The Siren, Issue 3, Volume XXV

college tribune entertainment supplement 11.10 .11

Juno And The Paycock Review Page 8

What NOT to wear Page 11

The latest trends for men Page 11

How to: smokey eyes Page 12

Trailer Park Boys Interview

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11.10.11

PLAYLIST: THOMAS CULLEN Florence and the Machine - Shake it out Following on from the massive success of her debut album Lungs, Florence faces the difficult task of appeasing her legion of fans. However, she fails to disappoint with her new track ‘Shake It Out’, picking up where she left off with her transcendent voice and powerful choruses. If this song is anything to go by, Florence and the Machine could easily become a worldwide success in the near future.

Tom Waits - Back In the crowd Slow romantic ballads are Tom Wait’s bread and butter, such is the second single released from his upcoming album, Bad As Me. It features some of his trademark growling raw vocals and a slow rhythmic acoustic guitar providing the backing music. Despite his age and having a career that has spanned over four decades, Tom Waits has shown with this track that he is still at the very top of his game.

Bombay Bicycle Club Lights out, Words gone This indie rock group have released an album every summer the past three years without their musical quality declining over successive releases. “Lights out, words gone” is a chilled-out tune that includes some great harmonies from the London quartet. This track further cements the bands position as one of the most likeable young groups in the UK. Noel Gallagher’s High Flying Birds - If I Had a Gun The former chief Oasis songwriter shows a softer, more melodic side to him, in comparison to the previous releases from his debut solo album High Flying Birds. Noel’s airy vocals and catchy lyrics are evident throughout the song, which could help him lay claim to the role of Britain’s best songwriters.

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MUSIC

The Specialist – Baroque Pop LORNA VERDON

B

ach, Handel, Vivaldi… their music may be more Lyric FM than Belfield FM, but their influence has spread further than most would ever realise.

From the royal courts of the 17th century, through the counterculture of the revolutionary 60s, and on to the modern day, the music of the baroque era has been continuously reinvented by some of the most legendary artists for generations.

The baroque revival began in the early 1960s, with rock super-groups like The Beatles and The Beach Boys infusing classical elements with the popular rock ‘n’ roll style of the time. From the sorrowful lyrics and attacking string accompaniment on ‘Eleanor Rigby’ to the eclectic instrumentation which personified the Sgt. Pepper era, the Beatles were one of the earliest advocates of 20th century baroque pop.

The 90s saw a fleeting glimpse of the baroque influence counteract the seemingly endless influx of garage rock and Brit-pop bands. The likes of Tori Amos and Neu-

tral Milk Hotel bucked the trends of the day by experimenting with instrumentation that wouldn’t have been out of place in 17th century symphony halls. For the latter, horns, trombones and organs were all integral to their lo-fi sound, while Amos never failed to pay tribute to her classical influences.

Her eclectic instrumental choices included harpsichords, clavichords and harmoniums, and her accompaniment of choice ranged from gospel choirs to 80-piece orchestras. Never one to shy away from the ostentatious, Amos even rented

out a church to perfect her baroque-tinged melodies and record her 1996 album, Boys for Pele. However, this newly invented 90s art music was often deemed inaccessible to the angst-ridden radio audience of the post-Cobain era, and baroque pop wasn’t truly born again until much more recently.

Since the late 00s, a new emergence of classically-inspired musicians have been putting baroque back on the mainstream airwaves. These modern proponents of classical pop include Chris Garneau, Coeur de Pirate, Beirut and The Decemberists – a

collective of artists who employ the multi-instrumentalism, melodramatic lyrical content and morose concepts which made the baroque era so renowned.

My own introduction to the dark realms of baroque pop came when I heard the melancholic compositions of Chris Garneau, a native Bostonian pianist whose music can inspire the most diverse of thoughts.

A master of escapism, Garneau conjures up images of shadowy, Parisian streets in his tango-inspired “Castle Time”, while his sophomore LP, El Radio, is filled with references to creepy “night clowns”, pirates and encounters with fireflies. Garneau’s perfect evocation of mood and setting is portrayed through his music videos – dark, fairytale-like short stories in which a simple song is transformed into a sweeping soundtrack.

The charmingly Parisian style of Garneau’s music has become a feature of modern baroque pop. From the quaint, accordion-driven melodies of Beirut’s “Mimizan” to the slightly more ob-

Magnum Opus Guided By Voices – Under the Bushes Under the Stars KEITH LEMATTI

A

merica’s unofficial flag bearers of independent rock and roll, Guided By Voices (or GBV, if you feel so inclined to abbreviate), have set the highest of standards for many of the following: Continuously releasing records year by year during their existence; Value for money vinyl (no less than 14 songs per album will do); Evident modern poetic lyrics, and most importantly, humour, to ensure that you don’t endure a full on depressing experience.

Of course, Robert Pollard is the nucleus behind everything that took place in the studio and on the stage during GBV’s reign for 19 glorious, and at times, infamous years. What you see is what you get with Pollard, especially on stage: A (more than likely) drunk former English

teacher, whose on-stage accompaniments include a microphone, it’s stand, and a sick-bucket as close to the mic as possible.

The place was Dayton, Ohio in 1996, when after a string of consistent eradefining albums, Under the Bushes Under the Stars was set loose amongst the packs of ravenous GBV fans, ready to devour, and devour they did. Overshadowed by Alien Lanes, the album that is as close as a GBV album will get to a ‘hit’, Under the Bushes represents the ever evolving mind of a disturbed genius in need of some sort of relief.

This time around, the line up consists of the musicians who should only be known as ‘Guided By Voices’ Finest’: Tobin Sprout, the mystifying multi-instrumentalist behind the construction of the bands’ distinctive lo-tomid-fi sound; Mike Mitchell, creator of rasping Dave Davies-esque sound, and fi-

nally, accompanying Robert Pollard’s subordinate semispoken vocals and war/sex/ sacrilegious driven lyrics, is Kevin Fennell, beat keeper, the only drummer of the nineties close to the abilities of a certain Keith Moon.

Under the Bushes is a 55 minute, 24 song epic, which combines evocative, effective, emotional and witty lyrical ballads. An evident genre of defining this enigmatic band would be punk-rock.

The Clash and The Stranglers, although not heard in the sound of the album, are with us in spirit as are immersed in the startling, yet testosterone driven ‘Cut-Out Witch’; “Could she change this wrong into a right/Say pretty please, and I think she might”. Political love songs

don’t come stronger or pack as much of a punch as this. In a different way, GBV could be put in a descriptive column with The Rolling Stones, for the sheer volume of their increasing discography.

Nowhere amongst these 24 tracks will you find a poorly produced creation. Each song swallows you whole, spits you back out, and leaves you with a renewed mantra.

‘Man Called Aerodynamics’ rattles electric guitars and continuous percussion with subtle delay, with simplistic lyrics. Not soon after, ‘The Official Ironmen Rally Song’ delivers some simple thrilling arpeggios that get behind an anti-political anthem; “You won’t see me turn my back”. A pixies-esque guitar riff fully bloated by distor-

vious Francophone lyrics of Coeur de Pirate, it’s hard to determine where this quintessentially French edge has developed from, but it’s a welcome twist on a genre that has been revisited so many times in recent years.

In the case of Coeur de Pirate, a young Québécoise whose piano-driven melodies are in stark contrast to her tattooed physique and post-hardcore past, composing exclusively in French has earned her a place at the forefront of what is becoming an increasingly niche genre of music.

If the thoughts of spending any longer than a few minutes listening to anything classically-influenced fills you with dread, then don’t worry - this reinvented form is much less daunting than trying to work your way through a Bach cantata. And hopefully, as this small genre grows, baroque will no longer be confined to the top floor of the JK block, as modern artists are providing us with the sort of dramatic musical expression that Vivaldi himself would be proud to hear on the airwaves.

tion provides a brief interval while you gather your thoughts. The only problem with my pick of the litter, ‘Bright Paper Werewolves’, is that it’s only 1:15 seconds.

Yet, in this short time-frame, there is a slow start to emphasise the bleak outlook on environmental destruction is followed by an invigorating tension build up, everything done with just acoustic guitar; “Come on polluted air balls / stop scouting out the field”.

The final six tracks (only added to the studio album later in its life) are a tantalizing ending to the album’s explosion of distinct American Indie Punk-Rock. Of these six, ‘Redmen and Their Wives’ and ‘Take To the Sky’ explore minimalistic solos, heavy rhythm guitar and clear lyrics. ‘Drag Days’ is a gentle mocking of ‘Man On The Moon’.

It was recently announced that after 7 years on sabbatical, our old Ohio heroes will return with Let’s Go Eat the Factory and Class Clown Spots a UFO. If you don’t get your hands on them, Pollard will be sick, although that’s likely to happen anyway.

MUSIC

W

hen I first heard I was to review the debut solo album by a member of a highly successful band of brothers, the squeaky clean image of The Jonas Brothers came to mind. “No, no, it couldn’t be”, I thought. It was.

Having heard nothing from The Jonas Brothers except for the South Park parody, I didn’t exactly have high expectations. And, unsurprisingly, every negative preconception I had turned out to be true. In fact, this is quite possibly worse than The Jonas Brothers, who I understand played music that was vaguely guitar driven, because the middle Jonas described his album as being “more urban and dance electronic” than what he did with his siblings.

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Joe Jonas Fastlife

Ryan Adams Ashes & Fire

CIARÁN LEINSTER

KEITH LEMATTI

2/10

7/10

In fact, I think the only way that this album could have disappointed me is if the lyrics were not as toecurlingly bad as one would expect from a former Disney star. The title ‘Love Slayer’ is bad enough, before we even get into lines like “If you ain’t heard about love, she’s a stone cold dream stealer, Love slayer, it’s likely I’ll be on my worse behaviour”.

Then, we’re treated to ‘I’m Sorry’, with lyrics like “Yeah it’s like a drug... I was using you, every night you’re gonna swear it hurts”, which isn’t exactly up there with Brian McFadden’s ‘Just The Way You Are’ for “Creepiest Lyrics of the Year”, but it’s probably likely to shock some of the Bible-bashing Christians of whom the Jonas Brothers were so beloved.

The scary part is that those lyrics are probably the highlight of a song that descends into warm, gooey mush even before the middle.

In truth, this album probably isn’t as bad as I’ve made it out to be; I just have absolutely no time for the type of music Jonas is making. This will be a commercial success; it’s long proven that 8 year old girls are easier to please than 19 year old lads, but if Joe Jonas is going to have any longevity in the same mould of Justin Timberlake, the first thing he needs to do is start making music that isn’t complete and utter tripe.

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t’s been over 7 years since the release of Love Is Hell, the Extended Play that orchestrated Ryan Adams’ prolific rise to a fall. The new age country rock icon brings us a record rooted deeply in mid-seventies melodic country, and there are short flashbacks to stars who have been manipulating this style of late.

Ashes & Fire kicks off with a flurry of startling tracks.

‘Dirty Rain’, the opening ballad, describes Adams returning to his ex-lover. Paradoxical imagery set the tone for Ryan Adams’ 8th solo release in just 11 years. “Last time I was here it was rainin’, doesn’t rain here anymore, the streets were drowned and the waters wainin’, all the runes washed to shore”.

The CD pays its respects

album becomes repetitive. At this stage, borrowing from his back catalogue is evident.

Although the album deviates in parts from the whining and wailing that established Adams as a genre defying singer-songwriter, it feels like the idiosyncrasy in this Long Player is forced.

It’s about time Adams let go of the past and embraced some sort of future.

This being said, there are parts of Ashes & Fire which hail a new dawn for our advocate of country rock. If the blissful foundations from the first half of this record can be built upon, there’s no reason why Adams can’t construct new found mansions of minimalistic country that we’ve glimpsed this Autumn.

Aqua Megalomania

DANIEL NOLAN

HARFYNN TEUPORT

8/10

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to Gene Clark, with strong yet delicate vocals which radiate with the spirit of the Byrds’ marvel.

The title track confirms this, with tension building guitar backed by a close reincarnation of an American genius. However, ‘Come Home’ is the clear key song to this effort. The song combines minimalistic vocals veiled by subtle arpeggios and piano harmonies.

A bombardment of guitar fills overlap to create an uplifting final verse. This showcases the epiphany of a shattered soul; “Nobody has to hide, the way they have to fear”.

The downfall of this purchase is the clear refusal to relinquish Heartbreaker, Adams’ first post Whiskeytown release. The final side of the

Cymbals Eat Guitars

Lenses Alien

ith Lenses Alien, Cymbals Eat Guitars follow up their highly acclaimed debut, Why There Are Mountains. That album garnered them a respectable following, with its refreshingly vital and dynamic sound and the songwriting personality of frontman Joe D’Agostino. Their sophomore release sees him continue to emerge as a songwriter of serious talent and great originality. While his writing does evoke comparisons - a more uptight Stephen Malkmus or Robert Pollard, or a less introverted Elliot Smith- there’s an added edge that puts him head and shoulders above the vast majority of his contemporaries.

Some of the band’s critics have commented that their

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ambition sometimes seems to get in the way of the songs, as they over-stack them with instrumentation or drastically change direction midway through. The epic opener, ‘Rifle Sight (Proper Name),’ and the frantic, ecstatic ‘Plainclothes’ are fine examples of this.They eskew conventional song structures in favour of something wilder that allows the band to express themselves as musicians, and D’Agostino to emphasise his excellent lyrics.

These are dark and obtuse, as he drops in disturbing images that seem to stem from old memories with other, seemingly unrelated lines.

He moves from excited but inacessible moments to startlingly lucid exclamations in one move, meaning that the words match the unpredict-

able quality of the music. Despite the lack of clarity, they are highly evocative. Many lines lodge themselves in the memory and stick with you.

Some of the most revealing lyrics could easily go unnoticed for several listens.

Cymbals Eat Guitars most impressive achievement is creating guitar based indie rock music that consistently excites and surprises in an age when that seems nigh on impossible. Their songs jolt in different directions without any warning before ending abruptly. They don’t adher to more traditional structures in order to allow their songs to build and capitulate in a way that seems entirely natural. It also means that the album requires several listens before it begins to fully reveal its qualities. While the many melodic hooks ensure some of it takes on a more immediate edge, those who are willing to engage with it over a longer time will be well rewarded.

1/10

M

egalomania is the third studio album

by Danish-Norwegian pop band Aqua.

The album was unfortunately released physically from September 30, 2011 and digitally on October 3, 2011, more than 11 years after the release of their previous studio album, Aquarius (2000).

A lot has happened since the year 2000, the Iraq war, anthrax-laced letters are sent to various media and government officials and the twin towers crumbled before our very eyes, but none of these are on par with Aquas new release Megalomania.

In February 2010, Aqua began working on their third studio album in Thailand (probably for the sex industry). Instead of touring that

year, the band focused on writing and producing the album with the desire to create the “world’s best pop album”.

After 18 months of songwriting and more than 100 songs recorded, the band finished the album after 12 months in the studio. They should have stayed there.

Forever.

There is a constant synthesiser from start to finish that sounds like a Stephen Hawking orgasm and the vocal work from badger being kicked to death.

Much of the bands lyrics are puzzling and give off a mixture of confusing messages. The song entitled “Like a robot” gives off the impression that the singer (Lene Nystrøm Rasted) is trying her very best to rape a male counterpart. “I don’t

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understand why you can’t see it clearer, yeah, yeah, I’m sexy, I’m hot, I deserve more ,Look at these body curves, why you unsure?.

Fuck me like a robot.” It’s quite unbelievable to think that ‘Barbie Girl’ still reigns high over anything on this piece of condensed plastic and faeces. The album ends with the song entitled “If the world didn’t suck, we would all fall off”, humorous considering they must have sucked a lot of people to get this released, otherwise they would all fall off the music radar.

‘Megalomania’ usually is defined by a psychopathological condition characterised by delusional fantasies of wealth, power, or omnipotence. But in Aqua’s case, it would be defined by a psychopathological condition characterised by delusional fantasies of people actually giving a fuck about their music. Track 3 is titled ‘Kill Myself’, Why not?

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Pure Awkward GRAHAM LUBY

“Ah here, I’m not shaking your hand, you’ve got gick all over it.”

In the glare of the badly-lit dressing room, Mr Chrome does a double-take.

I exit the bathroom into the vaudevillian chamber, all Hollywood mirrors and peeling walls, to find a formerly vacant burst sofa now occupied by one of Ireland’s biggest buzz-bands.

The Rubberbandits, comprised of MC duo Mr Chrome and Blind Boy Boat Club, have recently come off an international summer tour and are lounging around in the Olympia’s cavernous backstage, two weeks ahead of their October 8th gig. Why so soon?

“We have to suss out the stage. We’re going to put a twelve-foot cannon on during the show.”

Mr Chrome begins. “We’re going to pick out one lucky member of the audience and fire them from the stage,

out the window, and across the road to Leo Burdock’s, where they’ll get a free batter burger.” “The stage is on an incline, see”, Boat Club adds sagely. “It’s not so bad you’d fall off, but God forbid you lay your favourite marble on it, ‘cos it’s going into the pit.”

Such an extravagant stage act is now possible thanks to the fruits of hard

graft. Previously well-known in cult circles for their prank phone calls (Look for their “Child Minder” routine on Youtube), The Rubberbandits rose to prominence last year off the back of their slot on RTE’s ‘Republic of Telly’. The past year has seen them headline the UCD and Trinity Balls (above acts such as Jessie J and every-

MUSIC one’s childhood favourite, DJ Rankin), open Oxegen to its biggest ever morning audience, and peak at number two in the Christmas download charts with single “Horse Outside”. “He makes it sound great, doesn’t he?”

Boat Club quips as I recount their list of achievements.

“Axl Rose hasn’t done any of those things.” So how do they plan on capitalizing on the momentum that they have been building?

“Ehh, well, we’ve got loadsa s**t” Mr Chrome begins.

“We’ve done a load of stuff with Channel 4, we’ve a UK tour coming up… and we’ve started shifting each other as well.”

“We’ve always shifted each other on stage, but lately we’ve been [shifting] in our own time” Boat Club adds nonchalantly, as if explaining his microphone specifics. “No matter how much money you make, it won’t find you happiness.” “It’s good for our group dynamic as well!” Chrome interjects enthusiastically. “Think of it this way: As soon as Wham! started fisting each other, the f**king number 1’s started rolling in.”

Conversation then veers into their experience on the festival circuit, normally a black smudge on the calendar of many a touring act. “Nah, Oxegen was grand”, Boat Club admits. “Fergie from the Black Eyed Peas came up to us really drunk, saying she wanted to collaborate with us as well! We were like, ‘F**k off! You look like mutton!’”

Now part of the cream of Irish showbiz, name-dropping is something The Rubberbandits seem to have grown to enjoy. “That gay Protestant can f**k off” Boat Club snaps, his tone sharpening when the jovial banter turns to the presidential race. “We were up in our tree house there recently”, explains Mr Chrome in a more reserved manner, “and he came along with a bag of sweets and tried to come in.

We told him to go and f**k himself.”

“You can’t say that, that’ll get him in even more trouble!” Boat Club hisses to his partner. “But you can say he’s gay, though, ‘cos he is!” Chrome grins defiantly through his exotic shopping bag (“I got it in Portugal!”).

“So print that!”

As enjoyable as their verbal tangent is to listen to, one annoying fact keeps niggling in the back of my mind; for all the extensive touring they have undertaken this year and are planning to continue into 2012, the Rubberbandits have little to support but stage banter and a handful of singles.

How long can they continue before the jokes finally get old?

“We’ve an album coming out in November!” they admit excitedly. “We’ve loadsa new songs. I’ll let ya in on a secret, for all the young artists as well…” Blind Boy Boat Club’s tone turns grave.

“The trick to writing good songs (other than rampant shifting), is starting fires.

We set fire to a Mosney up in Louth, and it’s been burning now for six days.” Can you let The Tribune in on an album title? “Yeah, f**k it…The F**got Factory! And if that ever gets controversy we’re gonna say that you made it up!”

And so ends our conversation.

ARTS

11.10.11

arts@collegetribune.ie

Review - ‘Warrior’ Directed by

Gavin O’Connor.

Starring Joel Edgerton, Tom Hardy, Nick Nolte, Kurt Angle, Kevin Dunn, Bryan Callen, Jennifer Morrison, Jake McLaughlin, Frank Grillo, Liam Ferguson.

2hr 19min, Cert 12.

Out Now

DARRAGH O’ CONNOR

M

MA or mixed martial arts is a relativity young sport, and one that is experiencing a boom period at the moment.

Its youth however has not spared it from experiencing much negative media attention both at home and in the US. Rather its popularity has made it no stranger to controversy.

Terms like “human cockfighting”, “savage” and “barbaric” are

often tagged to the sport from outsiders in the media and political establishment.

Congressional inquires composed most of the media attention during the early days of the Ultimate Fighting Championship (UFC).

Despite its growth and increased acceptability as legitimate, it still carries these undertones to most.

The major MMA promotions are dominating the pay per view industry and drawing sell-out crowds to its live events.

There is also a profound cultural impact that has been tagged to this boom. MMA “schools” seem to be opening up on every corner and the TAP OUT trend can be seen out in force at pubs and around many of the country’s campuses.

Not surprising then that Hollywood would cash in and make movies based on this sport.

In recent times we have been served MMA themed movies like Never Back Down, Red Belt, and Never Back Down 2. These are characterised by unrealistic fights and silly dialogue.

Thus their focus shifted away for an actual good

movie, to something instead composed of a lot of loud music to which people hitting each other and act tough.

These movies make an effort to appeal to the lowest common dominator and play into the stereotypes of both MMA fans and indeed the sport.

When I first heard about Warrior, honestly I expected that it would be the same case. Instead it is in my opinion the best movie based on fighting yet made.

This includes the Rocky series, The Fighter, Raging Bull and The Wrestler.

The movie tells the story of two estranged brothers who enter an MMA tournament called Sparta, which is awarding the biggest purse in the history of the sport.

The first brother Tommy Riordan(Tom Hardy), an ex-marine returns to his hometown and enlists the help of his recently sober father to train him for the competition, after he brutalises one of the top fighters in the world during a local sparring match.

His older brother Brendan Conlon (Joel Edgerton), a former MMA fighter unable to make ends meet as a high

school teacher must return to the amateur ring to provide for his family.

After a lucky break he gets the opportunity to also enter the competition and save his family from insolvency. This however also means that he may face his brother in the tournament.

The story is very well written and engaging. The opus of the movie bleeds emotion and each character both human and conflicted.

The glory and pomp of the UFC spectacle are removed, and replaced with the gritty and brutal reality of fighting.

This movie attempts to show why someone would fight.

Why someone would allow themselves to be brutalized by another person. The entire cast are superb. Hardy’s performance in particular is

Review - Jane Eyre DONAL LUCEY Directed by Cary Fukinaga.

Starring Michael Fassbender, Mia Wasikowski, Judi Dench, Jamie Bell.

120 mins.

3/5

T

his is the latest in a long line of interpretations of Charlotte Bronte’s classic gothic romance.

However unlike previous adaptations, Moira Buffini’s script tells the story in flashback mode instead of following the novel’s linear storyline.

The reasoning behind this is not only to try and fit the large scope of the book into two hours but also in the hope of forging an emo-

tion bond between the audience and this mature Jane (Mia Wasikowski). We then flashback to the story of how Jane came to this point, from mistreated orphan to the self-assured governess who falls in love with her new employer, Mr. Rochester (Michael Fassbender). That is, until she discovers that he is a man burdened by a terrible secret.

There are a lot of things in this adaptation that work well. The production quality is top notch. The visually striking cinematography, affecting light work and music serves the story well.

Cary Fukinaga puts his own stamp on the film too.

He prefers natural light for much of the film, which creates the proper dark, moody and gloomy atmosphere that matches Rochester’s temperament perfectly. Mia Wasikowski and Michael Fassbender both give very

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both haunting and griping.

The supporting cast allow the main characters to spar with them and flesh out, why they’re fighting while also exploring sub-plots of the movie.

Tess, the wife of Brendan, recalls his earlier hospitalisation after a fight, and pleads with Brendan not return to that life. Paddy Conlon (Nick Nolte), who plays the father of the two protagonists, explores the failings of an alcoholic father.

The fights are graphic, realistic and thrilling. The fights with their combination of punches, submissions and kicks are very true to actual MMA offerings.

This is of course a testament to the director Gavin O’Connor. O’Connor

is no stranger to the world of MMA. He directed a HBO documentary called The Smashing Machine which follows an MMA fighter in 2002.

It appears that this experience has paid off in this movie. The camera shots and presentation of each fight, feels like you are watching UFC or Strikeforce.

There are moments of comedy too within the serious and dramatic subject matter of the movie.

Peppered throughout the movie are a number of cameos from the world of MMA, I am sure this will please fight fans. Another surprising cameo too is that of former WWE wrestler and Olympic gold medallist Kurt Angle (current TNA wrestler), appearing as the Russian competition favourite, Koba.

In short this movie has something for everyone. It is an emotional tale of a father trying to reconnect with his sons, a man trying to provide for his family, an ex-marine battling his inner demons, and it is a damn good fight movie.

I feel that despite its true class however it will go under the radar of a lot of people. I urge all of you to not be one of them, you must see this movie.

good performances in the lead roles.

Unlike in Alice in Wonderland where she was underwhelming and stiff, in this performance she captures the essence of the strong willed, restrained governess. Fassbender, as we have come to expect, brings a strong presence to the screen and succeeds in making us care about Rochester in his relatively short screen time.

But casting Fassbender as Rochester does come as a surprise because he does not epitimise the fustier version of Rochester in the books.

In a way it cheapens the relationship between Rochester and Jane. People could not be blamed for thinking that the young Jane falling in love with the handsome, brooding grump is a bit cliché.

While this is an enjoyable adaptation, there are other things too that don’t work well. Jamie Bell as St. John Rivers seems like a miscast.

Fans of the book will complain about some of the dialogue omission where as people who have never

read the book could find the shuffled time-line confusing to follow and the drama tedious in places. The most disappointing aspect of this adaptation is it decides to focus more on the relationship between Rochester and Jane and gives less emphasis to the book’s darker mysteries.

Rochester’s wife feels like an afterthought. After capturing the mood so well in other aspects, why put so little emphasis on the midnight screams or the secret room.

One mindboggling scene sees Rochester escort a man bleeding from the neck of the premises. Jane shows no interest in an explanation and it is forgotten about for the remainder of the film.

These things hold the film back, ending up as a good adaptation when it could have surpassed its predecessors such as the 1983 classic.

There is no doubting this film is beautifully shot with some really striking visuals and good performances. But falls short of grasping the Gothic grandeur of the book and leaves you wondering, what if.

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ARTS

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The Trailer Park Boys Interview Sunnyvale’s most illustrious inhabitants spoke to Eoghan ‘Almond’ Regan about fame, fortune and living on a dump.

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he Trailer Park Boys are well-known to the following: the Canadians, its massive cult following spanning across Europe and the United States, and basically any developed country where marijuana is readily available.

It features the adventures of Bubbles, a cat loving thick rimmed simpleton, Ricky, a weed smoking, weed growing, mullet wearing ex-criminal and Julian, a bearded rum and coke totting mass of muscle, chronicling their misadventures as they are documented in their day to day lives in Sunnyvale Trailer Park. T The mockumentary can be described as crude, vulgar, unsuitable for those under the age of 25 and without question, brilliantly funny.

UCD’’, to which the dull and slightly strained voice of someone who may be quite slow replied, “Almond? As in the little nut?

Am I talking to a nut?”.

Immediately my fears were put to rest, this voice was unquestionably that of Bubbles, the show’s slower and thick-rimmed glasses star.

The conversation continued in just as obscure and odd a fashion as it had began, exactly what was to be expected of the three, with Bubbles leading the conversation, or rather misleading into areas which verged from the odd, to the vulgar and at all times very, very funny.

The three were sitting in Bubbles’ shed as “Ricky was rolling a joint and Julian had gone for a piss”, I asked the three about their recent tour in Ire-

Last week I caught up the entourage of misfits and asked them a few questions about their lives. Being a fan of the show, the idea of the drug fueled three stooges calling me was quite nerveracking, being able to talk to the three not knowing if they would be in or out of character, I tested the water with a tried and tested method of asking them how they were. “Hi, how are you its Eoghan from

land which saw them play to a sold out crowd and the Olympia, commenting on the brilliance of the Irish crowd and disappointment in their lack of time to “knock more Vodka into their heads”. They also talked about their two feature films, both which emerged in the last decade as major cult hits.

While simultaneously receiving reviews from mainstream critics which reflected both the snob-

bery and soberness of avid fans of the French noir film movement in the earlier half of the nineteenth century, that to say, those sans a slapstick sense of humor were not too amused.

Julian commented on the financial gains they had made from both films and the live shows over the last few years saying “nah I kinda screwed up reading the contracts, I mean it was like 25 pages, and i got through most of it but I think i signed away all our rights, I mean all Bubbles was given was a few tins of dog food, and he doesn’t even have a dog”.

I asked the three about their views on the state of American politics, a leading question which was oddly diverted by all of them to the their love for former president Clinton, and his ability to “get some” in the oval office; “I mean how many presidents have nailed some chick on that desk, I’d say it’s got to be like three at

most, and he was one of them”.

The Trailer Park Boys’ view of the world is one which is born of a life of drug dealing, poverty and staying out of jail (even though it is where they always return to at the end of every series).

However it is not their poverty upon which the series focuses, but rather a kind of ‘laugh at life’ approach, where the absurdities of life are summed up by the normalization that each of them portray, which would in our life be seen as out of the ordinary; such as selling

dope to the cops and running over the park warden with a Delorean sports car.

One could draw comparisons between the boys and the now massively acclaimed Rubber Bandits.

Although the humour is not as nationalistic or as musically based as that of the Bandits, it is just as drug heavy and vulgar in the same tongue-in-cheek way.

I asked Bubbles about the animals he had been on screen with and which had been his favorite, only to receive an answer which summed for me up what

the Trailer Park Boys were about, “oh that’s gotta be the mountain lion we had in, his name was Steve French on account of his little whiskers, they made him look really French, people used to thing he was kind of crazy on set but they didn’t realize that was because of his addiction to marijuana, yeah poor guy was smoked all the time”. Ricky told me about how fame had affected his life, saying “well it makes it kind of harder to get anything done you know? I mean it makes it hard to go anywhere without anyone wanting

ARTS

to sell me dope, give me dope, or buy dope off me, which isn’t a bad thing I guess..?”

All the while the interview continued, the level of laughter from those

told me that these guys were true professionals in every ironic sense of the word. Anyone who may have watched and interviewed the three could see that their ability to stay in

our office was reaching a level where it was almost hard to hear the voices of the Boys over the speaker phone used to record it.

However, not once did the Boys break character, it is just in their nature to expect torrents of laughter to a point where they must have wondered whether one of us were suffering an asthma attack.

That I must say is what

character, is taking with the same zeal as a Daniel Day-Lewis methodically refusing to get out of his wheelchair for the entire filming of ‘My Left Foot’. And given the level of stupidity that the Boys display one could wonder has pretending to be Ricky, Bubbles and Julian driven the three to actually adopt their characters in their real lives? Judging

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solely from our interview, it is a very likely and hilarious possibility.

The Trailer Park Boys, for those who are unfamiliar with them sound like a bunch of incoherent maniacs, who’s brand of humor ‘just isn’t for me’. Well stop that thought process and if necessary in a Men In Black style memory wipe, rid your mind of the slapstick elements right...now.

Something this interview must strain is the universal appeal of these anti-heroes.

The dialogue of the series from the offset is thick and vulgar, in its essence a brilliant representation of genuine ‘middle of nowhere’ speech.

The characters are organic, and although quite cartoonesque, still evoke the same emotions as, to use an earlier reference, Christy Brown. Well, had Christy Brown sold dope and tended to cats a bit more - an alternate ending perhaps?

However, given the niche of the show, and

arts@collegetribune.ie

7

its cult status, it would be rare to see it feature on the Comedy Central and most definitely not on RTÉ right after the Late Late Show?

Imagine your granny

ing the day, but a college students dream of mindless laughs in the evening - a fitting place for the cult drama.

In conclusion of the interview with the three

it can be said without hesitation that true fans will be come in their hundreds to enter car parks of UCD with trailer vans and pick-up trucks, and I personally will be sport-

viewing Julian and Ricky stealing vegetables from the supermarket posing as Santa and his helper in early July as Bubbles high as Pete Doherty, singing ‘Let’s Get it on’ over the shop intercom?

The prospect is not that likely. However it does feature and has for some years now on ‘3e’, a usually trashy channel dur-

I asked them would they ever consider coming to UCD. The three made it pretty clear that they would be up for it, saying however “yeah man we would love to come down, we just have to wait till Ricky’s dad gets off the sauce and out of the dump so we can take him with us”.

Should they ever come,

ing my filthiest mullet and warmest beer, lying in a plastic inflatable ring on UCD lake, in homage to the arrival of our trailer park kings.

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ARTS

arts@collegetribune.ie

Review - ‘Juno and the Paycock’ “Th’ whole worl’s in a terrible state o’ chassis” By Sean O’ Casey Directed by Howard Davies Venue: The Abbey Theatre.

Dates: 21st Sept – 5th Nov Cast: Sinéad Cusack, Ciarán Hinds, Risteárd Cooper, Ronan Raferty, Clare Dunne Price: €13-25.

CIARA MURPHY

S

ean O’ Casey’s, ‘Juno and the Paycock’ has been brought back to the Abbey Stage in a co-production between The Abbey Theatre and The National Theatre of Great Britain.

This play deals with the life of a four-person family, living in a tenement in Dublin in the midst of the Irish Civil War. This tragi-comedy still resonates with audiences today with the theme of

poverty once again relevant in today’s society.

‘Juno and the Paycock’ not only provides the audience with a humorous and believable story but it also provides a cutting sociopolitical commentary on the Ireland of the time.

The family seems to be under a constant threat of self-destruction with Captain Boyle (Ciarán Hinds) at the helm. Boyle is more interested in sharing his tales with all who will listen than providing for his family and his friendship with ‘jack-thelad’ Joxer (Risteárd Cooper) is both hilarious and frighteningly destructive.

The other male in the

family, Johnny Boyle (Ronan Raferty) has been disabled by the Easter Rising, in which he lost his arm. As a result, it is left up to the family matriarch, Juno (Sinéad Cusack) to keep a roof over the families head, and keep them all in check.

The realistic set, designed

by Bob Crowley, is sensational. Never before has the Abbey stage been utilised so well.

No detail has been spared.

This intense realism truly hits home with the audience from the very beginning and allows them to feel as if they are suspended in time.

The lighting, cleverly nuanced by James Farncombe,

allows the stage design to really function successfully.

The aesthetics are breathtaking but the way that the stage is used is what really builds the atmosphere.

The performances of Hinds, Cooper, Cusack and Raferty are consistently strong. However the performance Mary Boyle (Clare Dunne) is at times over zealous and pedantic. This however is rectified in the final act where the audience is fully on her side.

It is Ronan Raferty however who simply steals the show with his performance of the one-armed “die-hard” Johnny Boyle. Raferty captures the deepest elements of Johnny’s despair, sorrow and anguish and brings them to life in an enthralling and raw way.

This production of ‘Juno and the Paycock’ is wholly successful and achieves what it sets out to do. The audience is entertained and laughs and cries with the characters.

We feel as if we are truly taken along on this journey.

Framed by a spectacular set, ‘Juno’ is both a theatrical and visual masterpiece.

Have you read this yet?

CIARA MURPHY

Y

ou’re a college student. You’re reading the Arts section.

You should by all accounts be an intelligent, capable person. So, the question is…have you read this yet? Every issue The College Tribune will bring you a featured literary work that you should read in order to solidify your position as an intelligent, to-be-taken- seriously academic.

(If you’ve stumbled upon this section on your way to Sport, this goes for you as well!) So get your spectacles out and read on.

The Complete Maus by Art Spiegelman. Penguin Books. 296pp. €21.99.

“It was many, many such

stories – synagogues burned, Jews beaten with no reason, whole towns pushing out all Jews – each story worse than the other.”

Combined in this book, ‘The Complete Maus’, are ‘Maus I: A Survivor’s Tale’ (1986) and ‘Maus II’ (1992). This graphic novel, winner of the 1992 Pulitzer Prize Special Award, depicts the story of Vladek Spiegelman and his wife attempting to live and survive in Hitler’s Europe.

‘Maus’ illustrates the family’s life in Poland both before and after WW2 and also Vladek’s later life in Rego Park, a neighborhood in New York City.

Written by Spiegelman’s son, Art Speigelman, through a series of recorded interviews with

his father, ‘Maus’ allows, through images, the reader to engage with the Jewish experience of the Holocaust in a refreshing and unconventional way. The Jews in this work are represented as mice and the Germans as cats but this play on the politics of the animal kingdom is never inane. Instead, it serves to represent the chilling dynamic of the human condition.

If you haven’t read this yet it is a must do. Never before has the Holocaust experience been made so accessible to the masses, whilst remaining totally, and sometimes painfully, honest.

The representation of this tale through images increases the sense of empathy that the reader feels

with the characters. You experience the character’s elation, hope, despair and bitter disappointment whilst never wanting to put it down.

What is truly remarkable about this work is that Vladek is an average old man. He does not pander to the stereotype of holocaust survivors as being almost extraordinarily brave, strong and quintessentially, a hero.

The reader feels infuriated and exasperated at him regardless of his story.

It is the sheer honesty of this graphic novel that makes it so moving. It is a story that you will never forget.

Have you read this yet?

ARTS

11.10.11

arts@collegetribune.ie

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Review – ‘Horrible Bosses’. DVD SHANE MEAGHER

T

imes are hard in Los Angeles as Nick (Jason Bateman), Kurt (Jason Sudeikis) and Dale (Charlie Day) each face one obstacle that stands in the way of their happiness and wellbeing; their horrible bosses.

Under the supervision of “murder consultant” Jamie Foxx, the bungling trio collectively devise a plan to rid themselves of their respective employers forever, with predictably disastrous and often-amusing results.

It must be admitted that their beastly bosses, played

by Kevin Spacey, Jennifer Aniston and Colin Farrell, steal the show. Spacey, as the corporate tyrant who is not adverse to blackmailing his employees, Aniston as the nymphomaniac dentist, whose sexual advances are particularly offensive to the soon-to-be-married Dale, and Farrell as the cocaineaddicted bully who sees his late father’s business, of

which he is now in charge, as nothing more than “an ATM machine”.

What truly makes this film stand out above other recent comedies is the acting. Each actor delivers an impeccable performance, with perfect comic timing.

The villains play their parts with an exceptional degree of believability, especially given the rather far-fetched nature of the plot.

Aniston’s role in particular stands as a testament to her versatility as an actress; the evil, dirty-minded Dr. Julia Harris is, in many ways, the antithesis of the roles we are used to seeing Aniston play (at least in recent years).

Colin Farrell also outdoes himself in the role of Bobby Pellitt, with his exemplary portrayal of the character’s boorish ways, and a comedic comb-over to top it all off.

The film’s main weakness is its plot. The rather clichéd concept of three disgruntled employees conspiring to kill their corporate superiors requires far more subtlety than

we see in ‘Horrible Bosses’.

The scene in which the subject of murder is first broached is particularly unconvincing, and occurs far too suddenly and unexpectedly. It’s hard to believe that, over a few drinks in a crowded pub, three rational, sane men would suddenly start discussing how they might go about committing murder, even if it is only a “hypothetical” idea.

A concept as extreme as homicide needs to be evolved for a considerable length of time for it to work properly in a movie, to such an extent that the audience already sees murder as the only viable option before the word is even mentioned.

This does not happen in ‘Horrible Bosses’, instead, the audience is left feeling rather perplexed and unable to relate to the characters and their motivations.

Fortunately, the superbly convincing acting of Spacey, Aniston and Farrell makes up for the somewhat unbalanced screenplay (written

EVENT GUIDE PLAYS

Juno and the Paycock -Sean o’ Casey The Abbey Theatre 29th September – 5th November Monday 7.30pm

–

Saturday:

Saturday matinee: 2pm The

second

installment

The Speckled People -– Hugo Hamilton Directed by Patrick Mason The Gate Theatre 29th September – 5th November Monday 7.30pm

–

Saturday:

Saturday matinee: 2pm Tickets: €15 – 35 Making its debut to the stage, The Speckled People is Hugo Hamilton’s memoirs of growing up in 1950’s Dub-

of O’Casey’s Dublin Trilogy, Juno and the Paycock, tracks the ups and downs of the Boyle family against the backdrop of the Irish Civil War. Set in a Dublin tenement house this is a moving depiction of the struggles encountered by this family as they try to gain a better life for themselves. Juno and the Paycock is running until Saturday 5th November.

Tickets prices range from €13 - €40 and are on sale at abbeytheatre.ie lin. In his father’s words, the Speckled People are “the new Irish, partly from Ireland, partly from somewhere else”.

In this case, ‘elsewhere’ is Germany. This gripping and poignant drama follows this young boy as he is trapped in a language war. His father, a strict nationalist, insisted on speaking Irish, while his mother talks to her children in German. English is forbidden. The Speckled People is running at the Gate Theatre until 5th November.

Ticket prices range from €15 - €35 and are on sale from gate-theatre.ie

by Michael Markowitz, John Francis Daley and Jonathan Goldstein), and as a result the audience is not completely at a loss.

Next to the excellent acting, the best thing about this film is its dark, slightly absurd humour. The screenplay delivers quite a lot of laughs; there is plenty of room for more comedy, but there is more than enough humour here to keep the audience entertained.

A definite highlight occurs when our three conspirators break into their bosses’ houses, in search of information that might aid them in their murderous mission.

The lunacy and imbecility witnessed in this part of the movie is, in some ways, similar to the madcap mayhem we might expect of the Marx Brothers - with a modern twist, of course.

All in all this is a very enjoyable film, and a triumphant artistic comeback for director Seth Gordon after 2008’s disappointing “Four Christmases”. The film manages to

keep the viewer’s attention throughout and, although it is unlikely to appear in a list of the greatest films of all time, it is a still superb effort.

It’s a great way to spend an hour and a half. In spite of its weaknesses, this film could easily turn out to be one of the finest comedy films of

2011. More to the point, it would make a great addition to any DVD collection.

An extended version of the film, which clocks in at 108 minutes (10 minutes longer than the theatrical release), is also available on Blu-ray.

FILMS

Agatha Christie’s Verdict

The Ides of March

Footloose

The Gaiety Theatre 17th – 22nd October

Release date: 7th October

In a new take on the classic film from 1984, city kid Ren McCormack moves to a small town where, after a tragic accident that resulted in the death of 5 teenagers, loud music and dancing have been prohibited. Not one to bow to status quo, Ren defies the ban and shakes things up for the local populace. Director Craig Brewer gives this classic 80’s film a revamp but claims that “I can promise ‘Footloose’ fans that I will be true to the spirit of the original film but I still gotta put my own Southern grit into it and kick it into 2011. It’s going to be a blast.’ Footloose will be showing in cinemas from the 14th October.

Monday 7.30pm

–

Saturday:

Saturday matinee: 2pm Having been forced to flee his home country for fear of persecution, the idealistic Professor Karl Hendryk is contentedly concealed in a British university, where he is respected by students and faculty alike. His world is tipped upside down when the prospect of life saving treatment for his wife, prompts him to agree to take on a new student, the mischievous Helen who will stop at nothing to get her way. This intriguing play will hold the audience captivated as the mystery unfolds. It differs from Christie’s usual murder mystery in that the murder takes place on stage for all the audience to see who’s done it.

Tickets prices range from €20 - €40 and are on sale at ticketmaster.ie

Based on the play by Beau Willimon this film is set during the final days before the heavily contested Ohio state presidential primary.

An up and coming press secretary (Ryan Gosling) finds himself caught up in a political scandal that could end his candidate’s hopes for the presidency. Starring George Clooney, Ryan Gosling and Phillip Seymour Hoffman this all star cast is sure to impress as Clooney makes his debut as director. Release is set for the 7th October.

The Three Musketeers Based on the novel by Alexander Dumas, this most recent film adaptation sees the hot-headed young D’Artagnan along with three former legendary, but now down on their luck, Musketeers unite to defeat a beautiful double agent and her villainous employer from

seizing the French throne and engulfing Europe in war.

This is a less serious take on the Three Musketeers as director Paul Anderson works to bring the humorous side of the Musketeers to the forefront of the movie. The Three Musketeers will be on show in cinemas nationwide from the 12th October.

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FASHION

Parka Life With the evenings getting shorter and the days colder, Kellie Nwaokorie gives the lowdown on the perfect parka.

P

reparing for the rainy season as well as the colder days with the most fabulous style investments of the season is not a silly task.

Fur-lined hoods are what you need to be seen in this season to make a fashion statement, as well as keep out the cold, and there are plenty to choose from on the high street. The name parka was apparently first used in the early 1900s to describe a particular kind of woollen garment, and is Russian in origin. It is by far the most voguish outerwear designs rivaling the popularity of

camel and cape coats.

Fishtail parkas, which are longer at the back, were worn by mods during the 1960s and 1970s but, going back a few years, most people remember them as the anorak of choice for thousands of schoolchildren across Ireland.

Geek chic is now back in a big way and have been spotted on the catwalks of Jean Paul Gaultier, Vera Wang, and Alexander Wang. Now parkas of all shapes, sizes and colours are pouring into shops at the moment as the autumn and winter collections are unveiled in Irish

stores including Penney’s, Debenhams, Ted Baker and New Look.

The parka is a great way to fight the winter elements.

Waterproof, comfortable, and durable, these coats are more practical than some trendier ones you might find.

And a sturdy parka is a great

investment — it will keep you looking and feeling great, even on the coldest days. So to avoid wearing a less than pretty rain poncho or having to face the ole tug of war between the wind and your umbrella, why not invest in a parka.

This week’s challenge is to take your parka and turn it into a work of fashion. Interested, but unsure how? Well, try following these guidelines: If you’re shopping for a new parka, look for a version that’s more on the dressy side. Since it’s a parka, you won’t have to worry about it ever looking too dressy. A more tailored version will up the style of a usually casual piece, and will make you feel trendy even in the harshest weather.

Avoid the overly shiny variety, parkas with a more

matte finish generally look more stylish and are easier to wear than the shiny, puffy, quilted kind. Find a version that is loose enough to layer underneath. This way, you can pile on shirts and sweaters and still have enough room for movement.

Belted versions are great as well — they’ll give even puffy down parkas a bit of shape.

Use accessories to make your outfit warmer yet still maintain that air of style Beanies and trapper hats look great on cold winter days.

I love the military-style parkas with fur lining that have been popping up everywhere, from runways to the high street. They’re both practical and chic.

Don’t be afraid to try wearing your parka with a dress or a skirt. It’ll look fine as long as you add a pair of tights or leggings and boots.

Modish Monomania: Menswear Trends From Don Draper to dungarees, Emma Nolan shows UCD’s men what dashing designs to invest in this season

M

en’s fashion this autumn and winter is dominated by endless vintage inspired pieces.

The heritage look is the prevailing aesthetic behind this season’s key looks.

A few investment pieces are an essential requirement to achieve the desired image.

This rustic feel underpins the majority of trends this season; bold colours and prints, tweeds and tartan and relaxed tailoring; men’s wear right now is abundant in variety, whatever your style.

Here are your leading trends for men this A/W. Firstly: chinos. Out with the denim and in with the beige. Chinos have been replacing jeans as the casual pant of choice for the last few months. A more classic approach to everyday wear, their neutral charm leaves plenty of opportunity to pair with a statement top, like a patterned knitted jumper for instance.

Knitwear’s relevance at the moment is due not only to its practicality but to its heritage feel. Don’t fear the pattern in knitted jumpers; snowflake, Scandinavian and even Inca and Aztec designs are a fun way to turn heads in the cold weather this Winter. If this isn’t your style, the humble Breton horizontal stripe is also making an impact this season, team with

beige chinos for an air of avant-garde.

Layering of fabrics and textures in different combinations is huge this A/W. A shirt under a light knit jumper under a blazer, or even a shirt worn open over a t-shirt for a more casual approach is an easy and effortless technique for staying on trend.

The workwear trend consisting of boiler suits and overalls, as seen at G-star RAW shows, has been making an appearance on recent runways but is not as applicable off the catwalks. This trend’s appeal lies in the sheer hardworking, masculinity it evokes.

Dungarees are an easy way to recreate this trend and also, to make this look more wearable, invest in items with relaxed tailoring and external pocket detail which the workwear trend boasts, but can also be seen in many other prominent trends now.

Like the new relaxed, off duty tailoring in men’s suits.

The new slim cut, displays a more laid back approach than the skinny cut suit which imposed heavily on previous seasons The slim cut suit, which is hugely apparent in the Hugo Boss and Salvatore Ferragamo campaigns, is a vintage classic combined with a modern slim silhouette that

compliments the male physique; it’s very fifties, very Don Draper.

So if it’s a suit you’re after this A/W, this is the way to go in my opinion. Single breasted and a shawl-neck collar is an alternative to the usual lapels, and in keeping with that vintage feel. Pinstripe has a made come back also, but to avoid looking too gangsta stick with single block colours. The broader

shoulder double breasted suits have featured in this A/W collections too, notably at Tom Ford and D&G, with a modern twist however, lacking that boxy shape of double breasted suits in the past.

The sack suit too, which owes its inspiration to thirties prohibition chic a la Boardwalk Empire, has found recognition with Ralph Lauren this season. The seamless shoulders is the defining feature of

this style of suit and is a key attribute which can be found almost everywhere this season.

Particularly in men’s outerwear, the duffle coat has risen to prominence this A/W. The traditional and versatile design has been revamped on the catwalks by Acne, Paul Smith, Bottega Veneta and Balmain and to name a few. Ranging in colours and lengths, the modest duffle

promises to keep you warm and radiating that timeless class it embodies in the coming cold months.

Men’s autumn and winter trends for this year are all about making a bold statement, yet are uncomplicated and effortlessly practical too. Take a risk with bright colours and eye-catching patterns. Invest in timeless pieces which will see you through this winter and others to come in style.

FASHION What Not to Wear, Ever.

Laura Donohoe attempts to save UCD students from fashion disaster by detailing the don’ts of this season’s trends.

T

rends come and go, and as Heidi Klum so often reminds us “In Fashion, one day you’re in, the next you’re out”, so those seventies’ flares may not last an eternity, but they look well right now, and in three years’ time you can laugh at how dated they look. That’s the fun of fashion. This said, there are some trends that all self-respecting people should avoid.

The Fetish Trend- Originating from the A/W ‘11 shows of Marc Jacobs and Louis Vuitton, featuring luxe leathers and lashings of sophisticated lace, the trend trickled to the High Street looking less luxe and more dominatrix. With spiked embellishments and let’s pretend leather, all that is required is a indistinguishable accent, a whip and a safe word and a professional career on the red district or down the docks is certain.

Let it be said now, the staple Gaga’s little monsters look is

one not to be taken lightly.

Double Denim or All in One Denim- not to be confused with two different shades of denim. Similar or matching shades are the of-

fenders. It’s not 1988. You’re not Shania Twain. You also look a little like a douche or Dolly Parton. Double douche points if you get a friend or OH to try this look at the same time. Leave it to Britney and JT circa 2001.

Kitten Heels- These hideous creations have made their appearances into the shops once again. Suitable

only for six year olds playing dress up, or grannies trying to be “all style”. Don’t be taken in by their seemingly undaunting height, they will make feet look bigger, lack the benefit of longer legs which come from normal heels and they will look like you’ve bought them in an orthopedically friendly shop.

Go high or go home.

Pyjamas in public- This is UCD, yet there are still people traipsing around campus with their secret possessions like it’s a trailer park in Idaho. Seriously? No, seriously: get dressed.

Dungarees- adored by pregnant woman and toddlers the world over. These shapeless creations neither flatter the figure, nor look chic.

Visors- Shockingly, these garish wannabe hats have made their way to the S/S ‘12 catwalks of Balenciaga and Mulberry. Understand that these are not and never will be the solution to avoiding hat hair. They may look less like a dodgy accountant in Fashion Week, but it’ll prove tedious to pull it off around UCD. Keep it for your retirement home in Florida.

11.10.11 Beach and bed head hairthis is the most unfortunate trend to leave us, just after you’ve refined the “I’ve just rolled out of bed look” routine to 20 minutes, S/S ‘12 saw sleek ponytails, chic blowdries and Kate Middleton curls. Hair trends take longer to phase out, but a rendezvous with your old friend GHD is very much imminent.

That Red- While red has been reigning supreme in clothes this season, colouring your hair that red is out.

Super out, go back to your original roots, shave your head or work an ombre style in the meantime.

Crocs- Curse the person who invented these rubber nightmares. Conceived from a love triangle of gardening shoes, wooden clogs and mammy’s marigold rubber gloves, they come in array of garish colours and can be “customised” by pushing strange figurines of various popular children’s characters through their awful air vents.

Bin them, burn them and hide the evidence. Step back into the ballet pumps and let no one know you ever laid eyes on them.

What to Wear & Where to Go

This week Ciara Louise Murphy looks at the dress codes set for Dublin clubs and how to make the most out of your Night without looking a Fright.

V

enue picked, concessions sought out, drink acquired, minimal work done for tomorrow’s 9am lecture and predrinks sorted in the lad’s house who lives right next to the bus stop... the usual stages of getting ready to go out in Dublin for pretty much any night of the week.

The only thing left to do is find the perfect outfit to help you either fit in with the venue’s “crowd” or help you stand out for all the right reasons.

How does one decide what to wear? Firstly let us take a look as to where it is you are going; let’s say “CopperFaceJacks” is the flavour of the night.

The general consensus is that black, body-con skirts with a tank-top or any form of girlish blouse are ideal for playing it safe and working the crowd effortlessly, while any form of high street cocktail dress that won’t be a hazard to your health is perfect for the more celebratory nights out.

Lipsy is a key contender for its variety of striking yet affordable dresses, but be

prepared to add some detail to it to avoid meeting a similarly dressed female.

As always a pair of eye catching yet comfortable heels are a girl’s best friend while guys simply cannot go wrong with a classic shirt (preferably ironed) and jeans combo, minus the trainers for those hoping to impress.

Similar venues sporting this dressy yet feasible style would be D2’s and Dicey’s on a general night out.

If you are looking for a different style of night out

and the likes of Strangeways, ALT, C.U.N.T and WAR take your fancy then getting the right outfit couldn’t be simpler. Before we are hit with the full wrath of winter, dig out your summer favourites and Oxegen throwbacks such as your jumpsuit and shorts as these are seen left right and centre teamed up with autumn’s trends to make a funky spring/fall infusion.

A bright summer skinny jean goes great with this seasons knitwear to compliment both guys and girls and can

be dressed up or down with heavy burnt gold accessories and headbands or patterned hats as seen in Forever 21 and Topman/Topshop. Don’t be afraid to wear out boots, flats or heels as this style tends to play on self confidence and personal preference.

Then finally for a more formal night out in the likes of Dandelion and maybe krystle, break out the little black number hiding in the back of the wardrobe and spruce it up with any of the vintage inspired blazers seen all over the high street to get a tailored yet feminine look that conveys class and sophistication to rival the €8 cocktail you are giddily sipping away.

Bear in mind though that this look doesn’t need to be confined to these set establishments and it isn’t affordable for all of us students to have nights out such as these, but if you want to do the sex and the city girls proud then gather the troops, get all dressed up and bring a touch of class to the €5 cocktails at Captain America’s and TGI Fridays.

Chic

fashion@collegetribune.ie

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Tom Ford’s Beauty Collection Expensive but an essential addition to your daily routine.

5inchandup. blogspot.com Fashion blogging at its best.

Azealia Banks Latest Harlem raplectro act to cross transatlantic.

EEK

Aztec Leggings Just because no one wants a Christmas jumper on their ass.

Cici Cavanagh Forget Fade Street, are we the only ones who feel like Cici is stalking us – girl gets around.

Rhianna In Topshop ‘She died of Perfection’, more like she died of a viable bomb after her County Down escapades.

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11.10.11

fashion@collegetribune.ie

Beauty Spot: Top Five Budget Beauty Buys for Under a Tenner JULIE KIRWAN

W

ith the suggestion of the two little words ‘smokey’ and ‘eye’, the majority of people will shudder.

One of the most classic beauty looks takes just minutes to apply yet is one of the most difficult to get right.

The most important part of the smokey eye process is to blend. And ones that’s done, blend some more, which is time consuming but worth it.

Now, I’m not for one second suggesting you walk around campus with eyes like those in the picture (or hair, for that matter); although admirable, daytime panda eyes are a no-go. Instead take ten minutes out of pre-drinking time to blend your little heart out in order

to achieve the perfect smokey eye.

Take a black eyeliner pencil (Bourjois Effet Smokey Liner in Ultra Black €7.99) and place it from the lash line up to the crease and just under the eye. Then using a soft, fluffy brush blend the colour on the socket line and under the eye by running the brush forwards and back; creating a smokey effect.

Using a flat application brush, ‘pack’ a black eyeshadow such as Gosh 006 Black (€7) on top of the black liner, making sure to blend

S U P M CA STY LE Name: Josephine Course: Liberal Arts Listening to: Summer Camp Bar of choice: Sheeben Chic

Name: Sinead Look: Style,

Leather & Monochrome Less-is-more look.

Name: Anna Look:

Statement Leopard-Print Scarf, Oxblood & Parka.

with the fluffy brush afterwards.

Next, take a small amount of a shimmery cream eyeshadow (MAC ‘Shroom!’ eyeshadow €15) and place it in the inner corners of your eyes, and just under your brow bone to highlight.

Then using your black liner, line the inner rims of your eyes and add a slick of volumising mascara such as Maybelline Falsies Mascara in Black (€10) to the lashes.

And that’s it, simples.

FASHION How To: Smokey Eyes JULIE KIRWAN With the suggestion of the two little words ‘smokey’ and ‘eye’, the majority of people will shudder. One of the most classic beauty looks takes just minutes to apply yet is one of the most difficult to get right.

The most important part of

the smokey eye process is to blend. And ones that’s done, blend some more, which is time consuming but worth it.

Now, I’m not for one second suggesting you walk around campus with eyes like those in the picture (or hair, for that matter); although admirable, daytime panda eyes

are a no-go. Instead take ten minutes out of pre-drinking time to blend your little heart out in order to achieve the perfect smokey eye.

Take a black eyeliner pencil (Bourjois Effet Smokey Liner in Ultra Black €7.99) and place it from the lash line up to the crease and just under the eye. Then using a soft, fluffy brush blend the colour on the socket line and under the eye by running the brush forwards and back; creating a smokey effect. Using a flat application brush, ‘pack’ a black eyeshadow such as Gosh 006 Black (€7) on top of the black liner, making sure to blend with the fluffy brush afterwards. Next, take a small amount of a shimmery cream eyeshadow (MAC ‘Shroom!’ eyeshadow €15) and place it in the inner corners of your eyes, and just under your brow bone to highlight. Then using your black liner, line the inner rims of your eyes and add a slick of volumising mascara such as Maybelline Falsies Mascara in Black (€10) to the lashes.

And that’s it, simples.