BROKEN but Getting Better

BRUCE MCINTYRE (BM) INTERVIEWS LINDSAY STEELE (STEELEY), FORMER PROFESSIONAL DRUMMER, EVENTS PROMOTER AND EDUCATOR IN THE MUSIC INDUSTRY, THEN SERVED FOR 9 YEARS AS A NSW POLICE OFFICER.

In this interview Steeley is brutally honest and open about his mental health journey and road, not to recovery, but to living with it.

BM: Now Steeley before we get into the interview, I’ve heard you talk about a metaphor for Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder – PTSD, would you mind sharing that for context?

Steeley: Yeah of course mate, PTSD is like a cup being filled, all the traumatic events you witness continue to fill it up and eventually you lose the ability to empty it. That’s how I would describe my personal journey with PTSD.

BM: So, leading to your story can you give me the turbo on some of the important background and big messages you want to get out?

Steeley: Sure, I had a great career in the music industry in my 20’s but eventually had to scratch the itch and I was recruited by the NSW Police. I spent 9 months enduring the physical training and education and was sworn into the NSWPF in 2010. Interestingly, throughout my training at Goulburn there was only one 40 minute lecture regarding our mental health in relation to Police work.

I was posted to the Mid North Coast and commenced work in general duties (uniform), eventually I moved into investigation roles. My first real dance with mental health came after having to review child abuse material. I had young kids at the time too, and it left me feeling infected. I kept on with things, but after breaking down at home one evening over something as simple as a TV commercial involving kids, I realised I needed to talk to someone. I didn’t think it was the job though!

I thought it was just my age and pressures of family/ career.

I moved around in different roles, mainly in plain clothes, drug work, proactive team, and I spent two years working on the William TYRELL case. I loved going to work and the people I worked with. For me the pointy end of the job wasn’t the dead bodies, fatal accidents and domestics, as horrific as these scenes can be - it was child abuse. And to compound matters there was no real help on offer to officers in my role.

In retrospect, I had also started to develop some physical tics, like sniffing and wincing. Crooks found this hilarious and constantly accused me of having a drug problem! These tics, I would later learn, were associated

PTSD IS LIKE A CUP BEING FILLED, ALL THE TRAUMATIC EVENTS YOU WITNESS CONTINUE TO FILL IT UP AND EVENTUALLY YOU LOSE THE ABILITY TO EMPTY IT

with my hyper-vigilance and anxiety. They remain to this day.

BM: Mate, thanks for your openness and brutal honesty in sharing just a snippet of your massive journey. What do you say to people who are on a mental health journey or to those who have people in their world that are struggling with mental health?

Steeley: First point is, I’m purely sharing MY experience and MY journey, I know it’s different for every individual. But I can tell you this - if someone in YOUR world seems to be struggling, they probably have had that devil on their back for a long time. It will be a difficult conversation but you can’t be afraid to use the word “suicide”. I came very close to taking my own life and it came down to honest friends and family having the difficult conversations to really get me to seek the appropriate help.

BM: So, what is your encouragement for those who are on a mental health journey?

Steeley: You can get better, and you CAN learn to cope. We’re not talking about a broken leg, it doesn’t just eventually mend and you’re back to running again. But sometimes you’ve just gotta learn to walk all over again, it may be with a slight limp, but you earned that limp and now you have a cool walk! Ha.

Am I still injured? Absolutely, but the further I push on, the better I get.

BM: Steeley, I really appreciate your time and opening up to tell The Cutthroat Journal readers your valuable story.

If you are experiencing mental health and not getting help, be brave and take action, please see your GP or contact Lifeline: phone 13 11 14.

Community Group Profile

A great initiative happening on the Mid North Coast of NSW to support men’s mental health with the ambition to create hope in the community, to change the very present mental health stigma and the way community, friends and family support each other.

Self Seen is a support network for men, to help them through their personal battles with mental health by creating connection and encouraging vulnerability in safe spaces.

Helping individuals understand the reasons behind behaviours and addictions, releasing stories and trauma they have been carrying in their lives, helping them step back into healthy selfregulation and empowerment.

Through vulnerability and connection we recognise that we are not alone. Through the sharing of our lived life experience, we can empathise with people, show them that we understand where they’re at, what they’re struggling with, so they know they’re not alone in their darkest times and struggles.

The impact on the community has been recognised with SELF SEEN, winning Organisation of the Year and Ben Cudmore (cofounder), winning joint Citizen of the Year. Congrats team SELF SEEN.

Check out what the team are doing in the community and access great resources at: www.selfseen.com.au