from a laundry worker and wife complying with the system, to a rebel against it. This is largely triggered by the sexually abusive behaviour of her manager who is a constant lurking threat in the narrative of the film.

Maud’s allies are played by AnneMarie Duff, and Helena Bonham Carter who delivers a surprisingly understated and compelling performance as Edith Ellyn, an educated pharmacist leading

Women had no rights over their bodies her troops into battle. The film has a violent physical texture reinforcing the militancy of the movement, with bombs exploding, windows breaking, and bodies beaten, engaging closely with Emmeline Pankhurst’s refrain, “Deeds not words”. Meryl Streep’s highly anticipated cameo as the infamous Emmeline Pankhurst is fleeting and yet accurately delivered, from hand gestures to vocal register. It is a somewhat romantic portrayal of this historical figure, nevertheless dramatically necessary in inspiring the protagonist to further resolve. Another famous suffragette, Emily Davison, is portrayed with dignity by Natalie Press, whose iconic ‘deed’ becomes the dramatic apex of the film, as she follows Pankhurst’s refrain through to the literal end.

8/10

Lifestyle Mill Road: A shopper’s guide Lucy Roxburgh Food and Drink Editor

or students of most colleges in Cambridge, food shopping tends to be dominated by Sidney Street Sainsbury’s. Whilst this is fine for day-to-day necessities, there may come a point (a peak of procrastination, when you’ve already tidied and done a clothes wash) when you’re ready to branch out and experiment more with cooking. Particularly for international students, hard-to-find ingredients can be discovered (and importantly, discovered cheaply) on Mill Road. Mill Road, located on the far side of Parker’s Piece, is a mile of plenty of independent shops specialising at a diverse range of cuisines, from Italian deli Limoncello to authentic Korean at Bibimbap House. One of the main attractions is Mill Road International Supermarket. The fruit and veg stands outside tempt you from the beginning – I don’t know what I would do with a giant Turkish melon but I know I want one anyway. Inside,

the shelves are crammed full of both recognisable and more unusual ingredients. Cambridge sorely lacks good value grocery shops and this makes up for that – there are huge tubs of olives, spring onions double the size of shrivelled Sainsbury’s ones, cheap and ripe avocados for the perfect guacamole. This is the place to come if you’re in a cooking rut. Big bags of spices perfect for creating your perfect curries are just 99p, tubs of garlic paste save you the faff while adding flavour to everything, squat square jars of antipasti can give you something classy to snack on during essay crises or X Factor binges in bed. I spy three types of bulgur wheat, giant soft pittas for just 40p a packet, and big jars of tahini paste which are great if you fancy making homemade hummus. Even if you don’t go for the spices, antipasti and tropical fruit – you can buy orange or coconut custard creams. They alone are worth a visit. LUCY ROXBURGH

The Cambridge Student • Part 2 • 29 October 2015

Listings Thursday 29 Cambridge Sexual Violence policy Campaign: first meeting. Emmanuel College, 6.30pm. The Beard Society presents ‘Feminist Hero(ine)s?’: A Panel Discussion. Peterhouse, 8.30pm. RAG LOST Launch Party. Lola Lo’s, from 10pm. Friday 30 Hercules: The Thinking Person’s Superhero talk. Fitzwilliam Museum, 1.15pm. Arcsoc & Turf present ‘The Metamorphosis’ with Afriquoi. Secret location, 9pm. The Hypnotist: Séance. Corpus Playroom, 9:30pm. Saturday 31 TCS Review Writing Workshop. The Pelican Bar, Corpus Christi College, 3pm. The Pin Up Horror Show club night. Lola Lo’s, from 8pm. Cambridge University Inter-college Trick or Treating. Participating colleges, 8pm. All Souls concert. Queen’s College Chapel, 8pm. Ghostbusters Halloween film night. King’s College, 8.30pm. Clare Jazz: Battle of the Big Bands. Clare Cellars, 9.30pm. Sunday 1 Speakeasy the Second. ADC Bar, 8pm. Start of Trans Awareness Month.

Compiled by Maddy Airlie

Culinary Dreamin’: It’s raining (free) food A future in the culinary arts and a past at Cambridge mean I won’t have to cook for myself for a while Hetty Gullifer Columnist

s far as I can ascertain from my brief experience so far in the food industry, I will never have to buy food again. For skeptics who believe catering leads to massive waste, all outgoing groceries get given to the hard-working chefs, porters and waiters, while leftover food usually gets eaten for lunch or dinner by a member of the team as well. I will also need to join a gym. No amount of hours on your feet will balance out that leftover praline ice cream you can’t stop eating. Of course the easiest way to get free food in Cambridge is to join a society. Whether it’s the biscuits someone will inevitably bring to your committee meetings, or the garden

party thrown as a reward for staying in the society through exams and to the end of the year, free food is abundant. My personal experience with free food comes in the form of alumni dinners. Choirs get to enjoy these as a recompense for performing to a group of donors to persuade them to give even more money to the college – they are literally singing for their supper. Through the years, I have learned that the length of time since your graduation is directly proportional to the quality of the food and drink you get invited back for. The theory is that the older you are, the more nostalgic you feel and hence the more likely you are to donate. We got five courses for the 1956-9 years, including a gin and tonic sorbet; while the 2001-3 years only got four, and

limited dessert wine. Unfortunately despite what the 2013 semi-finals of Masterchef would have you believe, the regular Caius student does not get treated to a tuile basket filled with passion fruit mousse and raspberry coulis on a normal day. But that doesn’t mean Caius can’t pull off a rare pigeon breast, a crispy-skinned sea bass fillet and a perfect fig and blackcurrant tart with cinnamon crème fraiche – not all on the same plate, of course. I highly recommend graduating. Admittedly the food won’t be free, but hopefully by then you’ll actually be earning money rather than scraping by on a student loan. Until then, join a society; at the very least there will probably be pizza and biscuits at some point down the line.

The Cambridge Student • Part 2 • 29 October 2015

Lifestyle

Happley ever after

An apple a day Lili Bidwell

Maddy Airlie Lifestyle Editor

MAGDALEN CHRISTIE

ut of all the college events in Cambridge, even the puppy days that are put on in Week Five, or Clare’s doughnut Fridays in the library, none can quite compete with the cuteness levels of Murray Edwards. Apple Day last Saturday embodied all that is cosiest and cutest about this hill college. A couple of hours of eating free food , escaping the appalling amount of essay deadlines piling up on my desk? Ideal. Despite the slightly overcast sky and rain earlier in the morning, spirits remained un-dampened for this celebration of all things autumnal and apple-y. Finding your way to the gardens at the back of Medwards, this secluded spot was the perfect space for the event. It felt as if the roar of Huntingdon Road traffic and the ding of bicycle bells had been left behind for a more peaceful world, where we could pretend apple crumble grows on trees... Guests were greeted with the freshest of freshly pressed apple juice, made using the hydraulic press that the JCR had invested in for the event, and it was fantastic. This was followed by the apple crumble, which merited multiple helpings (trust me, it deserves that definite article – I don’t think I’ll ever be able to have it at buttery again). MADDY AIRLIE

After sneaking back for those extra portions, some people drifted over to the apple crafts table, which involved painting apple halves and printing them onto paper: calming in a mindful sort of way. I think the University is missing a trick in not making therapeutic techniques and pudding a collegewide tradition (or maybe Medwards could just do Apple Day every week of Michaelmas Term). The day was about more than just apples though: there were also marshmallows. Roasting marshmallows over a fire pit seems simple enough and most people were able to stand around having a good chat, eating as many marshmallows as they were able to fit on a stick. JAN SMITH

very fruit bowl has a few apples languishing at the bottom, waiting to be used for something more interesting than an emergency breakfast on the way to a lecture. These simple recipes, both sweet and savoury, are the solution!

Apple crumble: crumble is the perfect autumn comfort food. Peel, core and dice 250g apples. Sprinkle over 1tbsp brown sugar, 1tbsp plain flour and a pinch of cinnamon (this will absorb some of the juices as the crumble cooks). Rub 150g plain flour, 60g brown sugar and 100g cubed butter together until the mixture resembles breadcrumbs. Spoon the mixture into an ovenproof dish. Sprinkle the crumble mixture over the top and bake for 30–40 minutes until bubbling. Baked apples: remove the core of a large apple. Mix together 3tbsps butter and 3tbsps brown sugar until smooth. Add a sprinkling of cinnamon and nutmeg and a handful of raisins. Stuff the mixture into the centre of the apple and bake in the oven for 30 minutes at 180°C, or microwave for 5 minutes until soft.

Instead of crumbling under Cambridge presssure, students could escape to Medwards for a cosier applesphere However, JCR member Alice Mottram happened to get herself into a bit of a sticky situation: “Contrary to most people, I find marshmallows quite difficult to eat. You ideally want the mallows to be really gooey, but then things get messy and you find yourself with sticky fingers. My friends didn’t help either, they just took photos of me and laughed.” TCS spoke to incider Beth Jamal, the ethical and environmental officer for Medwards JCR, who organised the event. She enthused: “I was really pleased with how the event went. It was lovely to see so many people enjoying a wellearned break and sampling some of the gardeners’ delicious produce. It’s a Medwards tradition and brings together students, fellows and college staff.” Of course the college gardeners’ skills were the core of the event’s success, but it was also that sense of community, something harder to find in the lecture hall or the library between the college and its students, and those from beyond the hill, which made Apple Day so apeeling. MADDY AIRLIE

Rosemary fried apples: Apples don’t always have to be used in desserts - they work equally well in savoury dishes. Chop an apple into small cubes about a centimetre across. Fry in plenty of butter with sprigs of Rosemary until softened and golden. Perfect with sausages! Apple Charlotte mug cake: Perfect for those in college acccommodation with just a microwave – no ovens needed! Core, quarter and dice an apple and cook with 3tbsps brown sugar in a pan until soft (or microwave for 3 minutes). Add cinnamon, nutmeg and raisins if desired. Meanwhile make a sponge: Mix 1 egg, 4tbsps self-raising flour, 4tbsps sugar and 4tbsps very soft butter until totally combined into a smooth cake mixture consistency that will drop off the back of a spoon. Put the apple mixture in the bottom of the mug and top with the cake mix. (Depending on mug size this may make enough for two people – bear in mind the cake mix will rise!) Cook in the microwave for 2 minutes on a medium heat or until a skewer comes out of the cake clean. Be careful not to overcook: less is more! Serve with custard, cream or ice cream. Apple porridge: an easy and tasty way to make plain porridge more interesting. Simply grate an apple over the top of your porridge, add some sultanas and sprinkle some cinnamon over the top. Voila. DAVID ALLAN

The Cambridge Student • Part 2 • 29 October 2015

Pumpkins: Not just for carving

Top 5 scary treats

Lifestyle

Lucy Roxburgh Food and Drink Editor

Asia Lambert & Karishma Patel

umpkins are a ubiquitous symbol of Halloween, but there is so much more you can do with them than just carve them for your window. Pumpkin pie and soup are the classics that spring to mind, but the baking possibilities don’t have to stop there.

Pumpkin and Raisin Cake 200g light muscovado sugar 4 eggs, separated 200g finely grated raw pumpkin flesh finely grated zest and juice of 1 lemon 100g raisins 100g ground almonds 200g self-raising flour 1 tsp of ground cinnamon grating of nutmeg 1. Preheat the oven to 175°C. Lightly grease a loaf or cake tin and line with baking parchment. 2. Using an electric whisk, beat the sugar and egg yolks together for around 2 minutes until pale and creamy. 3. Lightly stir in the grated pumpkin, lemon zest and juice, raisins and ground almonds. 4. Sift the flour and spices together over the mixture and then fold them in. 5. In a large clean bowl, beat the egg whites until they hold soft peaks. Stir a heaped tablespoonful of the egg white into the cake mixture to loosen it, then fold in the rest as lightly as you can. 6. Tip the mixture into the prepared tin and gently level the surface so it rises evenly. 7. Bake for about 45 minutes, or until a skewer inserted into the centre comes out clean.

Pumpkin Spiced Tea Latte Pudding 1 spoon of loose leaf pumpkin chai tea (can substitute with your favourite chai tea or with 1 tea bag) 1½ cups water 1 cup coconut or almond milk ¼ canned pumpkin puree 2 tbsp brown sugar 1 tbsp maple syrup ¼ tsp ground cinnamon ¼ tsp ground ginger ¼ tsp ground nutmeg 1. Put the tea, water, and spices into a small saucepan and bring to a boil. 2. Reduce the heat and simmer for 8 minutes. 3. Add your milk of choice, pumpkin puree, sugar, and maple syrup to a saucepan and simmer for an additional 3-5 minutes. 4. Strain into mugs and enjoy!

DESIREE TONUS

Covent Garden Scream of Pumpkin Soup: anything with a pun in the title instantly gets bonus points. Whilst the addition of blood orange makes sense for a Halloweenthemed soup, the flavour itself is a touch too strong, spoiling what should be a comforting winter soup. Co-op Pumpkin Ravioli: making a student classic festive. This tastes so good, sweet but savoury, I could eat it all year round. Perfect for speedy festivity if you have an essay crisis on Halloween. Mr Kipling Toffee Terror Whirls: distinctly unterrifying, and slightly bland in flavour as well as appearance – these are the ideal Halloween treat for a Halloween hater. Mr Kipling Witches Hat Fancies: these are baffling for the senses: the green sponge is orange flavoured, the black icing that should be grim somehow actually isn’t. Sainsbury’s Ghoulish Cupcakes: the most reliable Halloween treat that everyone will love: you can’t go too wrong with a chocolate cupcake.

LUCY ROXBURGH

A Halloween tutorial: Fangtastic nail art guaranteed

ANNA CARRUTHERS

f you like dressing up, Halloween is the event of the year. But if the idea of crafting and wearing a semiridiculous costume fills you with dread, Halloween can be – well, a nightmare. Seasonal nail polish is a fun and understated way to celebrate. And for those who can’t wait to get into their costume on Saturday, it’s an acceptable way to get in the mood before Halloween roles round. Whichever camp you fall into, TCS Fashion is here to help, with gorgeous nail art inspiration from Anna Carruthers and Rebecca Davies, and a simple tutorial for your own spooktacular nail art. ANNA CARRUTHERS

Pumpkin Nail Art Start off with a white base coat, to really make the colour pop (something cheap, like Collection French Manicure Polish in French White, £2.99, is perfect). Top with two coats of orange (such as Barry M Nail Paint in Tangerine, £2.99). Then using a black nail art pen (try WAH London 01 Black Nail Art Pen 9.5ml, £7.00) draw two triangles for eyes and a smile using zig-zag lines on a single nail. Wait until this has completely dried, then top with clear polish (Barry M Plumpy Topcoat 10ml, £2.99). Simple, but effective! Rebecca Davies ANNA CARRUTHERS

REBECCA DAVIES

The Cambridge Student • Part 2 • 29 October 2015

Lifestyle

‘Students Of’... In focus: The people behind the ‘Students Of ’ lens

“Despite it being a bit of a strange scenario to be approached in that way, it was not something that made me feel uncomfortable at all, just a bit surreal.” – Nick Jones, the subject of Joe’s first picture for ‘Students Of ’

Alice Mottram Art Director Started by Joe Binder in Cambridge last academic year, the ‘Students Of ’ project now spans universities across the UK and around the world. Its focus is on real students, their lives, and the issues they are facing. You can find the ‘Students Of ’ projects on Facebook, and read more about Joe on the TCS website, from which quotes on this page are taken.

“I think it was a point where we featured a ‘Black Lives Matter’ campaign at Cambridge, and I mean it went viral... I realized that it didn’t have to be just about silly stories about romances and nights out, but it could be used as a central platform for different university activities.” – Joe Binder, Founder

OW BR

“All you need is somebody to run it with a camera and to talk to people, and it means that without having links to big journalistic platforms, you can have your voice heard... it’s a way of giving this extraordinary amplification to ordinary people.” – Joe Binder, Founder “I’m starting a new blog to document the many faces of Cambridge students, do you mind if I take a photo of you?” “Okay, am I smiling or...” – Nick Jones, Cambridge

ON DE I G

“I row for my college and I reckon it takes up about 50% of my time. Sometimes I think about sex during rowing, but more often than not I think about rowing during sex.” – Oxford

“I’m taking 24 hours this semester. All my science and engineering friends flip out when I tell them, but I’m a political science, GSCOM, and Management triple major. That barely measures up to some workloads and majors here, but it just means I have to take a lot of credits. So I look at my schedule, and anytime I have free time and my friends are gonna be busy, I figure why not take another class? Currently taking three dance classes and yoga, and I’m sneaking into a fourth dance class off roster too.” – Josh Mitchell, South Carolina

“I kind of applied on a whim” – the Students of Cambridge

“‘Students Of ’ offers an authentic snap of Oxford in a tongue in cheek kind of way. We want to put a smile on people’s faces as they check their phone between lectures.” – Noah Lachs, Students of Oxford

VI DA

“Last spring, I had a friend who was studying abroad from University of Leeds here in the States that brought the subject of ‘Students Of ’ up to me... I’m ecstatic about the possibilities that the community has to offer in terms of creating a more compact and close-knit community here at the University of South Carolina.” – Josh Thompson, Students of the University of South Carolina

“I drove an ambulance a third of the way around the world. We bought it in London and drove it to Ulan Bator in Mongolia, then donated it to a hospital there. They send us pictures every now and then of them using it.” – Michael Schmid, Cambridge

“I have a thing against photos generally. They’re kind of dishonest.” – Cambridge

“If me speaking about my race makes me radical, then radical it is. Write it on my forehead.” – Titi Odusanwo, Cambridge

“I kind of just applied on a whim. I’d literally never been to Cambridge before my interview day, and then I walked in to King’s and thought ‘oh fuck, what have I done?’” – Sarah Wilson, Cambridge

“Cambridge in Autumn does look really nice. I’ll miss that particularly.” – Alastair Benn, Cambridge

The Cambridge Student • Part 2 • 29 October 2015

Lifestyle

Postcards from the homeland: The scenes we miss most Cambridge is pretty but there’s no place like home... Brighton, UK

Kiev, Ukraine

Kat Karpenko

Connecticut, USA

Hohenwarth-Mühlbach, Austria

Emily Busvine

Wicklow, Ireland

Elsa Maishman

Histon, Cambridgeshire

Brighton, UK

Miriam Shovel

Warsaw, Poland

Wellington, New Zealand

Maddy Airlie

Chase Caldwell Smith

Aberdeen, UK

Miriam Shovel

Jessie Mathewson

Freya Sanders

Aleksandra Trzeciak

The Cambridge Student • 29 October 2015

Features

Trick or Treat? A selection of the best pranks Cambridge has seen... LOST BUT NOT FOUND “One of my friends couldn’t find our lecture timetable so I told him that our first lecture was 9am the first day of term at the West Cambridge site, and he went all the way there. Safe to say that wasn’t where or when our first lecture was.” Julia Stanyard

ARISE AND FOLLOW HIM “My friends put a letter in my pidge on April Fool’s Day, supposedly from someone who liked me – and who I didn’t like back – apologising for not standing up to say goodbye when he’d come for lunch with our group because ‘other’ parts of him were rising…” Anonymous

THE WATCHERS “My friends once toilet papered my room and turned all my posters upside down, jumped out at me from my wardrobe and, because I was the college welfare officer at the time, they put all the welfare condoms in my bed. I was drunk when I found out about this so went and ranted at them, but unfortunately one of them had her boyfriend over, and in my state I thought suitable revenge would be to force feed the other one a whole, dry vitamin tablet. About a year later, I accidentally bought 500 googly eyes on Amazon, so as revenge covered all the eyes on my friend’s posters in her room with them – she is a thesp so has a lot of pictures of herself on her walls.” Charlotte Furniss-Roe

Ghosts and Gouls VISIONDROPS

sick after a plague outbreak in 1632, but suffered from depression and committed suicide by hanging himself from the door of the Master’s Lodge on Easter Sunday. He supposedly haunted the Master’s Lodge and though the attempted exorcism failed he hasn’t been seen since 1967. Some ghosts remain active today; the Corpus kitchens are supposedly haunted by the spirits of Elizabeth Spencer and James Betts, who died in 1667. Elizabeth was the daughter of the master and her lover, James, was a student at the College. One day her father came home unexpectedly and James hid in a

Several students at Sidney Sussex found disembodied limbs in their rooms

cupboard; unfortunately he suffocated. Elizabeth was so distraught when she discovered him that she took her own life. The two are said to be sighted every Christmas Eve. Fortunately too far away to cause most of us much concern is the Grey Lady of Girton. As if being built on an ancient Anglo-Saxon burial ground wasn’t creepy enough, poor Girtonians have spotted the ghost of a ‘grey lady’, thought to be the daughter of Thomas Taylor who funded the Taylor Knob building in 1867. She was due to study at the College but became very ill and died before she could start her studies. This apparition has been witnessed on the spiral staircase by the Taylor Knob building, earning it the name the ‘Grey Lady staircase’. She was seen just a few years ago by porter Peter Wood. Possibly the goriest tale comes from Sidney Sussex. Famous for having the head of Oliver Cromwell entombed in their college chapel, it seems this isn’t the only body part lying around. In 1967 several students reportedly found disembodied limbs in their rooms, and a similar event had occurred 120 years previously, with two maids finding a dismembered body. But let us not forget that not all ghosts should be feared. Alongside the Church of St Mary the Less runs Little St Marys Lane, which is supposedly haunted by a little girl wearing a Victorian dress and ribbons who skips, smiling along the street. Isn’t that cute.

QUANTITY BUT NO QUALITY “On more than one occasion, my friends have swapped my wine bottle for one filled with my friend’s urine. Every time, I’m ashamed to admit that I polished the bottle off – in my defence I was always already very drunk and I think this story reveals more about the quality of Sainsbury’s wine than my gullibility. Each time the truth has been revealed to me, my anger is surpassed by my astonishment that my friend can produce such vast quantities of urine.” Anonymous

IT’S RAINING KNICKERS “One time I went out and left my room unlocked. While I was gone my friends removed all my underwear from the cupboard, sellotaped it to the ceiling and filmed my reaction when I got back. I thought I had collected it all but the next day was scared in the shower by a pair of knickers hanging down from the ceiling.” Magdalen Christie

THE HOLY TRINITY “One of my friends was due to arrive back in college a couple of days later than the rest of us. Another friend, living next door to his empty room, realised this room was unlocked. She immediately informed the rest of our group and we debated how to use this golden opportunity. We couldn’t agree whether tin-foiling the furniture, cling-filming the toilet seat or covering the floor in cups of water was the best way to proceed, so as reasonable people, we decided to do all three. The completed effort was a masterpiece. We were especially gleeful knowing that our friend has really bad OCD. Unfortunately the plan didn’t have quite the impact we’d hoped, as when he arrived he simply made his dad clear it all up for him.” Samantha Louise SAMMY LOVE

29 October 2015 • The Cambridge Student

Features

Taboo: I’ve ditched bras, and frankly – je ne regrette nothing at all Rose Reade Columnist

haven’t worn a bra for months. This all came about because a friend and I decided to give up bras for Lent. It was honestly the best decision I have ever made. For one thing, my posture is better. I have to stand up straight so that my boobs don’t fold over and suffer from that classic ailment – under-boob sweat. Walking down stairs was painful for a while, but that’s a thing of the past now. Because there’s no cloth and wire holding them up, my pec muscles have had to work a lot harder, resulting in them supporting my breasts much better than a bra ever did. Added bonus: I’ve also heard that this means less sagginess in later life. More than that, I have more money (good god bras are expensive!) and best of all I feel more confident. Sometimes my nipples are on show, but so what? #Freethenipple! Sometimes my boobs look triangular. So what? I think it looks cool. I know that giving up the bra isn’t for everyone. But simply in terms of comfort and confidence, it’s brilliant. Despite the fact I’ve done this purely for myself and not for any political or moral agenda, it does bring up some interesting ideas and questions about the female body (much like last week’s column on armpit hair).

A Week in the life: Alan Fersht* *as imagined by Jack May Monday

As Master of Gonville and Caius College, one of the many perks of my existence is the view from the Lodge. Looking out over the garden and the wall towards Trinity Hall, I’m always reminded of the meagre beginnings of this college. Our founder, Edmund Gonville, died two years after founding the place, and didn’t quite leave quite enough money behind. That forced William Bateman to swoop in and give us half the land on which he’d founded Trinity Hall. Might have been nice to have included him in the name, but Gonville, Bateman, and Caius College would have been silly. Looking forward to a peaceful week.

Tuesday

Returned from meetings to find a criminal fraternity interloping around the garden. Called in some help and got rid of them fairly sharpish. Sent out something about our houses over the other side of Parkers’ Piece in the hope they might get the message and go bug the students instead.

Wednesday

Ah. Oops. Seem to have landed in a bit of a whoopsie about the romp in Freshers’ Week. Whole thing got rather out of hand. Penned a rather exciting email to dispel some of the stuff going around. Flowery adjectives and some saucy stuff about how the kids would all turn into Volkswagen managers and that sort of thing. Should keep everyone’s mind at ease.

Thursday

How wrong I was.

Apparently women can also be Freshers. Oops. Got told off by some of the trendier fellows

Friday

This seems to have gone national. Several of the newspapers have run with it, and they were talking about me on The Andrew Marr Show this week. Not quite the put-down I’d planned.

Saturday

Apparently women can also be freshers. Oops. Got a bit of a telling off from some of the trendier fellows for saying ‘freshers, including women’ in my email.

Sunday

Reading back, I have to say “unethical pariahs” is one of my better lines. Who says a scientist can’t turn a good phrase? Spent the evening walking on the grass, just because I can. NIGE BROWN

When I was 12, I forced my mother to take me bra shopping because I didn’t want to feel left out at school In 1969, women allegedly burned their bras as a feminist protest. This is a myth. What they actually did was throw a variety of items considered to be ‘feminine’ into a huge bin as a powerful rejection of what was expected of them by society. I personally think that it’s totally cool and okay to wear bras and other ‘feminine’ items if you want to. The key part of that sentence being if you want to. When I was 12, I forced my mother to take me bra shopping because I didn’t want to feel left out at school or not do the things that ‘grown up women are supposed to do’. I didn’t think that I had a choice and so put up with itchy sweaty bras (sometimes I would get so uncomfortable at school I’d sneak it off under my jumper and feel guilty that I couldn’t do what ‘women are supposed to do’ without feeling uncomfortable). Even though I wanted to wear bras it wasn’t really my choice. At some point society decided that that was the done thing and so it was the thing I did. But now I’m much happier not wearing a bra and letting my nipples roam free. Again, that’s also me. So here is this week’s challenge: see how you feel without a bra. It might feel like your boobs are being tortured by gravity, but it might feel like they’ve been let loose to roam free. Either way, it’s an interesting experiment. R NIAL BRADSHAW

Breast is born free, and everywhere it is in chains

The Students’ Favourite: Trees

Magdalen Christie Features Editor

utumnal weeks in Cambridge may be cold, but the trees are looking blooming marvellous. Read on for a report on the best trees in Cambridge, as chosen by students. If you want to branch out in your floral appreciation, Murray Edwards boasts a particularly fine tree towering graciously over the concrete walkway. Upon passing the library and waving happily at those working harder than you, the colours of this tree glow in a brilliant blast of reds, oranges, and yellows. One particular tree enthusiast called it “the kind of tree yew take a picture of every time you pass”. Early October sees light greens and yellow overtake the leaves, and now the tawny ochre shades are appearing. If you ever take a trip up Castle Hill, make sure you check out this tree before you

leaf. The Sidgewick site showcases a few fine trees. One Emmanuel English student enjoys their garish yellow branches that “add a welcome splash of colour” to the plane grey Law Faculty. Skinny though they may be, these trees are a flaming glimpse of joy on a gloomy day. The trees lining the path that runs across St John’s pitches have also been praised by certain tree enthusiasts. One tree in particular is a wonderful blaze of flaming leaves that shield the walker from rain. Perhaps the most famous tree in Cambridge is in Girton, where the much admired Cloud Leopards, (Girton’s mixed lacrosse team), posed in their new kit, draped artistically off the branches, even making it into Cambridge News.

MAGDALEN CHRISTIE

The Cambridge Student • 29 October 2015

Features

Student Spotlight: Game of Thrones Society Behind Cambridge’s Anthony Bridgen Features Editor

ame of Thrones: the cult phenomenon. It seems that everyone is into it – everyone but me that is. Here I stand, isolated at the sidelines of this warm world of geeky references, the land of Lannisters (or land-bannisters as I thought they were called…) and Starks, wolves and dragons. So I decided enough was enough and tagged along to a meeting of the newly anointed Game of Thrones Society, for a quiz night. We descend into the basement of Selwyn JCR, an appropriate locale methinks. We enter. I was disappointed to note that no one was wearing a costume, all appeared normal. This was not to last. I greet the person who appears to be the leader. He introduces himself as “James, the King, and that’s the hand of the king just leaving”, unfortunately I’m led to believe the master of coin couldn’t make it. The King informs me that the aim of the society is just to “enjoy a song of ice and fire”. Now this is more like it. In the spirit of investigative journalism, I go and corner some other members to interrogate. I strike gold, a couple of Caius first-years looking for renown. “Which character do you most relate to?” I inquire. Well it turns out that Alison “connects on a spiritual level with Drogon” – Jack

informs me that she does not take well to people pilfering her chocolate. Caians, you’ve been warned! Already lost in the milieu of references, I decide to just try to find out what really drives people to love Game of Thrones: “da sex”, “dem boobies”, Alison and Jack reply almost simultaneously. Alison quickly tries to backtrack with some wishy washy claims about “complex characters” and how Ramsey has a “winning smile as he waves the sausage”. But it’s too late, their true colours have been revealed. Now I get it: people are just in it for the sex scenes. It all make sense! Finally, it’s time for the quiz to begin, most of it is a blur of obscure references, extreme competitivety from ‘Team Big T’ (Jack and Alison) and my being entirely useless. Round one. Six questions in, I’ve been staring into space for the past five questions and when I glance over to my teammate, the desperate look in her eye and latent annoyance at my incompetence tells me we’re not off to a good start. Round five. I stare daggers at Team Big T as they pipe up “do we get a bonus point if we know the dog’s name?” I then help spell ‘Sicily’ and ‘coyote’, and my place on the team is vindicated at last. Final round. One team is drawing

Now I get it: people are just in it for the sex scenes

the answer, while the King is draped lasciviously across the sofa. My fellow quizzer utters the immortal phrase: “That’s like, my favourite dire wolf!” Then comes the marking. Big T is checking ours, and Jack smugly proclaims “they have so many wrong answers”. I’m not really surprised. Though I can’t say I’m a Game of Thrones convert, this society is definitely the place for you if you’re a keen GoT bean. KRISTINA R VIA YOUTUBE

As Halloween approaches, we got inside the mind of a Cambridge student to find the darker side...

“Bourgeois reaction”

Kat, Murray Edwards

“Fire alarms”

Colm, Magdalene

“Tissues”

Alice, Murray Edwards

Laura-May Nardella Columnist

y second week of Cambridge began with a nervous breakdown and landed me in Addenbrooke’s. It turns out that if you shelf two years’ worth of mental health problems in the back of your head, add a stressful new environment and mix in some Freshers’ Week nerves, you get an eruption of Pompeian proportions. While most people hopefully won’t have made quite that kind of entrance, it’s a sad fact that if you come to Cambridge with mental health problems, they’re likely to be amplified as a result of the system. My seemingly ill-timed explosion was actually a blessing; I didn’t have to go looking for help, it was forcibly thrust upon me by my worried college. Had I not got so bad, I probably would have continued to be too ashamed to reach out for help, and I don’t think I would’ve known where to look for it, which is the reality for most people. I could join the masses in bashing the welfare system

By providing a platform for people to talk about mental health openly, mental illness stopped being an abstract thing that couldn’t possibly affect me

Student Chat: “What’s your greatest fear?”

“Deep waters”

Campaigns: Student Minds Cambridge

Anna, Murray Edwards

“Spiders”

CLOCKWISE FROM TOP: MAGDALEN CHRISTIE, LAURA ROBINSON, SAMMY LOVE. COMPILED BY MAGDALEN CHRISTIE

Sammy, Christ’s

we have, but it would be insulting to the great counsellors and staff who enabled me to reach my final year here. Of course people are justified in scrutinizing the system, and of course it’s partly to blame for our poor mental health statistics – but there’s a much bigger picture. In my first year, the conference, coffee mornings and photo campaigns that Student Minds Cambridge put on brought me such comfort in what was a difficult and, at times, very dark period of recovery. But it also did much more than that: by providing a platform for people to talk about mental health openly and by educating people, mental illness stopped being an abstract thing that couldn’t possibly affect me and that I shouldn’t mention at the dinner table. Being able to talk about mental health is an important part of recovery, and teaching people how to help their friends or how to recognise poor mental health is an important part of de-stigmatising something that one in four of us will be affected by in our lives. I’ve been on both sides of the battle – as the patient and now as president of SMC – so I know firsthand that there’s more to good mental health than an hour a week at the UCS. The biggest barrier that mental health faces is the stigma and silence that surrounds it, and that’s what SMC tries to overcome. If you are interested in getting involved with the society, Student Minds Cambridge (SMC) has an official Facebook page with information concerning past campaigns it has run. These include this year’s successful #DearFresherMe photo campaign and last year’s drive to raise awareness about eating disorders. You can also access the society newsletter and useful website links on SMC’s website: www.studentmindscambridge.wordpress.com.

29 October 2015 • The Cambridge Student

Interviews

Infinite possibility: Inside the Careers Service Chase Smith Interviews Editor

elcoming me into his office in the stately Stuart House on Mill Lane, Dr. Gordon Chesterman is all ears for my queries. As director of the Cambridge Careers Service, he has a deep interest in helping students find career paths of all sorts, from the most popular traditional choice – further study and research – through to law firms, investment banks, not – for-profit enterprises, international development, and media. He reassures me that “we try and cover all career sectors, and it’s very much student demands that drive what we do here.” He emphasizes that the four and a half thousand employers who target the university every year are especially interested in the ‘transferable skills’ provided by the Cambridge undergraduate degree, whose combination of rigorous academics, time management, and extracurricular juggling “produce[s] a unique kind of graduate that is highly sought after by employers.” He underscores that many employers recruit students of all degree types, and that “the data we have on employment outcomes for our students shows that there are no specific degree subjects that are any stronger than others when it comes to getting a decent job at the end of the degree.”

Chesterman does warn that Cantabs are prone to certain pitfalls. “There have been times when a Cambridge student has been a little too arrogant or conceited – ‘I’ve got my degree from Cambridge now give me a job please.’” The Careers Service makes an effort to ask where graduates are falling short, and recently came across the interesting observation that sometimes alumni are not too arrogant, but rather too modest: “Students here have three years not boasting about their achievements [and] not telling all their friends how wonderful they are because their friends are just as good if not better. And often students walk away from an interview giving a weak performance and not mentioning some of these attributes that would have got them the job.” For Chesterman, it’s all about the needs of the student: “We’re not here to make profit by placing students in the wealthiest and biggest companies. So if you wanted to be a turkey farmer in Norfolk, we will help you become a turkey farmer in Norfolk. “There are certain careers where one has got to invest a lot of time and lot of effort on a very low pay in order to make it to a successful fruition where one is receiving a decent pay packet. And I think we as a service have a duty to inform students of the risks, the dangers, [and] the insecurity before embarking on this particular career,

and we do our damndest to try and put people off going into that career by highlighting all the negatives, the doubts, and so on. And if they’re still championing for that at the end then they probably have got that determination to make it succeed.” I change tack, asking about his opinion on unpaid internships, which are a particularly charged issue. He admits that his continued comfort in advertising them stems from “the knowledge that we now are able to offer about eighty £500 bursaries per year to current undergraduates to undertake

unpaid internships but now make a unpaid or low paid internships. “Quite a few of these organisations significant contribution to the cost of that have taken unpaid interns in the living and travel and so on.” As a closing remark, he offers past have had their arms twisted by some advice to students: “Even in your first year give some thought “If you want to be a careers: it’s not too early. And I turkey farmer in Norfolk, to think the other thing to say is just we will help you become to reassure the readers that they are a Norfolk turkey farmer.” employable. We enjoy some of the highest employment rates in the us to actually offer an adequate wage UK in terms of our students getting to their interns, and there are quite graduate level jobs.” But of course, “The hard thing is a few examples now of companies who traditionally were only offering just knowing which one to go for.”

EARTH SCIENCES LIBRARY VIA YOUTUBE

On the phone with the Royal Geographical Society BRISTOL NATURAL HISTORY CONSORTIUM VIA YOUTUBE

YAO TANG

Chase Smith Interviews Editor

ettling down one afternoon, I dial the phone number for the Royal Geographical Society in London, and am put through to the director, Dr. Rita Gardner. Her enthusiasm for the potential of her subject for students of all disciplines shines through: “What can non-geographers do [to learn more about geography and make a difference]? Well, they can pal up with a geographer [and] go down [to] the bar for a couple of drinks: [that] might be a good start,” she chuckles. More seriously, she points out the importance of environmental campaigning groups, and mentions, to my delight, Cambridge’s “very active University Expeditions Society.” “Since we started funding undergraduate expeditions in 1959, we have supported about 12,000 undergraduates or young people in planning a scientific [expedition] and about ten percent of the projects that have been supported are actually from Cambridge University.” However, even in the world of geography the Oxbridge rivalry

continues unabated: “I have to say, and you don’t have to publish this: that’s slightly less than from Oxford.” When I ask her about the potentially problematic relationship between the ‘West and the rest’ that can arise in a research expedition, she offers her take on the issue. “Views on that are so different. I think it depends what the relationship is. The society support[s]

“We tried not to bury our colonial past but to make it available for reinterpretation.” and encourage[s] collaborative research: programs where people are researching together with scholars and researchers within the country where a piece of field research or expedition is actually taking place. We don’t support the model of funding a group of people from the West to go to a country and do their research in isolation – that’s not the way it’s done these days.” While we’re on this topic, I ask how the society has navigated its colonial legacies, in light of its deep

involvement with colonial exploration in the nineteenth century. “That’s really interesting. The way in which we tackled it is to not try to bury our colonial past but to make it available for re-interpretation. When we opened the society to the public in 2004, we started working with diaspora community groups in London around interpreting what our archives of colonial exploration meant to them.” “We worked jointly with the communities on workshops [and] they reinterpreted and added to knowledge of our collections, correcting some mistakes in the documentation. We added their comments onto the collection’s [online] resources,” She points to a new exhibit at the society which aims to explore the ‘hidden’ lives of exploration: it will be “a great way of being very positive but not uncritical, of course, about the society’s colonial legacy.” Geography and the RGS then, have much to offer Cambridge students who are willing to look a bit closer at the institution and its past. As Gardner declares, “It’s a fabulous discipline.”

The Cambridge Student • 29 October 2015

Comment

Has the government found a solution to the endless West Lothian question?

Cut the ties

The University must divest from fossil fuel companies

Amatey Doku Columnist ast week, the government successfully voted through plans to introduce “English votes for English laws” despite fierce opposition from Scottish National Party MPs. The move takes the government one step closer to answering one of the conundrums which has appeared as a result of the United Kingdom’s various devolution settlements. This is known as the “West Lothian question” which, in simple tasks, asks whether it is fair that Scottish, Welsh and Northern Irish MPs are allowed to vote on devolved issues in the House of Commons which only affect England. Since certain areas such as education and health have been devolved to the respective parliaments in Scotland, Northern Ireland and Wales, English MPs cannot vote on these issues, yet MPs representing those areas can vote on these matters in the House of Commons. In 2014, the morning after Scotland voted to stay as part of the United Kingdom, David Cameron announced on the steps of Downing Street that this “so-called West Lothian questionrequires a decisive answer”. He made it clear that he felt that

Editors: Jack May & Freya Sanders Founded 1999 Volume 17

English MPs should have their say over issues of tax, spending, and welfare, crucially adding that “all this must take place in tandem with, and at the same pace as, the settlement for Scotland”. Having tasked William Hague with drawing up the proposals, it was his successor as Leader of the House, Chris Grayling who presented

The real tension will come in deciding on whether a bill relates to England or the whole UK the plans to parliament. Under the new system, new stages will be added to the law-making processes in the form of a Grand Committee consisting solely of English MPs who would be able to exercise a veto over any parts of the bill to which they objected. Interestingly, it will be the Speaker who makes the judgement call as to whether the bill in question is an English-only matter or a national issue, and thus whether English MPs will be allowed to veto parts they do not approve of. However, the government repeatedly reinforced the

point that despite the veto, the bills in question would still be voted on in the end by all MPs. Unsurprisingly, the SNP MPs in Westminster have fiercely opposed the government’s changes. For them, this amounts to treating them as “second class MPs”. Pete Wishart, the SNP MP for Perth and North Perthshire, made it clear that in his view, this bill increases the support for independence. However, the SNP were never going to support any bill which gives English MPs within the legislature more power than their counterparts from the devolved nations which make up the United Kingdom. The real tension that will burden the exercise of any such powers will come in making the judgement call on whether a bill simply relates to England and thus English MPs should have a veto or whether it affects the whole United Kingdom, meaning the bill would be treated as usual. This unprecedented power will lie with the Speaker of the House and, with SNP MPs arguing that all bills affect all parts of the United Kingdom, it could prove challenging to implement.

Cambridge’s ties with fossil fuel companies have this week been exposed. An investigation by the climate organisation Greenpeace has shown that the University received £26 million from energy companies in the past five years – of which £15.5 million was in donations and £10.5 million in research projects. In this instance, the University has failed to apply the rigorous academic standards it expects from its students and researchers to its own actions. Whilst research projects, such as those funded by the donations from these energy companies, are key to the work that the University does, and does well, previous research cannot be ignored. The facts are that climate change is a serious issue, and for the university to blithely ignore this is both naive and inconsistent. Much of the research over the past half century that has brought the reality of climate change into the public eye has been led by this University. Similarly, many graduates of this University have gone on to, and continue to aspire to be part of the scientific work both researching the

development of, and the ways to tackle ever worsening climate change. The University is not an impoverished institution. It has an endowment that stretches into the billions, especially when aggregated with the individual endowments of colleges, and the ‘Yours, Cambridge’ campaign, if successful, will only increase the already extensive financial power of the institution. As such, it is indefensible that the University continues to accept money from such unsavoury sources. Those of us who are students here are immensely fortunate to live an work in a centre of immense learning. This is a university in which the groundbreaking ideas of the future are being built daily, and in which it is possible to immerse yourself entirely in new ideas. As such, this is a university in which a large proportion of people are aware of the dangers of not acting decisively on climate change and the use of fossil fuels. The University must commit fully to fossil fuel divestment to make the shift from academic enlightment to practical policy change.

HERRT LAWFORD

Level playing

Inequalities on travel grants must act as a warning After a while, the story from any college-based investigation becomes predictable. There’s almost always a discrepancy of some sort, and there’s always a situation in which students at some colleges get a very good deal whilst students at others are left slightly short-changed. It was the case earlier this year with our investigation into college accommodation costs, it was the case in our last issue with college land ownership, and it remains the case with this week’s investigation into the travel grants awarded by colleges for students’ research purposes. It is easy for these discrepancies to become laughable, and for us to shrug them off as obvious and inevitable. However, in normalising the small slippages of the college system, we stop ourselves from delving into the more problematic parts.

This newspaper applauds the stated aim of new CUSU president Priscilla Mensah in aiming to pin the colleges to the mast on their academic and welfare provisions, and hopes that her efforts will be successful. Arbitrary inequalities caused by the college system must not be allowed to pervert the quality of the student experience at Cambridge. That being said, the situation with travel grants is in many ways unique. Many of these grants come from specific donations from alumni – both living and deceased – and as such are tied to the purposes for which they were given. It would be wrong to go against the wishes of these alumni by centralising these grants, particularly when that might mean going against the wishes of the dead. For now, this college inequality must act as a warning of others elsewhere.

29 October 2015 • The Cambridge Student

Comment

The Cambridge Union and its friends: A depressing microcosm of British politics Jonty Liebowitz

o Julian Assange is on his merry way to Cambridge after all (via videolink). Yes, the latest chapter in the tedious saga of ‘The Cambridge Union and The Meaning of Free Speech’ has delivered a thrilling conclusion; the controversial invitation of a controversial speaker has created so much controversy that there has been a controversial referendum, and now it seems that the controversial speaker will be speaking after all. The saga has spewed countless columns in student publications, cyberwars, Facebook posts, and conversations in the dingy corners of the Maypole. And what has it left us with? A depressing bout of deja vu, a headache, and a sense that we’re destined to have the free speech debate forever and ever. But instead of settling for this boring status quo, students of Cambridge should expect more from their union, student press and major institutions. As we tire ourselves out with the same old prepackaged conversations about free speech, safe spaces and the role of debate, we run the risk of becoming a broken record, or at the very least a record stuck on an annoying loop.

Even worse, it’s easy to look at the these institutions and notice the similarities between their structural flaws and – dare we say it – the deep flaws of the elite establishment that runs the country. It might be an old cliché to call Cambridge a microcosm of the privileged upper-orders of British society, but that’s only because it’s still, unfortunately, so true. Take the Union. An out of touch institution that pretends to ‘speak for Cambridge’, but is actually a breeding ground of infighting, careerism and, worst of all, self-perpetuating fake controversies and attention-hogging stories that run on and on and endlessly repeat themselves. Sure, there are some exceptionally good and talented people at the Union, but something about the institution itself means that the place isn’t quite the sum of its parts. Sound familiar? You could be forgiven for mistaking the Union for SW1, indistinguishable from the dismal world of Cameron, Corbyn and co. Then we have the student press. It’s yet another boring cliché to compare The Tab to the red-top press, but when The Tab suckles from the teat of the Union ‘controversy’ with sensationalist headlines such as “Is the Union in meltdown?”, it’s all too easy to conclude that something is

Students of Cambridge should expect more from its major institutions

rotten in the state of Cambridge. Although the Cambridge student media has the capacity to be honourable and do good, and in doing so can inspire change, but in general the student press has become an echo-chamber for the trumped-up world of sensationalism, fake-debate and repetitiveness. Oh, and sometimes it asks us about whose rear we like. All of this serves to demean the very institutions that should make life as a student so enriching. A debating union that serves as the intellectual hub of a vibrant community. Student media that enquires deep into the heart of our town. Don’t even get me started on CUSU, and what it should and shouldn’t be doing as a representative body. Student politics should be confidently projecting outwards to the world like it did in the 1960s (go and read Hitch-22 and tell me you’re not jealous), not stuck inside making faces at itself in the mirror. So yes, Julian Assange is coming to speak and yes, the free speech debate is back with a vengeance. But as you read about controversy at the Union, or mull over yet another think-piece in a student paper (no irony here, please), consider this: maybe, just maybe, we deserve better than this whole sorry story.

Men cannot be a part of sex positivity

Jade Hope

he sex-positivity movement has infiltrated mainstream feminism, usually in discussions regarding so-called ‘hook-up culture’. A sex-positive individual may see sexual experimentation as a fundamental aspect of their own personhood, yet respect the decisions of other people to refrain from such activities. In theory, implementing sex-positivity as a rudimentary aspect of society could be the answer to many Western feminist issues. Slut-shaming, the media’s objectification of women, female-specific homophobia. It’s possible that a universal acceptance that women’s sexual choices are their own, and that they do not exist for male consumption could diminish the prevalence of such issues. Obviously sexual freedom is not going to lead us to a feminist utopia, but female sexual autonomy is an end in itself. In practice, however, I’ve found that the movement is not quite as rosy as it first appears. Whilst sex-positive women are throwing confetti and crying tears of relief about their newfound sexual freedom, the movement is forgetting the fundamental point on which it was founded. We did not give our sexualities to men. They took them. We did not ‘allow’ men to view us as consumable. They just do. Therefore we cannot gently ‘reclaim’ our

sexualities – we need to forcefully rip it out of their hands. Thanks to the universal implementation of patriarchal ideals, men are born and raised with an expectation of entitlement and this is still evident in many heterosexual (and other) relations. As time goes on, it becomes clearer that men are still preoccupied with the dichotomy of ‘slut’ and ‘girlfriend-material’. After much self-indulgent analysis (and regrettable heterosexual encounters) I’ve reached my own settlement. I’m not interested in one night stands. I’m also not interested in relationships. I am, however, interested in the best bits of both. It seems that men are physically incapable of understanding this concept. A female… to have sex with… on a semi-regular basis? So, a fuck-buddy? No…a girlfriend. No? I also don’t exist to fulfil male emotional needs through the outlet of a relationship, but because women (in the eyes of men) either do one or the other, I’m left with no true purpose in life. How deeply upsetting. The omnipresence of feminist discourse in academic settings like Cambridge has allowed many individuals who would not typically identify as ‘feminist’ an insight into the analytical vocabulary and ideologies we use. A man once said to me, with a disdainful sigh, that I could not identify as a sex-positive feminist because I kindly declined his offer of a one night stand.

We need to rip our sexualities out of male hands

Do college aut JCRs enough Hayden Banks

Men are not respectful of sex positivity as a feminist movement. They are gleefully rubbing their hands at the prospect of more women consenting to a rather disappointing four-minute encounter. For reference, check Alana Massey’s argument that men are not joining in the fight – they’re simply reaping the benefits. Whilst the sex-positivity movement is commended for opening the eyes of many women to their own oppression and objectification, I am not convinced that there is such a thing as a ‘sex positive male’. STUART CAIE

t became apparent this week in the light of bop cancellations at Queens’ that the relationship between college JCRs and higher authorities is increasingly fraught. The decision by the college Dean to suspend bops for the remainder of Michaelmas was met by staunch opposition from certain individuals, who questioned how much autonomy the JCR Committee have over decisions affecting the college. I myself as a member of Queens’ JCR Committee am becoming increasingly sceptical of our ability to instigate change and represent the student body effectively. This bop cancellation is not an anomaly. Queens’ is swiftly becoming notorious for its failure to host the events without scandal, and the Dean clearly wished to exert his authority to prevent further damage to the college’s reputation. It’s a sure enough example of the JCR being overruled without negotiation. However, I don’t think we should allow this fairly trivial case to cloud our understanding of the many important areas the JCR work on to combat the often archaic nature of this University, primarily regarding access and equal opportunities for women, ethnic minorities and LGBT+ students. We should be questioning whether JCR access roles are merely ticking a box or offering students a real position of responsibility with the potential to erase deeply embedded injustices.

The Cambridge Student • 29 October 2015

JIMMY APPLETON

Cycling safety is an imperative Mary Nower

ambridge is at war. Though it may not be as well known as town vs gown or John’s vs everyone else, it is a bitter dispute, raged from time immemorial by all who live here. There have been casualties on both sides (a pedestrian knocked down outside little Waitrose, or when someone brutally caused me to career into a fence). It is a war of attrition which will continue long after the Gardies vs Van of Life dispute is resolved. Everyone has a side, with spies for each front making occasional forays into enemy territory, only to return to the true path. It is, of course, the hard-fought and dangerous battle of cyclists vs pedestrians. For two long years in Cambridge, I was, resolutely, a sick-of-it-all pedestrian, tired of kamikaze madmen; jumping red lights, treating zebra crossings with contempt and regarding the one-way system with the relaxed blasé attitude familiar to anyone clubbing the night before an 8am supervision. They mow down innocent walkers, hurling abuse at perfectly reasonable actions, such as walking down Rose Crescent (where no cyclists are allowed – not that it seems to matter to the harried-looking, wild-eyed John’s medic leaving at 10 past for a 9am lecture). They are rude, dangerous and seem to My experiences thus far in my role have only the vaguest of acquaintances have been mixed. Disillusioned by the with the rules of the road. They are a regional and educational homogeneity menace to the mild-mannered passerby.

thorities give autonomy?

of the Queens’ intake I applied for access officer to combat these disparities. Yet thus far I have been thwarted in my efforts by a bureaucratic system that often places financial gain above its commitments to equal representation. This was most clearly evident when the college bursar announced an increase in room prices despite protest from me and others that this would be detrimental to access. Moreover, my attempt to establish a residential event aiming to increase intake from Bradford, one of Queens’ College’s link areas, is now only on offer for students from Kent due to transport costs; proving completely counter-productive from an access point of view given the already high intake from the South East. I realise these issues are specific to Queens’ and my position as access officer, yet they highlight the difficulties JCRs face when pitted against the bureaucratic nature of Cambridge colleges. Many committee members quite rightly seek to involve themselves in University-wide groups such as the Women’s Campaign and FLY to instigate change more effectively. Whilst colleges are to be commended for their desire to give students a voice, the credibility of the JCR depends on more than this. Having a voice is all well and good, but if it continues to fall on deaf ears then the JCR will remain tokenistic.

Comment

They are, in essence, awful. But then the tables turned: my allegiance switched faster than a porter detecting someone on the grass. I became one of those I had previously despised; for two months over the summer, I became a cyclist. During this time, I realised how mistaken I’d been. It is, in fact, pedwestrians who are the most infuriating plague to roam this fair city. They step out without looking. They are blissfully unaware and ignorant of the difference between a pavement and a road. They tell me to “read the sign” when if they had, in fact, read the sign, they would know I was actually doing nothing wrong. I was instructed by my Cambridge resident friends to gain some ‘cycling zen’, where you let the stupidity of pedestrians and other cyclists wash over you like a sad tide and get on with your day regardless. But I had none: pedestrians are terrible. Now, as I tread an unsteady path, with a foot on both the pedals and the pavement, I can, at last, regard the argument with clarity which had before alluded me. The truth is that neither pedestrians, nor cyclists are, as a collective, awful: you just have a few turds who ruin it for everyone else. Now, it might seem hard to believe that at this point in term, when a flood of remarkably uninformed idiots have taken to the road (and, occasionally, the pavement), but it is true. The problem is that the current situation doesn’t

I tread an unsteady path, with a foot on both the pedals and the pavement

improve fast enough: you are reliant on the shouts of “It’s a one way system”, maps of cycle routes and yells of “Stop at the red lights, dumbass” gradually filtering through to those who have recently taken to the wheels. Safe cycling at this point is primarily the domain of those who bothered going to the cycling safety booth at the freshers fair for information, rather than a free bike seat cover. Those who missed or were not offered a cycling proficiency course as a child have likely never had any formal instruction in cycling safely, and yet soon find themselves attempting to negotiate Trinity Street on a weekend. But an end is in sight: there could be an armistice on the cards. The solution? Well, cycling safety courses should become a stalwart of every college Freshers’ Week. Cycling maps, which clearly demarcate cycle lanes, the one-way system and roads with a no bike policy, should be in every freshers welcome pack. A leaflet, which concisely summarises the relevant parts of the Highway Code, such as lights and crossings, should be placed in every pigeon hole, and a copy should accompany every bike sale in the city. Cyclists should be aware and read signs (for example, the Jesus Green footbridge sign says ‘Cyclists Dismount’ not ‘Cyclists dismount if it pleases your majesty’). And finally, stop for pedestrians on the zebra crossing outside the Round Church: it’s the law. Happy cycling everybody! CHAD KAINZ

29 October 2015 • The Cambridge Student

Sport

A life in sports reporting: The BBC’s Dan Roan Rugby Dispa EL OBSERVADOR

Paul Hyland Sport Editor

an Roan, Cambridge alumnus and Sport Editor at the BBC, says “my dream was to be reporting on the 10 o’clock news. I just wanted to cover stories for the BBC. I didn’t think sport at that point, I just wanted to cover news.” An active student journalist, graduating from Cambridge with a degree in Social and Political Sciences in 1998, Roan joined the BBC Trainee Scheme the same year, and found himself quickly moving up. Stints at regional news programs, such as Look North and North of Westminster followed, along with the opportunity to report on TV and radio for the very first time. So how did this self-confessed lover of political journalism find himself dedicating a career to sport? ‘‘In ’03 when I applied to join Sky News as a junior reporter, I didn’t quite get it, but

Sky Sports News were interested. In 2003 I left ‘the Beeb’ and went to be a reporter with Sky Sports News. I loved it. Within three years of starting I was going to the World Cup in Germany.” Roan, who describes himself as a born generalist, which set him up for a career in journalism, credits his political education and background in regional news for giving him an edge over other sports reporters: “A lot of sports journalists are really just sports fans. I was able to focus on the politics of sport, not just the sport itself. There was news about FIFA, corruption, legal cases, and I was the only one really passionate about that. I really do think that it’s because I’d been a news journalist before.” One of sports journalism’s greatest challenges, I suggest, is to show that sport is not just the afterthought at the end of the paper, and that the back page can be just as newsworthy as the front. Sentiments

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shared, emphatically, by Roan: “There’s no doubt it’s a challenge to explain why sport’s not just the thing that comes at the back of the newspaper. People are beginning to realise and appreciate just how relevant sport is, and how it isn’t just about escapism. This year, I think I’ve done the lead story on [the 6 and 10 o’clock] news probably about 15 times already. I’ve never known that before.” Indeed the last 12 months have forced sport increasingly away from the back pages and towards the front. FIFA scandal came to a head this year with arrests of FIFA officials in May and criminal proceedings against Sepp Blatter. Ched Evans’ release from prison 12 months ago launched a national debate about the nature of our justice system. Lance Armstrong accepted charges of doping in 2013, and admitted in an interview with Roan earlier this year that “he’d probably do it again.” “I think sport is just so rich in its narratives and having the responsibilities to help tell those stories is a real privilege,” Roan says. However, it’s a privilege that entails a significant set of responsibilities. His experience of the World Cup in Germany leads me to ask about the World Cup in Brazil. Brazil, I argue, neither wanted nor needed the tournament. Could it ever feel conflicted to report on the sport against a backdrop of civil unrest? “I didn’t feel conflicted as a reporter. We went to interview people who didn’t want the World Cup there. “We went to show a favela, where there was great poverty and made the point that there were many people who would have preferred all the funds spent on the most expensive World Cup in history to be spent alleviating poverty. One thing I’m deadly serious about is never being a cheerleader for sports events. We always have to hold those in power to account.” One of the sporting powers doing all it can to avoid being held to account, as ever, is FIFA. As the new presidential candidates ready their campaigns to replace Sepp Blatter, currently under investigation for a ‘disloyal payment’ to UEFA Chief, Michel Platini, I ask Roan whether the shroud of secrecy around the ongoing FIFA scandal is frustrating, and whether he shares my fears that February’s election might throw football out of the frying pan and into the fire. “Without a doubt. Last week FIFA held an executive committee meeting and didn’t even hold a press conference at the end of it. Many believe that the best way of proceeding is to have a clean start, and there’s definitely a fear among many of us that removing Blatter isn’t going to be the panacea of football’s problems.” Yet his fears give way to a cautiously optimistic view of FIFA’s future: “They are reforming. They’re introducing term limits, greater transparency and accountability. “It’s certainly a pivotal moment. I think FIFA’s travails have come to symbolise a tipping point for sport. It’s something that goes so far beyond football.” Read the full interview on tcs.cam.ac.uk

Connor Lempriere

his semi-finals weekend brought something of a change of scenery to my Rugby World Cup, as I swapped the relative exoticism of south Wales for the more relaxed environs of the Portland Arms on Chesterton Road. My excitement at encountering a succession of rugby-mad (and sometimes just plain mad) Irishmen in Cardiff drinking establishments was replaced with a sudden realisation. In the more genteel atmosphere of Cambridge, I am that mad Irishman. Still, I’m sure that the lovely French couple at the other end of the bar very much appreciated hearing my opinion on how they must sack their manager Philippe Saint-André and start playing proper French rugby again. I’m sure they will have passed my advice on to the FFR posthaste as Saint-André’s future is coming increasingly under scrutiny. Indeed, I must say that the conviviality that rugby so uniquely breeds had translated nicely to the Chesterton Road area, especially on Sunday. As the unifying element of a good underdog to cheer on, left the Australians in the room looking a little isolated as we roared on Argentina

Rollerblading: England’ Sophie Penney

very British child remembers rollerblading: careering down the road on blades at full speed, racing their siblings and bashing into trees to stop. But like so many others this craze finished before our teens, when rollerblades went from the height of cool to the weirdest of the weird. France, however, seems to be stuck in the pre-teen period, with rollerblading still a craze. In Paris, roller bladers zooming in between the traffic are common. Surprisingly, on seeing this my first thought was not, “Oh God he’s going

The Cambridge Student • 29 October 2015

Sport

atch: Adiós Argentina American football to receive Half Blue status towards a try which sadly never came. The Pumas unfortunately had, following their encounter with us the previous week, decided to take a leaf out of the Irish book in shipping two soft tries right from kickoff and giving themselves a mountain to climb from the word go. Rob Simmons’ try came within 70 seconds of the kickoff, having intercepted a poor pass from the otherwise brilliant Nicolás Sánchez. Matters got worse for Argentina when Cordero knocked on a simple tap, and Adam Ashley-Cooper was able to take advantage of a wonderful pass out of the resulting scrum and score a try, which was soon converted, to put Australia 14–3 up. Despite a few flashes of brilliance from their mercurial backs, breaking the Australian line just long enough to have us all on our feet before being smothered by covering defenders, and the impressive efficacy of Nicolás Sánchez’s boot, which put five penalties between the Australian sticks to give the score some respectability. Ultimately, one of the tournament’s most exciting outfits were unable to catch the impressive Australians. Nonetheless, after agreeing with my staunchly footballfollowing flatmate to watch the Manchester derby beforehand (a turgid stalemate),

the spectacle provided by both teams represented a satisfying vindication of the merits of rugby in comparison. The real contest of the weekend, however, was of course Saturday’s clash of the Southern hemisphere titans, as a determined and well–marshalled Springbok side made New Zealand appeared to be mortal for the first time in this tournament, at least for the initial 45 minutes. Whilst the All Blacks’ frankly abject discipline in the first half might seem to give Australia some measure of hope for the final, the fact that they managed to close out the game, scoring two tries to nil in the process, in spite of what was, by their standards, a poor performance, for me gives New Zealand the mark of champions. It is hard to envisage any other outcome at Twickenham on Saturday than a second consecutive World Cup for the All Blacks, though I would be more than happy to be proven wrong. A tournament that has been one of the most lively, competitive and at times unpredictable in recent memory deserves a final to match, and not a repeat of the single-try, single-point victory of four years ago. On last weekend’s evidence we can be hopeful it will get what it deserves. MARC

Jack Taverner

he Cambridge University Pythons American Football Club is proud to announce that it has been awarded Half Blue status. This follows the impressive achievements of the players and the club since it reformed in 2011. The Pythons have consistently outperformed all expectations, reaching national playoffs from only their second season onwards, maintaining an unbeaten Varsity record, winning the Eastern Conference Championship last season as well as achieving the 13th UK ranking. Having achieved Half Blue status, this next step in the club’s journey is another sign of the growth of the game in the UK, as more players take up the sport and push the standard of play here ever higher. As such, we are looking to recruit new players to maintain this momentum and growth. We are particularly proud to have an excellent coaching staff on hand to develop every player who wants to get involved. Demonstrating such competitiveness on the field has allowed players with a variety of backgrounds to stand out, even those starting with no prior experience and working their way up through the team and now receiving Blues status.

The Pythons have consistently outperformed all expectations

For 2014/15, players receiving Half Blues were quarterback Joe Yarwood, half-back Joe Yarwood, wide receiver, safety & kicker, Jack Taverner, nose tackle Tim Allen and defensive end Ed Cozens. An important aspect of the club’s efforts is to encourage more women to play what is one of the few mixed contact sports. Now that more women are attending training and taking to the field than ever before, we hope to soon see opportunities to present candidates to the Women’s Blues Committee. We are striving to match other organisations who receive greater institutional support, who can field teams for women’s competitions and act as a feeder to the Great Britain squad. With the success of last year’s Varsity match at the CURUFC stadium on Grange Road, watched by over 1500 people in the stands and online, there is huge amount of excitement surrounding American football in Cambridge. If you’d like to be part of our team, whether as a player, coach or committee member, message us via our Facebook page (facebook.com/ CambridgePythons) or website (pythons. org.uk) as the Club recruits throughout the year. Who knows? It could soon be your name on the growing list of Blues American footballers. JACK TAVERNER

’s childhood craze, France’s serious sport to be hit by a car,” but: “That’s a real-life adult rollerblading, and he’s wearing a helmet! That wasn’t cool when I was seven.” When I got to my sports centre I realised where this man must have been heading: on the running track there were at least a dozen rollerbladers all kitted out, hurtling round the track looking exactly like speed skaters, minus the ice. Intrigued, I investigated and it turns out France is rollerblading mad: on Sundays some roads in Paris are closed for rollerblading; they organise meet-ups where large groups can rollerblade together; and they have an extreme sports event

every year called ‘Menil’Descente’ where bladers gather to descend a notoriously dangerous course in front of huge crowds. In fact, at last month’s ‘20 kilomètres Paris’ event, a 20k run in the centre of the city, there was even a rollerbladers’ category! The French may view it as a genuine sport, but I find it hilarious seeing adults on rollerblades, and impossible to take them seriously. If you saw someone rollerblading to work with a briefcase in hand, you would think them completely mad. In France this pastime has transcended age to become a sport and mode of transport.

Sport

29 October 2015 • The Cambridge Student

American Football: Cambridge Pythons granted Half-Blue status → p. 19

www.tcs.cam.ac.uk/sport

34 29

William Lyon Tupman

fter a first minute in which both teams notched up goals, Cambridge took the initiative, with the score at 11-16 in their favour after the first quarter. Though Oxford started brightly in the second, Cambridge replied with several successive goals to leave Oxford trailing, and though the dark blues regained their momentum they could do little to prevent Cambridge’s 18-13 lead going into the third quarter. The break came at the worst possible time for Oxford, who lost their momentum and ceded the lion’s share of possession to their rivals. Though both teams played commendably, Cambridge extended their lead. In the final quarter, Oxford rallied, the dark blues scoring a number of goals almost without response. It looked like a remarkable comeback might have been in the offing. But the final stages saw Cambridge reinstate their convincing lead. A fantastic game contested by two fantastic teams saw Cambridge lead Oxford 34-29 at the buzzer.

Cambridge Exeter

13 11

Emily Birch

re-match jitters were calmed by some considered attacking play in the early stages, with Sophie Morrill taking control of the ball and powering home the first goal for the light blues. We continued to dominate and forced a turnover that resulted in a quick goal from Man of the Match, Julie Wise. But the light blues could not capitalise, as we let a set of frustrating goals following poor defending. The score at 11–10 to Cambridge, the light blues remained composed and forced through the two final goals. Everden’s goal out of nothing was a sucker punch for the Exeter team, whose 11th goal was little other than a consolation. We were behind 9-6 for the first time in the game, and had clearly panicked. Captain Eleanor Duck called a time out and helped the team regain composure. Determined to see the game through, Cambridge kept composure when in possession but for the final two minutes of the match Cambridge executed effective possession play to secure a dramatic win.

Cambridge Oxford

Men’s Football

Cambridge Oxford

Women’s Lacrosse

Women’s Netball

Great day for Cambridge teams against local rivals 1 1

Jack Cogdon

n a dress rehearsal for this year’s Varsity Match, Oxford took control of the early stages, and found themselves 1-0 ahead of their bitter rivals thanks to a wonderful free kick into the top corner that left light blues ‘keeper Henry Warne stranded. Controversy soon followed, as Cambridge thought they had done enough to level the tie soon after the opener, but the ball was adjudged to have been just the wrong side of the line. Not to be discouraged, Cambridge started the second half on the front foot, but found themselves on the receiving end of a harsh second yellow card for left-back George Herring. Ten-man Cambridge were undeterred, and striker Alex Gaskell came out of nowhere to take an advantage of a goalkeeping error and level the game at 1-1. The final fifteen minutes featured classic backs-to-the-wall stuff from the light blues, anxious to keep the ball out of their net. Cambridge held on, and maintain their unbeaten start to the league season.