February Magazine 2016 by The Camposol District Journal

THE

URNAL

February ~ 2016

Costa Cálida’s AWARD WINNING free magazine

Águilas - Lorca - Totana - Condado - Alhama - Camposol - Fuente Alamo - Pto de Mazarrón - Cartagena - Calasparra - Caravaca - Cehegín - Mar Menor - Mula - Moratalla

The Jerez Flamenco Festival

FUN NEW COMPETION SEE PAGE 4 FOR A CHANCE TO WIN A MEAL FOR 2!!!

JOURNAL

THE Dear Readers,

Welcome to the February 2016 edition of The Journal! As always we have been working very hard to bring you another fun filled, action packed magazine, and we really hope that you enjoy reading it! As you can tell from our front cover this month the Flamenco festival takes place in the Andalusian town of Jerez, and we have some stunning photos and a great article about the history of the event and also a fantastic Flamenco crossword! Our resident agony uncle -Uncle Paul is once again on hand to help with your problems, and due to his increasing popularity Uncle Paul now has his own Facebook page! You can “Like” his page and submit your problems by getting on to Facebook and searching “Uncle Paul´s Problem Page” Here at The Journal we love a good competition and this month we are delighted to bring you the “Miles Water Hero” competition! In order to be in with the chance of winning a scrumptious Menu del Dia for two people at Bar Med in El Allamillo, all you need to do is find the image of the “Miles Water Hero” hidden in this month magazine. Full details of the competition can be found later in the magazine! Good to everyone! To keep you entertained we have another fantastic Spanish book review by Caroline Angus Baker and as always we have a great column from our Welsh Wonder Dawn Llewellyn Price. On a final note, before I go and let you enjoy this month’s magazine, I would like to say a huge thank you to our very talented graphic designer Danny McCarthy from Insignia Graphics who as always, works tirelessly, without complaint and does a fantastic job on both The Journal and The Costa Property Pages! Keep up the good work! See you in March! Robbie Rutherford Proud to be a climate neutral publication

News brought to you in conjunction with Tumbit- the leading website for News, Legal, Financial and Procedural information in Spain Note to all advertisers, and contributors: Any new adverts, changes to existing adverts or articles for inclusion in the following month’s magazine should be with us by no later that the 13th of the current month.

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ART WORK Danny McCarthy Insignia Graphics 618 615 903 CONTACT DETAILS www.thejournalspain.es 968 103 008 CONTRIBUTORS Dawn Llewellyn-Price The gazpacho-monk Paul Cosco Ben Van Nimmen Shirley Ann Fisher Anne Bennett The Camposol Farmacia TO ADVERTISE

CALL: 664 287 099 DISCLAIMER: Whilst every effort is made to ensure the accuracy of the contents of this publication, no responsibilities can be accepted for inaccuracies, however caused. The information carried in this magazine is for guidance only.You should never act or refrain from action, on the basis of any such information.You should take appropriate professional advice on your particular circumstances. The opinions expressed are not necessarily the views of the publishers. The Journal Dawn Llewellyn-Price does not accept liability for any goods & John Brown services featured.

Patrick Waller Shirley Ann Fisher Anne Bennett Allan Doyle Debs Jenkins

THE JOURNAL SPAIN

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Opening Times: Mon to Fri: 9.30am to 6pm - Sat: 10am to 2pm Office: Unit 43, Calle Jara. Commercial El Saladillo, Camposol 30870 Mazarron, Murcia, Spain Call us Now: +44 (0) 8450 177 805 | Local Number: (+34) 968 199 188 | Email: sales@spanishproperty.co.uk Follow us on: facebook.com/mercersspanishproperty | Visit our web: www.spanishproperty.co.uk

Outrage over Archbishop of Spain comments against women

comments were still published in the Our Father parish bulletin shortly after they were made. Rodriguez described how the root cause of violence and abuse against women is as a result of “’disobedience” ‘or often the macho reaction comes about because she asked for a separation.” He was quoted as saying : “The majority of cases of domestic violence happen because the woman’s partner does not accept them, or rejects them for not accepting their demands.” The Metro reported that there has already been a call for him to be jailed for inciting violence against women. Thousands of Spanish women have taken to social media to show their disapproval at the comments made. In addition to this a number of protests have also taken place all over Spain.

Despite the backlash received, the

Iran is planning investment in the construction of an oil refinery in Spain with the capacity of refining 200,000 barrels of oil per day, a top official said. The project will guarantee Iran’s oil sale to Spain, Abbas Kazemi, Deputy Petroleum Minister and managing director of National Iranian Oil Refining and Distribution Company (NIORDC), told Irna, Iran’s official news agency. Spanish companies have offered a series of proposals for the setting up of refinery in the country, using Iranian crude oil, Kazemi explained. Iran will bear 50 per cent of the cost

Firewood for Sale

Your Chance To Win A Menu Del Dia For 2 People at Bar Med, El Alamillo, Puerto de Mazarron. All you have to do is find a smaller version of this image which has been hidden in THIS magazine.

There will be one winner each month who will be randomly selected by the Editor from the correct answers. The winner will be contacted by their preferred means of contact. The Editor´s decision is final . There is no`prize alternative. The prize cannot be transferred to any other person and the meal must be booked directly with Bar Med Tel 968 59 58 64. Happy Hunting!!

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When you find him just send us an email to mileswaterhero@ aol.com or call into Bar Med saying exactly where he is, give us your name and preferred means of contact.

Iran plans investment in Spanish oil refinery

Spanish Archbishop, Braulio Rodriguez, has come under fire for saying that woman are to blame for domestic abuse committed against them. He made the comments during a Mass at Toledo Cathedral on 27th December, insinuating that domestic violence happens because ‘women do not obey men.’

of development of the refinery, while the remainder will be borne by Spanish firms, he said, noting that talks were underway for the proposal.

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Spain’s Princess Cristina court case underway

His supposedly non-profit company was allegedly used as a vehicle to win falsely inflated contracts from regional government bodies, before channelling the money to personal accounts via tax havens. The amount of public funds paid to Urdangarin’s Noos Institute has been calculated at 5.6m euros according to the report. Princess Cristina, 50, was a board member at the charitable Noos sports foundation and, with Urdangarin, co-owned a real estate company

Spain’s Princess Cristina court case has begun. She will become the first member of the country’s royal family to be put on trial. King Felipe’s sister faces tax fraud charges as part of an alleged embezzlement scam involving her husband and 16 other defendants, who all deny the charges. In the courtroom in Palma, Majorca, the princess will be accused of being an accomplice to tax fraud, along with her husband Inaki Urdangarin.

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called Aizoon, which prosecutors say was used to launder embezzled funds. Princess Cristina, however, has so far refused to renounce her right to succession and remains sixth in line to the Spanish

throne. Spending Christmas with Urdangarin and their four children in Geneva, where the couple moved in 2013, the princess is reported to be upset at her brother’s cold treatment. “It is very hard to be abandoned by your family,” she was quoted as saying in the online publication El Espanol by the journalist Ana Romero, a respected royal observer whose book about King Juan Carlos’s abdication, Final de Partida (End of the Game), has become a bestseller in Spain. But a judicial process that has already seen many twists and turns may still provide one more which could prevent the princess from being judged.

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Unlike Urdangarin, Cristina is accused only by a private prosecution brought by an obscure right-wing trade union. Public prosecutors argued that the 50year-old princess was not aware she was helping her husband to launder money and avoid paying tax. But the investigating judge agreed with the union Manos Limpias (Clean Hands) that she should face trial on two counts of tax fraud relating to 2007 and 2008. The union is asking for the royal to be jailed for an improbable eight years. However, the princess’s defence team will ask the trial judges that their client be acquitted, under a legal principle which allows a defendant to walk free if they are only accused by private prosecutors and not the state. The princess’s lawyer, Miquel Roca, said this week he was “totally confident” that Princess Cristina would not have to go through with the trial. It has emerged that the princess will be seated at one end of the third and final row of accused, right next to the area reserved for the media. She was already the object of a media frenzy when having to attend a Majorca courthouse to testify before the investigating judge in 2014. The courtroom will also have space for 36 members of the public. The trial is due to end on June the 30th.

Spain calls on UK for dialogue over Gibraltar and Falklands The UK has reiterated that the sovereignty of Gibraltar is not a matter for discussion or negotiation with Spain. This follows a call by the Spanish Foreign Ministry for a resumption of bilateral dialogue with the UK over Gibraltar. The caretaker government in Madrid issued a statement supporting Argentina’s invitation to the UK to discuss the sovereignty of the Falklands, and calling on the British Government to do likewise with Spain in respect of Gibraltar. It said the “territorial integrity” of both Argentina and Spain are affected. However the Gibraltar elected government pointed out that the UK has said it will not transfer the sovereignty of the Rock to another state against the wishes of its people, nor enter into a process of negotiations with which Gibraltar is not content. It emphasises that the Gibraltar government will never consent to any sovereignty talks with Spain. Therefore, Madrid’s hope for a resumption of bilateral talks is at best unrealistic and at worst raising false hopes. The Gibraltar government calls on Spain to finally enter the 21st century and abandon its medieval sovereignty claim and the aggressive manner in

which it has recently pursued it. The Spanish statement followed on Argentina’s new conservative government Sunday’s 3 January statement reiterating the country’s claims on the Falklands, calling on Britain to start talks on the Islands’ sovereignty “as soon as possible”. “In common with Argentina, Spain seeks bilateral dialogue with the UK to find a definitive solution to both issues that impact on the territorial integrity of Argentina and Spain,” the Ministry for Foreign Affairs in Madrid said in a statement. However the statement drew an immediate reaction from the British and Gibraltar governments, which both dismissed any suggestion of bilateral sovereignty talks against the wishes of the Gibraltarians. “Our position on the sovereignty of Gibraltar is unchanged,” a spokesman for the Foreign and Commonwealth Office said. “We will protect the right of the people of Gibraltar to determine their political future. The UK will never enter into arrangements under which the people of Gibraltar would pass under the sovereignty of another State against their wishes.” “Furthermore, the UK will not enter into any process of sovereignty negotiations with which Gibraltar is not content. We believe that dialogue involving the UK, Spain and Gibraltar, remains the best means to make progress towards a better relationship with Spain over Gibraltar in the long term.”

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Changes in the Law affecting Homebuyers Have you received a Regional Tax Office valuation check and don’t know what to do about it? Those people that bought properties in Spain during the last four years and paid transfer tax on the price paid for the property as opposed to its ‘market value’ as officially listed by the tax office, may have received a nasty surprise in the post…a demand from the tax office asking them for payment of additional tax on the property, as a result of a valuation check, known in Spanish as a ‘Comprobación de valores’. According to a recent article in ‘’

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rate of success. If you or anyone you know have received a tax demand, then do not delay in contacting us. If you need any advice on this or any other matter then please call us on 968 15 57 85 or email maz@ abadabogados.com

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Spain arrests Five Liverpool men over £480m cocaine plot

£730,000 (1 million euros)

Five Liverpool men were arrested over an alleged plot to smuggle cocaine worth £480m out of northern Spain - the biggest in the Galicia region for two decades. The National Crime Agency (NCA) suspect the drugs were due to be smuggled out of the country in a specially adapted van and were destined for Merseyside. A gun and one million euro in cash £730,000 - were also seized by Spanish police, acting on a tip-off from the NCA. A 41-year-old man from Kingston in Surrey and a man aged 50 from Thornbury in Gloucestershire were also held, along with two Spaniards and two Dutch men. Police swooped on a warehouse in Galicia, north west Spain, where the

2016

gang were about to load part of the stash into a secret compartment in the roof of a van.

weeks after Spanish police and the NCA worked to intercept an alleged £240m drugs plot.

The ECHO understands that the British gang had put down a 500,000 euro (£360,000) deposit for the first 700kg of the drug, which was due to be driven back to the UK stashed in the adapted van. Spanish national police described the gang as a “major international drug trafficking organization dedicated to maritime transport of cocaine from South America to Europe”. They said the drug was imported to Spain by boat and that the traffickers had agreed to the sell the wares to Brits based on the Costa del Sol. The raid came just

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Regional Goverment to keep Corvera Airport concession payment

The regional Government of Murcia looks set to keep the 7 million euro sum paid to them by Aeromur for the concession to operate Corvera Airport back in 2007. This comes in spite of the company, led by construction company SACYR losing the concession due to their inability to bring the facility into operation in 2013. A court hearing ruled in favor of the

regional government, which overruled an earlier appeal by Aeromur, considering the sum a penalty for â&#x20AC;&#x153;breaching its obligations â&#x20AC;&#x153;. Minister of Public Works and Infrastructure, Francisco Barnabas, commented that the ruling was â&#x20AC;&#x153;good newsâ&#x20AC;? because it confirms everything that the regional government had done concerning Corvera Airport â&#x20AC;&#x153;is consistent with the lawâ&#x20AC;? and that it is Aeromur â&#x20AC;&#x153;which has failedâ&#x20AC;?. Pressed on the future of the Airport, Barnabas stated how he expected to pass 3 milestones in the coming months : One of them is completing the agreement with AENA for the opening of Corvera and closure of San Javier Airports. Second is the completion of the court order for the regional government to take back full legal possession of the Airport from Aeromur. The regional government has nonetheless had to budget some 500,000 euros for the maintenance,

security and surveillance for the facility until such a time that a new concessionaire is legally appointed. Third, Barnabas hopes to tender for a new concession holder for the Airport (Whilst AENA may be one of a number to operate the facility, it is by no means the case that they will also hold the concession - these are two separate issues. Barnabas conceded that of the 5 companies linked to Corvera Airport AENA offers a â&#x20AC;&#x153;solvencyâ&#x20AC;? because it is a major operator of existing airports nationwide, with a â&#x20AC;&#x153;more than provenâ&#x20AC;? track record and experience, but has stressed that all companies that have shown interest are â&#x20AC;&#x153;solventâ&#x20AC;?. All are â&#x20AC;&#x153;recognised, serious and solvents airport managers,â&#x20AC;? stressed Barnabas, who has insisted that it is a public contest and win â&#x20AC;&#x153;one who submits the best offer, call and call as long as it complies with the guarantees the Community will demand â&#x20AC;&#x153;.

SAMARITANS IN SPAIN RECRUITMENT IN MAZARRĂ&#x201C;N In 2016 we aim to expand our teams of listeners around Spain. If you are resident in the MazarrĂłn ĂĄrea and would like to hear how you can join us as a Listener or spare a few hours a week to help with fundraising / other events held in the area please contact our General Manager stephenrbaker@outlook.com to register interest in attending an initial group meeting locally. www.samaritansinspain.com Also on Facebook and Twitter.

(Volunteer positions are unpaid but certain expenses can be claimed)

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l a m po s o C HEALTH CL IN IC

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NURSE DOCTOR Virginia Moreno Dr. Diana Navas Gonzalez Carrillo. Bachelor of Medicine and Diploma in nursing Surgery at the in the faculty of University of Murcia Murcia. Specialist Official Master in in General Emergency, Critical and Digestive and Outpatient Surgery. Masters Nursing in Professional 5 years Hospital Development. experience in PhD course at A+E, and Primary the University Healthcare nursing. of Murcia. Extra Training Hospital of Amsterdam (Free University Amsterdam). Surgeon at National Health Hospital Lorenzo Guirao.

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The Camposol Health Clinic , located at the Business Centre, Sector A has launched a new membership scheme, under which any person, can join as a Camposol Health Clinic member. Membership status provides magnificent advantages to those patients who wish to utilise the benefits of our private clinic. For a small monthly fee members will receive: UNLIMITED ACCESS TO GP SERVICES The member may refer to Camposol Health Clinic GP for consultation as often as the associated patient may require, without any extra charge, just by making an appointment. UNLIMITED ACCESS TO NURSE SERVICES The member may refer to Camposol Health Clinic nurse for consultation as often as the associated patient may require, without any additional charge, just by making an appointment. Members will recieve nursing treatment with 50% discount. Access to PHYSIOTHERAPY Services Members may access Physiotherapy treatment at Camposol Health Clinic under preferential discounts and rates. FREE ACCESS SERVICES : PHYSIOTHERAPY CONSULTATION GP PRIMARY HEALTH CARE... INCLUDED NURSE CONSULTATION... INCLUDED Membership services : VACCINATION€ 3,00 INJECTIONS € 3,00 SIMPLE TREATMENT ( Blood Pressure and Glucose ) € 6,00 Dressings , EARWAX PLUGS , SUTURES € 8,00 ECG € 10,00 PHYSIOTHERAPY € 20,00 KINESIOTAPE € 3,00 DRY NEEDLING € 3,00 FUNCTIONAL BANDAGE € 5,00 BLOOD TEST as per type.

Camposol Health Clinic, has two types of Membership fees : INDIVIDUALS :Only € 15 per month COUPLES: Only € 25 per month COUPLES WITH CHILDREN: Only 20 per month + 5€ for each child

To sign up for the membership scheme, simply bring a copy of your N.I.E (or passport for non residents) and your bank details to the Camposol Business Centre on Sector A.

For more detailed information please call 968 103 008 or directly at the reception of the Business Centre, Sector A. 2016

Costa Cálida’s AWARD WINNING free magazine

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F R T S A FEA TURES FEATU RES FE ATURE S FEA TURES FEATU RES FE ATURE S FEA TURES FEATU RES FE ATURE FEA TURES FEATU RES FE FEA TURES FEATU FEA TURES FEA

DO I NEED TO INSURE MY VEHICLE EVEN IF IT’S OFF THE ROAD? Some insurance policies like medical cover are not compulsory, others such as fire protection for your property, are. Your vehicle however, must be insured at all times, even if it’s kept off the road in a garage. The minimum legal compulsory insurance is Civil Liability to cover any damage to or claims from a third party, resulting from your vehicle. The existing legislation (Royal Decree 8/2004) states that any car that is kept in Spain must be insured. Trailers and other special types of vehicles that weigh less than 750 kg and cannot be driven on Spanish roads are not required to have insurance. This also means that they cannot be parked on roads or kept on private land. If you own a vehicle that’s not insured you could face a fixed penalty from €601 up to €3,005, and your vehicle may be seized and immobilised. WHY DO I NEED TO INSURE MY CAR IF ITS KEPT IN A PRIVATE GARAGE

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The owner of a vehicle has a civil responsibility towards their neighbour and their property. Civil responsibility extends beyond car accidents on Spanish roads. If a vehicle, for example, kept in a communal garage, has a fire due to a short circuit, the owner will be responsible for any resulting damages to third parties. The owner will also be liable for a fixed penalty fine, the amount will depend on the gravity of the situation, the length of time the vehicle has been without insurance, and if this is a repeat offense. IN WHAT CIRCUMSTANCES IS INSURANCE NOT COMPULSORY?

HOW CAN I AVOID ANY FIXED PENALTY FINES The best option is to ensure you have adequate insurance protection for your vehicle at all times. Once your vehicle complies with Spanish regulations, you can then decide what the future use of your vehicle will be, and whether or not to keep it in circulation or take it out. If you require an insurance policy for your vehicle, you can contact Línea Directa on 902 123 XXX. They can supply you with a fast and efficient quote for either third party or fully comprehensive insurance. We hope the information provided in this article is of interest.

If your vehicle has officially been If you would like to contact Línea temporarily or permanently taken Directa please call 902 123 161 out of circulation, for example it has been scrapped, then no insurance More information on Línea Directa is required. If you own a vehicle online at www.lineadirecta.com that is not being used and you wish to avoid paying for insurance, then you can apply to have it temporarily taken out of circulation. However, to do this the vehicle needs to have passed its MOT. If the MOT has Car Rentals &Sales — Van Rental now available ! expired, then it Also available from Alicante, Murcia & Valencia Airports must be taken Opening Hours again and passed, Mon-Fri 09:30 — 14:15 and 17:00 — 19:30, before applying. Sat 09:30 — 14:15

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2016

La V da Bistro & Bar

Sheryl and Andrea Welcome you to La Vida Come dine in our fly screened beer garden Steak night Every Wednesday

We are Also exhibiting paintings by “John Luke” which is a must see.

Farmer Hacks off hand Castellón’s provincial court sentenced the man to four years in prison as well as a fine of €3,000, on top of the €335,000 in insurance money that he will be forced to repay. According to the court sentence announced on Wednesday, the farmer was having financial troubles in 2007, struggling to pay off his mortgage so he came up with an elaborate plan to cash in on insurance policies. In the early hours of December 10th of that year, he took a sharp blade and hacked off his own right hand, entirely with the intent “to collect the insurance” the court wrote, adding that it was unclear whether he had had assistance in the amputation or had managed it alone. According to court papers, the man from the rural region of Castellón in eastern Spain then applied a tourniquet to stem the bleeding, got in his car and drove to a point where there was a curve in the road. He swerved off, landing the car “practically perpendicular” in an orange grove, and then carefully staged an accident by placing his severed hand in the footwell and torching the car with some petrol he had brought with him. The man, identified in the local newspaper Las Provincias as Miguel B.P., 42, of Nules, then called emergency services and when police and firefighters arrived at the scene was found calmly “smoking a cigar”. The farmer went to eight different insurance companies to collect compensation. An insurance salesman in Germany was found guilty in 2014 of insurance fraud after he sawed off his own finger and thumb to collect what would have been €1.4 million in payouts.

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2016

Ex Pat Solutions Most of the time, life in Spain is idyllic. Great weather, beautiful beaches, bbq´s and relaxing by the pool. But sometimes, life here is not all sunshine and sangria. When things go wrong living in a country where you are not familiar with the language nor, the often bureaucratic procedures can not only be daunting, but also a pain. Sorting out paperwork at the town hall, making appointments over the phone, or calling the electric company to sort out an incorrect bill, can all be sources of stress and frustration. If the above sounds familiar to you, then don’t worry. Xpat Solutions are here to help. They are on hand to help with all aspects of Ex-Pat life. They

can help you by translating over the phone when you get stuck at the post office, or town hall, or explain a bill or letter that you don’t understand. Need a good Lawyer or plumber? Would you like a party organised? Would you like Spanish lessons? Xpat Solutions are your one stop shop to take the stress and inconvenience out of your life. For more information on how XPat Solutions scan make your life stress free, call Rodrigo on 669 620 481 or email: expatdesk@ outlook.es

nine months through the use of fake visas in their legitimate passports, it said. The immigrants were then supplied with fake passports, sent from Greece, France and Britain, for the final step to reach Britain.

Spanish police break up ring smuggling Iranians to Spain and UK

Spanish police have broken up a smuggling ring dedicated to bringing Iranians to Spain and then Britain for between 10,000 euros and 15,000 euros per person, the Interior Ministry has said.

In collaboration with Britain’s Risk and Liaison Overseas network (Ralon), Spanish police arrested six members of the organisation in Madrid and Fuengirola in the province of Malaga in southern Spain, the ministry said. The group had illegally helped 50 Iranians to travel to Spain over the last

The police confiscated EU100,000 in cash, hidden in secret compartments in suitcases, 47 falsified passports, documents related to the network and high-end vehicles.

Iran plans investment in Spanish oil refinery

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2016

RESTAURANTE VILLAMARES LA AZOHIA When walking down the avda Central of La Azohia, one is often distracted from the world around as they become fully immersed in the intense beauty of the Mediterranean sea and dramatic mountain scape that rushes down to meet it. But next time you are take a moment to look around and you will find the gem of La Azohia right before you eyes! This stunning, contemporary styled restaurant sits in one of the most enviable spots overlooking the beach. The good news that they would like to share with readers of The Journal, is that after such a successful summer they have decided to stay open throught the winter months also. This is great news for everybody, especially if during the summer you never found the time visit. Restaurant Villamares is open ALL DAY- 7 DAYS A WEEK! It is an ideal place to stop for some refreshments, drink, tapas, or one of the most exquisite Menu Del Dia´s that the area has to offer. With fresh fish daily and a wide and varied menu, there is something for everyone to enjoy. The kitchen is open until 8pm Monday to Friday and stays open until late on the weekends. There are large outdoor spaces to relax in and marquee´s with patio heaters to keep you cosy on those chilly evenings. Why not come down early evening and soak up the atmosphere? Select something to drink from the extensive cocktail and champagne list and listen to some music while enjoying the amazing view and watching the sun set.You can use the free wifi to send your friends photos of you enjoying the best food, drink and scenery for miles around! There is bike parking and also the restaurant is delighted to be dog friendly making this the ideal place to stop and recharge after a bike ride or a ramble in the surrounding trails with the dog. If you are driving then you needn’t worry as there is ample parking, and also special reserved disabled parking in the immediate vicinity. With friendly staff, great food, great atmosphere, and a stunning location Restaurant Villamares, really does have everything to ensure that you have a great time with your family and friends.

Tony Smith The English Funeral Director

In Loving Memory of Geoff Board 18th May 1939 ~ 19th November 2015

In Loving Memory of David Christopher Robinson 11th January 1941 ~ 25th November 2015

“Jean and her family would like to express their sincere thanks to all the many friends for their care, support and kind messages of condolence received during this very difficult time. Special thanks to those who gave so generously in Geoff’s memory to the wonderful work of MABS.”

June, Caron and the family would like to express their sincere thanks to all the many friends and neighbours for all the love and support shown during this difficult time. Special thanks to everyone who attended the funeral service

In Loving Memory of Samuel Joseph McCauley 11th February 1927 ~ 2nd December 2015

In Loving Memory of Mary Lilian Hornsby 13th May 1923 ~ 5th January 2016

Sheila would like to thank all the friends and neighbours for their kind expressions of sympathy, letters and cards of condolence. Special thanks to everyone who attended the funeral service and gave in Sam’s memory

The family of the late Mary Hornsby would like to express their sincere thanks to all the friends and neighbours for their kind words of comfort and support. Special thanks to Rev Maureen Kent and everyone who attended the funeral service, it was lovely to see so many people there.

www.EnglishFuneralDirector.com Visit Our New Online Peace Garden

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The English Funeral Service is owned and run by Tony Smith. Tony says "I am the only qualified English Funeral Director working in the Costa Calida & Costa Blanca regions. My company provides a complete 24hr English Funeral Service to the expatriate community. I am first and foremost a professional, fully qualified Funeral Director with over 27 years experience. I also offer many different ways of paying for the funeral; Spanish Funeral Insurance (see below); Golden Leaves; Register with The English Funeral Director, or simply pay at the time of the funeral. English: Tony Smith 650 631 719 Spanish: Mariano Canovas Montiel 649 821 384

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Spain Book Review

century of Spanish history, from the tail end of the nineteenth century up through the Spanish Civil War and World War II.

“I was almost born Happy.” So begins The Spanish Bow and the remarkable history of Feliu Delargo, who just misses being “Feliz” by a misunderstanding at his birth, which he barely survives. The accidental bequest of a cello bow from his dead father sets Feliu on the course of becoming a musician, unlikely given his beginnings in a dusty village in Catalonia. When he is compelled to flee to anarchist Barcelona, his education in music, life, and politics begins. But it isn’t until he arrives at the court of the embattled monarchy in Madrid that passion enters the composition with Aviva, a virtuoso violinist with a haunted past. As Feliu embarks on affairs, friendships, and rivalries, forces propelling the world toward a catastrophic crescendo sweep Feliu along in their wake.The Spanish Bow is a haunting fugue of music, politics, and passion set against half a

When a book is labelled ‘ambitious’, it mean two things – either a new author has blown away the competition, or someone has over-reached and written a lemon. The Spanish Bow is definitely the former. This book may be a work of fiction, but the real life characters, sometimes obvious, sometimes less so, show Spain’s history in a brave way. Knowing this, I felt certain to enjoy this book. The book starts off with the birth of the main character, Feliu Delargo, mistakenly labelled stillborn and with a misspelled surname. From his start in poor country Catalonia, he grows up, through time in Barcelona and Madrid, to become a European star as a cellist. It is easy to see real-life cellist, Pablo Casals, in the main character, along with Issac Albeniz, who is fictionalised as piano player Justo Al-Cerraz. Some characters are real-real, such as King Alfonso and his Queen Ena. There is also a young man named Paquito, a lowly ranked young military man from Galicia, subject to bullies. We all know where that is going. There is no mistaking it; the author has researched the 20th century in Spain in much detail, in order to show a fictional life within the real fate of Spain (where have I seen that before? Oh wait – me lol).

by Caroline Angus Baker

Spain is a great mess through its first half of the 20th century (and the rest!). Delargo become famous, and finds that is art can make changes, can have a political voice. Delargo and Al-Cerrez meet Aviva, a Jewish violinist, who is in need of rescue as fascism folds over Europe. The life of Spaniards swallowed by fascism and dictators, as well as the over-reaching pain of fascism through Europe is examined, all through the eyes of fictional characters. Both music and art history are explored, as well as those rich patrons to whom Delargo plays. How Madrid and Barcelona are considered ‘backward’, how politics stifles so much, and how, in the end, silence is the winner when fascism takes hold, is the focus. The Spanish Bow is not some happy ending book – how could it be? Delargo only receives praise posthumously. At least, in the epilogue, you can see how Spain managed to pull itself out of fascism. All this in a book that far easier to read than it sounds. Bravo. Caroline Angus Baker is a Kiwi author, historian, and Ecology student. Spanish Civil War nerd, bullfighting bystander and Valencia aficionado. Professional dreamer, book reviewer, and byronic heroine fan. Spanish history and architecture lover.

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Pilates Padel (needs to be booked in advance for Power CRX training, lessons and matches) Abdominals 15 mins sessions in the Krav Maga - a form of Martial Combat fitness room at 19.00, 20.00 & 21.00 Intense training Most “classes” take place Mondays Zumba - which now offers 2 extra class through to Thursdays. times on the present timetable - Tuesdays & Thursdays at 9.30am Jumping - Aerobics on small trampolines TRX Coreo Cyclo/ Spinning - Mondays & Wednesdays (7-8pm with Pilar Garcia Instructor, offering Spanish Courses both upper & lower body exercises) 2 Hours per week Ciclo Indoor/ Cursos de Ingles Mensuales FOR / PARA Spinning - Tuesdays 2 Horas/Semana Beginners & Thursdays (with Learn and practice Spanish in small Instructor) Principiantes groups: 40€ per month (mínimum group 4 people) Intermediate Aprende Ingles en grupos pequenos Intermedio 40€ al mes (minimo groupo 4 personas) Advanced Based on on Sector A CAMPOSOL Avanzado BUISNESS CENTRE & CAFÉ BAR BUENA VISTA, Conversation Playa del Alamillo, Conversación Puerto de Mazarrón

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www.thejournalspain.es

2016

CATS TO LOVE OR HATE THEM? On Camposol sector A we have many stray, feral or street cats, choose your own description! What many of the residents do not appreciate is their place within our lives here in Spain. I hear people saying “do not feed them, they are a pest”, other people love cats and would not harm one or wish harm upon them. I have been living on sector A for over 15 years and have experienced life here in all its forms be that human, cats or dogs. I will try to paint you a word picture of how the cats fit in and whether you love or hate them you might gain an appreciation of why they are important providing they are unable to produce huge volumes of kittens and providing they are healthy. Ten years ago my dog was poisoned when someone left a lamb chop bone laced with rat poison on a pavement close to a rubbish bin opposite the sector A commercials. I spotted him grabbing the bone and wrestled it from him but even those ten seconds or so in his mouth was enough to threaten his life. Thanks to our vet and over a nerve wracking weekend he was saved. The cause of this event was the many rats that ran around on many areas of sector A. You may not have seen rats here lately but that is either because they move around at night mostly or there aren’t that many around because of our cats. A healthy cat that is not overfed by humans will despatch rats at the slightest

provocation thankfully and mice are accorded the same treatment. The campo around here provides plenty of mice for the cats to eat. A diseased cat is a heart wrenching sight for most people, we need those cats caught and euthanised humanely by a qualified vet. Healthy cats are what we need but not too many of them and that can only come about through careful management of the cat population. Now, I don’t know about you but I don’t have time or the expertise to trap cats and deliver them to the vets to ensure we only have healthy neutered cats around. I do want the population controlled though, too many cats are a pain in the life of the average resident here. What I am glad to see is a group of dedicated people who do have the time, energy, commitment and expertise to control the problem on our behalf. They cannot achieve it alone though and they need our help, they are Camposol Kitty Kitty and their details are easily found in local magazines and their collection tins are dotted around in various places. We are prepared to spend money on plants, membrane and gravel and in my opinion all that is pretty pointless if we just become either a rat or cat colony, management is needed and it is needed now. It isn’t someone else’s problem or responsibility to deal with, it is for all of us to step forward so we can keep our home the way we want it. There will never be a time when there are no cats and even if you hate them you should be glad of that unless you love rabid rats. Please make donations of whatever you can afford, seek out their tins and if you have a bit of the volunteer spirit in you why not give a couple of hours a week to help at the established feeding stations for the healthy doctored cats. Here’s to a safe and happy life for 2016.

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Ex-Servicemen’s Association Mazarrón District (Founded 1 May 2006) EVENTS – 2016 Wednesday 10th February Restaurant Sienna Mazarron Town VALENTINE DINNER and DANCE With Entertainment by Live and Kicking 7.30pm for 8pm Sunday 6th March Trevi Restaurant Camposol B Mothering Sunday Lunch 1.30pm for 2pm Membership and enquiries, Ian 629818611 or esamd.espana@gmail. com

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Taking bookings already, Book now to save disappointment! (1st November 2015 to 1st April 2016) MONDAY, TUESDAY & THURSDAY DEALS; Book a double room for 49 , we will include taxes, breakfast and 2x steak evening meals. When booking please quote ''FREESTEAKMEAL'' (Either Beef or Tuna steak) (Not applicable to any other offers) QUAD BIKING DEAL; If you book 2 single quads, for 3 hours which includes 2x4 course MenĂş del DĂas - we will throw in a double en-suite room for 1 night, and 2x buffet continental breakfasts at no extra cost! (99euros p.p) If you would like to swap one of our fantastic MenĂş del DĂas (Lunchtime menu) for a phenominal MenĂş de la Noche (Evening menu) then there is a 5 supplement P.P (Not applicable to any other offers)

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over, with the International Flamenco Festival. It is at this time of the year that the very best Flamenco artists from around the world make their way â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;homeâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; to give a variety of concerts, workshops, master classes or simply impromptu performances in hidden away atmospheric bars.

The Jerez Flamenco Festival February 20th â&#x20AC;&#x201C; March 7th 2015 The â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;golden triangleâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; or the â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;Holy Trinityâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; of Flamenco music â&#x20AC;&#x201C; the heart and soul of this traditional style â&#x20AC;&#x201C; is said to be an area contained within the cities of CĂĄdiz and Jerez de la Frontera and the barrio of Triana in Seville. This is the home of flamenco.

page 28

Jerez itself â&#x20AC;&#x201C; with its large Gypsy quarter and Moorish castle â&#x20AC;&#x201C; is at the very heart of this unique art form, with its beguiling amalgam of cantes (songs), bailes (dances) and guitarra (guitar). You can discover flamenco at its best every day of the year in Jerez in the plentiful PeĂąas or clubs to be found dotted around the city as well as in the more commercialised venues for the touristorientated tablaos. At the beginning of March each year, though, the whole town allows itself to be completely taken

www.thejournalspain.es

Ostensibly, the central venue for the Jerez International Flamenco Festival is the impressive Villamarta Theatre and, indeed, this is where the main â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;headlineâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; shows will be found. However, there are other important sites â&#x20AC;&#x201C; the Plaza Romero Martinez, the Palacio de Villavicencio and the Bodega Los Apostoles, for example â&#x20AC;&#x201C; where significant concerts occur. But it is the bars of places such as those in the Santiago quarter where the authentic, raw flamenco will stand out. The Jerez Festival is equally as important because of its flamenco courses as for the quality of its public performances. Classes are available for everyone from beginners through

2016

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dancers and musicians in the whole of Andalucía, that Jerez prides itself so much. to experts in all of the various styles of singing and dancing. In recent years around 40% of all the available places have been taken after the first day of registration for these courses with students coming from more than 30 different countries.

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Additionally, there are also many excellent exhibitions, displays and similar cultural events organised throughout the city – notably at the Andalusian Flamenco Centre, in the

Palacio de Penmartín. There are many reasons for wanting to spend time in Jerez. It is a town that has a centre small enough to be able to comfortably see on foot, with some impressive architecture, some fascinating sherry bodegas offering enticing visitor tours and, of course, its incomparable equestrian heritage. It is, though, as the city that, since the beginning of the twentieth century, has produced the most – and the best – flamenco singers,

And, during those two weeks in February and March devoted to the International Flamenco Festival, the whole city echoes to the captivating clack of castanets; the intense emotions of the cantos and the spontaneity and audience participation of the jaleo – the handclapping, foot stamping and often discordant shouting that adds to that unique Flamenco atmosphere.

The friendliest Bar on Camposol! Situated on Urbinisation Camposol the Black Bull is the premier bar for drinks, food and entertainment! We serve a huge range of the finest beers, wines and spirits

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We have a mouth-watering food menu! From a light snack to a full meal, you will find something for everyone! We serve fish and chips every Friday & Monday and we are famous for our Sunday roasts!

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page 29

Technology all the other important details. These 2 benefits alone should be plenty for any business owner to realize that this step is very important so your business can attract local customers, but if not, there is more! If you are publishing content of any kind, for example a blog, a good idea would be to publish this on your Google plus page together with a small summary and a backlink every time you publish a post, or think up other information your clients might be interested in to publish regulary as a way to keep the Google plus business page active, updated and interstesting. Keeping your Google plus page updated with fresh content regularly is important to build up followers, the more followers you obtain, the more visible your content will be, most of your content will show up on the first page in Google search results when a user that is following you searches on google for any keyword that relates back to the content you published.

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by Ben Van Nimmen

8 F BO &O TQ E 4 HMJ FB QB TI L OJT I

If your business does not have a Google plus page yet, you are most likely missing out on a lot of local high quality visitors, setting Google plus for businesses up doesnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t take up to much time when you know what you are doing as there are various layers or verification involved. To verify your business or website requires to meet a few conditions, although most businesses will meet these conditions easily and thus obtain the possibility to benefit greatly of creating a verified Google plus business page.

The most direct benefits obtained of creating a Google plus page is having your business placed on Google Maps with information such as opening times, address, phone numbers, photos and more. Another great benefit is getting placed at the top and on the side of Google search results for keywords that include the location, your business name or what it is you do. On mobile this looks even better as your business advert will fill up the entire screen alongside an image of your logo including

GoogleÂ´s Self Driving Car Still Needs the Human Touch Googleâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s self-driving cars have been trundling around the roads of Mountain View, California, pretty safely for well over a year, but they still need a human ready to take over at a momentâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s notice. The California Department of

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2016

circumstances where such a failure occurs, the test driver receives a warning from the car and takes manual control. Each incident is recorded and later replayed in a simulator to work out what went wrong. In 13 of the recorded incidents would Google’s bubble cars have crashed without human intervention, the simulator showed.

Motor Vehicles released a report showing that Google’s cars would have hit an object on at least 13 occasions had their human

drivers not stepped in. Of the 341 times humans had to take over the cars in testing that took place in California in the 14 months leading up to November 2015, 272 of those times it was due to a failure in the autonomous technology installed in the pod-like vehicles, the report shows. These failures mostly consisted of software or perception errors. In all

2016

Self-driving cars are a priority for Google, which eventually hopes to create a business providing software to traditional car manufacturers. One of the main incentives for developing autonomous vehicles is to make roads safer by eliminating the possibility for crashes caused by human error. With companies including Toyota, Nissan and Google hoping to get self-driving cars on the roads within the next five years, the safety records of test vehicles are under intense scrutiny. If the aim is to create cars that can be driven with minimal human intervention, Google’s track record may offer some encouragement. Two of Google’s near misses involved dodging traffic cones, and three saw test drivers take over to save the car from being hit by another car. When Google engineers later ran these scenarios through their simulator they found that had the human drivers not intervened, the selfdriving cars would have been hit by the other vehicle. Google seems to be having more success than automaker Nissan, which too has been using California roads to test its self-driving cars. Its own report shows drivers had to take control of vehicles on 106 occasions, despite only driving 1,485 miles.

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An Interview with Jesus Miguel Martínez Santana, Marketing Director of Portal Wimax

For the last 11 years Camposol´s largest Wimax provider “Portal Wimax” have been working hard to bring fast and low cost internet to residents in the Mazarrón area. We sit down with Marketing Director Jesus Miguel Martiínez Santana to find out how things are coming along, and what plans he has for the future. Editor: Hi Jesus, it’s a pleasure to meet you. Firstly, can you tell us a bit about Portal Wimax? Jesus: Hi, you too. Okay, well Portal Wimax is based in Murcia and we have been established for 11 years. Currently, we supply Internet all over Murcia, and our area is expanding all the time. Right now, we have just completed the Antenna installations that link the geographical coverage areas for all of Camposol, Puerto de Mazarrón, Mazarrón beaches, Mazarrón Town, Totana and Alhama de Murcia, so we are excited. Most importantly we now have full coverage of Camposol, including D Sector. E: That sounds exciting, can you tell us about your special offer for readers of The Journal? J:Of course, for your readers we have taken 10€ a month of the price of our 8Mb connection and it is now only 19.90 euros a month. We offer a great price on speed that is sufficient for any

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home. Because at this time we don’t offer crazy speed´s like other Wimax Providers, we believe that can provide more consistent speed and better quality of connection than other companies. In that sense, I would like to mention that we have temporary internet service, for customers who are not year-round at home and thus only pay when they use our service. We also offer fixed telephone service and mobile.

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E: You mention “Other Wimax providers” Is there more than one Wimax provider? J: I am glad that you mentioned this, as it is a very important point that can confuse some people. Wimax is the name of the protocol used to deliver the internet. This is why companies use the word in their name. We are Portal

2016

F R T S A FEA TURES FEATU RES FE ATURE S FEA TURES FEATU RES FE ATURE S FEA TURES FEATU RES FE ATURE FEA TURES FEATU RES FE FEA TURES FEATU S simple. Call our FEA TUREJ:It’s FEA office or email us, you

can find the details on the advert opposite. They will discuss all the options and costs with you, arrange a speed demonstration if required, and co-ordinate the installation as soon as possible. E: Arrange a speed demonstration? Can you explain what that is?

J:We work with a number of local businesses, and a proud to provide a high speed connection at Camposol Business Centre. If a customer wants to check the speed before they arrange the installation, our agent there will be happy to accommodate them and answer any questions. E: Jesus, Thank you for your time today we know that you are a busy man and we appreciate it. Do you have anything else that you would like to say to our readers? J: I just want to say that we are delighted to be working in this area and want to thank our loyal customers. We look forward to providing the best speeds, the best service and the best prices to all our customers for many years to come. E: From everyone at The Journal, we wish you the best of luck. J: Thank you.

Wimax, not to be confused with other companies. E: You tell us that your office is based in Murcia, is that not a long way for residents of Camposol to travel if they have a problem with their connection? J: (Laughs) No, we provide support via telephone and email. All of our staff are fluent in English so we can communicate easily. Normally our office based

2016

technicians can look on the computer and see if there is a problem with your antenna. Nine times out of 10 we can find a solution this way, the other time we send the engineer to your house, in the same day in a few hours or if the customer is not at home, we take a meeting with him when he stay in. E: So how do our readers sign up for the Portal Wimax Service?

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Dawn Llewellyn-Price Welcome to February. Especially if you undertook ‘Dry January.’ Mine didn’t start until the 2nd as family traditions involve a New Year’s Day feast, with wine and Cava to toast 2016 , then a further few days finishing off the Christmas cake, still fermenting in vintage Martell and whisky, so although nothing was uncorked and poured thereafter, the dehydrating demon remained in my DNA days later.

it’s just off the once notorious Wind Street, where ‘mother’s ruin’- soaked ‘ladies’ plied their trade a couple of centuries ago, may be just coincidence. Oh the times I’ve tried to drink it, especially for the mosquito banishing properties of the mix, and the low calorie content of the juniper steeped spirit, it does not suite my palate, resulting in facial Gurning of exceptionally high standard. There’s just something horrible about the taste which repulses me, as even the Bombay Sapphire didn’t hit the spot. I would so LOVE to like it. However, sitting socialising when every mouthful leaves a foul, alien taste at the back of my mouth just wouldn’t work.

Wonder if the Spanish do that? Party Poop, that is.

The Spanish, of course, adore it. Spain’s been leading the way in the innovative re invention of the G&T with Gin clubs and new balloon glasses. Specialist tonics are preferred, with garnishes carefully selected to match each gin’s own characteristics. As well as lemon and lime, bartenders use whole spices, fresh herbs, fruit and veg, attempting a balance of flavours akin to Carmen Miranda’s hat.

If Gin were the only tipple available I’d be teetotal. Apparently it’s on the rise, making a huge comeback amongst younger drinkers, and even my home city of Swansea has a new Hogarth’s gin bar (named after the Gin Lane painting by the famous artist.) The fact

Gin is quintessentially English, and was even issued to naval officers as a daily ration while the ratings had common old rum. In New York, it was once popular as a hangover cure, served with tomato juice. Tonic is supposedly good for cramp, as trialled

Then the UK chief medical officer stepped in and deemed all alcohol a menace. Bad, bad, bad. Even red wine, my staple.

ATime

once in a Bolnuevo bar where the weird chair edges cut off leg circulation after a mere ten minutes. President Roosevelt once complained (at Yalta) that there were no lemons to make twists for his Martinis. Stalin had a tree flown in the next day. Rarely a Murcian problem, luckily. Sailor Sir Francis Chichester navigated around the world on Pink Gin, until it ran out. Doctors once wore face masks filled with the juniper berries used to make the spirit, to mask odours they believed spread the plague, and my grandmother swore by taking juniper pills for stomach upsets and various other conditions, which turn your urine purple. Sounds a somewhat healthy option. ‘Little nips of whisky, little drops of gin, Make a lady wonder where on earth she’s bin’ (Anon)

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2016

Suduko Puzzles Answers in next month’s magazine

Riddles

Flamenco Crossword

Q: A dad and his son were riding their bikes and crashed. Two ambulances came and took them to different hospitals. The man’s son was in the operating room and the doctor said, “I can’t operate on you. You’re my son.” How is that possible? A: The doctor is his mother! Q: What goes up when rain comes down? A: An umbrella! Q: What is the longest word in the dictionary? A: Smiles, because there is a mile between each ‘s’ Q: If I drink, I die. If i eat, I am fine. What am I? A: A fire! Q: Throw away the outside and cook the inside, then eat the outside and throw away the inside. What is it? A: Corn on the cob, because you throw away the husk, cook and eat the kernels, and throw away the cob.

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2016

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Please check with the venue before setting out as circumstances may change

What’s going on... What´s On Guide – February 2016

Menu Del Dia & Fish & Chips – Bar Med , El Alamillo Puerto de Mazarron

Menu del Dia Bar Med, El Alamillo, Puerto de Mazarron 9 Euro pp

Fish & Chip s- La Vida, El Pareton, Blackbull Camposol B, Cat´s Bar, Camposol A, Bar Med El Alamillo, Puerto de Mazarron, The Clubhouse, Camposol Golf

Quiz - The Clubhouse, Camposol Club de Golf 8.15pm

Karaoke with Bernie Mac – Tel´s Bar , Camposol Sector A

Mazarron Bay Bridge Club – Hotel Playa Grande, Puerto de Mazarron 9.30am

Stevie T´s Costa Calida Radio Morning Quiz “On The Road” – Bar Med, El Alamillo Puerto de Mazarron

Every Monday

Ladies´ Chatterbox Sew & Sew – Cultural Centre Camposol 2.30pm Entertainment Quiz – Tels Bar Camposol A 8.30pm Fish & Chip Night – The Black Bull, Camposol B Every Tuesday Steak Night, The Clubhouse, Camposol Golf General Knowledge Quiz – Tels Bar Sector A 8.30pm Every Wednesday Steak Night – La Vida, El Pareton Fish and Chip Night – Trevi Bar, Camposol B 5-7pm Quiz Night With Sue – Trevi Bar, Camposol B, 8.30pm Quiz Night with Eddie B – Cat´s Bar, Camposol A Every Thursday Fat Club 11-12pm – Cat´s Bar Camposol Sector A Jam Night & 3 Course Menu De La Noche 12.50pp – The Clubhouse, Camposol Golf Darts League – Alley Palais , Camposol B Darts and Dominoes Night – Trevi Bar. Karaoke with Bernie Mac – Cat´s Bar Camposol Sector A 9pm Every Friday Dance Fitness with Mark & Shannon - Bar Med, El Alamillo, Puerto de Mazarron 10am Miles A Weigh Slimming Club * Based on Slimming World, Bar Med, Puerto de Mazarron 11am Bridge Club – Trevi Bar Camposol B 9.30am

2016

Every Saturday Menu del Dia - Bar Med, , El Alamillo, Puerto de Mazarron 9 Euro pp Dine & Dance Music Nights – Bar Med, El Alamillo, Puerto de Mazarron (See Gig Guide)

Saturday 13th February Bar Med, El Puerto de Mazarron Valentines Weekend Double Bill Special 3 Course Menu Del Dia 10 Euro pp plus Afternoon Delight with Soul Man Richie Alexander 1.30 – 4pm Romantic 4 Course Menu De La Noche 15 Euro pp – With Entertainment from GNT 7.30pm The Clubhouse, Camposol Club de Golf Byron G Man Sax & Special 3 Course Menu De La Noche 20 Euro pp Restaurante La Proa, El Alamillo, Puerto de Mazarron Live Music Los Balcones – 3 Course Valentines Dinner & Dance, 50 Euro per couple Saturday 20th February

Live Music & 3 Course Menu De La Noche at The Clubhouse, Camposol Club de Golf (See Gig Guide)

Bar Med El Alamillo, Puerto de Mazarron Dine & Dance with Live Band Jokers Inc

Live Music, Restaurante La Proa, El Alamillo, Puerto de Mazarron

4 Course Menu De La Noche 12.50 pp

Steak Night, La Vida, El Pareton From 9.95 pp inc glass of wine.

Restaurante La Proa, El Alamillo, Puerto de Mazarron Live Entertainment

Every Sunday Lunchtime Carvery, The Clubhouse, Camposol Club de Golf & Hotel La Mariposa, Gebas

The Clubhouse, Camposol Golf Martin Ross & 3 Course Menu de la Noche 15 Euro pp Saturday 27th February

Traditional Sunday Lunches – Bar Med, El Alamillo, Puerto de Mazarrón, La Vida, El Pareton, The Black Bull, Cat´s Bar, Tel´s Bar, Liz´s Café, Steak Out - Camposol

Bar Med, El Alamillo, Puerto de Mazarron Dine & Dance With Byron G Man Sax. 4 Course Menu de la Noche 12.50pp

Fun Quiz – Cat´s Bar Camposol A 9pm

The Clubhouse, Camposol Golf J J Soulman & 3 Course Menu de la Noche 15 Euro pp

Bernie Mac´s Karaoke, The Clubhouse Camposol Golf 8.30pm Gig Guide Saturday 6th February Bar Med El Alamillo, Puerto de Mazarron Dine & Dance With The Back Yard Session (Group with Girl Singer) 4 Course Menu De La Noche 12.50 pp The Clubhouse, Camposol Golf Andy Jones & 3 Course Menu De La Noche 15 euro pp Restaurante La Proa, El Alamillo, Puerto de Mazarron Live Music Monday 8th February The Clubhouse, Camposol Golf Chinese New Year Celebration Lunch 1-3pm 9.50 euro pp

Restaurante La Proa Live Entertainment Saturday 5th March Bar Med, El Alamillo, Puerto de Mazarron Dine & Dance With The Streeters. 4 Course Menu de la Noche 12.50pp The Clubhouse, Camposol Golf Woody & 3 Course Menu De La Noche 15 Euro pp Restaurante La Proa, El Alamillo, Puerto de Mazarron Live Music Sunday 6th March Bar Med, El Alamillo, Puerto de Mazarron Mother´s Day Special Traditional Sunday Lunch with Music from Michelle & Friends

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&Gardens

Homes

Camposol ‘C’ Greenfingers Gardening and Social Group

This month we are happy to announce the 4th Anniversary of our Maintenance Scheme! I’m sure everyone will agree that Green Fingers have made a huge difference to the streets of Lower ‘C’: newly planted areas of established trees and shrubs, roads and pavements regularly sprayed and swept, tarmac and block paving repairs, gravelled verges, dustbins off roads…it’s lovely to walk around our pretty area which is no longer overgrown, though some of the work has been back breaking! Thanks to all our loyal Members, and if you’d like to join our scheme paying Euros15 per quarter, please get in touch? We’d also like to continue to keep ‘C’ tidy so we ask, if you have a pet, please clear up after it and keep our area a pleasant place to stroll around, thanks. Our Maintenance Team and Volunteers took a well-earned break over the Christmas and New Year period but now our hard work continues into 2016: A warm welcome must go to new volunteers Con and Tom, who have kindly joined us on these chilly mornings; This month we have been weeding and spraying the upper part of the dual carriageway, spreading 24 tons of gravel around the roundabout above the old Sensol Villas office, planting 12 new palms and watering all the trees and plants. All the dried mud along the main road by the golf club fence, as far as the rambla bridge has also now been cleared and swept. If our workers are in your area, please offer your support: spare cash in buckets, even hot drinks and biccies are appreciated! We’re always looking for volunteers – even if you’re not resident and just holidaying here, you’re most welcome - We offer bacon/sausage sarnies every Wednesday as incentive! Please contact John, our Chairman, on 634 325 427. If you’re unable to offer physical work but can donate raffle prizes or plants, we’d love to hear from you. No offer is too small.

another Quiz Night and Beetle Drive on Friday 26th February, 7.30pm at the Golf Club. A few tickets are still available, 5 Euros each, from your Poligono reps or our bucket collection points. Please check chalkboards, Facebook and website for any more information or visit our website; http://www. greenfingersgardenandsocialgroup.com/ to see some of the photos of our work!

D Community Group Newsletter January 2016 Over the past year 2015 our teams of volunteers and fund raisers have been busy around our sector working for the benefit of residents and holiday makers. We are fortunate to have people who give their time and effort and do their best to make a difference for us all. Our Pothole team have done a magnificent job on the roads filling in these nasty holes and levelling tarmac around manhole covers that protrude from the surface which has caused damage to vehicles. The team have also relayed curbing and many other jobs on the road system. This service that is provided for the community is still on going into 2016 with many jobs scheduled around our sector.

We also have a weed killing team working together with the gardening team which is helpful when scheduling future projects around the community. We also have a team who maintain the community vehicle and trailer for the residents and the teams working in the field, as well as a team that store and maintain the vast equipment. Without this service many projects on D sector could not be done in the community. As a community group we also have an Entertainment team who have done sterling work casting their net far afield out of the community to reach other sectors and beyond Camposol. We have had Street Parties, Quiz night and fund raiser for F.A.S.T, coach trips to the 43 Distillery, Spanish party and Christmas party, all of which were well supported and successful. Dates for parties and venues for 2016 are in the pipeline so watch this space. Our fund raising team (Bucketeers), who stand out on Friday mornings, are doing a fantastic job for the community. Throughout the summer the team took the heat on the chin and did not falter whilst collecting much needed funds, and on some occasions in fancy dress. Signs have been produced to be placed around the sector, particularly community gardens for the very few dog walkers to clean up after their dog and signs to stop fly tipping in our area.

2015 was a land mark for the Gardening The old notice board has given up the team that went above and beyond what ghost and a new Notice Board for the was asked of them. Many community sector has been erected on the same site gardens had to be rebuilt, replanted as across from the Jubilee garden as you well refurbish many areas with 150 leave the sector, metric tons of gravel, all of which was devastated from the 2014 flooding. Residents kindly donated many plants which gave the team the opportunity to plant Your first port of call when undertaking any aspect of new gardens, as home improvements. well as maintaining We are specialists in all types of general building workexisting gardens From major construction projects to fitted bathrooms, and removing fly kitchens and conservatories, give us a call for a free, no tipping rubbish to obligation quote. the Ecoparque. By popular demand, we have arranged All our team are fully qualified professionals with over 20 years construction experience in Spain. ALL ELECTRICAL WORK We understand that spending money improving your UNDERTAKEN home is an important decision. Thats why we pride ourselves on being honest, reliable, and getting the job SURGE PROTECTION AND done right, first time, at a fair price. CARD METERS FOR RENTAL For more details visit our website: PROPERTIES www.cmconstructions.es Or come and visit our office on NO CALL OUT CHARGE ON CAMPOSOL A Sector, next to the ferriteria. Or call us: Mark: 659 159 948 - Colin: 676 306 718 FREE ADVICE AND QUOTATIONS CM CONSTRUCTIONS LEGAL & REGISTERED

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New notice board

Our group are forward looking, trying to improve our little piece of Spain for the residents, house owners and holiday makers, but we cannot move forward without the generosity and support from the people who donate much needed funds, for which we are most grateful and we hope to have your support for 2016. For more information please visit the ‘D’ Community website http:// sectordcommunity.yuku.com The D group committee wish to say a BIG THANK YOU to our volunteers and contributors. Let us all look to the future and make a difference in our community. Happy New Year to you all Ken D’Angelo Chair D Community Group dchair1@outlook.com

Processionary caterpillars in Spain If you live in Spain or visit during the spring time, you might have heard people talking about the processionary caterpillar. This creature is often mentioned in forums by dog owners who have seen them out on their walks and are warning others of the danger. It’s a real threat too. We don’t usually associate caterpillars with the potential to kill, but these creatures have caused the death of many dogs and other animals and have made their presence felt amongst their adult owners too. What are they? The pine processionary moth flies around May to July and only lives for about one day during which time it must mate and lay its eggs in the foliage of a pine tree. A single female can lay up to 300 tiny eggs and it takes around a month for them to hatch. Once they have hatched, the minute caterpillars have five growth stages called ‘instars’. During their third moult or instar they build the white cottonwool like nest and continue to feed on the pine leaves until the fifth instar. This usually happens any time from February to April. At this point, the caterpillars (procesionaria del pino) make their way to the ground in a long chain searching for the next place in their life cycle. This behaviour gives them the name of the

Processionary caterpillars in their nest

‘processionary caterpillar’. You can recognise them by their distinctive orange-brown colour and blue bands. Eventually they will disperse to burrow just below the ground where they will pupate. Before this happens they can be a danger to humans and other mammals. It is the hairs of the caterpillars that can cause problems. If they are touched or poked they cause a nasty rash and give off dust that can cause respiratory problems. They are particularly toxic for children and animals. If the caterpillar is stressed or threatened it can eject its hairs which act a little like harpoons and can penetrate or irritate any exposed skin. Dogs are particularly susceptible as they will pick up the hairs on their paws and then lick them as they start to itch. This then leads to the hairs being transferred on to the animal’s tongue and can result in itching, swelling, vomiting and even death. What you should do if you find them If you become aware that you have these caterpillars on an urbanisation then you should inform the community of owners and they should be removed. In some areas the council will remove them but where this isn’t the case you should engage a specialist. You should not attempt to move them yourself as it is a job for an expert. If you do touch one and become itchy you should consult a doctor. The rashes can be very painful and irritating and can last for a few

If your pet is infected you can usually tell because there will be small white spots in the mouth and on the tongue and the animal will become Caterpillars processing distressed and possibly drool. If they remain untreated, animals can die as the tongue will swell and in some cases has to be cut or amputated. If you know your pet has been affected then you should go to the vets immediately, where they will probably be given a cortisone injection. You should also be careful of any nests the caterpillars have left in the trees. These will also contain some of the hairs that the larvae have left behind. You should not try to cut down the nests or burn them yourself as the hairs can become airborn. They are considered to be a real pest, a threat to the pine trees themselves and, of course, a danger to animals and humans. If you know of someone new to the area who may not be aware, it is worth warning them of the danger.

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Health &Wellbeing Uncle Paul’s problem page

Brillo pad, but make it sexy. Say to him that you love it when he’s all clean and soapy and then maybe you’ll feel better about getting close to him. Good luck though, whatever it turns out to be.

Join Uncle Paul on Facebook!

Uncle Paul

Dear Uncle Paul

Okay, so basically I have this problem with peeing myself, like properly peeing not just small leaks. I’m completely embarrassed and mortified by it. I normally have quite a strong bladder but I don’t know what has changed. I work in a local bar and what I have noticed is it tends to be when people order coffee from me, so I have started avoiding customers who I know will be ordering coffee. I sometimes find I have to do the whole cross- legged stand/dance/sitting down squeezing legs routine but it still happens. Please help me.

I am so embarrassed to say but my husband has started having a problem with his genital area. It smells horrible. It smells constantly of what can only be described as a mixture of rotting Rich Tea biscuits and cabbage. It’s disgusting. Even straight after he comes out of the bath or shower it stinks. There is no way we can have the intimacy we once had while this odor is there. It makes me sick to go near him. What’s going on? Junk Julie

Oldham Boy

Dear Junk Julie First off, thank you, I now have ‘Something kinda ooh’ by Girls Aloud rumbling around in my head! I know you’ve said your husband smells even after showing, but what is he doing in the shower to clean himself? If he’s uncircumcised, is he pulling his foreskin back and cleaning thoroughly in and around all the skin folds? Bacteria will collect here and if not washed thoroughly every day will lead to exactly this issue.You know what we men are like, always half a job!!! In either case, circumcised or not, it’s possible he has a yeast infection. Normally with good hygiene these things do settle down but he could try Canesten cream to see if things improve. Urine infections can also cause odor but those are usually accompanied by other symptoms, like having to pee a lot, or pain when peeing. What I would say that if it’s not a medical issue , but rather a hygiene thing, then I would try and sort it by, say, hopping into the shower with him and cleaning him yourself. Not in a sort of harsh way with a green scorer or a

English Speaking Dentist

Dear Oldham Boy I will say this right off. The coffee has nothing to do with this! You are just being a lazy bugger who can’t be bothered to do his job properly. Are you from up north maybe Oldham or the like? If I was your boss I would have you out of my bar, wet pants or not. Bladder problems affect millions of people and while some of these problems aren’t a serious threat to overall health, they are all distressing and can negatively affect one’s quality of life. Some common bladder problems include urinary incontinence, bladder cancer, and urinary tract infection. The causes of these problems vary, but many of the effects are similar, namely some type of discomfort or lack of control during peeing. More women are affected than men, due to the fact that many factors related to pregnancy and childbirth can be to blame for incontinence. Childbirth, especially, can weaken and stretch the pelvic floor muscles that are responsible for bladder control. Genetic predisposition also plays a role as well as being overweight. That is why you get lots of flooding in the area with having a high proportion of fatties who leak a lot!

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See your doctor dirty moron.

stayed on at the villa. She is always calling

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to have my husband come over and fix the different household problems that come up. At first we felt sorry for her but now she seems to be calling him almost every day. She is always dressed up to the nines like a pig in a blanket and gushes at him all the time. It makes me want to puke! My husband works hard and has a lot to take care of here at home but he does not seem to mind helping her. But I do! How do I stop this? Mildred Dear Mildred She is one dirty little minx!!! I know what she is up to she wants him working his tools! You go girl and tell her that he and his tools have more than enough to sort out attend in your own home and he is busy and not available. Suggest a low-cost handyman or a local retired gentleman who would be more than happy to take care of her and her household needs. She could find plenty of bar lizards who are propping up many of the bars in the area. I know so many who would gladly take care of her taps... Uncle Paul Dear Uncle Paul I work in a local estate agents and a colleague is doing things in front of customers like clean his ears out with a pen and then wipe it on his shirt. Also he continually adjusts his whatnots in front of everyone and never washes his hands. What can I do about it? Sunrise Dear Sunrise Get a few of your friends at different times to write to the manager of your place and complain about his unsanitary behavior when they were in your office. This way it takes the onus off you having to do anything at all, problem solved! It is nothing to do with you it’s your management’s responsibility. Uncle Paul

Why does your nose run? What’s Running? To understand why your nose runs, you need to know whatmucus (say: MYOO-kus) is. This is the gooey, sticky, slimy material that’s made inside your nose (also known as snot). Believe it or

2016

Health &Wellbeing not, your nose and sinuses make about a quart of snot every day!

The Month Of Love

For something kind of gross, mucus does a lot of good. It keeps germs, dirt, pollen, and bacteria from getting into your lungs by stopping them in your nose. But sometimes mucus doesn’t stay put.

The month of love, a commercial turn over for many people .. However there could be a benefit to the month of love especially if we turn that love towards ourselves, look after ourselves and protect ourselves.

Reasons for Running If your nose is running, there are several possible explanations:You have a cold or the flu: When you have either one of these, your nose goes into mucusmaking overdrive to keep the germ invaders out of your lungs and the rest of your body, where they might make you even sicker than you already are.You know what happens then: The mucus runs down your throat, out your nose, or into a tissue when you blow your nose. Or it can fill your sinuses, which is why you get that stuffy feeling.You have allergies: Kids who have allergies get runny noses when they’re around the thing they’re allergic to (like pollen or animal hair). That’s because their bodies react to these things like they’re germs. You’re crying: When you cry, tears come out of the tear glands under your eyelids and drain through the tear ducts that empty into your nose. Tears mix with mucus there and your nose runs. Baby, it’s cold outside: When you’re outside on a cold day, your nose tries its best to warm up the cold air you breathe before sending it to the lungs. Tiny blood vessels inside your nostrils open wider (dilate), helping to warm up that air. But that extra blood flow leads to more mucus production.You know what happens next. Drip, drip, drip. Stoppin’ the Runnin’ If you have allergies, your doctor might give you medicine called an antihistamine (say: an-tye-HISS-tuh-meen). But sometimes the easiest thing to do is — you guessed it — blow your nose! Juan Basilio Galindo Tovar (pharmacist)

We are on the last month of hibernation, a leap into spring is on the horizon so keep holding back with those new activities and those late nights , keep warm at home with some good home cooked food and these few pointers to keep you going Run through our 5 layers morning and night and ask yourself - “How do I feel ?” Physically, Emotionally, Energetically, Mentally and Spiritually. Don a beloved pendant and keep a hand on it when you need to maintain calm.

These positive steps will make you feel positive mentally and positive eating physically. Work with colours to act as a therapy, use them to enhance or change your mood. Where them or surround yourself by them or buy yourself some flowers or where some jewery to give yourself a colour boost RED - power, strength, confidence, passion, love. ORANGE - joy, enthusiasm,creativity, happiness, determination. YELLOW - sunshine, intellect, energy, cheerfullness ( a definate reflection on jane´s new shoes ! ). GREEN - growth, harmony, freshness, fertility, safety. BLUE - stability, loyalty,trust, wisdom, faith.

Keep a tiny photo of a loved one in a locket.

PURPLE - nobility, luxury, ambition, extravagance, mystery.

Douse yourself in your favourite smelling body oil/butter or perfume which could invite a favourite sense of nastalgia or make you feel invigorated or better still nurtured.

As i said a few positive steps to take into this month of love, giving ourself a lift of Confidence and Self Esteem. lisa@yogawithlisa.es (0034) 626 960 354

For every energy-stealing negative thought, turn it into a positive one. For example write down all the benefits in your life if your having a bad day.

Make sure you stock up on healthy snacks, fruit and vegetables avoid comfort eating.

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2016

Costa Cálida’s AWARD WINNING free magazine

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Los Amigos De Mazarrón F.C

LATEST NEWS Mazarron’s excellent results continued into mid January with nine wins, three draws and just one defeat in their last thirteen games. At this stage they were in fourth position in the league, just one point behind the second automatic promotion place and five points clear of the play-off cut-off positions. A 2-1 away win at CD Juvenia was earned without five regular players, three of whom, including leading scorer Jose, were suspended and two injured and, although the game was hard fought it showed the strength in depth of the squad that the coach Victor has assembled. New signing Willy has added a new dimension to the team with his pace and trickery although his final pass sometimes leaves something to be desired. He is already a great favourite with the ladies. In addition young goalkeeper Antonio continues to impress and made an important penalty save in a

Goalkeeper Antonio in action

goalless draw against a strong La Hoya Lorca team. The La Hoya game at the beginning of January saw the biggest crowd of the season at the Estadio Municipal and support at away games continues to grow reflecting the much improved performances by the team.

Full details of all games, date and kick

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Forthcoming league fixtures are:Sunday 7th February Olimpico de Totana (Away) Sunday 14th February C.D. ALGAR (HOME)

In addition, and to continue the theme of comedy and mayhem, our Master of Ceremonies will be comedian Gary Marshall. Gary has appeared in numerous TV shows and performed along such great sporting personalities as Sir Bobby Charlton, Sir Geoff Hurst, Sir Henry Cooper, Frank Bruno, Alan Shearer and Sir Ian Botham. He performed at the Andrew Flintoff Testimonial Dinner at Old Trafford and at the PGA Luncheon at the Grosvenor House Hotel in London. The

Sunday 21st February S.C. AGUILENO (HOME) Sunday 28th February A.D. Alquerias (Away) Sunday 6th March CARTAGENA FC (HOME) Los Amigos members along with other Mazarron supporters donated foodstuffs, rice, flour, pasta etc to the local charity Caritas at the home game against La Hoya Lorca, the first home game in January. A huge amount, over 200 kgs, was collected and the President Jose Rodriquez organised transport to convey the food to the Caritas centre. We hope to have a photograph of the presentation in next month’s edition. The monthly Luncheon Club outings resumed after the break for Christmas with a visit to the Restaurante Venta La Rata in Totana on 19th January. Members and friends enjoyed a varied menu with the usual copious amounts of alcohol consumed. The advantage of having a coach to transport us to and from the venue certainly enables everyone to let their hair down!!

Gary Marshall with Alan Shearer

entertainment for the evening will be rounded off with music and dancing with the Geckos. The event is again jointly sponsored by Ibex Insurance and the Club House, Camposol Club de Golf, part of the

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Mazarron’s home games are normally played on Sundays with varying kick off times. The ex-pat supporters Club, Los Amigos de Mazarron FC also organise a supporters’ coach to most away games, something unique in this area where away support is almost non-existent. Coach tickets for away games are 8€ for Los Amigos de Mazarron FC members and 10€ for non members.

If you have not been to a game before why not pop along to the Estadio Municipal in Mazarron for one of the home games. Admission is only €4 with juveniles free and you can call into the Supporters’ Lounge for a hot drink or beer before the game and at half time. Hot pies and pasties are also available in the lounge at half time if pre-ordered at the Los Amigos meetings.

At the time of writing, there are still a few tickets left for the 7th Annual Los Amigos de Mazarron FC Gala Evening and Dinner at the Hotel la Cumbre, Puerto de Mazarron on Wednesday 16th March. This year’s dinner promises to be the best and certainly the funniest yet. We have secured the services of the funniest speaker on the Football After Dinner Circuit, former Burnley, Wolves and Huddersfield Town star, Steve Kindon.

Sports

off times and coach departure times both home and away, are normally not announced until the Wednesday before the weekend on which the game is to be played and advertised in the local media, on www.mazarronfc.es, on our own Los Amigos de Mazarron FC Facebook page, and on posters at various points throughout Camposol and Mazarron.

2016

Mazarron Entertainments group. Ticket prices remain at 40€ which includes a five course dinner with local beer, wine and soft drinks included during the serving of dinner. We are also holding an exciting Race Night at the Trevi Bar, Camposol B on Monday 14th March. The event is kindly sponsored by David S Poole Accountancy Services Ltd and will begin at 7.30 pm and admission is by ticket only at a cost of €3 (includes Race Card on entry). Bar snacks will be available for purchase at the Trevi Bar on the night. You can also be an owner of a horse for €5 or a jockey for €3 and the winning owners and jockeys in each race will receive a prize. Full details of how to sponsor can be obtained by emailing losamigosdemazarronfc@hotmail.co.uk or at any Los Amigos meeting. In a busy week, our annual Celebrity Golf Day sponsored by Ex-Pat Pensions is taking place at the Camposol Club de Golf on Tuesday 15th March with Steve Kindon, Gary Marshall and ex- England International Tony Currie among the players. Green fees are €25 and buggies are available by advance booking only at €20 per buggy (€10 pp). Entries can be made by email to losamigosdemazarronfc@hotmail.co.uk. Tickets for the Gala Dinner and the Race Night are on sale at our weekly

SAMM Launch New Support Boat

Los Amigos meetings. You can also ring Barbara on 627012646, Dave on 634369639, Gerard on 624320567 or email pamada.1130@yahoo.co.uk or losamigosdemazarronfc@hotmail.co.uk. Los Amigos de Mazarron FC weekly meetings are held every Thursday at the Club House, Camposol Club de Golf at 4 pm with the exception of the last Thursday of each month which is reserved for the Members Business Meeting and open to members only.

Los Amigos membership runs from 1st August each year and costs just 10€ which includes reduced coach travel and reduced prices to most of our social events including the very successful monthly luncheon club. For a membership form, more information and details of all our activities please email pamada.1130@yahoo.co.uk.

2016

The photo shows Bob being presented with the award by outgoing Commodore Janice Penning. SAMM Elect New Commodore

Wednesday January 13th was an exciting day for SAMM members as, immediately after the AGM, the outgoing and incoming Commodores, watched by a large group of SAMM members, jointly launched the new SAMM support boat, a Whaly 435R, using a bottle of finest cava to anoint the hull. The Whaly, a roto-moulded polyethylene Rib design, was identified as being ideal for the various uses the support boat has to cover after extensive research into the market. This Dutch made vessel is used extensively by many organisations around the world for patrol and rescue purposes; there is one in Mazarron harbour and another in San Pedro de Pinitar, both used by the local authorities. The Whaly was ordered from a dealer in Cabo de Palos in November and was delivered mid-December. Since then a small group of SAMM members, led by Bob Miles, fitted out the boat with the engine plus the controls and other equipment necessary.

Tony Currie and Pele

its safe use in a variety of tasks. As the support boat for the race program, a tender to get to boats on swinging moorings, to stand by during dinghy training and practice sessions, to collect wayward boats of the IOM radio control group and generally support any SAMM on-thewater activity.

A new engine will be purchased as soon as funds allow and then the vessel should give many years of reliable and trouble free service. SAMM Honours Member Every year the Race Committee of SAMM, the Sailing Association Mar Menor, make a special award to a member; either to acknowledge their efforts to support the race program or to recognise their sailing and racing skill. This year the proud recipient was Bob Miles who was given the award, a glass yacht trophy, to acknowledge his tireless work over the last five years as the chief maintenance and training manager for the SAMM support boat. Bob is a retired GPO engineer and RYA qualified power and safety boat instructor. However he has not retired from helping SAMM as he will continue to be responsible for the maintenance of the new Whaly support boat, which was launched on January 13th, and train suitably qualified SAMM members in

After three years at the helm, Janice Penning the Commodore of SAMM, the Sailing Association Mar Menor, stepped down at the end of 2015 in accordance with the rules. At the Associations AGM, held on Wednesday January 13th, the membership elected Paul Shard, a member of the Shoestring Dinghy Group within SAMM, to the position. The Commodores job is to guide SAMM through any changes the membership requires, to represent SAMM in any negotiations with local organisations and authorities and generally oversee the running of the organisation for the benefit of its members. Janice’s reign has seen a gradual increase in membership numbers up to the present level of 170, the consolidation of the Associations links with CAR, the Spanish sports establishment based on the shore of the Mar Menor at Los Narejos, Los Alcazares, where most of SAMM’s activities are based and latterly the acquisition of the new support boat, a Whaly 435R. We wish Paul all good wishes to take the organisation into the future for the benefit of all sailors in the region. George Wedgewood also stood down and Pat Fleck was elected to the post of web site administrator. The photo shows Janice being presented with a bouquet by Paul to mark the occasion. For more information about SAMM go to www. sailingmarmenor.com

Costa Cálida’s AWARD WINNING free magazine

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the autopilot features in a conference call with Mobileye, a technological company that excels in creating collision avoidance systems.

How well do you know Spanish motoring laws? As ex pats, we are generally all well aware of driving laws in our home country, but even though we are in the European Union, laws can vary widely in each member state. How well do you kow the laws in Spain? We are all well aware of the main issues such as speeding, not stopping at a red light or driving under the influence of alcohol and drugs, but what about some of the lesser known infractions? During the summer when everyone is in holiday mode, it is quite easy to forget some of the minor offences, especially when our minds are elsewhere. Here are a few reminders of some of these actions, which some of us may not even be aware are not allowed. Eating or putting make-up on while you are driving could result in a fine of as much as 200 euro or 2 points off your license. Fines will also be doled out for playing excessively loud music on your car stereo or tooting the horn for no justifiable reason. You could be denounced if you fail to stop when flagged down by an agent. All that they need to do this is your license plate number and a reason! Any child below the height of 1,35m is prohibited from travelling in the front passenger seat, unless the back seats are occupied by shorter children. In this case, age does not factor, it’s the height that matters. And there are other issues to consider too even when you are not behind the wheel, as these could cost you a considerable amount of money too. Forgetting to take your driving license out with you if you are driving could cost you 100 euro, while driving with an out-of-date license will set you back 200 euro if you are caught. If you move house and fail to inform Tráfico (DGT) of your new address, you could be faced with an 80 euro fine. Driving with a license plate that is not in good condition or which is the wrong size could lead to penalization of 80 euro.

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The same goes for those who place stickers, publicity or pictures over the car’s license plate.

Purposely making the vehicle’s tyres skid when setting off comes with a 100euro fine. And driving without having passed your test and therefore without having been issued a driving license will cost you 500 euro. Driving without a license because it has been confiscated by Tráfico or a judge can be punished by 3 to 6 months in prison and a 12-month fine. If you do get caught for any of the above and are issued with a sanction, paying within 20 days means that the fine will be reduced by 50%. However, the best option is to remedy anything that’s not up to scratch and ensure that you don’t commit any of the offences outlined above.

Tesla’s New Autopilot Confirmed by Elon Musk

A couple of months ago, rumors surfaced around Tesla Motors possibly introducing a new version of autopilot for their electric cars. As many people groaned in outrage, lamenting the new car they had just picked out, others were overjoyed and look towards the new technology Tesla will introduce. Elon Musk confirmed

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In 2014, the Model S was released, equipped with the first autopilot feature. This feature allowed the car to self parallel-park, cruise control with traffic awareness, and change lanes automatically. Not only was the car innovative, it received a five star safety rating in the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration crash test. The new autopilot will exceed its predecessor in capability. The vehicles will be set to have an 8 camera system, increasing the car’s autopilot capacities. Musk commented on the validity of adding new cameras, saying “cameras are crucial. There are no other sensor that have enough details of the scene to interpret it like we do.” He also commented on the eight-camera system, saying: “Today we are already preparing with one of the OEM [original equipment manufacturer], a first vehicle based on 8 cameras, one radar and ultrasonic around the vehicle. So this is much wider implementation of the first introduction of semi-autonomous driving, and the trifocal is going to be here as we planned, but additional 4 cameras around the vehicle and one camera looking back. The system will run on 5 EyeQ3 chips and all of them will be connected.” The added cameras would eliminate blind spots, and allow the vehicle a more comprehensive view of its surroundings. With the current version of Summon, the car will come and find you if you’re on private property,” “The car will exit the garage, close the garage behind it and come over to you. “This is the first baby step ultimately you’ll be able to summon the car from New York if you’re living in LA, and it will drive across the country, charge itself at the various locations and come to you.” While there is no release date set yet for the new innovations implanted by Tesla, hopeful consumers speculate anywhere from two to four years before these cars hit the streets.

2016

#10 Lotus Esprit Turbo Lotus Esprit Turbo - For Your Eyes Only

the “burglar protected” sticker-smashes the passenger window. Q’s self destruct system promptly kicks in, blowing the car and the henchman to pieces. In a later scene in Q’s lab, Bond spots a replacement car and jibes “I see you managed to get the Lotus back together again.”

Model: Esprit Turbo (1981) Bond Movie: (1981)

For Your Eyes Only

Synopsis: Following the well received appearance in The Spy Who Loved Me, Lotus returned for a second and final time in For Your Eyes Only, with an upgraded Lotus Esprit Turbo. Not wanting to appear stale and repetitive, the producers decided against using the Lotus for another chase scene, especially considering it was virtually the same model and color. Instead, it was used as part of a few jokes. Bond drives the Esprit to the hideout of Hector Gonzales, but when it comes time to escape, the car meets with an ill fate. One of Gonzale’s henchmen approaches the Lotus and--ignoring

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the UK. Angela has over 30 years’ experience in the financial services industry, specialising in recent years in products and services that are of particular help to those living and working abroad.

EXPAT PENSIONS TO SPONSOR CELEBRITY GOLF TOURNAMENT One of the Costas’ most respected financial advisory firms has been announced as the Legal & Financial Services flagship sponsor of the Celebrity Golf Tournament which is part of Los Amigos de Mazarron The ONLY qualified and experienced UK FC’s March 2016 “Gala Week” Lawyer in this area providing a comprehensive Following their successful range of services covering English and Spanish sponsorship last year, there is matters including QROPS Pension transfers to no hesitation in repeating the experience. unlock your UK private pension Expat Pensions, the trading style in the EU of the UK-based Magna Wealth Management Ltd, is well known to many in the Mazarron area who have benefitted from Managing Director Angela South’s help and advice. Angela is a familiar figure in the area and has worked with Shirley Fisher Legal & Financial Services, in the offices they share at the Camposol Business Centre for many years.

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Shirley Fisher

Expat Pensions works with introducers and businesses like Shirley Fisher Legal & Financial Services throughout Spain but particularly on the Costas from Barcelona to Gibraltar. Shirley and Angela are well known to listeners to Costa Calida International Radio for their monthly double act where they discuss legal and financial matters from both a Spanish and a UK perspective.

For an initial discussion please telephone 634 053 976 or email:shirleyfisherlegalservices@gmail.com Camposol Business Centre Calle Madrid 19, Sector A Camposol, Mazarron MURCIA 30875

Angela said: “We are really looking forward to this year’s Celebrity Golf Tournament and Both myself and my colleagues from Expat Pensions will be on hand if anyone wishes to chat about their financial affairs or ask us to look at a particular issue for them”.

FOR AN APPOINTMENT Tel: 968 103 008 FAX: 968 199 664

“Likewise, my Co-director Andy Skinner is looking forward to taking part in the Golf Tournament again and has been

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Rosa - 125,000€ GOLF COURSE VIEWS Well maintained 2 beds, 2 baths, detached villa only a short walk to the local amenities with spacious lounge, log burner fire, ceiling fans, Sat TV, internet, part covered sun terrace, private swimming pool, low maintenance garden, off road parking, garden storage, solarium, fly screens, huge under build. Located on B. Part furnished.

EXCELLENT LOCATION Close to all facilities is this immaculate central heated detached villa with “boxed in stairs” 3 beds, 3 baths, large lounge, log burner, A/C, ceiling fans, glazed sun lounge, private garden with gated swimming pool, patio, BBQ, off road parking, solarium, large basement, fly screens, quality furnishings throughout. Located on B. Fully furnished.

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Fortuna – 110,000€ WALK TO AMENITIES Immaculate detached 2 beds, 1 bath villa with low level entrance, full length sun terrace with pergola, pretty garden, patio, off road parking, carport, garden storage, solarium, golf course views, lounge with log burner fire, ceiling fans, Sat TV, internet. Located on B. Fully furnished.

2016

working hard to improve his handicap, so anyone seeing him in the distance is well advised to take shelter!” Anyone requiring information on their investments and would like to make an appointment during the Gala Week on TUESDAY 15TH OR WEDNESDAY 16TH MARCH, in the first instance contact Shirley Ann Fisher, UK Lawyer & Commissioner for Oaths at Camposol Business Centre on Sector A – Tel 968 103 008, Mobile 634 053 976 Email: shirleyfisherlegalservices@gmail.com Expat Pensions is a trading style of Magna Wealth Management Ltd which is authorised by the Financial Conduct Authority (FCA) in the UK – one of the very few FCA regulated financial adviser firms operating in Spain. You can find out more atwww.expatpensions.info or by calling head office on 0044 1789 490363

Bankia Applies 98 Cent Fee for Cash Withdrawal Withdrawing money out of a cash machine that isn’t part of your own bank’s network is becoming a lucrative business. That is for the banks themselves, however. For the customer it’s turning into a real pain, particularly

if he chooses to hunt around for a machine that doesn’t charge the extra commission. Caixabank, Santander and BBVA were the first banks to announce extra charges for non-clients, which meant that non-customers were being charged commission twice. The government did step in and issue

an urgent decree stating that it was up to the client’s own bank as to whether it would actually charge the client the commission or decide to swallow the fee itself. But it seems that another entity has not taken much notice of this decree and has joined the three aforementioned banks in administering the extra commission to non-clients that use their machines to

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Property, Financial and Legal withdraw cash. From this week Bankia has started applying a 98 cent commission for the use of its cash machines to any client that doesn’t belong to either Banco Sabadell or the entities within the Euro 6000 network. This is half the amount applied by Caixabank, Santander and BBVA for the use of their machines. For the clients of Sabadell and Euro 6000, they will only have to pay a commission of 65 cents due to an agreement signed in the middle of this month with the issuing bank. This fee of 65 cents is the maximum that clients will have to pay, despite the quantity of money withdrawn. Nevertheless, each bank still has to decide themselves whether they will charge their own customer in full, in part or not at all. EVO Banco has just announced that it will not transfer the commission to its clients, but the latest news is that ING Direct will. Bankia, which is presided over by José Ignacio Goirigolzarri, has the third largest network of cash machines and entities in Spain, with a ratio greater than two machines per office.

A Year in Review: The Property Market 2015 by Kate Taylor 2015 was a fantastic year for the property sector in Spain. We have seen

12 months of consolidation of a new positive cycle, which began at the end of 2014. The main variables to measure the health of the residential sector – prices, purchases, mortgages granted and the construction of new buildings – ended the year in positive figures, and that’s without exception. We can finally wave goodbye to the crippling crisis, which commenced in the third quarter of 2007 and didn’t reach its turning point until 2013. The main factors to see the situation turn around to a more positive one include the economic recovery of Spain in general, the end of the spiralling destruction of employment and the progressive return of finance from the banks. These have all led to an increase in consumer confidence, which has encouraged people to buy property again without fearing that the market will crash. As a result, house prices have increased in certain areas where purchases have picked up substantially and the market has become active once again.

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finance for a small mortgage. In 2014 the recovery of the sector began to be noticed in Madrid and Barcelona first of all, and this was then followed by in tourist areas such as Malaga, Alicante and the Balearic Islands. In 2015 this tendency became more apparent, but hasn’t completely followed through to the rest of Spain, although other major cities have begun to see their market pick up and new buildings being erected due to new demand. Perhaps the most noticeable phenomena in 2015 was the fact that developers are purchasing land once again. This is particularly the case in Madrid. As a result, property prices are going up and the demand for property and urban land to build on has shot up very quickly. As a result, it is expected that the construction sector will continue to expand and the rhythm of completing new buildings will increase to a healthier rate. All in all the rest of 2016 is looking very positive and experts believe that the recovery of the sector will continue as before, but at a more sustainable rate.

However, in saying this, the main people buying property have been those with money saved up and to spare, and who would easily be able to access

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2016

S ON .5% LE SSI 2 SA MI LY M ON COOM FR

RESALE • RENTAL • PRESTIGE

Your key to Another World... Ref: 1526 249,995€ A superb reformed attached village house! 3bed, 2 baths (1 en-suite), modern kitchen and exposed beams throughout, roof solarium, large bathroom with wet room shower, large fully fitted kitchen with feature log burner, dining room, large garden with swimming pool, garage. Totally renovated, a stunning house!

Ref: 1530 240,000€

Ref: 1483 59,000€ Immaculately presented 2 Bed 1 Bath Rebecca style property on Camposol. Fully furnished, A/C, Fully fitted extended kitchen with all white goods, terrace, solarium and great mountain views.

Ref: 1517 129,999€ Very well presented 3 bed 3 bath neptuno deluxe villa that would make and ideal holiday home. Modern kitchen, fitted wardrobes, solarium, stunning low maintenance gardens, rejas, UK tv, large under build- to be sold fully furnished! A great, family friendly villa in a great location!

Ref: 1533 199,000€

Ref: 1523 139,950€

Stunning Neptuno Villa on Camposol´s first phase, 3 bed 2baths, Conservatory, high spec kitchen with all the white goods, Air con throughout, 10x5 pool outside dining area, off road parking, sauna, roof solarium needs to be viewed to be fully appreciated.

Stunning Neptuno Deluxe 3 bed 3 bath villa on the third phase of Camposol. 350m2 plot with a private pool, spacious lounge, fitted kitchen including all the white goods Freeview television, Solaruim, Low maintenance gardens, great mountain views

Ref: Ref: 1531 399,995€

Ref: 1464 160,000€

Excellent 5 bed 3 bath country villa in Totana that must be seen to be appreciated. Large pool, stunning views refitted kitchen 200m2 of living space situated on a 2,500m2 plot. A property of this calibre must been viewed to be fully appreciated.

3 bed, 3 bath neptuno deluxe style villa ono Camposol, maintained to the highest of standards. Large plot, private pool this villas boasts some fantastic spaces, both inside and out, with terraces, solarium and great mountain views

+34 968

Delightful 4-bedroom home with lots of living space and the potential to add another 2 bedrooms and bathrooms. Modern kitchen and in great overall condition this is a fantastic home, with great potential- viewing highly recommended

592 679

Sales@anotherworldproperties.net www.anotherworldproperties.net

2016

Office: Camposol Sector B, next to Happy Pets Costa Cálida’s AWARD WINNING free magazine

page 51

Useful Numbers activities Mariposa 968 631 008 Airconditioning: AC Services: 672 850 963 TJ Electricals: 868 181 121 Bar, restaurants & cafes AP’s 968 978 869 Bar Med: 968 595 864 Bar Trevi 968 199 939 Cat’s Bar 634 322 729 Club House Bistro 968 978 855 Elliots 968 158 499 La Vida 625 917 425 Mariposa 968 631 008 Quality Indian restaurant Tel 968 199 198 Ratatouille 968 155 887 Piccolo 968 131 515 Ratatouille 968 155 887 Sartaj Indian Restaurant: 968 115 260 Seventh Heaven 968 332 088 Spice Villa 968 199 226 The New Royal 968 595 864 Welcome Place: 968199 298 Beauty Care & Health Clinical complementary therapies 634 327 241 Heather mobile 636 657 481 Freedom Mobility 968 153 620 Builders Brian Jones and Co: 646 705 021 CM Constructions 659 159 948 JML Building: 669 05 46 52 Car Hire & SERVICES F&C Rental 968 199 156 Car mechanics & car sales Ken Sherwood mechanics 679 646 859 Carpentry Dave Davidson 634 330 706 Camposol Business Centre The Journal, Security, Dentist, Chiropodists, Camposol Health Clinic 968 103 008 Central Heating & Plumbing Calida Gas & Oil 659 761 771 Charities Age Concern 634 310216 Andreas animal rescue 690 906 565 FAST: Non Emergency 634 309 899 PALS 968 422 228 / 626460 465 Lions 696 827 525 Mabs 639 665 370 Making a Difference 634 357 137 Chimney Sweep Tony 646 438 694 Chiropodists Nathalia 968 103 008 Computer design services Daniel White www.danielwhitedesign. com Counselling/Life coaching: Clearway Forward, Paul Cosco: 629 661 862 Dentists Camposol Business Centre 968 103 008 Ear Candling Heather mobile 636 657 481 Electricians Andy 617 644 339 Funerals and funeral plans

Tony Smith, Funeral director 650 631 719

Fish & Chips Cats Bar: 666 188 353 Elliots Bolnuevo 968 158 499 Trevi Bar: 968 199 939 Hairdressers Carols 968 974 989 Euphoria 868 188 706/657 713 571 Fusiion 968 961 222 Jane’s Salon 968 158 433 Home Furnishings & furniture Furniture Plus 968 153 907/678 083 491 Insurance & Asesoria Nash Warren, Bolnuevo 968 156 583 Liberty Seguros 968 138 516 / 620 277 690 El Pilar 968 425 210 Law services Shirley Ann Fisher 968 103 008 Metalwork Eriks 636 050 008 Mobility, aids & equipment Freedom & mobility 968 153 620 Property services Camposol Properties 968 592 679 Helping Hands Home Care675 865 636 Home Management Services: 968 328 074/637 130 784 Kevins Fly Screens 650 662 579/616 984 652 Pool cleaning, maintenance & repair Camposol Properties 646 476 911 Kohn Pool Services 968 138 638/626 684 979 Pool Cleaning Mazarron 605 081 954 Tony, the pool diver 646 438 694 Printing & Design Insignia Graphics, 618 615 903 Mister print 638 893 357 SALES AND RENTAL AGENTS 2let2buy2sell 968 979 876 UK 00 44 1223 968 199 Another World 968 592 679 Best of Spanish/Murcia Coast and Country 968 598 173/664 360 208 Costa Calida Property Services 968 199 251 Mercers 968 199 188 UK 08450 177 805 Sensol Golf Villa Rentals 968 970 614/608 631 700 VillaQuest 968 974 918 Spanish interpreters and courses Debbies translations & interpreting, 677 353 136 Pilar Garcia 663 74 24 42 Television Services Rainbow, 686 358 475 Window cleaning services Miles Better: 619 877 103 Water, purification services Waterfiltersspain: 677 353 136 Miles Better Water Filters 619 877 303

Getting in touch with the committees and organisations

CRA Camposol Residents Association. The cabin is located alongside the Cultural Centre on Sector B and is open on Monday, Wednesday and Friday from 11 to 1pm.(Closed on Bank Holidays) The Chairman is Phil Gelling and can be contacted on chairman@cracamposol.com, general or membership enquiries can be sent to info@cracamposol.com. The duty Committee member can be contacted on 634 364 739. Their website is www.cracamposol.com This number is manned every morning Monday thru Friday 10am / 12noon Sector A gardening Group is Chaired by John Grant.Web address: www.lospalacios-gardeners. com. Contact the Secretary for details of monthly meetings on:joce@lospalacios-gardeners.com Friday morning bookstall outside the post room on A. Sector B & B-clean (their gardening group) NB B sector community group is newly formed. Helen White 968 199 506 is the pro tem organisor. Sector C Greenfingers gardening group, Chairman, John Osborne- Tel 634 325 427 email: johnos1943@gmail.com. Camposol Community Group D Sector The group meets monthly on the first Monday at 4PM at The Clubhouse.Chair: Ken D’Angelo Email: kendangelo1818@gmail.com Vice Chair: Paul Reid Email: paullindale@aol.com Treasurer: Anita Girvan Email: anitagirvan@outlook.com Membership Secretary: Carol D’Angelo Email:dmemsec@outlook.com A car with tow bar and trailer is now available for sector D residents to take garden waste to the Eco park, contact Alan Muncaster 654 024 474 Age Concern can be found at the Cultural Centre on Wednesdays and Thursdays 10am to 1pm and Fridays 12.30 to 3.30pm. Telephone 634 310216, email ageconcerncostacalida@hotmail.com Camposolers The registered group site for residents of Camposol, the proprietor is Reg Rogers who can be contacted by e-mailing reg rogers@hotmail.com. Apply to Reg for membership. NB there is an underline dash between reg and rogers!!!!!! Town Hall can now be contacted through an office in the Cultural Centre Sector B, by the roundabout down from the roundabout by the filling station. Tatiana Andres is there to help you between 1600 to 1800 every weekday. Phone 968 131 717, email oficinacamposol@mazarron.es MABS now have an office on the main dual carriage way on Sector B. LIONS, Membership: Lion nigel 651867105 Welfare:Lion Gina 654874563 ANNOUNCEMENTS Welcome book club every second and fourth Tuesday in the underbuild at the former medical centre on Sector B.

In the event of a medical emergency call 112 and then phone F.A.S.T on 968 970 626 (Camposol Only)

HELPING HANDS HOME CARE Gardening, Painting, General DIY, NO JOB TOO BIG OR SMALL Fully Legal Call Karen on 675 865 636

Well here we are half way through January, just where has the time gone, in particular since my visit to England? Well Narlia was the perfect companion and is now settled and so happy with her new family, enjoying long muddy walks with her new brothers and sisters! I had a great time in the UK too, it’s many years since I have been, but, I was so happy to be back in Spain. Can’t believe how much I missed my boys and girls!! We managed to have a nice relaxing start to the year by taking some of our gang down into the Port for a lovely, sunny walk on the beach. What a lovely change that made, just a shame we don’t have time to do it a little more often. The Yard is looking very spick and span too, the donkeys have had their accommodation upgraded a little in preparation for the winter……….but where is it? I can’t believe this weather. It makes all our jobs a little easier when the weather is so good but we are ready……should it decide to arrive!!! We had the pleasure of having a hedgehog as one of our residents for a short while. He soon settled in very well and was eating, drinking and very active!! After a few weeks we were able to release him back into the wild where he scurried off. Remember Tiny Tim (now Scout) who was brought into the shop in Mazarron in the summer, he weighed a mere 300g didn’t have any teeth, and was approximately 2 weeks old, the odds of him surviving were against him. Well he went to one of our wonderful foster mummies to start with……..and look at him now!!! Whoa he is gorgeous; you never know how some of these pups are going to turn out!! He now lives in England and obviously has a very good life, because, he looks amazing. Thank you Linda. We have 3 beautiful dogs that need rehoming. The first one is Dougi who is a medium sized Spanish Sheep Dog. He is very obedient, walks well off the lead is super friendly and would make a lovely family pet. He is all white and shaggy and has the most amazing smile!! He is approximately 2 years old and will be castrated next week. Subject to home checks he could be yours!! Check out our Facebook page for adorable photos. Jackson is our next adoptee. He is large black dog weighing approximately 30 kilos. He turned up at my gate in December a little on the thin side. He is doing well and putting on weight. He loves a fuss and is very friendly and approximately 4 years old. Come and meet him your heart will melt! Finally there is Cinders. She has been with me for a while and so deserves a loving home. Gorgeous markings and so pretty. Looks as though her nose has been dunked in an inkpot!! Cinders is such a good girl, come and meet her. All the above are up for adoption and would make great family pets. Give me a call on 690 90 65 65 to discuss your options. I will be in my usual spot on Mondays in the Car Park on Camposol B 11.30-1.30 to receive any donations or you can drop them into either of our shops in Roldan or Mazarron 10.320-1.30pm.

Andrea x

page 53

Our chairman, Tony Holford, would like to take this opportunity to express his personal thanks to all our volunteer helpers past and present who have enabled this worthwhile charity to not only exist, but also to develop into the recognised and revered charity that it is today. This will be his last year as chairman as he will have completed his three year term. We would like to mention and thank two primary schools in Mazarrón, Infanta Leonor primary school for collecting items of clothing and food and Gines Garcia primary school for children’s clothing. These items had been collected throughout the months leading up to Christmas and were donated by the parents of the pupils to enable us to redistribute so we thank them all on behalf of our clients. We have had a 3,300 euro contribution from Mazarrón Town Hall for the purchase of essential items. We are grateful for their recognition and support. We are constantly amazed by the kindness of the people in our area; we receive such generous donations. We would especially like to mention Euronics electrical shop and Furniture Plus from whom we receive good saleable second-hand furniture and white goods and Lidl Supermarket who give us their damaged packet and tin goods and rejected fresh produce. This is cleaned and the good items are distributed to our clients to boost the aid products we supply to them. This all takes team effort and we have an amazing, hard-working and truly indispensable team to help us achieve this particular part of our work. We are at present preparing for our Spring Fashion Show, so if you have any good quality ladies clothing that you would like to donate, please think of us. Items can be brought to either of our shops or to our van, which is at the Country Club on 2nd and last Monday each month from 11am-1pm and in the car park on Camposol sector A every Tuesday from 11am–1pm. Donations can also be left at our Table Top sales on Camposol Sector B on 2nd and last Friday each month. Our van will be in the sector B car park on these sale days too. Call 634 357 137 or email madmazarron@live.com for details of other drop off points or for more information about our association. Thank you all for your continued support and for helping us to make a difference in Mazarrón.

Tickets & information from: Camposol Cultural Centre Wed/Thu 10am to 1pm, Friday 12.30 to 2pm Telephone: 634 310 215 Other areas: 634 336 484

www.thejournalspain.es

2016

thelastlaugh20@gmail.com If you have a favourite joke that is suitable for a family magazine and not too long why not send it to

thelastlaugh20@gmail.com

We will publish it and give you a credit

I was in the jungle and there was this monkey with a tin opener. I said, ‘You don’t need a tin opener to peel a banana.’ He said, ‘No, this is for the custard.’

wondering, exactly how do you prepare your chickens?’ ‘Nothing special, sir. We just tell them straight out that they’re going to die. So I started playing the piano and this elephant burst into tears, I said “do you recognise the tune?”, he said “I recognise the ivory”. I saw this bloke chatting up a cheetah, I thought “he’s trying to pull a fast one”.

This policeman came up to me with a pencil and a piece of very thin paper. He said, ‘I want you to trace someone for me.’

So I said to this train driver “I want to go to Paris”. He said “Eurostar?”. I said “I’ve been on telly but I’m no Dean Martin”.

I told my mum that I’d opened a theatre. She said, ‘Are you having me on?’ I said, ‘Well I’ll give you an audition, but I’m not promising you anything.’

So I said to the Gym instructor “Can you teach me to do the splits?”. He said “How flexible are you?”. I said “I can’t make Tuesdays”.

I visited the offices of the RSPCA today. It’s tiny: you couldn’t swing a cat in there. I went to the local video shop and I said, ‘Can I take out The Elephant Man?’ He said, ‘He’s not your type.’ I said ‘Can I borrow Batman Forever?’ He said, ‘No, you’ll have to bring it back tomorrow’ A waiter asks a man, ‘May I take your order, sir?’ ‘Yes,’ the man replies. ‘I’m just

Last month’s Suduko answers

But I’ll tell you what I love doing more than anything: trying to pack myself in a small suitcase. I can hardly contain myself. Now you know those trick candles that you blow out and a couple of seconds later they come alight again, well the other day there was a fire at the factory that makes them, it lasted 3 weeks So I met this gangster who pulls up the back of people’s pants, it was Weggie Kray. So I said “Do you want a game of Darts?”, he said “OK then”, I said “Nearest to bull starts”. He said “Baa”, I said “Moo”, he said “You’re closest”. You see I’m against hunting, in fact I’m a hunt

saboteur. I go out the night before and shoot the fox. The other day I sent my girlfriend a huge pile of snow. I rang her up, I said “Do you get my drift?”. So I went down the local supermarket, I said “I want to make a complaint, this vinegar’s got lumps in it”, he said “Those are pickled onions”. So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says “Your eyes sparkle like diamonds”. I said “Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck”. So this bloke says to me, “Can I come in your house and talk about your carpets?”. I thought “That’s all I need, a Je-hoover’s witness”. You see my next door neighbor worships exhaust pipes, he’s a catholic converter. So I rang up British Telecom, I said “I want to report a nuisance caller”, he said “Not you again”. And I’ve got a friend who’s fallen in love with two school bags, he’s bisatchel. So I was in Tesco’s and I saw this man and woman wrapped in a barcode. I said “Are you two an item?”. So a lorry-load of tortoises crashed into a train-load of terrapins, I thought “That’s a turtle disaster”. And an airplane of spittle dived into the sea, there were no salivas.

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