The Cord February 14, 2022

THE CORD THE TIE THAT BINDS WILFRID LAURIER UNIVERSITY SINCE 1926

VOLUME 61 ISSUE 6 • FEBRUARY 14, 2022

“I ask you for violence, in th e n o n se n se , and you, you give me grace, your light and your warmth. I’d lithkee to paint you, but r e a r e n o c o lo r s, b e c a u se th e r e a r e so m a n y , in m y confusion, the tamnygible form of great love.”

- Frida Kahlo to Diego Rivera

WEDNESDAY, FEBRUARY 14, 2022

News

• 2 NEWS DIRECTOR YASMEEN ALMOMANI news@thecord.ca

LEAD REPORTER ASHLEY BARRY news@thecord.ca

VALENTINE’S DAY

The impact of COVID-19 on romantic relationships JAMES WINSLOW NEWS INTERN

As Valentine’s Day approaches, one might take time to reflect on how the COVID-19 pandemic has impacted their romantic relationship(s).

Perhaps you and your partner emerged from the pandemic stronger than ever, or perhaps it drove you apart permanently.

Which category you happen to fall into– the stronger couple or the couple-no-more – depends on how you were able to weather stressors that came with the pandemic, but also on the state of your relationship before the stressors arose.

According to Justin Cavallo, an associate professor at Wilfrid Laurier University who studies close relationships from a social cognitive perspective, the COVID-19 pandemic may have been stressful on couples for many reasons.

On the one hand, couples may have begun quarrelling about topics that were no concern to them pre-pandemic.

Cavallo explained that questions like “does your partner agree with the restrictions?” or “are they able to follow them, and not see their friends?” can arise as new topics which couples may disagree on.

Individuals may have also had to deal with the reality of spending more time with their partner under

DARYL DONATO/LEAD PHOTOGRAPHER

quarantine conditions.

Whether or not this adjustment represents a serious obstacle in a romantic relationship depends on the nature of the relationship

pre-adjustment. “[For] couples that already spend a lot of time together, them being quarantined together wouldn’t really bother them. It

could actually be a good thing, at least in the short-term,” explained Cavallo.

If one found themselves wanting to be with their partner every

minute of every day, they would likely adjust more positively to the prospect of doing just that under quarantine conditions.

Another influence is that couples were “forced into a situation where you’re not seeing other people,” said Cavallo.

“It’s not just that you’re seeing a lot of your partner, you’re also not seeing anybody else, which is different than just seeing a lot of one person.”

COVID-19 also introduced external stressors, which can influence a couple’s ability to stay together in the face of difficult situations.

External stressors can “catalyse what’s already going on in the relationship,” said Cavallo.

“If you’re already having tensions with your partner, and an external force is coming to put pressure on you, that’s going to be a problem. That’s going to make things worse.”

Again, whether or not a couple is able to withstand these external forces depends largely on the context of the relationship pre-pandemic.

“If you start out with a strong relationship, you’re probably better able to withstand all of the external pressures, and COVID in particular.”

“If your relationship is already on shaky foundation, that’s going to be more difficult.”

CAMPUS

Laurier prepares events for Black History Month IAN SCHAKEL NEWS INTERN

Wilfrid Laurier University has arranged for several panels to be held throughout Black History Month, available for all students.

This is in addition to other resources being provided on campus and virtually.

In keeping with university tradition, the panels will feature experts in a variety of fields and will be available to all students free of charge.

“They all offer something unique to the community, they all offer unique speakers, unique lenses,” Barrington Walker, associate vice-president of Equity, Diversity and Inclusion at Laurier, said about the upcoming events.

“But at the same time, taken together, they give us something of a broad understanding of the experiences, histories and cultures of African-descended people in Canada.”

The month began with a panel on policing and race in Canada, featuring Waterloo’s chief of police,

among other guests. Feb. 9 features panels on peer support for black students, inclusive and diverse leadership and activism among African-Canadian girls.

They all offer something unique to the community, they all offer unique speakers, unique lenses.

-Barrington Walker, associate vice-president of EDI at Laurier

Later this month there will be further events on the topics of African women in STEM programs, untold histories of black communities, racialized individuals as researchers and mental and physical wellness for black students.

As was the case last year, the

panels will be held virtually over Zoom and will be open to the public.

Walker encourages students from all faculties to attend the panels should they be interested. “[Events during Black History Month] will attract people in the broader community who are interested in hearing what the speakers have to say,” he said.

“There’s always an important community element to the work that people are engaged in this month, so I am confident that our speakers will keep a broad audience in mind when they present their work.”

According to Walker, one of the benefits of Black History Month being a nationally recognized occasion is that it draws attention to an important area of research and activism.

Beyond this one month, the university offers further resources for racialized students.

These include the Association of Black Students, as well as the Laurier chapter of Black Medical Leaders of Tomorrow.

DARYL DONATO/LEAD PHOTOGRAPHER

3 • GAMES

WEDNESDAY, FEBRUARY 14, 2022

RADIOLAURIER.COM

SUDOKU

P L A Y L I S T

A VALENTINE’S DAY SONG LIST TO SET THE MOOD

ACQUAINTED // THE WEEKEND DADDY ISSUES // THE NEIGHBOURHOOD CHURCH // CHASE ATLANTIC CANDY // DOJA CAT ALL TO YOU // SABRINA CLAUDIO ELECTRIC // ALINA BARAZ (FT. KHALID) NEEDED ME // RIHANNA JENNY // THE STUDIO KILLERS SWIM // CHASE ATLANTIC I WANNA BE YOURS // ARCTIC MONKEYS FEEL // POST MALONE & KAHLANI BELONG TO YOU // SABRINA CLAUDIO (FT. 6LACK) A LITTLE DEATH // THE NEIGHBOURHOOD

SAD GIRLZ LUV REMIX // AMAARAE, KALI UCHIS, AND MOLIY WRONG // ZAYN (FT. KEHLANI) MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT // ELLEY DUHÉ MY MY MY! // TROYE SIVAN TIO // ZAYN EARNED IT // THE WEEKND GO FUCK YOURSELF// TWO FEET

the Cord’s Valentine’s day cards My heart isn’t the only thing that’s throbbing, Valentine ...

Let’s do it.

You’re my jam.

WEDNESDAY, FEBRUARY 14, 2022

Arts & Life

• ARTS EDITOR AMICHAI ABRAHAM arts@thecord.ca

ARTS & LIFE

LIFESTYLE EDITOR CRYSTAL XUE arts@thecord.ca

DATING in order to protect his safety, he needed to use their credit cards instead of his own. Once acquired, he engaged in reckless spending and false repayments.

Hayut first requested this from Fjellhøy, whom he had been dating for around a month. Soon after, he asked her for an additional $25K, which she obtained via loans.

Eventually, Fjellhøy was submitting forged documents to banks at Hayut’s demand to raise her credit limit.

Her story unsettled me the most because I saw so much of myself in it. While I thankfully don’t know what it’s like to be scammed, I do understand the habit of ignoring red flags that any self-respecting person would’ve noticed.

FILE PHOTO

“Tinder Swindler” shows the importance of trusting your gut CRYSTAL XUE LIFESTYLE EDITOR

Notoriously dubbed the “Tinder Swindler,” 31 year old Shimon Hayut conned around $10 million from several women. The new Netflix documentary details his relationships with three of them; Cecilie Fjellhøy, Pernilla Sjöholm and Ayleen Charlotte, whom he

scammed out of £185K, £103K and £25K respectively.

All three women met Hayut on Tinder, where he posed as the son of a diamond billionaire. He wooed them with private jet flights and meals at upscale restaurants. While he maintained a friendship with Sjöholm, he dated Fjellhøy and Charlotte, to whom he separately fed promises of marriage, children

and moving in together.

After establishing these relationships, Hayut pretended to be in danger due to his stature in the diamond industry. Since he traveled constantly, he was able to fake security attacks through photos and videos, alongside a man named Peter who posed as his bodyguard.

He alleged to the women that

I’m in no way blaming Fjellhøy for the cruelty that Hayut put her through. If anything, I admire her ability to overcome it and believe the least we can do is learn from her struggle. In an ideal world there aren’t scammers or dangers of any kind- but the reality is these perils aren’t disappearing anytime soon and we need to protect ourselves.

Although we can’t eliminate the risk, we can reduce it. People like Hayut are proven to prey on individuals with certain traits, such as naivety and anxious attachment.

This is not to impose traits on Fjellhøy, but rather observe some of her actions.

Notably, flying to Bulgaria with a man from Tinder immediately after matching is incredibly unsafe, as is giving $25K to a month-long boyfriend who claims to have a billionaire family. I uncomfortably saw myself in these behaviors, as

someone who’s overly trusting of others.

More troubling was Fjellhøy’s codependency on Hayut, to the point where she could no longer afford food but still sent him money. I’ve never given up money, but I have traded other things- my wellbeing, for one- to keep unhealthy relationships.

In the documentary, Fjellhøy shared her idealization of fairy tales and belief that “Life is about love”. I resonated with her hopeless romantic tendencies, having watched too many rom-coms myself.

Intense longing for romance can cause us to sacrifice our own needs to prevent a person who does more harm than good from leaving. It can make having a partner who mistreats us seem better than being alone. It doesn’t help that the media has historically portrayed marriage as the priority, especially for women.

Fixing naivety and anxious attachment takes immense effort, since it means entirely rewiring the brain.

As I’ve discovered, though, a life controlled by others is not a life I wish upon myself- or anyone for that matter.

‘Tinder Swindler’ shows the disastrous impact it can have when taken to extremes.

My intention is not to shame Fjellhøy for being scammed- it could just as easily have happened to me. It can even happen to someone who takes all preventative measures.

The world is far from perfectthat’s old news. We need to try and live in it without getting hurt by the imperfect parts.

FILM

Three romance movies to watch this Valentine’s Day AMICHAI ABRAHAM ARTS EDITOR

I woke up the other morning and looked out my window with a smile. The sun was shining, the beautiful birds were chirping, love was in the air!

I’m lying of course; the sun doesn’t exist in Waterloo during the winter and there are no beautiful chirping birds, only infuriating honking geese.

Nevertheless, Valentine’s day is right around the corner and it is a perfect time to cuddle up to that special someone and flip on a romantic film.

There are some we all know: When Harry Met Sally (1989), The Fault in Our Stars (2014) and Breakfast at Tiffany’s (1961) to name a few.

I however believe that some of the best romantic films are rarely talked about.

Here are three of them that you may not have heard of but are worth checking out this valentine’s day.

Buffalo ‘66 (1998) Directed by Vincent Gallo Starring: Vincent Gallo, Cristina Ricci Buffalo ‘66 may be one of the greatest independent films ever made with one of the most off-beat love stories ever put to film.

The film is about a recently released convict named Billy (Vincent Gallo) whose parents are unaware that he’s been incarcerated for several years.

He also lied to his parents about having a girlfriend and so he decides to kidnap a woman (Cristina Ricci) to present to his parents.

Much can be debated about this film and Gallo’s later work The Brown Bunny (2003) but one thing for certain is that both films feel uniquely human. This attitude is especially true of Billy, a character who truly encapsulates what it is to be lost and lonely.

He is irrational, often acts stupidly, and can’t seem to stop sabotaging himself.

The kidnapped woman named

Layla is a godsend. She is someone who looks at Billy and, despite his many flaws, sees something special in him. It is a miraculous film, able to turn a ridiculous story into something not just believable, but identifiable.

Moonstruck (1987) Directed by Norman Jewison Starring: Cher, Nicolas Cage, Olympia Dukakis, Danny Aiello What I admire most about Moonstruck is how it’s always willing to wander off the beaten path that other romantic comedies paved before it. It’s not afraid to focus on auxiliary characters and their own relationships. It’s not afraid to give the setting a personality.

Moonstruck takes Italian-American culture and enlarges its tropes almost to the point of parody. The film is about an engaged woman falling for her fiance’s eccentric brother.

The acting really stands out in this film. Cher while perhaps a

musician before being an actor excels in the role of Loretta even outshining the always entertaining Nicolas Cage.

While Cher delivers the better overall performance, Cage pulls off the more memorable one.

He plays the over-the-top dramatic Ronny who is falling madly in love with Loretta.

It’s one of the rare films with an ensemble of fully developed characters and unlike some romantic comedies, it’s legitimately funny.

I also enjoy the choice to focus on the relationships of people who are aging.

It adds a healthy amount of levity and cynicism to a genre that often lacks such aspects.

Before Sunrise (1995) Directed by Richard LinklaterStarring: Ethan Hawk, Julie Delpy People are difficult and everyone knows why.

If you don’t then please stop being difficult. Even with this reality sometimes people can create

something wonderful. Not with tools or with revolutionary ideas but just with how they interact with one another. This is the attitude I feel towards Before Sunrise, it’s a film that just makes me smile.

Beautiful in its simplicity; we watch as two strangers meet on a train in Vienna.

One is an American student named Jesse (Ethan Hawk) and a French citizen Celine (Julie Delpy).

The film takes place throughout the night as the two decide in the spur of the moment to explore Vienna together.

The majesty of the city brings out the elegance in their unexpected relationship.

With both having to return to their normal lives the next day it seems like all they’ll have is this brief night together.

It mirrors how time flies in our own lives, how relationships come too fast and go too soon, it elicits that internal feeling that we all have about wishing that we just had a little bit more time before the sunrises in our lives.

WEDNESDAY, FEBRUARY 14, 2022

• 5

Opinion

OPINION EDITOR SAMUEL DUFFY opinion@thecord.ca

The best anime husbandos for a Valentine’s Day date BRONTË BEHLING MANAGING EDITOR

With Valentine’s Day approaching, many who are chronically single will be feeling alone. Luckily, there are many films and television shows available to watch during this tumultuous season. If you are a fan of anime, you will know of the many romantic options available to you when it comes to these swoon-worthy anime husbandos.

Of course, no mere mortal will be able to live up to these iconic characters - however, one can dream. Lonely this upcoming Valentine’s Day? Keep these fine gentlemen in mind and join the swaths of other forever-alones wishing to find one of these fictional men in real life: Howl Pendragon/Jenkins Howl’s Moving Castle Nearly everyone has heard of Studio Ghibli films and their most well loved pretty boy. Howl should be considered the ultimate husbando, considering he can create endless flower fields at will – what other man can claim that?

While he can be self-centered and an arrogant womanizer, his charm cannot be denied. It’s easy to love a bad boy turned good and Howl fits the description perfectly.

Levi Ackerman - Attack on Titan It would be difficult to find an anime fan who had not heard of Levi Ackerman – or had an infatuation with him. As humanity’s strongest soldier and resident short legend, Levi’s badassery is irresistible.

If you search his name on any fan forum, you’ll likely find a slew

of posts of Attack on Titan fans singing his praises. With the show currently airing, the talk surrounding him has only picked up.

While maybe not likely to be the best conversationalist on a Valentine’s Date, it’s impossible to deny Levi’s frosty appeal.

Kyo Sohma - Fruits Basket As the cat of the zodiac, Kyo will naturally appeal to those of us who love cats.

However, this is far from Kyo’s only appealing trait. While initially prickly and standoffish, he has a soft side that will make anyone melt.

After all, who doesn’t love the chase? If you enjoy playing the long game to earn someone’s affection, Kyo is the husbando for you.

Makoto Tachibana - Free!

Iwatobi Swim Club This choice doesn’t really need to be explained. Makoto Tachibana has all the features you could possibly want – loyal friend, amazing big brother and overall sunshine.

He would be the prime candidate for a Valentine’s Date, making sure that the day was special.

If you’re alone this Valentine’s Day, don’t despair. Look to any of these anime husbandos for comfort as you treat yourself to chocolate and a (responsible) glass of wine.

If anything, you’ll have the opportunity to relate to and join the leagues of us who are in exactly the same place as you are.

Valentine’s Day doesn’t have to be so bad - take comfort in a fictional anime husbando and all of your worries will cease.

CONTRIBUTED IMAGE

Embarrassing hookup stories from our readers Pucker-up for some poutine My first kiss involved a group of strangers with thick accents, the hood of a Honda Accord, and the taste of poutine. I was visiting family friends in a wee town called Black Duck Brook and we stumbled over to their annual festival. A few coolers in, a boy with large ears, who was a friend of a friend of our friends, walked over and we hit it off as much as two 16 year olds could under the

circumstances. The circumstances being alcohol and hormones.

One thing led to another and after we hit the fry shack, we headed to his friends car to smoke and forcefully laugh at mediocrity.

After one last spoonful of gravy, he leaned over and kissed me.

Till this day I can still remember the taste of our saliva swapping alongside the remnants of poutine left in his mouth.

too much teeth

The early finisher

First year university, hooking up in the guys dorm room and we bashed teeth when making out.. my tooth cut the inside of my top lip and gave me a fat lip for several days.

Hooked up with a guy in high school. While laying on his bed, he proceeded to grind against my fully-clothed body while moaning and gyrating like an electrocuted snake. After half-heartedly smacking at my crotch a few times he finished against my thigh, in his pants. He asked if I had as well. I did not.