AUGUST 2014 / SEPTEMBER 2014
THE
Successful Coach MAGAZINE
KEVIN GAMMIE, 8
Break
FROM THE HERD WITH THOUGHT DYNAMICS ROS WEADMAN, 11
NATASHA WILLIAMS, 4
SIA KAPELERIS, 20
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Natasha Willians 4 TIME FOR A CHANGE
Kevin Gammie 8 BREAK FROM THE HERD WITH THOUGHT DYNAMICS
Ros Weadman 11 THE SUCCESSFUL COACH
Akron Garkos 15
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THE SUCCESSFUL COACH
Cameron Davine 16 THIN JUDGEMENT REEVALUATE YOUR BELIEFS ABOUT WEIGHT IN 4 EASY STEPS
Sia Kapeleris 20
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Rapport
WRITTEN BY
NATASHA WILLIAMS Master Coach and Mastermind Mentor at TCI
AS COACHES WE TOTALLY GET THE IMPORTANCE OF BUILDING RAPPORT WITH OUR CLIENT BEFORE THE SESSION STARTS. I’M GOING TO TAKE IT AS A GIVEN BECAUSE LET’S FACE IT, THEY’VE AGREED TO BE YOUR CLIENT RIGHT? WHO WOULD INVEST TO SHARE THE MOST INTIMATE INSIGHTS INTO THEIR SOUL IF THERE WASN’T TRUST?
Let’s have a play with the person you haven’t even spoken with yet. Someone’s expressed an interest on line, or somehow you’ve got their details and you know absolutely nothing about them and you’re about to pick up the phone.
SPOT CHECK, HOW DO YOU FEEL RIGHT NOW? Heart beat picking up a bit? Is your stomach starting to flutter? You can be honest, who’s out there having a holy f#ck moment? Chanting to themselves “say yes and work out how, say yes and work out how...” Yes, I’ve been there. When I started in the corporate world (ok, we’re going back a bit) my father told me to call the preeminent reporter in my industry, not only to promote my product, but pitch to him! After two days of running a REALLY successful procrastination strategy, with enough
nagging from my dad, I took a deep breath, told myself he’s so famous there’s no way he’ll answer, I’ll leave a message, never hear from him but I can say I gave it a go. Well I’ll be… he answered after two rings. I ridiculously bumbled first couple of minutes. He was still on the line. And then the penny dropped, wow, he’s actually human! That sounds pretty obvious, but I see people forget this all the time! He gets up in the morning, probably scratches his bum as he pours his coffee and wonders what the day will bring. When I forgot he was a hot shot reporter and relaxed, we had an awesome chat for 20 minutes. Did I get the sale? No, don’t know if I even asked. But I connected with him as a human, my first experience of rapport at work. The fact that I then got drilled by the CEO and Vice CEO for 30 minutes on every word I said page 4
because we’re not supposed to speak to the media, well that’s another holy f#ck moment for another day. The most valuable lesson was I didn’t burst into flames. No one jumped out from behind a screen to say “Dang you totally sucked, never do that again!” Instead I learnt one of my most defining lessons ever.
People aren’t thinking about how nervous you are, how inexperienced you may or may not be. They’re thinking who is this person, why are they calling and can I trust them? SIMPLE AS THAT.
So if you don’t know who you are, why you’re calling is important to the prospect with absolute conviction, don’t call. Seriously, don’t call til you do. I can pick up the phone with 100% volition to anyone because I believe I can serve them and make a difference in their life. And hey, it happens, if they’re happy where they’re at and It turns out they don’t need my help I’m just as happy they’re ok for now. We connected and maybe they’ll need me in the future. That impression is just as absolutely important to my brand as anyone who says yes.
Over a year ago I met a prospect, they already had a preferred fund under an award and were too set to consider changing. Respectfully I acknowledged that, explained how I can help his staff if they ever need, shook his hand gratefully and thought that was that. Just last month I got a call from a person who used to work for him wanting to make a large additional contribution before 30 June. He said how highly he’d recommended me and how grateful he was to have my help.
IT WAS A BEAUTIFUL REMINDER, ALWAYS GIVE A SH!T (MY VERY CORPORATE TERMINOLOGY) IRRESPECTIVE OF WHETHER YOU CAN DO BUSINESS TOGETHER. So now when I pick up the phone yes, the heart rate picks up, I feel the butterflies in my stomach absolutely. With total curiosity and fascination at what’s the story behind the person I’m about to connect with. How exciting that I may be the call they’ve been waiting for to provide the solution that they’ve kept throwing in the too hard basket. Whether it’s the first call of the day or the fiftieth, every time. I love it! My biggest tip can’t really be taught, you need to really dig people in all their weird and wonderful ways. Feel deep in your whole entire being “With passionate volition I give a sh!t about this person and I’m fascinated in exploring how I can serve them. “
page 5
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Time FOR A
WRITTEN BY
KEVIN GAMMIE
Meta Dynamics Profiler and Thought Dynamics Consultant
Change
HOW META DYNAMICS CHANGED MY BUSINESS AND MY LIFE
MID 2012 THINGS HAD TO CHANGE. THE WORLD HAD CHANGED SINCE THE GFC AND BUSINESS OPERATED DIFFERENTLY. THE CHALLENGE WAS NOBODY HAD THE HANDBOOK... All the advice was to strip out the costs, be lean, be smarter, start looking at social media… What? Facebook and business? Are you kidding me. As for other forms of social media they were not really advanced at this stage. LinkedIn was still in its early phases and who knew what to do with that anyway…
of Brisbane and a multi divisional service offering. Turnover was as high as $3,500,000 and life was exceptionally comfortable. The staff weren’t performing but maybe I had the wrong staff, or so I thought.
WAS 13 YEARS OLD AND
Then the GFC hit, at first it was believed to be a short term issue and we’d bounce in a couple of months. Try and hang on to the good staff. If not you’ll have nobody to help rebuild. 6 months later still with 9 staff, we were making heavy losses each month and we realised there was no end in sight. There was no magic bounce.
OVER THE LAST 3 YEARS WE’D
We’d accumulated heavy losses.
HI, I’M KEVIN GAMMIE, I WAS 45 AT THE TIME, MY RECRUITMENT BUSINESS
STRUGGLED. Pre GFC, we’d done OK, it could have been better if I was a better leader but more of that later. We had at the height 15 staff, a 350m2 office in Queen St mall in the heart
Heck, our rent was costing us $16,500 per month. It was early 2010 and we’d sustained losses of in excess of $250k last financial year and were not looking like breaking even again. We bit the bullet and let all the staff go.
page 8
My fellow Director and I would have to rebuild this business alone…. With an office of 350m2 in the heart of the city that nobody wanted, particularly not at our current rent. So we set about with all the changes we needed, cutting costs to the minimum, taking drastic salary cuts and working our way out of the challenge… The problem was, that we were just doing the same thing and expecting a different result. +At this stage, I’d not heard of ESIP or creating the right environment. We had a simple mission, to stubbornly rebuild our way out of the mess. We owe the Government $250k+, the banks another $75k and I had around $60k on credit cards. The pressure was high. One thing we did right was to establish some standards, although we didn’t realise that at the time. They were basic… but they were standards. They were as simple as this…
So coming back to mid 2012, I’d had enough. Still working with just my fellow Director and myself we’d managed to hold our head above water, we’d managed not to go broke, we’d become great a juggling our cash-flow (and negotiating with the ATO).
I’D HIT ROCK BOTTOM, WAS EXHAUSTED AND FELT LIKE A
Our Mission: “WE’RE NOT HERE TO F**K SPIDERS”
Standards: “I’VE GOT YOUR BACK…”
That was our environment. A complete moving away strategy, and the most basic survival standard we could think of. These were dark days, stress was high and we worked our bums off.
COMPLETE FAILURE. It was at this time that I was thinking of seeing a former colleague (competitor actually) who had gone into coaching 12 years earlier. Strangely I bumped into him. We organised to catch-up and have a chat about organising some coaching. I didn’t realise it at the time but I was on interview. When he asked me to sum up my situation I replied quite honestly…
“I think the recruitment model is broken, I’ve no answer for it… I believe my current partnership model is broken… and… to be honest I think I’m broken” page 9
HE AGREED TO TAKE ME ON.
To be honest they were things that needed to be done but we were working with ‘systems designed for 15-20 people with only 2 of us working. It was cumbersome and clunky to say the least.
YET I WAS STILL A LONG WAY FROM FINDING OUT ABOUT META DYNAMICS.
There was no talk of Vision, Purpose, or Values, no mention of Benchmarks.
WE PATIENTLY WORKED ON FIXING THINGS… Me first, I regained a sense of who I was and realised that I had an option to actually leave the business. This was the first time I realised that since starting it in 1999. I agreed to do some work on the business with him. We looked at what needed to be done, at the time we focussed on what we were doing and things that needed to be done. As we worked through the list, the list seemed to be getting longer. We didn’t seem to make any inroads, but more time was being taken in maintaining our ever growing list of things to do.
There was little talk of Structures, and systems.
All of the focus was on what we were doing, or not doing. There were some projects like websites and implementing better systems eventually.
We didn’t even get to ask if we had the right people on the bus…
TO BE CONTINUED…
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Break from the herd with WRITTEN BY
ROS WEADMAN
Credentialed Master Coach
THOUGHT DYNAMICS IN THE CHINESE ZODIAC YEAR OF THE HORSE - 2014 - I DECIDED TO BECOME A UNICORN. HERE’S WHY...
The horse is beautifully dichotomous - it is majestic, strong and free-spirited yet affectionate, playful and sensitive, the latter characteristic central to its basic instinct for survival as a herd animal.
As principal of a public relations and marketing agency, I was searching for “that special something” that would help make my business zig while the others keep zagging. Enter the unicorn, aka Thought Dynamics.
In business, you can be part of the herd - just another choice in a long line of similar products or you can differentiate yourself so that you become the product of choice in a cluttered and noisy market place.
As on www.thoughtdynamics.com.au, “Thought Dynamics is a revolutionary approach to success, leadership and business challenges” At the core of the approach is the Thought Dynamics Diagnostic Tool and consulting program, both underpinned by the ESIP (Environment, Structure, Implementation, People) thinking model.
page 11
Quite simply, Thought Dynamics is developing the best world’s best brand in coaching and consulting methodology. “Well, you’d want to be part of that, wouldn’t you?”, I said to myself at the Meta Dynamics Level I training in June, just over a month ago. I was booked to deliver a series of training programs for volunteer-based, community groups and organisations in July. While the training course was already set, I challenged myself to apply the ESIP thinking model to my public relations and marketing system so I could start using the language and practise asking quality questions based on the four areas of E, S, I and P.
FEEDBACK FROM THE TRAINING WAS THE BEST I HAVE EVER RECEIVED AND WAS, INDEED, TRANSFORMATIVE FOR A NUMBER OF THE PARTICIPANTS.
Rather than launching into a situation analysis to determine what the organisation currently does well, what it could do better, how it compares to competitors, what its clients / members think and what opportunities could be capitalised upon, we began the training with each participant reflecting upon the culture of their organisation. After all, an organisation’s culture - including its vision, mission and values - will to a large extent determine whether or not people will want to become a member, volunteer or attend its programs.
“And I thought our purpose was to manage weeds in local bushland reserves”, the president of a land management group exclaimed. “Now I believe our purpose is to work together to create a healthy and thriving environment now and for future generations to enjoy”.
page 12
This revelation was profound on two levels.
So, with a pioneering spirit, I feel privileged to be on the ground floor of Thought Dynamics, the champion of the ESIP model.
First, for the participant, their way of thinking had shifted from below the line (Implementation level) to above the line (Environment level). Second, for me, I clearly observed the power of ESIP in adding so much more value to my training program.
IT WAS THEN MY “UNICORNIFICATION” BEGAN... ESIP is no mythical construct yet it’s power is as undeniable as the unicorn’s. For me, it is the ease with which ESIP can be applied to existing systems and processes (it is logical and sequential), it is the applicability of ESIP to both individuals and organisations, and it is the adaptability of ESIP to a myriad of situations.
The Thought Dynamics community is amazingly supportive, dedicated to the highest standards and has an open culture of sharing knowledge, experience and resources so that everyone benefits and grows. Of course, as the law of cause and effect applies, there is no doubting that what you put into Thought Dynamics is exactly what you will get out of it. The choice is yours. And what an exciting choice it is! Thought Dynamics IS destined to become the world’s best brand in coaching and consulting methodology.
In the five weeks since my first exposure to ESIP, I have applied it to many facets of my personal and professional life including: • • • • • • • • • • • • •
IN TIME, JUST AS WE SAY, “I GOOGLED IT”, I BELIEVE WE WILL BE SAYING “I ESIPD IT!”.
Language and conversation Coaching Mentoring Decision-making Training delivery Meeting facilitation Business proposals Funding submissions Project management Team development Budgeting Time management Learning
...And the list goes on. page 13
THOUGHT
DYNAMICS PROVIDING AN
APPROACH TO
BUSINESS AND LEADERSHIP SUCCESS
WITH A WORLD-CLASS
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THE
Successful Coach
AKREN GARKOS Credentialed Master Practitioner of Coaching
I STARTED THIS JOURNEY AS THE BIGGEST PROCRASTINATOR.
every day doing the thing I love: working with people to maximise their success. I’m gaining valuable experience that I can translate directly into my coaching.
Believe it or not, I spent five years looking at The Coaching Institute’s website, without ever taking action. I went through a succession of jobs.
My number one piece of advice is to apply the knowledge. Allow yourself to be flexible in what you learn. Listen to your gut: your instincts are always right. This whole journey is a learning curve. Embrace it.
I had a fascination with human behaviour. I loved working with people – and then I found TCI. The turning point in my coaching journey was moving to Melbourne and studying neuro-linguistic programing (now Meta Dynamics). This program truly took my coaching to the next level. I also attended How to Run a Successful Workshop training – which, while a stretch, totally changed the course of my life.
The Coaching Institute nurtures and supports me in a judgement-free environment. They’re going to hold you accountable and responsible for my learning – I always know it. Their willingness to point me in the right direction, and their openness in their knowledge is incredible.
FROM HERE, I CAN ONLY GROW. I’M
Now, thanks to the TCI path, I have been able to break into an industry I have spent years trying to enter, and I have a job which I love and am passionate about. I get to spend
INNOVATING. I’M BUILDING NEW PRODUCTS AND SERVICES FOR MY CLIENTS. IT’S JUST AWESOME.
page 15
THE
Successful Coach
CAMERON DAVINE Credentialed Master Practitioner of Coaching
IN THE BEGINNING I REALLY
My 2 daughters where growing up with empty love tanks and they where in need of some serious attention.
QUESTIONED WHETHER OR NOT THIS WOULD WORK FOR
It was easy for me to hide… for alcohol supresses a lot of feelings that need to be uncovered, it nullifies all your stress, frustrations and fears. Clearly reducing my potential to be truly happy.
ME. I completed my first coaching training in August 2013, the only reason I was there was because I wanted more from life and myself.
Our children have no escape from life’s moments that challenge us to grow and I had nothing to help as my wife and I were doing the best we could with what we knew at the time.
I was stuck… from the an outsider looking in everything looked great, on the inside nothing made sense. I had just sold my business as it consumed every piece of my life. Sacrifices were made on my family, my wife and I were in a marry of business and our relationship was a business transaction. I loved my business and worked hard for the success that I had. I know now, thanks to my coaching learnings that business success was not inline with my values and cause much pain internally.
ENTER COACHING... The greatest tool I learnt was the power of question and curiosity. For when I heard Joe Pane say “… well if you did know what would it be?” I started thinking differently and applied this one question in my life and the result = answers.
page 16
I was one of those people… never read, I had never written anything, I would rather be dead then speak in front of an audience and always thought twice about going somewhere new.
SINCE MY FIRST TRAINING I HAVE READ 8 BOOKS IN 12 MONTHS COMPARED TO 1 IN 37 YEARS.
At the moment I am working on taking myself out of my comfort zone as I have learnt over the past 6 months this is where all my results have come from. Just by saying yes and working out how later. My light bulb moment was at Toastmasters, first visit and I was asked if I would like to participate, I said Yes… (thanks Owen) and guess what? I won best speech in my group for that night… all because I said YES.
A must read for your coaching journey, all 512 pages is “Awaken The Gaint Within” by Anthony Robbins.
My plan for the future is to grow my brand and coaching experiences, to learn even more through TCI and other avenues, and I will now start to develop products to assist others in reaching their true potential.
I have written 6 articles, finished my Knowledge Papers, started at Toastmaster public speaking, attended almost every ‘Coach & Connect’ session at TCI’s (you rock Angelina), I have taken my learnings to my Basketball coaching and my life in general.
It is the team at TCI and the community that has supported and guided my through this journey so far. The support of my family has been my door to this opportunity and those to come.
The greatest challenge is maintaining focus and the answer to being able to do this is establishing your why, why are you on this journey? What drives you to learn more? I have recreated my why 4 times in the last 12 months, when I thought it was enough, it wasn’t. I am passionate about showing my family and others around the world how to live a happy and fulfilled life by living one myself, for I cannot ask others to celebrate success and happiness if I have not lived it myself, LIVE BY EXAMPLE.
MY BUSINESS IS CALLED “COACHING WITHOUT LIMITS” AS I KNOW NOTHING HAS A LIMIT EXPECT THE LIMITS WE PLACE ON THEM.
“SOME PEOPLE WANT IT TO HAPPEN, SOME WISH IT WOULD HAPPEN, OTHERS MAKE IT HAPPEN” MICHAEL JORDAN page 17
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4 WRITTEN BY
SIA KAPELERIS
Credentialed Master Coach
Thin Judgement REEVALUATE YOUR BELIEFS ABOUT WEIGHT IN
EASY STEPS
I HAVE BEEN A DIETER FOR
THE NUMBERS IN BETWEEN.
I expect by now you’re reading this and saying “Yep. Yep, that’s me, alright”. So what can I tell you now that’s going to blow you away? Is it some magical methodology? A new pill or potion that I have found that works? Well, sorry, but NO!
I have tried shakes, soups, biscuits, low carbs, no carbs, pills, vegetarian, gyms, pole dancing, belly dancing, personal training and a few traditional diet companies as well.
What I’m going to tell you is how I have nearly arrived at my ideal weight for my age and height, have never been happier and am diet free. Sceptical? I’m sure you are.
The results over the years have been varied, based on my age, enthusiasm and motivation. There was never one particular methodology that worked indefinitely. The weight I had lost would stay off anywhere between three months to eighteen months. Then, slowly, I gained it all back; and at times even more.
My journey this time on the diet wheel began 6 months ago. I was low; so low that each morning there was trepidation of what bad news the scales had for me, and looking in the mirror all I saw and felt was disgust. I knew I had to go on a diet “again” to get the weight off.
THIRTY-TWO YEARS; FROM SIZE EIGHT TO EIGHTEEN, AND ALL
page 20
I went to my GP and saw a dietician this time, as I felt I wanted to try a different avenue. My results were a plain understanding that for my age (47) and height (167cm), my weight range should/could be between 60 - 69 kilograms. I was advised by the dietician not to try and achieve a weight that I had been in my twenties or thirties as it would be very difficult to maintain.
SO STEP 1 IS TO GET A TRUE EVALUATION FROM AN EXPERT
board stomach’ cousins and friends. My belief definitely stemmed from that eight year old me struggling to be thin like my peers. So why hadn’t the eight year old me grabbed that puppy fat, given it a good shake, and moved forward to get thin? I dug deeper and found some more belief I had told myself over the years.
I believed; Thin people were judgemental.
AS TO WHAT IS AN ACHIEVABLE
Thin people were popular.
WEIGHT FOR YOU TO MAINTAIN,
Thin people disliked fat people.
AND APPROPRIATE FOR YOUR Where did these beliefs come from?
AGE AND HEIGHT. After this I decided to dig deep inside myself and find out what beliefs I had about weight and how these beliefs served me. I started to write down all the beliefs I had about what being ‘thin’ meant to me.
I recall from eight to twelve years of age that the older, robust female members of our family were criticised and judged by their thinner counterparts, and the same followed with the younger generation. As I was plump, I had little to no self-esteem and therefore felt I could never be ‘popular’. It was at this moment that I looked at both lists and realised they didn’t, and would never, match.
If I’m thin, I’ll be happy. If I’m thin, I can wear what I want. If I’m thin, I can eat what I want.
The first list held beliefs of an idealism of what I thought my life would be like if I was thin. Then the second list held my beliefs of how thin people acted, and I held this true due to my life experiences from the thin people I knew.
If I’m thin, life will be easy.
When and how had I made up these beliefs, and more importantly, why hadn’t I achieved them if I believed all those fabulous things? I had been a plump child in a family of ‘wash
The eight to twelve year old me didn’t want to be anything on that second list. I didn’t want to judge or criticize anyone, as I already did it
page 21
to myself, and I didn’t want to dislike anyone. As for being ‘popular’, how could I be that with the little self-esteem I had? So I realised I had set myself up for failure from the very start all those years ago, with these conflicting lists. These lists formed by the eight to twelve year old me were so obsolete it was embarrassing.
My next step was easy, and the solution was crystal clear! Wipe the screen of my mind of both those lists, and get some new, fabulous, empowering beliefs. Beliefs that will serve, support, nurture and challenge me to become the person I want to be right NOW, at this age. These are my new amazing beliefs;
STEP 2 IS TO LOOK FOR OLD BELIEFS ABOUT DIETING. HOW DID THEY FORM? WHAT ARE YOU HOLDING ONTO THAT HASN’T WORKED? LOOK DEEP AND DISCOVER WHAT’S HIDDEN UNDER THOSE YEARS OF FIGHTING THE BULGE.
I can exercise 5-6 days a week I can wear any clothes I like. I can eat anything in moderation. I am happy. I am confident. I am focused. I am powerful.
page 22
STEP 3 IS TO CREATE
You’re best to learn what your ‘weak’ point is ASAP, so overindulging can be kept to a minimum.
SOME NEW, AMAZING AND EMPOWERING BELIEFS ABOUT THE LIFESTYLE YOU WANT AND THE PERSON YOU WANT TO BE. I recently read somewhere that we need to think and act like the person we want to become, so that we start creating that reality in our mind from the inside out. I never wanted to be a gym junkie, and therefore I couldn’t imagine that I would or could be that style or type of person. I envisaged myself more of the walker, and dancing with girlfriends on a Saturday night sort of gal. So to think I would ever have that 6 pack was never going to happen. If you envisage that you want to be that person you see doing a seven-kilometre jog at five o’clock in the morning, then you need to start thinking and acting like that person. Dreaming it might happen isn’t going to cut it. I get up most mornings and do a half an hour on my treadmill, with earphones on listening to motivational YouTube clips, or my favourite music. My food portions have become the correct size compared to what I used to serve myself, and I listen to my body when it says “Hey, I’m full”. I still have wine (one or two glasses) a few nights a week, as well as when I’m out with friends for celebrations. I have cheese in moderation, as that’s my ‘weak’ point.
If it’s chocolate, or cakes, or hamburgers, you need to hone in on it, and have a real heart-to-heart with it and tell it like it is. This is what I told cheese and wine; “I’m sorry, but our relationship needs to go casual. No more sleep-overs, nights out, or nights in. I just need some space, and know it will be best for our overall relationship. It’s not you, it’s me!” I literally did this to a piece of cheese and a glass of wine, and it worked. By transforming my thinking and my mindset I have been able to have the happiness I have always searched for. Nothing has meaning except for the meaning we give it; the meaning I had given to trying to be thin or dieting was so wrong, on every level. The meaning I have given to the new lifestyle I have, and the meaning I give that lifestyle, includes so many things that make me happy and are achievable.
STEP 4 IS TO HAVE A NEW RELATIONSHIP WITH FOOD, EXERCISE AND ESPECIALLY WITH YOURSELF. Be kind to yourself. If you were talking to a friend, how kind and gentle would you be? Why not give yourself the same love and attention?
You deserve it.
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