DL Attitude, Beliefs and Emotional Aptitude Manual by The Coaching Institute

ATTITUDES, BELIEFS AND EMOTIONAL APTITUDE

Attitudes, Beliefs and Emotional Aptitude Keeping in mind that everything we’re discussing in this module is to learn how to bring to life the environment. How do we create a context in which the content will flourish and thrive? How to we maintain a context where innovations and creativity are encouraged? How do we ensure that we have an organisation where the high performers are welcomed, and know they are in the right place? Good people won’t appreciate this as much. Great people will. So far we’ve discussed the environment as an overall concept. We then looked at the vision, mission and values. Now we look at other qualitative dimensions to the environment, which are the attitudes, beliefs and the emotional aptitude of the team and its leadership.

Attitude Attitude is, in terms of environment, the approach people have to what is being done, what needs to be done, what isn’t being done and what could be done. It’s the question: ‘How does that person approach a new task?’ With enthusiasm? With doubt? With resistance? With gossip? With care? With caution? With a get-on-with-it attitude? The littlest indicators tell us so much about people. When something needs to be done, and it’s not that pleasant a task, who does it and what’s their attitude towards it? This reveals so much. What about when there is enormous pressure coming in from an outside source that they can’t control and influence? How do they respond? Do they complain? Do they hope it will pass? Do they hope they won’t have to do anything? Do they ask if they can help, but not really mean it? Do they ask if they can help? Do they find out how they can help and then do it? Do they find out how they can help, do it, and get others to help also? The attitude we have during the good times is predictable, but not a predictor of attitudes during the tough times. I remember a (short) interview with someone, once. It was for a senior role, and I asked why they were leaving their current role. Their response was something like this: They used to be fun, when they were doing well. Then they had a couple of setbacks, and they cut back some staff because the money got tight. It stopped being fun. It’s more like hard work, now. Some people will read this and think: What’s wrong with that? Let me have a go at responding… ;) As a leader, I must know I can rely on the people around me through all kinds of weather, including the storms. When it’s sunny, everyone is out on deck. When the winds come up, some people complain, some head downstairs to wait it out, and some people set the sails and get busy. And when the storm hits, whose left on deck are the people who are going to save lives. If you’re not on deck in the storm, then, you can get off my deck when it gets sunny.

I’ve tried every combination of compromise I can around this, and it just does not work. If the person isn’t there when you need them the first time, they sure as s… will not be there the next. And you’ve told the team they don’t have to be there. All kinds of wrong. Attitude is the quality of approach to anything that needs doing. The attitude you’re looking for is:  Proactive  Initiative  Enthusiasm  Willingness  Can-do  Tenacious  Disciplined  Never need reminding  Tells it like it is  Sees it as it is, not worse or better than it is  Holds up the standards when you’re not there  Expects others to hold up the standards  Uncompromising

Beliefs Beliefs are what we think is true, about ourselves, our colleagues, our team, our organisation, the market, people and life in general. Some people believe they’d rather have everyone like them, than have results. They’re not going to be a great leader. Some people believe that results must come and that do this everyone is needed and valued. Some people believe working after a certain time is ‘overtime’ and won’t do it unless paid for every minute. Some people believe that a great day is completing what’s started and won’t leave until it’s done. Some people believe that the only way to succeed is to step on other people. Some people believe that the only way to succeed is with and through other great people. Some people believe that a great day is one of collaboration and talking, rather than delivering. Some people believe that a great day is delivering, rather than talking and collaborating. There are 1,000’s of beliefs for any situation. And all of them will shape and determine how successful your culture, and your organisation can become. I remember a while back hiring someone we thought would be a great fit for us (I’m allowed three mistakes a year, and this one was so big it counted as three mistakes, as agreed by all team members ). They began by pointing out what we did wrong. Then they moved onto trying to introduce systems where we didn’t need them. Then they moved onto encouraging morning and afternoon tea breaks, lunch breaks, going home early, taking time off if you did extra work at the end of the day, and letting people know they were overworked by me. You may already see where this is going. We do the hours we want to do. We’re built like that. No one makes us stay back after mere mortals leave. And what we do in hours is nothing compared to the truly phenomenal teams – there were days when the Apple designers went all night and did seven days a week… for weeks, to get the design perfect.

It wasn’t about ‘fairness’, or ‘equity’, or ‘abuse of power’ or any of that (all of which she accused me of). The teams were doing what they wanted. After a while, they stopped doing it. So productivity went down. So more people got hired to fill the drops in results. She hired people who filled seats, and produced nothing. Every deadline and benchmark was missed. I stepped back into the business and within three weeks had managed 17 people out of our company. Nearly all of them complained about me and ‘my ways’ as they went. How could they do anything else? THEIR BELIEFS:  Work is 9-5 and that’s it  If it’s hard, don’t expect too much of me  You can’t expect too much of me  This is just a job  If I’m not told about something, don’t expect me to figure it out  If I’ve only been doing something a short time, you can’t expect anything of me  I don’t like pressure  I will decide what pressure is and push back  No one can be the boss of me unless I like it  It’s more about being liked/good looking/egotistical than about results  No one knows my troubles and if you did you wouldn’t ask anything of me  Feedback is criticism and you’re a bully  You’re a bully if you ask me to do something I don’t know to do, even if you show me how to do it  No one understands me and everyone asks too much of me You hire monkeys, expect the place to go bananas. So, as I encouraged these people to move on, I began (re)installing my beliefs, that lead to a great culture, great results, high-performing teams and everyone feeling awesome about what they do. The beliefs I seek have proven again and again to lead to results. And they’re way more fun to have than the beliefs I’ve listed above.

And I know that there are companies out there filled to the brim with people who harbour the beliefs I’ve just listed. I just know it’s not the type of beliefs that attract the best people, so we wouldn’t get the best delivery, so we wouldn’t attract the best clients, so we wouldn’t have the best business, so we wouldn’t drive the best results… and so on. BELIEFS THAT TEND TO GET GREAT RESULTS AND BUILD A GREAT CULTURE THAT ATTRACTS THE BEST PEOPLE:  There’s always a way  There’s always a better way  If it’s going to happen, it’s up to me  I am responsible for this and I love it  You can count on me  When the going gets tough, I turn up ready to get it sorted  When the going gets tough, I have to set the example of excellence for everyone else  No one makes me have a bad day, I do that all on my own  I am here to be the best I can be  I love success Whatever your beliefs (and you can have any belief you want, obviously) you are shaping the culture around you. If you constantly share how hard everything is, you’re going to have an impact. If you constantly share how you’re making progress, that too will have an impact. We are always projecting our beliefs onto the world around us. As leaders, it’s up to us to ensure we project the very best beliefs that enable those around us to become the best version of themselves they can become.

Emotional Aptitude This is an interesting one. We all have emotions. We all have lots of emotions. Some of us feel it’s our ‘right’ to express them, wherever and to whomever we choose. Others believe that there is a time and a place for expressing how we feel. Some just never express emotion. And there is every shade of emotion and expression of emotion in between this. The person who (1) manages their emotions, (2) expresses appropriate emotions, (3) remains calm under pressure, is generally the person to rely on when it comes to stressful moments. If people are not encouraged to respond this way, when the pressure is on, people respond anyway they want to, which leads to people having to spend time managing people’s emotions, rather than the crisis. APPROPRIATE EMOTIONS FOR A GREAT CULTURE:  Focus  Calm  Calm pleasure  Enthusiasm for others  Enthusiasm for a project  Enthusiasm for progress  Consistency of moods WHAT TENDS TO DETRACT FROM A GREAT CULTURE:  Cynical expressions of disbelief  Defeat  Lack of energy  Apathy  Stand off-ish in moments of triumph  Disapproving looks when people are spontaneous  Grouchy or moody  Inconsistent moods  Blow ups or flare ups of anger  Judgemental attitude and feelings of ill-will  Hostility directed at someone or something  Sulking

I’m sure these lists are not surprising to you. It would maybe surprise you how many people don’t give feedback to team members when they behave in a way that is hostile or inappropriate to a functional team. Just on a side note – just because someone sounds reasonable, doesn’t make them reasonable! I had someone on a team once who used the calmest tone you could ever imagine – as they pointed out all my flaws. As they were doing this, sales were declining, and in this person’s view, the whole team should get a 50% pay rise immediately because they ‘try so hard’. Their tone, as I said, was so reasonable. I did keep a straight face. I did not, which you may find surprising, give them any feedback. When someone has assembled a set of attitudes, beliefs and emotions that are so contrary to what actually gets results, there is little point. The idea is to begin to notice what emotions tend to be most appropriate for the situation and the team. I appear more enthusiastic with our sales team than I am with our finance team. I feel as enthusiastic, I just tone it down with the quieter members of our team. I am intense when the time calls for it, then ease off. If I’ve been intense and given feedback to someone, I act as if nothing has happened once the feedback is delivered. I don’t use my attitude or emotions to communicate ongoing disapproval. They know where they stand, and I move on. It’s interesting how this topic has so much grey! I know that our team love how we have how we have things, if that makes sense. I also know there are some people who would tell you that I am too hard on people, it’s a culture of ‘bullying’ and it’s not fair. They believe I’m too hard because what they expect of themselves and others differs (by a large margin) from what we expect of ourselves and each other. They think it’s a ‘bullying’ culture because of the unapologetically relentless pursuit of results, always.

They think it’s not fair, because they didn’t meet these standards, and more significantly, didn’t value them. We’re not changing. We love how we are and how we ride. It’s worth reading the section on Standards and Expectations, too.

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SHARON PEARSON Disruptive Leadership Module 1 – Attitudes, Beliefs and Emotional Aptitude Edition 1 | Version 4 | December 16 Published by The Coaching Institute Copyright 2016 © The Coaching Institute All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, mechanical or electronic, including photocopying and recording, or by information storage and retrieval system without permission in writing from the publisher. In some instances, people or companies portrayed in this book are illustrative examples based on the author’s experiences, but they are not intended to represent a particular person or organisation.

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