2
■
Tuesday, March 31, 2009
WEDDING GUIDE
EDITORS’ NOTE
Editors aim to inform Writing articles and researching timeless, classic trends for the wedding guide has been an adventure that I will not forget any time soon. Personally, I never liked romantic movies, never pretended to SSarahh be the bride as a little girl, Krusleski and I didn’t wear heels until my second year of college. Working on this guide with someone who had experience taught me about details and little costs that concern birdes and grooms. I hope that brides- and groomsto-be draw inspiration from our features on local couples, premarital counseling, catering for different audiences, religious customs and bachelor parties. Likewise, I hope that the casual reader takes away a new view of matrimony from these articles, even if you don’t have a special someone to trade rings with. One article that we proudly brought into this year’s Wedding Guide was a feature on same-sex marriage. With same-sex marriage entering public awareness, writing an article on two men’s concerns about beginning a new life together seemed timely and appropriate. I enjoyed writing the captions on the tuxedo graphic more than anything else in this guide. So
much of men’s fashion falls under the radar, but looking at the details shows how much a single collar or bowtie can say about an individual. I look forward to working on more guides like this for The Daily Cougar in the future, with a focus on educating general readers about the basics of a subject, while also acquainting them with uncommon perspectives on everyday details. Everyone loves weddings. Lifelong commitment issues aside, it’s impossible to detest the party atmosphere, good company and displays of love and affection that accompany SSarahh TTucker k every wedding. Having previously worked at a bridal shop, I already knew a little bit of the work that goes into planning a wedding. Working on this guide made me realize just how much I already knew about weddings, as well as how stressful planning one can be. With this year’s Wedding Guide, Krusleski and I have attempted to touch a little on every aspect of getting married, from what to wear to what food to serve at the reception and even what to expect after the honeymoon is over. I particularly enjoyed the grooms’ section in this year’s guide. Most wedding guides deal exclusively with the bride on “her” special day, forgetting that it is a momentous
occasion shared by both bride and groom. The article on the groom’s involvement is particularly helpful to fiancés who may be unsure of how much say they should have in the wedding planning process. The wedding debate between Matt and Mariah is also something I enjoyed. A relevant issue that many students probably have or will face at some point in their college years, debates are not typically something featured in wedding guides. Besides offering information, we also wanted our readers to be aware of the difference of opinions to be found on any and every subject, weddings included. Providing some insight into various cultures’ wedding customs and traditions is also something I am glad to offer in this guide. Practically everyone knows the bride wears white to symbolize her purity, but how many know that red, symbolizing good luck, is the preferred color for wedding dresses in Southeast Asia? A consistent theme I have found through all the articles is the need to do research when planning a wedding. Doing homework will make the wedding go by as smoothly as possible. This guide will, I hope, make life a little easier for those thinking of getting engaged as well as those already engaged. And, for those not intending on getting married or engaged any time soon, enjoy this guide anyway. Maybe a friend could use some help with their wedding.
The Daily Cougar
Table of contents PAGE 3 ~ A wedding planner reveals the secrets of a successful wedding. ~ Check it out: Our brief wedding checklist. PAGE 4 ~ Bachelor vs. Bride: Two students sound off on the pros and cons of getting married while in college. ~ Are you compatible for marriage? See what tests are available for engaged couples. PAGE 5 Learn about wedding customs from around the world. Favorite wedding songs from The Wedding Guide staff. PAGE 6 ~ Not all wedding dresses are white. Read about these brides’ search for the perfect dress. PAGE 8 ~ Grooms need to look good, too. Explore your tuxedo options with this visual guide. ~ How involved in the wedding planning process should the groom be? ~ Houston dives can help with the bachelor and bachelorette parties. PAGE 9 ~ Good food can make or break the reception. ~ Like cake? So does everyone else. Get the scoop on choosing good pastries. PAGE 10 ~ Cougar couples: Engaged students tell thier stories and dish on wedding plans. PAGE 11 ~ Defining gay marriage: One campus couple seeks equal rights. ~ What to expect after the honeymoon is over and real life begins.
Wedding Guide Staff
Cover Lana Flores
Editors Sarah Krusleski Sarah Tucker Production Mariah Davis Matt Dulin Matthew Johnson
Copy Editors James Rincon Ronnie Turner Photo Editor Justin Flores
Ufybt! Sfobjttbodf! Gftujwbm !!!!!Podf!vqpo!b! ujnfÊ//!b!cfbvujgvm! qsjodftt!nbssjfe! ifs!usvf!mpwf/!!!Zpv! nbz!dipptf!gspn!uisff!qbdlbhft!uibu!dbo!cf! dvtupnj{fe!up!ß!u!boz!cvehfu/!Xf!ibwf!6!cfbvujgvm! wfovft!up!bddpnnpebuf!b!tnbmm!joujnbuf! hbuifsjoh!pg!ufo!up!b!hvftu!mjtu!pg!vq!up!361/!!
Gps!npsf!jogpsnbujpo-!qmfbtf!dbmm!vt!bu! 2.911.569.4546-!fnbjm!vt!bu;! xfeejohtAufysfogftu/dpn-!ps!wjtju!pvs!xfctjuf/!!
xxx/UfySfoGftu/dpn 2.911.569.4546
!
WEDDING GUIDE
The Daily Cougar
Wedding Checklist After the tribulations of the proposal, wedding planning becomes stressful. It can be difficult for the young couple to decide where to cut costs. Scan this list for popular items in modern-day weddings and ideas on saving money. Be sure to reserve the ceremony’s venue at least six months in advance. Unusual venues, such as a private beach or Disneyworld, carry a hefty price tag and may have yearslong waiting lists. Wedding Web sites allow couples to gossip or vent about the wedding’s progress with friends and family across the world. Free tools like Google’s Page Creator or Blogspot make posting photos and stories about the stresses of wedding planning a snap. Wedding invitations should be sent out six months in advance, with the couple’s names and the wedding’s date, time and place. Couples can go over the top with invitations decorated with jewelry, ribbons and engraving, or the budget-conscious couples may print their own invitations at home. Start a wedding registry at Sears or another major store to get help paying for household items, from silverware to drapes. Pick which trustworthy friends and family will be “on stage” in the actual ceremony serving as bridesmaids and groomsmen. The couple must pick out matching wedding rings to exchange on the big day. The wedding dress and its accessories, from the petticoat to heels, can cost hundreds or thousands of dollars. Don’t forget to coordinate the outfits of the bridesmaids with the flower girl. Flowers can help create a romantic or fun atmosphere, as well as enhance the wedding’s color theme. To keep costs down, many couples choose fake flowers for the majority of their decorations. The blooms will only last a few days at the most; fake flowers can last forever. Invest in a photographer to capture the wedding’s special moments. The groom needs to pick a tuxedo with matching shoes. Finer department stores and men’s stores will offer tuxedos, sometimes with discounts for the entire groom’s party. Cakes are probably the most fun part of the wedding for the bride and groom. Extravagant multi-tiered cakes can run thousands of dollars, so shop around to find a delicious cake that won’t break your bank. Reserving a venue for the reception will give the couple a place to relax with friends and family after vows are exchanged. Pick a place close to the wedding’s venue, with enough space to include a dining area, buffet lines, a dance floor and electric outlets for DJs and music players. Music for the reception is chosen by the bride and the groom. The couple may hire a DJ to play the tunes or designate trusted family members to take shifts during the reception. Catering and menus for guests at the reception should be arranged in advance. Paying for lunch, dinner and drinks can be pricey, but good food is always appreciated. Planning a wedding is understandably overwhelming. Take heart in the fact that it is your wedding, and you can plan it however you want. Compiled by Wedding Guide Staff
Tuesday, March 31, 2009
■
3
Plan a wedding on a budget By Jasmine Harrison The Wedding Guide
Planning a wedding can be hard work and pulling off a wedding on a budget can make the task even greater, but is possible if the bride and groom keep an eye on the details. Karen Brown, owner of the wedding coordination business For Your Memories, said the first thing to do would be to sit down with both families and determine the numbers. “You need to figure out how many are going to attend,” said Brown, who was named a Master Bridal Consultant by the Association of Bridal Consultants. “That will make the difference as far as locations are concerned, and it means a lot on the budget.” Setting a budget is only half the battle when it comes to saving money on a wedding; the other half is trying to stay within that budget. “You have to really be careful when you set a budget that you
stay within that budget and don’t their big day. start going outside it,” Brown said. “Whenever we first meet with “When you do that, it just gets a couple, we sit down with them away from you really quickly.” and go through a list of questions Though Brown said the best and get an idea of what they way to save money is to cut down envision and what they can spend on the number of guests at a because we are very strict about wedding, a staying in the “Whenever we first meet with budget,” Brown bride and groom can a couple, we sit down with said. “A lot of also save by times they don’t them and go through a list know the answers doing their homework. of questions and get an idea to the questions “Research yet.” of what they envision.” is your best However, in bet if you — Karen Brown, For Your Memories many instances, aren’t using a the bride and consultant, so groom have you know you’re getting quality already done some planning on professionals to work with,” their own. Brown said. “Put your money “A lot of times, we just plan where it’s most important to you. according to what has already If the look is more important than been done,” Brown said. “But we the pictures, then put your money have a pre-wedding schedule that into flowers and décor rather than goes to the bride that tells her in photography.” which area and on what day she Brown and her assistants at For needs to get things done.” Your Memories have a detailed list To ease some of the stress of of questions they ask each couple planning a wedding, the busy in order to gain a better picture of bride can turn to her bridesmaids
for support. “The bridesmaids (are) supposed to support the bride more than anything else,” Brown said. “If she needs help with things, she needs to let them know.” Brown says the bridesmaids will traditionally give the bride a bridal shower and the maid of honor will see to the bride’s needs, especially on the day of the wedding. “But we really don’t see that any more,” Brown said. “Bridesmaids are there to be the bride’s friend and listen to her if she has a concern. It’s nice if you have someone who’s really close to you.” The groomsmen are also there for support, but have one very important task. “They plan the bachelor party,” Brown said. Brown, who was voted 2009’s Best Wedding Planner in KPRC’s Click2Houston’s Best competition, has planned weddings big and small on every kind of budget.
4
■
Tuesday, March 31, 2009
WEDDING GUIDE
The Daily Cougar
Bachelor vs. Bride understood, but I wasn’t happy about it. She was upset too and it caused us to have a couple of fights.” Marriage does not even cross the mind Many young people get married to prove of most college students, but for a small they are mature. Marriage can force people percentage of them it is reality. into maturity and stability, but few people are Reality can be harsh however, and ready to be mature and know what they want marriage is not in life in their early 20s. something college “(My wife) always knew that she wanted to students should take go into pharmacy, but I’m still not completely lightly. sure (what I want to do),” Borjas said. One of the main “Sometimes it’s tough, because we don’t know problems that married where we’re going to be when we leave (UH). RRational i l college students face We talk about it, but we can’t really say where is the inability to make we are going because we don’t know where Bachelor good grades. the jobs will be at.” College is a time when All of theseproblems a person’s primary concern can lead to divorce. Unless both spouses should be academic Acorrding to research success, and few people conducted by the hold full-time jobs, it is can exit college with a University of Missouri, tough to afford living respectable grade point there are about 20 divorces expenses, tuition and average when they stretch for every 1,000 women over time between school, work the age of 15 in the U.S. entertainment. Married and a spouse. That statistic is only couples lose a lot of “I’m always struggling to slightly lower than the U.S.’s pull everything together,” quality time when forced peak of 23 divorces for psychology junior Victor 1,000 women in 1978. to spend hours on errands, every Borjas said. “My wife helps Statistics also show work and studying. me some, but sometimes I younger couples are more have to take a C or a D on a likely to get divorced. test because I spent too much time at work or Although tolerance of divorce has risen with my wife.” during the last 50 years, it is still something Another issue is finances. Unless both that Borjas wants to avoid at all costs. spouses hold full-time jobs, it is tough “I’ll do what it takes to make (my to afford living expenses, tuition and marriage) work,” he said. “It’s always tough, entertainment. Married couples lose a lot of and sometimes you question if it’s even quality time when forced to spend hours on worth it, but I’d drop out (of college) before I’d errands, work and studying. divorce my wife.” “We had to cancel a trip because we didn’t Young people should focus on school and have enough money and we had projects and finances before they jump into marriage. stuff that were due that we hadn’t finished People have plenty of time to get married, but yet,” Borjas said. “I understood and she they are young and free only once. By Matt Miller
The Wedding Guide
even thinking about kids. That’s five blissful years to get used to each other’s quirks and habits, five years to gain the relationship My Introduction to Sociology professor stability that is required to raise a healthy advised me to find out where you are going family and five years to grow bank accounts in life and then find out whom you are going and establish careers. with. As a freshman, I thought this was very Getting married while in college will also good advice, but then I allow you to grow, change and experience the fell in love two years later. world together. Remember all those spring It’s true, that when you break and summer trips with exes? Awkward fall in love, logic goes out when you try to share those memories with the window. another guy whom you married later in life. I am getting married My college memories are with my soon-toBlushing Bl hi in May, before my senior be husband and our friends, and we are certain year of college. I don’t to make more together. We are still young and Bride regret this decision. If I energetic enough to go backpacking in Europe had a shadow of a doubt that we would ever or camping in a Costa Rican rainforest. Why get divorced, I wouldn’t do it. wouldn’t you want to share We are still young and Going through the wedding these once-in-a-lifetime planning process though, I energetic enough to go experiences with the one have found many benefits to will spend the rest of backpacking in Europe or you getting married young. your life with? When you camping in a Costa Rican marry after college and after When we registered for gifts, we scanned everything rainforest. Why wouldn’t your carefree years have we liked. What’s even better passed, you can only tell you want to share these your significant other the is that we will actually use all of these gifts. We don’t stories of your youth. once-in-a-lifetime have anything, so people My parents got married experiences with the one when aren’t just buying us “stuff” they were 19 and have because it’s customary. Also, you will spend the rest of been happily married for 36 monetary gifts will be put years. They were married your life with? to extremely good use on 10 years before having kids. things such as tuition and rent. When older, They still talk about the memories they made more established people marry, they combine together in those pre-children years. houses, household items and incomes, so Being young, carefree and with my money and gifts aren’t as needed. soul mate is an experience I am looking Older couples getting married are also forward to. Sure, money might be tight hearing the biological clock ticking. We are the first few years, but if you can make most definitely not ready for children. Most it through the Ramen noodles and marriages fail in the first few years, but if Goodwill-clothing stage, your marriage you already have a kid nine months into it, a can probably handle the fight over how divorce is much more difficult, if necessary. much money is spent on a spa day with We will have at least five years together before the girls versus the boys’ night out. By Mariah Davis
The Wedding Guide
Questions to ask before your big day By Sarah Krusleski The Wedding Guide
Deciding whether you are ready to tie the knot is one of life’s most difficult decisions, but several institutions offer guidance for young couples. The American Psychological Association said that research has found nine tasks that successful longterm couples do, from maintaining independence from meddling relatives to remaining involved in the community to avoid isolation. Each of these nine tasks emphasizes the couple’s responsibility to set aside time for themselves as romantic partners and support each other, while respecting their responsibilities to children, family and outside problems. Some students think that the tasks have more to do with the personalities of individuals who seek long-term relationships. “Everybody’s different, but I can see there being certain things that would make sense,” said Alaina Vercher, a fine arts and communication disorder sophomore. “I’m sure there is some sort of correlation, but the people who want long-term relationships are typically a certain way, so I can see them all having something in common.” The APA also recommended that couples speak to a counselor who specializes in family or couples therapy to discuss potential issues that might arise in their future. Several compatibility reports are also on the market for couples
that want to test their long-term potential. The Facilitating Open Couple Communication Understanding & Study instrument, engineered by the Roman Catholic Archdiocese of Omaha, Neb., generates a report about the compatibility of partners’ lifestyles, communication and problem-solving styles from each partner’s answers to 156 questions. The FOCCUS Web site said that results are intended to generate discussion about problems between partners and a counselor instead of giving an outright “yay” or “nay” response to a marriage proposal. The English version of the FOCCUS test can be purchased online for $4.50, with a set of answer sheets costing 40 cents and the scoring certificate costing $20. “It sounds like a really great idea, because you can see on paper what possible problems are in a relationship and what steps to take to resolve those problems,” accounting sophomore Eric Tran said. Other pre-marital compatibility inventories include Life Innovations, Inc.’s PREPARE test and the RELATE Institute’s RELATE test. “I’m sure I would (take a compatibility test) at some point when thinking long-term and planning things out,” marketing senior Trent Dees said. Some students are skeptical of compatibility tests, however. “Isn’t being with someone a test of how compatible you are?” Vercher said. “The relationship is the best indicator.”
WEDDING GUIDE
The Daily Cougar
Wedding customs vary By Shaista Mohammed The Wedding Guide
One of Houston’s greatest strengths is its diversity of wedding options for couples. Muslim weddings are somewhat simpler occasions than those celebrated in Western tradition, with a focus on the formal recitation of vows and signing of the marriage contract. There is also a prescribed feast and the traditional gift from the groom to the wife. The marriage contract is officiated by an Imam or Maulana in front of the couples’ families in private. Festivities for friends and family are separate, but may include a feast. Muslim tradition takes on aspects of various cultures that practice the religion. Indian Muslims tend to have more elaborate celebrations, similar in tenor to that of Hindu weddings. Hindu weddings entail days of celebrating among family and friends. The basic ceremony may take up to three days, but there are abbreviated versions of the ritual adapted to Western schedules.
The bride and groom take on the roles of the deities Lashmi and Vishnu. The ceremony takes place under the auspices of Lord Ganesh, the remover of obstacles. The bride and groom are washed with turmeric paste, which renders the skin golden yellow. The bride and groom exchange floral garlands, establishing the bride’s choice of partner. They then walk around a sacred pyre after the bride makes vows of spiritual duty, material wealth, and fulfillment of desire. Then come the seven steps of fidelity, friendship, love and spiritual duty that the bride and groom walk together. Chinese wedding customs were so elaborate that from 400 B.C. to 200 B.C. they underwent revision because ceremonies became too cumbersome. The traditional proposal and betrothal are family affairs, involving matchmakers and gifting occasions. The wedding preparations involve a sing-along and sleepover as the bride’s friends mourn her leaving, while the groom has a “good luck”
man or woman help install the bridal bed. He invites children to pile in with fruits and other treats, evoking fertility. The actual marriage rite involves a tea ceremony, in which the bride honors her parents by serving them tea at home before leaving. Then follows an elaborate process of going to collect the bride and taking her back to the groom’s home. The wedding ritual itself is simple, involving a visit to the groom’s ancestral altar. They pay homage to heaven and earth and offer tea to their parents. They bow, and the ceremony is concluded. Houston has many options throughout the city for adapting various aspects of these rituals for different couples. Marriage ceremonies may vary, but the basic tenants of joining two families in shared values are the same the world over. Whether attending a culturally-different wedding or looking to incorporate different symbols in your own ceremony, one should enjoy the diverse ways to celebrate the human union.
Tuesday, March 31, 2009
The Czech Center Museum Houston A EUROPEAN BAROQUE PALACE IN THE HEART OF THE MUSEUM DISTRICT
We welcome your visit to one of Houston’s Eighteen Fine Museums 4920 San Jacinto Street - Houston, Texas 77004 - Telephone 713-528-2060
www.czechcenter.org - www.receptionshouston.com - e-mail: czech@czechcenter.org
www.thedailycougar.com Stay in touch.
Favorite Wedding Songs Brides and grooms of all ages love to fire up the dance hall with these classic love songs: “At Last” by Etta James “Canon in D Major” by Johann Pachelbel “Celebration” by Kool & the Gang The couples’ college fight song “Crazy Little Thing Called Love” by Queen “The Cupid Shuffle” by Cupid “Daughters” by John Mayer “Endless Love” by Luther Vandross “Every Breath You Take” by The Police “I Got You Babe” by Sunny & Cher “I’m Yours” by Jason Mraz “Let’s Get it On” by Marvin Gaye “Linger” by The Cranberries “My Girl” by The Temptations “Shout” by Otis Day and the Knights “Unchained Melody” by The Righteous Brothers “Unforgettable” by Nat King Cole “That’s Amore” by Dean Martin “The Way You Look Tonight” by Frank Sinatra “What a Wonderful World” by Louis Armstrong “When I’m 64” by The Beatles “Wonderful Tonight” by Eric Clapton “Truly, Madly, Deeply” by Savage Garden “YMCA” by The Village People “You and Me” by Lifehouse “You are so Beautiful” by Joe Cocker J J
J J J
J J J J
J J J J
Live, Laugh, Love & Eat Candy!
J J
J
J J J
J
J J
J
J J J
More fun songs can be found in contemporary bands. The hip-hop generation brings thier receptions to life with saucy dance tunes from Rihanna and Soulja Boy, while the growing segment of alternative fans should have fun introducing their guests to toe-tapping niche tunes from the likes of Daft Punk, De Novo Dahl and Scissor Sisters. The wedding is yours, but take the tastes of the wedding guests into consideration by avoiding offensive lyrics and playing upbeat tunes that will bring your entire party to the floor. Compiled by The Wedding Guide Staff
We love what we do! We are open everyday. Every Hour. Everywhere. 832-754-5150 1124 West Gray Houston, TX 77019 www.houstonsweetcouture.com
■
5
6
■
Tuesday, March 31, 2009
WEDDING GUIDE
The Daily Cougar
P i c t u r e T h i s P h o t o g r a p h y ~ Great Shots, Great Prices All Wedding Day Packages Include: x Unlimited time, photojournalistic coverage with 2 photographers (male & female), with photography beginning one hour before the ceremony x Coverage at up to two locations x All shots presented as 4x6 prints, with 100 in an album that tells the story of your day (you get everything we shoot) x Your own Web Gallery where you and your guests can view and purchase high quality prints x Easy payment terms; $200 deposit reserves your day
Choose from: "The Sweetie" package is $850 and includes: x Web Gallery with 50 shots
"The Kitten Kaboodle" package is $1050 and also includes: x 10x10 Flush Mount Album or Traditional Keepsake Album x Web Gallery with 75 shots
"The Whole Shebang" package is $1250 and also includes: x x x x
Unlimited location coverage Parents’ Album with 20 5x7 photographs 10x10 Flush Mount Album or Traditional Keepsake Album Web Gallery with 100 shots
"Great Shots" Engagement or Bridal Portrait Session is $150 and includes:
x Up to 90 minute portrait session x 24 4x6 Prints and 11x14 Final Print x Web Gallery with 24 shots
It’s your day. Make it what you want, and we’ll be there to capture it. J C@ P i x Th i sP ho to s. c o m
ŏ
A nd r e a@ P i x Th i sP ho t o s . c o m
www.PixThisPhotos.com
713.983.8678
Finding the dress of your dreams By Hafsah Hashmi & Sarah Krusleski The Wedding Guide
With wedding season just around the corner, every bride in the world scrambles to find the outfit that she will remember for the rest of her life – her wedding gown. Brides have several options for finding the perfect dress. One is going to a bridal boutique to try on different dresses with the assistance of sales assistants. These stores also have accessories such as shoes, heels, veils, petticoats and undergarments that brides may need for the big day, as well as rows of bridesmaids’ dresses. Art history senior Roxanne Werner initially sought a blue dress. “Blue originally symbolized purity,” she said about her preference. After scouring boutiques and online catalogues for her perfect dress, Werner found it online. It was white, but a “beautiful beaded inlay” across the top of the gown won her over. The dress was being sold by a bride who had worn it for her own wedding, so Werner only paid $60 for the gown of her dreams. “It was a second-hand dress, but it doesn’t matter,” she said. “I got a great deal.” While Werner saved money on her dress, she felt surprised by the extravagant price of bridal accessories and undergarments. “The salespeople were telling me that I needed to buy another bra, a petticoat and a veil,” she said. “The bra could be $50. The petticoat was $100 and the veil could run as much as $100. It adds up.” Some brides struggled to search for dresses that would appeal crossculturally. Sarah Hanif, a first-year accounting graduate student, struggled to find the right gown that would follow the traditions of Pakistani culture. Namely, she needed to find a dress that was colored red, which she said symbolizes auspiciousness in Pakistani culture. Hanif went to more than 30 stores in Pakistan to find a traditional red outfit, but red with the modern twist of Western style she wanted was very difficult to find because different colors are becoming more readily available to brides. “It was really stressful since I wanted to find a traditional red outfit, but I finally found an outfit after two weeks of searching,” Hanif said. “I didn’t really care about a designer or anything but I wanted an outfit to where when I saw it I thought, ‘This is it.’” She found a maroon-colored outfit with detailed silver embroidery all over. It was exactly the style she wanted, even though the color was not what she had hoped for. Don’t stress when it comes to finding the perfect dress however. Start early and do your research “Although it was really stressful, don’t give up because you will find the perfect one,” Hanif said.
The Daily Cougar
WEDDING GUIDE
Tuesday, March 31, 2009
■
7
8
■
Tuesday, March 31, 2009
WEDDING GUIDE
The Daily Cougar
DRESSED FOR SUCCESS J
Don’t assume that your wardrobe decisions will go unnoticed just because you’re the groom. Men’s fashion has its own protocol, which should be followed on the big day for the right look. Dressing well can make the difference between looking like a bumbling goof outshined by his gorgeous partner or a confident man ready to launch a new life. Take advantage of this guide to look sharp on the big day. Compiled by Sarah Krusleski
Consider the tie and bow tie as accessories. The tie is currently in vogue as a sleek, popular accent for chic outfits, but there will always be a place for bow ties in timeless outfits. No matter which one you choose to wear, make sure its color matches your partner’s procession. J
A vest is a chic, trendy accent worn over a dress shirt and under the jacket. The vest’s color shouldn’t steal attention away from your sleek jacket, but it should match the rest of the outfit. If you have a black suit, gray is usually a solid choice for the vest color. The cummerbund is a colored silk sash tied around your waist. If you opt for this golden look, pair it with a bow tie and be sure to wear the pleats facing up. Absolutely do not wear this with a vest – it’s a sure sign of overdressing. J
J
J
J
J
J
The turn-down collar seen on the main model is the most popular and comfortable look in formal men’s wear today. Wear it with anything modern, although it looks best with a double-breasted jacket and tie. The mandarin collar seen on the left has a round neck that folds down right around the tie and lends flair to the man wearing it. The wing-tip collar seen on the right is an old treasure that can be found on some men’s outfits. This collar is best paired with a classic, polished look, such as a cummerbund and bow tie. Light-colored suits are popular in the summer. Keep the pants and jacket neutrally colored, but stick to the main color of the wedding in your cummerbund and tie. If you must stray from the traditional black suit, avoid trendy lime greens or hot pinks – these age poorly in photographs, and nobody likes to look at outdated fashion in photos. Brown should never be used as a tuxedo color; you want to stand out, not look muddy and befuddled.
J
The double-breasted jacket is beloved by the modern man and can be seen every night on The Late Show with David Letterman. The double-breasted jacket features two rows of buttons, so the jacket is pulled in further over the torso. Tall men favor this jacket for its sleek, boxy proportions, but anyone under 5’8” should opt for the single-breasted jacket. Wear whatever you want with this. The shawl-collar jacket is a classic look made for the man with golden-aged tastes. Pair it with a wing-tip collar, matching bow tie and cummerbund and few accessories. Think watch and rings. J
J
Trousers should be tailored and never have a belt. Belts are worn to hold up your everyday clothes; do not bring them to your wedding day. Cummerbunds add a classic accent to a timeless look and replace the belt entirely, while more modern jackets and vests don’t need a belt.
J
J
Well-polished, un-scuffed dress shoes complete the suit and show that you can take care of the details. Formal men’s shoes should be made of polished leather. They should also match the color of your tuxedo.
Grooms have say in wedding plans By Ronnie Turner The Wedding Guide
Given the intricate details and the painstaking methods usually associated with wedding planning, it’s understandable that most grooms would be fine with letting their future wives handle the majority of these proceedings, if not all of them. Yet most grooms don’t always have a choice in the matter. The role of wedding planner remains a female-dominated responsibility, with few grooms choosing to buck this trend,
communication senior Sylvia Saumell-Bastone said. “It depends on the couple because a lot of women want to have total control over the wedding process, down to every little detail,” Saumell-Bastone said. “But some women want their husband to be involved in certain aspects, so the guy really has to listen to the woman, figure out what his role is going to be and then go from there.” Saumell-Bastone and her husband Michael took the latter route, opting to partner in planning the wedding. They collaborated on the budget and allowed each
other to have an equal say. She said that she was mostly responsible for scheduling the wedding, formulating a guest list and planning the reception menu and they worked together on the other details. By the time the two were wed in 2003, they could claim that they were as equal in their planning of the wedding as they vowed to be in their union. “Well, we’ve always been kind of equal with everything, so I asked him, ‘What do you find really important (with this ceremony)’,” she said. “He was like, ‘Well, I really
want to have a hand in the music, the colors and the price,’ so we sat down and figured that out. It was pretty much half-and-half; it was all equal.” While Michael Saumell-Bastone was proactive in the planning of his wedding, other grooms are content to simply have a say in the affairs, albeit a small one. Bill Montgomery said his wife Jennifer and her mother led the bulk of the wedding opertion, but he had a large hand in choosing New Orleans as the location for his 1990 ceremory, as well as planning the reception menus.
“I like flowers, but I didn’t really need to be making decisions on everything like that,” Montgomery said. “So that worked out great with me. I was perfectly happy.” Montgomery said that although grooms tend to participate little in wedding planning, the experience could prove to be a nice opening to their marriages. “If you just say, ‘Oh, I don’t care; do what you want,’ that may set the tone for a not-so-good relationship,” he said. “I think it needs to be for both people because both people are going to be there and have important roles.”
Bachelor party celebrates freedom, finding love By James Rincon The Wedding Guide
As long as there are weddings and strip clubs, there is the bachelor party. Nothing says ‘I love you’ like a night of debauchery mere hours before walking down the aisle. “It’s like eating the same bowl of cereal for the rest of your life when you get married. We’re here so you can have a little buffet before you do it,” Legends Gentleman’s Club Manager D.J. Hernandez said.
Legends Gentlemen’s Club is the self-proclaimed home of Houston’s best bachelor parties. After a night of pampering, they add a twist to the lucky bachelor’s last night of freedom. “We sit him down and two girl dance for the him. Then the girls stand him up and whoop him. They make him get on his hands and knees and walk around like a dog— we call that a little home training,” Hernandez said. “We make him feel special, then we beat him down and
try to change his mind.” Humiliating the bachelor on his special night is an age-old tradition said Charlotte Daingerfield, coowner of Nooky’s Erotic Bakery. “Very seldom is the bachelor involved in his party. It’s the guys trying to either be nice or really nasty to him,” Daingerfield said. “They give him this little micro-penis cake. When else do they get the chance to tell their buddy that he really sucks at being a stud muffin?” Daingerfield said that though
bachelor-party planners come to Nooky’s for “booby balloons” and the occasional Chocolate Love Bucket, it’s usually the bachelorettes who indulge in her creatively crass culinary masterpieces. “We have more games for the bachelorette than we have for the bachelor,” she said. But for the boys, bring on the beer, babes and embarrassment. “The bachelor’s buddies are making the whole night about him. The humiliation is a little payback for
everybody,” Hernandez said. Although monogamous commitment to one person for eternity may be a daunting concept for the groom-to-be, Daingerfield and Hernandez agree that the bachelor party is a way for friends to celebrate finding the love of one’s life. “We don’t say don’t get married. Marriage is a great thing, but we make sure to let him know that this is what the fun is about,” Hernandez said. “And we make sure to tell him we also do divorce parties.”
WEDDING GUIDE
The Daily Cougar
Food choice critical decision
■
9
Cake key to every wedding reception color symbolized the bride’s purity and chastity, and the cake’s sophisticated design showcased the family’s status. It would be difficult to iimagine any bride The traditional white, vanilla pound cake is still celebrating her reception w without a wedding cake. the most common wedding cake, but Allen, who It has become such a st standby in modern has operated her bakery since 1986, said new trends weddings that, on averag average, have developed as couples become couples will spend m more more creative and want to “bling on the cake than on their cakes out.” decorations, thei their “With so many wedding shows “(The cake) is the one thing llimousine li mousine or the on TV now, things are taking the bride and groom want to a totally different turn. Brides groom’s tuxedo tuxedo. Through years of celebrate together with their want their cake to reflect their customs, the ccake personality. This includes jewels, guests. It’s tradition.” has become a edible decorations and making it necessity desp despite the — Roslyn Allen, Sweet Delights Bakery more colorful and less plain,” said cost. Allen. “It’s the one thing The more elaborate the cake the bride and ggroom however, the more it costs. Bakeries want to celebra celebrate will charge by the hour, but the together with th their guests,” said Roslyn larger and more detailed cakes will naturally require Allen, owner an and cake designer at more time to prepare. Preparation for the most Houston’s Sweet Delights bakery. “It’s detailed cakes can take more than 20 hours, and any tradition tradition.” cake big enough to feed 100 guests will cost about The tradition $800, Allen said. developed through a Cecilia Garcia, co-owner and baker at Houston’s history as equally rich as Satin Slices, said the bride and groom need to plan the cake. According to carefully around their budget, but to never overlook the Bridal Association quality in an attempt to save money. of America, many “If the bride and groom don’t put a lot of thought ancient cultures used toward the cake, it will be immediately forgettable the cake as a symbol of for the guests. But if (the cake) is from a good bakery, fertility. they’ll notice the flavor, texture and decoration. In a Roman That’s what makes a great cake,” Garcia said. wedding, guests would Southern couples have traditionally opted for bring wheat cakes to a groom’s cake to go alongside the wedding cake. crumble over the bride Usually chocolate, the groom’s cake is smaller and while guests gathered is crafted after a particular passion or hobby of the the fallen crumbs for groom, like an alma mater or fraternity. good luck. A similar Garcia said that with some exceptions, the practice developed in groom’s cake is becoming less common. the Middle Ages, when “It’s a local tradition that’s starting to disappear,” guests would stack she said. “Many weddings are for over 200 people, so piles of sticky buns you want the bride’s cake to stand out, whereas the for the couple to kiss groom’s cake is an extra expense. Some Texans still over. ask for it, but most prefer to spend a little more on It wasn’t until the bride.” the Victorian age Whatever size or decorations the couple decides in England however to pursue for their cake, Garcia stresses that they that white, multi-tiered don’t cut corners. w wedding cakes regularly “It doesn’t matter if the cake is small or big. It’s a appeared. The white masterpiece that has to be displayed,” Garcia said. By Josh Malone
The Wedding Guide
By Shaista Mohammed The Wedding Guide
Food is a critical element of a wedding celebration.You can span the range of cost, intricacy and accommodation and still not please everyone. Still, if you get the food right, the reception will fall into place. There are many ways to go regarding food choices, starting with the kind of wedding you will be having. More informal events might be OK with a potluck or barbeque, whereas larger, elaborate affairs are likely more suited to seated, full-service dinners, catered by the vendor of choice. An open bar, if you have one at all, might be a feature of the wedding package if you go with an established full-service venue. When choosing from a prescribed catering list, keep food allergies and religious and ideological preferences in mind. Bacon-wrapped shrimp might sound great, unless they’re part of a plate served to guest with religious dietary restrictions, such as Jews and Muslims. Vegetarianism and veganism is fairly prevalent now, and most formal venues will have options for those and other special diets available. A less formal, yet suited-forcatering option, is the wedding buffet. Guests tend to mingle more at a buffet than at a seated, full-service dinner. Also, it makes offering a range of foods much easier. There is also the option of an hors d’oeuvres and light refreshment reception, traditional for weddings held earlier in the day. This option allows informality, as well as creativity, and can be a big cost-cutter. The wedding brunch is also an underused tool in the wedding food toolbox. Afternoons and evenings can be steamy in Houston, but the mornings tend to be fairly salubrious, and a wedding brunch can be either dressed up or down to suit any event. Another useful thing to keep in mind is the palate of your guests. If your audience is smaller and you know their tastes, feel free to indulge them. However, if the event includes guests from a wide variety of ages and cultures, mild is the lowest common denominator. Stick to main dishes that are largely unobjectionable and save the surprises for smaller things, such as the sides or appetizers. Food doesn’t have to be intimidating to work well. There is a plethora of advice out there on what to look for, how to talk to caterers, and if and how to hire a wedding planner. Keeping a few of these guidelines in mind should help steer you clear of major pitfalls.
Tuesday, March 31, 2009
Photo by Justin Flores
10
■
Tuesday, March 31, 2009
WEDDING GUIDE
The Daily Cougar
COUGARCOUPLES Bryce Findley and Rachel Christensen
Jim Curtis and Jennifer Andreas
Date: June 20, 2009 in Conroe Meeting: Dating for seven years, Findley asked out Christensen as part of a hangman game during finals in high school. Proposal: When the couple was traveling in Singapore, Findley took Christensen to a restaurant on the China Sea. “At first I thought that he was taking me there to propose. But when we got there, there was a table next to us that had rose petals on it. So I thought that if he were going to propose, he would have done something like that,” Christensen said. “Turns out they seated us at the wrong table.” After roses were delivered, Findley dropped to one knee and proposed.“ He proposed on July 6, 2007, so that our first day as an engaged couple would be on July 7, 2007, the luckiest day of the year,” she said. Dress: Christensen went to one dress store and tried on ten dresses. She narrowed it down to two colored dresses. “I wanted color in the wedding, instead of just white,” Christensen said. Cake: The wedding cake is Photo courtesy of Rachel Christensen white, but the groom’s cake is a pool table because of Findley’s passion for the game. “He wasn’t excited at all about the cake until we got there and he saw that they could do all this crazy stuff then he said ‘I want a pool table,’” Christensen said. Traditions: Opting for a non-denominational wedding, Christensen and Findley aren’t following any traditions. “I can’t think of any (traditions). We’re just trying to stick with stuff that has meaning to us,” Christensen said. “It’s good to have tradition, but if it’s not something that’s really special to you, you don’t need to include it.” Name: “Yeah, I’ll be Rachel Findley, because it’s shorter than my original last name, (and) it’ll be easier on forms,” Christensen said. Honeymoon: The couple will honeymoon in Negril, Jamaica. Advice: “Just relax and don’t stress out if things don’t go well. You’re going to run into problems with invitations, (and) things not being exactly the way you want them to, but in the end it’s all good. Just have fun, don’t stress out,” Christensen said.
Photo courtesy of Jim Curtis Date: December 29, 2009 in Houston Meeting: The couple met at Andreas’ freshman-year Honors College retreat. “Things just started to click,” Curtis said. Proposal: Curtis made Andreas a stack of pancakes, her favorite food, for their two-year anniversary and taped a note that read, “Will you marry me?” to the bottom of the clear plate. Unfortunately, Andreas felt too full to finish her pancakes. “I kept saying ‘I’m really full. Can I eat these later?’” Andreas said. “I was like eating away and kind of just playing with it and finally I noticed the note underneath.” Curtis described the look on her face as “incredible.” “I had been poised, dropped on one knee, for about 10 minutes. She finally noticed, her face lit up and she lunged at me.” Dress: Andreas has ordered a custom-made dress, but further details are top-secret until the day of the wedding. “He doesn’t get to see it until I walk the aisle wearing it,” she said. Cake: Curtis plans on having a German chocolate groom’s cake, while Andreas is designing a bride’s cake described as “not only multi-tier, but multi-cake” by the groom. The couple plans on using a different type of cake in each layer, from cheesecake to cream-filled pancakes. Name: The couple has decided to take Curtis’ last name. Tradition: Andreas is following a German tradition for wedding bands. She will wear her engagement ring on her right hand and move it to her left hand after exchanging matrimonial vows. Honeymoon: “We’re going to get through school and go on a honeymoon after we graduate,” Andreas said. She would like to go to Europe. Advice: “Get as much help from your friends as you can,” Curtis said. “Her mom is a florist. My roommate’s girlfriend’s mom is doing our cake... We’re getting as much as we can through friends and family. Friends also add that extra sentimental touch.”
Gabriel Konigsberg and Roxanne Werner
David Tate and Rebecca Pena
Date: July 18, 2009 at the Covenant Liberal Baptist Church. Meeting: The two met at University resident assistant training and quickly became friends. “We were really good friends for a while until one day I sort of woke up and realized ‘Hey, I really like this kid,’” Werner said. Proposal: The couple had been dating for a year before the proposal. “I was sort of starting to wonder if he was going to propose and he knew that I was wondering,” Werner said. He surprised her by getting on one knee after lunch in her apartment one day. Photo courtesy of Roxanne Werner “No big spectacle, nothing huge and it was really sweet, and I was really surprised,” she said. Dress: Werner initially searched bridal stores and the Internet for the blue dress of her dreams, until she found a $60 white gown online that stole her heart. Cake: The wedding will feature cupcakes from Crave Cupcakes for each guest. “I love the idea that everyone can get their own cake instead of a massive cake. They’re super delicious,” she said. Tradition: Werner said that she has avoided following by-the-book wedding arrangements, but mentioned that the wedding will feature some traditions that honor Konigsberg’s Jewish roots as well as her Catholic background. The couple will stomp on glass at the end of the ceremony and the service may feature a Hebrew reading. The couple is considering serving Communion and will do a hand blessing that is a variation of the Wiccan wedding tradition of handfasting. “We really want it to be ‘us’,” Werner said. Name: Werner has not decided what to do with her name. “I go back and forth,” she said. “Sometimes I want to have that link, but it’s my name and it’s an archaic tradition. I do like the idea of us being a family. That’s why I’m thinking of doing both, even though that makes my name ridiculously long.” Honeymoon: The couple has decided to use the money for the honeymoon on furnishing their new home instead. Advice: “I can’t stress enough that people should examine why we have these traditions. Examine why you’re doing things and, unless it’s something that you really love, do it your way,” Werner said.
Date: August 22, 2009 at their church in Stafford Meeting: Pena and Tate attended the same church. Proposal: Pena and her fiancé flew to New Jersey to celebrate Tate’s grandmother’s 80th birthday last summer Tate proposed on the boardwalk at night. “I couldn’t say anything because I knew I was going to cry. I was so in shock. It took me a long time to finally tell him yes,” Pena said. Dress: Details on the dress are under lock and key until the day of the wedding. Traditions: Pena and Tate plan on following all the standard traditions. Pena wants to take pictures before the ceremony, but the groom’s family is very traditional. “I’m thinking of giving a single white rose to (both of) our mothers as a symbol of peace and the unity of our families,” Pena said. Photo courtesy of Justin Flores Name: Pena will change her name. “(It’s) still four letters, it’s no big deal. You can buy a name changing kit (and) it has all the forms in it,” she said. Honeymoon: Honeymoon plans are still being decided. Advice: Pena says the best advice she can give is to do your research to get the best price and to sit down and discuss each other’s expectations. “I think that’s how bridezillas get started,” Pena said. Also, cutting costs on food and photography are to be avoided at all costs, “unless you want to cheapen your wedding,” she said. Pena also recommends counseling for engaged couples. “Even after six years, it’s a whole other stage of life when you’re talking about marriage,” she said.
WEDDING GUIDE
The Daily Cougar
Tuesday, March 31, 2009
■
11
Couples Life goes on after marriage seek equal rights By Sylvia Saumell-Baston The Wedding Guide
By Solange Inzillo The Wedding Guide
Same-sex couples face many barriers today when it comes to marriage, but Stephen Bowers and fiancé David Lucca don’t mind overcoming them. They don’t mind taking their time, moving states or countries or whether it’s called “marriage” or “civil union.” What they do mind is if they have the same legal rights as any other couple. “I don’t really care what the official term is, whether it’s a civil union or a marriage certificate. I think it’s ridiculous that they have a difference. I just want the same legal rights and privileges,” communication senior Bowers said. The fluctuation of same-sex marriage state laws will direct the couple’s future plans. “We met on a gay gamer forum and have been together for almost a year,” Bowers said. “Our marriage will depend on how things go in California. He’s living there right now, and I will move there as soon as I can. We’ll go to Canada as a backup. We’re taking our time.” California is challenging Proposition 8, which in November outlawed same-sex marriages. Only Massachusetts and Connecticut legally recognize same-sex marriages. However, civil unions and domestic partnerships are legal in several states. New Jersey, New Hampshire and Vermont recognize civil unions. Washington, Oregon, Maine, Hawaii, Maryland and Washington, D.C. recognize domestic partnerships. The difference between the three terms lies in their varying legal benefits, political science and English junior Christopher Busby said. “Civil unions are created to provide only state-level benefits, whereas civil marriages generally have federal recognition,” said Busby, public relations officer of Gay Lesbian or Bisexual ALliance, UH’s lesbian, gay, bi-sexual and transgender student organization. “But the Defense of Marriage Act passed during the Clinton administration bans the federal government from recognizing same-sex marriages performed in Massachusetts, Connecticut or internationally.” DOMA laws define samesex marriage as a state issue. This means that the federal government and all states that adopt DOMA laws, such as Texas, need not recognize same-sex marriages enacted in other states. “In Texas, same-sex couples are denied hospital visitation rights, joint child custody rights and the right to make funeral decisions, among many others,” Busby said. “Though civil unions would be great in the short term, it is also an admission that same-sex couples are not equal to opposite-sex couples.”
Married students quickly learn that there are many more obstacles to face together once th the he “I-Do’s” “II-D -Do’ os” have hav a e been said. As many students have found, nurturing a successful and healthy relationship is learned through trial and error. “Expect
the arguments,” biology junior Sarah Kelsay said. “You have to be able to work through it.” Kelsay and her husband of five years dated for a year and a half before tying the knot. Kelsay says that at the beginning of their marriage, it i was the little things such as not taking out tthe trash that annoyed her most. She has learned to be straightforward and simply ask him to do it, she said. Minor is issues often become larger ones later, said UH ass associate professor of psychology Dr. Raymon Raymond Knee. Negative aspects of a relationship are noticed more than the positive ones, said K Knee, who also serves as the director of the Inter Interpersonal Relations and Motivation Research Group. G “Acknow “Acknowledge and talk these issues through as they aris arise, not once they’ve boiled over into anger and d disgust,” Knee said. When it comes to the household, couples should disc discuss the issues openly, honestly and frequently enough to appraise the agreement and tasks aat hand, Knee said. Forr ma Fo mat math t senior Vanessa Mosley, who has been married for five years, the most pressin pressing issue in her marriage has been the finances. “Finance habits have been our biggest concern,” Mosley said. She and her husband, who she
Elegant Cakes by Lisa
The elegance of a bride is reflected in her cake. By appointment only 713.922.9209 ElegantCakeByLisa.com 1964 West Gray, Suite 213 Houston, Texas 77019
Houston’s Premiere Service of Wedding Officiants
!
dated for more than a year before marriage, came to an agreement to keep their finances separate. The arrangement has worked for them so far and has allowed them to concentrate more on their three children and on finding time to spend with one another. “Every day is different so it’s hard to make a schedule,” Mosley said about putting aside a specified time for she and her husband to reconnect. They try to have a date night once a week, Mosley said but planning ahead with their busy schedules does not always work. “Nothing is going to be perfect,” Kelsay said, who also said things get better the longer a marriage lasts. Corporate communication senior Brock Anderson, who has been married for six years, said the keys to a happy marriage are honesty, remaining good friends and genuinely wanting to be around each other. “Treat the relationship as a really good friendship,” Anderson said. Knee agrees. “Relationships are always changing,” Knee said. “You want to be in touch with where you and your partner are over time. Learn your own expectations and those of your partner be flexible, honest and each give something to the relationship.”
12
■
Tuesday, March 31, 2009
WEDDING GUIDE
The Daily Cougar