Upstate Weddings - Feb. 2023

Weddings Upstate

MAgAZine

FEBRUARY

CHARLIE the MATCHMAKER

Here’s to love and happiness in 2023

5 fresh bridalwear trends for 2023

Tips for choosing a wedding artist

Weddings Upstate

Upstate Weddings Magazine

The Daily Star, 102 Chestnut St., Oneonta, NY 13820. © 2023 - All rights reserved.

Publisher and General Manager Valerie Secor Layout Tracy Bender

Interested in advertising in Upstate Weddings Magazine? Call toll-free, 1-800-721-1000, ext 235

Content provided in part by Metro Creative Services and Newspaper Toolbox. Opinions expressed in the publication are those of the authors and do not necessarily represent those of the publication management.

4 Tips for a winning marriage proposal

5 Building a wedding budget without breaking the bank

8 How to find the right wedding reception venue

10 picking the perfect wedding dress

11 5 fresh bridalwear trends for 2023

12 Delicious alternatives to traditional wedding cake

13 A guide to wedding day floral arrangements

14 Tips for choosing a wedding artist

16 popular wedding hairstyles

18 Responsibilities of the wedding party

COLUMNS

6 Charlie the Matchmaker Here’s to love and happiness in 2023

ON THE COVER:

Kameron Ostrander, right, is pictured with his groomsman, Austin down, on Ostrander’s wedding day October of 2022 in Franklin. The photographer was Amanda Lee Popp of Popp’s Topps & snapshots.

Congratulations to Kameron and Jackie!

marriage proposal Tips for a winning

Think about your personalities

if you or your partner are shy, a public proposal with lots of people watching might not be the best idea. instead, choose an intimate moment. For example, in the comfort of your home, while taking a walk or during a romantic picnic. if you don’t want it to be entirely private, consider including a few of your closest friends to make it meaningful.

Plan your proposal

ideally, choose a moment when you won’t be too pressed for time to avoid needless stress. While it may seem there’s never an ideal time to propose, it’s in your best interest not to rush it.

Pay attention to your presentation

even if an engagement ring isn’t essential to you, the moment of presentation is the heart and soul of the marriage proposal. Choose the ring carefully, subtly taking note of your partner’s tastes while passing a jewelry shop window, for example.

Consider the element of surprise

Has the subject of marriage come up in conversations with your sweetheart? does it feel like the right time to pop the big question? Here are four tips to help you make your proposal unique and unforgettable.

even if you and your partner frequently talk about marriage, the element of surprise is key to a memorable proposal. Make your plans discreetly, and be sure that the loved ones you enlist help keep the secret safe.

start exploring your area to find the perfect ring and plan the perfect place and time for your marriage proposal. ª

Building a wedding budget without breaking the bank

Wedding planning is a unique experience unlike any endeavor most couples will ever encounter. Much effort goes into planning a wedding, and that includes building a budget that ensures the big day will be fun without breaking the bank.

Most couples planning a wedding have never tied the knot before, so it can be difficult to determine a reasonable amount to spend. it’s easy to go overboard when planning a wedding, and couples may find their list of wants and, consequently, their expenses, growing as they get into the weeds of wedding planning. Though it might require some difficult decisions, couples can keep these tips in mind so they can build a wedding budget that won’t land them in debt after saying, “i do.”

• Determine funding. The days when a bride’s parents would finance the wedding entirely on their own are largely a thing of the past. According to a recent WeddingWire newlywed Report, parents now pay for 52 percent of wedding expenses. As couples begin establishing a wedding budget, it’s imperative that they first determine who, if anyone, will be helping them finance the big day. Fifty-two percent of wedding expenses is a significant amount of money, but in that scenario, couples will still need to come up with roughly half of the money needed to fund their weddings. Couples without substantial savings may be forced to cut back in order to avoid beginning their life as a married couple in debt.

• Make a list of potential expenses. Location will be a significant factor when determining potential expenses. For example, a 2022 ValuePenguin analysis of data from The Wedding Report found that the average wedding in Massachusetts cost roughly $30,500 in 2020, while couples

tying the knot in Arkansas spent around $12,500 on their weddings. With such wild fluctuations, it’s important that couples get an accurate estimate of how much it may cost them to get married in a given city. Couples who met in a city and still live in a city but grew up in a suburb might save a considerable sum by getting married in their hometowns. Compare and contrast prices in locales you’re considering, and then build your budget accordingly. This can help you avoid sticker shock and going over budget. notable expenses to budget include the venue, attire (i.e., wedding dress and tuxedo rental), hairstyle and makeup, entertainment, photography, and transportation, among others.

• Make a list of what’s most important. Most couples will have to compromise in order to avoid taking on debt to finance their weddings. An earnest discussion about what’s most important to each person can ensure you both get what you want. each person can make a list of their priorities, ranking them from most important to least important. Once lists are shared, couples can see where their priorities converge and where they diverge. Any items that rank low on each person’s list of priorities can be afforded less funding, while those that are high on each list can take up more of the budget, if necessary.

• Commit to a limit before spending a dime. Committing to a limit before spending a dime can help couples keep wedding costs more manageable. Once that number is defined, couples can then work within its parameters, which can make potentially difficult decisions a little easier by narrowing options at a time when options can seem endless.

A well-planned budget can be just what couples need to begin married life on strong financial footing. ª

LOVE and HAPPINESS in 2023 Here’s to

By CHARLIE the MATCHMAKER

Idon’t know about you, but after the last few years, i am looking forward to some love and good vibes this year. And this is why i am doing nothing but putting positive energy out into the universe. Whether its holding a door for someone, saying hello to a stranger, listening to my partner more, i am going to put the sadness that we all experienced behind me and step forward with a smile and a happy heart.

For years i worked as a professional matchmaker and the three top rules i had with all of my clients was Communication, Communication, Communication. i had to explain to many people that you have to be honest and communicate with your loved ones. even if it’s a little pet peeve, you must talk it out early. The longer you let little things pile up, the harder it will be to overcome.

me poorly, i am going to call them on it and ask “Why would you say that? i would never say something like that to you.”

i truly believe that when we make these positive changes in ourselves, the people we encounter every day will see it and they in turn will feel more positive about themselves.

Charlie Maffei was once known as CharlieTheMatchmaker. After years of working as a professional matchmaker in NYC, he retired and moved home to his hometown of Oneonta. These days you can find him spending quality time with his friends and family and of course his husband Gary and their two dogs and five cats (all adopted from shelters). And you better believe if you say “Hi” he will give you a big smile and a warm greeting.

You can find Charlie’s book “Love Made Easy With CharlieTheMatchmaker” for sale on Amazon.

All relationships are built on trust and communication. But as time goes by i see more and more people struggling with the most important relationship in their lives. The relationship with themselves. And i am right there with you. We all have to find some eternal love and respect for ourselves to make this positive step forward.

The next time i get a compliment, i am going to accept it and say “Thank You” instead of asking “Really? i don’t look fat in this outfit?” Or when someone treats

so let’s do this. Let’s get out of our comfort zone and make some positive changes that will not only benefit ourselves but also the people around us. i myself have decided to not say “no.” if a friend invites me out for dinner or to a wedding or just over to hang out, i am going to say “Yes.” i am going to put myself out there and interact with the world with a positive outlook. i am going to communicate openly with my friends and family. i am going to tell my loved ones i love them every day so that they feel my love and friendship. i am going to value those around me so that i can see the value in myself. i am going to work hard to experience all the love and happiness i can in 2023. ª

How to find the

wedding reception venue

Every decision engaged couples make in regard to their weddings is significant, but some may affect the day more than others. Perhaps no decision will help couples set the tone they hope to establish more than their choice of reception venue.

Reception venues are where couples and their guests will spend the vast majority of their time on the wedding day, which is why choice of venue bears such significance. With that in mind, couples can consider these tips as they look for the perfect place to host their receptions.

• Decide what you want out of a venue. Prospective brides and grooms may have vastly different ideas regarding how they want their weddings to go, and it’s imperative that couples discuss their ideal weddings prior to looking for a venue. do you want to get married in a place of worship? Or do you prefer a venue that can host both the ceremony and reception? do you want an indoor, outdoor or hybrid ceremony and reception? define what you both want before looking for a venue and make the necessary concessions if you have different ideas in mind.

• Consider picking a venue before setting a date. it can be wise to pick a reception venue first and then choose your wedding date based on the availability of the venue. This is especially important for couples who already have an ideal venue in mind, and it also provides some flexibility as couples search for the venue. For example, couples working within a strict budget may not be able to afford a preferred venue during the height of wedding season, but that venue could be less costly during slower times of year. By waiting to pick a date until you’ve chosen a venue, you’re increasing your options.

• Consider your guests. Though couples, particularly those footing the bill on their own, should prioritize their desires when choosing a reception, it’s important they also consider their guests before making a final decision. A venue that’s accessible and located near transit hubs like airports and train stations will increase the likelihood that more people can attend. in addition, if children will be invited, a venue that includes family restrooms, including at least one with a changing table, can make parents’ nights much easier.

• Consider your budget. The Knot 2021 Real Weddings study found that couples typically spend around 30 percent of their overall budget on the venue, which makes this decision the biggest one in terms of the financial commitments a couple will have to make. Couples may be tempted to choose an awe-inspiring, costly venue for their reception, but they should consider how devoting so much of their budget to the venue will affect the rest of their big day. The best reception venue might be one that won’t eat up too much of your budget.

• Consider the package. Venues vary in terms of their reception packages. some may offer catering, including beverages, with each of their packages, while food and beverage might not be part of other venues’ offerings. if you find a venue you love but it doesn’t offer catering services, seek estimates from area caterers to determine how much it will cost to feed and serve your guests. Many couples find it more convenient and less stressful to pick a venue that offers on-site catering, though plenty of others have had no trouble after choosing a venue and separate caterer.

The bulk of a couple’s wedding day and night will be spent at the reception, making choice of venue one of the more fun and important decisions they’ll have to make. ª

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Picking the perfect wedding dress

lanning a wedding requires making many different decisions. The choice of wedding attire is among the most crucial decisions that couples must make. Whether the wedding is traditional or customized to suit couples’ personalities, brides and grooms want to look their best when they say, “I do.”

Many brides-to-be spend a significant amount of time looking for their ideal wedding dresses. What defines the right gown depends on personal preference and is unique to the person doing the search. For example, a dress that sets a fairy tale scene for one bride may not necessarily align with the tastes of another. According to Bridal Atelier, the average bride-to-be tries on try three to seven dresses before finding the right one. The following tips can help those shopping for dresses find a look that makes their big day even more special.

Don’t get hung up on perfection

Many brides get caught up as they search for the one dress they consider perfect. No dress is likely to check every box. Getting hung up on a desire to find a dress that has it all may make it hard to see the beauty in other dresses. Remember, with the talents of an experienced tailor or seamstress, most dresses can be tweaked to suit your vision of the ideal gown.

5 fresh

bridalwear trends for 2023

What you wear as you walk down the aisle is one of the most significant decisions for your wedding day. Do you envision yourself in a classic bridal gown, or do traditional styles feel confining to you? To help you express your unique personality on your big day, 2023 has plenty of fresh design trends to inspire you.

Something blue

An alternative to classic white, blue is the darling of bridal dress designers for 2023. Look for gowns in shades like periwinkle, ice blue and cornflower.

The average bride-to-be tries on 3 to 7 dresses before finding the right one.

Consider the season

Getting married during the hazy and humid days of summer is an entirely different experience than tying the knot during the heart of winter. The fabric of the wedding dress should complement the season, whether it’s lightweight and breezy for a warm day, or more substantial and cozy when darting to the ceremony in snowfall.

Flatter your figure

Chances are brides-to-be know which cuts and styles are most flattering. Mimic those style choices in the wedding dress. If you want to take focus off of full hips, choose a basque or asymmetrical waistline. Gowns with substantial straps or higher necklines may be better if you have a larger chest. Sheath and mermaid style gowns are options if you are confident with your figure and want to show off your curves.

IMAGE BY MARYMARKEVICH | FREEPIK

Try a bit of this and that Don’t go into a wedding dress appointment with firm parameters. Although you may have a ball gown style in mind, after trying on other options something with a less voluminous silhouette may actually catch your eye. Many brides also automatically defer to strapless gowns, when various straps and sleeves can be very appealing.

Arrive with a firm budget

Weddings can be costly. It’s important to set a budget for the wedding dress just as you will with other expenses. There are plenty of dress designers across a wide spectrum of price points. A willingness to consider and ultimately purchase a less costly dress can help you stay on budget.

Browsing through magazines and looking online can provide wedding dress inspiration as well. Also, when in doubt, defer to the experts at bridal shops who have experience choosing dresses that brides are inclined to love. ª

2. 4.

The little white dress

If you have a playful spirit, a daring cocktail dress provides ease of movement so you can kick up your heels. Bridal designers offer an array of white party minidresses embellished with ornate details befitting the classic bridal gown.

Bridal pantsuits

Do you want a look that’s less fairy princess but doesn’t compromise on the drama? Bridal fashion is making huge strides with striking white heirloom separates. These immaculately tailored suit pieces will easily integrate with your post-wedding wardrobe.You may consider adding romantic flourishes like lace, bows or a tulle train.

High slits

Picture the classic bridal gown with a flash of femme fatale. An elongating glimpse of the leg can balance the fullness of your dress’s silhouette. Wear a delicate strappy sandal to extend your leg line.

5.

Bridal dress rental is becoming an option for brides who prefer to spend their wedding budget on other aspects of the big day.

Ask your local bridal boutique if they offer a rental service.

1. 3. 10 UPSTATE WEDDINGS MAGAZINE FEBRUARY 2023

Conscientious choices

If you want to express your values in your gown choice, look for a brand that uses sustainable fabrics or repurposed antique lace. Some designers also contribute portions of their earnings to support environmental and social justice efforts.

IMAGE BY BRISTEKJEGOR FREEPIK

Delicious alternatives to traditional wedding cake

if fruitcake isn’t your idea of the perfect wedding cake, have you considered serving something more reflective of your tastes? From flourless confections to savory takes on the traditional, there are plenty of ways to create a wedding cake to remember.

Savory cakes

imagine cheese wheels set on pillars in the style of a traditional wedding cake garnished with grapes, figs and nuts. Another savory option is a tiered meat pie.

Individual treats

Rather than one large cake, why not have a showpiece of bite-sized confections? Macarons make elegant and delicious treats. Pull out all the stops with decadent single-serving wedding cakes, individually decorated with marzipan and fondant.

Gluten-free cake

A scandinavian favorite, the kransekake — norwegian for “wreath cake” — is made with almonds, confectioners’ sugar and egg whites. it’s baked in molds and then stacked to create a tower of many thin layers.

Designer biscuits

A designer biscuit shop can bake and decorate bespoke cookies with messages or images tailor-made for the bride and groom. imagine edible surfboards commemorating your first date or little bride- and groom-shaped treats. Make it extra special with personalized place marker biscuits. Your local bakeshops may offer sampling sessions. Contact them early to ensure they’re available for your big day. ª

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Various elements come together to complete a wedding day visual. Floral arrangements are one such component that can create a special and awe-inspiring ambiance.

Flowers appeal to at least three of the senses. Their delicate aroma can help a venue smell fresh and inviting. And it’s hard to deny the visual appeal of a stunning floral arrangement. There are colors, sizes, textures, and much more that can cater to any theme. in addition, flowers can add a tactile element, even if guests do not going around touching the blooms.

Flowers convey so much during weddings that it’s important to make finding a florist a priority, according to the wedding resource The Knot. The following is a guide to understanding floral arrangements that may be included in a wedding.

Bouquets, corsages and boutonnieres

The wedding party, bride, groom, and parents of the couple are set apart from others at the wedding ceremony by the special flowers on their attire and in their hands, among other indicators. Boutonnieres are a single bud pinned to the left side of a gentleman’s jacket. Corsages can be attached to a dress, but are now often worn on the wrist. Bouquets are held in hand. They can be a few flowers gathered together, or more extensive displays. Bouquets may

A guide to

wedding day

floral arrangements

Reception components

Flowers may truly shine during the reception. They’re one of the most important components when decorating the space. Flowers serve as centerpieces, so the guest list and the number of tables will dictate how many centerpieces are required. These centerpieces can be elaborate or simply a few loose flowers in vases. Florists can customize the look depending on couples’ budgets. some additional reception flowers can include installations on arches or on anything hanging like a floral backdrop for photo opportunities.

Tips and tricks

feature bare stems, or stems may be bound and hidden beneath ribbon and fabric.

some couples also have a small tossing bouquet to use later in the day. Flower petals for a flower girl to drop down the aisle also may be part of the floral plan.

Ceremony flowers

guests often are first introduced to floral arrangements at the wedding ceremony. Potted or vase-encased flowers may bookend the couple at the altar. seats or pews may be adorned with flower sprays to draw attention to the aisle, known as aisle markers. These are subtle choices that enhance the ceremony space.

Couples should create a list of everywhere they would like to use flowers and present it, along with magazine clippings or planning boards, to show florists what they have in mind when shopping services, according to Hummingbird Wedding Advice. A 2021 survey from The Knot reported that the average cost for wedding flowers was $2,300. it’s important to set a strict budget so florists can present ideas that are in line with what couples can spend. Many expensive looks can be replicated with in-season flowers or less costly alternatives.

Flowers are an important part of the wedding day and should be incorporated into couples’ budgets. ª

Tips for choosing a wedding makeup artist

Awedding gives couples a chance to shine and celebrate their love for one another. naturally, all eyes are on the happy couple on their wedding day, and that means brides and grooms want to look their best. For those planning to wear makeup, relying on a skilled makeup artist can make a big difference in how couples look in videos and photographs.

Professional makeup artists will be acquainted with techniques that can enhance individuals’ looks on their wedding day. Makeup artists recognize which products to use to ensure a flawless face lasts all day. This person also can take the pressure off the bride having to do makeup herself, meaning the bride can sit back and relax for a half hour or more and enjoy being pampered. Techniques like lash applications, contouring and highlighting require skill, and skilled makeup professionals are well-trained in these areas. When shopping around for makeup artists, couples with limited knowledge of what to expect can look for certain factors to help them make the most informed decision.

Professional products

There may be a stark difference between cosmetics and beauty products purchased at the drug store and the professional-grade items used by makeup artists. Professional products have been engineered for specific applications. They tend to be long-wearing and luxurious. Look for a makeup artist who uses topnotch brands.

Trial application

A bride’s vision and the makeup artist’s vision may not be one and the same. Only after a trial application can you determine if the makeup artist is able to deliver the look you desire. it’s important for a bride-to-be to go to the trial appointment with an open mind and reserve judgment until the application is complete. A professional can make suggestions on a color palette and products that will complement skin tone and needs.

Masters ‘striking’ but ‘natural’

Many brides desire natural looks on their wedding days, but fail to understand that this is one of the most photographed moments in their lives. High-definition cameras and lighting can affect how makeup appears in film and in photographs, as well as what a complexion and pores will look like. Taking photos during the trial appointment will help you see what you will look like in pictures, which may be different from how makeup appears when looking in the mirror. Chances are a bride will need to be much more made up than she thinks when asking for natural. A qualified artist can strike a balance between natural and photo-ready.

Touch-ups

some makeup artists are willing to be available for a short time before the start of the reception. This gives them the opportunity to touch-up makeup if needed after the ceremony when most of the posed photos are taken. Also, adjustments can be made at this time if a bride wants a “nighttime” look.

A makeup artist can help couples look their best during their weddings, making them a worthy investment of time and money. ª

A Rose is a Rose

Distinctive Flowers & Gifts

Popular

wedding hairstyles

Much goes into being photo-ready on your wedding day. After months of planning, the wedding day is the couple’s time to really shine, and many go to extraordinary lengths to look their best. gowns and tuxes may garner their fair share of attention, but hairstyles also can help couples look their best.

Couples can wear their hair how they see fit, but certain hairstyles have exhibited some serious staying power and can look timeless in photos and videos for years to come.

• Classic low bun or chignon: This is one hairstyle that certainly has withstood the test of time. A bun can be as sleek as a bride desires, or tendrils can be pulled out to frame the face, and the bun can be anything from minimal to messy. Pulling hair back may be more comfortable on warm days and there’s no frizz to worry about if Mother nature fails to cooperate.

• Vintage curls: Brides whose dresses harken back to a bygone era may want to complement that style with a hairdo that also speaks to that moment in time. For example, the intricate pin curls of the 1920s likely will tie into a gown with an umpire waist.

• Fancy ponytail: Like a bun, a ponytail can pull hair away from the face for comfort and style. it’s a bit less formal than a bun and can be styled in many different fashions, even incorporating braids.

• Side-swept waves: evoke moviestar drama with a hairstyle that features hair pulled to one side and cascading waves down the length of the face.

• Loose waterfall braids: Carefree boho looks run the gamut of styles. One to consider is loosely plaited waterfall braids that add whimsy. Additional braided options also work well for less formal weddings.

• Half-up, half-down: This hairstyle offers the best of both worlds. it enables the hair to be pulled back on top, and then the bottom is left loose, whether straight or in curls or waves.

• Ballerina top knot: This is a take on the bun. But rather than pinned at the nape, it is high on the crown of the head.

• Short bob or pixie with accents: shorter hair also can look stunning. A bob or pixie cut can be enhanced with sparkling barrettes or woven-in flowers.

• Halo braid: This braid is fashioned so that it goes over the top of the head and mimics the look of a crown or halo. it may negate the need for a tiara.

Men also have plenty of options to get their hair wedding day-ready. Classic shorter cuts feature close-cut sides and more length on top, which can be spiked, tousled or even slicked back depending on personal preference. However, any length hair is in fashion, and grooms can don buns, ponytails, natural texture, and much more.

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Responsibilities of the wedding party

Participating in a wedding party is an honor. Couples invite many people to their weddings, and the select few asked to be in the party are typically those individuals with whom the couples shares a strong and special bond.

The role of the wedding party is not merely symbolic. Though it’s up to the happy couple to determine how involved they want their wedding party to be, individuals asked to be in the party should know that their acceptance of these roles carries with it a certain level of responsibility.

Maid of Honor

The maid of honor may bear the most responsibility of any wedding party member. Maids of honor typically help with the planning of the wedding, offering advice and opinions on everything from the bride’s gown to the bridesmaid dresses and anything else a couple might need help with. if the bride asks, the maid of honor may be asked to organize dress fittings and attend them as well. A maid of honor typically plays an active, and often the lead, role in planning the bachelorette party. Come the day of the wedding, the maid of honor helps the bride prepare and may organize the bridesmaids to ensure everyone stays on schedule. A maid of honor typically toasts the happy couple during the reception as well.

Best Man

Like the maid of honor, the best man has some extra responsibilities before the wedding and during the festivities. A

best man may organize tux fittings, plan the bachelor party, help make arrangements if the groom requests help, and be asked to hold the rings on the day of the ceremony. A best man toast is common during the reception, and some grooms ask their best men to distribute tips to vendors at the end of the night.

Bridesmaids

Bridesmaids often help the maid of honor plan the bachelorette party, and they also help to organize the bridal shower if the bride chooses to have one. Bridesmaids can offer input on wedding planning, particularly if they’re already married, though that is not necessarily required. Bridesmaids also can help relieve stress on the bride by being as agreeable as possible when scheduling dress fittings.

Groomsmen

groomsmen help to plan the bachelor party and may be asked to provide some support prior to the ceremony. For example, on the day of the wedding, groomsmen may be asked to show guests, particularly elderly friends and family

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of the couple, to their seats. Like their bridesmaid counterparts, groomsmen can be especially helpful by doing what’s asked of them without resistance. Arriving on time to tuxedo fittings and offering insight when they think it might help are some simple ways groomsmen can pitch in.

Flower Girl/Ring Bearer

Often reserved for children, the roles of flower girls and ring bearers only require some simple participation during the ceremony. Flower girls drop petals as they precede down the aisle ahead of the wedding party, while the ringer bearer carries the ring down the aisle. if these roles will be filled by especially young children, couples may choose to have them walk down the aisle together.

Parents of the couple

Parents of the bride and groom typically play supportive roles but may be asked to give speeches during the rehearsal dinner or the reception. The father of the bride typically walks her down the aisle, while the mother will likely spend the day of the ceremony at the bride’s side as they get ready. Parents of the groom do not have any traditional responsibilities, though the groom and his mother customarily share a mother/son dance during the reception.

Couples need not feel compelled to assign bridal party members these duties if they don’t feel comfortable doing so. However, sharing some of the responsibilities of wedding planning can help couples enjoy the process more and keep party members engaged. ª

Diana Friedell

Mr & Mrs. JC & Sarah Gutliph

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