The Cambridge Student by The Cambridge Student

18 January 2018 Vol. 19 Lent Issue 1

www.tcs.cam.ac.uk

Cambridge Student

Robinson JCR endorses their College’s ‘Cut the Rent’ campaign News Team

he ‘Cut The Rent’ campaign is starting to gather momentum in Cambridge, a year and a half after students at UCL made the front pages for refusing to pay their rents. Students at Robinson College have recently launched their own ‘Cut the Rent’ petition to call for lower and fairer rents, joining the wider University campaign group in their efforts. Other colleges including Magdalene, Murray Edwards and Corpus Christi are setting their own movements in motion, with the CUSU council voting in support of the motion in November. Almost a third of all Murray Edwards undergraduates backed the college’s petition. The campaign first kicked off at UCL, spreading quickly to other University campuses. UCL students launched it with three ambitions in mind. Firstly to “address the problems in halls while people are still living in them, no one deserves to live in squalor”. To “improve living conditions instead of demolishing these halls and to continue to freeze the rents in halls”. The peak of their campaigning was achieved in July of last summer when the students received a £1.5 million pledge from the university, following a five month rent strike. More than 1,000 students took part, holding back in excess of £1 million from their universities. This November, the campaigners also won an accommodation bursary of £600,000. £300,000 of this will

be “automatically allocated” to domestic students, £200,000 for international students and a £100,000 fund for any students living in UCL Accommodation. The petition at Robinson, which currently has around 80 signatures at the time of writing, states that the college has significant problems with access and that despite being “one of the most egalitarian and relaxed colleges in which to live and work”, its appeal has been “undermined by the unaffordable rents they charge”. Matt Kite, one of Robinson College’s ‘Cut the Rent’ founders has said, “Robinson students pay some of the highest rents at any college, and the number of rooms in the most affordable category is far too low; all but three of the 2017 freshers have to pay more than £1600 per term for a 10-week lease. Continuing to charge students so much, and ignoring the repeated attempts of successive JCR committees to prevent further increases, flies in the face of the college’s stated commitment to improving access to the college and to creating an ‘egalitarian’ atmosphere for those studying here. So long as students continue to pay extortionate rates for their rooms, the material barriers to access will remain and welfare will suffer. We hope that college will respond quickly to students’ concerns and cut the rent.” Robinson College grounds, the centre of the ‘Cut the Rent’ campaign Continued on page 4

CREDIT: iván merker

18 January 2018 • The Cambridge Student

News

Editorial Team Editorial: new beginnings start here 18 January 2018

Volume 19 • Lent Issue 1

Editors-in-Chief

Juliette Bretan, Molly Moss

Deputy Editors

Will Bennett, Caithlin Ng

News Editor

Eddie Spence

Science Editor

Nol Swaddiwudhipong

Features Editor

Jane O’Connor

Comment Editors

Iván Merker, Josephine Skorupski

Interviews Editor

Munira Rajkotwalla

Columns Editor

Hannah Dyball

Sports Editor

Finn Ranson

Juliette Bretan Editor-in-Chief

elcome to the first issue of The Cambridge Student for Lent 2018. It’s been a year since I first joined TCS as an innocent Features Editor - and now here I am with the magnificent Molly Moss, in charge of this gorgeous paper. I still can’t quite believe it. Michaelmas saw TCS bloom into a fabulous statement of inclusivity under the wing of the sensational Sophie Dickinson, and I am immensely proud to now play a role in continuing our promotion of liberal and refreshing content. Molly and I decided to focus on the theme of ‘beginnings’ for The Thursday Magazine - we are so excited to move forward with the paper across the next eight weeks, but we also acknowledge that beginnings can be based on the

magnificence of what has come before. Indeed, we’re working on a plethora of phenomenal issues across this term to both continue and expand on our paper’s ideals - look out for some inspiring content, photoshoots and opinions. This issue is no exception: we have a selection of compelling Features pieces, a gripping debate in Comment, whilst the Thursday Magazine, as per usual, is dripping with radiance. We even have two gorgeous creative writing pieces in this week’s edition, to inspire and encourage you to seek new approaches. We’re also really looking forward to promoting our social media; we have a cute new Twitter hashtag, #Cambridgeandbeyond, which will be used to highlight news stories which have had influence in and outside the

bubble. We’re also going to be adding much more to our Instagram. Make sure you’ve followed all our accounts to keep up with our latest news and developments - and there wil be quite a few. In the spirit of beginnings, I want to end my first editorial with a message to you, our readers. Beginnings may seem difficult to find and even, perhaps, out-of-reach when you’re stuck in the monotony of a Cambridge term. But I promise they can be found wherever you look; anytime, anywhere. Build on your pasts, reach for your futures, be who you want to be. This term, TCS is going to be doing just that - and we are so glad you’re sharing it with us.

drips: Top university posts photos of exam halls online after snowflake students feel “stressed” over sitting tests in an “unfamiliar environment’”. In light of this, TCS is proud to continue offering a platform for Cambridge students to make their voices and beliefs heard. New columnists this term include Isabella Leanderson who looks at the depictions of same-sex love across different cultures, Rebecca Heath, who points out important statistics around gender inequality within the University, and Hannah Dyball’s column on gaming . In this edition we also have a range

of features detailing everything from celebrating Cambridge and yourself to not letting stress get the better of you. The theme in this issue of the Thursday Magazine is Beginnings, encouraging a myriad of fresh perspectives. On this note, we are always keen to hear your article ideas, so contact the paper at any point in term to see your writing platformed in TCS. This term, we will maintain TCS’s role as both a source of information within Cambridge and a platform for those whose voices are often overlooked or dismissed.

Molly Moss Editor-in-Chief Theatre Editor

Alex Mirosevic-Sorgo

Fashion & Beauty Editors

Lydia Karayianni, Steve Treherne

Lifestyle Editor

Holly MacAskill

Sex and Relationships Editors

Celia Morris, Nadia Razali

Books Editor

Ellen Birch

Chief Sub Editors

Lia Johansen, Catherine Mullier

Staff Illustrators

Emil Sands, Kitya Mark

Directors

Will Tilbrook Sophie Dickinson Urvie Pereira

n recent weeks the furore surrounding Theresa May’s appointment of no-platforming obsessive Toby Young to the board of the Office for Students has been at the centre of arguments about the snowflakery and privilege of students. On top of this, as ever, Cambridge students haven’t been able to report on sensitive issues without national media sensationalising it. Earlier this week, The Sun ran the article ‘Cambridge University under fire for pandering to stressed ‘snowflake’ students scared of exam halls’ along with the Daily Mail’s ‘The Cambridge

The Cambridge Student takes complaints about editorial content seriously. We are committed to abiding by the Independent Press Standards Organisation rules and the Editors’ Code of Practice enforced by IPSO, and by the stipulations of our constitution. Requests for corrections or clarifications should be sent by email to editor@tcs.cam.ac.uk or by post to The Editor, The Cambridge Student, Cambridge University Students’ Union, 17 Mill Lane, Cambridge, CB2 1RX. Letters to the Editor may be published.

Almost half of May’s new Cabinet educated at Oxbridge Soniya Priya Investigations Editor Following the recent reshuffle by Theresa May, 48% of cabinet ministers graduated from Oxford or Cambridge, new analysis conducted by the Sutton Trust foundation has revealed. Although under pressure to differentiate her government from that of David Cameron’s, May’s new cabinet contains nearly as many Oxbridge-educated ministers as that

of her predecessor (50%). This is hardly surprising, as the cabinet only actually incudes 8 new ministers. A further 35% of the new cabinet attended Russell Group universities, with only 4 women in the cabinet, although they are joined by a further 4 female politicians who attend cabinet meetings. Just months earlier, over 100 crossparty MPs called on Oxbridge to widen and diversify admissions offers, when it emerged that students from the upper and middle classes gained 81% of places at Oxbridge in 2015.

Allegations of ‘elitism’ are hurled at the cabinet and Oxbridge in equal measure, not least concerning the link between the two. Despite May’s apparent intention to create a more diverse front bench representative of the population, 34% of the new cabinet is privately educated. This is in stark contrast to 7% of the general public. In addition, 24% of the new cabinet attended selective state schools, whilst 41% had received a comprehensive state education.

This comes after May’s previous endorsement of selective state education and now-abandoned plans for additional grammar schools, despite numerous studies showing that selective state schools do not promote social mobility. Dr Lee Elliot Major, chief executive of the Sutton Trust, said: “Theresa May made great progress in the composition of her first cabinet, so it is disappointing that yesterday’s reshuffle means that progress has reversed a little. The prime minister’s cabinet has to

reflect the society that they represent and this is a step in the wrong direction.” Nonetheless, the proportion of state-educated ministers in the new cabinet (66%) represents a significant increase as compared with the proportion under Cameron (50%). Following the ministerial changes, May said the reshuffle makes the government look “more like the country it serves”. She went on to say that the movements showcased a “new generation” of “fresh talent”.

The Cambridge Student • 18 January 2018

News

Unmissable highlights of Lent term From music to art to conferences, Lent term promises extraordinary events Juliette Bretan Editor-in-Chief

ften known as the term that drags, Lent has a difficult place in the Cambridge calendar; stuck between the exuberance of ‘fresher’s term’ Michaelmas, and the stressful yet eventually glorious period that is Easter. But Lent, contrary to first impressions, is not merely a no-man’s land of aimless study - this term certainly will bring with it a packed calendar of fantastic events, talks and experiences, all of which should not be missed. Of course, for those with Union

membership, the term will already seem vibrant: visits from Pelé, Orlando Bloom and James Blunt are sure to compel, whilst the abundance of topical debates, with speakers including Jacob Rees-Mogg, Fearne Cotton and Nicky Morgan, promise a bounty of exciting days. Then there is the Union Spring Ball, dubbed Chromium, which is scheduled for 10th March, with advertisements requesting members to visit “to see the Union transform from 2018 to the year 2081”. Thrilling evening entertainment will also be hosted at Cambridge’s nightclubs: a visit to Cindies by Dick and

Dom is scheduled for 23rd January, whilst Tinchy Stryder will be appearing on 27th January. Life is holding a ‘90’s Rewind’ on 21st January, whilst Lolas will be transformed into a ‘Grandma Groove’ on 30th January. May Ball Committes will be launching their themes this term, with a selection of offers for those who buy tickets. This Friday, Murray Edwards’s bar will again be home to a “groovy” second-hand sale, following the success of their last sale, which sold 150 items and raised £200 for Women’s Environmental network. International culture talks for this term include a discussion of Medieval

Russia at Sidney Sussex on 1st February, and a one-day conference, also at Sidney Sussex, on Polish Britain on 9th February. The 2017/2018 Cambridge Medieval Literature and Culture Seminar will also host a talk titled “Cato, Alexander the Great, Ulysses: One Hero of Medieval Literature” on 8th March. The Fitzwilliam Museum is holding an exhibition on Codebreakers and Groundbreakers until 4th February. Kettle’s Yard will reopen on 10th February, with a exhibition titled ‘Actions. The image of the world can be different’ showcasing the works of 38 artists. The University Library will be

hosting Landscapes Below until 29th March, which celebrates a period of experimental geological map-making in the 19th century. Music-wise, King’s will be the setting for a Verdi Requiem concert on 27th January. St John’s College Chapel will be opening its doors on 3rd February to their Herbert Howells Organ Scholar Glen Dempsey, who will be performing two new commissions from Composer in Residence Michael Finnissy, as well as works by Howells, Byrd, and Messiaen. JOHANNES BLACK

Ex-prisoner’s sculptures in University library Professor says mental health care inadequate Will Bennett Deputy Editor

x-convict Tom Phillips has recently had his artwork put on display for the first time at Cambridge’s Radzinowicz Library at the Institute of Criminology. He completed a two and-a-half-year sentence just before Christmas, which was meted out to him for owning a 98-year-old antique pistol and ammunition. He spent his time behind bars crafting his wares with “various types of soap we were able to scrounge from around the prison”. He created his “own tools out of matchsticks and bits of broken plastic ruler.” After nine months he built Dante’s fireplace, based on Auguste Rodin’s

He spent his time behind bars crafting his wares

Gates of Hell. The creation has won him a Platinum Award from the Koestler Trust, a charity set up to support prison art. The work was bought for the library’s collection for about £800, £300 of which went straight into Phillips’ account. Phillips also found the time in prison to teach music to his fellow inmates, even producing an album with proceeds going to charity. He argued that “the advantage to being in prison is you have months upon months to spend on a single piece of art,” claiming he was “really happy that [Cambridge] bought [his piece]” so that he could provide for his family. He also said he was “trying to...show that transformative prison education is really a force for good,” stating he had seen how art could transform lives.

Juliette Bretan Editor-in-Chief

rofessor Ian Goodyer OBE, Professor of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry at the University of Cambridge, has detailed his view of the UK’s mental health crisis, claiming he feels care is insufficient. In an interview on the St John’s College Alumni Medium blog, Professor Goodyer argued “currently mental illnesses emerging in the youth population remain undetected and untreated in around 80% of cases,” going on to state that “of 1.2 million children and adolescents who may have benefited from mental health assessment and possibly treatment, only around 150,000 were even referred.” He promoted

“New treatments should be sought”

research as a method of reducing the pressures on the current system, with local authorities and NHS trusts encouraged to work together to help those who need care. He also questioned today’s level of support, noting that “new treatments and interventions should be sought for the severely mentally ill, as current therapeutic approaches are only working in some 65% of cases, leaving many depressed and psychotic young people with no effective therapy and a future likely to consist of recurrent mental illness and increasing personal and social impairments.” Professor Goodyer began lecturing at Cambridge in 1987, and researches human development and psychopathology. His team have recently developed a new psychosocial treatment for depression.

The Cambridge Student • 18 January 2018

News

Cambridge comedian challenges BBC comedy show panellist over gender imbalance Will Bennett Deputy Editor

fter tweeting BBC panel show Would I Lie to You every week asking ‘why only one woman?’, Ruby Keane of Stockings comedy and Cambridge Footlights has finally had a response, kicking off an explosive Twitter thread. Her weekly enquiry riled Claude Littner of The Apprentice earlier today who snapped back in the very early hours of the morning saying, ‘Why only bald 1 man? Why only 1 Welshman? …..’ Keane replied ‘ah yes the three genders: men, bald men and Welsh men’, adding shortly after, ‘and because women make up 50% of the population. Anyway thanks for retweeting me to your 68k followers and raising awareness of sexism in comedy’. Littner was on hand again replying, ‘maybe you are just not a funny comedian, and find it convenient to bring ‘sexism’ into it!’ Keane’s Stockings comedy comrades also quickly weighed in to shut down Mr Littner’s comments. Emma Plowright, fellow Stockingsperformer, tweeted that “the bald man pay gap is the real issue we are all ignoring here’ and Ania MaglianoWright added in jest that ’bald men and welsh men frequently face discrimination in comedy”. She also commented in private that “I probably shouldn’t have expected anything less from a man whose book

is titled ‘single minded’.’ She continued auditioned for my first Smoker in front age’ for women in Cambridge comedy, that “it’s a fine line between just wanting of 8 white men, it’s nice to see some but that’s not good enough because to slam them and make them look like “It’s a progress. And this progress is not an Claude golden ages end. The idea that gender an idiot, and trying to be patient and fine line attempt to take over from men, or take equality has peaked is scary because it Littner explain.” I did a mix of both but clearly any opportunities away from them. It’s implies it could just go downhill again neither were going to work, so I just between about creating more space, so there can blocked once we all graduate. thought better to illuminate that these wanting to be equal opportunities for all genders. So if you’re in first year or second those who year, problems still exist.’ And it matters because it affects or you’re hanging around for a ‘Although people could easily criticise slam them, everyone, not just women. If people tweeted in while, please please go out of your way us for getting into online debates with and trying from a variety of backgrounds feel to make sure this isn’t a golden age, but support keyboard warriors who will never encouraged to get involved in comedy the new norm.’ change their opinion, it can be a useful to explain” if they want to, then we have more Claude Littner subsequently blocked thing to do.’ Keane also highlighted the voices, more angles, and better comedy. many of those who tweeted in support importance of simply drawing attention People have said that this is a ‘golden of Keane. to the issue. RUBY KEANE One of Littner’s latest tweets to a member of the group was a personal attack addressed to Magliano-Wright, calling her a ‘naïve and silly woman’. Commenting on the UK’s comedy scene in general, Keane remarked that it is indeed ‘swarming with sexism and misogyny’. She implied that comedy at Cambridge is blessed in comparison. As President of the Cambridge Footlights she sent the following email to the society’s mailing list on the same evening that the online argument wook place. ‘In 2017, Footlights made history but not for the usual reasons. We had two sold-out Lady Smokers, two soldout BME Smokers, the cast/crew of the International Tour Show was genderbalanced, the Footlights Committee is gender-balanced, and the president and vice-president are both state-educated women. I’m not saying gender inequality in comedy is solved, because it’s not. But considering that just 3 years ago, I Ruby Keane (right) tweeted the panellists, asking why there would be only one woman on the panel

Robinson JCR endorses their ‘Cut the Rent’ campaign News Team

he petition cites the fact that the lowest-costing value rooms are still £1,330 for a ten-week lease – higher than most accommodation at other colleges. Incoming students are also required to live in the College’s main building, where accommodation is particularly high. Statistics from the Big Cambridge Survey 2016 are also included, and show that nearly 60% of Robinson students were “dissatisfied with the value for money” that year. Similarly, only 24% of Magdalene students felt represented regarding accommodation matters in the 2015-

16 survey. Steven Morris, the college’s Senior Bursar, has emphasized the college’s priority of consulting students to Varsity. The college JCR unanimously approved the motion that it did not provide value for money in November-December time. The college’s petition grew at an even faster rate than Robinson’s, garnering over 100 signatures in its first week of publication. The petition makes explicit demands including a 20% reduction in rent and a 25% reduction in kitchen charge, which currently stands at a £190 flat rate. Fourth Year student Angus Satow has spoken of “real grassroots anger” and how “students

are united in demanding better”. The Robinson petition is emphatic that these unfair rents and the quality of accommodation have affected mental health which will have negative consequences on the student experience at Robinson. Low-income students are further disadvantaged by this lack of access. A 20% cut on rents by the College is called for, along with the increased number of value rooms available. The College is also asked to commit to not decreasing the number of rooms in both the standard and value price bands. James Hedge, Robinson’s JCR President commented, “The Robinson College Students Association will formally endorse the Robinson ‘Cut

the Rent’ campaign over the next few days as more and more students sign the petition. Robinson rooms are some of the most expensive at any college, and the number of value rooms (the most affordable) is far too low. This year’s freshers pay an average of £1714 per term, and only four out of the 275 rooms in the main college building are cheaper than £1615 per term. In light of this, the RCSA will do everything it can to support the ‘Cut the Rent’ campaign, as I promised in my manifesto.” Members of Robinson College noted that his Presidential manifesto included the pledge to pressure the college to cut rents.

CREDIT: iván merker

The Cambridge Student • 18 January 2018

News

Cambridge University releases statement rejecting denigration of Regeni’s supervisor Molly Moss Editor-in-Chief

he University of Cambridge yesterday released a statement rejecting “disturbing” efforts to implicate Giulio Regeni’s supervisor Dr Maha Abdelrahman directly in his murder, as part of a continuing campaign to repudiate allegations made against the academic. Regeni, a PhD student at Girton College, was found tortured and brutally murdered on the outskirts of Cairo in February 2016 after travelling to Egypt the previous month. In the aftermath of his death, Italian police launched a murder inquiry which is still underway. The statement has been released by Cambridge University following allegations against Regeni’s supervisor Dr Maha Abdelrahman, a witness in the investigation, in Italy’s La Repubblica newspaper on 2 November 2017. Despite evidence incriminating Egypt’s security forces in the murder, La Repubblica’s article accuses Dr Abdelrahman of commissioning Regeni to research a dangerous topic that he was reluctant to pursue. As a result, the Cambridge academic has been the subject of national media attention. The statement, sent from the ViceChancellor of the University Stephen J Toope to the academic community, condemns the public denigration of Dr Abdelrahman as “shameful” and

“fanned by political expediency”

“fanned by political expediency”, particularly in light of “her willingness to assist”. Toope goes on to say that: “Public speculation about Dr Abdelrahman’s involvement in the case has been inaccurate, damaging and potentially dangerous. It stems from a fundamental misapprehension about the nature of academic research. It demonstrates a lack of understanding of scholarly aims and methods. It shows a failure to understand the intellectual relationship between a PhD student and his or her supervisor. “It is not uncommon for academic research in the humanities and social sciences to impinge on politically sensitive issues. Giulio was an experienced researcher, who had already spent time in Egypt, and was a fluent Arabic speaker. He was using standard academic methods to study trade unions in Egypt.” The statement also says that “the University of Cambridge have repeatedly expressed their willingness to cooperate with the investigation” and that Dr Abdelrahman has “voluntarily handed over material” requested by the Italian authorities. Toope insists that “The University will of course continue to assist authorities as they seek justice for Giulio and his family. It will also defend the right of academics to engage in legitimate and lawful research, wherever they wish to

“the malicious and unfounded allegations”

do so.” In November 2017, 44 academics signed an open letter in support of Dr. Abdelrahman. The letter, published in The Guardian, rejected “the malicious and unfounded allegations made against Dr Maha Abdelrahman in Italy’s La Repubblica newspaper on 2 November 2017”, and asserted that “Giulio nor Dr Abdelrahman were responsible for his death in any way.”

The university’s statement is a further rejection of the allegations made against Dr Abdelrahman. Toope ends the statement by insisting that “this brutal killing calls for justice”, but that “justice will not be served by undermining the very thing that drove Giulio in his brief but inspiring academic career – the search for truth.” TWITTER

Guidelines recommend justifiable Vice Chancellor pay Eddie Spence Senior News Editor

niversities will have to publicly justify the size of the Vice Chancellors pay packet if it exceeds 8.5 times the institutions median salary, under new rules aimed at cracking down on excessive VC salaries. Following a series of revelations regarding astronomical VC pay, particularly the £486,000 per annum salary of Glynis Breakwell, VC of Bath University, the new guidelines aim to ensure that University officials receive “fair, appropriate and justifiable” remuneration. Breakwell subsequently quit following widespread outcry.

“Toope has defended his £365,000 pay packet”

The new guidance also aims to make the remuneration process more transparent. Many Vice Chancellors, including Stephen Troope, Vice Chancellor of Cambridge, sit on the committees that decide their own pay. While Troope is said to ‘leave the room’ when his own pay is discussed, many have raised concerns about the opacity of the process. Professor Troope, who became Vice Chancellor last year, has publicly defended his own £365,000 pay packet. He has also criticised the concept of pay cuts to VCs as “reaffirming the that the UK is not operating in the open market for global talent” Currently 80% of UK institutions lie have a multiplier between 4.5 to 8.5.

Whether or not the Troope’s salary would be over the 8.5 multiplier is unknown. However given it exceeds the average VC salary by £100,000, it is not unlikely Cambridge will breach the new guidelines. The new guidelines, drawn up by the Committee of University Chairs (CUC), have been criticised for being to weak. Compliance with them is voluntary, and The University and College Union (UCU), which represents University staff members, have noted how closely linked the CUC is to the Vice Chancellors. Speaking to The Guardian, UCU general secretary Sally Hunt said: “If we are serious about tackling

CUC saw no evidence of unreasonable pay

the problems of senior pay and perks in our universities, then we need a body not so closely linked to vicechancellors to look at it.” “Last month the CUC said it saw no evidence that most vicechancellors are paid an unreasonable amount. “Ministers have been calling for a check on massive pay hikes for university leaders for years and we have highlighted how many sit on the remuneration committee that sets their own pay.” “The time has come for vicechancellors and their supporters to be removed from the setting of their pay and a national register of senior pay and perks.”

18 January 2018 • The Cambridge Student

College Watch

Images: Jessica McHugh

Hughes Hall

Corpus

Selwyn

Pembroke

Hughes Hall has announced that it will offer to full bursary students from any Cambridge college discounted tickets to its May Ball this year. An email from the May Ball presidents stated that Hughes Hall already has the cheapest tickets of all Balls, and that these discounted tickets will be just over 20% of the full price. The College’s May Ball will take place on 16 June, although little else about it is known at this time. The 2015 May Ball tickets were priced at £139 for a regular dining ticket and £99 for a regular non-dining ticket. Hughes Hall is the first college to offer such disounted prices, and the decision is intended to help improve equality and access. The cheaper tickets will allow more students to attend a May Ball, which the email described as being “such an integral part of the Cambridge student experience.” May Ball tickets for some other Colleges are known to be high, with a pair of tickets to Trinity’s 2017 May Ball costing, for instance, £640. Whether the discount with be introduced at others remains to be seen. Caithlin Ng

Corpus Christi has now launched Parker Library on the Web, a digitised copy of the College’s historic Parker Library. The project is in collaboration with Stanford University in the US, with Stanford University Library building and hosting the multi-functional Parker Library website. Entrusted to the College by the Archbishop of Canterbury in 1574, the Parker Library contains over 550 manuscripts. This includes the earliest history written in English, the Anglo-Saxon Chronicle. Other notable manuscripts are the sixthcentury St Augustine Gospels, which is reportedly the oldest illustrated Latin Gospel Book in existence, and autograph letters from the likes of Anne Boleyn and Martin Luther. The online library is a free public service, and is available for use by institutions around the world. It is the result of four years of digitisation and research by Corpus Christi, the Cambridge University Library and Stanford, with almost 200,000 separate pages having to be copied online. Caithlin Ng

Conservative MP Graham Stuart, who attended Selwyn from 1982-85, has been promoted to the position of Minister for Investment at the Department for International Trade. Stuart, who studied Philosophy and Law at Selwyn, left his studies early to produce a popular ‘What’s on in Cambridge’ guide. He became a Member of Parliament in 2005 for Beverely and Holderness, and was previously a member of the Whips Office. He made his debut at the Despatch Box on 11th January, in footage shown on BBC Parliament. Selwyn College posted a screenshot of the footage on Facebook with the caption “Graham is the first college member to become a minister since Simon Hughes (Lib Dem) during the last 2 years of the coalition government.” He is scheduled to play an important role in directing UK trade policy around the world. He claimed he was ‘delighted’ to work to ‘secure our future prosperity’. He also said that his main priority was to work with his constituents. Juliette Bretan

A Pembroke student has organised an academic conference at the college to discuss abortion rights in the UK and Ireland. Helen Jennings, President of the Conference Committee, has organised the conference entitled ‘The Development of Abortion Rights in a Changing Europe’, which will illuminate issues around abortion. The conference will also consider issues including the upcoming referendum on Ireland’s 8th Amendment, and the impact of Brexit on abortion law across the UK and Ireland. Speaking to TCS, Helen Jennings said: “The committee have panel spaces open to both “pro-choice” and “pro-life” lawyers and academics. The conference we are organising will be entirely focused on the legal framework in place, their interaction with human rights law, and the potential of recent legal and political developments and litigation to change the law.” Molly Moss

The Cambridge Student • 18 January 2018

News

Quiet periods make exam stress worse, official report finds Eddie Spence Senior News Editor

n investigation into the sources of anxiety among Cambridge students taking final exams has warned that so called ‘quiet periods’ in Easter term may be a cause of stress for some students. Quiet periods, in which college bars close early, visitors are banned from the grounds and noise restrictions are more stringently enforced, aim to provide a more peaceful and conducive environment to revision before critical summer exams. However the group, lead by Pro-Vice Chancellor for Education Prof Graham Virgo, who yesterday suggested grade inflation was caused by harder working students, noted that “changes to the college

The review approved of college initiatives to reduce stress

environment during the examination period can add to anxiety.” The Examination Review Final Report, seen by The Mail on Sunday, is the culmination of a two year review into traditional three hour Cambridge exams. The report noted a 50% jump in the 2015-16 number of students receiving ‘alternative arrangements’ for exams, which vary from sitting exams in college to receiving extra time and rest breaks. Some members of the review group were suspicious of students ‘working the system’ to receive concessions on exam arrangements. The report also noted that undergraduates consider exam room unfamiliarity to be a major factor inducing exam stress, leading to the recommendation that exam hall pictures are viewable online. Some

photos were already made available for last years easter examinations, a measure set to be expanded on. Despite the huge rise in students seeking alternative arrangements, the review did approve of college initiatives to reduce stress, which include mindfulness classes and puppy therapy sessions. Speaking to The Mail on Sunday a Cambridge spokesperson said that the university provided: “a comprehensive range of services to help students cope with exam stress.” As such, more students are seeking arrangements designed to avoid panic and anxeity attacks. Although traditionally reserved only for students suffering from dyslexia, dyspraxia among other conditions, special arrangements are gradually becoming normalised. SOLIPSIST~COMMONSWIKI

NEWS BULLETIN Trump feels the Hawking heat Professor Stephen Hawking has warned that Earth would become an unbearably hot world if global temperatures continue to rise. Hawking’s warning follows his previous statements that Donald Trump’s decision to withdraw from the Paris Climate Agreement has doomed the planet. In his series Favourite Places, Hawking explains how Venus is an example of unchecked greenhouse warming. He jokingly added, ‘Next time you meet a climate change denier, tell them to take a trip to Venus. I will pay the fare’, stressing the dangers of denying that climate change is having detrimental effects on our planet. Stephen Hawking made headlines earlier this year when his PhD thesis was made available online. The popularity of the document lead to the Cambridge server crashing.

All systems go for Union redevelopment

Renovation plans for the Cambridge Union to redevelop its home off Bridge Street were yesterday approved by the Cambridge City Council, after years of continuing uncertainties over the construction costs. The renovation plans for the world famous Cambridge Union Society, which has offered Cambridge students the opportunity to meet the likes of Winston Churchill, Theodore Roosevelt and the current Dalai Lama, include the construction of a new building with shops, a restaurant and public spaces offering a new public quarter. The plans to revamp the Union were met with enthusiasm by the city council’s planning committee. Cllr Kevin Blencower, executive councillor for planning, told the Cambridge News that the design would give the city “a big lift” and improve the “poor frontage and view from the street at the moment”.

Pro-Life Group retracts Olufemi free speech statement

Law fellow: grade inflation is down to students Eddie Spence

that students are working harder.”

The Downing Fellow went on to attribute some of the blame to tuition fees: “The motivation for students to work harder and get more out of their studies is party [sic] tuition fees, partly because of the criteria that employers are imposing.” Prof Virgo also gave evidence to a Lords’ economic committee meeting hearing, rubbishing claims that universities inflate grades to maintain their positions on student satisfaction surveys. “If we were desperate to do really well in a student satisfaction survey, we might decide that we would be easier on students and give them an easier time at university so that they were more satisfied. We are not doing that, we want to

Senior News Editor ro-Vice Chancellor for Education and Law Professor Graham Virgo has defended Cambridge from accusations of artificial grade inflation, citing evidence for “students are working harder.” Following the release of data on Thursday showing that number of Firsts awarded by universities is now greater than the number of 2:2s nationwide, Professor Virgo said to The Daily Telegraph: “Students know that in many sectors, if they graduate with a 2:ii, their chance of getting employment in that sector is substantially reduced.” “We do not necessarily need to say that grade inflation is a bad thing. We have analysed it and the evidence is

“Students are working harder”

maintain standards.” Some have accused Virgo of attempting to explain away the phenomena of grade inflation, while others are calling for a fixed proportion of students to receive certain degree classifications. This is likely to prompt fears from many Cambridge students of receiving lower grades due to relatively poor performance compared to rest of the cohort, when nationally speaking they perform highly. Speaking to TCS Prof. Virgo said: “Grade inflation is not neccesarily a cause for concern, because students are motivated by tuition fees and employers imposing an upper second requirement, as well as being a function of universities refocusing improving educational provision and support.”

The Alliance of Pro-Life Students (ALS) has taken back its claim that Lola Olufemi was restricting freedom of speech after she refused to meet with Cambridge Students for Life (CSFL). This claim comes as part of a government investigation into freedom of speech on university campuses.. The information that Olufemi had refused to speak to the group was allegedly given without the group’s permission. ALS still stick by their claim that the Student Union’s Women’s campaign “stole leaflets, put up flyers, talked to Life Society committee members under misleading conditions, and accused them of homophobia”. [ALS nevertheless provides evidence of censorship in Cambridge University from previous years

Cambridge Academics not part of Brexodus from universities

It has been announced that in the past year 2,300 academics have left UK universities. This is a 19% increase in departures from the previous year. Cambridge whereas has undergone a spike in EU academcs, compared to Oxford which has experienced the highest rate of departures. 509 non-UK EU nationals started at Cambridge in 2016/17, following on from 434 who joiuned in 2015/16 and 391 in 2014/15. Layla Moran, Liberal Democrat spokesperson, describes the rise in departures as ‘alarming’ but this has not so far proved the case at Cambridge.

18 January 2018 • The Cambridge Student

News

Column:Tripos gender attainment gap must not be ignored Rebecca Heath

018 has been declared the year of the woman. The year started off with the Golden Globes stars wearing black in solidarity with Time’s Up – a campaign to stop sexual harassment and discrimination. Then, Carrie Gracie, ex-China editor for the BBC, bravely stood down over pay discrimination. Soon, on the 19th January, Cambridge will join the cause, with students wearing black in support with Time’s Up. As the world’s eyes are increasingly looking at gender inequality, how is Cambridge University doing? If that it measured in terms of producing women with First Class honours degrees, the answer appears to be not too well. For many years, there has been a persistent gender attainment gap in the Tripos examinations.As achieving a First is seen as a passport to a lucrative and successful career, this gap could harm Cambridge women’s future. In every year since 2000, a significantly higher percentage of men than women have received a First in Tripos examinations. In 2017, the gender attainment gap stood at 9.2 percentage points across all subjects, not far behind the

largest gender gap since 2000, which was in 2009 (10.3 percentage points). In 2017, the gender gap was over two percentage points ahead of where it was back in 2004 (7.1 percentage points). This overall gender gap may have been explained if more men studied subjects where more Firsts were given, but the data does not support this. In the majority of individual subjects, a significant gender gap exists, as illustrated by the break-down of Part II examination results. In Maths Part II, where 84.1% of students were men, the gender performance gap in favour of men was 26.4 percentage points. In English Part II, where 73.2% of students were women, the gender performance gap in favour of men was not far behind, at 23.5 percentage points. While the overall picture highlights inequality in favour of men, women actually outperformed men in a small number of individual subjects in Part II (Education, Geography, Philosophy and Classics). The gender attainment gap (in favour of women) in Education was 18 percentage points. So, what do all these numbers mean? The university needs to understand the reasons for these differ-

ences, so that anything holding back women, or men, can be successfully addressed. Research by CUSU suggests that more can be done to help women improve attainment. The CUSU women campaign’s 2015 report Mind the Gap found that one in five women felt their gender

One in five women were impacted

negatively impacted their learning experience, compared with only one in 25 men. We all should play our part, whether that involves sparing the time to fill out surveys on our student experiences or standing with those who have experienced harassment and discrimination.

The picture shows inequality in favour of men

Resigned minister Toby Young to Sam Gyimah replaces Jo Johnson set up free school in Cambridge as Universities Minister Caithlin Ng Deputy Editor

oby Young, who recently resigned from the Office for Students following controversy over his appointment, has plans to further involve himself with education in Cambridge. His Knowledge Schools Trust, which currently operates one secondary and three primary schools, is set to open the Cambridge City Free School sometime after 2020. Both Young and the Knowledge Schools Trust advocate free schools and knowledge-based education, with the Trust’s website stating that “Factual knowledge and critical thinking are complementary”. The Trust was approved by the Department of Education in April last year to open the school in Cambridge, with the site most likely to be located adjacent to the city’s airport in the east. Regarding the approval, a Department for Education spokeswoman said: “The Knowledge Trust has a strong record of standards for pupils and the proposals for the Cambridge City Free School were

Young has voiced this passion for free schools

approved because it will offer greater choice for parents when it opens.” Young voiced this passion for free schools in his recent announcement of resignation from the Office of Students, which was published in Spectator magazine: “My appointment has become a distraction from its vital work of broadening access to higher education and defending academic freedom. Education is my passion and I want now to be able to get on with the work I have been doing to promote and support the free schools movement.” TYOUNG8

Eddie Spence Senior News Editor

igher Education Minister Jo Johnson has been replaced by Sam Gyimah, MP for East Surrey, in the recent cabinet reshuffle, following Toby Young’s resignation from the Office for Students (OfS). The move represents the second major personnel change in the Department of Education this week, following Justine Greenings replacement by Damian Hinds, the MP for East Hampshire. Johnson has been made Transport Minister by the PM. The appointment of Toby Young to the OfS, backed by Johnson, sparked significant outcry after it emerged the Spectator columnist made several controversial tweets in previous years. Johnson defended the appointment in the House of Commons yesterday, suggesting that although the tweets were “obnoxious and repellant”, Young had been on a “developmental journey” since making them, and was an “eloquent advocate for free speech”. Theresa May has said she was “not impressed” by the language of the

Gimyah was elected president of the Oxford Union

tweets, although it is uncertain as to whether Young’s appointment was the reason for Johnson’s move to Transport Secretary. Following his move to Transport Secretary, Johnson tweeted his support for Gyimah, describing his successor as “brilliant”, while also paying tribute to Universities, which he called “Our greatest national asset & the best thing about this country”. Sam Gimyah has been MP for East Surrey since 2010. Born in Beaconsfield, the new minister was educated at a prestigious school in Ghana before returning to the UK for his GCSEs and A Levels. He then attended Sommerville College Oxford, reading PPE and being elected President of the Oxford Union. Following a spell as investment banker at Goldman Sachs, he set up Clearstone Training and Recruitment Ltd, before becoming Chairman of a Conservative think tank in 2006. Speaking to Varsity, CUSU president Daisy Eyre said: “Over his tenure, Jo Johnson has pursued an agenda that has brought universities to the forefront of national politics and media attention, but not necessarily one that has put students’ needs first.”

18 January 2018 • The Cambridge Student

Science

Moth larvae able to digest plastic, study suggests

Nol Swaddiwudhipong Science Editor

he accumulation of plastic waste in the environment, which accompanies the widespread use of plastics in modern society, is a significant cause for concern. Unfortunately, the majority of plastic products are not readily broken down, and as a result they build up in the environment, contributing to pollution and resulting in adverse consequences for many animal species. A group of researchers (Bombelli et al, 2017) have recently reported that the larvae of a species of wax moth, Galleria mellonella, are able to break down polyethylene. Polyethylene is an extremely common type of plastic with a wide range of uses, from packaging to water pipes and even bulletproof vests. This discovery may offer a promising avenue to deal with the growing problem of plastic waste. The biology and chemistry of polyethylene breakdown by these wax moth larvae is an intriguing question in itself. That polyethylene survives so long in the environment attests to the difficulty of its breakdown. The researchers speculate that the larva’s natural diet of beeswax may explain its ability to digest polyethylene. Beeswax contains many compounds that contain

An avenue to deal with waste

carbon-carbon bonds of the same sort that make up the polyethylene backbone. Hence, it is possible that the wax moth larvae might have evolved mechanisms to deal with this sort of chemistry in its food. The authors, however, acknowledge that they do not yet know what these mechanisms are. This discovery, however, has been challenged by a different group of researchers. In a letter published in Current Biology a few months after the original discovery, Weber and colleagues contend that the evidence reported in the original paper does not adequately support the case for polyethylene breakdown by the wax moth larvae. In particular, they challenge the interpretation of the infrared spectra in the original report. This data was used in the original report to support the presence of ethylene glycol after wax moth larvae were allowed to feed on the plastic. Bombelli and colleagues have since replied to the challenge and provide counterarguments for several points that were raised. While the authors defend their position, they also acknowledge that it would be important for future work to provide more conclusive proof of polyethylene breakdown. Nevertheless, it would be interesting to instead approach this idea from

Nol Swaddiwudhipong Science Editor

The relationship between armed hostilities and local fauna for survival. A report by Daskin and Pringle published in Nature examines the relationship between armed conflict and animal population dynamics across protected areas in Africa. Their research is the first to assess this relationship over such a large area and across a long time period.

ALEXAS_FOTOS

a more pragmatic environmental perspective. Supposing that conclusive evidence of polyethylene breakdown by the larvae were to be subsequently obtained, would this have a measurable impact on environmental protection? The path from science to environmental change is not as straightforward as it seems. Multiple reports have previously been published about polyethylene digestion by various species, including some bacteria. However, the problem of plastic waste still looms large. While a means of plastic biodegradation would be a nifty tool to combat plastic pollution, the practicalities of its application still pose numerous challenges. This could possibly involve building large biodegradation facilities. The alternative, letting the wax moth proliferate in a waste disposal site, will need to be very thoroughly assessed for its potential ecological consequences. Either way, considerable logistical difficulties will need to be overcome. This leads to the idea that science can probably only do so much to help the environment. The rest of the effort

What is the impact of war on animals?

The report charts the negative impact of war on the survival of local animal species across Africa. The potential for populations to bounce back is also highlighted, as is the importance of continued conservation and wildlife protection efforts. Surveying the genome of the malaria-causing parasite delving into the molecular world, Cowell and colleagues examine the genomes of resistant Plasmodium falciparum strains.

Plasmodium falciparum is a parasite that causes malaria, which continues to have a significant health impact today. Published in Science, their survey of the resistant parasites’ genomes uncovers many genes that the parasite uses as part of its arsenal against drugs, while revealing potential genes that can be exploited in medicinal treatment. Their research offers hope for a better understanding of the parasite’s Biology and the development of more effective treatments against it.

NEPHRON

18 January 2018 • The Cambridge Student

Features

It’s a vac, but it’s also a holiday: in defence of rest

Establishment in Cambr

Jane O’Connor Features Editor

ince the end of term, I’ve been so busy with other things that, at times, I’ve almost had to remind myself that I’m doing a degree. Right at the start at December, I travelled for a political and cultural exchange programme, and now, I have to finish off my Christmas shopping. Then there’s Christmas itself, my birthday, and a trip to Scotland. Combine this with jet lag, and a touch of post-Michaelmas burnout, and it’s probably hard to imagine that I’ve got any work done at all. Even if that were true, it wouldn’t really be a bad thing. I’m a very strong believer in taking breaks, and that’s the main advice I’d give to anyone daunted by their vacation workload. No matter how clever your DoS felt telling you that “it’s a vacation, not a holiday”, it is simply not healthy for a person to work non-stop throughout the year. It also isn’t necessary, or even academically helpful, as it has been shown that taking breaks is important for productivity. It is so important to rest and relax – not just for the sake of your work, but for your mental, emotional and physical health. Equally, it may only make you more anxious in the long run if you do very little work over the break, and so I would recommend doing it in small bites. On Saturday, for example, I was waiting for my family for half an hour so we could do some Christmas shopping, so I looked at some reading that I’d started that morning. Though I only had thirty minutes, I still managed to take half a page of notes, which saved me time when I sat down for

a bigger work session the next day. As this is a very busy period, I find it stressful to set aside large chunks of time where I must work, as it seems that things can come up at any time. Instead, I like to work a little bit at a time, and then feel rewarded that I’ve got something done when I would normally have been scrolling through Instagram. When you do work, it feels quite miserable to trawl through dense, old books in the freezing cold. You are not even surrounded with people on the same boat, as you would be if you were in the UL or working with friends. It’s hard not to feel jealous of your home friends and family members who have completed their winter exams, and now get to relax for a month. To counter this, I like to almost trick myself into thinking my work is interesting. For example, when reading through dry social theory, I make it interesting for myself by pondering how it applies to my everyday life, and the lives of people I know. Sometimes, I’ll also make nice playlists that I associate with individual papers or topics, and then listen to these playlists whenever I’m working on those. This means that, rather than being terrified of studying logistic regression, I find myself excited to listen to some banging tunes as I do so. Ultimately, the key to balancing work with life during the vacation is to be kind to yourself. I believe that there is no good at all in pushing yourself harder than you feel comfortable with, especially after you’ve put in eight very tough weeks at Cambridge.

BEATRIX WHISTLER

When you do work, it is very important to treat yourself nicely and patiently, and it is essential to allow yourself to take breaks. Breaks give you a chance to recuperate; to focus on what needs doing and what, in all reality, you can save yourself from panicking about. To rest is to value yourself, all that you have done, and will do. And you will still get things done. A break won’t change that. After all, it is a vacation, but it should also be a holiday.

University of Cambridge: where tradition meets progression Ming Kit Wong

rom the matriculation ceremony to the Latin grace said at the beginning of Formals to calling examinations ‘Triposes’, Cambridge retains many of its traditions. One would suspect, therefore, that relics of the past might remain and encourage an atmosphere of conservatism. In some respects, they have, as we saw with the email sent by a Queens’ Director of Studies to NatSci freshers last November which insisted that Cambridge is not a place where students are allowed to enjoy themselves. Take also the publication of

class lists, a tradition currently threatened by new EU data protection laws. Clearly these ideas and practices belong to an age when students’ welfare was not as much of a concern as it is today. At the same time, widespread condemnation of the email and ongoing opposition to class lists reveal that students find these practices unacceptable. In fact, what is most striking about Cambridge is the fact that it is so progressive. For example, support for welfare and mental health awareness is overwhelmingly strong. The university’s heavy investment in fossil fuels has led to a campaign for

divestment. Calls for the decolonisation of faculties in the humanities were widely received in an effort to address Eurocentric curricula. Opposition to Toby Young’s appointment to the Office for Students, including an open letter signed by nearly a hundred Cambridge academics, contributed to his resignation. A recent campaign against sexual harassment has launched in support of the Time’s Up movement, encouraging the wearing of black on 19 January. Cambridge is thus a curious blend of conservatism and progressivism. At my college, on one hand, the decision was made not to include condoms in freshers’ welcome packs.

What is most striking about Cambridge is that it is so progressive

On the other hand, 71% of home students in our college were stateeducated. Indeed, Cambridge spends £5 million a year on outreach and progress has been made towards allowing students of all backgrounds to achieve a place here. To further illustrate, history students were given the choice last year to type, rather than handwrite, one of their papers in the Prelim examinations. In the future, as my DoS believes, there will probably be a full transition to allow students to type all their papers. Cambridge has many continuities with the past, but it is also, above all, at the forefront of progressive change.

theatre - lifestyle - fashion - books - relationships - film

The Thursday Magazine

18 January 2018 • The Thursday Magazine • The Cambridge Student

Breakfast Poem books editor ellen birch culture@tcs.cam.ac.uk lifestyle editor holly macaskill lifestyle@tcs.cam.ac.uk sex and relationships editor celia morris and nadia razali culture@tcs.cam.ac.uk fashion and beauty editor lydia karayianni and steve treherne fashion@tcs.cam.ac.uk

Today I had first, rubbing dust from my sore eyes: Two kinds of pig-meat, yellow rumbled eggs, potato foods, and also tomato squeezin’. (For taste.) Two whole different kinds of pig! What a lucky boy I am, what a joy–

Grayson Elorreaga

theatre editor alex mirosevic-sorgo theatre@tcs.cam.ac.uk all other enquiries editor@cam.ac.uk

welcome to the first thursday magazine of Lent term. we’re now in a new year, and we’ve got an amazing new team of fresh faces to take us through this term. suitably, this issue is all about beginnings - from our fabulous photoshoot on pages 4-7, to theatre highlights for the coming weeks on page 8, and ways to escape the cambridge bubble, both physically and imaginatively, on page 10, there is a wealth of unmissable content we can’t wait for you to read. we also have two gorgeous creative writing pieces about beginnings, which will hopefully inspire you for the term ahead. but our main message for this issue is that beginnings don’t end here - we’re always keen for even more of you to be involved: whether it’s modelling, photography, lifestyle tips or reviews for your favourite books or films, we’d love to hear from you!

interested in photography or illustration? contact juliette and molly at editor@tcs.cam.ac.uk to be featured in tcs.

website: tcs.cam.ac.uk instagram: tcsnewspaper twitter: tcsnewspaper facebook: the cambridge student

advertise in the thursday magazine contact cusubus@hermes.cam.ac.uk

18 January 2018 • The Thursday Magazine • The Cambridge Student

First time Anonymous

hen I was 15 I got my first blowjob. It was in the loo of a Costa and when we left we realised that we hadn’t locked the door. I’d be lying if I said it was the most fulfilling sexual experience I’ve had: we didn’t even finish because he felt uncomfortable with the location, which is fair enough when you’re having oral sex next to a splattering of skid marks and with your knees on a urine stained floor. Much is said about your first time. You should be ‘ready’, emotionally prepared. In the film ‘Clueless’, Dionne reveals that Cher, the film’s main character, ‘is saving herself for Luke Perry’. The ‘PC term,’ Dionne jokes, is ‘hymenally challenged’. ‘Saving herself ’ sounds as though Cher has done a stoic act of self-sacrifice. To this, Cher replies: ‘I am just not interested in doing it until I find the right person. You see how picky I am about shoes and they only go on my feet.’ Likening the choice of your first fuck to the choice of a pair of shoes has clear comedic value: it’s tongue-in-cheek, but the sentiment is found

Nadia Razali

First love “This is not the kind of thing that happens in real life”

everywhere. As a somewhat repressed teenager I spent hours googling sex, and I was often met with the face of a disappointed person with ‘I wish I had waited longer until my first time’ or ‘I wish I had waited for the right person’ sitting beneath. But what is the right time and how can you tell who ‘the right person’ is? The guy giving me a blowjob turned out to be an arsehole; and I had to wait three more years before I got another one. It was equally disappointing, before you ask: drunken and delayed, in all senses. My first year of university involved messy BJs and cumming too soon, hours stuck on Grindr as I jerked off under my desk (in my room, don’t worry), looking for something that would, inevitably, be good in theory but mediocre in practice. So, when Easter Term began and I still hadn’t lost my anal virginity, I was disappointed. I remember being jealous when my friend on her gap year sent me a barrage of drunken texts about how she’d just lost her V-plates, and whether it was acceptable to creep out of the guy’s house while he was asleep. But it was worth the wait: he was an academic-sort, dark, sad eyed and wolf-like. We met for coffee a few days before we hooked-up, and there was an intensity to him that I liked. I had never felt the need to be penetrated before that night. I know that sounds slightly ridiculous, but I never realised that desperation is just part of sex: a need to fuck or be fucked, to touch or be touched. There isn’t a good time or a bad time to have sex. Even

came to Cambridge thinking that if I was ever going to find love, which I highly doubted, it would be here. As it happened, I did meet someone in Cambridge, but not in the way you might think. On a February weekend, around the time I was running for JCR LGBT+ Rep, my college neighbour had a friend over from home. I met them as they arrived, had dinner with them and my neighbour that night, and they came along to JCR election hustings. They were quiet and didn’t really make a big impression on me, apart from the fact that I was told they were also very queer. They left Cambridge the next day and I went on with my life. Then, in the first day of the Easter holidays, I got a message from my neighbour saying, ‘You’ve got an admirer’. My neighbour then cryptically told me that someone had called me ‘the most beautiful person they’d ever seen’. It was her friend. I was shocked. This is not the kind of thing that happens in real life. And if it does, it’s the kind of overly loving line that your parents whip out 3DMAN_EU

if you wait until you’re thirty the chances are you’re still not going to be emotionally ready for what happens. You just have to do it, to try it and see what goes wrong, what works, what you think is weird or right. There’s no point beating around the bush when you can dive straight in (although I’d be wary of taking that literally). Remember that your interests are always changing; don’t be surprised if something takes you elsewhere or changes your perspective about something. As long as you’re safe and all parties consent, keep having first times and fresh experiences. RT69 ON FLICKR.com

when you’re feeling particularly desolate, not something a stranger says about you. I had never been told anything like it, and I was intrigued. Very intrigued. So intrigued, in fact, that around the same time next day, I was on the tube, heading to the bookshop where they worked. When I arrived in front of the bookstore, I quickly walked past it. I sat on a bench, quizzing myself, ‘What the hell am I doing? I barely know this person, why am I here?’ I shook my head before dramatically getting up and walking over to the shop again. As I stood in front of it, I saw them by the till, smiling away at a customer. Dread. Stomach-churning nervousness. I walked past the store again. I walked back toward the tube station, thinking that this whole trip had been a stupid whim, and that I was being delirious. Then I turned around, and as I found myself in front of the bookshop yet again, I stepped in. I was so nervous that I determinedly walked right past them, exploring every corner of the shop, carefully avoiding them until I could find a moment to ‘spontaneously’ bump into them. When I finally bucked up the courage to meet their eyes, they seemed surprised to see me – but they weren’t. What I didn’t know was that my neighbour had told them I would be showing up, and, even more embarrassingly, that they had seen me the moment I came in, observing my rather obvious avoidance manoeuvre. We talked for a bit and they sold me a book, a copy of Jeanette Winterson’s Written on the Body. I had picked it out, hoping they would get the hint. It turned out they had already read some Winterson, and I was ecstatic. I left the bookshop full of adrenaline and smiled all the way back to the station. I headed home to Denmark the next day, and in the following weeks, we talked to each other constantly, moaning about how we would have to wait an entire month before being able to spend time together. I had never felt anything as intense, and I desperately wanted to see them again. Fortunately, I didn’t have to wait that long. Three weeks after I saw them at work, they walked out of arrivals at Copenhagen Airport and kissed me. A real-life grand romantic gesture. We had our first date that evening, and spent the loveliest few days together. We’ve been together for nine months now.

18 January 2018 • The Thursday Magazine • The Cambridge Student

Creative Directors Lydia Karayianni Photographers Johannes Black Makeup Artists Lydia Karayianni Models Alfie Denness Jane O’Connor Anna Mochar Georgio Konstandi Shoomena Anil Sophie We

The Cambridge Student • The Thursday Magazine • 18 January 2018

Elements of life

18 January 2017 • The Thursday Magazine • The Cambridge Student

The Cambridge Student • The Thursday Magazine • 18 January 2017

18 January 2018 • The Thursday Magazine • The Cambridge Student

A look ahead: Lent Term theatre highlights Alex Sorgo Theatre Editor

he Lent term programmes of the ADC, Corpus Playroom and other theatres in Cambridge are bursting full of talent and exciting shows to see us through the long winter. In the first half of this term, I’m particularly excited for Much Ado About Nothing (16-20 Jan), which I enjoyed previewing for TCS. It recently toured Europe in December, and made headlines for being endorsed by Cambridge alumnus Stephen Fry on Twitter. Now back on the Cambridge stage, Much Ado About Nothing is sure to dazzle. There’s plenty more Shakespeare throughout the term: The Marlowe Society’s production of Romeo and Juliet (Week 1, 24–27 Jan), with professional set, lighting, sound and costume designers, is sure to be a hit. Coriolanus, Shakespeare’s take on Roman history, awaits us in Week 6 (27 Feb–3 Mar). This term also has the Medic Panto, The Prion King, which is usually stuffed full of talent rarely seen on the Cambridge stage. Starting on 24 January at the Mumford Theatre, this production is always a good laugh even for non-medics like me.

More comedy: fans of the Tom Sharpe novel and the television series Porterhouse Blue will enjoy the ADC’s Week 3 (6–10 Feb) adaption of it. It is a parody of life at Cambridge, where rowing ability secures you a place, and swan is eaten every dinner. Satirical and witty, it is a cutting comment on tradition and modernity in our very own university. The ADC will also put on a production of Mel Brooks’ The Producers as a treat for the end of term in Week 8 (14-24 Mar). Those of us who like a bit of opera can enjoy Donizetti’s L’elixir D’amore from the Cambridge University Opera Society: “the operatic highlight of the Cambridge calendar” (Week 5, 22–25 Feb). The comedy will be sung in Italian with English subtitles. As a Classicist, I’m also excited to see Greek tragedy: The Oresteia (Week 3, 30 Jan–3 Feb) and Senate (Week 5, 22–24 Feb), a new production written by Alfred Leigh. Think The Thick of It meets Republican Rome. There’s something to suit every taste at the ADC this term. Make sure to pick up your programme from the ADC lobby for the full calendar.

THEO HEYMAN

Varsity reviewing: dram Rose Aitchison

arsity, one of the most popular student publications in Cambridge, has introduced a controversial new system for producing theatre reviews. Prior to the changes made by incoming theatre editors Anna Jennings and Jiayu Qiu, those who wished to write reviews would sign up to a weekly mailing list run by theatre editors, which would notify recipients regarding which shows were available for review on their opening nights. Reviewers would then write a review and attach a star rating and their name. Anyone could start reviewing at any time, and writing a review did not indicate any kind of commitment to reviewing again in future. A similar system continues to be operated by the theatre sections of other student newspapers, such as The Cambridge Student and The Tab. Under the new system, those wishing to review must apply at the start of a term to the theatre editors. Successful applicants (who, it is strongly suggested in the application form and in promotional social media posts and emails, will be

people who have experience of either producing or writing about theatre) will form a selected team of approved writers, and then be able to sign up to review shows – which will then be published anonymously. While some former Varsity theatre reviewers (and some thesps) who I have spoken to believe that the new system will be effective in bringing up the quality of reviews, many expressed concerns about the shortcomings of such a system. Anna Shmatenko, who has written ten reviews for Varsity over the past year, told me that she thought a potential improvement in the quality of reviews would be a good thing, but expressed reservations about how it would affect new writers. “Personally, I got into writing articles precisely because it was open for everyone and getting started didn’t seem as intimidating as it does now. I feel like it will drive away the students who may have given it a shot otherwise, if it wasn’t so formal. “Overall, I’d say let’s wait and see. Maybe getting into it if you have the desire to won’t be as difficult as it sounds after all. Plus, it will force those who become the ‘selected reviewers’ to do

The Cambridge Student • The Thursday Magazine • 18 January 2018

EMIL SANDS

Preview: Much Ado About Nothing

Lavinia Lavizani

uch Ado About Nothing: love, conflict and an exploration into the societal constraints of gender, there’s something for everyone during Re-freshers’ week at ADC’s Mainshow. What better way to ease back into the academic frenzy of Lent Term than with a Shakespearean comedy? With the cast and crew having gone on a two-week long tour across Europe, they are now back in Cambridge for a homerun and ready to bring a finely-tuned production to the stage. Alex Sorgo and I caught up with the bubbly and energetic cast and crew to discuss their European tour, and coming back to perform in Cambridge: Geraint Owen (Director), Katherine Ridley (Tour Manager), Theo Heymann (Production Manager), Shimali de Silva (Beatrice) and Stanley Thomas (Benedict).

ma of a different kind their best every time.’ I also spoke to Alex Miroŝević-Sorgo, who spent more than three years writing reviews for Varsity and has now become theatre editor for The Cambridge Student. “The first that I heard about the new system was a public Facebook post made by Anna Jennings in the ‘Cambridge Theatre’ group. “Those who had previously reviewed for Varsity were then invited by email to reapply for a job which some of us have been doing for years, the text of which seemed to be largely copied and pasted from the Facebook post. “I really felt angry and let down, especially by the fact that it felt like we were being told all of a sudden that our reviews weren’t good enough. “When I replied to Anna Jennings’ email asking her what I could do to bring my reviews up to standard, she avoided my question and didn’t even bother to scan through one of my articles online. “I’m really worried that selecting reviewers is going to fuel cycles of insularity and back-scratching within the Cambridge theatre scene. “Anonymous reviews will mean it’s going to

make it so much easier for reviewers to bring in personal biases, either good or bad – not putting your name on a review takes away both a reviewer’s accountability and their ability to build credibility. “Moreover, I think that a lot of people want to have their names attached to reviews- what potential employer is going to believe that you wrote an anonymous article? “And what actor will think that the person in the second row is taking notes for the fun of it – many thesps know theatre reviewers by sight anyway!” How the new system will be put into place and how it will work in practice remain to be seen. For the moment, however, trepidation and dissatisfaction seem to be some of the predominant feelings about it from many former Varsity writers. If you are interested in reviewing for TCS, get in touch via the Facebook Reviewers’ Group, or by emailing theatre@tcs.cam.ac.uk. Writers get two free tickets to the show, in exchange for a review by 12 noon the next day,

What portrayal and take of Shakespeare’s Much Ado About Nothing were you looking to do? Geraint Owen: For me, it was important to do what I thought was a faithful interpretation. To take the play, without putting something on top of it, like a concept which takes it into a different world. For this tour and audience, I want to sell them this play and not a version of Much Ado About Nothing. I wanted to get across what I felt were the main issues and themes of the play. Shimali de Silvia: The fact that it was a collaborative effort was really important. It really shaped my view of doing a touring show as opposed to a show just in Cambridge, because you start out as this new performance that you haven’t quite gauged yet, and then gradually create something which fits each individual atmosphere, venue and audience during the two weeks. How did you approach the uncomfortable gender standards in the play? SdS: I played Beatrice, who is this intelligent, emotional woman who doesn’t fit into the society she is forced to mould herself into. So that’s where my “If I were a man” speech comes from; a place of real frustration. Meanwhile, Benedict is trying to confess his love for her, so as two actors you are playing two different atmospheres in the same scene. Benedict is written to play for laughs, whereas I am trying to make the audience feel for me and the struggles of being trapped in a female body which disempowers you. You are almost fighting against the other actors for the stage in moments like that. GO: It’s in a world where they are having this fun, but there are still these issues, so we wanted to make sure that these things still existed when we got to the second half. These accusations and alarming treatment of Hero has come from somewhere, and not from out of the blue.

Did you find it difficult as actors to get the meaning of Shakespeare on tour? Stanley Thomas: The whole point of Shakespeare and theatre is telling a story, and it’s very difficult if people don’t understand the language. So as actors you have to respond to what is happening in the audience, and their reaction. There is a lot of it where the language isn’t coming through, and then you have to perform more physically and energetically, the language won’t necessarily convey all you want to convey. GO: One time, a teacher came up to me at the end of a show and said that a pupil had commented that seeing the play performed had really helped them understand it. It is really a testament to our team. How were you able to create a set design which worked in each of the theatre spaces you performed in? GO: With the set designer (Jack Parham), we created a set of a box which unpacks on itself, so initially is a white box that comes out into colour. I wanted something that had the potential to be fun and like a carnival, but also something that is quite performative and a shock when the second half comes. A deception and joke to someone watching. Is the pressure of conveying the themes of the play, off now that you are doing a home-run? ST: Every audience will have a different expectation of what they are wanting. Whether an audience knows the play or not, it’s our responsibility to always do something interesting with it. KR: Anyone who has been following us on social media will be aware that we have been performing to school children, and I think that anyone who is expecting a very simple, pantomime version of MAAN (although there are bits that are quite slapstick) will be pleasantly surprised. Geraint and everyone has been aware from the start that this has to work for school children as well as a Cambridge audience. Why should people ultimately come to watch Much Ado About Nothing? ST: There is so much in the play. It’s fun and also really tragic. It discusses themes, which are still relevant and very important today: being an outsider, relationships and feminism. KR: It is also just so entertaining to watch. A few of my friends have asked me if I’d ever get fed up with watching the show over and over again, but I am actually really excited to see it again. This cast and crew promise this production to be an explosive feast of masquerade and spectacle. (ADC Tues 16th- Sat 20th January at 7:45pm)

18 January 2017 • The Thursday Magazine • The Cambridge Student

Escape the Bubble: Trumpington

Film Review: Molly’s Game

Jane O’Connor

Helena Pérez Valle

rumpington is probably one of my favourite places in Cambridge. It is something of a personal tradition to go there at least once a term when I need to clear my head. It is, to me, the most accessible place that I feel to be completely outside the infamous Cambridge Bubble, being, perhaps, the least student-y place in Cambridge. I am one of the stubborn sorts who doesn’t have a bike here, but Google Maps informs me that it is only 15 minutes to cycle. If this isn’t possible for you either, there are also regular buses to Trumpington from the city. What I love most about Trumpington is probably the journey there. Having grown up in a city several times larger than Cambridge, I am endlessly fascinated by the fact that the countryside is truly just around the corner. Within a mile of a built-up settlement, there are expansive farms and plentiful trees all around. Another benefit to Trumpington is that it is quite easy to get to. It is just a continuous walk down Trumpington Street, which becomes Trumpington Road, and then, Trumpington High Street. To me, there’s something quite freeing in not need to check my phone to see if I’m really going the right way. The village itself feels like the kind of cosy place that could be most anywhere in England. Gone is the sense of claustrophobia and suffocation that looms in Cambridge. It’s quite nice to walk around and know that nobody around you is thinking about supervisions. An absolute must if you visit Trumpington is The Green

Man, a pub that is spacious and cosy all at once. It also boasts a delicious lunch menu. I would have to recommend the battered halloumi and chips, complete with mushy peas and tartare sauce. It was so delicious that I believe my nonvegetarian companion had cause to be jealous of me. Another perk to Trumpington is that it boasts a pretty sizable Waitrose. I find wandering around big supermarkets extremely therapeutic. This is also furthered by the phenomenon of being outside of the bubble – you can drift through the aisles for however long you like and not risk awkwardly bumping into people you vaguely know. I also feel like the fact that it’s not Sainsbury’s makes it a very welcome change of scenery. The same supermarket for eight weeks can be terribly repetitive. All in all, Trumpington is a place that I think you should definitely see at some point during your time at Cambridge. I would recommend that during your next bout of writer’s block or existential dread, you simply put on your headphones and take that walk down Trumpington Street.

Olympics. The way that part of the story is told, that’s good filmmaking. OXYMAN

Book Review: Lullaby Ellen Birch Books Editor

think it is particularly impressive when a book manages to be successful both commercially and in a literary sense, touching on something more profound: a feat accomplished by the new French novel Lullaby by Leïla Slimani. Her book strikes the perfect balance between these realms through its enthralling narrative style and engagement with complex issues such as class, race and feminism. The book’s front cover is printed with the novel’s opening words, immediately revealing the novel as a whydunit rather than a whodunit: “The baby is dead. It only took a few seconds”, and the first chapter describes the murder of two young children by their nanny; the children of a wealthy young couple living in a chic apartment in an upmarket quartier of Paris. The novel’s protagonist, Myriam, is French-Morroccan (like Slimani herself), a new mother and ex-lawyer who yearns to return to her profession and escape fulltime motherhood, leading the couple to hire a nanny. Louise is perfect from the outset; devoted, efficient and hardworking, taking on extra duties, working obscene hours and eventually proving such a vital part of the household that she inhabits their lives and marriage almost without the couple noticing. A large part of the novel centres around guilt: of a mother who devotes too much time to her career, despite the father never stepping away from his, whilst the pair push aside the niggling fears concerning the state of their nanny’s personal life, preferring to focus instead on their

own worries. The narrative is subtle and suggestive and therefore all the more powerful and chilling: Louise’s full motivations are unclear, reflecting the chaos of her mind and causing her quiet presence to become increasingly ominous. This tension builds until the novel’s denouement; the same events of the start but with a dimension which is even more chilling now that the background has been filled in. The concept of the killer nanny may be old hat, a familiar trope among horror films, but Slimani treats the subject with an impressive depth. Her focus on the issues that lie behind the troubled relationship between the young couple and their nanny is revealed slowly, creating a powerful impact on the reader as she reveals why the events culminated in violence and death.

isclaimer: I love Aaron Sorkin. I love the fast-paced dialogue and the righteousness of his characters. I even love how unrealistic his scenarios are, even when they are based on true stories. I particularly love his shows (The Newsroom being a particular favourite, despite its many defects). If not a great filmmaker, at least he is a fantastic writer. Molly’s Game has a lot of the Aaron Sorkin brand going for it, but ultimately, the film doesn’t quite work. It feels overly long and many times, the story just isn’t that compelling. Occasionally Sorkin over explains poker (going into detail about which hand is a winning hand), while simultaneously underexplaining the lingo, which can be annoying. But all of this wouldn’t matter if I’d fallen in love with the characters or with the story. Sadly, by the end of the film, Molly Bloom leaves me cold. Usually Sorkin is really good at showing me why a character is right or wrong, or why I should feel for them (or making me feel for them when I know I shouldn’t). In his latest film, everything feels slightly too clinical. This isn’t to say I didn’t enjoy the film. It was a pleasant couple of hours, but it didn’t stay with me.

Molly’s Game has a lot of the Aaron Sorkin brand going for it, but ultimately, the film doesn’t quite work. There’s also the issue with the film’s length and its pacing. Because the film is being told as a series of flashbacks, there’s a constant need to come back to the present. And the present, the conversations between Molly Bloom and her lawyer, are not that interesting. It’s not clear to me why Idris Elba’s character changes his mind about representing her. It’s not clear to me why he so passionately defends her, when he knows for a fact that she is guilty (even if what she is guilty of is minor). It’s not clear to me why he doesn’t drop her as a client when she repeatedly refuses to accept his advice and pleads not guilty. It’s also not clear to me why I’m being told about the legal process. I feel like it’s just a way to make the film longer, rather than there being a solid, story-telling reason for the flashbacks. On the other hand, I enjoyed the acting. I love both Chastain and Elba, and thought they worked well together, even if occasionally the Sorkin’s need for word-perfect dialog seems to get in the way of their natural acting. Molly’s Game was an interesting watch, and I genuinely think it could have been a very fun film, if there had been a little bit more character development or if the film had had a faster pacing. In any case, I’m almost glad that a single stick on the ground made Molly Bloom lose one of her skis and miss her chance at competing in the

ELLEN BIRCH

STX ENTERTAINMENT VIA YOUTUBE

18 January 2018 • The Thursday Magazine • The Cambridge Student

My awkward first date: three really is a crowd Georgio Konstandi

’d always imagined my first date to be the most romantic day of my life, as a young teenager. A table for two with a white cloth, nervous laughter scattered intermittently between occasional awkward silences, and, of course, the inevitable first kiss. At sixteen, I was yet to have this experience. Locking tongues in noisy hallways and securing a hand job with that overly generous friend-with-benefits had been accomplished. But hand jobs don’t require first dates and although my initials were proudly engraved in the Hall of Lad Culture, I was yet to find love. There was none of that feeling of inexplicable joy, that uncontrollable tightening of the stomach, a flutter of the heart. I was beginning to feel like I was missing out on something. Luckily for me, thanks to the wonders of social media, I had met a girl. Not just any girl - a Greek girl (the importance of this will reveal itself later). After having briefly spoken at a New Year’s function, hugged slightly too awkwardly and taken a selfie to put on Snapchat, thus boosting my ego, I asked her the question I had never asked a girl before: do you want to go out with me? The date was set. We were meeting at a shopping centre which had a cinema around the corner.

Sorted. When the big day arrived, I was up at the crack of dawn, given that I could barely sleep all night. As this was taking place in the days before I could legally drive, I required a parent to take me to my destination. To preserve my own sense of masculinity, I decided my father should be the one to take me to my date. I arrived, bid my father goodbye and entered the wilderness of Merry Hill’s retail park to find my Juliet. That’s where the Shakespearean romance ends. Remember when I said she was Greek? This meant that any form of romance soon became a contract. As with any contract, there’s always a bit of small print you forget to read. In my case, it was the condition that stated we were never to be alone. Even on the first date. I shan’t go into who set these rules…the fibres that hold together peace within the Greek community have never been strong. The important thing is that this would lead to the most awkward first date the West Midlands has ever seen. Don’t get me wrong, there were moments when her entourage of a dozen boys and girls (yes…a dozen) were merciful enough to leave us be. In this precious window of time, we constructed our own romance. Walking endlessly round the shopping centre as we

shared our hopes and dreams, breaking into nervous laughter as we realised just how much we liked each other…and yes, that inevitable first kiss. Bar the lack of tablecloth, my fantasy about a romantic first date was coming true. Alas, ´twas not meant to be. The entourage soon returned and I suddenly found myself buying fifteen tickets to see a six o’clock production of Up!. I don’t know what was more disturbing for me: looking up between cheeky snogs to find a cartoon child staring back into my eyes, looking away to then find a mother of two young boys frowning at me from across the cinema, or knowing that every time I kissed my date, her friends were watching, wide-eyed, swiveled round on their seats in the row in front, casually munching on their popcorn. But luckily for me there were to be more dates, with fewer guests and more time together. Against all odds, I got what I’d asked for. I’d stopped listening to my penis and had found my heart. How fitting it would be if I could tell you this unlikely love had carried on to this day. But you know how it is in this plastic world. To quote Charlie and Selena: we don’t talk anymore.

What 2017 meant for women in film Megan Harding Film and TV Editor

t might seem backward to write an overview of the year that has just passed when TCS’s new theme is ‘Beginnings’. But, though 2017 was a year a lot of people were glad to see the back of, it also felt like the start of something. Female filmmakers have long been underrepresented, but last year felt like a turning point after years of gradual progression, with films from directors such as Kathryn Bigelow, and the female-centric Three Billboards and Lady Macbeth, among others. No longer were women always the generous mother figures, or the emotional labourers; they were vindictive, vengeful, angry, justified, bitter, proactive, and most importantly, human. And what I find most impressive about these movies is that they don’t judge their women for being rude, or brash, or even murderous - they observe and sympathise with their actions. Meanwhile a more relatable quotidian of female life was present on screen last year thanks to Greta Gerwig’s sparkling directing debut Lady Bird, one of 2017’s most hyped indie films (and winner of two Golden Globes - Best Motion Picture: Musical or Comedy, and Best Actress for Saoirse Ronan). Gerwig has said that Lady Bird is less an autobiographical character, and more an amalgamation of all the traits that she wished she possessed at that age. To me, this is important, because in the hands of another director, Lady Bird could easily have become the stereotypical Manic Pixie Dream Girl serving a man’s ego. But here she is her own person, aided by the female perspective behind the camera. Gerwig is aware of the frustration of watching male characters come of age, while the women around him become over-sexualised, quirky personas that bear no resemblance to reality. Whereas Lady Bird’s flaws are portrayed with equal significance to her quirks, most

often within her turbulent relationship to her mother (the stunning Laurie Metcalf). When watching the film, this is what stood out to me the most: how little these achingly important mother-daughter relationships are ever explored in the medium of film, ever. The celebration of women was continued by the knockout writing team of Kenya Barris and Tracy Oliver, to which we owe Girls Trip, a film demonstrating the fun and carefree side of modern black American women’s lives - something that audiences want to see on our screens, if Girls Trips’ success as the most profitable comedy of 2017 tells us anything. This goes for superhero movies, too: Patty Jenkins’ Wonder Woman defied expectations (and became DC’s first solid success) by recognising Diana’s optimism and warmth as an asset in a genre that is traditionally grim and gritty, and creating strength out of traits typically used to mark out women as weak or subservient. Reclaiming autonomy became a recurring theme for 2017’s women in film, best exemplified by the fact that there were more female writers, directors and producers than ever before. Director Reed Morano won an Emmy for her work on Hulu phenomenon The Handmaid’s Tale, a show aptly centred around the struggle for female freedom in a dystopian (but not altogether unfamiliar) society. Director Dee Rees helmed Mudbound, one of Netflix’s most acclaimed new movies, about the complex race dynamics of post-WWII America, starring Mary J Blige and Carey Mulligan, and French director Julia Ducornau released Raw, a horror exploring female sexuality. These films aren’t all as hopeful as Diana Prince or Lady Bird. In fact, horrors like Raw, or the communities of women in Sofia Coppola’s The Beguiled or Jean-Marc Vallée’s Big

Little Lies, exact their fulfilment by exceedingly violent means. These characters are angry. Which means to an extent that the female filmmakers behind them are angry, too. And they have reason to be. Women still make up only 14% of all directors, writers, producers, and cinematographers. Meanwhile, the #TIMESUP movement has highlighted the desperate need to rectify the epidemic of Hollywood sexual abuse. We can never expect more women to succeed in film if they are vulnerable to the whims of predatory men whose power goes unchecked, or the inequalities of a pay check, like Academy Award nominee Michelle Williams, who earned just 1% of co-star Mark Wahlberg’s salary for last-minute reshoots of All The Money in the World (which, to cap off the irony, was altered to remove all trace of the sexual predator Kevin Spacey from the film). Clearly, gender is still an issue in Hollywood. But things have been changing, and in 2017 more than ever. The variety of women present on (and behind) camera this year has allowed women to be women in every sense of the word: human beings who are joyful, experience life and love, celebrate their sexuality, but are also wronged and can do wrong, and who want answers for everything they have been through. They don’t always come out as winners, or angels, but if they did, it wouldn’t be a very accurate representation. And if we want more compelling and realistic women on our screens, we need more women representing them behind the camera. To make that happen, the film industry needs to keep working towards making TV and cinema a safe place for us to work.

18 January 2018 • The Thursday Magazine • The Cambridge Student

The Teahouse Why am I not a successful writer?” It had taken Milo a long time to ask this question. For some time he had felt that his work was on the edge of taking off, but if this were true, his work lay on a very long and very sticky edge. He had not asked the question before because to do so he would have had to admit to himself that he was in fact unsuccessful, and not simply unlucky. Janef his friend sat opposite him. This was the first time Milo had asked him a question about his job directly; they usually talked about certain characters’ backstories or plot holes that needed reconciling. Janef stopped admiring the tiled mosaics of the teahouse ceiling to give Milo his full attention. “Depends how you define “success”.” “Oh, don’t douse me with any hippy philosophy, Janef,” said Milo, “You know what I mean.” “You want to be popular and wealthy and a household name?” “Yes.” “Then why didn’t you say so yourself?” Milo shot him an angry look. He was quickly regretting asking Janef for his opinion, so to pull the focus away from himself he asked, “How are you successful?” “Successful in what way?” “Well you’ve got a good sculpting business--” “Sculpting and painting,” interjected Janef. “--and painting,” continued Milo, kicking himself for not knowing his friend painted too, “How do you do it?” “You must know that my business wasn’t always as it is now. I struggled for many, many years. No one would buy my work and though I experimented and made all kinds of pieces, nothing sold.” “Why?” “I didn’t know at first myself, but one day someone gave me a piece of advice: Listen. My lack of success was because I didn’t listen to what people wanted. I mean, I didn’t even ask them! And moreover, I loved every scrap of art I made, so I would set a price on it according to my sentimental value, and this was always, always far higher than what the buyer was willing to pay.” He stopped as the waiter set a plate of hummus and pita between him and Milo, and smiled at him as he left before continuing. “I started asking people what sort of art they wanted, listened, and then made it for them. And that’s why they started buying and how I became successful.”

“So you sacrificed your creative talent and free expression for material gain,” said Milo in a tone of half disgust. “Not exactly.” “Oh?” “I’ll tell you later.” Janef grabbed a piece of pita and pinching some hummus with it plopped it into his mouth. “But back to you. I think you are more than just annoyed at your own unsuccessfulness.” Milo, looking at the hummus, raised an eyebrow. “I think you are jealous,” said Janef. He was right. Milo knew he was right. And “It’s true,” conceded Milo exasperatedly, “I am jealous. And continuing the theme of speaking honestly and simply, I am jealous of Máire O’Reilly because her stories are crap but popular.” Milo felt good exercising some catharsis, but Janef interrupted him before it evolved into a full rant. “And why is she popular?” Milo thought. “Because she writes stories the public likes that are all thin disguises of each other. They are crass and boring, but as one newspaper review would have it “Máire O’Reilly’s writing is enthusiastic and sanguine.” Sanguine Máire. Sounds like a horror film. What kind of a name is Máire anyways?” “It’s the Irish version of Mary.” “In which case I shall no longer refer to her as ‘Sanguine Máire’ but rather as ‘Bloody Mary’.” Janef frowned. “You are not a bad writer you know,” he said sincerely, “Your stories are well written.” “Thank you.” “They’re just a bit glum. They’re the kind of story I read when I’m sad to cheer me up seeing someone else, even made up, having a worse life than me.” “Well I’m afraid, unlike you, I cannot sacrifice my creativity for the sake of appealing to some banal audience and write tripe.” “That’s where you’ve got me wrong, and the whole idea wrong. Yes, it is true I make art according to the tastes of others. And yes, sometimes I hate it but that makes

it all the easier to part with. And no, not one hundred per cent of my working time is spent making others’ art. I still find time for my own, and because that time is limited it makes it all the sweeter.” Milo sat quietly. A pebble of truth had been dropped into the pond of his mind, and its ripples calmed the water of his thoughts. “I never thought about it that way,” he said finally. Janef grinned, glad to have helped his friend. “So you see, it is not so hard to be successful and find balance with what we enjoy. You could even try to emulate O’Reilly’s style, as I don’t think you really hate it. In fact, I think you like her writing.” “What? That’s preposterous. What makes you say that?” The waiter appeared and placed their drinks on the table, but Milo kept looking at Janef trying to riddle the answer from his gentle expression. Janef’s eyes twinkled. “Only because you call her after one of your favourite things,” he said, pointing to the space between them. Milo looked down and saw in front of him his favourite drink it all its crimson glory--a Bloody Mary. Quintin Langley-Coleman

The Cambridge Student • 18 January 2018

Features

ridge: old is the new new SWEDISH NATIONAL HERITAGE BOARD

Don’t fear your Cambridge offer - celebrate it, and yourself Majida Begum

n the past few days, hopeful students who went through the draining and overwhelming application and interview process for Cambridge experienced their own, preliminary results day. I remember this day and those leading up to it so vividly – refreshing the Twitter feed of my college to see if emails for my course had been sent out yet, telling myself if I don’t get an offer, it would be okay, this offer is only part of my journey – it is not the defining moment. I had got an opportunity to be interviewed, I had enjoyed the interview and performed well. I would have to try and forget it and focus on my exams. But in the back of my mind, coming from a comprehensive state school I felt I owed it to everyone that had supported and believed in me to get an offer, and that the offer wasn’t just for me. In fact, it felt like it was a defining moment for my school, my sixth form, for the people who supported and believed in me. I had to receive an offer for them, to undermine, break and revolutionise barriers to access. I put so much weight on this offer that I forgot to be proud of myself. I forgot how far I had come, my achievements beside this offer. I forgot that this – Cambridge, Oxford, was not the be all and end all. I forgot what really mattered – what was best for me. And almost immediately, the

joy that came from the interview, or with receiving an offer, became diluted with stress, anxiety, isolation and a lot of tears. I didn’t realise the pressure I placed on one decision, one offer from one institution. It was only making Cambridge seem even more unachievable than I had believed. In fact, when I did receive confirmation of my offer, I did not know how to react. It was only when my teacher jumped in joy and congratulated me that I could smile and I could replicate his reaction. And even then, the worry of not achieving the grades needed for the offer consumed me and the sense of achievement that came with the offer left. I never went to offer holders events or sleepovers at my college because I was too worried to enjoy the moment. But the truth is those worries and feelings of not doing your best, or of owing and making people proud never go away. Those feelings remain as long as we place pressure on our achievements, forgetting that they are all only as important as we allow them to be. To those who have received offers – enjoy the moment and what is to come. Do not consume yourself with worries and self-doubt – you will get wherever you want to be by continuing the very work ethic that led you here – not by allowing yourself to be restricted in a bubble of self-doubt and worry.

January blues to January joy: Lent experiences Ellie Loxton

ew Year celebrations are long gone; Christmas Day is a mere distant memory. You pack your suitcases for that familiar journey back to Cambridge, and stumble groggily into your room wondering where – just where – did those six weeks go? The start of Lent term is hardly a time for champagne and party poppers, is it? Yet, despite the January gloom gripping the nation, this new term can be a cause for celebration; there are plenty of reasons for post-Christmas cheer as the first week of Lent term gets underway – I promise! Whether you are a first, second or ohso-old third year, Lent 2018 is an occasion for joy and jollity. For all the freshers out there, you can look forward to what will most likely be the finest out of all of your Cambridge terms. Beginner’s nerves and introductions are a thing of the past – no more ‘what’s your name and college?’ malarkey – while those dreaded exams remain a safe

Lent 2018 brings with it a blank slate, a clean page

distance away. This term, therefore, is one to enjoy! Nor is the outlook bleak for secondyears. I count myself among this band of mid-way waverers, and am rather proud (and amazed) when I think that I am almost halfway through my Cambridge degree. I know it is not the same if your subject runs a four-year course, or if you are one of those crazy medics who have signed up for a six-year stint, but at least we can all look forward to a free, fancy dinner at Halfway Hall! I expect things are a little more nervewracking for those in their third and fourth years, as the prospect of life postCam becomes a reality. You might be planning an American road trip or an African adventure, or applying for high-flying internships and jobs. Or, you might, (as I know I will) be ready for a good rest and recharge before embracing life beyond The Bubble. Apprehension is probable as you look ahead towards the future, but excitement

and anticipation are definite! There are plenty of other reasons to say goodbye to gloom as this term gets underway. If your New Year’s resolution failed to last beyond the 4th January, the start of Lent term provides the perfect opportunity for Resolutions #2. Plus, with the number of daylight hours increasing each week, the Christmas sale clutter cleared from shop floors, and the chance to buy a new diary (something I get unashamedly excited about), the atmosphere mid-January is perfect for blowing away all mental cobwebs and preparing for a fresh new year. Lent 2018 brings with it a blank slate, a clean page (and maybe a new supervisor?), perfect if Michaelmas 2017 came with more essay crises than you care to remember! And, to top it all off, 27th January brings National Chocolate Cake Day; if that’s not a cause for celebration, I don’t know what is!

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The Cambridge Student •18 January 2018

Features

The Long Read: Quiet periods are just part of

Cambridge’s comprehensively toxic exam culture

Self-care and studying don’t always fit together, but finding a balance that works for you is important

Jane O’Connor Features Editor

t has recently been revealed that the university’s policies of creating ‘quiet periods’ during Easter term has had a negative effect on student welfare, creating anxiety amongst the student body. The only thing that surprises me about this news is that the university has acknowledged it – to me, it is self-evident that such a policy would negatively affect students. It has been an obvious truth to me for as long as I’ve been here that Cambridge’s exam culture is toxic. It is one thing for college bars to have shorter opening hours due to a reduced demand, or for sporting events to wind down due to a lack of available players. In any other university, this would probably seem like a mere response to demand. However, the bubble effect in Cambridge gives these events, innocuous in isolation, a much more oppressive air. A college is not just a business, nor is it just an accommodation complex with a library attached. To most Cambridge students, it is their home for at least three years. This is the environment students return to following hard days of labs or library sessions, seeking comfort, belonging, and relaxation. It is a duty for colleges to provide this for students all year around – in fact, the need for this is even greater during exam term. In times of stress and uncertainty, of which exams are obviously a key example, people need grounding and stability. It is an established fact that stress and feelings of pressure are factors that can contribute to the development of anxiety disorders in vulnerable individuals. The university makes several wholly inadequate gestures towards mitigating this. Yes, it is nice for colleges to offer acupuncture, and pet-a-puppy days are an occasion I could personally

never do without, but when these are put forward as victories for student welfare, it is disingenuous beyond words. Welfare, comfort and belonging should not be privileges. They should not be tokens you receive in Week Five which last an hour or two. Especially in exam periods, welfare should be the utmost priority for colleges, as students under stress need extra help when they feel they don’t have the time or energy for self-care. What is most stunning of all is how often the duty to provide these is farmed out to student welfare officers. Why should students be the ones organising these events when they are the very people who need them? While this toxic culture exists in its most brazen form during exam periods, it is something that colleges ought to address throughout the year. As early as matriculation talks, we have been inundated with the message that we must perform to the highest standard at all times, and that failure is not an option. Even at that, directors of studies and senior tutors give warped messages as to what exactly failure is. Some students are told that a 2:2 is unacceptable – others are told that they’ll be a disappointment if they don’t get a first. How on earth this is seen as an appropriate way to address students is beyond my comprehension. What students deserve to be told is that it is most important for them to be happy. The issue is that if you raise these points with a college, or with the university, you will be told that there are plenty of services available. The façade that the university has adequate welfare resources is one that many staff members seem to genuinely believe. However, we may very well all have personal tutors, but when they are under pressure to see maybe one hundred students in three days, there’s hardly much of a chance for us

Welfare, comfort and belonging should not be privileges

JOHANNES BLACK

to raise our concerns with them. The University Counselling Service is a valuable resource once you receive an appointment, but it’s wholly insufficient when students have no choice but to wait up to two months for an assessment. Advisers at the Disability Resource Students can’t do much to help students with anxiety disorders when they have hundreds and hundreds of advisees. It is a very positive step that the

Students are often left with little choice but to rely on each other

university has recently launched a welfare section on its website, but it is unfortunately not impossible that people will choose to call it a day after these elementary gestures. Because of the traditionalistic and damaging views held by the university, students are often left with little choice but to rely on each other, whether that be their friend groups, their welfare officers, or members of groups such as Student Minds Cambridge. ANEMONE_123

Surely, however, this can’t be adequate, when these friends and officers and reps are equally facing exams and uncertainty and stress. I recall telling my personal tutor in first year that I was struggling severely with anxiety because of exams, only to learn that he’d apparently later told some other students that people who claim to have anxiety are “wusses”. This would be horrendous enough in itself if it were an isolated incident, but when it is an attitude in which results-driven colleges are wholly complicit, it is a true disgrace. Quiet periods are a disaster for student welfare, but they are sadly part of a much bigger problem. Until the university reflects seriously on its attitude towards anxiety and stress, and its prioritisation of exam results over students’ emotional wellbeing, any attempt to relieve students can only be seen as poorly-informed tokenism.

My personal tutor had told some other students that people who claim to have anxiety are “wusses”

18 January 2018 • The Cambridge Student

Interviews

James Haskell on rugby, social media and good old fashioned hard work A

Felicity Garvey

t 6’3 and over 18 stone, James Haskell is a hard man to miss. Rugby, however, is only one part of his career. He’s an author and a businessman. He also informs us that he’s undefeated at chess – although admittedly, he has only played one game. “I want to be the best rugby player I can be, so that’s my main focus. […] Now, if I lived and breathed that entire thing the whole time, when I had a great moment, it would be unbelievable, but when I get red carded, I would… my head would come off. I would be, emotionally, quite down. But, because I’ve got other things outside of my main occupation, so whether that’s health, fitness, DJ, music, writing, whatever it means, it means I’ve got distractions. So, once that thing’s going badly, I can put that down and I can come back to it.” The red card, of course, refers to his tackle-gone-wrong against Jaime Roberts on 13th January. “I never intended to hurt someone, knock someone out. No one ever does. […] it was only when I turned around and looked that I realised he was hurt.” He explains that, as a player, you can’t concentrate on

the dangers of rugby. “It’s a contact sport. It’s what you sign up for.” When asked what can be done to further promote the women’s sport, he says, “Unfortunately, it all comes down to money”. He admits that it will take a lot more exposure for the game to develop. With regards to tackling, he says: “You have to just get on with it. With anything in life, you go in there half-hearted or you think too much about it, overthink anything, you’re more likely to mess up – to fail […]I know you’ve got deadlines, I know there’s always that pressure on, but, y’know, if you think about the amount of time that you’ve spent on your phone scrolling through stupid stuff on Instagram, you could probably give yourself half an hour in the day to do some training, go outside […] You get one opportunity at this kind of thing… what you put in is essentially what you get out.” Motivation, he explains, can only come from within yourself. “The only people who succeed in life are those who are hard working.” Despite his prolific posting on social media, James Haskell doesn’t seem as totally enamoured withww

“You’ve got one career, you’ve got one life”

it as you might think: “And what you forget is nobody, unless you’re really realistic… is actually telling the truth.” He admits social media probably creates more problems than it solves, though his view isn’t totally negative. “It’s my media, I control it. So without going mad, you can basically break down a few barriers and show people what it’s actually like.” He references videos he made during the Lions tour which provided some of the most candid insight into as to what life was like for the players at the time. Haskell initially missed out on the selection, but following fellow England teammate Billy Vunipola’s injury, he was called up to squad. He spoke about spending time with other Lions, as team mates, rather than previous opponents. “A lot of people forget that when you go onto the field, people change persona. Johnny Sexton, on the field, is an absolute nightmare. Like, I thought I was never going to get off with him. Same with Dan Biggar. Off the field, unbelievable guys. Really good guys.” As for our chances in the Six Nations… well, despite injury, don’t be too down, as James Haskell

thinks they’re ‘really good’. He says, “There’s so much depth in the squad, I think there’s so much talent in there. I believe that whoever comes in and fills those vacant spaces will do an incredible job. Eddie has a habit, with his coaching staff, Paul Gustard, Steve Borthwick and Neal Hatley, that they have an ability to get the best out of players.” Haskell’s book, The Perfect Fit, comes out January 17. George Olcott

How an audio engineer is revolutionising fashion

Munira Raj Interviews Editor

e’ve all heard of food takeaways; you order a meal and it arrives in 45 minutes or so. Cambridge’s Chris Jordan has taken it upon himself to take this idea of offering ultimate convenience and using it to create a fashion experience that is easy for all. His journey from engineering to fashion is an incredible story and proof that you need not stick to that boring course or job to be successful. From a young age, Chris had “a driving passion” for music. This led him to pursue music production and record local artists in his free time. Eventually, he was accepted into a top London university and graduated as an audio engineer. Although he still loved music, he began to realise that “something didn’t quite feel right”. As a result, he took a year off university and realised that being an audio engineer was not for him; “the dream of becoming an audio engineer

started to fizzle away but my ambition continued to grow, I wanted to make something of myself, to make the world a better place”. So he set out to find a problem to solve. Soon, he began working on delivery as a side business. “We were a small short lived operation in Cambridge and we were offering businesses same day delivery services throughout the UK and Europe. We were pretty much like every other courier company trying to win a pricing war, it wasn’t innovative enough for me. I wanted to pioneer something bigger than local businesses, I wanted it to affect everyone’s life”. This led to the creation of Carryr in 2017; Carryr is a Cambridge company, acclaimed as the “Deliveroo of fashion”. “Online shoppers hate being inconvenienced by current logistical solutions. I became hooked once again. After doing a lot of doorknocking, speaking to loads people and professionals I found that the fashion industry is a place where this

“The Deliveroo of fashion”

service would fit in nicely and would put a smile on every customer’s face”. “It ticked all the boxes for me”, Chris remarks, “it was innovative, new, technology-based and solved a big problem in e-commerce”. Chris describes Carryr as a “delivery service” for fashion retailers. “All you have to do is go on to a retailers website, buy a particular item and within an hour we will deliver straight to your door, no matter where you are”. What sets Carryr apart from other similar e-commerce services, Chris mentions, is that they utilise “mobile technology to pin point an exact location of where a customer currently is, rather than asking them to stay in for two or three hours waiting around for us, we come to them”. Millennials are more than familiar with the multitude of problems that come with online shopping. You wait for days only to receive an item that is the wrong colour, wrong fit and often completely different from the photograph you were sold. Carryr eliminates any waiting time

It opens jobs for students

and makes returns easy and efficient. This is made possible through their “one touch return policy”, where if you don’t like it, you can “just push a button and have someone come to collect it from you”. The cost of delivery is split reasonably between the retailer and customer, making it an affordable option for both. Even better – returns are free! The launch of Carryr in Cambridge also opens plenty of job opportunities for local students. “Carryr offers a great opportunity for students who don’t want to spend too much time working because they are heavily involved in studying. In their own time, they can grab a backpack from us and use their bicycle to take stuff from the retailers to the customers”. At the moment, Carryr is being prelaunched and tested at a few boutiques in Cambridge. If you would like to get involved with Carryr, you can follow this link: https:// www.carryr.com/signup-as-a-carryr

The Cambridge Student • 18 January 2018

Interviews

Being a young musician with Jess & The Bandits Munira Raj Interviews Editor

ould you please provide us with an overview of the upcoming tour? We are hitting the road all over the UK. From Glasgow, to London, to Cambridge and as many places in between. We’re so excited to perform the new album, finally! We’ve been to Cambridge while supporting other artists but wanted to make out way there for our headlining tour. We are so excited! There are many young musicians at Cambridge who aspire to release songs and become professional musicians. What advice would you have for them? First and foremost, you have to be willing to pursue a career in music even if you don’t make a penny from it. It has to be for the love of what you do. The hope is always to make money doing what you love but it’s not easy. Second, find out if you are good enough. Don’t go by what friends and family say. I went to some of the

biggest critics in the music industry and wanted to hear the truth. I wanted to know if I was good enough and how I could be better. Don’t be afraid to network and put yourself out there. What advice do you have for busy university students who are struggling to find a balance between their musical career and university lives? If you really want this to be your career, you have to go for it and give it your all. If you’re in school, focus n that of course, but gig on the weekends. Spend downtime working with other aspiring artists and start writing songs. You should constantly be working on your craft. How do you make the choice between practicing music as a hobby and making it a professional choice? If the idea of working for maybe years performing and writing without fame or money as part of it.... make this a hobby. It could happen but most

artist have years and years of work before they “make it”. That’s where the phrase 10 year overnight success came from.

“You have to go for it”

Would you recommend any platforms for such students to start their musical career with? Of course any online platform is great. YouTube, Facebook, Instagram are all wonderful ways to start to make a name for yourself. Also find out about competitions. If you’re a writer, enter songwriting competitions. If you’re a singer, find some local competitions to be in. I auditioned for everything possible! Just be careful not to work with people who are just in it to take your money. Many British students aren’t exposed to country. What are the charms of this genre? It’s all about the storytelling. You just don’t see that in many genres outside of country. Every song had a story behind it and

“People are just in it to take your money”

it’s usually very clear what that story is. Also the country umbrella is very wide. It can span from anything to traditional country, pop country, rock or even gospel. Could you recommend some tracks for those just getting introduced to country music? Check out ‘Every Little Thing’ by Carly Pearce, ‘I Could Use A Love Song’ by Maren Morris and ‘Body Like A Backroad’ by Sam Hunt. Our favourite Jess and The Bandits tracks are the uplifting Nitty Gritty, the soulful Sister, and the straightonto-your-Spotify playlist My Name is Trouble. Give them a listen on Youtube, and let TCS know your favourites, too. Jess and The Bandits are playing in Cambridge on Monday 12th February, at the Cambridge Junction. Tickets are available online. Find more music insight at tcs.cam.ac.uk/music. JESS AND THE BANDITS VIA YOUTUBE

18 January 2018 • The Cambridge Student

Comment

Debate: No Platforming is harmful Harry Clynch

he concept of ‘no platforming’ is an eminently dangerous one, yet one which is nonetheless becoming an ever-more common occurrence in our universities and society as a whole. Put simply, is a patronising, overly paternalistic and fundamentally dangerous idea with the potential to undermine not only the basic right to freedom of speech – which includes the freedom to offend – but democracy as a whole. The basic problem lies in the fact that, once one person or group is subject to no platforming, there will always be those who

make the case to apply similar restrictions to more and more people – ultimately resulting in silence. After all, it inevitably begins without much controversy: barring an evident bigot from the EDL or the like. But the problem with no platforming is that is not where it ends. As we have seen recently, the no platformers incessantly seek to expand their remit; closing down debate on everything from abortion to the Jewish right to self-determination. There is no due process here, no democracy – simply groups of individuals denying others their rights to freedom of speech. No platforming is – not always, but commonly – merely a device used by certain people to close down political debate to their own

They do not fear the extremists, but fear us and what we might become.

benefit. Even when no platforming is adopted as an official policy by organisations like the NUS, its moral premise is dubious. It is important to recognise that, admittedly perhaps inadvertently, those who seek to no platform controversial, unpleasant or even extreme individuals are implicitly distrusting would-be audiences. They deem it to unsafe to unleash questionable views on us, in case we are radicalised into bigots, racists or sexists. They do not fear the extremists, but fear us and what we might become. At best, no platforming is an overly protective, supercilious and selfdefeating notion which causes more harm than good.

No platforming is a great strategy

he no platforming issue will always be a controversial one – critics link the policy to an infringement of freedom of speech, itself a concept that is hotly debated and, at times, difficult to define. Some view no platforming as the suppression of expression, that to restrict certain types of speech is to undermine a fundamental value. This, however, overlooks the basic purpose of the policy – no platforming does not necessarily equate to censorship or violated freedom of speech.The National Union of Students’ (NUS) No Platform

Policy directly addresses this argument: “NUS supports freedom of speech, thought and expression. But NUS opposes those who attempt to utilise this freedom in order to remove freedoms of others.” This captures the main spirit of the policy. No platforming is not directed at the freedom of speech, but at hate speech. Universities should be safe spaces for all students, and when there is the possibility of any such group being threatened or discriminated against, then students should have the right to decide whether the attacking views should be broadcasted at all. There is no value in airing bigoted opinions,

The year ahead Harry Clynch

especially if students already recognise the hateful nature of them. Intellectual discussions and dialogues can be started even without having to invite speakers to ignite them through controversy, and universities should be first and foremost looking to protect oppressed groups. Some participants in this debate have branded students today as “snowflakes” and as being too sensitive, but the issue at stake here is really humanity. The impetus of modern no platforming comes largely from BME, LGBT+ and other marginalised groups.

Universal Credit is a potential disaster for Cambridge Josephine Skorupski Comment Editor

n the face of it, Universal Credit seems an eminently sensible idea: bringing all benefits together into one payment simplifies a complicated system and sharpens work incentives. Yet the rollout of Universal Credit, due to hit Cambridge City Council area in May, has been far from simple with claimants put at risk of debt and eviction due to long delays over payment. Regardless of whether universal credit is well-intentioned, its implementation has been too flawed and its effects too harmful for the scheme to have any credibility. In a ‘city of two halves – where many families struggle to make ends meet’, according to local MP David Zeichner, with around 3,640 children are already living in families affected by debt – the scheme is hailed a “disaster waiting to happen”. Despite the government’s attempt to simplify the benefit system, claimants report Universal Credit is complex, faulty and difficult to manage, particularly for those without reliable access to the internet. For many without any other sources of income, and little to no savings, a waiting time of five weeks before they receive any

money, risks plunging claimants into hunger, destitution or even homelessness. In Cambridge, the maximum a single parent with children can receive is £384 a week, bearing in mind average rents of the area being in excess of £800 a month, this is very little to live on. Universal credit will also leave families poorer than they were under the previous system. The government introduced a benefit cap, as a result of aims to cut £12bn a year off the welfare bill. If a claimant’s benefits exceed that amount, the cap is applied to their housing benefit entitlement. The scheme was meant to transform lives for the better, yet now seems little more than another austerity measure to hurt the poor. The implementation of Universal Credit in Cambridge may result in a sharp rise in evictions, in a city with already high levels of homelessness. Benefit caps, six-week minimum delays in payments, as well as the fact that housing benefit is now directly paid to tenants rather than landlords, has resulted in a steep increase of rent arrears in areas where Universal Credit has already been rolled out. While, in theory, this allows claimants to have more control over their finances and better prepares them for the world of work, in practice, it leaves desperate tenants faced with the choice

It seems little more than an austerity measure to hurt the poor.

between paying their landlord or feeding and clothing their families. The figures speak for themselves: in Islington, 81% of Universal Credit claimants were in arrears, compared to 29% across all its tenants, Plymouth Community Homes reported 69% of claimants in arrears, compared to 29% of all tenants. And in Southwark, use of its main foodbank, Pecan, is reported to have tripled among children in September 2017. Cambridge, already dubbed the ‘most unequal city’ in the UK, must brace itself for similar effects. Rather than accomplishing what it set out to do - increasing individual autonomy and work incentives - Universal Credit seems to be doing the opposite, having a humiliating effect on up to eight million people. Is this – evictions, poverty, hunger – what we want for the future of our city?

Georgrapher

fter the sheer eventfulness of 2016 and 2017, will 2018 be the year that politics finally settles down and goes back to normal? Not likely. Firstly, there is the small matter of Brexit to deal with. And with Michel Barnier, the EU’s chief negotiator, saying that he wants the deal to be struck by October – allowing time for the agreement to be ratified by national parliaments as well as, crucially, the European Parliament – we will almost certainly see a frantic ten months, with Brexit dominating the domestic and international agenda, as ministers scramble to try and get a deal agreed at a rapid pace. With the Prime Minister stating her aim to be a “deep and comprehensive” free trade agreement in goods and services, it is unlikely that ten months will be sufficient time for all of this to be negotiated. My personal prediction is that we will see a transition agreement reached– in which the United Kingdom, de facto if not officially, remains a member of the single market and customs union for a period of 18 months to two years after March 2019– before the broad principles of a future free trade deal are outlined in October, with the details to be confirmed during the transition period. We might also see manoeuvring with regards to a future Tory leadership election. The consensus in the Conservative Party seems to be that the Prime Minister will step down sometime between Brexit Day in March 2019 and the general election, currently scheduled for 2022. This could prove to be difficult. After all, May seems intent to carry on and appears to be positioning herself to do so. Notable for their absence in the Cabinet after the Prime Minister’s reshuffle earlier this month were valuable ‘rising stars’ of the Conservative Party such as Rory Stewart, Tom Tugendhat and Dominic Raab – with the suggestion being May deliberately deprived them of the Cabinet experience they would surely need to launch a successful bid for the party leadership and therefore the premiership.

The Cambridge Student • 18 January 2018

Wikimedia COmmons

Comment

Gays of our lives: the case of the entombed men Isabella Leandersson

So although we will undoubtedly see ambitious MPs beginning to position themselves for a leadership bid, the lack of any obvious successor to May will see her job secured for at least the next year – and perhaps beyond. The local elections this year will also be a test for both parties. Labour will hope to build on the momentum gained after last year’s general election – though, remember, they still lost and so will need to show evidence of gains if they are to aspire to government. Though the overall picture probably will not change, it will be interesting to see if Labour can inspire similar levels of youth turnout as in the general election– probably not would be my guess, local elections being a rather less glamorous affair than that of a nationwide election. That said, Labour will no doubt attempt to generate, indeed carry on, the sense of excitement and optimism amongst younger voters which motivated them to vote in big numbers last year. With the new party chairman Brandon Lewis and his team, the Conservatives will almost certainly finally try and match Labour in terms of social media campaigning, though may find their own process of modernisation a tough challenge. The local elections, however, could provide a good test to get CCHQ into shape for the next general election, whenever that may be held.

2018 be a historic year in British political history. By the end, we will have a clearer picture of where the country’s future lies outside the European Union as the terms of our seismic withdrawal from the EU become more developed. We may even have a clearer idea of what our next government might look like, depending on the results of the local elections. But, in a sense, if the events of the last two years have taught us anything, it is that political predictions– and indeed articles like these– are pointless. We can predict nothing. Everything has changed.

n 1962, Mounir Basta (the Chief Inspector of Lower Egypt at the time) descended into the darkness of the Necropolis of Saqqara - a site now host to an archaeological museum boasting 4.5 stars according to Google maps! What he found there would shock him to his very core, it appeared to be two men embracing. Or, the image of two men embracing rather. Puzzled, Basta asked himself “Were they two brothers? Were they father and son?” or were they perhaps, gasp, gay? The gentlemen in question bore the names of Niankhkhnum and Khnumhotep, and lived approximately 4382 years ago, in the 24th century BCE. They served in Pharao Nyuserre Ini’s palace as overseers of the manicurists, and have since their tomb’s ‘discovery’ (I mean, it’s not like it was lost: they chose for it to be there) confused a lot of academics (something I’m familiar with). The problem centres around the ambiguity surrounding their relationship, as the kinship term sn, usually taken to mean brother, actually has several meanings including “friend, lover, and colleague.” So, what was their relationship like? Is there

“Were they perhaps, gasp, gay?

any way of knowing? Further into the tomb, in the rockcut chamber, an elaborate banquet scene is depicted, with Niankhkhnum and Khnumhotep seated opposite each other as heads of the table. In and of itself, this might elicit a low ping on the gay-dar. After all, people in platonic relationships dine together all the time. What’s interesting about this depiction is that seemingly, Niankhkhnum’s wife was originally supposed to be in it, but had been erased. Both of the men’s wives are given secondary roles to their husbands compared to their husband’s relationship to each other, in fact. Nowhere is this as painfully obvious as in the portrait at the entrance to the offering chamber. It shows the two men standing face to face, looking into each other’s eyes, so close that their noses are touching. Niankhkhnum is supporting Khnumhotep’s forearm, whilst Khnumhotep embraces Niankhkhnum’s back and rests his hand on his shoulder. This pose is paralleled in both the tombs of Uhemka and Kai, where a wife is shown

embracing her husband in this way. It was a motif similar to this one that Basta would have seen, and understandably he was surprised. Combining images like these with depictions of banquets where the music played is on the theme of Horus and Seth, the “Two Divine Brothers,” a story with possible homoerotic undertones depending on the telling, and the evidence seems rainbow coloured indeed. The remains of Niankhkhnum and Khnumhotep have never been found. We have no physical evidence of them, we cannot see or feel their bones or reconstruct their faces, like we’ve done with Tutankhamun or Henry VIII. But the motifs remain, and tell their own story, and their own truth, all this time later. It is strange to think that, somehow, one does not require a body to be immortal. Next week we will look at the depiction of same-sex love between women among the ruins of Pompeii. We will ask what were the lives of lesbians in ancient Italy like? Source: Same-Sex Desire, Conjugal Constructs, and the Tomb of Niankhkhnum and Khnumhotep By Greg Reeder. Wikimedia Commons

Surprise, surprise: a lack of fun causes stress Iván Merker Comment Editor

ews broke that the university found out that ‘quiet periods’ cause stress. Well, we are all surprised. No one could have told. How can it be stressing that we are expected to lock up in our rooms/the libraries for a month or two before exams? Quiet periods have a very benevolent premise: colleges should allow students to have an undisturbed working environment especially during exam term. No one can concentrate with a large group of tourists below their window or a noisy college bar next to their rooms. However, it isn’t surprising that many feel worse due to this system. For a start, people have different needs in studying. I have a friend who managed to get a 2.1 with hardly any studying. He may be an extreme, but depending on your course and many personal factors, you may need more or less time to study. Some people also finish earlier than others.

If you have to live in an environment which is about studying all the time you will feel guilty if you don’t study that much. If you continue studying less, this will make you feel anxious about your exams. Surely, some of these people should study more, but some have to face unnecessary stress. And there are those who need some non-study related impulse during studying in order to be less frustrated. Your college emptying out may strip you from that, too. But even if you have to study all the time, having some time off will undoubtedly make your life less stressful, even if that would make you academically less successful. It is important that colleges help those who want to study in quiet the right environment. But it is equally important that those who need an evening off can go to the college bar. We are adults, after all, who try to balance academic success, having fun and extracurricular activities on a regular basis. Cambridge colleges push you to value

We are adults, after all, who try to balance academic success and having fun

academic success, but they seem to forget that it should be you who should find the right balance, and in my experience exams not taken seriously enough is a rare phenomenon in Cambridge. (My friend is pretty much the exception.) Pushing us to study more is quite paternalistic. This is especially so because too much stress and fragile mental health can in the long run stop you from performing well in the exams: for example, many people are blocked if under too much stress. Again, this depends on your personality: I personally perform no worse or even better under stress in written, but not in spoken exams. But even more importantly, I try to keep stress to the exam halls, not to libraries because long-term stress is damaging. The colleges should revise their policies in order to reduce stress significantly over Easter Term. And this means to leave students to decide their own revision methods.

18 January 2018 • The Cambridge Student

Comment

The value of new beginnings for older classics Hannah Dyball

n recent times, remastered editions have gotten a rather undeserved bad reputation among some gamers. Even uttering the dreaded word is enough to send their blood boiling. With veins bursting and eyes bulging, they unleash a tirade on the evils of the modern gaming industry; a condemnation of the boundless avarice of the publisher for recycling and re-releasing older games so that naive consumers, mesmerised by the alluring promise of slightly upscaled graphics, are gifted the opportunity to pay for the game all over again. The purists among these ranks contend that the game could never be as good as it once was and that any self-respecting ‘real gamer’ would have their video game in the original as God intended. However, with the recent news that this year Dark Souls is to be remastered for PS4, Xbox One, PC and the newly christened Nintendo Switch, it is time that we explore why remastering older games is so important for gamers. There are some games that we simply cannot forget. Some are the first we played, some are those we loved, some are just games that got us through difficult parts of our lives and offered a distraction for which we will be forever grateful. With time, these games fade from the forefront of our memory and

replaced with other games while, quite unbeknownst to us, a mist of rosetinted nostalgia descends upon our favourite titles. I remember seeing the first trailers for the Crash Bandicoot N. Sane trilogy and returning to the original only to realise, to my horror, that Crash hadn’t always looked so crisp and detailed. Casting my eyes upon that earlier angular marsupial, I realised that he had grown and matured with me in

my own mind, while his actual digital form had remained the same. Remastered editions are a perfect way to keep the memory of a beloved character alive because they recreate them every bit as vividly as we do. Unfortunately, not everyone will remember older titles; gamers come in all shapes, sizes and ages. Some are late starters, some were too young to play them, while others simply missed them somewhere along the way.

Remastered editions give new players the chance to experience classic games without having to switch to PC or buy another console. We should be thrilled for this new crop of gamers: think of the things that they have missed. They have not have looked into the mournful eyes of a gentle Colossus as it resigns itself to its rotten and unkind fate. They have not faced the terrible realisation of the true meaning of the words ‘would you kindly’. Om285 via wikimedia commons

They have not repeatedly bashed their head against the wall after having the next bonfire almost within their grasp then watching it slip away, in agony, yet again. Finally, we must not sniff at the improvements that have been made to these games. Dark Souls, in particular, was a highly ambitious title for 2011; imagine what it could do with 2018’s game engines. Moreover, remasters can include extra or DLC content that many gamers were not able to play. They are the old games with just enough of a new twist to change the experience of playing the games without producing an entirely new game altogether. This means that they can change people’s opinions of the games by producing older ambitious titles in a context where the developers’ vision might be better realised. It also means that gamers who were too young or too inexperienced to finish an older game are given another chance to do so with equipment that they are now familiar with and comfortable using.Remasters breathe new life into games; they are not just soulless carbon-copies. They can give games and gamers a second chance to perform at their best in the perpetually changing and competitive world of gaming. Some, inevitably, will fail; but it is important that we at least give them a shot.

Farage is wrong on a second Brexit referendum Harry Clynch

igel Farage, starved of publicity in the aftermath of the historic Brexit vote, has been causing somewhat of a stir this week – as he no doubt intended – with his comments on a second referendum on our membership of the European Union. “Maybe, just maybe,” the UKIP man said, “I’m reaching the point of thinking that we should have a second referendum…on EU membership.” Without any shadow of a doubt, a second referendum on Brexit would be the single worst thing this country could do to itself. In the short term, it would undermine the government’s negotiating position and incentivise Brussels to offer us the worst possible deal, but, in the long term, would also create more profound, deep-rooted socio-political problems which could tear our country apart. The premise of Farage’s statement is misplaced. He stated that a second

referendum – in which he presumed the majority for Leave would be increased – would “kill off ” the Remain campaign for good. Even if Leave did win, this would simply not be the case. The likes of Lord Adonis, Sir Nick Clegg and Tony Blair – who, by the way, refused to rule out the possibility of a third referendum in a recent interview – are ardent Europhiles who will never cease in their efforts to keep Britain in the European Union and overturn the result of the referendum. Another, increased vote for Leave would do nothing to deter them carrying on fighting. It is also wrong to presume that Leave would necessarily win. Though the behaviour of Brussels in the aftermath of our vote for Brexit, combined with the belief of the vast majority of the public that the verdict of a democratic referendum should be respected, would make a Remain victory very

unlikely, these are the most volatile political times in modern history – and nothing could be ruled out. And if the country were to vote Remain, we would find ourselves in one of the most serious constitutional crises we have ever experienced. Notwithstanding aggrieved Brexiteers’ inevitable calls for a third referendum – and how could they be reasonably refused? – we would have highly contentious legal questions to answer. Is Article 50 reversible? If it is, would we re-enter on the same terms of before, or be treated as a ‘new’ member and therefore be forced to join the Euro and Schengen? Would we need a new referendum to confirm the public’s consent to these terms? All of this would reduce Britain to a laughing-stock on the world stage and embroil us in a series of even more damaging legal and political disputes. It would also set a worrying and unsustainable precedent of perpetual

referenda, with the result that this fundamental issue would never – and could never – be settled. As David Cameron said shortly before the Brexit vote: “The Leave campaign is wrong to say there’ll be a second referendum if we vote to remain in the EU. This is a referendum and not a neverendum.” However, more profoundly, the social divides, so starkly revealed by the decision to leave the EU, would become irreparable. After all, one of the main demographics which propelled the Leave campaign to victory was those fundamentally disillusioned with ‘big politics’ and their elected representatives – partly constituting people who hadn’t even voted in general elections for generations – which felt the direction of the country was going in a direction they never wanted or consented to. They felt they were being governed by an unaccountable elite, in Westminster

and Brussels, who paid little attention to their plight, who arrogantly dismissed their views towards immigration as bigoted; their desire for self-governance as nativist. What better way to aggravate this already grave distrust of politicians and confirm suspicions of out-of-touch elitism, than to tell the people that they got it wrong, and must vote again? Rather than wasting precious time arguing over abstract constitutional matters, we should address the pressing concerns which motivated people to vote for Brexit, and deliver on the choice the British people made in a free and fair referendum. To do otherwise would exacerbate already grave social problems and, perhaps, render them irremediable. considering the possible downsides of calling a referendum, is reported to have said: “You could unleash demons of which ye know not.”

The Cambridge Student • 18 January 2018

Sport KITYA MARK

The sporting world, in their own words T Finn Ranson Sports Editor

Reportedly proposes a breakaway union at an ATP players’ meeting, he new year has dawned, and, demanding a significant rise in along with the rest of us, the prizemoney. sporting world becomes a touch philosophical. Read on for TCS’ Most unfortunate turn of phrase favourite statements from managers The Metro on last month’s revelations in the north east: “A football supporter and players alike. whose team have not won at home for almost a year was arrested after pulling Least Minced Words Doncaster Rovers boss Darren his pants down during a match. Fellow Ferguson on the standard of Sunderland fans said the teenager refereeing in League One following had defecated on his seat during their draw with Plymouth: “They’re Saturday’s 3-1 defeat to Reading at the part-time, the standard’s appalling, Stadium of Light. A club spokesman their fitness levels are a disgrace. It’s said the matter was in the hands of disgusting the standard of referees Northumbria Police.” at this level.” When asked what he Dyche’s Delicacies would like to see the FA do the former On a recent Danish football podcast, Manchester United player channelled ex-Denmark international Søren his inner Clarkson: “Shoot them. It’d Andersen revealed that his Bristol City be a good idea.” teammate Sean Dyche used to pick up earthworms on the training pitch and Toughest Pill to Swallow June 2016: Tennis star Novak eat them. The secret behind Burnley’s Djokovic becomes the first tennis new-found success? player in history to earn more than $100 million in prize money. May 2017: Announces a clothing deal with Lacoste estimated to be worth around $33 million from his home in tax haven Monte Carlo. Last week:

In other dietary news WBO world heavyweight champion Joseph Parker, due to fight Anthony Joshua on 31 March, commenting on a recent boat trip: “I bit a fish’s head off and killed it. I caught the snapper,

“A supporter was arrested for pulling his pants down at a match”

picked it up, took the hook off and it was shaking. They [fellow passengers] looked at me like I was a weirdo. Those boxers better be careful, man!” After eating one raw fish in Samoa against his team’s advice, the fighter was left paralysed for three days.

Home Truths Billie Jean King calls out the Australian Open for not renaming the Margaret Court Arena in a press conference with tournament director Craig Tiley on Friday: “It’s really important if you’re going to have a name on anything that you’re hospitable, you’re inclusive, that you open your arms to everyone who comes to a public facility. I personally don’t think she should have [her name on it] anymore.” In an interview with Vision Christian Radio back in May, 24time grand slam champion Court said: “Tennis is full of lesbians... We’re there to help them overcome. We’re not against the people. [I’ve got] nothing against homosexuals.” Court claimed that a “gay lobby” was trying to “get [into] the minds

of children” through Australia’s Safe Schools anti-bullying program, adding that transgender children were the work of “the devil”.

“We all end up the same, don’t we?”

From the Union Wasps, England and recentlycapped Lion James Haskell’s prematch Netflix recommendations: “A bit of Alan Partridge, maybe some Blackadder, Dad’s Army, some Shooter.” Also revealed an unhealthy fascination with David Brent. Looking Ahead Former Brazil forward and threetime World Cup winner Pelé comes to the Union 22 January, 7pm. Here’s what to expect: Dark existentialsm: “Everything on earth is a game. A passing thing. We all end up dead. We all end up the same, don’t we?” Bizarre predictions: “Nicky Barmby is up there with Zinedine Zidane, Paolo Maldini and Ronaldo.” He received 23 England caps and spent eight years of his career at Hull City. And: “The level of football in England is the top. English football is the leader in the world.”

18 January 2018 • The Cambridge Student

Sport

In Their Own Words:

Ferguson’s Rant, Djokovic’s Woes, and Parker’s Diet→p. 19

www.tcs.cam.ac.uk/sport

The 2017 Varsity Ski Trip In Pictures

Winter Wonderland: Thousands of Oxbridge students swapped December gloom for the sparkling slopes of Tignes. Credit: Jen Atherton. It was a triumphant 10 days out on the slopes of the French Alps. The skiing Varsity race is the oldest skiing team race in history, its inception dating back to 1922. Cambridge secured a magnificent Blues double, just days after the men and women lifted trophies at Twickenham. However, for the vast majority, the trip was not a Varsity cauldron, but a picturesque alpine escape. Slaloming, snowboarding and tumbling down the slopes of Tignes, Oxbridge students had quite the week. Relive it - check out the website, www.tcs.cam.ac.uk/sport, for more snaps, plus a full preview of the University sport calendar this term.

The Game They Play in Heaven: A Fan’s Heartfelt Ode to Rugby Lewis Thomas

hen I’m in London, I tend to drink in a small pub by Waterloo called The Hole in The Wall. They’re quiet, show sport, and serve good beer at good prices. I dropped in on my way back to Cambridge from the Varsity Match, and found myself chatting to a few Welsh blokes at the bar- they were all middle aged, and most had some degree of Cambridge stash. Asked if they were from the uni, their leader laughed - they’d come because one of the Cambridge players was from their part of the world, and they felt like he could use the support. They’d taken days off from work and crossed down to Twickenham, so they could sit in the Cambridge end and cheer on one of their own. This is the thing with rugby - it means community. The major sides in the Premiership have stadiums the size of a Championship football team’s, and it trails behind football everywhere in the Northern Hemisphere except Wales and Ireland. The Southern Hemisphere’s another matter - I don’t know what it is about the New Zealanders, but they’re almost fetishistic about the game. This community feel extends to Cambridge, where the rugby community spreads beyond the players. Unlike rowing, with Boat Club Dinners cultivating an image of a world apart, rugby becomes involved in the communities in which it’s played. This is not even a matter of playing the

game - it’s a matter of following it, of knowing the sport. There’s a special place for players, obviously, but there’s still a role for those who can talk about the merits of a good Lock, or simply enjoy the atmosphere at a match at Grange Road. Sports are more than their players. They’re the coaches, the fans, the writers. They’re everyone who feels sufficiently invested to back a team, and to stand in the torrential rain to cheer them on. Land Rover run a series of adverts during the Premiership under the slogan “this is our game”. To some of us, Rugby is our game- it’s the game we’re exposed to as children by fathers and uncles, or introduced to at school. It’s the game that lurks in the back of our minds, and whose matches (watched or played) provide a sort of punctuation. It’s a topic guaranteed to smooth conversations- to establish common ground where there might otherwise be none. To those who know it, rugby lurks. So, week in week out as children, we lace up our boots and go out to a school or club pitch, to mess about with tackle dummies and dummy passes. We freeze, we moan, and some of us love it. Some of us stay with the game, carry on through childhood, while others drift off as they see their peers accelerate away, and get their attention caught by other things - work, study, other interests. Then, as teenagers and adults, some come back to it- some as players, some as fans. I’ll

admit - I’m one of the worst players to ever walk the earth. I spent more time on the ground feeling sorry for myself at school than I did scoring. So now, instead of playing, I watch the matches and write about them. The Six Nations kick off next month. For that, I’ll make the trip from college to pub, to pray that Scotland and Wales make a run for glory. I’ll chat with my mates, I’ll think of watching matches when I was a kid, and of my great-uncle’s stories of playing in the fifties. But mostly, I’ll focus on what’s happening on the pitch. Rugby’s many things. It’s celebrating in the stands when your team wins a tournament, with half of North London screaming over your head. It’s gritting your teeth in the College Library and praying that Hogg can get a burst of speed, that he can outrun the All Black nipping at his heels, that he can achieve the impossible. It’s afternoons and evenings spent with friends in rammed pubs, watching teams from countries you’ve never visited duke it out. It’s punctuation. It’s a break in the weekend, in the term, in the day. It’s eighty minutes where the only thing that matters - fan or player - is what happens on the pitch, and that it happens cleanly. It’s all of these things, and more. This is the game they play in heaven, and the game they watch too.