Tanaw. A Literary Folio by The Collegiate INQUIRY
The main concept of the cover arose from the goal coming up with an art that symbolizes hope in these trying times. As to how it aims to be felt and thought of by our readers, the cover interprets a journey of healing; of how our forwards and fallbacks can lead us towards “something”. As we move forward with different paces, the cover simply sends us a message that all the pain and hardships of our personal processes is not promised to be easy, but as long as we have the eagerness to move forward, no matter how faint the gleam of hope is, there surely is something that we may see; “May matatanaw at matatanaw ka.”. With the help of technology, the cover was successfully done by the use of digital sketching, wherein different textures of lines, mixtures of colors, and combinations of different elements made the whole cover have that dynamic vibe. As it can be seen, glowing flowing lines in the background are used to symbolize radiance and brightness which can be associated to what we are now and in the future. The choice of colors depended on how we wanted it to be symbolized: Green as it represents rebirth, a new beginning; Red to symbolize strength and power; Blue as a color of peace; White as it symbolizes purity and lightness and lastly; Black as used in the background for a reason, the goal is for our readers to be reminded that we, as human beings are the Light itself, that no matter how dark it gets, there is light in us that serves a foundation for a new hope and beginning. Different artists who are more experienced can surely make something similar with the cover. But what makes the cover different is what it represents and symbolizes: hope and freedom. Technically speaking, there is nothing so unique about it; colors, lines, and use of elements. The cover itself can be imitated by anyone; but we believe that our intent and message to anyone who will stumble upon our literary portfolio will make the whole work stand out among others.
Anna Therese Dapiton Literary Committee Leader
COVER ART by: Melannie Dayao
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TABLE OF CONTENTS 8 - Grief and Denial 9 - Ayos Lang. 10 - A non-writer’s POV 11 - Adverse Effects 12 - JOKER 13 - What’s going on 14 - No Approved Therapeutic Claim 15 - Ocean 16 - Not In My World 17 - Clown
Tenuia Rome Tenuia Hermes Malo Tenuia Oizys Mariel Bernadeth S. Villamer Oizys
18 - ANGER 19 - A Creative Paradox 20 - Pointing Fingers 21 - Ode to the student 22 - Huwag 23 - ME, WHY, WHY, ME 24 - Withering Wail 25 - Ligaw 26 - Fine, but 27 - Bakas
Rome Tenuia Oizys Malo B3y Mark Andrei Dabajo Tenuia Hermes Malo
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28 - DEPRESSION 29 - Balisa 30 - Worn out 31 - A night owl 32 - Three Pointless Friends 33 - Peace 34 - Senseless Mess 35 - The Last Matchstick 36 - Emergency Hotline 37 - The Worried and Panicky Mind
Mad Tenuia Malo Hermes JL Heaven Pascual Rome Tenuia Oizys
38 - Bargaining 39 - Kahit Isa Lang 40 - My Shepherd 41 - Prison 42 - Unsung Lullaby 43 - There is, He is 44 - Martyr 45 - The Same Gate 46 - Tip the Scales 47 - Obsecro
Hermes Mad Oizys Tenuia B3y Malo Rome Heaven Pascual Tenuia
48 - ACCEPTANCE 49 - Well, it is well 50 - Ready to be found. 51 - Redeem 52 - Usad 53 - Light 54 - Epilogue 55 - Me and I 56 - Unleash 57 - The Secret of Finding Happiness
B3y Tenuia Malo Tenuia Oizys Tenuia Hermes Oizys Cilwin
Letter from the editor Mental health has never been this relevant and attended, because it has never been this severely affected like before. In these trying times, as we thrive and try our best to survive, IIST’s The Collegiate Inquiry brings you a Literary Folio, a book that embodies the journey of mental health, from struggles to overcoming. Relatable to inspiring and encouraging contents, pieces that will remind you of how far you’ve gone and how much you’ve conquered. A portfolio of written contents that will help remind you how strong you are. May these literary works serve its purpose, to make you realize how much you’ve endured this tiring race and to tell you that you should never give up, to remind that you there is hope no matter what happens. You are strong, you are a conqueror, the fact that you still read this proves how much strength you hold. Laban!
Tandaan, kahit anong manyari, pag-asa ay laging “ Tanaw “.
Alyssa Bea Aficionado Editor-in-chief, The Collegiate INQUIRY
Foreword With one heart and one goal, The Collegiate Inquiry from Imus Institute of Science and technology did our best to serve a Literary Folio that will be significant, timely and relatable for everyone especially this season. The making of “Tanaw” was not easy but it is certainly worth it. As we journeyed through the making of this, patience was tested, limitations were present, the team struggled with conflicts of schedules etc. But in spite all of that, as a team, we learned a lot in creating this literary folio, we learned to maximize the privilege of technology, we learned the importance of delegation and leadership, we stretched our tolerance and learned to adjust according to everyone’s capabilities and most of all we were able to build a relationship despite not seeing each other and not meeting as a team yet. We’ve had virtual meetings and group chat talks. All that for an aim to produce this lit-folio, literary works that serve the goal of reminding you of how far you’ve come in this exhausting marathon and encouraging you to never give up, to remind you that no matter what happens, there is always light at the end of the tunnel. As we make this lit-folio with one aim, we learned a lot of things as individuals and as a team. TCI hopes that this Literary Folio gives out its sole purpose, we pin our hope that this literary folio will help you in any way possible and serve you like how it did us.
“Scold Me” by B3y All of this feels new to me, clearly this ain’t what I am supposed to be. I don’t feel good anymore, I don’t feel free. I’m tired of scolding me, it’s not working, I hate me. But this is me now, what shall I do? I don’t want to stay like this but I can’t get out of it too. What’s happening? Help me, scold me. Maybe it’ll work, maybe it’ll wake up from this nightmare I’ve never thought I’d be in.
Grief and Denial. Illustration by: Alyssa Bea Aficionado
“Ayos Lang.” by Tenuia Hindi ko alam kung kasalanan nga ba ang magpanggap. O baka naman kasi ganoon na talaga ang alam kong mekanismo? Basta ang alam ko lamang ay ganito: Kapag ikaw ay nadapa, gaano man kalalim ang sugat na natamo, tumindig ka. Tumindig ka. Pagpagin ang mga dumi’t alikabok. Magpatuloy. Patuloy. Na kahit kasabay ng iyong mga paa sa pagpatuloy ay ang mga luha na unti-unting bumabagsak, dugo na patuloy na rumaragasa, at kirot sa puso na ang dahilan ay ang pagkadapa, Huwag na huwag mong iindahin ang sakit. Patuloy. Dahil sa paningin nila, ayos ka naman. ‘Di ba? Illustration by: Melannie Dayao
Grief and Denial
9.
“A non-writer’s POV” by Rome I’m not a writer myself but kept writing anyways. From the articles I’ve created for a number of years with the small group of sentences that were written with tears, my heart is confident enough to reveal, I’m just a person entrusted with these but none of them were produced where I feel at ease. They said, placing your heart in front of the line makes everything seem manageable, for a moment I laughed, now I know my deficiency but still gave it a go, nevertheless. A writer should know how to give body to a text, I can do that too, a writer knows how to create stories with passion, now I know how inadequate mine is. I don’t know how cliché it is, that most writers can be more productive when they feel sorrow inside, but as for me, I’ve created myself a passage where I can fill words on the entire paper without feeling anything. Is not feeling anything considered a feeling? I still don’t know because I’m not a writer, but a person who writes.
Illustration by: Emyrose Dequiña
10.
Grief and Denial
“Adverse Effects” by Tenuia Why would you doubt my smiles? I promise you they are pure. I just prefer staying up late. No, nothing bothers me. It’s just some little hairs falling off, Maybe it’s just a bad hair day. Or simply a bad day. Or maybe a bad week? Maybe? Illustration by: Anna Therese Dapiton
Grief and Denial
11.
“Joker” by Hermes Hey! Dance in the class. Hey! Can you sing in front of us? Hey! The class feels excited! Hey! You bring the joy in class. A man who stood up his confidence, to bring his own talents outside his comfort zone. Not only to achieve remarkable performance, but to gain friends, companions, and popularity. He received letters of appreciation after the end of the year. Saying, “For all those years of being part of the same class, I am truly grateful that you are part of those years and joys.” Thank you. He said, “Thank you!” with a delighted smile on his lips and his eyes. As soon as the sender walked away, his smile slowly washed away. His lighted persona begins to shallow and confuse him. He felt exhausted but yet in triumph. He breathes deep in, he says “It’s okay, at least they’re happy.” For all the years of joy he brings, how long will it last until his triumph could bring? Is he suffocated or happy? Or maybe he was only a Joker who puts on a mask, but his empty shell begins to swell as its makeup falls. Maybe not, maybe it’s not true. Who am I?
Illustration by: Melannie Dayao
12.
Grief and Denial
“What’s going on” by Malo Everything seems to be okay, Until the sadness creeps inside me. Then the rain, the rain starts to fall, Which made me feel more meaningless. Something is missing, I don’t know what it is. It also feels wrong, What’s really going on? Everything is okay, you will be fine, I keep repeating it to myself. But suddenly, I can’t feel anything. My body feels numb, my heart feels tired.
Illustration by: Maisie Lyn Bongcahig
Grief and Denial
13.
“No Approved Therapeutic Claim” by Tenuia I am perfectly fine. No, really. I am not lying. I made my friends laugh last night, I even cooked my sister’s favorite pasta, Even made a cover of my favorite song. I kinda stayed up late, though. Too late. It’s just too late. But it’s okay, right?
Illustration by: Anna Therese Dapiton
14.
Grief and Denial
“Ocean” by Oizys I cannot help but halt and look at the vast freshwater. Gently it falls, down, down into the dusk of the freshwater - the unbroken, the eternal, the limitless. The enormous, gated lagoon is ecstatic! Longest, largest, latched lagoon. Is it bothering you that it’s so heavy? Is it tearing you apart to see how large the locked lagoon is? No matter how hard it tries, an unending expanse will always remain shaggy. It’s difficult to look at an infinite expanse. An infinite expanse is shuffled, But an endless expanse is disturbed. Illustration by: Lizzie Mae Posia
Grief and Denial
15.
“Not In My World” by Mariel Bernadeth S. Villamer A friend standing so tall Jumped off on a one-way flight When the secret’s out That’s when the rumors fly Having no choice for the truth to rise He was impeccably good at hiding In the twitch of his meaningful eyes As he stretched his lips for dauntless smiles His heart carried the weight of the world for so long Until he couldn’t keep anything but forlorn They say, “seeing is believing” How come I cannot believe it When it is there in front of my eyes? How come it’s not sinking When I’ve heard it a few more times?
I carried on like it’s just a blank slate When — reality-wise — it’s darkness over dark red No tears to be shed No feelings to be felt Guess, it’s just numbing everywhere In a second, it will be time for the alarm to go off In a minute, this nightmare will be done and it will wake me up In an hour, this will only be written as an entry in my diary In a day, I’ll get to see you standing at my door again Not in a bier, not on a rainy day Nothing has happened, not in my world Because I still see you here with me Although I have my eyes closed Maybe, it’s not a matter of my ability But a matter of my will
Illustration by: Michael Villanueva
16.
Grief and Denial
“Clown” by Oizys I wish I’m perfect to your eyes, I wish all my flaws could be buried inside. Fortunately, I’m a good fraud. I can be happy even when I’m sad, I can be strong even when it’s unbearable. Do you think it’s bad? I don’t think there’s anything wrong with it; all I want is to be accepted in the society I’m in.
Illustration by: John Lester Jamili
Grief and Denial
17.
ANGER.
Illustration by: Anna Therese Dapiton
ANGER “Blame” by Tenuia Am I that selfish to wish that it should not even be me suffering right now?
“A Creative Paradox” by Rome I want to feel this creatively. I can do it without you being cursed and be at the most peaceful expression you’ll ever see. I don’t want to put myself on the world’s madness overstatement, I can feel it on my way, by my principles. No clue will be given, no signs for you to track. You will never know who I am referring to, or to whom I’m feeling heavy about because I have the right to follow my will and go on where I can feel considered. I have the right to endure it selfishly without letting you know, why would I give you awareness? Who even are you? If I can be at peace alone, I can also feel this pessimist feeling on my own. I don’t have to share it with anyone else, it’s one of the few things that no one could ever steal from me, most of all it’s mine. Unconditionally, I will take time to let this heal but for the meantime, let me have it all for myself. Illustration by: Emyrose Dequiña
Anger
19.
“Pointing Fingers” by Tenuia Hereth: Am I a good friend? Saint: Yes, you help me most times. Hereth: Do you think I have been a good daughter too? Saint: Well, yeah. You are doing real good in school and I believe that you always make your parents proud. Hereth: Have I been responsive enough to people around me whenever they need me? Saint: Of course! You are even willing to go the extra mile for them to feel that you are there. Hereth: Well I make mistakes too. But it’s okay, right? Saint: Silly, we are all human. Yes, we do make mistakes and we own it up. Hereth: There are tons of bad people in the world, right? Saint: Yes. Stop asking questions and try to sleep now. It’s been 48 hours since you’ve slept! Hereth: Oh yeah? If there are more worse people than me, Why did I end up taking these pills then?
Illustration by: Anna Therese Dapiton
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Anger
“Ode to student” by Oizys My light student, you excite me to write. How I hate the way you procrastinate, Raiding my mind day and through the night, Always desiring about the predicate. Let me compare you to a troubled pie? You are more worried, mimsy, and clumsy. Right drought dries the white picnics of July, And summertime has the mumsy sloppy. Let me reckon the mean of how I hate you Your dramatic brain, eyes, and ears irritate me. My days are piled up with thoughts of your heated eyes. Repulsive realm; My hate for you is While we’re apart, I must recollect my harsh phrases with a creased heart. Illustration by: Lizzie Mae Posia
Anger
21.
“Huwag” by Malo Kung hindi mo kaya iyong pighati at sakit, huwag mong gawing galit.
Illustration by: Ma. Lorren Aparici
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Anger
“ ME, WHY, WHY, ME ” by B3y Who else should reap the anger I’ve sown Who else is responsible for the feelings unknown Who should I blame, when all this came ‘tis me! ‘tis I! Why can’t I say “I’m fine” without a lie Why can’t I just strip this eternal void Why am I too weak to wrestle with this orb Why am I not like how I was before Why am I frail, so out of control
Illustration by: Alyssa Bea Aficionado
Anger
23.
“Withering wail” by Mark Andrei Dabajo “What is gained when we turn malevolence?” The counselor asked, how long has it been since I’ve been here? I lost track of time with his nonsense blabbing. I do not understand what is happening… other times I’m well and good but out of the blue I will feel miserable and want to disintegrate out of the world…completely hidden from sight. I walked out, breathed deeply and sigh then went to the bathroom. I splashed myself with water; looking at the mirror…I look like a hot mess. A ghost in a shell; it’s been 2 years and I still can’t get over it, the more I try to move on, the more I feel alone. I cannot accept it, I will not. I went home, flopped on my bed but I don’t want to sleep because I’m tired of waking up in tears simply since I can’t put to bed these phobias and fears, I’m new to this GRIEF I can’t explain but I’m no stranger to the heartache and the pain and it feels most heavy tonight.
Every time I close my eyes, I get flashbacks of the roadside debris, the bodies of 4 people including my wife and my unborn son. I miss them every single day…I should join them, I’m sick of the past I can’t erase, A jumble of footprints and hasty steps I can’t retrace, the mountains of things that I still regret, is a vile reminder that I would rather just forget…how can I? How could I? While making a noose, something crossed my mind, “what is gained when we turn malevolence?” No, I didn’t do it! It wasn’t my fault! We had an argument! It was not my intention to crash the car into the other vehicle. I will always hold a candle for you even until the fire I began to burn me alive and when the light shattered; you will see me holding what remains, quite simply because I cannot accept it, if I had to ask God to give you back in exchange for my life I would do so. An innocent life is taken when we turn malevolent.
Illustration by: Michael Villanueva
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Anger
Illustration by: Akyra Jem Jarin
“Ligaw” by Tenuia Sabi nila, sa buhay daw natin, bigla-bigla na lang talaga may hahagis ng pira-pirasong mga bato at magdadagdag pa ng mga bundok na kailangan natin abutin at lampasin. Kung ganoon, bakit halos sunod-sunod na ata ang nadadaanan kong bulubundukin?
Anger
25.
Illustration by: Fatima Grace Dequina
“Fine, but,” by Hermes Who’s that man behind? Looking mysterious yet fine. He’s turning around, That gaze on his eyes is not. What in the world did that man become!
26.
Anger
“Bakas” by Malo Madaling ilabas iyong galit sa ibang tao Madaling magsabi ng kung anu-ano Pero alam mo iyong mahirap kapag humupa na ito? Iyon ay iyong sakit ng salitang binitawan mo Mga salitang sa bibig mo lumabas At kahit ilang taon pa ang lumipas Mag iiwan pa rin ng bakas Na iyong pagsisihan sa wakas
Illustration by: Ma. Lorren Aparici
Anger
27.
DEPRESSION “ILL-LIT” by B3y
I’m in too deep, everything turned gray. It’s too dark here, I don’t want to stay.
Depression. Illustration by: Jamila Louise
“Balisa” by Mad Tila nakabalot sa lungkot ang mundo Hindi makita ang lagusan sa liwanag nito Marahil ay naliligaw ako
Paulit ulit na dumadaan Sa dilim na walang hanggan Hanggang kailan?
Wala akong maramdaman kung di sakit Wala akong marinig kung di bulong ng sariling isip Paano? Paano magwawakas?
Illustration by: Melannie Dayao
Depression
29.
“Worn out” by Tenuia Maybe, Just maybe, I am exhausting myself too much just to feel that I am alive.
Illustration by: Akyra Jem Jarin
29. 30.
Depression
“A Night Owl” by Malo The night gets deeper, My thoughts keep me awake. My heart feels tighter and weaker, Because of what-ifs and past mistakes.
I once shared what’s on my mind, And got shocked by how people replied. “It’s all in your head” is what they say, while the others advice to just pray.
It is hard to open when there’s a border. But you know what’s harder? When you’re ready to speak your head louder, And no one’s sitting next to you to listen closer.
Illustration by: Ma. Lorren Aparici
Depression
29. 31.
“ Three Pointless Friends” by Hermes
There was a man befriended by grief, jealousy, and suffering. They approached him for one little thing--- losing himself. Grief snatched his confidence, happiness, and feeling of belongingness. It let him embraced the loss of individuality, And for what? For a pointless regret? Regretting not only left in place, Regretting surely left him into nothingness. To fill up the loss of himself, Jealousy comes in its way. He often sees other’s happiness as a competition. As he lost in the race, he cheated. He finds temporary happiness and a puzzle in his heart. And for what? For a pointless woe? Puzzles began to fall, even his happiness began to crumble. In difficulty in putting up with his regrets and sorrow, Suffering enjoys its way. For many moments it stayed, he suffered more deeply and completely. He lost his smile; He lost his way. And for what? For pointless pain? They befriended him, not to help him. They just came and never let go. They just stayed and killed him more. What Three Pointless Friends who make him fall from himself.
Illustration by: Michael Villanueva
32.
Depression
“Peace” by JL We are too young to realize that sweets can turn into bitters, Dehydrated from holding out to my hopes and positive thoughts, And my back begins to crack because of the heaviness that I felt, The tears and my heart as well. I felt those venom laid in my head, The thoughts that no one understands The eagerness and hunger that I endure every day. Don’t ask. I don’t need your grimy hands and full of judgment mouth, voiceless for good. A white aesthetic clay, mold me as you wanted. Stop manipulating and gaslighting sweet girls, Does it feel good to be told that or feels that your art is wrong? I think I should remain guarded and build High Castle The audacity of helping others and not yourself, cruel. The darkness and the greediness, disturbing. Cry till your eyes can’t see, pity. Mentally, emotionally and physically tired, traumatizing. Refilling after the dry times I want to taste the water from the purest river and start to let go of the deadliest poison. Slowly, but it fills.
Illustration by: Jamila Louise
Depression
33.
“Senseless Mess” by Heaven Pascual Sunken by the waves not of woe but of guilt. Devoured and enslaved, trauma was what’s built. Blood on my hands, not of anyone else, but of my own. Never been trapped and enclosed in this self-built prison. It just doesn’t make sense. Hope, dripping of regret. Faith, I’m starting to forget. Sudden rage, don’t know why, it’s just there. All these feelings, they’re just clashing and coming out of nowhere. It just doesn’t make sense. I’m just lost in my own tendencies. Confused if this is just a phase or I’m really built with these anomalies. Sometimes, it’s courage and grit that I possess. Sometimes, my heart’s just beating with bitterness. It just doesn’t make sense.
Illustration by: Michael Villanueva
34.
Depression
“The Last Matchstick” by Rome
It’s like one place or no place at all, but both work fine for me. I’ve got nothing left to lose even if there’s something to trade, I won’t risk it anymore, the reason being is, I know at the end of the day that winning will never get on the table. Even if there’s a percentage of good chances, you could never fool me, 50% is close to being impossible and 1% is a scam. One match placed on fire can be lit up a hundred others, it’s better to be caught last, where the box is already old and unable to produce friction, it is when no one can use you anymore, no one can burn you out. You may be the last one in that square but at least you find yourself safe from harm.
Illustration by: Emyrose Dequiña
Depression
35.
“Emergency Hotline” by Tenuia I do need help. I really do want to sleep, But at some point, I rather stay awake. I do need help. I want to give my best at everything, But I ended up being the worst for myself. I do need help. But nobody can hear my voice, And I just got tired from screaming. I do need help. To make things get better, And I do need help; The kind of help that will save me from misery
Illustration by: Anna Therese Dapiton
36.
Depression
“The Worried And Panicky Mind” by Oizys Whose mind is that? I think I recognize. Its owner is miserable and terrified. A tale of woe truly is Glare everywhere no time for a kiss She twists her mind, And whimpers until the gashes drip. The only other sound’s the break, Of distant waves and birds awake. The mind is worried, panicky, and deep, But she has pledged to protect, Until then she shall not rest. She lies on the mattress screaming for help She soars from her bitterness With the hope that sadness will melt She aspires to be lifeless Encountering the world with endless distress.
Depression
Illustration by: Lizzie Mae Posia
37.
“A wreck” by Malo I always beg Him to make me okay again. But, love and people are destroying me all over again.
Bargaining Illustration by: Pepito Ilang Ilang
38.
Bargaining
“Kahit Isa Lang” by Hermes Isang magdamagang titig sa kamera. Na para bang iniikot ako mula ulo hanggang paa, Ang tanging ilaw na aking minamasdan Ay mula lamang sa aking harapan Nakakabagot, Nakakapagod! Ano ba ang nagbago? Ni anino ko’y hindi matanto ng sitwasyong ito Ngunit ano nga ba magagawa ko? Bilang anak, mag-aaral at parte ng pamayanan, Responsibilidad na paulit-ulit lamang. Sino ba naman ako para kayanin? Hindi na kayang pilitin. Pinipilit ko, Kinakaya ko! Pinagpapasensyahan ko, Iniintindi ko. Pero bakit parehas pa rin ang kirot ng nararamdaman ko? Wala na bang katapusan ito? Isang pahinga, Isang hinga Kakayanin ko naman itong pag-subok, Kung pagbibigyan sana. Isang Pahinga, Kahit Isa Lang.
Illustration by: Michael Villanueva
Bargaining
39.
“My Shepherd” by Mad One night, I just found myself ruined when I felt that you were far away from me. I begged you with tears flowing in my eyes, and whispered as I gasped for breath. But you don’t seem to hear anything. Lord, find me like a lost sheep. I know You are the shepherd. Let me hold and lean on you even one last time. I plead.
Illustration by: Melannie Dayao
40.
Bargaining
“Prison” by Oizys Pinapaligiran ng konkreto Sing tibay ng bato Madilim ang paligid Walang liwanag masing-gilid Ilang buwan na ang lumipas Para na akong isang preso Balak kong tumakas At mag-iskapo Walang magawa Patuloy na nagtitiis Lahat ay itataya Mapawi lang ang hinagpis
Illustration by: John Lester Jamili
Bargaining
41.
“Unsung lullaby” by Tenuia Hush, little baby. The world may be cruel to you, But trust me things will get better. Hush, little baby. I know that you would do anything to save yourself from the depths of your sufferings, And I do, too, want the best for you. Hush, little baby. Your journey may seem to be long. Hang in there little baby, have a little hope. Hush, little baby. For your tears will be worth it, In exchange for the healing that you deserve.
Illustration by: Anna Therese Dapiton
42.
Bargaining
“There is, He is” by B3y Standing in a white wide plains, slowly stepping towards a hand. I am now reaching out to the One who reached out. I will from You. The hope that appeared through my darkest dreams, the light that shone in my deepest do everything, anything. Take me with the peace that runs from You, wash me with the hope that flows to streams. It is now clear to me, there is hope because there is He, there He is, He is hope.
Illustration by: Melannie Dayao
Bargaining
43.
“Martyr” by Malo “I am willing to put myself at risk just for him to be safe. I’m at the edge of giving up everything and sacrificing my own happiness, for us to be together and happy. I’ll do whatever it takes, just please grant me.” said by a girl who is willing to make everything for her beloved man.
Illustration by: Melannie Dayao
44.
Bargaining
“The Same Gate” by Rome It’s like a different version of purgatory, where your soul needs to undergo purification and feelings need to be recognized. That was a tough call, it was like you’re ready but unprepared, willing but still dwelling in hesitation. A complicated situation where departure and arrival are at the same gate, but here you are today ready to get a cab or plane, the destination is unknown but at least there’s you rooting for oneself, now you can travel and unearth the not yet discovered capabilities slowly. You’ve got a troubled heart but at least there’s progress. Illustration by: Emyrose Dequiña
Bargaining
45.
“Tip the Scales” by Heaven Pascual
Let me bet one more time and see my chips go all in. Let me dance once more and watch my feet sore. Grant me a little more of that moment and spare me from the anguish. Will it hurt you if I ask for another chance? or maybe just for a few more minutes of peace? Does it cost you that much to say yes? or do you just fancy me begging? The unpreparedness dictated my yearning’s depth Regret fuels this petition If only I had made the right decision. If only the scale tipped a little more in my direction. Take me back, and let me tweak things a bit. Even if it costs more than it demands. I would take the chance to scramble with fate once more. And hope that this ending never gets dealt.
Illustration by: Ann Palma
46.
Bargaining
“Obsecro” by Tenuia How many unsung melodies should be played? How many words should be rhymed? Countless whispers and prayers; How far should I go beyond? How many storms should I have to go through? How many rocks should be thrown out? Unflipped pages, too scared to read; How long will this journey be? How many nights should I stay awake? How many pills do I have to take? I bowed down and kneel; When will this chaos end? How many sufferings should be felt? How many fallbacks should happen? I beg to Thee with tears from my eyes; Take this pain away from me, please. Illustration by: Melannie Dayao
Bargaining
47.
“One way Mail” by Rome I want to send a letter addressed to me. I want to experience the delays of the process; I want to feel how it’s like to wait for something very expected. My heart is prepared to receive the mail, knowing that I will be the person accepting it.
Acceptance
Illustration by: Alyssa Bea Aficionado
48.
“Well, it is well” by Alyssa B3y And even the stars disappear when there’s too much light, But afterwards, finds comfort in the darkness and shines. Even the clouds cries when it’s too heavy, You need healing, please let yourself be. Breathe, and all will be alright in time. Hope, soon, destiny will look at you with a smile.
Illustration by: Melannie Dayao
Acceptance
49.
“Ready to be found.” by Tenuia I am a lost soul. And it’s not because I chose to be one. But maybe because I travelled too far, And always end up choosing the wrong path. I am a lost soul. And it’s not because my friends doesn’t love me, Or my parents chose not to care. But maybe because I just got tired of fighting. I am a lost soul. But that doesn’t mean I don’t care. God knows how much I wanted to show it But I’d rather not break my walls either. I am a lost soul. And yes I fought a lot of battles. And after all these countless days of hiding, At some point, I wanted to be found.
Illustration by: Melannie Dayao
50.
Acceptance
“Redeem” by Malo Forgive yourself for letting unfortunate things happen and for letting people hurt you back then. Now is the time to choose yourself first before anything else. May you continually learn to love yourself and not be bothered by anyone’s opinion.
Illustration by: Melannie Dayao
Acceptance
51.
“Usad” by Tenuia When the sun sets And the flowers showed their last bloom for the day, And the waves are finally calm, There you are. Still holding on to that little glimpse of hope that things will get better, maybe tomorrow or the day after. After a long long day, there you are. Slowly coming back at your peace. Together with the stars that is shining through your eyes, And the cold breeze that wafts the sound of music to your ears while you fall asleep.
52.
Illustration by: Anna Therese Dapiton
Acceptance
“Light” by Oizys In the darkness, I’m stuck Feeling lost and bewildered Until a wind suddenly blows Saw a gleam through my windows It was hope I found Gave me the strength to step on the ground Made a few deep breaths Until eagerness exhibits Took weeks to finally see The light that excites me Revealed the color in the horizon Add luster to my vision With this light that holds power I hope someday I can use it to empower In the darkness, you can dazzle Find your light and make the world sparkle
Illustration by: Melannie Dayao
Acceptance
53.
“Epilogue” by Tenuia The vagueness of everything, And the complications of circumstances, Together with all the uncertainties and what-ifs, I accept all of it.
Illustration by: Alyssa Bea Aficionado
54.
Acceptance
“Me and I” by Hermes Dear I, I could never imagine myself at ease whenever I am surrounded by someone who shares their untold stories about their past experiences, and how they cope up with their suffering & pain. Before, I always ran off when I couldn’t handle the situation. Sometimes I unintentionally hurt someone or even myself but I feel nothing, nothing at all--- the numbness in my body and a painless feeling emerging from somewhere else. But today I felt relieved, happy and content to accept my feelings. I accept who I am, forgive people and myself, and to understand the situation logically and emotionally. I couldn’t do it myself without the help of other people; they encouraged me to share my emotions, to let it flow, things will be okay, and they taught me it’s okay to seek help from others because I am able to handle things lightly rather than excluding myself and people from the world. Dear Self, sometimes you think the world is against you, maybe the situation you can only handle on your own, but it’s not. You need to seek from someone---even a single one to listen to you, to guide you, and find your purpose. Dear I, find others like you, and help them just like how you find someone to lean on. Dear Self, thank you for not giving up, I love You! Sincerely Yours, Me
Illustration by: Michael Villanueva
Acceptance
55.
“Unleash” by Oizys It’s time for you to let go of the reins. Stop identifying yourself as nothing more than a worrier doomed to fail. Instead, once your strength tank is down, find a way to refill it. If you want to live a beautiful life, you must be kind to yourself.
Illustration by: Melannie Dayao
56.
Acceptance
The Secret of Finding a Happiness by Zel Sometimes, we tend to seek happiness in things and people ; we don’t realize and know that all of the things that can make us happy are the ones beside us and yet we’re still searching for someone else. Learning to appreciate the most simple things in life will make you find how truly grateful you are in life; learning and realizing the most simple things will make us feel that happiness and joy inside our hearts. Learn to live a simple life and appreciate the simple things around you. Live within simplicity that we may know how blissful we are.
The secret key to living a simple life:
1. Appreciate the simplest things 2 Know to look back where you came from 3. Humbling Act 4. Learn to forgive
Acceptance
Illustration by: Wenzel Tampoc
57.
THE COLLEGIATE INQUIRY Editorial Board 2020-2021:
CONTRIBUTORS:
Adviser - Mr. Amor Jude Thadeus Soriano Editor-in-Chief - Ms. Alyssa Bea Aficionado Associate Editor - Ms. Ma. Melannie Dayao Development Comm Editor - Mr. Michael Angelo Villanueva Photo Editor - Mr. Wenzel Tampoc News Editor - Ms. Ma. Lorren Aparici Sports Editor - Ms. Lizzie Mae Posia Layout Artist - Mr. Robert Patrick Alfiler Literary Editor - Ms. Anna Therese Dapiton Graphic/Cartoonist - Ms. Norhaya Gabuya Staffer Photographer - Ms. Jamila Louise
LITERARY WORKS: Heaven Pascual Mariel Bernadeth S. Villamer Mark Andrei Dabajo
Senseless Mess Tip the Scales Not in My World Withering Wail
ARTWORKS: Akyra Jem Jarin
Ligaw Worn Out
Ann Palma John Lester Jamili
Tip the Scales Clown Prison
Fatima Grace Dequina Maisie Lyn Bongcahig Pepito Ilang-Ilang
Fine, but What’s going on Bargaining Cover
“The wound is the place where the Light enters you.” -Rumi
The Collegiate INQUIRY The Official School Publication of Imus Institute of Science and Technology College Department Tanaw, August 2021
