Tips for Managing Holiday Season Stress

By Howard Olshansky, JFS Executive Director

Happy Hanukkah! Merry Christmas! Happy Kwanza! Happy New Year! All around us we are bombarded with images of celebrations. Advertisers depict families surrounded by gifts, holiday gatherings, and family meals. Holiday movies flood us with stories that tug at the heart. I mean, who wouldn’t want to be Jimmy Stewart at the end of “It’s a Wonderful Life?”

Unfortunately, for most of us, the holiday season is not so uplifting. In fact, for the majority of Americans, the holiday season is fraught with stress and anxiety. Family dynamics get in the way of peaceful celebrations together, an eagerness to please causes people to spend more than they can afford, and holiday events add stress to often already very busy schedules.

If you are one in five who suffers with a mental illness, the holidays only exacerbate your mental health symptoms. According the National Alliance on Mental Illness, 64% of people with a mental illness reported experiencing increased symptoms, including stress, anxiety, and depression, during the holiday season.

Celebrating holidays while still dealing with COVID only makes everything more difficult. On top of the typical holiday stressors such as feelings of loneliness, worry about finances, and anxiety around social events,

COVID presents a whole set of new challenges. Do I attend public gatherings? Will people be wearing masks? What should I do if they aren’t? How do I know who is or isn’t vaccinated?

How can you manage to minimize the stress and anxiety and maybe even enjoy the season? Here are some tips that might help:

Family Gatherings

• Opt out this year! Let your extended family know you decided to keep it small this year and are just celebrating with immediate family.

• Speak to family members and set up ground rules in advance. Go over the “unacceptable conversations” — those that typically create arguments and tension.

• Plan smaller gatherings by getting together with one family at a time, eliminating everyone being together.

Gift Giving

• Determine a total amount you are going to spend that is within your budget and

then make a list of the gifts you need to buy. Once you have completed your purchases, stop shopping!

• Prioritize the people on your list and only purchase gifts for those individuals. If you feel it is necessary, you can give away homemade baked goods or gifts to others.

• Make a donation to your favorite charity and send a note to those on your list informing them that in lieu of a gift, you have made a donation to help others.

Events

• As with family gatherings, opt out! Let folks know you are not doing parties, gatherings, and so forth this year.

• Attend with someone you are comfortable socializing with at the event.

• Get as much information as possible so you can be prepared with directions, parking, dress, time, and so on. The more you know, the better able you are to plan.

• If you are anxious about COVID, ask in advance whether there will be

COVID protocols in place. If you are uncomfortable, COVID is a valid reason not to attend.

Lonliness

• If you do not have family or a social network in your area, look for activities geared toward singles; many of the attendees will be in the same position as you.

• Attend virtual events. The pandemic has presented many opportunities to participate in programs and activities virtually. This will help keep you engaged and entertained.

• Reconnect with family or friends who you have been meaning to contact but haven’t gotten to. Give them a call or Zoom with them.

• If you are able, consider a short trip to visit a family member or friend, even if just for a day or two.

• Load up on your favorite home entertainment such as your favorite books, movies, CDs, or TV shows. The most effective way to reduce your holiday stress is to take control. It is up to you to determine who, what, where, and how you engage. If you focus on the things and people that bring you pleasure, you may truly enjoy the season.