Design your life 1 boundary conditions

DESIGN YOUR LIFE GIFT #1 OF 10

WE ARE STRONGER FOR KNOWING EACH OTHER

BRAVER BECAUSE WE

TRUST EACH OTHER

WISER THAN WHEN WEâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;RE ALONE

1

DESIGN YOUR LIFE GIFT #1 OF 10

SUCCESS PRINCIPLES OF COACHING In coaching, as in all things in life, there are concepts – principles – that when adopted enable us to experience better results than if we’re without them. At the Foundations of Coaching Success Training, you get a chance to go through these principles thoroughly – they are important foundation principles upon which other concepts can be built.

SUCCESS PRINCIPLE NO. 1 BOUNDARY CONDITIONS OF THINKING

EVERYTHING WE DO AS A COACH IS MOVE OUR CLIENTS BEYOND THE BOUNDARY CONDITIONS OF THEIR THINKING.

What are “boundary conditions”? Our boundary conditions are the conscious limits of our thinking – the edge of our known world. Another way to look at it is it’s the edge of our comfort zone, or the edge of what is familiar. Coaching is about finding ways to assist our clients to go beyond these limits. It is only beyond what we know that we will be able to find what we don’t know. Sounds obvious, but think about it. Every result we get in our lives is based on what we know. We know how to make $50,000 a year. We know how to have good relationships with three or four friends. If we knew how to make $150,000 a year we would do that. If we knew how to have close, loving and outstanding relationships with 10 close friends, we would create that too. WE DON’T BECAUSE IT IS OUTSIDE WHAT WE KNOW. IT IS OUTSIDE OUR BOUNDARY CONDITIONS. To create transformation in any area of our life, then, involves us finding ways to go beyond what we know, to what is unknown. It is only in the unknown that the transformation we desire is available. We must go beyond the boundary conditions of our thinking.

2

DESIGN YOUR LIFE GIFT #1 OF 10

If you look at the pictures on the next page, notice that the possibilities lie outside of your comfort zone. Now imagine that one of those dots represents a problem. It seems bigger and perhaps unmanageable because it is beyond our boundary conditions. We can’t move the problem into our comfort zone to make it manageable. We must expand our thinking – our boundary conditions – so that what was outside of our realm of possibilities is now inside them. Once we accomplish this, the problem is now inside our comfort zone, and manageable.

Boundary Conditions of our thinking

Possibilities

X X

X

Boundary Conditions of our thinking

X Possibilities

X

How to move the boundary conditions of our thinking: Expanding our thoughts beyond the boundary conditions of our thinking is about:  Being self-aware of when we are using old thinking to deal with new and unfamiliar situations.  Asking different questions that focus less on the problem and more on what we need to learn to be able to manage it.  Learning that courage can only come through action, it does not arrive by mail or just turn up one day… we must act.  Recognising that fear is normal, and that waiting for fear to disappear is waiting for the impossible… the fear is always there… but so is courage, and when we act, we feel courage.

3

DESIGN YOUR LIFE GIFT #1 OF 10

Coaching to go beyond the boundary conditions:  Be aware if your client is using old, un-resourceful thinking for a problem or situation.  Assist your client to become aware of this too.  Ask your client questions that will stretch their thinking… ideally you go two levels beyond their thinking.

How to go two levels beyond the boundary conditions: A boundary condition is easy to recognise. It’s when a client says “I don’t know…” or seems to be confused. This is the time to get excited, because confusion is always followed by a new level of understanding… a new level of boundary condition. Allow your client to say “I don’t know…” or whatever their language is, then ask them, “If you did know…” or “What are the possibilities here?” or “What is the gift in this for you?” or “How can we turn this around?” Once they’ve answered the question in a way that works for them, ask another question where their answer is, “I don’t know…” and do the same thing. You want your client to reach “I don’t know…” Because it is only in the realm of what we don’t know that the magic is. If you ask the client a question and they go blank, it is a great sign. It indicates that the client has reached the boundary conditions of their thinking – they are blank because they have entered new territory. A client going blank is a breakthrough. Never let the client off the hook when they say they don’t know or that they can’t think. Keep asking the same question or rephrasing the question. Consider asking, “…and if you did know, what would it be?”

Other great questions to get the clients thinking in this manner are:  “What else?”  “What else?”  “What else?”  “What else?”

4

DESIGN YOUR LIFE GIFT #1 OF 10

NOTES:

5

DESIGN YOUR LIFE GIFT #1 OF 10

THE COACHING INSTITUTE Suite 40, 37-39 Albert Road, Melbourne, VIC 3004, Australia. Phone: 1800 094 927 Fax: +61 3 9645 7002 Email: wow@thecoachinginstitute.com.au Website: www.thecoachinginstitute.com.au

MATT LAVARS Become A Successful Coach & Design Your Life On Your Terms in 2017

Edition 1 | Version 1 | 05 January 2017 Published by The Coaching Institute

Copyright 2017 © The Coaching Institute All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, mechanical or electronic, including photocopying and recording, or by information storage and retrieval system without permission in writing from the publisher. In some instances, people or companies portrayed in this book are illustrative examples based on the author’s experiences, but they are not intended to represent a particular person or organisation.

Connect with WOW Team today on 1800 094 927 to get advice on whether coaching could be the right career pathway for you.

LEARN MORE ABOUT BECOMING A SUCCESSFUL COACH:

REGISTER FOR YOUR COMPLIMENTARY ‘GETTING STARTED AS A LIFE COACH’ GIFT PACK VALUED AT $197 www.thecoachinginstitute.com.au/gift

ACCESS FREE COACHING CONTENT & RESOURCES www.thecoachinginstitute.com.au/resources

EXPLORE COACHING COURSES & ACCREDITATIONS www.thecoachinginstitute.com.au/courses

6

DESIGN YOUR LIFE GIFT #1 OF 10

7

Turn static files into dynamic content formats.

Create a flipbook