Brain Dump

brain dump: unmet expectations

by KRISTEN ACESTA

“I know you’re a virgo Cindy, but that doesn’t excuse you from being a bitch.”

I’m not Cindy, but I know how she feels. The bitchiness isn’t a hormonal dysfunction, my raging estrogen molecules with flexed arms as they berate wherever that emotional center in the body is. No, no, it’s not that. It’s because my expectations are too high. Either that or it’s because of the strong female lead thing that threatens frail egos. But I hope it’s not that. I hope our relationship together unfolds the energetic boundaries and stuck-ness that you are resisting emotionally, physically, and spiritually.

Nevertheless, Virgos and high expectations are like peas in a pod. I spent most of my younger years well into early adult life mostly upset with myself and failed expectations. But this article isn’t about my psychotherapy journey, it’s about how viewing everyone as ugly in the world allowed me to bliss out on how good of a person I am underneath it all.

Did you follow that? If not, no worries. Here we go.

I do think there is a way to hold high expectations while letting go of disappointment. That has been my work lately. Construction projects are an easy example.

Oh so you say you will be here on Saturday? But you actually meant Thursday. And how long am I waiting for that part to be shipped from China? And despite all this time you had to organize what you needed, you still managed to do a subpar job? No, no, let me reschedule all those patients who are the only paying thing here currently.

We are victims to the timing of construction workers. Their work habits. And lack thereof. High expectations, with low disappointment basically means you have to let go of the anger and bitchiness that arises when things don’t go our way. And they rarely will. I’m still working on that daily.

There are benefits to having high expectations though. When coupled with a creative expanding energy it can help beautify the world, keeping people on task to achieve higher societal goals. It also means that one sees the world *better*. I have high expectations because I know you are capable of meeting them, and I can literally visualize this better world.

In fact, my imagination is way better at compiling this perfect, symmetrical, fluid picture of a world we are living in. So much so, that when I was literally blinded to it due to mask usage, I found that I envisioned people prettier than what they turned out to be! Almost horrible to admit, but when I noticed the feeling of disappointment lurking in I had to have a laugh at myself! And then the next breath let that disappointment go while I got to analyze the perfect imperfections of their face.

Think about it. Especially if you met people that you didn’t know before the ‘VID. When you finally got to see their full face, was there a bit of disappointment? And if there was, don’t worry. You just have high expectations.

Dr. Kristen Acesta, ND, RH Naturopathic physician and registered herbalist at Mission Creek & Wellness, co-owner of Salt Creek Apothecary. becomeyourmission.org saltcreekapothecary.com