Upstate Bride 2017 by The Daily Star

BRIDE

2017

Upstate

MAGAZINE

Secrets to great wedding day hair, makeup

On trend: Mix up bridal party dress styles

ABOLD

CHOICE

Color and drama highlight this yearâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s bridal trends

& More!

BRIDE

2017

Upstate

MAGAZINE

Layout Tracy Bender

Upstate Bride Magazine content is provided by Gatehouse Media LLC, and distributed by King Features. Reproduction in whole or in part without prior written permission is strictly prohibited. Opinions expressed in the publication are those of the authors and do not necessarily represent those of the management of the publication.

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Real US weddings by the numbers By Melissa Erickson More Content Now

he cost of a wedding is skyrocketing, with the average increasing by more than $5,500 in the past five years and couples spending $32,641 in 2015, according to The Knot 2015 Real Weddings Study. The ninth annual comprehensive report, the largest of its kind, surveyed nearly 18,000 U.S. brides and grooms married in 2015 to uncover the financial spending habits and trends of real weddings in America. This study includes national and local statistics, including the average cost of a wedding, who pays, how couples budget and plan for their big day, the average number of wedding guests and other key factors. The study examined specifically what is driving up the cost of weddings. The largest cost increases were for the reception venue ($1,950 increase), ceremony site ($652 increase) and reception band ($545 increase). 2 | UPSTATE BRIDE MAGAZINE | 2017

Top 2015 wedding statistics • Average wedding cost (excludes honeymoon): $32,641 (up from $31,213 in 2014) • Most expensive place to get married: Manhattan, $82,299 average spend • Least expensive place to get married: Alaska, $17,361 average spend • Average spent on wedding dress: $1,469 • Average marrying age: Bride, 29; Groom, 31 • Average number of guests: 139 • Average number of bridesmaids: 5 • Average number of groomsmen: 5 • Most popular month to get engaged: December (16 percent) • Average length of engagement: 14.5 months • Most popular months to get married: October (17 percent) and September (15 percent) • Popular wedding colors: Ivory/white (47 percent), blue (39 percent), metallics (34 percent), pink (30 percent), purple (21 percent) – the popularity of metallic gold has more than tripled, from 7 percent in 2012 to 22 percent in 2015 • Percentage of destination weddings: 21 percent (down from 24 percent in 2014) FREEPIK.COM

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DAD’S big day

What’s expected of the father of the bride?

By Melissa Erickson More Content Now

wedding runs smoothly when everyone knows what their responsibilities are, but just what is the father of the

bride’s job? “A dad doesn’t have to be more than a walking ATM, but he can be more involved ... It is good for dads to recognize that the wedding and reception are more about the bride and her mother and their wishes and dreams, but he can still be involved in many ways,” said Wayne Parker, About.com’s fatherhood expert and a father of five. There’s no right or wrong way to approach father-of-the-bride duties, said Kasey Skobel-Conyers, owner and principal designer, Bliss Wedding & Events, Columbus, Ohio. “The best thing to do is ask him if he wants to be involved and in what things he’d like to participate. It’s also good to find out what dad’s priorities for the wedding are — specific menu items, a particular beer/wine/cocktail to offer on the bar or a favorite band/sound for the reception,” said Skobel-Conyers. Fathers usually want to meet with a wedding planner to discuss budgeting and expectations and may attend the menu tasting and entertainment meetings if these are priorities on dad’s list, she said. “One of the biggest regrets I hear from fathers of the bride is that they went deeper into their savings or into debt for the wedding than anyone planned,” Parker said. “Besides a budget, it is good for the bride and her parents to have a work plan that assigns the key roles to a person. Maybe dad gets assigned the wedding announcement guest list and the catering contract as primary roles while mom and bride take things like colors, dress and flowers. Whatever the division of labor, having dad be involved will help him feel more a part of the whole thing.” 4 | UPSTATE BRIDE MAGAZINE | 2017

Some work, some play

First dance

On the wedding day, dads can help in many ways. “Welcoming guests to a wedding luncheon or dinner is a good role. Supervising decorating crews, making sure family members are there on time and keeping contractors like caterers to their contractual obligations are all common things fathers of the bride do on the wedding day,” Parker said. While dad is a solid presence on the big day, he shouldn’t be running errands or doing the heavy lifting but enjoying the day with his family, said Skobel-Conyers, who suggested “he might want to be sure he has a moment with his daughter before they head out to the ceremony.” “Remember that this can be an exciting and equally as emotion-filled day for the father of the bride as the mother of the bride and bride, so if dad needs a minute to collect himself or needs a minute to speak a last few words of wisdom to the bride, please allow him to do so,” Parker said. Giving a toast is a main duty for the father of the bride. “The best toasts are not too long (five minutes or less is best), heartfelt, a little sentimental and a little funny,” SkobelConyers said. “Stay away from any inappropriate humor that might be embarrassing for the bride and groom,” Parker said. “Take some time to think and prepare the toast in advance and then, if you can, memorize it so that it flows well. It will be a part of the event that everyone will remember, whether it is done well or poorly.”

For a simple slow first dance, “a rehearsal is probably not necessary, unless dancing is awkward for them,” SkobelConyers said. Not great dancers? “Choose some music that can use simple steps like a waltz or a foxtrot. If they are good dancers, feel free to go for it! Lots of dads and brides today are doing choreographed dances so if you know someone who could help with that, it makes a big hit at the wedding or reception,” Parker said. Here are Parker’s top 10 father-daughter wedding dance songs: • “Butterfly Kisses,” Bob Carlisle • “When Angels Fly,” performed by Tony Ransom & The Heavenly Light Orchestra • “I Loved Her First,” Heartland • “Through the Years,” Kenny Rogers • “Always Be Your Baby,” Natalie Grant • “How Sweet It Is (to Be Loved by You),” James Taylor • “The Way You Look Tonight,” Frank Sinatra • “Unforgettable,” performed by Natalie Cole • “Lullabye (Goodnight, My Angel),” Billy Joel • “My Father’s Eyes,” performed by Eric Clapton.

“The best thing to do is ask him if he wants to be involved and in what things he’d like to participate.” Kasey SkobelConyers

Great WEDDING GIFT IDEAS

any people rely on bridal registries when buying wedding gifts for their loved ones. But for those who put off buying wedding gifts until registries have been picked clean, finding the right gift can sometimes be difficult. Even if men and women do not intend to buy wedding gifts directly off a couple’s registry, it’s best to first visit that registry to ensure that the gift that is ultimately purchased is not a duplicate gift. Shoppers who do know what to get the happy couple can consider the following gift ideas.

Luggage

Many couples put luggage on their wedding

registries, so shoppers should double check before purchasing any luggage for the happy couple. Couples about to go on their honeymoons may love a new set of sturdy luggage for their travels, while others with a love of travel may appreciate being able to replace luggage that’s bore the brunt of their globetrotting in recent years.

Airline miles

Though it might be unconventional, gifting

airline miles to the happy couple may save them hundreds of dollars. Men and women with ample airline miles should determine if their agreement allows them to transfer those miles

to a loved one. If so, transferring the miles won’t cost the person doing the gifting any money out of pocket, but it can save couples substantial amounts of money on their next trip, including their honeymoon if they have yet to book one.

Experience

Many people have embraced gifting an experience instead of an item to their loved ones. Some companies even facilitate such gifts to newlyweds. Websites like Traveler’s Joy allow couples to establish honeymoon registries, building them with activities and experiences they hope to enjoy on their trips. Loved ones can then gift money toward those activities, providing a win-win situation for people who would prefer to gift an experience and ensuring couples’ honeymoons will be that much more memorable.

Cash

Cash may seem impersonal, but couples tying the knot will no doubt appreciate an infusion of cash after saying “I do.” According to The Knot, the average wedding cost more than $35,000 in 2016. Even couples whose parents foot the bill for their weddings will appreciate having some extra money on hand that they can use on their honeymoons or put toward a home. — mcg.metrocreativeconnection.com

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WEDDING-DAY

BEAUTY Secrets to long-lasting hair, makeup

Stay fresh By Melissa Erickson

N More Content Now

o matter whether you’re doing your makeup yourself or hiring a glam squad, you’ll need some tips and tricks to keep your hair and face looking and feeling beautiful throughout your wedding day. Here is some expert advice:

Prep and prime “In order to keep makeup looking great from day into the night on the wedding day, I recommend using the proper primers underneath your foundation and setting sprays. We work with Airbrush Foundation and I love to use the Smashbox Photo Finish primer underneath, and the Urban Decay All Nighter setting spray to finish.”

– Amanda Perry, chief executive officer and master stylist with Lou Stevens Glam Squad, @loustevensglamsquad

“My secret to long-wearing bridal makeup is to avoid eye creams, primers and heavy moisturizers that will break down makeup and cause it to fade. Choose a foundation with the words ‘long wear’ on the package. For eyes, waterproof mascara and eyeliner is a must to avoid the ‘bride of Frankenstein’ look that comes with too many tears. Finally, I mist my brides with Urban Decay’s All Nighter setting spray to further ensure the makeup will remain matte and fresh for the duration of the wedding.”

– David Maderich, celebrity makeup artist, @davidmaderich

Stay firm “First thing, you need a clean face that has been gently exfoliated with microdermabrasion – that helps to remove that top dead layer of skin, cleans out the pores and stimulates circulation in the face, which gives a nice, healthy glow. ... Stay hydrated and get a good night’s sleep the night before. Try not to get stressed out with all the wedding planning, which could cause an awful breakout. In the event that happens, a little shot of cortisone right into the blemish will bring any inflammation down within 24 hours. I can’t tell you how many emergency cortisone injections I’ve done over the years for brides!”

– Registered nurse Nichole Starr, owner, Skin Deep Med Spa, Boston, Massachusetts

6 | UPSTATE BRIDE MAGAZINE | 2017

Long-lasting hair A bride’s hair has to contend with a variety of issues, including long days that stretch into evening, weather challenges and veil issues. Celebrity hairstylist and men’s groomer Kristan Serafino (@ serafinosays) offers the following pro styling tips for long-lasting bridal hair: • Dry shampoo is the mandatory touch-up hair saver. This virtually translucent spray absorbs moisture, conceals greasy roots and is delicately scented. For bridal hair worn down: Lightly spray the roots at the crown and down the part line to absorb moisture and bring volume back to the hair. Simply spray, flip, tousle and return to the dance floor with fresh hair. For bridal hair pinned up: Lightly spray only along the nape and not into the updo hairstyle. The dry shampoo will adhere to the wispy hair along the nape to absorb oils and moisture without a powdery residue. • Whether your updo is a chignon, French twist, beehive or even a bun, to lock in the volume it is necessary to tease the hair correctly. Each

section of hair should be brushed, or combed, all the way to the scalp. Any unteased hair between the scalp and the end of the tease will fall flat. • Before you shimmy on the dance floor, you must suitably shimmy your veil out of your hair. Foremost, don’t just pull the veil straight out from the hairstyle as this will certainly disturb the style and cause fly-away hair at the least. Gently and gradually shimmy the veil/hair clip from side to side until it naturally slides out. Immediately follow this procedure with a light spritz of hairspray to lay the hair back down to its original style. • Grooms: No matter how great a cut, hair needs to be styled for memorable occasions. That requires a styling product that restores the hair’s natural moisture balance without leaving it looking greasy. The purpose of using a styling product isn’t only to hold a cut/style in place, but to leave the hair with a touch of shine that reflects the angles of light. The camera will pick up the variations of light reflection, making the hair seem lustrous and healthy in the memorable pictures in the wedding album.

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MIXITUP

How to create a cohesive bridal party look By Melissa Erickson More Content Now

trend that is fun, frugal and fashionable, mismatched bridesmaids dresses can highlight each woman’s shape and sense of style. While some bridal parties opt for choosing one dress style, mismatched looks play with different fabrics, styles and colors, letting the ladies embrace a theme for a cohesive look. “The mix-and-match trend started to emerge years ago, but it is only now becoming universal within bridal parties,” said Lori Lohsen, divisional merchandise manager, bridesmaids, David’s Bridal. “Brides are getting creative and taking risks to capture a unique look for their special day. The trend is also great for bridesmaids because they have more of a say when choosing their dress and can usually opt for one that is comfortable for them.” With so many variables and options, though, there are plenty of ways this look can go

PHOTOS: DAVID’S BRIDAL

8 | UPSTATE BRIDE MAGAZINE | 2017

wrong and end up appearing disjointed. To head fashionably forward, here are some tips from Lohsen.

Seek commonality Just like mixing patterns, a similar design component can bring the dresses together. “Brides can mix and match endlessly as long as there is a common piece that ties the party together. Flowers can work wonders when tying an eclectic bridal party together. It also helps if the styles all have the same aesthetic – for example, all soft and flowy dresses or all sleek and modern styles,” Lohsen said.

Long and short Mixed hem lengths can work. “Dresses in the same length make for a cohesive look, but mixing lengths can let the bridal party feel more comfortable and still look great if the styles fit into the same theme,” Lohsen said.

Color with care Color can add cohesion or disconnect. Choose carefully, especially because not everyone sees color the same way. “The bride can start by picking a color and adding varying shades of the color,” Lohsen said. For example, choose light purple, medium purple and dark purple. Another option is to pick “a color story with various colors in the same saturation,” such as pastels, jewel tones or dusty hues, Lohsen said. “The mix-and-match trend allows for the best of both worlds for the bride and her bridesmaids. The bride should stay true to her wedding vision, but allow her bridal party to pick a style that also suits their personalities and flatters their body types. She should not be afraid to try new ideas so she can achieve a truly Pinterest-worthy wedding,” Lohsen said.

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Considering a FRIDAY or

SUNDAY WEDDING?

Tips for couples who are looking to save money

he cost of weddings continues to rise. In its 2016 Real Weddings Study, bridal resource The Knot found that the average wedding cost couples and their families more than $35,000. With such a high price tag, it’s no wonder happy couples look for ways to save money. One of the ways couples can save a sizable amount of money on their weddings is to tie the knot on Friday or Sunday instead of hosting a more traditional Saturday afternoon or evening wedding. Wedding ceremony and reception venues may charge considerably less to host weddings on Fridays or Sundays. Reception venues tend to be the largest wedding expenses, so reducing those rates can go a long way toward helping couples stay within their budgets. While the cost-savings of Friday or Sunday weddings may

10 | UPSTATE BRIDE MAGAZINE | 2017

be the main focus for happy couples, it’s important that grooms- and brides-to-be recognize that planning Friday or Sunday weddings may require some unique planning.

Avoid holiday weekends

Three-day holiday weekends may seem like the ideal time to host Friday or Sunday weddings, as guests likely already have Friday or Monday off from work. But the cost of travel and lodging may be much higher on holiday weekends than non-holiday weekends. That may compel some guests to decline their invitations. In addition, many families have holiday weekend traditions and it may be unfair for couples to ask them to interrupt or cancel those plans to attend their weddings.

Consider the timing

When hosting a Friday wedding, couples may want to start the ceremony later than

they might if they were getting married on a Saturday. That’s because out-of-town guests who don’t want to use more than one vacation day to attend the wedding may be flying in on the day of the wedding. A later start time gives guests more flexibility when booking flights. Starting later also allows local guests to work a full day and still make it to the ceremony on time. Couples who opt for a Sunday wedding may want their ceremonies to start earlier than they would on Saturday to accommodate guests who need to go to work on Monday morning.

Confirm vendor availability

Wedding vendors are accustomed to working on Saturdays, when the vast majority of weddings take place. So couples should not simply assume a favorite deejay, band or catering company will be

available to work their Friday or Sunday weddings. Couples who have particular entertainers or caterers in mind should confirm the availability of these vendors before booking a wedding and reception facility. It’s also important that couples getting married on Sundays confirm that hotel rooms will be clean and ready in time for their guests to make it to the ceremony. Many hotels host wedding parties on Fridays and Saturday nights, and some might not be able to turn rooms around in time to accommodate Sunday wedding parties. Tying the knot on a day other than Saturday can save couples money and help make their weddings more unique. But it’s important that couples consider more than just cost-savings before agreeing to get married on a Friday or Sunday. — mcg.metrocreativeconnection.com

ENCORE! Brides have tons of options for a second wedding

By Melissa Erickson More Content Now

emarriage is on the rise especially among Americans 55 and older, according to the Pew Research Center. Brides doing a redo of the “I do” may find choosing a wedding gown challenging, even if they know they want a dress that’s drastically different than the one they wore the first time. The bridal industry isn’t aimed solely at younger brides. Mature brides will find their options are almost endless, from ball gowns to form-fitting dresses, said Jennette Kruszka, spokeswoman, Kleinfeld Manhattan. “Most wedding dresses are ageless and when it’s your wedding day, it doesn’t matter about dressing for your age,” Kruszka said. With age comes wisdom, and that includes fashion sense. “Encore brides (aka second brides) have the benefit of life experience to understand what details and styles make them look and feel their best,” said Lori Conley, divisional merchandise manager for bridal, lingerie and flower girl, David’s Bridal. “We see older brides shopping across all the brands we offer since it truly comes down to their fashion preference.There are those that look for simplicity, perhaps because of a low-key or destination wedding locale, while there are those who want to take advantage of being the center of attention and opt for a princess-worthy ball gown. It’s all about the attitude, not the age.”

Tips Many older women gravitate toward gowns that offer coverage or support and pair them with supportive undergarments to smooth and enhance curves. “Steer clear of low backs that aren’t as compatible with bras and Spanx,” Conley said. Like most brides, encore brides opt to wear one of the hundreds of shades of ivory or champagne, the experts agreed. “To make the most of their shopping experience, brides should be prepared for their bridal shopping appointments. Kleinfeld suggests setting a budget which includes veils, headpieces, alterations and accessories. We also suggest you limit your entourage to a small group of close friends and family whose opinions you value and have your best interest at heart,” Kruszka said. The most important thing is that the bride “no matter their age, should feel empowered to wear a dress that makes them feel beautiful and special,” Conley said.

Choices are endless There are really no rules or guidelines to follow when it comes to an encore dress. “It doesn’t matter of your age or how many times you tied the knot,” said Kruszka. Some choose to go the traditional route, but many second-time brides are opting for something more on trend. “Two-piece pantsuits and short rompers are very popular for the nontraditional bride looking to make a statement.They are also perfect for all the wedding occasions such as showers, rehearsal dinners and reception looks,” Kruszka said.

PHOTOS: DAVID’S BRIDAL

“Sheath or collapsed A-line gowns are a great compromise for the bride who still wants to feel like a bride but doesn’t want to look like a cupcake,” Conley said. “The straighter skirt allows for an air of sophistication and fits a wide array of body types. If she doesn’t want to opt for a gown, a beautiful tea-length dress or even an elegant pantsuit are great alternatives.” 2017 | UPSTATE BRIDE MAGAZINE | 11

ABOLD

CHOICE

Color and drama highlight this year’s bridal trends

By Melissa Erickson More Content Now

rom sweeping princess gowns to unexpected modern silhouettes, covered-up to sexy, today’s wedding gowns follow no rules. “There seem to be endless options for brides today in terms of what they can select for their wedding day look,” said Lori Conley, divisional merchandise manager for bridal, lingerie and flower girl, David’s Bridal. “While classic gowns will always have a place in the industry, there is most definitely an emergence of gowns with more ease and simplicity.The rules of old are being reinterpreted with brides 12 | UPSTATE BRIDE MAGAZINE | 2017

opting to wear short dresses, separates or even jumpsuits for their walk down the aisle.” And there’s no clear favorite, said Jennette Kruszka, spokeswoman, Kleinfeld Manhattan, whose “customers from around the world desire all styles from classic lace ball gowns to sexy fit-and-flare dresses.”

Trends Some of the hottest trends this year “include off-the-shoulder necklines with classic silhouettes,” Kruszka said. Also popular are “soft fabrics and unstructured bodies of flowing sheath dresses. Sparkle is reinvented every season, and this season the beading patterns are more intricate and

subtle.This season short rompers and jumpsuits also made a scene – perfect for the rehearsal dinner or after-party,” she added. “Color is one of the hottest trends,” Conley said. “Brides are moving beyond the traditional white and ivory and favoring more bold color choices. Pinks and blushes are the most popular as they lend themselves beautifully to the romantic rustic vibe of many of today’s weddings. For the most fashionable of brides, smoky blues and greys are a sophisticated option.” Brides are looking sexier than ever. “Plunging necklines are everywhere! They can be truly seductive when they’re finishing off a slinky sheath or can be tamer when topping off a more

PHOTOS: DAVID’S BRIDAL, KLEINFELD BRIDAL

Get the designer look

traditional ball gown,” Conley said. “Additionally, low backs continue to be a big hit with brides.Whether adorned with lace or subtly sheer, they ensure that a bride makes a statement from all angles. For the really dramatic brides, bodices that feature sheer panels are the ultimate in sexy.” Also popular are dramatic skirts. Whether they be layer upon layer of voluminous ruffles or soft ethereal cascades, these skirts pack drama and movement when a bride walks down the aisle, Conley said. A more adventurous bride may “ditch the veil and make an entrance with a hooded cape from Mark Zunino’s runway or sparkle down the runway with body jewelry from Pnina Tornai,” Kruszka said. Also upping the allure factor are illusion netting and “subtle yet sexy illusion cutouts at the side seam as well as plunging necklines with illusion netting to the belly button,”

Kruszka said.

Toppers Brides are embracing the option of covering up the shoulders, and the accessories department is experiencing a big interest in tops, boleros and capelets. “Jeweled capes are the perfect way to add an accessory to a simple, lessembellished dress. Capes/boleros can also create two looks in one.The bride can wear the cape for the ceremony and remove it for the reception,” Kruszka said. “Toppers are a fantastic way to transform the look of a gown, whether it is for added coverage for the whole day or just to change up your look from the ceremony to the reception.Winter brides are loving faux fur wraps for a bit of glam, while dainty lace capelets are a favorite for brides looking for a vintage touch,” Conley said.

While it typically takes a few seasons for high-fashion design to “trickle down” to bridal design, brides are certainly influenced by the trends shown on the runways. “For the past few years, designers have been presenting sexy nudeillusion evening wear styles which you have begun to see walking down the wedding aisles on real brides,” Kruszka said. “Brides have instant access to what’s new in fashion via the web and social media sites such as Instagram. Because of this they are taking more risks and looking for their wedding day looks to be an extension of their personal style,” Conley said. One thing to keep in mind: Most of the dresses brides see on the runway typically don’t hit bridal stores until four months later, Kruszka said. “If a bride sees a dress on social media during the runway shows, she should follow that particular designer and learn when their next trunk show is.The dresses travel while in production, and at a trunk show you will typically see the latest samples from the newest collection,” she said. 2017 | UPSTATE BRIDE MAGAZINE | 13

“An off-white dinner jacket is great for summer and gives off a casual, resort feel. Velvet dinner jackets are great for fall/winter.”

By Melissa Erickson More Content Now

he bride will look gorgeous on the big day, but the groom needs to dress to impress, too. Fashion trends come and go, but looking good is always in style — and that means starting with a great fit. “I believe the groom should feel just as special as the bride on their wedding day,” said Joseph Abboud, chief creative director,Tailored Brands.

A perfect fit Trends in wedding suits and tuxedos don’t change as dramatically as in wedding gowns, but good tailoring always matters. It takes time to be meticulously measured:The groom-to-be should get fitted 30 to 60 days before the event. “Get your fiancée involved and take their opinions into consideration,” Abboud said. “It should take about two fittings. On the first visit, customers can select the style and try on tuxedos/suits for the fit. On the second visit when the garment comes in, our expert 14 | UPSTATE BRIDE MAGAZINE | 2017

YOUR

BEST

LOOK

PHOTOS: JOSEPH ABBOUD / TAILORED BRANDS

Joseph Abboud

Tips for the fashion-forward groom

tailors will help the customer ensure the fit.” Fashion can be daunting if you don’t know the rules. For example, only about a quarter-inch of sleeve cuff should be exposed under the suit jacket sleeve, Abboud said. A professional can help with the details like getting a proper shoulder fit and how wide your belt should be. Today’s grooms are opting for form-fitting outfits with super-slim or skinny pants. “The modern man is wearing a leaner, trimmer tuxedo that fits closer to the body. It’s important to have the right fit and look like you own the tuxedo,” Abboud said. As the trend pendulum swings, lapel widths have gotten slimmer, but remember the width of the lapel should be in proportion to the wearer. “Lapels depend on your preference but notch, peak and shawl collar lapels are still in style; they’re slimmer than they used to be,” Abboud said. “For a traditional look, I love the beauty and elegance of a black tuxedo. It looks good against the bride. For a more modern look, men are opting for the classic suiting style.”

Stand out, subtly

Men who want to show off their individuality can chose a stylish wedding suit with mismatched options in jacket, waistcoat and trousers or play with colors. Menswear fashion follows celebrity styles, and designers are “still seeing a lot of navy on the red carpet. Lighter-colored suits are also more casual and laid-back,” Abboud said. Pay attention to the season and embrace what nature presents. “An off-white dinner jacket is great for summer and gives off a casual, resort feel.Velvet dinner jackets are great for fall/winter,” Abboud said. Lastly, add personality with accent colors in pocket squares, lapels, even socks. Depending on the fold, pocket squares can be simple to sophisticated. “For a signature white pocket square, I love a square fold. A beautiful patterned silk pocket square can be tucked into your pocket as a small accent,” Abboud said.

TYING THE KNOT

he phrase “tying the knot” is synonymous with getting married. Although the words can represent the symbolic joining of two lives together, in some cultures, getting married actually requires tying a knot. The custom traces its origins to an ancient Babylonian tradition in which threads from the clothes of both the bride and groom were tied in a knot to represent the couple’s union. Other cultures have embraced this tradition, and couples tie ceremonial knots during their wedding ceremonies.

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2017 | UPSTATE BRIDE MAGAZINE | 15

INFORMATION OVERLOAD: How to plan your wedding in the age of social media

By Kerri Green Wedding & Event Planner

n a world where information is literally at your fingertips, it can be easy to feel like you’re lost when it comes to planning your perfect wedding. With so many social media platforms available to you like Facebook, Pinterest, Google, The Knot, Wedding Wire … trying to plan your wedding can be a bit like swimming with your bridal gown on! You try to come up for air but those layers and layers of tulle are pulling you down until you are so overwhelmed you don’t know which way is up anymore. Sorry for the graphic description, but having served the upstate New York area as a wedding planner for over ten years, I have seen firsthand how this can happen. I have had more than one bride call me, in tears, because she spent her whole morning on Pinterest looking for the right bridal bouquet and suddenly changed her mind about every aspect of her wedding because she saw something she liked better than what she planned. Information is wonderful. Social media has its advantages. But the trick is knowing what you are looking for and being steadfast in your plans before starting a random online search. Here are some helpful tips when using the internet to plan your wedding:

Searching for vendors:

Online is a great way to see who is in the area you are planning to have your wedding. That’s the great thing about a search engine … you input the location, search for “Blank near Blank” and BOOM - a list just magically appears. But that’s only the start of your journey. I can’t stress enough the importance of comparison shopping, calling references and asking questions. All too often someone fills out an online contact form, someone answers them (electronically) and you think you have done your work. Wrong, wrong, wrong. Just because someone shows up at the top of a list doesn’t necessarily mean they are the best. And I say this, knowing when you search for my line of work, I tend to come up at the top. Still – does not mean you should automatically hire them. Have a phone conversation or better yet Skype or 16 | UPSTATE BRIDE MAGAZINE | 2017

FaceTime so you have a face to go with the name. Part of your responsibility as the consumer is to do your homework and assess who is best for what you are looking for. When you have a partner or a wedding planner, you can share the work load or your planner may have experience with some of the vendors you are considering and can help save some of that time researching.

fireworks while you dance under the full moon … do it. I would like to give the advice of not sharing details online and make it special for your guests, but I realize that some people just like to have the feedback and want to share this part of their lives. Just be cautious and take opinions with a grain of salt – unless it’s your partner.

R&R for Two:

Decorating 101:

From flowers to centerpieces, favors to those special touches and signs … there are a lot of photos and ideas once you start searching. Before delving into this “Bermuda Triangle” of ideas, have a plan of what you are looking for. What’s your color scheme? What is your theme? What do you like? What don’t you like? If all of a sudden your country chick wedding with gold trimming has turned into watermelon linens with polka dot bridesmaid dresses and a chicken wing eating contest - you have gone too far! Step away from your device, take a deep breath and go back to your plan where you outlined your chic country theme with gold and lilac accents. Clearly you have gone off the rails and need to be pulled back. Blindly scrolling through wedding pics, albums and online galleries will not only confuse you about what you wanted, but there is also a sense of disappointment sometimes if it doesn’t look exactly how you saw it online. These items should be used for ideas, not to be copied exactly. Take an idea and make it your own but more importantly stay true to what you wanted and try not to get swayed by what someone else did or didn’t do. Which brings me to the next topic …

“Trying to plan your wedding can be a bit like swimming with your bridal gown on!” Kerri Green

I always tell my couples to be sure to find time for themselves when planning your wedding. This is a time that the internet and information can be helpful! Use discount places like Groupon or some of the hotel and travel discounting sites for a quick getaway.You will need a little R&R and it’s important to remember that this is all about the two of you and celebrating your love and commitment. The internet is a wonderful tool to have when you are planning your wedding. In my 10+ years as a wedding planner, I know that I have relied on it more and more when helping couples. Using a share drive, sharing photos of ideas and the online resources have been invaluable. Just knowing how to use these tools will be helpful to you and will keep you from drowning in information overload. The only thing you should be drowning in on your wedding day is love and fun! Happy Planning!

Third Party Criticism

You have lots of ideas and you want to bounce those ideas off of your family and friends. Where else can you do that and get the quickest response? Through social media. Unfortunately, when you ask someone for their opinion they are likely to give it - it’s not always what you want to hear. You need to remember that this day is about you and your partner and not anyone else. So if you’re going to share your ideas and plans ahead of time, be ready to stick to your guns and don’t let anyone rain on your parade er - wedding. If you and your partner want to kayak in on a lake, roast a pig on a spit and then send off

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FLOWERS

“For one client who basically wanted the tablescape to look like a cutting garden, we made a long wood trough that we filled with dirt and did the whole table by color.” Lulu Powers

Centerpieces can include anything you imagine

By Melissa Erickson More Content Now

loral centerpieces can be simple, classic and traditional, but thinking outside the box can result in inspired creations that reflect your personality. “Your flowers should reflect you, whether it’s the color of flower you choose or your tablecloth’s pattern or color,” says Los Angeles-based Lulu Powers, “The Entertainologist.” “If you like modern then pick a modern arrangement and have that done throughout. Maybe all the tables reflect a different phase of your life.” More creative ideas from Powers, author of “Lulu Powers Food to Flowers”:

Winter greens Staying in season is on point and usually helps with the budget. In winter “use all the beautiful greens with pinecones. Write different quotes you love and have them coming out of

18 | UPSTATE BRIDE MAGAZINE | 2017

each of the pinecones or give your guests a tag and have them write a wish for the bride and groom.You could even put it at everyone’s place with a small clothespin spray-painted to go with your wedding theme,” Powers suggested.

Skip the vases For one wedding, Powers used a collection of silver goblets and cups belonging to the bride’s grandmother. “We used all shades of purple flowers because it was the bride’s favorite color, with low candles. It was simple and stunningly beautiful,” Powers said. For fall weddings, use vegetables or gourds to put flowers in. “For one client who basically wanted the tablescape to look like a cutting garden, we made a long wood trough that we filled with dirt and did the whole table by color,” Powers said. Each individual flower was held with a water pick and in the middle was an herb garden. “It’s just different and

definitely a conversation starter,” she said.

Forget the flowers Centerpieces don’t have to be floral. Candles look beautiful and add romance. “Save every clear glass bottle you have (or order online) and use to put candles in and fill your table. Use higher and lower candles. The glow is amazing,” Powers said. Fruit, branches, books and objets d’art are creative alternative centerpieces. “You could do an edible tablescape with grapes, strawberries, nuts, whole walnuts with crackers, branches of kumquats, pomegranates – which can be messy when cut open but look fabulous – dried fruit, breads, cheeses, boards of meat. It’s so fun. Another one is a tablescape with all edible fruits of the season, whether it be peaches, pears, persimmons … use an abundance and make your table look full,” Powers said. For a sweet centerpiece of candy use various-sized glass

vases and silver stands filled with different kinds of treats. Decorate with gold foil-covered chocolate coins all around the candy jars and dishes, Powers said. A healthier alternative is a crudite tablescape, with raw vegetables cut in different lengths or sizes. Use metal cookie cutters to trim vegetables into floral shapes and skewer them on long sticks, covering the stick with a scallion, Powers said. Let guests stroll down memory lane with a table–scape of pictures from the bride’s and groom’s childhoods in silver and gold frames in between magnolia branches down the table, Powers said. Complete your look with table coverings. Since tablecloths can be expensive to rent, consider high-end hand-painted paper or simply use quality gift wrap, Powers said. Use it as a runner all down the table over a white cloth, keeping it in place with double-sided tape.

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W Let them eat

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Diana Friedell

I offer Pre-Wedding readings to couples. Let your Spirit Guides help you begin your journey together!

edding receptions culminate when the happy couple stands before their tiered and towering wedding cake to cut the first slice. The tradition of wedding cakes has endured since ancient times, and cakes have been presented in many incarnations since their introduction. In fact, some have not been cake at all. One of the first wedding “cakes” was made in ancient Rome and was comprised of bread. This bread was broken over the bride’s head to symbolize future fertility and good luck for the couple. Until the 19th century, wedding cakes were actually bridal pies. A “bride’s pie” was made of flaky pastry and filled with oysters, pine kernels, cockscombs, lambstones, sweetbreads, and spices. According to Gastronomica, a journal of food studies, humble versions of wedding cakes were also created with mutton and mincemeat. Bridal pies eventually gave way to sweeter offerings, including fruited cakes that served as symbols of fertility and prosperity.

Today, wedding cakes run the gamut from all-white, fondant-covered confections to simple sheet cakes. Some couples even opt to serve their guests cupcakes or cookies. Although white is the preferred color of wedding cakes, couples may opt for hues that evoke the color schemes of their weddings. Queen Victoria of England was one of the first people to have pure white icing on her wedding cake. It is believed that this is how “royal icing” received its name. Wedding cakes are usually priced by the slice, and prices can range anywhere from $1.50 per slice and upward. Couples can budget around $300 to $500 for moderately priced wedding cakes for parties with 150 to 200 people. According to the wedding resource The Knot, the most expensive wedding cake commissioned to date was made by Buddy Valastro of Carlo’s Bakery. At the request of New York City socialite Devorah Rose for her diamond gala event, the $30 million cake was topped with jewels. — mcg.metrocreativeconnection.com

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SHARE & LIKE Tips to optimize your wedding on social media

Hiring a service to live-tweet your nuptials can keep your wedding trending after it’s over. “We have been surprised to see that most of the ‘likes’ from the weddings we cover happen the next day. Guests love reliving the day and surfing the hashtag the next day after being in the moment at the real wedding.”

By Melissa Erickson More Content Now

Creating a story If you want your wedding to go viral, you’ll need to embrace social media. “Share the venue Wi-Fi password, set up a charging station with dongles for popular phones, and have ample signage about your wedding hashtag to remind people to post,” Pyle said. “Sharing a hashtag early means your wedding feed will be populated with stories from other wedding-related events like the engagement party, the bachelor and bachelorette parties, showers and rehearsal dinner. Some tech-savvy couples have set up projector slideshows so photos from social media with the wedding hashtag display live on the screen at the reception.” To promote your wedding hashtag, “share it wherever you can! Include it on your save-the-dates, your wedding website, even on the invitation itself. At the reception, have signage and/or include it on your menu. You could also have your DJ or singer announce it as well.The more you remind people and encourage sharing, the more likely you’ll have fun photos to look at the next day,” Pyle said.

“Due to social media, people of all ages have a more intimate look into the lives of their peers, giving a new standard for how we feel we should be living our lives to the fullest.” Sophie Pyle

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s your wedding trending on Twitter? Social media has changed the way brides and everyone else discover, explore and share the experience. While the wedding industry is rooted in tradition, technology in the form of Pinterest, Instagram, Lover. ly, Facebook and more is redefining weddings, from ring selfies and proposal moments to viral videos of choreographed father-daughter dances. For all the positive publicity social media brings to the big day, there is a digital downside, though, as it can create unrealistic expectations for the perfect wedding. “Due to social media, people of all ages have a more intimate look into the lives of their peers, giving a new standard for how we feel we should be living our lives to the fullest,” said Sophie Pyle, founder,Tweet the Bride, a wedding social media company based in Washington, D.C. “Today, a wedding is seen by hundreds or even thousands of people who weren’t present at the actual wedding.This certainly has set the bar high for couples who may feel pressure to keep up with what is seen at the weddings of their friends.”

Popular platforms Instagram is an ideal visual platform for sharing the highlights and milestones in your lives. “A wedding, with its beautiful flowers, hair and makeup, decor and food – not to mention all of its own milestones like cake-cutting and bouquet-throwing – is meant to be Instagrammed from beginning to end,” Pyle said. 2017 | UPSTATE BRIDE MAGAZINE | 21

INVITATION

etiquette

When and to whom to send news about your big day By Melissa Erickson More Content Now

nvitations are a crucial part of the big day, but people often have some questions about the correct way to do things. Here’s some advice from Heather Wiese Alexander, creative director, Dallas,Texas-based Bell’Invito stationers. When should invitations go out? Ideally invitations are sent six to eight weeks in advance of the wedding date. For more formal weddings or for weddings where many guests will be arranging travel, eight weeks is best. Do you need to send a save-the-date card and if so, when? Save the dates are by no means a must.There are two times when sending a save the date is highly recommended: for destination weddings and weddings during a holiday or common vacation period. Save the dates are sent so that guests can begin to make travel, work and personal arrangements to be with you on your wedding date. On the short side, save the dates for weddings can be sent four months prior to the wedding, and on the other end of things no longer than one year prior. What’s a good deadline to make the RSVP? Before you decide a response date for your guests, check first with all your wedding vendors who might need to know the number of guests

attending.They will have hard dates they need your information. I don’t always recommend a response date, but if you are more comfortable giving guests one, I recommend two to four weeks before the wedding, two being for casual ceremonies where a venue might only need a head count, and four for weddings where guests’ names must be written on place and escort cards and seating charts need to be made. Can information about the registry be included in invitation? Absolutely not. Never. Who gets a plus-one? The guest count is ultimately the responsibility of the host.To be frank, the host of a wedding is the person or parties paying the wedding bills. Those parties need to come together to agree on budget. If budget is less of a concern, appropriate “plus one” guidelines go first to married couples of course, then engaged couples. Afterwards, the inclusion of a guest’s guest is at the discretion of the host. Common sense dictates a certain amount of fairness when dishing out or withholding a plus-one — and people do indeed talk. Shelling out a plus one to one guest but not another is sure to stir up drama. If two individuals have lived together as a couple for years but are not engaged, it is polite to invite them as a couple or as a guest and a plus one, but it is not mandatory.

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A PERFECT

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Involving families in a wedding

By Melissa Erickson More Content Now

I “It can be a good idea to include children, as long as you can do it without imposing your expectations.” therapist and author Susan Stiffelman

n the past second marriages were often discreet, low-key events, but today people tend to celebrate remarriage with great enthusiasm. If the big day involves two adults with children, there’s even more reason to make the wedding a family affair. There really are no rules for including children from previous relationships in the wedding. Instead go with what works for your family depending on the ages of the children and how much they want to be involved. “It can be a good idea to include children” in the wedding ceremony and a good step toward a happy future, “as long as you can do it without imposing your expectations” on them, said Susan Stiffelman (Susan Stiffelman.com) a marriage and family therapist and author of “Parenting with Presence” and “Parenting without Power Struggles.”

Be OK with feelings While the bride and groom may be over the moon about their impending nuptials, there’s no guarantee that their children feel the same way. Not only is it completely normal not to feel an instant loving family

connection, it can take as long as four years for stepchildren and stepparents to feel comfortable with one another, according to the National Stepfamily Resource Center. “As parents, you’re the anchor in their lives,” Stiffelman said. “Don’t push too hard. You can say,‘I want you to be a part of it as much or as little as you want to be involved.’ Understand children might be dealing with different feelings in the days before and after the wedding. Be conscious that kids may have hard feelings that are difficult to reconcile,” Stiffelman said. Don’t make them feel guilty if they don’t feel a certain way about the wedding, and don’t push your expectations on them, Stiffelman said. Instead, “check in with them frequently. Ask them how they’re feeling,” she said. Kids may be filled with emotions but lack the words to articulate them. Instead, speak the words for them: “Grandma and grandpa are coming in town and isn’t that exciting? How are you feeling about everything that’s going on?” Stiffelman suggested.

Keep them involved There are so many ways children can be involved in the wedding, starting with the planning stages. “Ask their opinion and listen to their

input” on things such as what flowers to order, what songs to play at the reception or what colors to go with, Stiffelman said. It will give them ownership of the day and help them feel excited about it. “Make them feel that they are part of the day and the wedding. It’s not just two people getting married, it’s the blending of a family,” Stiffelman said. Some children will welcome the opportunity to be a part of the wedding party as a flower girl or ring bearer, maid of honor or best man, but not all kids will, Stiffelman said. “Be aware that children may be grappling with the issue of loyalties” and others would rather not take on such a significant role, she said. Within the ceremony, parents can make vows of love and support to each other’s children and children can respond, “We do, too.” Since it’s going to be a long day, it would be a “kind gesture” to allow children to invite a friend to attend the wedding with them, Stiffelman said. A friend can provide support and help keep a child entertained. And when it’s all over, some brides and grooms will turn the honeymoon into a family vacation. 2017 | UPSTATE BRIDE MAGAZINE | 23

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