Wedding Guide FALL 2015
A special supplement to the Daily Republic & Advisor
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Fall Wedding Guide
October 2015
Fall Wedding Guide
‘We want people to get married in a church’ Local parishes offer different requirements, philosophies on hosting nuptial ceremonies and receptions for couples
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By KELLA RODIEK The Daily Republic
Our goal in this, the only goal, is that you create your own rules for your marriage, and that you’re in agreement ... Carrie Pohlen, facility and finance manager of Mitchell Wesleyan Church
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Some churches, such as Mitchell Wesleyan and First United Methodist Church, do not require that the bride or groom be members of the church in order to wed there. Others, such as Zion Lutheran, do hold membership to the church as a prerequisite. Pohlen said at Wesleyan it’s not about official membership, but rather about having a belief system that matches the church. “We had people from Plankinton who had never set foot in this church before just recently get married here,” she said, explaining however, that if a couple choose to marry there, a relationship then needs to be established. “If you’re interested in using one of our pastors, then you need
to meet with that pastor so he gets to know you a little bit and that agreement is made.” Couples may also elect to bring in a pastor from a different church, providing the presiding pastor of the church they want to marry in approves the arrangement, she said. The same is true for First United and Zion Lutheran. Office Manager Short Larson, at First United Methodist Church, said they prefer a pastor of the Methodist denomination if not the presiding pastor, but did explain that some exceptions may be made under the church’s dis-
October 2015
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What’s inside
Proven, recommended gifts Marriage-tested registry items that couples love. 15
Creative cakes Unique flavors to try at your wedding. 5
On the cover Cover design by Lisa Nelson/Republic. Cover photo by The Daily Republic.
See CHURCHES, Page 4
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hurches want you to marry in the house of the Lord, and many in Mitchell are willing to be flexible to make that happen. As Carrie Pohlen, facility and finance manager at Mitchell Wesleyan Church, said, “today’s costs for weddings are getting crazy,” and that factor can often deter people from holding their ceremony in a church. “We want people to get married in a church with a pastor,” she said, “So the philosophy of our church is to set our rental rates low enough that people won’t eliminate the church as an option because the rental rates are too high.” Beyond price, there are several other negotiable and non-negotiable variables that a couple will encounter upon choosing to marry in a church. And, though the basics are similar for many, each establishment varies slightly in its process of marrying a new couple.
cretion. Once the head pastor’s approval is given of both the couple and the officiant, the couple often are required to participate in some form of pre-marital mentoring. At First United, Larson said the couple meet with the pastor for an average of two to four sessions. Mitchell Wesleyan Church uses a longer six- to eight-week mentoring course guided by a seasoned married couple that is trained in an intensive
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Fall Wedding Guide
October 2015
CHURCHES Continued from Page 3
Christian curriculum, according to Pohlen. She explained that the coupleto-be take an online survey questionnaire separately from each other to determine what kinds of topics the couple have discussed or haven’t discussed, and what types of things they agree or disagree on. The certified mentors, which Pohlen said she and her husband are, then discuss such topics with the new couple and give them assignments to discuss at home before moving on to the next subject. “Our goal in this, the only goal,” Pohlen said, “is that you create your own rules for your marriage, and that you’re in agreement on how you’re going to manage your finances, how you’re going to manage your household and discipline your kids, so we just have all of those conversations.” With a church chosen, officiant approved and the couple ready to wed, some churches’ role in the big day ends after the
Kella Rodiek/Republic
The sanctuary of First United Methodist Church in Mitchell is pictured in this Daily Republic file photo.
ceremony. Other establishments provide a place for the couple to hold their reception at the church, but it isn’t common in some Mitchell churches.
Size of the facility is a factor for whether receptions are held at the church, but even some large Mitchell churches, such as Northridge Baptist
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Church, do not hold receptions. Mitchell Wesleyan, First United Methodist and Zion Lutheran do hold them, however, Lois Brech, secretary at Zion Lutheran, said
their last reception was roughly two years ago, and Larson reported that First United hadn’t held a reception in nearly 20 years. Larson said the church’s smaller size and regulations prohibiting things like alcohol consumption are probably factors. Most couples don’t choose to have the reception somewhere where you can’t “eat, drink and be merry,” she said. Pohlen said that while Mitchell Wesleyan also bans the use of alcohol and prohibits dancing at receptions hosted in its facility, couples do still find the church attractive for receptions because of it’s large, accommodating layout. It’s price is attractive, too, she said. The church charges $150 to rent the entire facility for a wedding (reception included), which Pohlen said is a fairly recent change to bring the price down significantly from what it used to cost. “We aren’t in the business of making money off of our facility,” she said. “We really just want people to be able to get married here, if that’s what they want to do.”
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Have your cake and eat it too
By Metro Creative
By Metro Creative
tercream frosting was once the gold standard. But today’s couples are being more adventurous with their wedding cakes and winning rave reviews from guests along the way. The vast scope of wedding cake flavor choices available to brides and grooms is astonishing. Options may range from the traditional, to something adventurous and daring. Keeping in mind that couples will need to please the masses, finding a compromise between plain vanilla and a mocha-chile-coconut
October 2015
Metro Creative photo
Groom’s cakes and unique flavors are on trend.
Guests and well-wishers expect to see at least one cake at wedding receptions. But wedding guests should not be surprised if they attend a wedding and notice two cakes sharing the spotlight on the dessert table. Groom’s cakes have existed for generations but have fallen out of favor in many parts of North America since the 1970s. Now groom’s cakes are experiencing a resurgence in popularity. A groom’s cake traditionally represents something masculine, providing a contrast to the oft-feminine features, such as floral bouquets and frilly gowns, that dominate many weddings. Groom’s
cake designs often reflect a particular hobby or interest of the groom’s. Historically, groom’s cakes are chocolate, a sharp contrast to traditional wedding cakes, which tend to be vanilla and white. Tradition once called for single women at the wedding to take home a slice of the groom’s cake to sleep with under their pillows. It was believed the cake would help them have sweet dreams of the man they would eventually marry. Women today are likely no longer snuggling up to fondant and mousse cake slices at night, and wedding cakes are no longer relegated See GROOM’S, Page 7
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See FLAVORS, Page 7
Groom’s cakes making a delicious comeback
Explore unique flavor combinations that look, taste like a one of a kind
A wedding cake is the piece de resistance of the wedding ceremony. Guests anxiously await the unveiling of the cake near the end of the festivities. Modern cakes are showpieces grander in scale than in years past. As bakers and confectioners hone their skills with fondant, buttercream and gum paste even further, the results are often impressive, awe-inspiring cake designs. While the look of a wedding cake is certainly important, cakes should not only look good, but taste good as well. Vanilla cake with vanilla but-
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Fall Wedding Guide
October 2015
FLAVORS Continued from Page 5
surprise is essential. Otherwise, they risk an unpopular flavor and a lot of wasted, expensive cake. Some couples shy away from more adventurous cakes because they fear something chocolately or not white in color will not be well suited to a wedding reception. Such couples should keep in mind that any flavor of cake can be hidden beneath layers of pearly white fondant or royal icing. Therefore, the sky is the limit with regard to flavor combinations. Those who might want to veer from tradition can consider these clever cake combinations. • Lemon cake with vanilla buttercream: Lemons are tart, juicy and refreshing, helping to cleanse the palate after a rich meal. Lemon cake, with its summery feel, is tailor-made for summer weddings. The flavor is popular enough to appeal to many, but just a little different
to add an unexpected zip of flavor. • Chocolate cake with chocolate ganache and mocha filling: True chocoholics will be hardpressed to resist such a decadent flavor profile. Chocolate can be sweet and satisfying and a welcome change from the vanilla cakes commonly served. For traditionalists, the cake can be covered with a white chocolate ganache. Or couples can ask that the cake be adorned with white sugar roses for an eye-appealing contrast. Chocolate cakes covered with autumn hued flowers go over well at fall weddings. • Red velvet cake with cream cheese frosting: Red velvet cake was once a regionally specific staple, but now has grown steadily in popularity across the country. Red velvet has quickly become the new classic, as its vibrant red coloring offers a shock of something different, while the flavor is mild for those who are not comfortable taking risks. The richness and creaminess of cream cheese is irresistible. • White cake with chocolate
mousse: Couples who want a bit of chocolate but do not want to be overwhelmed can select a white cake that is filled with light and rich chocolate mousse. It’s the perfect blend of vanilla and chocolate for guests who enjoy both. • Variety tiers: Those who cannot settle on just one flavor can have different flavors on each tier of their cakes. This gives guests some flavorful variety and enables them to pick their favorite flavor combination. • Brides- and grooms-to-be who have specific flavors in mind can ask their bakers to include two cupcakes with the wedding cake. Then the couple can enjoy their own mini cakes while the rest of the guests enjoy a more classic cake. In addition, an assortment of cupcakes in lieu of one cake can give guests the opportunity to sample several different flavors. Cakes are a part of many special events, but few cakes are fawned over as much as wedding cakes. Couples can spice things up by choosing a nontraditional flavor combination.
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Fall Wedding Guide
GROOM’S Continued from Page 5
to vanilla cake with vanilla icing, which may account for the waning popularity of groom’s cakes. Yet with wedding cake bakers showing off their creative prowess on television or through their own artistic bakery displays, it’s no wonder that couples looking for something unique are once again embracing the tradition of groom’s cakes. Couples who are mulling whether or not to add a groom’s cake to their menus should consider the following tips. • Make sure it is highly personal. Groom’s cakes typically reference hobbies, affiliations or interests of the groom. Some men may want their cake to showcase the logo of their favorite professional sports team, while others may want a cake inspired by a favorite superhero. • Involve the groom in the process. Despite the name, groom’s cakes may not always involve the groom. A cake may be designed or selected by the groom’s bride-to-be or his mother. Some forward-thinking brides may want to encourage their groomsto-be to select their own cakes and offer input on their designs.
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• Find a bakery that has experience in whimsical cakes. Groom’s cakes are very often intricate structures and sculptures. The groom’s cake may be more labor-intensive than the traditional wedding cake, so couples may want to shop around for a cake chef with the experience to pull off the design they desire. • Experiment with flavor combinations. Because the groom’s cake is all about that special guy, the flavor of the cake should be centered around what he would enjoy. The sky is the limit on flavors and can include traditional chocolate, candy bar-inspired flavors, coffee, coconut, or even a bacon-infused cake. • Consider serving the groom’s cake at the rehearsal. Some couples prefer to serve the groom’s cake at the rehearsal dinner rather than having two cakes at the wedding. Guests may not be able to fit two slices of cake after a large wedding meal, so serving the groom’s cake at the rehearsal dinner may be the best of both worlds. The bride — and her cake — typically steal the show at the average wedding. Therefore, a groom’s cake can be a special touch that allows the groom to bask in his own wedding-day spotlight.
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Fall Wedding Guide
October 2015
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Fall Wedding Guide
October 2015
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History of wedding accessory unveiled Though brides know the headpiece is tradition, most don’t understand why it’s worn By Metro Creative
Wedding day attire has changed in many ways, but one component of getting dressed up for a wedding that has withstood the test of time is the wearing of a wedding veil. Though many brides know it is tradition to wear a bridal veil, many do not understand why. Here is a look at the history behind the veil and why it is continued to be worn today. The veil and the bouquet that a bride carries may predate the wearing of white. Although there is no definitive reason for the wearing of a veil, many surmise it has to do with ancient Greeks and Romans’ fear of evil spirits and demons. In fact, this is where many of the bridal
traditions actually come from, including bridesmaids wearing similar dresses in order to serve as decoys for the bride. In an effort to frighten away or disguise the bride from evil spirits, brides-tobe were dressed in brightly colored fabrics like red and obscured by a veil. But in many cases, the veil prevented the bride from seeing well. That is why her father or another person “gave her away.” He was actually escorting her down the aisle so she wouldn’t bump or trip into anything. The veil also served as a method of shielding the bride’s face from her future husband, especially in the cases of arranged marriages. Superstition has it that it is bad luck for the groom
to see the bride prior to the wedding. A veil hiding her face also ensured that the groom would not see his soon-to-be-betrothed up until the ceremony. Eventually the meaning behind the veil transformed as weddings evolved into religious ceremonies. The veil came to symbolize modesty and obedience. In many religions it is seen as a symbol of reverence for women to cover their heads. When white wedding dresses were worn to symbolize chastity, the white veil followed suit. There are others who say that before the advent of shampoo, people didn’t wash their hair as often and it could get quite dirty. The veil may have been a method to cover up
unsightly hair. Regardless of the origins, veils continue to be sported by today’s brides, who choose from a few different styles. A flyaway is a short veil that ends at the shoulders, while a sweep veil ends at the floor. Chapel and cathedral veils follow the bride at a significant length (9 and 12 feet, respectively). A blusher is a very short veil that covers just the bride’s face as she enters the ceremony. With a fingertip veil, the veil reaches the bride’s waist and brushes at her fingertips. The veil will coordinate with the style of the gown, and many wedding attire consultants suggest choosing the gown prior to the headpiece and veil.
Metro Creative photo
The veil has a history unknown to many brides.
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Fall Wedding Guide
October 2015
Relax, rehearse and enjoy the night before By Metro Creative
Metro Creative photo
A smooth rehearsal dinner can put your mind at ease before the big day.
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accommodate guests on special diets or those who are vegetarian or vegan. The rehearsal dinner party can be quite large, so you’ll want to make your reservation as early as possible so you can get the restaurant of your choice. The larger the group, the earlier you should make the reservation. • Invite the right guests. Some couples may be confused as to whom they should invite to their rehearsal dinners. Wedding party members and their significant others should always make the cut, as should the parents of both the bride and groom and the person officiating the wedding. Kids who will be in the wedding and their parents also should be invited. Many couples even invite their immediate family members and siblings, even if those relatives are
not in the wedding. • Determine who is paying in advance. The groom’s family traditionally pays for the rehearsal dinner, but that tradition has largely fallen by the wayside. Couples should determine who will be paying for the dinner in advance so there’s no confusion once the meal is over. Couples who are handling the bill for their weddings should include the rehearsal dinner in their overall wedding budget. • Try to create a relaxed atmosphere. Many of the people invited to the rehearsal dinner may be meeting one another for the first time, so couples should aim to create a relaxed atmosphere to reduce any nervousness and tension. The rehearsal dinner may also be the only See REHEARSAL, Page 11
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One of the final responsibilities a couple has before they tie the knot is planning their rehearsal dinner. Typically the night before the wedding, the rehearsal dinner is an opportunity for the families of the bride- and groom-to-be and the members of the bridal party to get to know one another over a good meal. Planning a rehearsal dinner is much less complicated than planning the wedding, but couples still must take steps in advance of the dinner to ensure it goes smoothly. • Choose the right restaurant. Couples who are having their ceremony and reception at the same venue may be able to have their rehearsal dinner at the venue as well. But many couples still prefer the rehearsal dinner be held at a different restau-
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Trunk Show held at Bliss Bridal By The Daily Republic
Bliss Bridal and Formalwear Boutique in Mitchell is holding an Allure Bridals Trunk Show Event Friday through Sunday. The event showcases dresses from the current
REHEARSAL Continued from Page 10
their family and friends, as the wedding day itself and the ensuing reception can be hectic. So take advantage of the more relaxed atmosphere and share a few laughs with those closest to you. • Bring the gifts for members of your wedding party. The rehearsal dinner is when brides- and grooms-to-be give their bridesmaids and groomsmen their gifts. If the gifts are especially large, then you might want to give them before you enter the restaurant or even back at the hotel. But in many cases, it’s perfectly alright to give out the bridesmaid and groomsmen gifts at the rehearsal dinner. Allow time for toasts. Toasts are not just
season of the Allure Bridals gown line. Any purchases on Allure Bridals dresses during the event will be 10 percent off the retail price. The Trunk Show is by appointment only.
a tradition of the wedding reception, but of the rehearsal dinner as well. The couple’s parents often want to toast the brideand groom-to-be, and such a toast may be conducted in tandem. But the groom is also expected to give a toast, most notably to his bride-to-be. In addition, the couple walking down the aisle can toast their bridal party during the rehearsal dinner, thanking them for being a part of their big day. Rehearsal dinners are typically a fun chance for couples and their families and friends to enjoy an intimate and relaxing dinner with one another the night before the couple’s big day. But as relaxing as the rehearsal dinner should be, couples should still follow certain protocols to ensure the dinner goes off without a hitch.
Fall Wedding Guide
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October 2015
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Fall Wedding Guide
October 2015
What I’m doing to make my single guests comfortable at my wedding By REBECCA SCHATZ The Washington Post
I didn’t follow all the etiquette rules when planning my wedding, but I stuck to a few of my own: I wanted to make sure the event looked and felt personalized. And it was important to me that our big day didn’t single out my single friends. I’ve been to more weddings as a single person than as a pair, so as I planned to say “goodbye” to single life and “hello” to married bliss, I asked myself: “What would single Becky want to see at this wedding?” I remember what it feels like to be single, because it wasn’t that long ago. It’s sometimes awesome, sometimes awkward, sometimes happy and sometimes it hurts — just like being in a relationship. With that in mind, here are three things that got axed. 1. No singles table. Creating a table or two full of singles is the
ADVICE equivalent of making them sit at the kids’ table. I’m all for my unattached friends meeting other fun people at my wedding, but I have faith that they’ll meet them on their own. Whether they’re single, taken or married, I grouped my guests by how well they might vibe together and who has some sort of connection to one another. Let’s use my cousin as an example: She’s an out-of-town guest, she’s single and she is coming to the wedding with her mom. I have her sitting with my D.C. friends — single and not — because I know they’re warm, friendly and about the same age. Relationship status never factored into that decision. 2. No matchmaking. I love playing matchmaker and consider myself mildly successful at it. I
think of it as a professional hazard, because I enjoy asking questions and finding out about people’s personal lives. My fiancé would tell you I like to meddle. This doesn’t always go well. Recently, I tried to introduce a co-worker to one of my guy friends at a birthday party at a bar. The match bombed: The girl brought a date and the guy drank too much. (Let the slurring of words and inappropriate jokes commence.) As the bride, I think it’s my job to provide good food, drinks and music to set the scene. I want to facilitate intros for any friends, but I won’t play matchmaker unless the match makes sense. Nothing is worse than engaging in awkward small talk simply because the bride and groom don’t want a single friend to feel left out of coupledom. The wedding atmosphere — the everlasting love, the fancy clothes,
the booze — can be an aphrodisiac. But you don’t want the bride and groom’s matchmaking fail to be the lasting memory from your wedding. 3. No bouquet toss. The bouquet toss is awkward for singles and couples alike: Singles feel called out, and couples feel weird watching their single friends dread that dance-floor moment. We all have those married friends who can’t get enough of this tradition. Some might even physically push you to fight for those flowers. I’ve been there. I went to weddings where my married friends kept urging me toward the front of the line, in hopes of clawing my way to wedded bliss. I never once got up there, partly because catching the bouquet means nothing to me and partly because I felt embarrassed to be one of a handful of single women there. I never caught the bouquet. And guess what? I still got engaged.
Considering children in the wedding party By Metro Creative
Engaged couples often ask their closest friends and family members to be part of their wedding ceremonies. Children often participate in weddings and can add joviality to this special occasion. However, it’s important to consider a child’s age and maturity before having him or her be part of the wedding. Some houses of worship restrict child participation to certain ages, so check with clergy regarding their rules before including kids in the wedding party. If children need to be coaxed down the aisle or are prone to disruptive behavior, it may be best to give them another role, such as handing out bubbles or birdseed after the wedding.
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Wedding favors a fun way to give guests extra memories By Metro Creative
Planning a perfect wedding is no small undertaking. From scheduling venues and hiring vendors to tasting menus, lots of decisions must be made when planning a wedding. But when the pieces fall into place, the entire day can be magical. One of the final components of weddings are the favors guests will take home with them as mementos of the festivities. Though favors don’t require immediate attention, that does not mean couples should wait until the last minute to made decisions regarding their wedding favors. Brides- and grooms-to-be should not underestimate the importance of handing out wedding favors, a tradition with a rich history. A wedding favor is considered a symbol of good will to guests, and there are many different wedding favors on the market. Finding the right one can take a little work. It is usually a good idea to find something that suits the theme of the wedding and is both long-lasting and
The Daily Republic
October 2015
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WEDDING AND GROUP RATES
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practical. Try to avoid anything that is too kitschy. A couple’s budget should be considered when choosing wedding favors. A couple may want to give their guests lavish gifts but should only do so if their budget allows. It may be challenging for couples to find favors that fit the theme of their wedding, as well as their own personalities and budgets. But it can be done. The following are some favor-finding guidelines.
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Fall Wedding Guide
FAVORS
Continued from Page 13
guests with a sun and surf survival bag, full of sunblock, a beach towel and sunglasses.
Complete the theme Some weddings follow a particular theme from start to finish, and wedding favors should stick with that theme. Couples who will showcase their love of travel on their wedding days may want to give guests keychains or purse holders that feature popular landmarks around the world. Those who are admitted beach bums may want to present a small fishbowl with sand and a goldfish inside, reminiscent of days at the seashore.
Go traditional Couples who opt for universally appealing favors
October 2015
can lean toward some popular options, such as silver cake servers, candlestick holders, decorative photo frames, or engraved keepsake boxes. Aim for favors that have utility. Otherwise, favors may end up collecting dust on someone’s shelf.
Food and beverage gifts are fun Food favors mean guests can enjoy their gifts and not have to worry about finding space inside their homes to display trinkets. Food favors can be lavishly decorated cookies, fine chocolates, petit fours, small bottles of champagne or cupcakes decorated like the wedding cake. Favors are often integral to wedding celebrations. Selecting a favor that will be appreciated and fit with the wedding is often a fun and stress-free part of planning a wedding.
Play that funky music, DJ By Metro Creative
Many elements combine to make traditional wedding receptions special. But many veteran wedding guests would agree that the right playlist once guests hit the reception hall dance floor can turn an ordinary wedding reception into something far more memorable. Entertainment is often one of the more memorable aspects of a wedding reception, as the right band or disc jockey can help to establish a jovial mood that makes it easy for everyone to have a good time. Couples can leave their wedding reception playlists to the professionals, but they should also know that they have a say in which songs are played. In addition, couples can have a “no play” playlist that prohibits certain songs they dislike from being played. When mulling the musical choices for your wedding reception, consider the following advice.
• Begin by making a list of your favorite songs. Make this list during different days and at different times and moods so you get a good cross-section of your favorite tunes. But remember not every song is a good fit for a wedding reception. Melancholy songs or those that include suggestive lyrics are best left off the playlist. • Aim to get as many guests on the dance floor as possible. Wellknown songs and upbeat dance music will inspire more guests to cut a rug than lesser known tunes you may be fond of. Music that spans the decades and various genres will appeal to guests from all age groups, encouraging dancers young and old to cut a rug. • Avoid songs that are difficult to dance to. Some songs just are not meant to be danced to. If your favorite songs fit that bill but you still want to hear them on your wedding, ask the DJ or band to play them during the cocktail hour or while everyone is eating dinner.
• Give the music vendor some leeway. Disc jockeys and bands have no doubt performed at many a wedding before yours, and they may have a better feel for crowds than you do. Let them know they have some leeway to play songs that did not make it onto the playlist if guests seem to be avoiding the dance floor. That professional expertise is why you hired them, and it can make for a more memorable night for everyone. • Don’t stress out about the music. The playlist can set the tone for a positive reception, but don’t stress out if you’re struggling to come up with songs you want to hear. Your vendor is no doubt capable of creating a playlist that will ensure everyone has fun. Hiring a band or disc jockey to perform at your wedding reception is a great way to make sure everyone enjoys a fun night. Adding your own favorite songs to the playlist can make the reception even more special.
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Fall Wedding Guide
October 2015
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After the search for good wedding-registry gifts, married couples reveal their favorites By LAUREN LOFTUS The Washington Post
Wedding registries are like letters to Santa, except they’re for adults. But instead of Saint Nick and his elves, your wedding guests do the giving. And instead of toys, you ask for grown-up things like serving dishes and monogrammed towels. Okay, maybe a few toys. Margarita machine, anyone? Building a well-rounded registry can be difficult. How many place settings is too many? Is the range of price points wide enough? Do you really need that mini doughnut maker? Sarah Bratholt, a Crate & Barrel spokeswoman who oversees gift-registry management, says many digitally savvy couples are taking
Washington Post photos
Megan and Luke Chesek show off Fiestaware dishes from Macy’s and a small cheese platter from Bed Bath & Beyond.
advantage of online registries, but she recommends that they also go to stores in person. “We have them do a mental walk-through of their house,” she says. Couples should ask themselves:
In the kitchen, what type of knives set do we want? Moving into the dining room, what type of dinnerware do we want? It’s important, Bratholt says, to start with the basics such as plates, glasses, forks
Raiquel and Dwayne Brown love the Kitchenaid blender they received off their wedding registry four years ago.
and knives. “I recommend going for a classic look that represents both of your styles. Then add in the fun pieces that can be more trendy.” And register for more than you think you’ll need, because your family might grow or you’ll want
to throw a party with all of your new stuff, “but you won’t have enough forks to get you through dessert,” she says. If space is tight, consider boxed sets. “Twelve plates, bowls, cups all in a box that you can store in a pantry
or closet,” Brathold says. When making a list, she suggests keeping an eye out for bonuses with certain brands. “They will give you extra gifts when you register for or receive certain items off your registry,” she says. “Who doesn’t want more gifts?” And it never hurts to get advice from those who walked the aisle before you. With wedding season in full swing, we asked four couples in various stages of matrimony about how they crafted their registries (or wish they had). Among our findings: Kitchenware reigned supreme among newlyweds and longtimers alike; not all gadgets are made alike; and big-ticket, well-made items shouldn’t See REGISTRY, Page 16
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Fall Wedding Guide
REGISTRY
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be shied away from.
Megan and Luke Chesek Mount Rainier, Md., married two years “I had every girl’s dream of: When you get married, you go to the store, take the [scan] gun and register for whatever you want,” Megan Chesek, 30, says. But her husband, Luke, 31, had a different idea. “Our friends have this place full of gadgets they never use ... all this stuff you see on Saturday morning infomercials,” he says. Wanting to limit the junk, he aimed for a small registry so more people would opt to give them cash to put toward buying a home. Two years later, the Cheseks now own an uncluttered home in Mount Rainier filled only with those things they were sure they’d use all the time. Such as dishes. Plates were one of the few things Megan, a physical therapist at Virginia Hospital Center, and Luke, a labor lawyer for D.C. public schools, didn’t
October 2015
argue over. “I don’t think my mom would let me get married without getting china,” Luke jokes. Both from large families, the Cheseks say they often have to use both their nice china and informal dishes when they host holidays. They selected the Gardner Green Street collection from Kate Spade New York. “Luke liked it because it reminds him of nature,” Megan says of the white silver-rimmed dishes with accents of leaves. “It’s just really pretty and simple. But not too simple.” She says they chose brightly colored Fiestaware for their everyday dishes because “we liked the chunkiness and sturdiness. We’re both kind of clumsy.” The star of their registry items, at least for Luke, is a small cheese board with a removable marble top and hidden knife drawer from Bed Bath & Beyond. “Growing up, my parents always served cheese and crackers when family came over,” he says. It was a sign of hospitality and made the gathering feel like a special occassion. Now, he and his wife serve fancy cheese to their guests.
Raiquel and Dwayne Brown Woodbridge, Va., married four years “We didn’t have grown-up stuff,” says Raiquel Brown, 33, of when she got engaged to Dwayne, 34, a financial consultant and adjunct professor at Trinity Washington University. So Raiquel, a marketing consultant who also owns a paint studio/wine bar in Washington, says they went out on a limb and registered for high-end silverware from Williams-Sonoma. “Don’t be shy of the price,” she says, because people want to buy you a nice gift and be thought of when you use it. Also, she recommends “adding things you’ll definitely use, things with utility,” to your registry, like the KitchenAid five-speed blender she uses to make fruit smoothies most mornings. Dwayne, on the other hand, was a big fan of their Westin St. Maarten honeymoon-related registry. He points out that they actually used the Caribbean excursions their loved ones bought them, unlike the rice cooker and panini press Raiquel wanted to register for. Both are still in boxes in the pantry.
“When’s the last time you made a panini?” he asks. “Don’t hate on my panini-maker,” she answers.
Scarlett and Gabriel Pons Fredericksburg, Va., married 12 years Living in a tiny apartment in Brooklyn before their wedding, this cool artist couple didn’t want to set up a traditional registry at first. “But people really want to get you gifts,” says Gabe Pons, 40, who owns Ponshop Studio and Gallery in Fredericksburg with his wife, Scarlett, 42. “So we said, ‘Let’s ask for things that we’ll really appreciate and use but at the same time won’t take up too much space.’ ” Because Scarlett is a potter (she now makes custom dish sets for other couples’ weddings), the Ponses focused on registering for things other than china, such as a decent set of knives and a nice cutting board. Their favorite gift, though, wasn’t even on their registry. A small vintage-looking popcorn machine modeled on those found at county fairs was gifted to them by an old family friend. It was a big hit at their rooftop
parties in New York and still gets a lot of use by their two young sons. “It’s the really silly things that have lasted the longest,” Scarlett says, “that translate into the next phase of your marriage.”
Betsy and Mark Stires Alexandria, Va., married 29 years Betsy was just 22 when she married Mark Stires, then 23, at the Mayflower Hotel in Washington nearly 30 years ago. But even then, her mother and grandmother had instilled an admiration for fine china in the future interior designer. She registered for Herend china in a classic whiteand-green pattern that can be used as “building blocks” to build more elaborate tablescapes. The dishware has “definitely suited the different evolutions of my taste,” she says. But you don’t have to always go for the splurges, she says, if you’re worried about guests’ wallets. “There’s good style and design everywhere, at Target, at Walmart, at the grocery store,” Betsy says. “It’s not a question of price, it’s a question of taking care of things you enjoy.”
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Center of attention Creative enterpiece options abound for unique table decor on your wedding day By Metro Creative
See DECOR, Page 18
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Weddings may be characterized as a dozen little details coming together to form one big celebration. Key elements of the big day often must be planned well in advance, and timing is usually of the essence to ensure the day goes off without a hitch. Reception centerpieces are one of those seemingly minor, yet important details couples have to consider. The reception is a memorable night for the couple, and creating a magical experience involves setting the scene, which includes decorating guests’ tables with centerpieces that capture the theme of the wedding. Many different styles of centerpieces can be considered. Couples frequently opt for floral centerpieces because of the versatility of flowers and the myriad color combinations that are available. But couples should not limit themselves to a floral
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Fall Wedding Guide
October 2015
DECOR
Continued from Page 17
centerpiece. In fact, couples can explore a variety of centerpieces options before choosing the one for them. • Candles: Inexpensive and beautiful, candles impart a subtle glow to a space. Candles of varying heights will cast light on the table and make the reception room look and feel more intimate. Place candles on a mirror or silver cake serving platter so that the light of the flames will reflect and disperse even more. • Fruit: Pieces of fruit, such as lemons, limes, apples, and oranges, can be used as a cost-friendly centerpiece. Whether placed in a basket or clear vase, the colors of fresh fruit can be vibrant and eye-catching. Afterward, the fruit can be brought home and eaten to limit waste. • Beads and baubles: Filling a vase or low-profile glass bowl with beads, shells, rocks, or crystals is an easy way to dress up a table. Consider pairing these decorative beads with candles to have a visually appealing design. • Edible ideas: Centerpieces that
double as favors cut down on the expense and amount of work that goes into idea creation. A basket with tulle-wrapped Jordan almonds or decorative boxes of cookies stacked in the center of the table will look attractive and then can be taken home by guests. Even a tall vase filled with candy-covered chocolates can be attractive, and then guests can fill up their own little bags of sweet treats. • Themed objects: Birdhouses, watering cans, teapots, a small birdcage, or other items that fit with the theme of a wedding can work well as centerpieces. A carved pumpkin or gourd fits in with a fall-timed wedding, while a sand pail may complete the look of a summer-inspired wedding. • Balloons: Don’t underestimate the power of a billowing bouquet of balloons in the center of a table. Relatively low-priced when compared to flowers, balloons are easy to set up and will quickly fill a space. • Wildflowers: Rather than centerpieces full of exotic flowers, do-it-yourself couples can place whimsical bunches of wildflowers and fresh herbs into vases on each table.
From first date, to wedding date Get the ball rolling on the calendar By Metro Creative
Many couples find themselves bombarded with questions the moment they become engaged, and perhaps no questions is more common than, “When is the wedding?” Although a number of couples would prefer to bask in the excitement of their engagement, some couples feel pressured to rush into picking a wedding date. Choosing a wedding date without giving it much consideration may make things more difficult down the road. Rather than jumping head
first into any decisions, couples should give thought to any and all dates and decide if there are certain times of the year they want to tie the knot or avoid.
Season When thinking about potential wedding dates, it helps to have a place to start. Some couples find it helpful to start with a particular season and then narrow it down from there. Decide if you prefer the lush greenery of summer or the amazing color spectrum of an autumn afternoon. Perhaps
you envision arriving at the ceremony with a snow-packed landscape amid twinkling holiday lights? Think about the season when you feel most happy and then determine if that time of year is doable.
Month Certain months may seem perfect, but not for busy professionals or those with limited vacation time at their disposal. For example, early spring may not be good for accountants tallying year-end See DATE, Page 19
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numbers. Teachers may feel most comfortable tying the knot in the summer when they already have days off. If you run a pool business or a lawn maintenance company, then the summer might not be so good. Keep these factors in mind.
Holidays Some people would like to tie their wedding day to a particular holiday. Valentine’s Day is popular for weddings thanks to the romantic sentiments synonymous with the holiday, while some couples prefer Halloween or Christmas weddings. Holiday weddings can be exciting, but they also produce significant obstacles that couples who choose to get married during other times of year don’t have to worry about. Guests may not want to travel or spend time away
from their families to attend a holiday wedding. Having a wedding during a holiday may mean competing for vendors and reception spaces. Prices on everything from food to flowers to airline tickets could be higher as vendors cash in on customer demand.
Day of the week It’s less expensive for couples to get married on Fridays and Sundays than Saturday afternoons or evenings. Couples may think that the money saved will be well worth it, but they also should think about how this decision may affect their guests. A Friday wedding requires people to take off from work or school. Sunday weddings may be slightly more convenient, but those who have to get back to work on Monday may be tired from late-night festivities. Couples should anticipate some guests not making it to their weddings when those weddings are
October 2015
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not on Saturdays.
Religious constraints Couples having religious ceremonies should consult with their houses of worship as to which dates are acceptable. Some will not have weddings on days of religious observation. It is wise to consult with a church, synagogue or mosque before booking any other components of the wedding so that you are certain your chosen day is acceptable.
Any available dates Your wedding date may be dictated by your caterer or wedding hall. If you have a particular venue in mind, you may be limited by their availability. This is a concession you will need to make if your heart is set on this particular location. Planning a wedding can be exciting. But the ball cannot get rolling until couples first choose the day they will tie the knot.
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Fall Wedding Guide
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