1 self love truth about success by The Coaching Institute

≠≠≠≠≠=====]≠___

WHEN WE QUESTION OURSELVES… True Success… Self-Love Sharon Pearson

For many of us, believing in ourselves, and that we can be happy and love ourselves, seems distant and unobtainable. As a TCI Meta Coach, we know that for every person wanting to achieve a goal, there is someone who is afraid before they even get started. Our role then, is to know that goal setting without healing is counter-productive.

COACHING THE CLIENT WHO HOLDS THEMSELVES BACK… We come to the coaching session knowing that fear and self-doubt cannot be ignored, but the client can free themselves from this cycle of self-sabotage and procrastination. Firstly, the client must be willing to change! You, the coach, are not here to ‘fix’ anyone, or insist on a client making progress. The client themselves must bring commitment to their own journey. Secondly, the client must be willing to take an honest self-appraisal of where they’re at and what self-doubt has cost them until now. A client that hides can’t be coached. And thirdly, the client must be willing to take responsibility that it is up to them, and only them, for their circumstance to change. They must be willing to own their own journey! Are you willing to be the change you want to see? Why is this important to you?

THE FIVE STEPS TO LACK How does it happen that so many of us hold ourselves back and doubt ourselves? Why can it seem so difficult to move forward, when we know we want to so much? We go through five stagesâ&#x20AC;¦

STAGE ONE

A significant emotional event occurs We are (or perceive we are) abandoned, traumatised, abused, neglected, belittled

SIGNIFICANT EMOTIONAL EVENT _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________

STAGE TWO

WE FEEL... _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________

STAGE THREE

We blame ourselves and decide (perhaps even unconsciously) that we are: Unlovable Weak A fake Not worth it To blame Ordinary

Incompetent Powerless Selfish Stupid

THE LABEL I CHOSE _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________

STAGE FOUR

We create stories (our narrative) to explain how this is true. And this becomes our ‘crud’ that we have to hide from the world… For example, I decided that I was unlovable, and the story I told myself was that it was just the way it was, and there was nothing I could do about it.

MY STORY (NARRATIVE) _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________

STAGE FIVE We try to hide our shame, and what we think is our ‘crud’ from the world through the very activities that prevent us moving forward towards the life we really want and crave… The activities to hide the crud… People pleasing Putting yourself down Procrastination Over-apologising Hiding

Addiction Escapism Judging Defensive Dismissive/sceptical Negative self-talk Manipulating others Self-sabotaging

MY CHOSEN 'CRUD' HIDING ACTIVITY _____________________________________________________

THE FIVE STEPS TO SELF-LOVE / EMPOWERING YOU! So how do we recover our true selves? How do we get back to the truth, that we are loving, lovable and able to design the life we choose? How do reclaim what seems lost?

STAGE ONE Ask ourselves if we’re really ready to reclaim our lives. This means… No more blaming No more excuses No more denying we’re hurt No more holding that grudge No more pretending we’re ‘fine’ No more playing the victim No more giving away our truths to placate others No more drama No more escapism No more settling for a small life No more being the martyr

I GIVE UP... _____________________________________________________

STAGE TWO

We dump the story (narrative) that we have held onto…

It’s well and truly my time and I am giving up my story so that I can replace it with my new narrative. It’s my time! YES, I GIVE UP MY STORY THAT... _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________

_____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________

STAGE THREE We realise that all attributes are available, and it’s time for me to notice and focus on attributes that serve me, support me, nurture me and help me become the best version of me I can become… The attributes I could claim… Kindness Compassion Willingness to learn Playfulness Curiosity Openness to ideas Creativity Joy Resilience

It’s well and truly my time to claim the attributes that I have neglected for too long!

THE ATTRIBUTES I NOW CLAIM… ________________________ ________________________ ________________________ ________________________ ________________________ ________________________

STAGE FOUR We dare to create an image of our future selves, EXACTLY as we would dream us to be! (Our new narrative) For example… I, Sharon, see, hear, feel and KNOW that I am a loving and passionate woman who empowers others playfully.

It’s well and truly my time and I EMBRACE my new self fully! MY TRUE SELF... I, ________________________ , see, hear, KNOW that I am a _____________________________________________________ who _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________

STAGE FIVE We take action … NOTHING replaces taking action at the moment of decision. Never leave the place of decision without taking the first action step! The KEY to this is to keep the promises we make to ourselves, consistently! No more BS. If you say you’ll do it, you do it! Your action steps could include… Take a class Learn something new

Give a gift Write your gratitudes Risk making a mistake Forgive yourself Say ‘yes’ to something new Say you’re sorry Dance

It's my time! MY ACTION STEP(S)… _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________

THE COACHING INSTITUTE Suite 40, 37-39 Albert Road, Melbourne, VIC 3004, Australia. Phone: 1800 094 927 Fax: +61 3 9645 7002 Email: timetoact@thecoachinginstitute.com.au Website: www.thecoachinginstitute.com.au

SUCCESS IN YOU Self Love

Edition 1 | Version 1 | March 2017 Published by The Coaching Institute Copyright 2016 © The Coaching Institute All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, mechanical or electronic, including photocopying and recording, or by information storage and retrieval system without permission in writing from the publisher. In some instances, people or companies portrayed in this book are illustrative examples based on the author’s experiences, but they are not intended to represent a particular person or organisation.

Speak with one of our Course Consultant on 1800 094 927 to get advice on whether coaching could be the right path for you. LEARN MORE ABOUT BECOMING A SUCCESSFUL COACH:

REGISTER FOR YOUR COMPLIMENTARY ‘GETTING STARTED AS A LIFE COACH’ GIFT PACK VALUED AT $197 www.thecoachinginstitute.com.au/gift ACCESS FREE COACHING CONTENT & RESOURCES: www.thecoachinginstitute.com.au/resources EXPLORE COACHING COURSES & ACCREDITATIONS www.thecoachinginstitute.com.au/courses