COMET HEADQUARTERS

Greetings,

I’m writing this LIVE from a haunted pumpkin patch using a typewriter made of bones and teeth with blood for ink. Ok, fine. I’m in my PJs typing on a 300 buck laptop while sipping lemon tea and my cat is barfing. Oh, hang on…no she got it up. All good. Now back to the previously scheduled spookiness.

Did you know the number one costume predicted for this year’s Devil Night is Barbie and /or Ken? I have a hunch we may see some tasteless (or spot on) tributes to the late Queen as well. Number two on the costume prediction lists as far as I can see from my limited and half-assed research? Clowns. I shit you not. Classic. I guess. I mean, I never felt one way or another about clowns. Never found them creepy. Or funny. Or wanted. But I am clearly in the minority. Clowns just won’t go the hell away. Again, I don’t really care - it’s more of a mild amusement (bemusement) for me to ponder clowns in general. They are beloved by some, reviled by many. And I guess they are the herpes of the costume world (actually that’s glitter) so let’s just accept their foreverness and normalize them. Killer clowns, goofy clowns, comic book clowns, sexy porno clowns, and…whatever the fuck a mime is. There clearly will be a lot of wanted and unwanted clowning around this month.

Seriously though, what gives with mimes? Like…use your words you strange little painted man! Ok, that’s ableist. Maybe he can’t talk. But I suspect he can. And he just wants us to watch his hand stories instead. “Uh-huh…rolling down a winda. Got it. Oh no! Trapped in a glass box? How the fuck did that happen, guy? Oh what’s this? Climbing a ladder and yet not getting anywhere a’tall? Your world seems sad and futile and dangerous, my quiet friend. But sure I’ll clap. Also, really? Horizontal stripes? After Labor Day?”

Fine, I’ll stop. I’m sorry to the three mimes out there reading this. I look forward to your animated and passionate feedback. “Ok, it’s a phrase. Two words…got it. Looks like something large is furiously going into a smaller, more cramped thi…Hey!”

Ok that’s charades. But it’s my magazine and this is the page where I get to do what I want. And I guess I needed to get some things off my chest concerning silent painted folk. And now that that’s done I think I’m gonna try this silly mime stuff out for myself. How hard can it be? “Oh look, I’m trapped inside an imaginary box and you can’t even hear m...................................

Happy Trails, Ron Evans Editor of The Comet