TCM 2018 Summer Issue

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EDITOR'S NOTE

LACEY JOHNSON

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FEW MONTHS AGO, I crossed over the threshold of my one-year anniversary as editorial leader for The Connect Magazine. This period has been filled with some of my most exhilarating and rewarding milestones, but also stretches of uncertainty. Through its process, I have learned that every worthwhile journey is filled with discomforting moments because those experiences place you on the fast-track for growth. I’m often stunned by how much I and the magazine have evolved together.

When I was conceptualizing this issue, I thought about the spiritual significance of summer. There is a bare and open-aired essence of vulnerability — a spirit of courageous adventure, dreaming and experimentation. So I encouraged myself as well as each member of my talented team to take a nod from the season’s mantra by being bold in our curiosities, reporting, and sharing of perspectives. I believe we all delivered, and to say I’m proud would be an understatement. Page by page, there are offerings of bravery, creativity and resilience.

I felt these virtues were important for us to illuminate because the majority of people who create fortune for themselves have never locked arms with luck. Our cover feature, Daymond John, is the epitome of this concept. His story fills four pages, and asks to teach us not only the power of the “Rise and Grind,” but also that, no matter how many times we’re slapped with denials, oftentimes our most fulfilling and monetizing opportunities exist outside of the realm of our present realities.

Just because they aren’t bumping up against us doesn’t mean they don’t exist. Accomplished boss babe Lori Harder shows up to shout the life-shifting magic of surrounding ourselves with a tribe of nurturing voices, as well as the value of echoing that virtue back to others. Tammie Umbel appears as an astounding example of contribution and sacrifice; she homeschooled 14 children while building a milliondollar business and saving wildlife. And this issue’s art feature, the Museum of Ice Cream, presents a colorful example of how even some of our most playful fantasies are worthy of being celebrated by the world.

This summer, wherever you are in your endeavors, may you stop waiting on luck and dare to lock arms with bravery. May you show up for your ideas, take worthwhile risks and stretch beyond the scope of what you already know. Don’t let discomforting moments cause you to burn out, and don’t let the summer sun set on missed opportunities. Maybe even dare to create them.

EDITOR-IN-CHIEF

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PUBLISHER, CEO ERIC JORDAN ejordan@theconnectmagazine.com EXECUTIVE ASSISTANT DEVIN MCCLAIN DMcClain@theconnectmagazine.com PARTNER DR. EDDIE D. HAMILTON, MD, FAAP EDITOR-IN-CHIEF LACEY JOHNSON ljohnson@theconnectmagazine.com ASSISTANT EDITOR TONI LEPESKA EDITORIAL INTERN MADISON YAUGER DIRECTOR OF VIDEOGRAPHY CHRIS HOLLO HEAD PHOTOGRAPHER BARBARA POTTER bpotter@theconnectmagazine.com PHOTOGRAPHER DEVIN WILLIAMS DIRECTOR OF COMMUNITY ENGAGEMENT CAROLYN MCHANEY-WALLER Carolyn.waller@zeitlin.com DIRECT CONNECT SUSAN VANDERBILT susanvanderbilt@entreesavvy.com SENIOR WRITERS DAWN MASON JOE SCARLETT KEELAH JACKSON MADISON YAUGER DENNIS UPKINS CONTRIBUTING WRITERS AMBER CABRAL - Diversity ANNA-VIJA MCCLAIN - Entrepreneurship GRAHAM HONEYCUTT - Empowerment RAQUELLE DICKERSON of SEO.com DIRECTOR OF SALES ERIC JORDAN PUBLISHERS AND SALES REPRESENTATIVES Help Wanted: Join Our Team ALABAMA FLORIDA GEORGIA KENTUCKY LOUISIANA MISSISSIPPI TENNESSEE VIRGINIA ADVERTISING INQUIRIES advertise@theconnectmagazine.com For all editorial pitches and submissions, please contact Lacey Johnson at ljohnson@theconnectmagazine.com.

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PUBLISHER'S NOTE

How

OBEDIENCE Changed My Life

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OW, YOU MAY be saying to yourself, ‘Great. Another one of those stories. He’s going to start talking about overnight success.”

It’s not one of those stories. The truth is, my life changed four years ago, on a much deeper scale than I ever imagined, when I started The Connect Magazine.

When I began my tenure as publisher, my biggest challenge— or so I thought at the time—was to get advertising agencies to pay more attention to the ideas and vision entrusted to my care. I never considered a fundamental question: Why did a magazine of excellence, faith, inspiring stories and reporting need to serve as a sales medium between advertisers and readers? Why should advertising be our principal means of support?

When I first started my business, I was at a crossroads in my life.

God was really challenging me to be more intentional about helping people. I had this burning desire to help and contribute to the world by any means necessary. So, wait — what did this mean? Was God revealing to me my purpose and passion? With no desire to start a magazine nor resources to help complete strangers, I quit my job and began listening to my inner voice. To be painfully honest, I was barely making ends meet at the time. I had nights of worrying about failing those counting on me. As a leader amongst men, my biggest fear was letting others down. My strong faith allowed me to overlook this fear because God is not a man, that he should lie. I believe that true obedience flows from a heart of gratitude for the grace we receive from above.

My obedience with the magazine has provided personal connections with some of the most successful God-fearing people across the world. It has inspired people and improved lives, but it hasn’t always been easy. Becoming an entrepreneur means long days and nights. I often feel overworked and underappreciated. The pressure of reaching benchmarks and scaling the company often dwells in my daily thoughts. Having that burning desire to help people is greater now than ever before, and so I focus on the inner voice and always remember why I started on this journey in the first place. It was never about money, fame, nor status. It never will be!

I will continue to be obedient to that inner voice that made me quit my job and rely strictly on faith. I have never regretted it.

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In closing, I implore you to make time for yourself and allow nature to take its course. As for me, the last 30 days of my life has been filled with healthier eating habits and 4 a.m. workouts. I learned that we can’t take care of those around us without taking care of ourselves. Mental and physical health are vital parts of living a successful life. I want to leave you with my daily prayer and favorite quote: “Trust the Process.”

I hope you will.

CEO/PUBLISHER

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CONTENTS SUMMER 2018

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Cover Story 24 ‘SHARK TANK’ CONTENDER DAYMOND JOHN GETS CANDID

ABOUT HIS PRIVATE MOMENTS TO THE TOP Reflecting on his journey from being broke — spent waiting tables and hustling his unknown brand of hip hop apparel out of a van — to building a legacy and sliding on pinstripe suits for millions of television viewers, John says to never underestimate the effectiveness of a daily rise and grind.

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Features 14 THIS NASHVILLE NONPROFIT IS BREAKING THE CYCLE OF ILLITERACY,

ONCE CHILD AT A TIME When one generation is illiterate, the generation that follows is often plagued with the same epidemic. This nonprofit organization is determined to break the spell.

16 CACTUS MOON RETREAT: THIS SUNNY RANCH IN THE MOJAVE DESERT

HAS BECOME A MAGICAL SPACE FOR THOUSANDS Men and women travel near and far in search of connection, restoration and self-discovery underneath the desert sky.

30 WHERE HISTORY, HOSPITALITY & RESTORATION COLLIDE:

THIS ICONIC SOUTHERN EATERY WELCOMES ALL TO SIT AT THEIR TABLE Woolworth on 5th, a renovated landmark in Civil Rights history, is dishing out hot plates, wooing with swank, and serving as a poignant reminder of where we’ve been and where we’re going.

34 THIS SUPERMOM CEO EMPOWERS & PRESERVES THROUGH HER MULTI-

MILLION DOLLAR SKINCARE BUSINESS Shea Terra Organics Founder Tammie Umbel is a mom of 14, yet manages to travel to Third World countries to source ingredients, all the while nurturing the coexistence of people and nature.

40 WHEN CHILDHOOD DREAMS BECOME MASSIVE REVENUE:

THE MUSEUM OF ICE CREAM PROVES THE POWER OF EXPERIENCE An Instagram all-star, this pop-up museum garners 1,700 visitors a day and is where diversity, progressivism and play come to life in a sprinkle pool.

44 AN AMBITIOUS FORCE TO BEHOLD: BEHIND THE SCENES

WITH RISING ACTRESS AVA JUSTIN She has a budding acting career and her own cosmetic line. This 12 year-old is wasting no time exercising her mission to entertain and inspire the masses.

45 CRACKING THE CODE ON HIGHER-PAYING CAREERS

This mother of three launched a medical coding academy with assistance from a non-profit lender.

48 SELF-LOVE EXPERT LORI HARDER WANTS YOU TO HARNESS YOUR TRIBE

& SOAR TO YOUR HIGHEST POTENTIAL This cover model, TEDx Speaker and New York Times Best-Selling Author knows a thing or two about following her bliss. She asks to help you become a warrior for your own.

Columns 8 DO YOU WANT TO CREATE AN INCLUSIVE WORLD? IT BEGINS WITH YOUR KIDS If we want to create a world that feels safe for generations to come, we’ve got to show them how it’s done — while they’re young.

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10 HOW TO GET YOUR FOOT IN THE DOOR

Show up and act. There is no more time to continue holding yourself back.

12 GETTING NAKED: SHEDDING THE 7 LAYERS OF SETBACKS THAT

INHIBIT YOUR SUCCESS The season has come to strip away those self-sabotaging layers of fear, doubt and regret. It’s time to face your worthiness.

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19 ME, MYSELF & LAKE TAHOE: A LESSON IN SELF-CARE

Adventure-filled vacations often create the most memorable experiences, but that won’t always be the kind of trip you need.

20 CHICKEN FEET FOR THE SOUL

You don’t always get what you think you want, but sometimes the “not getting” serves you with the lesson you needed most of all.

33 WE WANT TO KEEP THE ROMANCE ALIVE, SURE—BUT HOW?

Fairytales are fiction, but love has never been a lie. Here’s how to keep the passion thriving even when daily life seems to offer none.

36 4 NEW & EFFECTIVE WAYS TO CONNECT WITH YOUR CUSTOMERS ON GOOGLE Don’t dare miss out on the free tools that are guaranteed to magnify your online presence.

38 THE KEY INGREDIENT TO UNSTOPPABLE ENTREPRENEURSHIP?

IT MAY NOT BE WHAT YOU THINK. When it comes to creating a business that endures long after so many others have failed, the truth may surprise (and liberate!) you.

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34 The Connect Magazine is a quarterly lifestyle publication and online media source committed to engaging our diverse audience through empowering and impactful stories of entrepreneurs, young professionals and businesses in pursuit of creating positive ripples throughout the world, through efforts large and small.

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DIVERSITY

Do You Want to Create an Inclusive World?

It Begins With Your Kids WRITTEN BY: AMBER CABRAL

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HE TOPIC OF inclusion has been buzzing through workplaces and in the media for a while now, thus, many of us have given at least some thought to what inclusion means in our day-to-day lives. Maybe we’ve shifted behaviors and even changed the way we engage with others. But how much thought has been given to one way everyone can impact inclusion the most — by speaking with our kids?

Parents make countless small decisions every day that contribute to raising the best possible humans. Being deliberate about teaching our kids and teens inclusivity should be a part of those decisions. The social science suggests the best recipe for raising well-rounded and socially-responsible individuals is made of two ingredients: one — starting early and, two — establishing consistency.

As young people connect with new friends this summer at camps, fairgrounds, pools and parks, consider using the following tips and exercises to teach your child how to be inclusive with others.

HELP YOUNG PEOPLE SEE THAT DIFFERENCES IN OTHER CHILDREN AREN’T BAD OR WEIRD Diversity essentially means differences, and those differences contribute to our uniqueness. Help your children understand that they may encounter children who cannot move their bodies the way they do, who may not speak the same way they do, or may even come in different complexions.

None of these things are bad, but they are a part of what makes each person unique. Just as some children are tall and some are short, make sure your kids understand that differences can come in a variety of ways.

One simple way to teach this is in the grocery store when shopping for fruit. Much of the fruit will look the same, but there are always a few that look different. The pieces may be larger, shaped differently or have a different color. Consider purchasing a piece to show children that though the apple may be smaller or different in color than the others, it is still a delicious apple. This simple activity may help children see that people can have differences, too.

EDUCATE YOUR CHILDREN ON BULLYING When children are uncomfortable with someone’s differences (or even their own), there is a tendency to tease or bully. Teasing and bullying not only attack someone’s differences, but also may be used to exclude them. Since much of the human condition is built around belonging to a group, bullying can affect how a young person develops. Remind your children bullying is bad behavior and makes people feel left out, hurt and unsafe. Ask your young person to think about ways they can positively interact with others who are different. One way to start this conversation is to ask them to think of a time when they had to stand up for someone in their lives. What happened? What did the person need? What did they do?

This kind of exercise encourages young people to be thoughtful about being brave and making good choices when interacting with others.

If you are concerned your child is being bullied, have a conversation about your concerns with adults around your children so you can build a 8

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plan together to stop it. Look for opportunities to have your child engage with friends with whom they have strong relationships. This will only serve to help build their confidence around others.

TEACH YOUR CHILDREN ABOUT SHYNESS Some kids and teenagers are quite shy, so they do not make friends as easily as others. Shy children may feel left out or disliked because they find it challenging to engage others. If you are the parent of a shy child, engage them in conversation about what it means to be brave.

Remember: bravery doesn’t have to be loud or big. Bravery can be sharing with others, being polite, or starting conversations with new friends.

If the young person in your life is not shy, teach them ways they can include others who are shy. For younger children, this can be inviting your child to engage with another, as in, “Would you like to share your blocks with him?” With older children, remind them to invite everyone to participate, not just those with big voices. Sometimes shy children may decline to engage, and that is okay. It is still a good idea to invite shy friends to participate, or to ask if there is an activity they like. Teach more gregarious children to speak up and invite others to include children who may otherwise be left out.

ASK PLENTY OF QUESTIONS Create habits that encourage shared perspective and understanding. When your child highlights a negative or positive difference they see in someone, engage with them about what it might feel like to live with that difference. If they see a child struggling to read, remind them of times they’ve struggled, and invite them to think about that feeling in relation to the person they are observing. How might the world see a person who is struggling to read? How might having a hard time reading affect that person in their day-to-day lives? By probing into these topics, you create an environment where it becomes second nature for your child to see other people’s perspectives, leading them to be thoughtful and considerate of others.

INCORPORATE DIVERSE EXPERIENCES INTO YOUR CHILD’S SUMMER A critical part of inclusion is exposure to differences in everyday experiences. Seek out culturally-rich and interactive museums and activities for young people during the summer. Many summer camps across the country are incorporating programs and curriculum for children of various levels of physical and mental ability. These insure children with diverse abilities interact with one another in communal environments that emphasize commonality instead of division. Do some research to see if there are any programs nearby that may interest your child. An added benefit of diversifying your child’s summer experiences is that as the new school year approaches, students will have adventures of far-flung experiences to bring back to the classroom and to their peer circle. Intentional pilgrimages to areas rich in diversity can create a lasting influence on how your children experience and share a wide and beautiful world.

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BUSINESS & LEADERSHIP

HOW TO GET YOUR FOOT IN THE DOOR

WRITTEN BY: JOE SCARLETT

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HETHER YOU ARE selling a product, marketing a service or promoting yourself, there is no time to hold back. Even when it feels intimidating, take the initiative, run with your idea and don’t easily take no for an answer. Most important of all, don’t allow yourself to get discouraged. Winners don’t give up.

Demonstrating confidence in front of others helps show that you are on the path to success. That’s easy when you’re a natural extrovert, but there are plenty of subtle ways to shine as an introvert as well. Also, keep your mind open to new and innovative ways to accomplish your goals; the toughest sells require the freshest ideas and the fortitude to keep going in spite of obstacles. Let’s say you have a plan to sell your product or yourself, and targeted a few companies that are your best prospects.

Here are a few key tips: • RESEARCH FIRST. Learn all you can about your target customers.

Study available materials on the internet and elsewhere. Call the prospect and ask for sales and company information. Read everything you can and be prepared to ask solid questions when you get the meeting.

• LEARN THE KEY PLAYERS. The better you know the folks you want to meet the easier initial conversations will be. For example, study not only on what your target customer does in his or her job, but also what activities are of interest outside of work. It’s an easy way to make a deeper connection.

• DROP IN. It’s acceptable to visit your prospect in person. Swing by and see how many questions you can get answered on the spot.

Many companies are proud to discuss their brand or show off their operations. You might even talk your way into touring the facility or meeting some key players.

• COLD CALL YOUR TARGETS. Start by prepping yourself ahead of time. Be clear about what you plan to say and set an expectation for 10

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time. For example, when you talk to the gatekeeper, you could start with, “I only need about 20 minutes of Ms. Jones’ time to discuss how we can cut costs by 15%.” Keep it simple—detail is a turnoff.

• SEND SALES MATERIALS. Keep initial materials simple so that your prospect gets interested and wants to know more. The first information you share is like the headline in a newspaper, not the meat of the article.

• REIGN IN YOUR RESUME. Keep it to two pages max, and state your experience and intentions in clear terms. Bullet points work well. Again, your goal is to draw just enough interest that a prospect wants to learn more. Too much detail may disqualify you before you get a face-to-face.

• BE PERSISTENT. If you haven’t heard anything after a reasonable time period (about two weeks), call or write again. Be polite and refer to how your product/service might help the organization.

Follow up several times with your top prospects, but also realize when it’s time to move on.

• HANDWRITE A NOTE. In today’s digital age, personal handwritten notes can be exceptionally powerful and a memorable means of communication. Use them sparingly in follow-up communications.

I realize that selling yourself or a product is difficult. It’s easy to get discouraged, but don’t let it happen to you. Some of the best sales people in the world get turned down every day and may only succeed in one out of a 100 calls. With a plan, a positive attitude and persistence, you will be successful.

Joe Scarlett is the retired CEO of Tractor Supply Company For more on leadership, see joescarlett.com

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EMPOWERMENT & SUCCESS

SHEDDING THE 7 LAYERS OF SETBACK THAT INHIBIT SUCCESS WRITTEN BY: KEELAH JACKSON

na*ked [‘nakid] ADJECTIVE 1. (of a person or part of the body) without clothes. (of an object) without the usual covering or protection. (of a tree, plant, or animal) without leaves, hairs, scales, shell, etc… exposed to harm; unprotected; or vulnerable.

2. (of something such as feelings or behavior) undisguised; blatant. “the naked truth”

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HIS SUMMER, I challenge you to shed those unwanted layers of excuses and setbacks to reveal what is underneath them all: success.

LAYER ONE: FEAR Ditch fear first. It’s heavy. It weighs a lot on your baggage scale, and it’s not even a little bit cool. Fear is the one setback that will bench you even before you have a chance to bat. Nothing can sideline you faster than the inability to overcome fears that hold you back. Release the nagging inner demons so you can soar and move into your happy, productive place.

LAYER TWO: INSECURITY AND LOW SELF-CONFIDENCE You already know you have the skills, so why aren’t you slaying the dream? Get on with your life already! You’ve dumped fear. What’s holding you back now? As you look around, there are people lessqualified than you doing exactly what you are overqualified to do/ And, of course — apparently — more capable of doing. The difference?

They exercised what you won’t: confidence. Believe in your capabilities.

Know your worth!

LAYER THREE: PRIDE The flipside of not believing in yourself enough is overdosing on hubris and then ascending into the atmosphere where your brain gets no air. Your head will float on all the excessive pride you’ve accumulated with each triumph of life. Yes, it’s already been noted that you must have a certain level of confidence and belief to accomplish your dreams, but don’t overdo it. No one likes a big head. Don’t set yourself up for a brutal fall.

LAYER FOUR: IGNORANCE Ignorance is not bliss. If you want to learn more about your area of expertise, go for it! There are so many avenues to learning new things about your passion that you have virtually no excuse to be unaware of how to proceed. Do your research. Study. Seek mentors. Ask for help.

There is no dumb question except the one unasked. Seek and you shall find the correct knowledge for how to proceed on your path.

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LAYER FIVE: LACK OF RESOURCES Money, or lack thereof, sometimes deters the best of us. It, along with lack of other resources, such as time, help, education, access to information, proper tools and set-up, can really rain on your aspirational parade. However, please do not allow what you don’t see to undermine what you know to be true in your heart for your future goals. If lack of funding appears to be a challenge, keep positively searching for loans, grants, fellowships, sponsorships and other financial avenues of assistance. Crowdfunding is an option as well.

If you can’t find a resource you need – such as a publisher for your multi-million dollar book idea or a distributor for your product — create a new option and invent your own way. Unconventional thinking produces new opportunities and mindsets. Self-publish. Start small as a craft boutique with your product, and expand as more resources avail themselves to you.

Whatever you do, just don’t quit on something you most believe in.

LAYER SIX: GUILT Do not feed into the trap of feeling guilty for wanting something better than average, or something different from the norm. No one is the same. What worked for your grandparents, parents or even your friends just may not cut it for you, and that’s perfectly OK. Every individual’s calling is different. It is like a fingerprint or snowflake, so do not for one minute indulge in guilt for following your passions and allowing your light to shine brightly.

LAYER SEVEN: PROCRASTINATION “I’ll do it tomorrow,” or “I’ll do it next week.” Then there is, “It’s really not going anywhere,” and “I’ll get to my life’s purpose when I get to it.”

Except you never do.

Life will fly right by you, and your dream will play a disappearing act. Putting off tomorrow what could be completed today is far more treacherous than perceived because it plays with a valuable chess piece: time. You can never regain time once it’s lost, but you never have to try and chase it if you plan and use it wisely in the first place.

Shed these layers, and get naked. Summer success awaits.

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Engage in opportunities you’re passionate about.

Lead on issues critical to your future.

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EDUCATION

This Nashville Nonprofit Is Breaking the Cycle of Illiteracy, Once Child at a Time WRITTEN BY: TONI LEPESKA PHOTOS BY: ANTONIO FAJARDO

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HE SUCCESS OF a Nashville, Tennessee summer literacy program for at-risk children may be measured by figures, or by the delighted expressions and the number of high-fives offered community volunteers like Jennifer Weinberg. She knew her hour-a-visit efforts to read with children were making headway by the second week. While the East Nashville Hope Exchange (ENHE) that runs the intensive six-week program offers some heady statistics, it was the excitement as Weinberg arrived for another round of “Reading Buddies” that most tugged at her heart.

“I really get excited to see them excited,” says Weinberg, who is also on ENHE’s board. “They are more likely to graduate if they’re reading at level by third grade, which leads to jobs and involvement in the community. Reading is fundamental for everybody. The piece of the puzzle that makes our program such a success is having family support.

That is critical.”

Spot on, according to the Center for Public Education. An engaged family – parents or grandparents or other relatives who read to and with their children statistically bolsters student success, according to the CPE’s

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information on literacy. ENHE families enter daily reading at home into logs. Each week, they attend meetings where officials unpack a literacy toolbox to aid parents in teaching comprehension and other reading skills, such as games that are included online, too. And as of 2013, the children are sent home with a new book each day. Last year, each child accumulated a library of 28 books.

ENHE began as a community outreach program of St. Ann’s Episcopal Church almost 15 years ago. As a nonprofit, ENHE manages a year-around literacy program in addition to the summer program, which strives to at least maintain the reading level of a child attained during the school year. It now serves rising kindergarten to fourth graders who are deemed at risk – they live within low-income families or they may be struggling as a reader. ENHE targets schools in the Stratford and Maplewood clusters of East Nashville, with school officials helping to identify students in need of services. Many area students don’t read at grade level, says Ameshica Linsey, ENHE’s executive director.

Without practice, their skill level declines during the summer, a further setback. The decline in summer skills is most profound among children of low-income families, Linsey says, and is part of the achievement gap that ENHE is on a mission to address.

About 100 children each summer enroll into the ENHE program.

Bonnie Bogen, a volunteer and staff member who works within the community to promote ENHE efforts, learned of one “graduate” of the summer program who was part of an Hispanic family. His parents, who were enrolling a younger child, didn’t speak much English, and he hadn’t initially, either, but his parents were able to communicate their pride clearly. He was doing so well in school that he qualified for a college scholarship. They credited the immersion of the ENHE program.

“You see these kinds of things happening that are amazing,” says Bogen.

While the anecdotal evidence is compelling, ENHE touts extensive statistics on its web page. In 2017, 98 percent of students either maintained or gained in at least three areas of reading assessment.

(Children are assessed at the beginning of the program and at the end to measure progress.) Almost all family members reported being better able to help their children read because of the program, and 79 percent of families read with their kids.

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EDUCATION

At one time, the ENHE summer program served only 42 students.

The program has been expanding, and officials expect to serve other areas of Nashville eventually.

“We have way more students trying to get into the program than we can serve,” says Linsey. “Parents call me in January trying to get [their children] into the program.”

A former classroom teacher, Linsey took principal preparatory coursework to get into leadership and then decided to work in a nonprofit environment. As a child, she was the student everyone knew would end up being a teacher. Her aunts were teachers. She loved education. She loved reading and came to understand its life-changing power. “I knew reading was the key to success because if you can’t read, you can’t do math problems, you can’t do science problems. I knew the weight reading carries.”

According to the CPE, children who cannot read proficiently by the end of third grade face daunting hurdles to success, not only in school but as adults. They rarely catch up, and are four times more likely to drop out of high school, resulting in lower earning power. Aware of the “tons of statistics out there,” Jennifer Weinberg pointed to one fact: The kids interfacing with juvenile authorities are more likely to be functionally illiterate. Their lack of proficiency in reading leads to reduced job prospects. Literacy is tied to healthier lifestyles, lower crime rates and reduced overall social costs, according to CPE. ENHE’s summer program is at the Ross Early Learning and at Episcopal School of Nashville each weekday from 8 a.m. to 3 p.m. June 4 through July 13.

While reading is a key component of the summer program, literacy is more complex than opening a book and pronouncing words. ENHE complements reading instruction with things like field trips and guest readers who broaden children’s exposure to their communities. Students learn through word games, crafts and art that entertain and teach. This year, ENHE employs 22 staff members, including certified teachers who lead small groups in reading skills instruction at a child’s specific level.

More than 150 volunteers assist, including Weinberg.

Weinberg didn’t have an education background. Hers was in the hotel industry, and now she’s in real estate. A mother of two, she loved the family engagement component. Once a week, she reads one-on-one THECONNECTMAGAZINE.COM

to and with children in 20-minute intervals. Per her instructions, she asks questions during the reading to help build comprehension. “There’s all these building blocks to reading,” she says. “You can sit with a child and tell they don’t know what a word means. You don’t just go through the motions. We stop and ask questions.”

The Exchange’s website asks for volunteers. ENHE is working on serving the North Nashville area.

“It doesn’t really take a lot of effort on our part,” Weinberg says of volunteers. “An hour a day. Just show up.”

ENHE conducted a pilot program for North Nashville in 2016 with promising results, however, it isn’t prepared yet to go forward. There’s some tweaking needed, Linsey says.

ENHE administrators also hope to diversify the funding. It costs $140,000 to run the summer program. ENHE is 61 percent grant funded, with other monies coming from donations and fundraisers such as its auction and wine tasting event and a meal called Booked for Dinner.

To learn more about ENHE and opportunities to get involved, visit www.enhopeexhange.org.

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TRAVEL

CACTUS MOON RETREAT: THIS SUNNY RANCH IN THE MOJAVE DESERT HAS BECOME A MAGICAL SPACE FOR THOUSANDS WRITTEN BY: LACEY JOHNSON

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OW DOES A born and bred New Yorker, who is accustomed to its swarms of bodies filling the subway, its ambitious spirit and its frenetic pulse, come to be one who creates an atmosphere of serenity in the high desert of California — where the yucca plants are abundant, and the rabbits scurry across the terrain in meditative quietude? “I came to Southern California 27 years ago and I didn’t get it at first.

I missed walking amongst people in the street. But I learned that there is a different kind of energy — one where people come to reinvent themselves and discover new parts of themselves,” says Caron Post, Owner of Cactus Moon Retreat in Yucca Valley, California.

During that new season of her life, she began to experience a kind of mind and spirit expansion she had never entered into before — where uncharted beauty and possibility met the illumination of the brazen West Coast sun. This spilled over into her career as a psychologist. She set up her therapy practice in the city of Los Angeles, but the peacefulness of the desert was tugging at her, enchanting her.

As inhabitants of Earth, nature’s rhythm exists within us all. This means, whether we realize it on a conscious level or not, we connect differently with each geographical facet or landscape.

Perhaps they mirror unique aspects of our primal selves back at us. I’ve long held a theory that a person can discover a bevy of wonders about themselves by developing a curiosity about the specific aspects of nature they are innately drawn to. The ocean asks us to expand and splash around in its freedom, but to also surrender to its tides. The mountains remind us how small our problems are. So what does the desert say?

What does it wish to mirror back at us or awaken within us?

Post says she was drawn to the desert’s sense of peacefulness.

“There is access to an inner stillness in the desert that you cannot find anywhere else. There is a silence, but it’s not alienating or empty. It’s a full and embracing silence,” she says. “It allows me to drop down and then connect to that place inside of me. As soon as I’m there, I settle into something different within myself. It’s an experience of profound beauty — visually but also internally.”

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Photo By: Brad Klopman

Cynthia Klopman, a board certified hypnotherapist of 18 years who recently moved her busy practice in Los Angeles to focus her energy at Cactus Moon, holding transformative four-day weekend retreats she calls “Desert Reset,” says, “The wide open space that the desert is famous for translates into an expansiveness of thinking in new ways, which leads to greater possibilities in one’s life,” she says. “Desert Reset’s yoga teacher Deacon Conroy who is based in LA, always tells me, ‘It’s like all of my issues dry up in Joshua Tree and I become freer.’”

Post adds, “It’s difficult to access such a place of stillness in the hustle and bustle of a city — whether New York or Los Angeles. That’s why a place like Cactus Moon holds a certain kind of magic.”

Before Cactus Moon came to be in existence, Post was hunting for it. “I was looking for a sanctuary in the middle of the desert, a place of restoration and connection,” she says.

Post explored a variety of options before she came upon the property, minutes from Joshua Tree National Park with views of the San Gorgonio Mountain. With three houses situated on two and a half acres, the property was in an unattractive state.

Its color scheme was in disarray, its paint old and little wooden fences surrounded everything along its grounds.

Outside, it looked abandoned and confining. Inside, it was tired, unpleasant and sad. But there was something special about it. She saw its bones and its seed of potential. It asked to be reborn.

“There is something about the challenge of taking something sad or ugly and transforming it into something beautiful. That has been true of me over many years. So that’s what I did with Cactus Moon,” says Post.

She purchased the property in December 2015, and immediately delved into its restoration process. She worked with a contractor to rehabilitate the grounds, discarding the wooden fences, along with anything that created a feeling of being enclosed. She asked that it return to being one with the desert it sat upon. She breathed new life into every corner — from the paint to the plants to the decor. Her daughter, an interior designer, was commissioned to give all of the rooms a bright, fresh and more modern feel. Together, they took immense care to fill the rooms with intricate art and beautiful textiles — pulling from cultural influences around the world, such as Moroccan and Spanish.

THECONNECTMAGAZINE.COM

TRAVEL

Photo By: Dominic Rich

Photo By: Dominic Rich

Photo By: Ariel Raee

Photo By: Ariel Raee

The therapist and psychologist in her desired to create a space that would be mentally soothing to the mind and rejuvenating to its visitors, but the process also served to soothe and rejuvenate her. And it continues to do exactly that.

“Cactus Moon is meant to be a place of healing and creation,” says Post. “I encourage the spirit of art. There are lots of art books, paintings, photography and art materials there. It’s meant to be a place of being inspired by nature to appreciate or create art. We transcend by experiencing different kinds of beauty.”

Her favorite space on the property is the master bedroom, which is filled with piles of comforting pillows and a beautiful oak tree that is underlit behind the bed. The room has sliding glass doors which allow the visitor to wake up in the morning and, upon opening their eyes, be gobsmacked with a panorama of the mountains.

Post says its important to her that the spirit of the desert exists inside of every room. “I bring in flora from the desert, and fill bowls with juniper and other aromas from the grounds,” she says.

Life-changing conversations are had over bonfires. Physical healing is found in the Yoga studio. New heights are reached among the rocks.

Epiphanies are had along the pool by day and on the picnic tables under the stars by night, asking that a reservoir of inspiration rush through that desert terrain and author books, songs, business ideas, the resuscitation of relationships or the manifestation of personal renewal.

All experiences are meant to generate restoration and replenishment — whether through creative expression, fellowship, meditation, movement, relaxation, or an infusion of them all. “There are writing retreats, healing retreats with yoga or breathing exercises, sound baths, and women sometimes get together to recharge, or cook together, or find a sense of bonding and sisterhood,” says Post. “Romantic couples also come to seek connectedness.

Although Post’s essence is strongest in the house, Brad Klopman, her business partner and co-host, who is also husband to Cynthia, is most directly involved in working with the guests to customize their unique experiences. “We started out on Airbnb first, but it was always Caron’s intention for it to be a retreat space. We don’t really create packages. It’s pretty much a blank slate for everyone because we want to be able to allow them to create an experience unique to them. We leave it as an open book for them to write their own story,” he says. ”Brad reflects upon a vast personality of transformations had over the years — from women who felt discomfort in their new postpartum bodies THECONNECTMAGAZINE.COM

Photo By: Jordan Voth

and were able to regain their confidence and wean their babies from breastfeeding, to men and women who felt stuck in unfulfilling careers and were able to return to a magical place within themselves that revealed their true longings.

Brad recalls, during the most recent Desert Resent weekend, when two long-time women friends traveled great distances to join them. One of the women felt claustrophobic and trapped inside of a career she resented.

She needed something to help her discover layers of herself she could no longer access. She dragged her childhood friend along with her, but this friend felt it was a pointless venture. She wasn’t ready to be present or to give the experience any sort of credence. But, after being in the vicinity of its beauty and tranquility, something about that space changed her mind.

“The one who was dragged there — she was quiet at first and didn’t seem like she wanted to be there. But, over that weekend, she had the most transformation of anyone in the group. She had all of these revelations about her life, and realized all of these ways she was holding herself back.

It was an incredible experience for her,” says Brad.

Cynthia recalls the same woman fondly. “She made a deep connection in one hypnotherapy session between a childhood event and a lifelong inability to be in a healthy relationship. It was like a lightbulb went off and, with that, a healing was made,” she says. “The rest of the retreat you could see a heavy weight had lifted — not only was she laughing and joking and smiling more, but her countenance had changed. She looked younger and more refreshed. There was a levity to her.”

Sometimes when we seek transformation, we think we have to do it in a boisterous, radical way. And sometimes that works. We go to conferences with hundreds of bodies in attendance. We lift up our voices, and become emboldened to write down our dreams, declare them to the universe and lasso them into the constructs of our individual realities. We seek flashing billboard type moments, asking to be whisked by the emotionalism. But other modes of transformation beckon with a whisper. We may not know its power within that moment, but when we glance back, we recall it as being the “crossing over” point where our pulse began to calm and our petals began to unfurl. Where transcendence happened in profound ways that seemed to sneak upon us. A place where walls tumble down without effort, in the openness of its oasis. Where we silence the hiss of our chaotic lives, shed the layers of our public personas and return to our true nature. Like a rabbit scurrying across the terrain in mediative quietude.

THE CONNECT MAGAZINE | SUMMER 2018

17

TRAVEL

WRITTEN BY: SHEA DRAKE

G

ROWING UP, VACATIONS were spent traveling with my family, visiting one kid-friendly destination after the next, and finally, listening to narrations of a local historic tour.

It was a nonstop adventure with little to no time for rest.

Educators were the base of my family unit, so all vacations had some sort of learning component. Naturally, having become an educator myself, as well as a solo adult traveler, museum visits, tours, and fun activities are now embedded staples as must-haves while on any traveling journey.

It’s simply not a real vacation without absorbing new information while roaming out and about. Right?

Well, not so fast.

My first full day of summer vacation in Stateline, Nevada, I ventured off and took a day cruise on Lake Tahoe. It was June. I thought it would be nice and toasty by the lake, but the temperatures remained in the breezy 70s. Taken aback by the beauty of nature surrounding me, I didn’t listen much to the narrated tour. I’d never seen a lake with such crystal-clear blue water. One nugget I did manage to take from the tour’s narrator, however, was this: if a dinner plate was hoisted down into the water, one could see the plate as far down as 75 feet. I didn’t look down too much.

Besides the additional chatter of others’ observing nature, along with parents admonishing their children not to run on the ship, I felt shockingly relaxed as I breathed in the fresh, cool air and felt the warmth of the sun beaming down upon me. I confess that the teacher in me wanted to assist the parents, but I had to remind myself, “Shea, you are on vacation. Stay in your lane.” I relaxed back to enjoy the ride. It was what I needed in that moment: just me and my Canon Rebel T5 camera, no responsibilities to anyone or anything except enjoying a soothing cruise on the lake.

After the first excursion out, I needed to figure out what I would do next. I had gone on vacation without a plan. I only had one mission in mind and I’d accomplished that by cruising around Lake Tahoe. But, much to my surprise, my body had another plan: rest. A massive headache took hold of me after breathing in all of the fresh air while surrounded by a massive population of trees. Who forgot to take allergy medicine prior to the boat cruise? I did.

I walked to a CVS Pharmacy and stocked up on allergy and sinus medication. I knew I was benched until later in the evening when it was time to watch game three of the NBA Finals. At that time, I made my way to the sports bar downstairs to watch the game with strangers. Usually subdued, I cheered and groaned out loud, rooting for my team.

The next morning, I woke up late, groggy and low on energy. I forced myself to venture out for something to eat. After my meal, I returned to THECONNECTMAGAZINE.COM

my room and fell back asleep. I later spent time in the sauna and steam room, which served as an excellent remedy for my sinus issues.

Believing I’d had enough rest on Friday, I was going to force myself to do another activity before I left. I didn’t want people to think I’d wasted money on a trip because I slept a lot. Since the movie theater was in walking distance I thought I’d go enjoy a new release. Watching movies is usually a stress reducer for me, but I didn’t feel motivated to do anything but sleep. So I slept, and I missed game four of the NBA Finals. What? Who does that? Not me—at least not usually. I was disappointed I missed the game, yet elated with the outcome. Because it was exactly what I needed.

My time of relaxation, even in the steam room, often left me flooded with ideas. I kept telling myself, “I’m on vacation. Relax.” In true form, I jotted down ideas to explore once I returned home. My cell phone constantly dinged with news alerts. Obviously, none of the alerts were positive.

One alert in particular left me stunned and forced me to go even more inward. It was the death announcement of Kate Spade. Although I didn’t know her, my heart sank. In that moment, I was reminded to take care of myself. Although I have not been diagnosed with clinical depression, it’s in my family’s past health history. So, seeing a therapist is non-negotiable for me. It’s a must. This prompted me to think about my own mental health. And I let myself sleep some more.

I am thankful Mother Nature had just enough pollen in the air to cause an allergy flare-up. Self-care is not usually my strong suit, but this experience forced me to sit down and rest. It wasn’t exactly the vacation I had planned for, but it was the one I needed. I’m grateful my experience showed me just how tired I was, and that taking time out to rest was no longer an option, but mandatory. By the trip’s end, I finally released feelings of guilt for resting on my trip. I stopped comparing it to vacations of the past.

I left the Lake Tahoe area with a renewed sense of how I need to feel while on vacation. Often times, do things a certain way because that’s what our parents or family members did when we were growing up. This includes our behaviors and activities while on vacation, however minor they may seem. But the reality is that how we spend our time is not a minor issue. When traveling for vacation purposes or weekend getaways, I now know I can experience “Dolce far niente,” which translates to “the sweetness of doing nothing.”

I learned that life-giving vacations which provide us with what we need for respite and self-care, not what is advertised on television, the internet or travel agencies, are essential. I’ll never leave home without the promise to take care of me.

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19

EMPOWERMENT/PERSONAL GROWTH

T

CHICKEN FEET for the soul

HE YEAR AFTER I graduated from college, I went to live in China for a year to teach English and study Mandarin Chinese. Considering I graduated with a Bachelor of Arts in Spanish, this may seem odd. But as a language major at my college, I was encouraged to take a year of an additional language, so I chose Mandarin Chinese. At the time, I thought I wanted to do international business, so speaking English, Spanish and Mandarin Chinese seemed like a wise move to make.

I signed a contract to work at the Leewen Foreign Language Institute in the city of Qingdao, China. I knew from learning Spanish that the best way to learn a new language was to immerse myself in the culture. Despite studying abroad many times before, and conducting my own rigorous academic study, I wasn’t fully prepared for what I would experience in my first days in China.

Upon arrival in Qingdao for the start of my journey, I was already a little on edge, as my bag never arrived when I landed in Beijing. I was met at the airport by a representative of Leewen, where I would be teaching, along with a professional driver. (By the way, in case that strikes you as strange, trust me: you need a professional driver when in China). It was around 11:30 p.m. when I arrived, and it was a 30-minute drive to the apartment where I would be staying. I was scheduled to stay in an apartment with four other male foreign teachers, but they informed me there was a little bit of overlap in the contract, so they arranged for me to stay in a different apartment for the first month..

We arrived at the apartment around midnight, and they helped me carry my bags into my room. The school representative was eager to get going since it was so late. She told me my first day of work was on Saturday, and I should arrive at the school at 9:00 a.m. She and the driver quickly shuffled out the door and closed it behind them.

This sounds simple enough, right? The important thing to know about the situation was it was the wee hours of the morning on a Tuesday. Here I was in China, in a place where I did not know one person, armed only with a map of the city and the year of Mandarin Chinese I had taken in college. I was on my own for the next four days. Those four days seemed much longer at the time.

I didn’t have anywhere to be the next day, so I slept in until around noon to recover (jet lag is a real thing). When I woke up, I started unpacking the items I did have with me, and I called the airline to check on the status of my lost bag. I finished about 2:30 p.m., and was growing quite hungry. I got dressed, collected my map of the city, along with my English-Chinese dictionary and headed into the city for lunch. I walked around until I came to

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WRITTEN BY: GRAHAM HONEYCUTT

a restaurant and noticed it was closed. I soon learned that every restaurant was closed. After looking at multiple signs at restaurants and translating, I surmised that restaurants in China closed after lunch and re-opened for dinner.

I was extremely hungry, considering the last meal I had was on the airplane, and I couldn’t seem to find any convenience stores for a snack. I just kept walking around and exploring the city. When dinner time arrived I was famished! I was as hungry as I can ever recall being in my life. I walked into the first restaurant I could find and sat down.

They gave me the menu, all in Chinese characters. I knew the character for chicken, so I pointed to a dish pictured with that character and waited for what I was sure to be an amazing dish. I anticipated my first taste of authentic Chinese food.

My excitement quickly dissipated as I watched the server place a huge bowl of chicken feet in front of me. Mind you: chicken feet are considered a delicacy in China. I don’t know if you have ever tried to eat chicken feet, but there is not much meat on them. I took a few bites where I could find something to fill my belly, but this certainly was not coming anywhere close to satisfying my hunger pangs. Too afraid to point to something else on the menu, I paid my bill and left.

I was still so hungry, though I had no idea what to do.

Luckily, I soon found a modern mall with an international grocery store. I browsed through the store and purchased the most expensive jar of peanut butter I have ever bought in my life, along with a few loaves of bread. I survived the next few days on bread and peanut butter until I met some new friends who helped me find the kind of meal I was searching for on my first day.

I did learn a valuable lesson through this. Sometimes in life, we all get a bowl of chicken feet when we expect something different.

Sometimes we are simply in survival mode and those moments are our greatest teachers. I learned more about myself during those few days in China than I had learned in some of my years in college.

Perhaps you are coming through a season of difficulty and challenge.

The middle of your chicken-feet moments could be a great time of learning. In every chicken feet moment lies an opportunity yet to be discovered. I hope you find it.

Graham Honeycutt is a life coach and motivational speaker from Nashville, TN. He helps healthcare organizations and professionals overcome burnout by being joyfully resilient.

Visit his website at www.grahamhoneycutt.com.

THECONNECTMAGAZINE.COM

BOOK CLUB

WRITTEN BY: LACEY JOHNSON

IN HIS INSTANT bestselling book, “Rise and Grind,” our cover artist, Daymond John, CEO & Founder of FUBU and fan favorite on ABC’s Shark Tank, brings to light the rituals, routines and strategies of some of the most revered entertainers and entrepreneurs in the world — each of whom grinded their way to pioneering levels of success within their various industries. Throughout the book, he also explores how his own drive, hunger, resilience and commitment to excellence bolstered him through long and tumultuous stretches of failures and obstacles, all the while paving the way for him to not only play an iconic role in the history of hip hop, but rank among the world’s most admired and influential self-made multi-millionaire investors, authors, speakers and public figures.

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IN “A TRIBE Called Bliss,” this issue’s wellness feature, Lori Harder, a self-love warrior, TEDx speaker, cover model and world fitness champion, unpacks all of her inspiration and vulnerability. She asks that you stop creating relationships that defeat you — so that you may then cease to feel trapped in a vicious cycle of competitiveness, disconnection and isolation.

She wants you to anchor for yourself an empowering tribe of reciprocity and support. Page by page, as she opens up about the highs, lows and profound lessons learned throughout the trajectory of her own relationships, she extends an invitation to the reader to examine themselves. She summons all to dig away at expired beliefs that no longer serve them, cleanse the relationship concepts and habits that sabotage them, and step into a realm of honest communication and connection that can only lead to a life of bliss.

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COVER STORY

'SHARK TANK' CONTENDER

DAYMOND JOHN

GETS CANDID ABOUT HIS PRIVATE MOMENTS TO THE TOP WRITTEN BY: LACEY JOHNSON

I

T WAS GOOD Friday 1989. Standing on the pavement outside of the Colosseum Mall, on the corner of 165th Street and Jamaica Avenue in Queens, New York, a 20 year-old tried to be discreet as he examined his wad of cash. He thumbed through the crumpled bills, counting them and smoothing them out one-by-one, disbelieving that he was turning a $40 fabric purchase (funded by long hours spent serving customers at fast-food restaurants and busing tables), coupled with days buried in his mother’s basement while curled into a sewing machine, into $800 worth of hat sales. But he knew it meant he was onto something.

Raised by a single mother in the Hollis neighborhood of Queens, and having become the man of his household at only 10 years old, money was an elusive concept. The lack of it loomed over him most of his life, shadowing the trajectory of what his future might hold. College was not on his radar because there were no funds to gain him admittance. Having been diagnosed with Dyslexia, there had never been any silver spoon to feed him, no family member to open the right doors and no privilege spinning in his orbit. But his mother had taught him the value of one thing he knew he had absolute control over: his mind.

And he would use it to visualize and anchor for himself opportunities that were outside of the scope of his present reality. His father’s abandonment had been devastating to them financially, but

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it had also made an entrepreneur out of him. Just because the right opportunities were not bumping up against him, he thought, didn’t mean they were not in the realm of existence. He’d have to create them.

The 20-year-old was none other than Daymond John, now 49, Founder of the $6 billion company FUBU, Shark Tank favorite and multi-millionaire investor, best-selling author and one of the most Googled entrepreneurs in the world. And this is the story of how he traded in his Red Lobster uniform for $5,000 pinstripe suits.

It was the early days of hip hop, when Public Enemy and N.W.A. rapped about their experiences with police brutality. John’s fellow neighborhood native LL Cool J released a track titled, “Illegal Search.”

Though not as highly publicized, prior to the Rodney King beating in 1991, a string of black men and women in Los Angeles fell victim to violence and racism. It created societal quakes that could be felt all the way to the East Coast. Hip hop was on the rise, but the clothing designers weren’t interested in illuminating its culture for the rest of the world.

So John, being a young African-American male and always one to link arms with hustle, decided to freestyle some designs that would not only reflect and contribute to his community, but shine a spotlight over it for the purpose of sharing it with other cultures. On a whim, he made some hats, and then t-shirts with various compelling phrases printed THECONNECTMAGAZINE.COM

COVER STORY

work with. As John unraveled the story for me, she offered up on them, such as, “What happened to poor Rodkey King?’ He occasional commentary in the background and chuckled as he sold them on street corners outside of the Apollo Theater and at reflected on the chaotic uncertainty of those early days. various events around New York City. Through this, he learned “I think I was around 25 at the time. My mother told me, that products with an emotional connection emanated a special ‘Look, I’m going to mortgage this house since you keep getting kind of selling power. So he coined the mantra, “For Us, By Us,” turned down by all these which was shortened to FUBU. banks. But you’re a grown-ass He started sewing the logo onto man, so I’m going to move out his apparel. The name stuck, and let you figure this out,’” but the money didn’t — at least says John. not in the beginning.

He moved his friends “I opened in 89’ and in, along with eight sewing closed down three times by machines, and turned his 92’,” says John. “I’d run out mother’s house into a FUBU of money and then close it factory. Every waking hour down. Six months later, I’d that was not spent waiting see somebody and they’d say, tables at Red Lobster was spent ‘Hey man, that shirt you sold designing, sewing, boxing up me, I’ve been looking for it Photo By: The Shark Group orders and venturing to clubs in forever. Everybody loves it.’ So hopes of getting the apparel into then I’d open it back up. But the hands and onto the bodies I’d run out of money again. of more influential people.

That whole process of shutting “My motivation switched down and starting up again to ‘Holy crap. My mother continued until 92’, and I mortgaged her house. I’ve never made any profit.” got a whole lot of people John admits that, in those expecting these deliveries to days, his motivation was fueled be made. I’ve got to work 10 by the spotlight it shone over times harder now in order to him, along with the excuse to make something happen,’” gain an all-access pass to hang he says. backstage with the likes of Run Most people would have DMC. When all of the other Photo By: The Shark Group taken the money, popped kids were being kicked off of bottles of champagne with the music video sets, he was their friends and burned their still standing mere feet from the MY MOTIVATION SWITCHED TO ‘HOLY CRAP. old Red Lobster uniform. talent, holding a FUBU shirt.

MY MOTHER MORTGAGED HER HOUSE. Not John. What I find most He eventually convinced Brand I’VE GOT A WHOLE LOT OF PEOPLE EXPECTING fascinating about him is that, Nubian to wear the apparel in THESE DELIVERIES TO BE MADE. I’VE GOT TO even after his designs was one of their videos, along with being paraded around by iconic Ol’ Dirty Bastard, Busta Rhymes WORK 10 TIMES HARDER NOW IN ORDER TO rappers in their chart-topping and LL Cool J. MAKE SOMETHING HAPPEN. music videos, and new orders “At first, the motivation were filling up his answering machine every day, he was still was feeling like I was part of the hip hop community. Then it tying himself into his server uniform every week. To the metric became, ‘Wait a minute. I can actually see potential in making of the public eye, he had arrived. But he was still serving shrimp money here and I don’t have to depend on somebody else to and biscuits and counting his tips at the end of every shift, give me a job. At that time, I wasn’t thinking about millions thinking of how he was going to invest it right back into his of dollars or having a global brand. It was more like, ‘Maybe fledgling empire.

I can make a little money so that I won’t ever have to listen to It wasn’t until early 1996, when an ad placed in the New the manager of Red Lobster or of Church’s Fried Chicken.’”

But soon he would be staring at his accidental business York Times helped him secure an international deal with through a different lens — not simply out of sheer force of Samsung, that he clocked out at Red Lobster for the final time, ambition or desire, but out of urgent necessity. and threw himself into his business completely. And it wasn’t John and his partners ventured to Las Vegas for a trade for another year after that that the brand’s popularity would show, packing a photograph of LL Cool J dressed in FUBU define an era in hip hop history. apparel into one their bags. During that show, it caught the LL Cool J was commissioned to rap in a Gap jeans attention of potential customers. They were so lured by the commercial. He wrote a 30-second song, “For Us, By Us,” magnetic pull of its celebrity endorsement, the friends ended which was an obvious nod to FUBU’s brand mantra. He up filling far more orders than they had the funds to satisfy was dressed in Gap clothing, but sported a FUBU hat. The — $300,000 to be exact. With no money to purchase the commercial reached millions of television viewers and needed materials and resources, John walked into 27 banks caused the novice brand’s popularity to explode — without in desperate pursuit of a loan. Every one of them slapped having cost them a dime in marketing. It spawned a massive him with a denial. John’s mother, who was present during controversy, and became one of the most climactic moments my entire conversation with him, then offered to take out a in hip hop history. FUBU rolled in $350,000 million in sales second mortgage on her home, which gave him $100,000 to within the year that followed.

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THE CONNECT MAGAZINE | SUMMER 2018

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COVER STORY

This meant that, as hip hop further dominated television sets and If I could only be rich. But now success means something entirely different.”

John relates with those who subscribe to the concept that money and airwaves, nearly every frame was styled by FUBU. John went from hustling success exist only in parallels, though he wants people to expand their his homemade sewn hats on street corners, out of vans and from trade perceptions of what a fulfilling life entails. “If you’ve never had any money, show booths to heading meetings at his office in the Empire State building it’s easy to assume that most of your problems would be solved by having it,” and dining with then-president Bill Clinton. The apparel wasn’t just for he says. “If you’re standing at a bus stop those in urban communities anymore. with snow or rain all over you and you Boxes of boots, hats and t-shirts were see somebody pass by in a Benz, it’s easy being shipped to wealthy kids in the to view money as a cure. But the truth suburbs. It was a real American rags-tois, once you attain the money, different riches story where he became a hop hop problems will always arise.” icon in his own right — not by album He pauses for a moment, seeming sales, but by apparel sales. thoughtful, before moving into a story John admits that his early days of about a conversation he once had with glory were exhilarating, but not met a paparazzi. without oppressive racial nuances.

“One day I was coming out of a “As an African-American who was restaurant and a paparazzi stopped me. distributed by Samsung and who had He asked, ‘How do you feel being rich different partners of different ethnicities and successful?’ I said to him, ‘Well, behind me, I remember it was like I kind of feel the same.’ He was taken people thought, ‘The black guy can’t aback and so I said,’ Well, money just possibly own it.’” drives everybody to new problems in He recalls once walking into a a brand new Bugatti.’ Then, he said, room to meet with some men who ‘Well, I’d love to drive into any of my wanted to collaborate with FUBU. His problems in a brand new Bugatti,’ and Jewish partners were preparing for I said, ‘Well, if it were stage 4 cancer, the meeting when one of the potential how great is that ride going to be?’ collaborators turned to them and said, Then he put the camera down.”

“Hey, so do you want to do this?”

John says the real luxury about John then entered the room wearing a being on a show every Sunday night heavy gold chain and dripping with all and doling out half a million dollars the bling. One of the men caught his is that he is void of the inclination to gaze and said, “Wow, they sure pay Photo By: The Shark Group shout, “Look at me! Listen to me, I’m you well around here.” rich!” It’s obvious to the world that he John says, “All I could think to say is established, and this commands that was, ‘Well, guys, I think our meeting is IF YOU WAKE UP IN THE MORNING TAKING over. You just insulted the CEO.’” ON THE BURN OF EVERYBODY ELSE’S PROBLEMS, people pay attention to what he says.

But what this means for him is that he FUBU, which to date has earned a total of $6 billion in global sales, inspired AND FEELING DEPRESSED WATCHING EVERYBODY is in a position to reach the masses with ELSE’S SUCCESS, THEN YOU’VE ALREADY more enlightening and consequential other urban brands like Sean Jean and Roc-a-Wear. By the late 2000s, FUBU’s STARTED YOUR DAY OFF BAD, BUT IF YOU WAKE modes of thought, and he is committed popularity in the United States had long UP AND MEDITATE, SET GOALS, PRAY, WORK OUT, to total transparency with every television appearance, book, post and faded, but John didn’t sweat it. When OR WHATEVER ELSE THAT IS GOING TO FEED YOU Tweet — including his own diagnosis he was presented with an opportunity to AND SERVE YOU, YOU ARE SETTING YOURSELF and treatment of stage 2 thyroid cancer invest in the dreams of others — in front a couple of years ago. of millions of television viewers on a UP TO BE BETTER EQUIPPED AND IN TOTAL “With what happened to Kate Spade weekly basis, he said yes.

CONTROL OF YOUR DAY. THAT SYSTEM OF and Anthony Bourdain, I think it’s “I remember when FUBU was ROUTINE SPENT FOCUSING ON THEMSELVES IS important that I talk to people about this slowing down,” says John. “I was pressure to keep up the whole Instagram already thinking about what else I was WHAT EVERY SINGLE SUCCESSFUL PERSON IN image of being a boss. We tell everybody going to do. I didn’t just get upset THAT BOOK HAS IN COMMON. to go balls to the wall, to go hard or go because it wasn’t becoming Louis home. I’ve been guilty of that, too, but I think entrepreneurs often think Vuitton or Nike. Even the most successful fashion brands are often only of committing suicide because they have to live this life of fronting,” says hot for five to 10 years. You know, my mother and I were just talking a John. “There is this pressure to take care of so many people. They may be minute ago and she was saying that no matter whatever happens in her life, she’s going to work it out no matter what. It’s always been the same listening to all of their staff members’ problems, but in reality they don’t really have anybody to talk to. This whole mentality of, ‘Look at me, look with me. So I had the drive to keep going and thinking of new things to at my accomplishments, look at my Benz, I’m a boss,’ has put so much involve myself with.” pressure on people that it’s dangerous.”

At the center of those “new things” was an opportunity to star on I’ve come to believe the mark of a truly successful person is that ABC’s Shark Tank as a business executive — a gig that began in 2009 they possess a certain nature of resilience in their attitude, but also an and continues still. John became an instant fan favorite. Through his insatiable hunger to contribute to the world indefinitely. They desire to be investments made on the show, he has raked in more than $7 million. a participant, to engage and create through progressive modes of thought, But he says his success can’t be reduced to the expensive cars, flashy suits or business, or art or literature or opportunity. There is no desire to simply or the notoriety, because money and fame offer no escape from problems. reach a specific destination per se — to anchor recognition and exaltation “When I was first starting out,” he says, “ I used to think, 26

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COVER STORY

and then just exit the scene once a monetary or popularity goal has been reached. They wish to be alive and active within their quest, to toss the ball back and forth in tandem, and to birth something of value. It’s not solely about the glory; it’s about contribution. As their wealth grows, their heart grows. I get the feeling that John demonstrates the epitome of this concept.

A couple of years ago, despite having amassed an estimated net worth of $250 million from his appearances, investments and string of companies, including the establishment of a brand consulting and management firm called The Shark Group, he thought of yet another offering of contribution.

After having published four successful books, one of which, “The Power of Broke,” held strong on the New York Times bestseller list for weeks, John had a flash of inspiration to write another.

“I was texting ‘Rise and Grind’ to people every morning, and posting it to my social media,” says John. “Then I thought, OK, I’m going into my eighth year of Shark Tank. I have 16 companies. I have a brand new daughter and two that are grown. I’m almost 50. How can I be more efficient with my day? Daymond John at 25 worked 18-hour days, but at 49 I can’t do that. So I went out to talk to all of these highly successful people and asked them, ‘Can you give me some tips about how you execute your days?’ I began to notice that all successful people have pretty similar habits the first 90 minutes of every day. I then realized I had a book.”

When people see their bosses or mentors breeze into the workplace, ready to roll, or they spot an influential person on television, social media or Youtube whom they admire, they are only observing them after they have pulled themselves together. John says he was most interested in the question: “What do all of these people who are so admired and successful — what do they do to get ready? That’s what I wanted to find out,” he says. “I knew other people would benefit from hearing from these people as well.”

The book, which became an instant New York Times bestseller, is sort of an infinite number of books contained within a single bound. It transcends age, industry, interest, religion, and personality. The goal of its creation was for the tools within it to be applied to a multitude of frames within the trajectory of a person’s life. It can be picked up over and over again throughout a single journey, but it will never be the same book for them as it was the time before.

“When it was coming together, I realized that I wanted it to be everlasting. I want somebody to read it at 30 years old and say, ‘I want to work like this guy or that guy. I like what they are doing.’ But then I want them to be able to come back to the book at 50 and say, ‘You know, I connect with the way Joel Osteen works.’ It’s for the working single mother who wants to be more efficient in her day. It’s for the new entrepreneur and the seasoned ones,” says John.

As for his own personal tips for taking reign over his days — anchoring the power of the “Rise and Grind”?

“First of all, never answer any emails within the first hour, THECONNECTMAGAZINE.COM

because all of those emails are somebody else telling you their problems. You don’t need to start your day thinking about the rest of the world’s problems. Also, don’t go on social media either — even if it’s my social media,’” he says, laughing.

“Everybody on social media is sexier and skinnier, and happier — except they’re not. The truth is they are all screwed up just like everybody else.”

John’s philosophy seems to be simple yet earth-shattering: If you enter into consciousness already focusing on how high everyone else seems to be climbing, how fabulous everybody but you is looking and how rich your competition is becoming, you’ve already lost yourself by breakfast.

“If you wake up in the morning taking on the burn of everybody else’s problems, and feeling depressed watching everybody else’s success, then you’ve already started your day off bad,” he says. “But if you wake up and meditate, set goals, pray, work out, or whatever else that is going to feed you and serve you, you are setting yourself up to be better equipped and in total control of your day. That system of routine spent focusing on themselves is what every single successful person in that book has in common.”

John means serious business, but he has a sense of humor, too.

When asked to examine his whole life and all of its multitude of stops and starts, highs and lows, straight lines and jagged angles, while honing in on the one thing he is sure to have executed absolutely right, he says, half-joking, “I’m thankful that I haven’t publicly embarrassed myself as much as I could have.”

His answers are refreshingly authentic, fair and even modest at times, but never in a self-deprecating, nor syrupy way.

“Look, we can get mad at these Justin Biebers all day long, but I wouldn’t want you to have had 1,000 cell phones on me when I was 16 years-old. Do you know how stupid I was at 16? Or at 25 even? Thank God the world doesn’t know how stupid I am — or was,” he says with a laugh.

But then his tone turns a bit more contemplative. “I’m proud of everything I’ve done, but there is nothing in my life I can look at and think I did it completely right and never messed up. I’ve had failures, but all failures have made room for something else,” he says. “I’m extremely proud that I’ve been able to employ a lot of people. I’ve taken friends of mine out of the neighborhood or out of Red Lobster and given them opportunities. I was able to know that they weren’t going to be let go of a job because of their gender, or religion or the color of their skin. They were either going to prosper or they were going to fail, but it would be according to their work ethic and nothing else. I’ve been able to see those people raise their kids and, in some cases, grandkids. So I gave them opportunities that they will then pass on in their families.”

Before I have a chance to respond, he is prompt to add, “I have never made anybody successful, though. I’ve given them opportunities, but I didn’t make anybody successful. I guess that’s what I want people to get most of all: People can only ever make themselves successful. Nobody else but you is ever going to be able to do it for you. That’s just the way it is.”

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HOSPITALITY

WHERE HISTORY, HOSPITALITY & RESTORATION COLLIDE:

THIS ICONIC SOUTHERN EATERY WELCOMES ALL TO SIT AT THEIR TABLE WRITTEN BY: LACEY JOHNSON

A

lady named Francis came in to show me where she was when a white woman put a cigarette out on her arm,” says Tom Morales, successful restaurateur and Founder of TomKats Hospitality in Nashville, Tennessee, while attempting to convey the sense of purpose and responsibility he holds for his most recent venture — the renovated Woolworth on 5th.

“She still has the scar from it, too. But when I took her to the lunch counter and showed her around the restaurant, she was all smiles.”

Although the majority of Nashville residents likely remember the 30,000-square-foot building at 221 Fifth Ave. N. for its 20-year stretch as a Dollar General store, the space has long been packed full of chilling secrets that were not only significant to local history, but to United States Civil Rights history.

Having first parted its doors for the public as a five-and-dime department store in 1913, the Woolworth building became a hot spot for socializing.

The lunch counter opened in 1925, where its bologna sandwiches and soda fountain were magnets for children, teens and young adults. But, more than 30 years later, it would become a history-making stage set for racial protest.

On Feb. 13, 1960, a group of African-American college students made their courageous trek through the streets of downtown Nashville, targeting two businesses: Woolworth on 5th and Kress and McClellan. Their goal was to desegregate Nashville lunch counters. They were not attempting to start a revolt with their fists, nor words shouted in angst. They merely planted their bodies into the counter seats as a request to be granted a primary right — to be served a simple meal like everyone else. It was something they demanded for themselves, as well as the generations that would follow them. But they were not granted this request. Instead, they were physically and verbally attacked, mocked, scolded, spit at and demanded to leave.

Two weeks later, the group returned — this time with 200 others marching in protest alongside them. This not only caused an outrage among the community, but led to a multitude of arrests — one of them being 20-year-old John Lewis, now Congressman and prominent Civil Rights leader — and spawned a fury of national media attention.

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Morales, a Nashville native, grew up frequenting Woolworth, most often accompanying his mother on shopping expeditions as she browsed the sales racks. He laughs as he recalls having been bribed with sweet and creamy confections in exchange for good behavior. In his mind’s eye, he can still call upon a vivid image of what that space looked like in 1960. He can still smell the hot grille and taste the chocolate milkshakes he and his brothers shared at the lunch counter. “I remember being there once and asking my mother why the water fountains by the bathrooms were labeled ‘Colored’ and ‘White Only.’ I was about 6 or 7 seven years old then, and I remember it being so confusing,” says Morales.

When he stepped foot into the empty space in 2015, after having long held a desire to purchase and restore it, he was struck with the capacity of what it represented; he was standing on sacred ground.

Morales and his partners hurled themselves into its renovation process immediately, sensing the store’s essence was alive and ripe underneath so many years of having been covered up, though they had no inkling of how much still remained to be rediscovered.

“The Dollar General had drop ceilings, and only occupied a small amount of the building’s space. When we started the renovation, we didn’t know what we had, so we pulled the drop ceilings out, and what we saw was remarkable,” he says.

Morales recalls gazing up at the ceiling for the first time upon its removal, being riddled with chills. “We all looked up there and saw that all of the original air conditioning ducts, the railing, and all of the art deco crown molding were still there, totally intact. Then we took the air conditioners out and saw the original floors to the upstairs. We couldn’t believe it,” he says.

Its spirit had always been there, resting in waiting — as though asking to be returned to light.

“If you look at Southern history, particularly the Civil War, negative history is often covered up. People don’t want to talk about it,” says Morales.

“That’s what happened with this space. But the things that happen never go away. So, in this situation, they covered it up, but we peeled it back.”

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HOSPITALITY

Morales and his crew saved the exposed tile that was up on the mezzanine, near where John Lewis was arrested. “People go up there and touch it,” say Morales. “Like they’re trying to connect with it.”

Perhaps as though to answer the cries of yesterday, saying, “We’re trying to make it right. Thank you for fighting so hard.”

Morales and his team were provided photographs from the Nashville Public Library, each plucked from its Civil Rights room. They studied every photograph diligently, being guided throughout the recreation of the lunch counter. Although they weren’t able to keep components of all remnants, they kept fragments of lots of things. The original crown molding was preserved and restored, as well as the display cases and terrazzo flooring.

Out of his string of successful projects parented by his company, which includes popular night spot Acme Feed & Seed, a revamping of the famous Loveless Cafe, elegant seafood-centric destination Fin & Pearl and a spread of others, Morales says Woolworth is the one that stirs him most. “From the history and from the heart, Woolworth is the most important project TomKats has ever been involved in, though it has also been the most challenging economically. We spent $6 million renovating that building, trying to just save it.”

Morales believes the process has been carried by a force of divinity.

“We have a very diverse group of investors, and I’ll tell you that a lot of them probably could have invested in things that would have given them a better return. I think all of our investors were led by their hearts,” he says.

Most significantly, the restaurant opened its doors, purely by accident, during Black History Month 2018. “It wasn’t planned or organized at all, it just happened to be the time that worked out,” says Morales. “And that felt like a way the universe spoke to us. It was overwhelming.”

But, for Morales, his sense of purpose stretches deeper than the specific events that took place on that February day in 1960. It’s about paying homage to an entire era.

“Along Jefferson Street and Charlotte, in that whole area of Nashville, there was a significant African-American music scene going on there in the late 50s and early 60s. Think Jimi Hendrix. Little Richard.

Charles ‘Wigg’ Walker. All of them played down there. Well, I did some work for Chet Atkins, and he used to say to me, ‘Man, we used to sneak over and play with them cats…’ Then after a hesitation, he’d say, ‘... because them cats couldn’t come over and play with us.’”

In other words, back then, the white musicians were welcome in the black clubs, but the black musicians were never welcome in the white clubs.

“That always struck me and haunted me. So we knew that we wanted to do more than recreate the lunch counter. We wanted to tip our hats to the African-American community and to that whole era,” says Morales.

Although the main floor serves as the primary dining quarters, the basement floor of Woolworth on 5th, once a dusty and neglected storage space, has been turned into a dashing venue called The New Era Ballroom, and is alive with the sounds of soul, R&B and big-band music every weekend. The likes of legendary soul singer Charles ‘Wigg’ Walker and iconic Gospel artist Bobby Jones pay regular visits to the venue, arousing the guests to their feet. Above the winding staircase, the upstairs mezzanine offers a full bar that is oozing with swank, offering a nostalgic celebration of the era’s mid-century style.

THECONNECTMAGAZINE.COM

“The point is that we are featuring Jefferson Street African-American soul music from that era, and we want people to be able to come out and dance, and feel the spirit of that time. Where all can come and be served a meal and enjoy some great music,” says Morales.

Morales admits that, while they were influenced by the original menu, they did not necessarily borrow from it. “We decided to make our menu a culinary exploration of Southern cuisine,” he says.

Breakfast is served every morning beginning at 7 a.m., where sweet potato pancakes and jalapeño bacon are the standouts. The fried chicken, known for its moist and crispy perfection, is a lunch and dinner favorite, and is most often enjoyed with stewed greens and creamy mashed potatoes. The corn cakes, crafted with pimento cheese, were reportedly ordered by Oprah Winfrey during her recent lunch visit, and are always in high demand. Although Morales says a few dessert items were inspired by the original menu, like milkshakes and sundaes, they added other Southern staples like peach cobbler, banana pudding and coconut cake squares.

The response to the establishment’s debonair vibe, sparkling decor, mouth-watering menu and titillating offerings of entertainment have been met with roaring applause, but the success has been magnified by TomKat’s commitment to honor Civil Rights history. “We had Robert Kennedy, Jr., John Michael Seigenthaler and Ambassador Andrew Young in to speak as a panel beyond the counter. We had a breakfast on Martin Luther King Day, and the energy was indescribable. There have been some powerful, powerful events that have happened in the space,” says Morales.

Many of the sit-ins have returned for the kinds of visits that swarm everyone in the vicinity with goosebumps — including Rip Patton, Diane Nash and Francis, the lady whose scar from a cigarette burn is still visible on her arm. Lewis proudly joined them via Skype on the day of the restaurant’s opening. “Some of them get teary-eyed walking through it,” says Morales. “Some just smile from ear to ear. It’s amazing to witness that alone.”

Morales says their mission is to bring the heartbeat of the African-American community back to the central part of Nashville — encompassing its history, cuisine and entertainment. “Most importantly, we want to represent a place where people know that everyone is always welcome, and all will be extended absolute hospitality,” he says.

The ultimate dream had by Morales is for Winfrey to return for a visit on the 60th anniversary and interview Lewis right in the spot where he was arrested. “The point is not to appropriate history. We’re trying to save history,” says Morales. “To uncover the truth of what happened, while letting everyone see that — you know, what all those people sat in for all those years ago? What they fought for? Well, it did come true. It finally did.”

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FAMILY & RELATIONSHIPS

WE WANT TO KEEP THE ROMANCE ALIVE, SURE - BUT HOW? WRITTEN BY: DAWN MASON

W

HAT DID YOU think of when you heard the word “romance” before getting married? Ladies, did you immediately imagine yourself in a horse drawn carriage with a flawless version of the love of your life? Was he holding a bouquet of fragrant long-stem roses in one hand and an upgrade to your already-upgraded ring in the other? Was he singing your favorite love song—in perfect tune—with the fireworks lighting up a moonlit sky?

Fellas, did the word “romance” transform you into a superhero? Did you carry your damsel-in-distress to a love nest, then to a one-way trip to that extraordinary place way beyond her wildest fantasies?

According to Merriam-Webster, that’s all about right. Romance is defined a few ways: one—a medieval tale based on legend, chivalric love and adventure, or the supernatural, two—a prose narrative treating imaginary characters involved in events remote in time or place and usually heroic, adventurous, or mysterious, and three— a love story, especially in the form of a novel. So in other words, romance is a tale with imaginary characters. Wow. Who would have thought?

It’s no wonder that after marriage, couples find it so hard to “keep the romance alive” when the basic understanding of the word is rooted in unrealistic untruths. Perhaps we simply need to forget the term “romance” and really define what we are trying to do. How do you stay hot for your hubby? How do you keep your mouth watering for your wife? How do we keep the passion going?

Along with the questions come a mortgage, a cable bill that could be another house note, perhaps one child in daycare and another that went from second grade to puberty in a matter of minutes. Add to that nosy, needy in-laws, snoring that keeps you up past 2 a.m., an unsympathetic, tyrannical boss, a leaky roof, unanticipated stress, unreasonable demands, and no vacation in sight. Sounds romantic, right?

You force yourself to sit down and really give thought to keeping the romance —I mean, passion —alive in your marriage. You may or may not have thought about doing horrible things to your spouse in their sleep, especially when the snoring sounds like a buzz saw on rocks, but they are indeed the one you vowed to cherish all of the days of your life. They deserve to feel appreciated, desired, special and loved.

With all that daily life dishes out, how can we make our special someone feel especially special? Ahead are three easy ways to turn up the heat on the passion meter.

ASK THE “WHAT” QUESTIONS, THEN FOLLOW THEM. SEEMS OBVIOUS DOESN’T? Simple but thoughtful questions about what your spouse wants will reveal more than you think. Understanding the “what” and then consistently acting on it will push the passion tank back to full. It’s important to ask specific questions to discover how to make your loved one’s heart skip a beat again. You can ask: “What made you fall in love with me?” or “What is something I did when we were dating that blew you away?”

Perhaps it was when you took her on a surprise date for a sandwich picnic at the lake. You thought it was just a date, but now you THECONNECTMAGAZINE.COM

understand she appreciated your taking the time to carefully plan a day just for her. The effort is what made her feel like the most important person in your world. Mitch Temple, contributor to Focus on the Family, a global Christian ministry said: “Attraction often follows on the heels of serving each other like you did in the early years of your relationship. Often it’s the little things that count – not the big ones.”

LEARN THEIR LOVE LANGUAGE, THEN MASTER IT. The five love languages defines how people speak and understand emotional love. According to Gary Chapman, author of The Five Love Languages, “Once you identify and learn to speak your spouse’s primary love language, you will have discovered the key to a long-lasting, loving marriage. Love need not evaporate after the wedding, but to keep it alive, most of us will have to put forth the effort to learn a secondary love language. We cannot rely on our native tongue if our spouse does not understand it.”

Take the test together at www.5lovelanguages.com. Let’s say her test reveals her primary love language is “acts of service.” Run her a bubble bath, grab the kids and the keys to her car, tell her to relax and do absolutely nothing for three hours. If you come home three hours later with her car full of gas and the kiddos out of gas, flames will be fire hot and your love tank is guaranteed to be overflowing.

MAKE TIME ALL THE TIME. We certainly cannot expect to be on our loved ones minds every hour of every day. We have kids to raise, corporate ladders to climb, family to help, bills to pay and health to improve, but with all of that we absolutely must make time for our better half. People often frown at scheduling time. Whether it’s date night, passion-play night, or just TV night with no kids, we must remove all of the noise of life to the side for a time and focus attention on strengthening that primary relationship. “At the beginning of a relationship, the excitement and anxiety of connecting with a new partner makes time together a top priority,” psychologist Ryan Howes said. “When that urgency goes away and we start to feel comfortable, time for the relationship becomes a lower priority.” But, Howes said, “if we don’t make time to feed the relationship, it will wither, it may die.” Schedule the sitter, then schedule a backup sitter, turn off the cell phone, disconnect from the laptop, and show your spouse just how truly special they are.

In fairytales, wedded bliss lasts happily ever-after. In real life, the honeymoon phase averages two years. When spontaneity can no longer compete with after-school sports schedules, and the excitement of an all-night love fest is nonexistent after a 12-hour shift, remember that marriage is the constant. After the dust settles, the kids are gone, the house is paid off, and you’ve bid the job adieu, who will be standing by your side? The one you vowed to cherish all of the days of your life.

And they deserve to feel appreciated, desired, special, and loved.

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SUCCESS

THIS SUPERMOM CEO

EMPOWERS & PRESERVES THROUGH HER MULTI-MILLION DOLLAR SKINCARE BUSINESS WRITTEN BY: TONI LEPESKA

“I

DIDN’T START OUT being a hard worker,” she said.

“In fact, I’m physically lazy. I assign people things to get work done.”

Can you imagine that? An entrepreneur who built a multi-million dollar skin care company while homeschooling 14 children naming herself among the slothful?

She’s apparently set the bar high because she also doesn’t feel that she has, as they say, arrived. There’s still too much to do. With her family.

With her company. With the world.

Tammie Umbel travels to Third World countries for natural products to create economic opportunities for their citizens. To save forests, too.

To save wildlife.

On all fronts, the job is far from finished.

“I’m not super excited until I hit all the retailers, and I’m on all the shelves I want to be on,” said the founder of Shea Terra Organics, maker of skin products like Rose Hips Black Soap Facial Wash for acne and Black Seed Oil for eczema. “I’m not there yet. I don’t have all my kids in college yet. My company’s not as widely distributed yet. When I’m there, I’ll feel successful.”

Perhaps it’s that goal-driven attitude that prohibits 45-yearold Umbel from putting herself in the category of other successful entrepreneurs. All her life she’s wanted to accomplish things — big, impactful things. She grew up hurting for people and for animals. She saw them on television. They lived in places that, as an impoverished child, she could only dream of visiting.

Umbel grew up in Maryland, but she considers herself a child of the Southeast because of her family connections to the region. Her mom had an eighth-grade education. Her father wasn’t present. She lived on 39 cent hamburgers, but Umbel knew greatness was within her. “I didn’t identify with all that. That wasn’t me,” she said. “That wasn’t my future. [I was] going somewhere. When I was 3, I used to tell my mother I was going to 34

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be a lawyer … and the first woman president. No one ever told me you can’t do that.”

At 16, she met her husband, Syed Ishaq, at a mosque. He’d recently migrated to the States from Pakistan. Of 15 percent German ancestry, Tammie Umbel had always been fascinated with different cultures. She watched public television commercials about hungry children living with “bloated bodies and flies” in far-away lands. Her best friend was from Korea. After getting married, she visited her husband’s native country. She felt television romanticized the place. “It’s not the same when you see it in person,” she said.

At 18, she had her first child. Before the Internet became a popular spot for selling things, Umbel started a clothing company that specialized in ethnic wear. She created swatches and carried them from place to place.

“You had to match sizes. There was a lot of tension. Stress. I shut it down and said I’d never start another company.”

She was the mother of four by then. Fast forward six years and additional children. If she was going to create economic opportunities, to be an employer, she’d have to get involved in something she believed in, Umbel decided. Not a mere job. The images of the impoverished in countries far away still hung in her mind. She wanted to help them.

Without negatively impacting the planet. And then she noticed the women at her mosque.

Umbel and her husband lived in Washington D.C. and attended a mosque near Embassy Row, where women from all over the world lived and worked. “They had these unique ways of beautifying themselves naturally,” Umbel said.

Her entrepreneur brain fused her passions into what has become a 20-year-old brand, Shea Terra Organics, with 300 product lines – including soaps, oils, body washes and lotions. Her business is based near Dulles International Airport in Washington, D.C., where she employs about a THECONNECTMAGAZINE.COM

SUCCESS

dozen people. Shea Terra, which can be found in Vitamin Shoppe stores, also has a vital online presence. Umbel typically manages operations from her home a half-hour away from the factory and spends her workday with kids in tow while her husband works as a kidney specialist. Their youngest child is 5 and their oldest is 26. Six of them are in college.

The family works together on household tasks. Her husband, for example, likes to cook.

“We just keep moving,” she said. “For me, it’s like if you have an hour on your hands, you find something you could be doing. We don’t have a schedule.”

Though the youngest children usually travel with her, Umbel expects to take her first work trip without them this year. She’s headed to Las Vegas for 10-minute meetings with buyers who represent stores like Whole Foods and Sprouts. She hopes this will propel her product onto more shelves.

The children also have traveled to far away countries with Umbel in search of ingredients that work on skin and help the impoverished yet do not adversely impact the environment. Ingredients in the Rose Hips Black Soap – made not from lye but from a plant – come from a woman in Nigeria. Marula oil originates from a Christian woman who began harvesting it from wild trees after losing her job in a diamond mine in the Republic of Namibia. Rose Water comes from a women’s cooperative in Morocco, from a valley where roses have “the most beautiful perfume.”

She says it as if she’s smelled the roses herself and, in fact, she has.

Her commitment to customers is that she’ll never “water down” or change her formula to be anything other than truly natural.

The co-founder and executive director of Wildlife Friendly Enterprise Network, Julie Stein, became acquainted with Umbel five years ago. One way the organization protects wildlife is by certifying products to assure consumers that a product was harvested or created in a way that nurtures THECONNECTMAGAZINE.COM

the coexistence of people and nature. Its registered trademarks include Certified Wildlife Friendly® and Wildlife Friendly®. Umbel uses its certifying services.

“Tammie, like many of the eco-entrepreneurs who are interested in sourcing our Wildlife Friendly™ ingredients, has a strong interest in products that support local communities, honor indigenous knowledge, and protect wildlife,” Stein said. “We love working with companies like Shea Terra that believes in our mission and vision for the world.

“We want to give consumers a way to vote their values with their purchases, and forward-thinking companies like Shea Terra Organics allow that to happen,” Stein said. “The guidelines which govern our certification mean that products with our label, by definition, protect watersheds and support other ecosystem services like clean air, healthy soil, as well as thriving wildlife populations. In an environment where wildlife thrive, so do people. We believe that empowered consumers can change the world — but consumers need like-minded companies that are willing to do the hard work and research to find truly sustainable products.”

Don’t doubt, Umbel is up to that challenge. Up to hard work.

The market is “hugely conscious” about protecting the environment compared to when she started, according to Umbel, but she isn’t satisfied with the pace of progress. In fact, she is willing to be bought out in exchange for a bigger platform for the cause.

“There’s so much work to be done, and we’re fighting against the clock,” Umbel said. “I don’t have the means to make that issue big enough in people’s minds, so people need to realize how their purchasing power is affecting wildlife. My hope is that I’m either going to find a company that really wants to promote me … Or a really big company that will buy me out and stick to what I’m trying to do.”

In the meantime, Umbel is likely to be in South Africa, and perhaps Ethiopia, working hard and saving one piece of the world at a time.

THE CONNECT MAGAZINE | SUMMER 2018

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MARKETING

4 New & Effective Ways to Connect With Your Customers on

GOOGLE WRITTEN BY: RAQUELLE DICKERSON | SEO.COM

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HEN WE REALLY consider statistics like these, we can see that, even if your customers are local, chances are their first interactions with your business will be online.

This means it’s more vital than ever to take advantage of the tools that Google offers inside the Google My Business platform.

Over the previous year, Google has made several improvements to this service that, sadly, not a lot of businesses are using to their full extent. Either they’re unaware that they exist, or they simply don’t have the time to delve into yet another online marketing thing.

I get it; it’s a lot to consider. But learning how to take advantage of these features can increase your visibility online, as well as increase your ability to engage with more local customers.

And the best part? All of these tools are free.

They will only cost you a little time. But probably not as much as you might think.

All you have to do is log in to your Google My Business account (or create your account) and then get started with some of these features.

1. BUILD A NEW WEBSITE — FOR FREE. Many companies think of their website as little more than an online business card, so the last time they updated it was back when flashing gifs and pop up ads were considered the pinnacle of online design.

Or maybe small companies were convinced that as long as they had a busy Facebook presence, they wouldn’t need to invest so much in a website.

However, if you really want to reach your local customers through Google, you need an updated website that includes your up-to-date business information. This is how you’re going to be able to get some of those “where to by” or “near me” searchers.

Google My Business has a free website builder that lets you create a professional-looking, mobile-friendly website in minutes.

All the information that you have added into your Google Listing will auto-populate into your new website, and auto-update whenever you change it.

It’s not going to be a fancy custom site, but according to internal Google research, business listings with a website get 25-35 percent more clicks.

2. POST ABOUT EVENTS, PROMOTIONS, AND MORE — RIGHT ON GOOGLE. It’s no secret that Facebook reach is declining, so businesses are looking for new alternatives to reach customers.

Now, you can share posts that show up when people find your business on Search and Maps. These posts are highlighted right in your local listing, and customers will be able to see your most recent specials or seasonal offerings.

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According to Ipsos research, 50 percent of people look for promotions or discounts online, so when you share the latest offers, upcoming events, and even your latest news, you will give more potential customers a reason to check out your company.

You can even use the platform to see how well each and every post performed and modify your future posts accordingly.

3. CONNECT WITH YOUR CUSTOMERS BY ANSWERING THEIR QUESTIONS DIRECTLY The new Q&A feature allows you to answer questions from potential customers, and highlight top responses, so that people can get the most important info about your business right away.

The process is pretty simple. Customers are able to ask questions right on your business listing. If you start to notice that a lot of people have the same general questions or concerns, you can pin the most frequently asked questions right at the top along with the best answer.

This has the benefit of saving you the time of repeatedly answering the same questions. More importantly, though, it saves your potential customers a lot of time, too. When they see that you’ve already answered their questions before they could even ask them, it will give them all the more reason to immediately start connecting with you.

4. START MESSAGING WITH YOUR CUSTOMERS FROM GOOGLE. Let’s face it, customers don’t always have time to call when they want to reach out to your business.

Google My Business allows you to chat directly with customers who find your business listing on Google Search.

You will need to provide a phone number that can receive SMS messages, but this number will remain private, so you and your customers can communicate safely, quickly, and easily. (Currently, this functionality is available in the U.S., Brazil, Canada, and India).

The key to using this tool effectively is to always be responsive.

When people chat you through this feature, they’re expecting immediate responses – just like when they text anyone else. If you treat it like an email that you’ll get to in a couple days, you’ll just be giving them a couple days to find your competitors.

The trends in online marketing continue to change, and as more and more people rely on local searches to discover local businesses, there’s no better time to start using these free resources.

All you need to get started is a verified Google My Business listing.

From there, you can start building a strong foundation for your future online marketing endeavors.

THECONNECTMAGAZINE.COM

ENTREPRENEURSHIP

THE KEY INGREDIENT TO UNSTOPPABLE ENTREPRENEURSHIP? IT MAY NOT BE WHAT YOU THINK WRITTEN BY: ANNA-VIJA MCCLAIN PHOTOS BY: ELISENDA SIMMONS PHOTOGRAPHY

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ANT TO BE a successful entrepreneur? Then stop ‘grinding’ it out and start building the right team.

Like, now.

When I started my marketing business, I was just coming off of an eight-year career in private club management. While I certainly learned a lot, most of that time was spent learning about what not to do. I was miserable and depressed, experiencing major anxiety and panic attacks. After my departure from this position, rather than just finding a new job and going to work for someone else, I told myself I could be super successful all on my own. It would just be me, alone in my spare bedroom, ‘grinding.’ That would be all I would ever need.

I was very, very wrong.

There was no shortage of opportunity from the beginning, and in the first six months of opening my company, I took on 17 new clients.

However, no matter how I tried to manage everything, I would soon have to admit to myself that I needed help. After more than a few sleepless nights, I decided to offer a part-time contractor position to someone who had worked for me previously.

My business continued to grow, so the task of finding good people and successfully training and integrating them with the team is one I continue to have to this day. My phenomenal team is very supportive of me as their leader and mentor, and as an entrepreneur and an individual.

I am a successful entrepreneur not because I grind harder than anyone else, but because of the amazing people on my team and the environment I have created to support their success.

The good news? You can be, too.

The Truth About the Entrepreneurs Who Have Lasting Success We’ve all heard the statistics. Only about 20 percent of new businesses last beyond the first year. Another 50 percent drop off in the following five years, and less than one-third are still hanging on 10 years later.

In his book, “The E-Myth Revisited,” Michael E. Gerber tells the classic tale of the new entrepreneur. His book was such a perfect

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encapsulation of my journey that it made me tear up as he described a person in a worker bee position at an already established company who is disappointed with their pay, their boss, and their workload. Telling themselves they can do it better, they leave to open their own company.

But the new business owner quickly becomes overwhelmed by thinking that if they can work 14, 16, 18+ hour days, they can be successful.

The truth is, this is counter-productive and self-limiting. If you want to be one of the businesses that makes it well past your 10-year mark, you have to start by taking care of yourself, employing the right people to help you, and building repeatable, teachable processes within your business.

The Need Is Real Not long ago, I was in LA for the Business Builder Mastermind program with Tai Lopez. At the event, approximately 70 entrepreneurs gathered to share their resources, connections, and general knowledge.

We were broken into several small groups during the day to share our top challenges in business and seek advice and support from others in the group. What was the number one problem shared from people of all levels, which included those who had just started out and those who were making millions of dollars a year? They were all saying, “I work too much; I need to find reliable, quality help.”

As entrepreneurs, we treat busyness like a merit badge. ‘I’m just SO busy with my business, there’s no way I can…’ Fill in the blank with something you have skipped out on in the past week or two because your email inbox was overflowing or some other project needed attention and you’re convinced you are the only one who can get it done.

You aren’t.

While you may think that you are doing well for your business by being the person who runs everything, you’re actually doing the opposite. When you are overworked, not sleeping enough, and not stepping away to give your mind and body a break, your brain’s cognitive function decreases.

If you want to be a successful entrepreneur, you will have to learn to share the workload.

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The Support System I’m not going to lie to you and make it sound like you can just walk out onto the street, find some magical unicorn employee who knows how to run your business as well as you do, and start vacationing in the Bahamas next week. But, if you employ a system to qualify new staff members and give them what they need to be successful, you can start taking more breaks, and see your business scale to new levels of success.

Below are some steps to help you achieve this.

1. Start writing down all the things you don’t want to do.

Don’t have time to sit down and make a job description? Just keep a notepad nearby throughout the day. While you’re going through your daily routine, write down everything that you would prefer not to do or could teach someone else. Within a couple of days you’ll have a job description.

2. Get referrals.

When it comes to my business and the people who will be running it, my first choice is a referral. Come up with the top 15 to 20 people you know that have a lot of contacts, and send them an email telling them that your business is growing and you are looking for awesome team members. Include your job description and note they should be someone they would hire themselves.

3. Interview like you are dating.

I’m not suggesting you break any HR laws here! I am suggesting you think about interviewing more like the start of a long-term relationship rather than the completion of a professional checklist. Try asking, “What makes you happiest?” If someone tells you it is when they’re around people, don’t give them an administrative job that will keep them locked in an office alone all day, every day. No one will win.

I also highly recommend having every applicant take a free DISC test after the first interview so you can verify that their internal motivations match the job description.

4. Have a training plan.

We’ve all had this first day experience: excited to learn, but quickly thrown into the deep end without any training or resources to keep you afloat. How excited were you to come back on day two? Even the best employees will leave you if they don’t feel supported.

Pick up your cell phone and start recording training videos. You don’t have to find more time in your day to do this; literally just start THECONNECTMAGAZINE.COM

recording yourself doing it. Record yourself as you train, save all the videos with a title of the task you are performing and you now have a training library.

5. Treat people with respect.

Don’t hire an assistant and yell at them all day. Teach them how you want things to be done, and empower them to make their own decisions. Don’t bring on a manager and then constantly undermine their authority with other staff members. Set expectations for results and encourage them to find creative ways to reach them.

If you find a team of high-performing professionals, don’t micromanage everything they do. Hire the best, and then be open to their improvement and innovation to get the best results.

6. Cultivate culture.

Every three months I host a staff social event at my house. Everyone comes over with their spouses, children, and dogs. We eat, drink, laugh, celebrate each other, and catch up. We have fun together.

Quarterly, my entire team gets together to go over the state of the company. We review the company numbers in full transparency, talk about the goals that we hit or missed, and set new ones for the upcoming quarter, making sure the entire team stays informed.

Everyone is asked to contribute, and we take a break in the middle to eat lunch together.

Some of your company’s biggest innovations may come from staff that feel appreciated.

Just Stop Stop and take three really big deep breaths; think of three things that you could get help with from someone else. Stop and think of three things that you missed out on recently because you were too busy working.

When you stop ‘grinding’ and ‘hustling’ 24/7, your brain can start to think more clearly. You can start to work smarter. You can start to be the successful entrepreneur you have always wanted to be!

Anna-Vija is an entrepreneur with a focus on building small businesses through efficient systems and company culture. She is a public speaker, business coach, and the founder of the online program Build Your Damn Business. Her company, Piccolo Marketing, offers strategy and marketing services to business owners that need affordable solutions with expert execution.

Feedback and questions can be directed to hello@annavija.com.

THE CONNECT MAGAZINE | SUMMER 2018

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ARTS & CULTURE

When Childhood Dreams Become Massive Revenue:

THE MUSEUM OF ICE CREAM Proves the Power of Experience

WRITTEN BY: DENNIS UPKINS | PHOTOS BY: GRIFFIN LIPSON

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I scream, you scream, we all scream for ice cream.

ERHAPS NOT ALL of us scream for it, not yet. If the great minds behind the Museum of Ice Cream (MOIC) have their way, however, that will soon change, and the popular slogan will become a reality.

MOIC is not your average ice cream parlor, nor is it your average museum. It’s a pop-up, walkthrough art installation that is ideal for Instagram and other social media. Having debuted in 2016 in New York City, MOIC has since established locations in Los Angeles, San Francisco, and Miami, and it is showing no signs of losing momentum.

A seemingly overnight sensation on the East and West coasts, much of MOIC’s success can be traced to word of mouth on social media where it has become regularly hot and trending topic. The fact that MOIC has been plugged on Instagram by A-list celebrities such as David Beckham, Gwen Stefani, Kim Kardashian and Beyonce hasn’t exactly harmed publicity or sales either. The $38 tickets to visit the installation are often sold out.

For many patrons, MOIC not only lives up to the hype; it surpasses it.

In a Yelp review, a visitor named Lindsey wrote she visited Los Angeles solely to tour MOIC. 40

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“I’m 24, and I felt like a kid,” the Greensboro native wrote. “I flew from North Carolina just to go to this museum. I was really impressed.

I saw it on Kylie Jenner’s Snapchat, and it looked so fun. Every room is so intriguing. You can taste, touch and smell in most of the rooms.

I won’t give away too many details because you should try it yourself.”

A Los Angeles local, Raquel F., expressed similar sentiments in her Yelp review.

“I had such a great time,” she wrote. “The long wait to get tickets was so worth it. I love art, and this was just such a cute and unique experience. You get adorable art and you’re given treats. What can be better than that? Almost every room is themed differently with a treat to match the theme. I can’t tell you how much I loved this concept. I was so excited to see what was next.”

Raquel F. added, “This place is an oasis for people who love to post adorable pictures on their social media pages. I would come back just for the pics alone! The treats are just a bonus.”

So how did this unlikely business venture become a tour de force?

“We lead with the honest belief that ice cream has the power to change the world, and anything is possible,” the official website reports.

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“The Museum of Ice Cream was born under the premise that ice cream is a universal symbol of joy, a personal pleasure, and a transportive vehicle for anyone’s imagination. Since day one, MOIC has led with intention, fun, and inclusivity; a shared and felt optimism at its core.”

According to Maryellis Bunn, founder and creative director, the success of MOIC stems from her lifelong love for ice cream and a huge desire to share it with the rest of the world.

“I love ice cream,” Bunn said in an interview with Forbes. “Any day of the week it brings me so much joy… I was having all these conversations about how to connect with millennial audiences in an experiential space.”

Bunn says that the aesthetics for much of MOIC are childhood musings come to life.

“I designed all the rooms myself,” Bunn said. “A lot of the ideals were childhood dreams I had. I grew up by the ocean, and I thought it would be so amazing if the ocean were full of sprinkles, and I could swim in them.”

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Creating successful commercial opportunities is nothing new for Bunn. She grew up in Laguna Beach, California where as a child she sold popsicles at markup to tourists visiting the beach. Bunn attended college at New York University and then worked as the head of forecasting and innovation at Time, Inc. “I was always just hustling,” Bunn said.

In an interview with Mercury News, the 26-year-old founder added, “It’s all about fun and feeling like a kid again. Everyone loves ice cream.

It’s a way to bring people together.”

Multisensory eating establishments traditionally have been a formula for commercial and financial success. Examples range from Planet Hollywood, Hard Rock Cafe, Cheesecake Factory, the Coca Cola Factory, and even local bohemian coffee shops. However, MOIC takes the experience to the next level. Between the unique ice cream flavors, the surreal and imagination-themed layout of the installations and the popularity of each location, MOIC for all intents and purposes is a real-life 21st Century ice cream equivalent of Willy Wonka’s Chocolate Factory whose key demographic is millennials. While Mr. Wonka’s staff THE CONNECT MAGAZINE | SUMMER 2018

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consisted of Oompa Loompas, MOIC’s staff — nicknamed the Pink Army — consists of employees whose average age is 20.

Staff members regularly meet and have team-building exercises to keep the enthusiasm and energy needed to work at such a high-pace, high-traffic job.

“You need that support in the back,” one manager said, “so people will want to come and work this super, high-energy job every single day and not burn out.”

Some of the Pink Army soldiers are graduates of Ivy League universities such as Berkeley and Stanford. For some, it’s a gig to pay bills. For others, the job opens doors to more important opportunities.

Chris, an aspiring actor, said working for MOIC and being featured regularly in the official Instagram pics has done wonders to increase his visibility at reads and auditions.

“That’s where I like to build my brand,” Chris said. “It kind of gets my name out there, too.”

Syd, a former hospital administrator, said she was at a crossroads before landing a job at MOIC. A job, according to her, came right on time.

“In my 20s, it is my time to explore different things,” she said.

“Plus, I had a rough patch in my personal life, and I was looking for more joy. It’s pushed me as a human being, and I love it.”

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A youthful, enthusiastic and energetic staff pool is needed for the traffic each location garners. On average, about 1,700 people a day make their way through MOIC. As dedicated as it is to imagination, MOIC is as committed to diversity and progressivism. In one installation, two sculptures were renamed “Gloria” and “Harvey” as a tribute to iconic feminist Gloria Steinem and the late gay rights activist Harvey Milk. In age of social justice activism, the small gesture is a testament to the fact that this brand’s founder knows her customer base.

So what lies ahead for MOIC? If you can’t make it to one of the pop-up fun houses but want a taste of the magic, worry not. MOIC is joining forces with Target to release an exclusive brand in summer 2018. The flavors include Pinata, Sprinkle Pool, Vanillionaire, Chocolate Crush, Cherrylicious, Churro Churro and Nana Bread. MOIC also is collaborating with Target to release a line of ice cream-themed children’s clothing in the not-too-distant future.

Uniting and inspiring the world through imagination, the museum serves as a reminder that with love and determination, perhaps anything is possible.

For more information on MOIC, visit www.museumoficecream.com.

THECONNECTMAGAZINE.COM

ENTERTAINMENT

AN AMBITIOUS FORCE TO BEHOLD:

BEHIND THE SCENES WITH RISING ACTRESS

WRITTEN BY: KEELAH JACKSON

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FTER SPEAKING WITH Ava Justin, no one could rightfully say there aren’t any focused pre-teen professionals in the entertainment industry. This hardworking actress, model, student, athlete and entrepreneur-extraordinaire is a phenom on the rise. With a strong support system of family and friends, Justin claims to conquer whatever crosses her path with prayer, gusto and tenacity.

As a child actress, Justin has already tucked an extensive resume under her belt. She recently starred in No Regrets with Brian White and Sharon Leal, appeared on Nickelodeon’s 2017 Kids’ Choice Awards, and is currently filming on large features. During her growing (yet expansive) acting career, Justin has worked with heavy-hitting actors such as Loretta Devine and Laurence Fishburne.

An actress by trade, Justin has other passions that fuel her love for life as well. She is a straight-A student, an expressive model, a fastpitch softball pitcher with a mean arm, and she even has a line of cosmetics she proudly crafts with love and care.

I recently spoke with Justin about her many current projects and life in general. I was moved by the eloquence, wisdom and purpose of this brilliant, young force. It is evident that she is on a mission to make the world a better place in everything she says and does.

Watch out, world! Ava Justin is coming up.

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ON HER LIFE AND MINDSET Keelah Jackson: Actress, entrepreneur, young force on the rise…

What and how would you describe yourself at this point in life?

Ava Justin: I’m Ava Justin. I’m 12 years old. Modeling and acting are my passions. I’m also a social media influencer. I have a page on Instagram that is growing. I’m currently in a movie called Brother’s Keeper with the Laurence Fishburne and Milo Gibson (Yes, Mel’s son!). I am so grateful and blessed. God is leading me in so many awesome directions!

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ENTERTAINMENT

the next role I get will be better and meant for me. I just keep working at it, taking acting classes, and doing my best going for it.

KJ: On the positive side of acting, what advice would you give to anyone who chooses to pursue acting as a full-time passion?

AJ: Ignore fame and money. Truly enjoy it and have fun. I love acting.

Don’t do it if you don’t love it. Put in the work, and everything will work out. Really, if you don’t enjoy what you’re doing, there’s no point in doing it.

KJ: You can apply that to life overall.Time is valuable. Don’t waste it on doing things that don’t work for you. Let’s double back to you as “Ava the Entrepreneur”... What inspired you to launch your new line of Ava’s Luxury Cosmetics, and what is the vision for your brand?

AJ: Ava’s Luxury Cosmetics lip balm is my line, and I sell it on Etsy.

I’ve always loved lip balms. I started experimenting with different ingredients, and I am really proud of my products and brand. Its page on Instagram is @avasluxurycosmetics. I feature new products there.

KJ: Do you have a secret sauce for juggling all of your responsibilities — especially being a young woman moving and shaking into young adulthood?

AJ: I try to go with the flow and prioritize. Even though I love acting, school comes before everything. You have to be educated in life.

ON HER PERSONAL INSPIRATIONS AND INTERESTS KJ: What inspires you and why?

AJ: I have a mentality to strive for improvement. Watching others’ hard work is a motivator for me, and I know I can reach my success, too, when I work to get better.

KJ: Who inspires you and why?

AJ: Lena Waithe. She is killing it. She is so inspirational and motivational.

She’s a writer, producer, actor. She’s just amazing.

KJ: What have been some of your favorite hats to wear?

AJ: Out of everything — out of all of my passions and activities — I really love acting and modeling the most. I love being in front of the camera and performing. I also enjoy reporting local stories as a television journalist with KMSP Fox 9 here in Minnesota. Oh, and I enjoy playing softball as pitch.

KJ: You are so talented and gifted. I am impressed.

AJ: Thank you so much. I thank God in everything I do. I try to do my best, and I always pray and ask God to help me. Before auditions and whenever I do anything, I ask God to get the role or whatever it is. If I don’t get the role, then I know something better is coming. I just try to stay focused, and ask God for direction.

KJ: As awesome, fun and glamorous as acting seems and sounds to most people who are not in the entertainment industry, I’m sure there are some drawbacks to acting. What are some drawbacks to acting full time?

AJ: Audition rejections are discouraging. I know that it’s a process to getting the next roll. You have to continue to work hard… continue to audition, but it’s hard when you don’t get a role you want. I just believe THECONNECTMAGAZINE.COM

KJ: You have to find some time to relax, though. How do you chill?

What are some of your hobbies?

AJ: I really love having a swim with friends, going to water parks, spending time with my family and going to the cabin. Reading a good book is relaxing, too.

KJ: What are your favorite subjects to study?

AJ: My school year just ended, and I really had a fabulous year. I got all As! What I learned is that I really like math. (laughs.) Yeah, I had to improve in some areas of math because while I was learning new concepts, I was challenged to work harder. The hard work was so rewarding, though, because I achieved my goals. The whole experience was a confidence booster.

KJ: We’re down to the last question. Is there anything else you want the world to know about you?

AJ: I just want people to have the right mentality in whatever they’re doing. Keep your head up in bad circumstances because it — the situation — can only get better. You can always learn from your mistakes. I try to always learn to improve in life, and that is everything.

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NONPROFIT

CRACKING THE CODE ON HIGHER-PAYING CAREERS WRITTEN BY: PATHWAY LENDING

THIS MOTHER OF THREE LAUNCHED A MEDICAL CODING ACADEMY WITH HELP FROM A NON-PROFIT LENDER.

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ASMINE HALL’S FIRST job was in medical collections. She found a natural talent for understanding the terminology and explaining bills to patients. As a young mother, she was determined to land a high paying career that would allow her to spend more time with her daughter. After seeing a commercial for medical coding school, she decided to earn her Certified Professional Coder (CPC) certification.

“Medical coding condenses a whole medical chart, or a whole patient’s medical history, and into a code,” says Jasmine. “I loved it how I got to use my love for numbers, plus getting my CPC certification would mean a real career instead of just a job.”

Getting that certification, however, would come with a lot of sacrifice.

For a full year, she worked nine-hour shifts during the day and went to class at night, getting home well after the baby was asleep, meaning she’d only seeing her daughter on the way to drop her off at daycare.

“We lived with my mom and she was my absolute backbone,” says Jasmine. “We sacrificed a lot that year, but once I graduated and got my first medical coding job, it was life-changing to be able to provide for my daughter in a way I hadn’t been able to before. I got my own apartment, 46

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I was able to throw my baby a third birthday party, and I paid for everything - I was totally excited to not have to ask my mom for money.”

HER CPC CERTIFICATION HAD OPENED THE DOOR TO OPPORTUNITY, AND JASMINE WAS DETERMINED TO THROW THAT SAME DOOR OPEN FOR OTHER WOMEN LOOKING FOR A BETTER CAREER. Soon, friends and family began asking if Jasmine could teach them medical coding. She did some digging and decided to get certified and launch her own medical coding school. But she would use a different model, one that would strip away the extra courses that for-profit schools include, and let her prepare students to enter the job market in a shorter amount of time and for less money.

BUT WHERE DO YOU FIND THE RESOURCES TO TURN AN IDEA INTO A REAL BUSINESS? “I remember my father saying, ‘go to Pathway Women’s Business Center, use the SBA’s business plan template, ask the church to let you teach classes in their space – use your resources,’” says Jasmine. With a solid business plan, a proven need in the community, and nearly a decade THECONNECTMAGAZINE.COM

NONPROFIT

of teaching experience, she needed one more resource – money to scale.

“I think going into a lender’s office can be intimidating, but Pathway Lending was different. They were supportive and excited about my idea,” says Jasmine. “They said, ‘let’s do this together.’ So after ten years of planning and working toward my dream, MedCode was born.”

With a small business loan from Pathway Lending, Jasmine purchased

NEVER GIVE UP ON YOUR DREAM, I HAD TO STOP TELLING MYSELF IT WASN’T THE RIGHT TIME TO START MY BUSINESS. THERE’S SOMEBODY OUT THERE THAT BELIEVES IN YOU, THERE’S SOMEBODY OUT THERE THAT NEEDS YOU. NOW IS THE TIME TO START. the curriculum license, all the equipment she need to teach, and started meeting with her Pathway Lending business advisor, Phylicia Coleman Moye. Jasmine meets regularly with Phylicia to “roll up their sleeves” and dig into QuickBooks, social media, business systems, and more.

“My meetings with Pathway have been essential to the growth of my business,” says Jasmine. “I’ve spent hours in QuickBooks with Phylicia, making sure everything is set up correctly, that my business is growing, and that I’m accomplishing my goals.”

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“I think Pathway was such a good fit because they treat me the same way that I treat my clients,” says Jasmine. “When they pour that dedication and compassion into me, it just gives me more to pour into my students and my business.”

Jasmine stays with each student through their entire journey.

From their 15-week course and boot camps to prep for the CPC test, to helping secure jobs and building resumes after graduation, Jasmine holds each student’s hand until they find success.

“MedCode is helping solve under-employment – that’s a major issue in our community,” says Jasmine. “There’s so many people out here, especially single mothers, who work jobs but don’t have a career. That’s why we’re offering something that you can expound on. You can go into instructing, or auditing, or compliance. You can travel with this, or you can stay at home.

Jasmine plans to graduate 20-25 students in 2018 and has her sights set on opening up two or three additional MedCode locations in Middle Tennessee within the next five years.

“Never give up on your dream,” says Jasmine. “I had to stop telling myself it wasn’t the right time to start my business. There’s somebody out there that believes in you, there’s somebody out there that needs you. Now is the time to start.”

For information on how Pathway Lending is helping small businesses grow, visit pathwaylending.org

THE CONNECT MAGAZINE | SUMMER 2018

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HEALTH & WELLNESS

Self-Love Expert

Wants You to Harness Your Tribe & Soar to Your Highest Potential WRITTEN BY: LACEY JOHNSON

I

N A TINY town in Michigan, there once lived a girl who had dreams too big for the labels she had been asked to hide behind. Her childhood was laced with anxiety, religious oppression, and the ache of unbelonging. Some days she escaped the pain and teasing with binge eating. Other days she amplified it with thoughts that tormented her, hissing, “You’ll never be good enough.” She wanted to be one of those girls — the desired and invited ones. The ones granted a seat at any table of their choosing.

But under the layers upon layers of bullying and guilt, and behind the rattling chains of her restrictive upbringing, something whispered to her, “There is more for you. So much more. Be patient.” Then one day in her early teens, while stretched across the couch, eyes glued to the television and finger shuffling through the channels, she stumbled upon a fitness competition. In that moment, the puzzle pieces of her entire life rearranged themselves. It was as though a secret trap door had been unlocked, and her entire identity was being pulled through it. She visualized what it would look like to parade across that stage. She wanted to know what winning felt like. What vindication felt like. What worthiness felt like.

She immersed herself into fitness, devoting hours to the gym. Each time her heart rate elevated and the sweat dripped from her flesh, she was being refined in spirit and emboldened with willpower. When her feet finally met that first competitive stage, she thought she was the most presentable she could ever be. But she would return home with her gaze meeting the ground. For almost four years straight, she never walked away with a single trophy, a single glance of acknowledgment, a mere nod of recognition. It was the same story all over again. Would she ever catch a break? Would she always be the girl who never wins at anything?

Everything in her being was on fire with diligence, preparation and sacrifice, only to be smacked with more rejection. It was defeating and humiliating. Until one day it wasn’t.

The first time she heard herself being announced as the winner, she was stunned. And, from there, she would go on to win two more world fitness titles, all within the same year. Her face would gloss the cover of major fitness magazines — 10 times and counting.

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SUMMER 2018 | THE CONNECT MAGAZINE

Photo By: Boss Babe Photography

Lori Harder, now 38, became a a self-made millionaire, a celebrated podcast host, and Founder of The Bliss Project, a popular women’s retreat weekend that attracts life coaches, speakers and entrepreneurs from all over the globe. A New York Times bestselling author, she now spends her time inspiring those who know the depths she once swam through. Her most recent book, “A Tribe Called Bliss,” is one of an infinite number of ways she shows up to extend them all a lifeboat.

So what was her turning point — the moment when abundance and possibility came in for a landing, and unworthiness threw its hands up and scampered away in defeat? Harder says her most profound juncture actually came shortly before she fulfilled her dream of gracing the covers of the magazines she had poured over since adolescence.

“I was staring at my vision board. I had this cover up in the center of it, and I was hinging everything on making that cover. It was as though all of my ‘not enough-ness’ was staring me in the face,” she says.” I was telling myself, ‘If you had just gotten this cover, you would finally prove it to everyone — to all of those people who teased you and didn’t invite you and said you would never make it.’”

Harder recalls throwing herself onto her bed and letting all of her pain and anguish unravel out of her. She fell into a sobbing temper tantrum, her hot tears saturating her hands until there were no more. But then something happened. She felt this massive cloud of clarity move over her, enveloping her. “All of the sudden, I just thought, OK, well now what? Because this whole thing isn’t going to get me anywhere,” she says.

Harder realized that the only reason she ever aspired to see herself on that cover was so she could serve as an inspiration for people like herself — girls who felt dejected and spit upon and perpetually met with slamming doors.

“Something just shifted in me. I thought, wait a minute — what wires have gotten crossed in my own mind, where I’m now robbing myself of happiness over something I may never get? Why can’t I be that source of inspiration for people now in my life, even if I’m not on any magazine cover? I can be this person in my gym. I can utilize the platforms I already have to be that person for others, every single day,” says Harder.

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HEALTH & WELLNESS

Photo By: Randi Marie Photography

Photo By: Boss Babe Photography

That’s exactly what she did, never to glance back again. Gradually, she found herself serving as a leader for women — first, dozens of them, then hundreds, then hundreds of thousands. She found herself at photoshoot after photoshoot, posing for some of the most celebrated fitness magazines in the world. Then her feet met the Tedx stage, where she unpacked her story and captivated the audience.

Harder reflects on that meltdown in her bedroom, nearly a decade ago, with both humor and fondness. “I think we have those moments over and over again throughout our lives — where we want something that maybe isn’t happening right when we want it to. But, these moments have gotten easier for me over the years because I’ve learned the power of asking, ‘OK, well if that thing I want is not for me, what else is there for me?’”

Harder is all about radical responsibility. It’s the only thing, she swears, that has ever worked.

“If we get caught up in the blame, complain, justify cycle, that’s so disempowering,” she says. “If our careers are bad, if our relationships are bad, if the way we feel about ourselves is bad, the only way to fix any of it is to take that radical responsibility for our energy.”

While Harder understands that people do fall prey to horrific injustices, and that some are either born or lured into tragic circumstances that are in no way their fault (a nightmarish kidnapping experience in Mexico at 18 years old having been one of her own), she believes the things that happen to us are only half of the outcomes we end up living out.

“People expend so much energy and time trying to label themselves as victims and prove someone else as having been wrong, when they could spend half of that energy and time, and then become bigger than their problem,” says Harder.

Being a woman who operates several businesses, Harder knows that the people she gives her energy to, both personally and professionally, set the tone for everything else. “A Tribe Called Bliss” is entirely devoted to the facets of this knowing — the understanding that the cast always makes or breaks the movie experience of one’s life.

“There is a part in the book about releasing expectations. It talks about how if we have expectations of people all of the time, whether it’s our supporting cast or the people who play main roles in our lives, then we are never allowing them to show up for the roles they are meant to play. If we are always thinking people need to be someone else for us, they can’t be who they really are, and that means we can’t create deep connections with them,” she says.

Harder and I discuss how common it is for people to move through relationships holding onto expectations for others that the other person never signed up for at all.

“This means that the expectations can become so intense that we will either force good people out of our lives, or those people will leave our lives because they will feel that nothing they ever do will be right or good enough,” says Harder.

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Photo By: Boss Babe Photography

While researching, as well as shuffling through her own experiences, for her book, she confirmed again and again that all healthy relationships require massive communication and respect for boundaries. Also an open mind and plenty of understanding.

“We often forget that when we meet another person, we’re not just meeting one person. We’re meeting the other 5,000 people they’ve ever met in their lifetimes. We forget that there are all of these other stories going on behind this moment we are sharing with them.”

This means we are most often disappointed not by who the other person is, but by our shattered ideas of them, which is also to say that all healthy relationships begin with cultivating a healthy relationship with oneself. Perhaps this also means that the comparison sagas and shame stories have got to be thrown overboard.

“I think comparison stems from an old belief rooted in lack. It says, ‘There’s not enough to go around,’ and ‘There’s only one spot at the top’ and, ‘If she already has that, then I won’t get it,’” says Harder.

As though the universe cruelly rations love, and beautiful experiences, and opportunities. Harder believes the opposite is true.

“Going deeper, comparison can cause some people to perceive that something was taken from them, but I find that truly abundant people make plenty of room for others to also reach the top,” she says.

Harder believes our culture is undergoing changes, and I agree. For so long, women were pinned against each other — whether by society, by men or by other women. But the whole feminist movement that is blazing through our society is gradually shifting the notion of competition and scarcity to a spirit of celebration. We are not longer adversaries, but amplifiers of one another’s greatness. We can understand, then, that another man’s or woman’s success is not robbing from our bundle.

Harder and I explore the notion that fear and lack are merely immature responses with roots in laziness. Because if a person thinks everything that manifests in their life is subject to the whims of nature, the powers that reign, the vulnerabilities of being one among billions of creatures inhabiting a spinning ball of rock, it gives them the illusion of being able to relinquish control. It lets them off of the hook. Then, they don’t have to take action to fix their brokenness; they get to wallow in it and point the finger at either God or the person who took their fortune from them.

While Harder agrees that the universe is a place of beautiful mystery, she believes it’s equally a place of eternal abundance. “I think we are always our only block to whatever it is we desire. I’m truly aware that if there is not something manifesting in my life right now, I’m either blocking myself from it, or I’m simply not seeing what is here for me,” she says.

And sometimes, as it has played out in Harder’s story, that means seeing not only that which is staring at us in the face, but the ability to see that which cannot yet be seen — the corners of ours lives that beckon for new opportunities, new platforms and new relationships to be created.

Maybe even tenfold.

THE CONNECT MAGAZINE | SUMMER 2018

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Welcoming Diversity At Cracker Barrel Old Country Store , we think a key to our success is welcoming diversity in our company, our country stores, our restaurants, and our communities. ®

crackerbarrel.com • © 2016 CBOCS Properties, Inc.

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