Upstate Weddings - August 2023

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Weddings Upstate

The most beautiful bride from head to toe

A bouquet for every bride

Put some personality into your wedding

Choosing your wedding day menu

The dance

Finding the perfect father-daughter and mother-son songs

MAgAZine AUGUST 2023
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Weddings Upstate

Upstate Weddings Magazine

The Daily Star, 102 Chestnut St., Oneonta, NY 13820. © 2023 - All rights reserved.

Publisher and General Manager Valerie Secor Layout Tracy Bender

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Content provided in part by Metro Creative Services and Newspaper Toolbox. Opinions expressed in the publication are those of the authors and do not necessarily represent those of the publication management.

4 Choosing a dress to suit your body style

5 The most beautiful bride from head to toe

6 The wedding vows

7 a bouquet for every bride

10 put some personality into your wedding

11 The wedding party lends helping hands

12 Choosing your wedding day menu

14 pointers for post-wedding brunch

16 The dance: father-daughter and mother-son

18 Time-honored wedding traditions

20 eleven-step guide to the perfect wedding

21 renewing your vows

22 The most popular honeymoon destinations

COLUMNS

8 Charlie the Matchmaker Cherish every moment

ON THE COVER:

shauna Aaron pictured on her wedding day in front of Chapel Hall (now known as Franklin stage Company) in Franklin on June 18, 2022. Photo by Toni Walley Photography. Congratulations!

VOLUME 7 | ISSUE 2 | AUGUST 2023 IMage by FreepIk
MAgAZine

Choosing a dress to suit your body type

Thousands of different styles and models of wedding gowns are available on the market, one more beautiful than the next. From white to cream, from long to short, and lace, pearls, and silks: there is certainly no lack of choice. But before you set out on a marathon tour of all the wedding dress boutiques, it is important to get to know your body type so that you can know what style of dress will best suit you.

• Do you have an hourglass shape (shoulders and hips of equal width, with smaller waist)? You could treat yourself to a “mermaid” gown that accentuates your curves. if you dream of a royal wedding, the princess dress is perfect for you, as is a twopiece dress with a bustier. in short, anything that flatters the waistline will emphasize your feminine curves.

• For apple or V-shaped figures (shoulders broader than the hips), look more for an empire waist or A-line

dress which will balance your proportions.

• If your hips are wider than your shoulders, you have a pear or A-shaped figure. Look for an A-line style and avoid a straight or mermaid dress that draws eyes where you don’t want them to be.

• When your shoulders, hips, and waist are all of a similar width, you have a straight or i-shape. Avoid a straight dress, opting for an A-line or princess style or one with a bodice, which will create a more curved effect.

• If you’re petite, look for a simple dress without too many frills. Belts should be avoided, as they will cut your silhouette in two where a lengthening effect would be more desirable.

no matter what your body type, let your instincts guide you towards the dress of your dreams. don’t hesitate to ask for a few extra adjustments from the shop’s seamstress so that you will feel completely comfortable in your gown. ª

Thousands of different styles and models of wedding gowns are available on the market, one more beautiful than the next.

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The most beautiful bride

from head to toe T

he excitement, joy, and anticipation you’ll feel on the big day will make you radiant with beauty. After all, there’s nothing like a good dose of happiness to put a blush on the cheeks, a sparkle in the eyes, and a beautiful smile on every bride’s face. But to truly glow from head to toe, perhaps you should think about consulting some beauty professionals.

The hair stylist

A stunning bride needs a fabulous hairstyle. Whichever style appeals to you, you’ll want to entrust your hair to the expert hands of a real hair salon professional. Remember to make two appointments: one to try different hairstyles, and another for the big day.

The esthetician

Manicure, pedicure, hair removal, facial, eyelash extensions, and massage: a wedding is the perfect excuse to

Future brides should make their appointments early; the best beauty professionals are always in demand.

pamper your body. not to mention that stray body hairs, dry skin, and damaged nails are not on the guest list! don’t forget to make two separate appointments for your makeup as well.

The dentist

Because laughter is the right of every newly married couple, treat yourself to a teeth whitening treatment for a sparkling smile.

A beautiful and organized bride

• Make your appointments as soon as possible.

• Carry a photo of your dress and accessories to all your appointments, along with inspiring images from magazines.

• Find out the best time to pamper yourself with the various treatments. This way you won’t have any regrets, such as hair coloring done too early (hello, roots!) or a microdermabrasion done too close to your big day. ª

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The wedding vows

Follow these helpful tips for writing your own

The exchange of wedding vows is a key component of a wedding ceremony and sometimes helps to ensure the marriage is binding in accordance with the faith of the participants. Vows also may be exchanged in service of tradition. According to the wedding resource Zola, vows are not a legal necessity for marriage and some cultures do not use them. still, many couples like to recite vows during their weddings.

Couples have various options pertaining to the vows they share. in religious ceremonies, vows may be predetermined as part of the requirements and rituals of that faith and religious texts. individuals also may choose to read romantic verses from poetry. Another option is to write one’s own vows.

When drafting vows, here are some guidelines to follow.

¤ Utilize a template. scour the internet for resources on writing vows.You’ll likely find sample vows or even templates where you can fill in information if you do not know where to begin.

¤ Utilize memories of when you met. Your vows can include special anecdotes or stories of time spent in the early days when you first knew this was the person with whom you would spend your life.

¤ Explain who this person is to you. Tell the audience what it is about this person that has you smitten. is he or she

your partner in crime? Confidante? Best friend? Or all of the above?

¤ Share what you are pledging. Write out exactly what you are vowing to your special someone. Be definitive and draw from your personal experiences. For example, “i vow to support you each time you adopt another shelter dog.” “i promise to not hog the covers.” “ i vow to warm your toes on cold evenings.” Make it personal, heartfelt and humorous.

¤ Say you’ll be there. At the heart of vows is a promise that you’ll be around no matter what life throws at you. This is a safe sentiment to include in your vows, and likely one your future spouse and other guests will come to expect.

¤ Keep things brief. There is no need to write a novel for your vows, which may reassure you if you’re nervous about the right wording and speaking in front of an audience. Outline the most important points you want to share and build on those sentiments.

¤ Reflect on the future. Wrap up your vows by noting your excitement about what the future may bring, whether that is a family, travel or another adventure.

Wedding vows are traditional components of many weddings. Couples easily can write their own vows to personalize the ceremony even further. ª

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A bouquet for every bride

The perfect bouquet is one that highlights the bride’s attire without stealing the spotlight from her. Here are a few popular bridal bouquet styles to consider:

Round ideal if you’re on the petite side. Keep it simple, delicate and short. As a general rule, avoid dense foliage, cascading bouquets and long stems. That being said, longer stems can be flattering if you’re quite curvy.

Cascading

Perfect for tall, thin brides. Choose a bouquet with long stems and cascading foliage to highlight your waist.

White great if your dress is colorful; not so great if it’s white or off-white.

Colorful

For energetic brides who aren’t afraid to turn heads. if your dress is also colorful, make sure you show it to your florist to avoid unfortunate clashes. ª

Brides should choose their bouquet according to their body type, their personality and their dress.

R a P hy
Bridget Bender smiles while holding her bridal bouquet, created by Ruth Bender, in this 2020 photo. | Josh Baldo Photog

EVERY MOMENT

It is hard to believe that summer is almost over. so many of us are saying “time is flying by” and i have to agree. The world we live in today is much different from the world most of us grew up in. i remember as a kid that summer seemed to drag on for an eternity before school started up again in september. But today the back to school advertising starts up in July and retailers start selling Halloween décor before August first.

But there is something that all of us can do to combat this ever quickening hamster wheel. We can start learning to cherish every moment. i know this may sound cliché but i have even started to try to slow down and take in the little details of each day. in doing so, i am now understanding that life is not the same old boring ritual day after day because each day holds an opportunity for us to enjoy life. We just have to take the time to actually enjoy it. so i am changing up my daily activities so that i can find these little slivers of happiness. i am making a conscious decision to put down my phone, shut the tv off and try to enjoy the world around me for a bit. And i am asking you to do the same. Whether it’s a cuddle with your kids or your fur babies. Or stepping outside at night to stare at the stars, or even more importantly, taking time to sit and chat with your loved ones about their day. go for it! What do you have to lose. now that i am teaching myself to slow down a bit, i am really starting to see a difference in my day to day mood.

And i am also starting to see a difference in my marriage. i have found that slowing down, putting my phone down and learning to cherish every moment gives me more time to have quality one on one time with my husband. Just imagine how your relationship may improve if you change your daily activities and slow down, unplug a little and start spending more time with your loved one.

Let’s all of us try to slow down and experience the little things and cherish every moment. if we all take the time to relax a little and enjoy life a little bit more, maybe time will stop slipping through our fingers so quickly. ª

the MATCHMAKER

Charlie Maffei was once known as CharlieTheMatchmaker. after years of working as a professional matchmaker in NyC, he retired and moved home to his hometown of Oneonta. These days you can find him spending quality time with his friends and family and of course his husband gary and their two dogs and five cats (all adopted from shelters). and you better believe if you say “Hi” he will give you a big smile and a warm greeting.

you can find Charlie’s book “Love Made easy With CharlieTheMatchmaker” for sale on amazon.

CHARLIE Ask

8 | UPsTATe Weddings MAgAZine | aUgUST 2023
Submit your requests to CharlieMaffei@gmail.com and you may find your answer in the next issue of Upstate Weddings, publishing in February of 2024.
Love, relationships, dating... Charlie has the professional experience to set you on the right path. Do you have something you’d like Charlie to
give his perspective on?
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Weddings present an opportunity to embrace time-honored traditions. However, couples can be as tradition-minded or as unique in their wedding details as they desire. There’s certainly room to let personalities shine through during both the ceremony and the reception.

increasingly couples are seeking ways to set their celebrations apart from the scores that came before them. While one may not want to banish all customs, there are several ways for couples to inject their own personalities into the proceedings. Here are seven ways to inject some personality into a wedding.

Have custom-designed rings made

Couples can work with jewelers to have rings made to their specifications rather than buying only what is available in the cases. Furthermore, the rings do not have to be matching sets. A couple can select ring styles that complement one another but may be slightly different in design.

Cut out the cake

Many couples just aren’t fans of traditional sponge cake with buttercream or fondant overlay, so why have that expensive, multi-tiered confectionary creation at the wedding? instead, serve a more popular dessert. dessert artists can whip up many impressive options and present them in dramatic (or cake-like) fashion. What about a tower of decadent brownies or a stack of fruit-andcream-filled crêpes?

put some

into your wedding personality

Write the vows

Vows present an excellent way for couples to let their personalities shine through. Couples can showcase humor, compassion, quirks, and more with the messages they share with one another.

Customize table numbering

seating cards traditionally guide guests to numbered tables around the reception hall. There is no rule that the tables have to be organized by numbers, however. Those who like movies can name the tables by movie titles. A couple that loves to travel can make the tables destinations around the world. Keep in mind the catering staff may ask that numbers also accompany the alternative system for ease of serving dinners and keeping orders straight.

Make a grand entrance

Couples need not feel beholden to taking a limousine to and from their weddings. Fans of the movie “Batman” can rent a Batmobile replica. Those who couldn’t get enough of “Breaking Bad” may want to roll up in an RV. There’s also the option of a horse-drawn carriage or a sports car.

Serve custom cocktails

Traditional drinks can be given custom names that pertain to details of the couple’s lives or how they met. if someone is a microbrewer or makes his or her own wine, these boutique beverages also can be served.

Create a monogram

Use the monogram on save-thedates, invitations, the home page of a wedding website, the ceremony program, and even on cocktail napkins at the reception. The continuity will help set the tone for the wedding.

Couples can allow their creativity and personality to shine through on their wedding day. ª

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The wedding party lends helping hands

It’s been said it takes a village to raise a child, and it also can take one to plan a wedding. despite most weddings only filling one day, many, many weeks of planning and various tasks are involved in creating magical and memorable events.

Bridal parties can prove invaluable during the wedding planning process and the wedding day if couples utilize their talents. According to the wedding resource The Knot, a typical wedding party consists of roughly four to five people on each side. That means around 10 individuals can provide extra help a happy couple needs. Here’s how the wedding party can assist future newlyweds.

• Assisting with choosing vendors

• Helping to pick out attire

• Putting together invitations

• Planning and hosting parties, like the engagement party, shower, and bachelor/bachelorette parties

• Helping the bride and/or groom dress

• Participating in photography sessions

• Serving as moral support for the couple, and helping to tame nerves or serving as a sounding board

Two members of the wedding party may go above and beyond the others in their roles. These include the maid/matron of honor and the best man, traditionally. However, there are no

rules dictating that a bride needs to have a woman as her close attendant nor the groom a man. These roles can go to whomever the couple desires, regardless of gender, and the title can reflect couples’ choices.

The maid/matron/man of honor is the bride’s right-hand person. This person handles many wedding day details, including signing the marriage license and helping the bride get situated before walking down the aisle.

The best man/woman acts as the groom’s personal advisor and assistant. This person is a master of ceremonies and presides over the other groomspeople. He or she will be the other signature on the wedding license.

Both of these individuals will provide speeches at the wedding reception and may also offer words at other events throughout the wedding-related activities.

The parents of the couple also will enjoy roles of prominence during the wedding. They can provide support and share their own experiences. They may help offset the costs of rehearsal dinners or other pre-wedding parties. Parents may share their own special toasts and can participate in wedding day traditions, such as first dances.

Wedding party members can ask the couple which tasks they can manage and the bride and groom should feel comfortable delegating to alleviate some wedding planning stress. ª

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Choosing your wedding day menu

French queen Marie Antoinette is credited with a phrase that loosely translates to “Let them eat cake.” guests at a wedding certainly will have their chance to enjoy cake, but it’s likely that wedding planners will need to offer a bit more sustenance to guests than this confectionary creation to keep them happy.

Many things stand out as memorable on a wedding day: the dress, the music, the adorable children who trip up or do some sort of zany antics down the aisle, and the food. guests often look forward to a wedding to wish a couple well in their new lives together, but also to enjoy a great meal. Couples should give careful consideration to their wedding reception menu so everyone ends the night with great memories and full bellies.

Decide on the type of service

Buffet, plated dinner, server-passed foods, or food stations are the options at couples’ disposal when planning reception dinners. The type of service often dictates the formality of the event. For example, a cocktail party where guests mingle and sample small bites throughout the night may be a more casual affair, while a plated multi-course meal is much more formal. Couples can decide which type of service fits their budgets and ideas of for the reception.

Expand your options

Largely gone are the days when guests select dishes on the R.S.V.P. months in advance and then are locked into their choices. now guests have more options and flexibility, particularly because couples and catering venues offer greater variety. A buffet-style meal gives guests chances to sample various foods in one sitting. However, even if couples choose a plated meal, they can select packages that offer guests the greatest number of options. Be sure to include a vegetarian or vegan option, a fish option, and a standard beef or chicken option to appeal to most.

Confirm food allergies or sensitivities

it’s likely someone on the guest list will have a food allergy or sensitivity. Making sure there is no cross-contamination is a serious consideration for such guests. The person or persons should be consulted about what the person can and cannot eat, and then those requirements should be conveyed to the catering manager. Certain people with food allergies are so leery about eating out that they may prefer to bring their own food to ensure it is safe. in this instance, ensure that the kitchen staff will be able to safely heat up or plate the food.

Food will likely be on the minds of wedding guests. Couples can ensure that their guests are satiated by making food a priority at their events. ª

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Four tips for a crowd-pleasing wedding meal

Putting together a wedding menu that aims to please everyone is no easy task. Here are a few tips to maximize your chances of success.

1 3 2 4

Avoid strong-tasting meat. Not everyone is a fan of lamb, game meat or fish. Poultry, on the other hand, is usually a sure bet. Provide more than one meal option if you can.

Mix it up. If you’re serving beef as a main, consider vegetarian appetizers or seafood hors-d’oeuvres. Avoid serving the same protein in more than one course.

Trust the experts. Don’t be afraid to ask your caterer for suggestions. If you’ve hired a chef, include his or her speciality dishes on the menu.

Have a plan B. If there are children, picky eaters or people with dietary restrictions among your guests, try to accommodate their preferences as much as you can. They’ll definitely appreciate the thought.

Buffet, plated or trendy?

Couples planning a wedding undoubtedly know that the food and drinks served at wedding receptions are major factors in how much guests enjoy the celebration. After all, hungry, thirsty guests will not be having fun.

According to the resource Wedding Forward, the national average cost per head at wedding receptions in the United states is $90. The wedding planning resource The Knot estimates that roughly 29 percent of a couple’s budget will go toward catering.

With so much money on the line and hungry guests to feed, couples face many decisions regarding their wedding day menus. Among the first questions a catering hall manager may ask is which type of dinner service couples prefer. Venues typically offer buffet and plated options, and the following can help couples choose which style is for them.

Plated service

A plated meal consists of all guests being seated and served a formal dinner, which usually includes an appetizer and entrée. A key benefit of this type of meal is that it ensures everyone eats at the same time. guests sometimes pre-select their food options on the R.S.V.P, which means that catering halls have advanced knowledge of food allergies or special needs. Or they select from a predetermined menu at the reception. Plated dinners are efficient and can keep the wedding running on schedule.

Plated service features only a select number of meal options, which can be a negative for some couples. guests cannot sample a few other things as they might like with a buffet. More servers are

needed for plated service, so staffing costs may be more for this option than they are for buffet service.

Buffet service

A wedding reception buffet features various foods in chafing dishes at a single centralized buffet station. While guests sometimes serve themselves, typically waitstaff spoon portions onto guests’ plates. There tends to be more variety with a buffet, and this option may feel more relaxing as well. Buffet meals encourage guests to mingle and provides an opportunity to sample different foods. some people don’t relish carrying dishes of food back to tables and risking spillage on formal clothing. Buffet also is less formal than a plated dinner. Buffets may even be more costly, since catering halls need to have a greater amount of food ready. There may be long wait times for buffet as well.

Additional options

These are not the only meal services available. A new trend for weddings is food station service. This is similar to a buffet, but has different stations situated throughout the room to avoid bottlenecks. Food stations can be themed, with Mexican offerings at one station and French delicacies at another. some couples choose to eschew traditional dinners altogether. in the event of a wedding that takes place early or late in the day, a brunch or even a simple cocktail party with passed bites may be preferable.

Couples should consider food service as they plan their weddings, and choose an option that fits their wedding budgets and visions. ª

Pointers forpostwedding brunch

A

post-wedding brunch is a nice way to wrap up a wedding weekend and gives a newly married couple a chance to spend more time with close friends and family, particularly if the couple isn’t immediately leaving for the honeymoon. A brunch is the perfect way to send guests on their way with a few extra hugs and full bellies.

A brunch is not a necessity by any means, but it is a nice gesture and a good way to wrap up a wedding weekend. Couples who plan on hosting brunches can consider these tips.

• Delegate: The happy couple already has a lot of details on their plate to ensure the wedding occurs with minimal hiccups. A parent or member of the bridal party may want to take on the task of planning the brunch to alleviate stress on the newly betrothed.

• Funding: There are no hard rules about who will pay for the brunch, but typically it is the person who hosts it. Couples may want to set aside funds in their budgets for the brunch, or parents of the couple may want to contribute.

• Timing: seeing as it likely was a late evening prior, the brunch should occur as late as possible in the morning, with 11 a.m. or noon a good start time so everyone has a chance to sleep in and recuperate.

• Ease: The brunch planner should make it easy on himself or herself by finding a venue that is close by. sometimes that venue may be a lodging location if the couple arranged for overnight accommodations. For example, if overnight guests stayed at a hotel near the reception site, that hotel may have a small conference or party room where brunch can be held. The brunch planner can work with the hotel staff to cater the brunch; otherwise, find a nearby restaurant that specializes in breakfast or brunch foods that is convenient to most.

• Invites: For those with big budgets, anyone can be invited to the wedding brunch, but it may be more manageable if it is restricted to only close friends and family, or only those who opted for the overnight wedding accommodations.

• Gifts: There is no need to offer another favor at the wedding brunch. However, if any favors from the wedding were left behind, they can be displayed at the brunch in case any guests forgot to take theirs.

• Duration: A 2- to 2½-hour brunch is sufficient.

• Food: Brunch implies a mix of breakfast and lunch treats, which can include bagels, muffins, omelets, waffles, cold cuts, and quiches. While cocktails like mimosas or bellinis may be offered, they’re not necessary after a night of indulgence. in fact, coffee and tea may be more coveted.

A post-wedding brunch is the perfect way to wrap up a successful wedding celebration. ª

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The dance

Songs tailor-made for father-daughter dances

Weddings can be as novel or traditional as couples prefer. Couples who go the traditional route will undoubtedly include certain spotlight dances in the reception.

The father-daughter dance is a staple of a wedding reception. According to the experts at Fred Astaire dance studios, the history of father-daughter dances can be traced back decades. The dance once was one last nod to dad before the bride’s husband became the most important man in her life. now it’s more symbolic of general love and affection.

Times have certainly changed from the first father-daughter dances and this tradition no longer carries the same meaning. in fact, despite what the name may imply, father-daughter dances needn’t take place with a father at all, especially if he passed away or is not in the bride’s life. she can choose any special person, whether a father figure, uncle, brother, mentor, etc. to honor during the dance.

Traditionally the father-daughter dance (and mother-son dance) takes place immediately following the newlyweds’ first dance together. However, some opt to have it after the toasts or before the cake cutting. Couples can make their preferences known prior to the reception and schedule these dances any time they desire, especially since they are frequently preceded by a special announcement.

While many brides prefer to dance to a slow-paced, heartfelt song, this needn’t always be the case. in recent years, some daddy-daughter duos have opted to put on shows with humorous dances or even entertaining showcases of fancy footwork to songs of all types. The song should match the vibe of the wedding. That said, certain songs seem tailor-made for the times during the reception when love and gratitude are expressed during these bittersweet dances.

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Bridget Bender dances with her father, Tom McHugh, to “My Little Girl” by Tim McGraw for the father-daughter dance during her 2020 wedding reception. | JOSH BALDO PHOTOGRAPHY

Country

• “The Man Who Loves You the Most,” Zac Brown Band

• “My Little Girl,” Tim McGraw

• “Just Fishin’,” Trace Adkins

Big Band

• “Unforgettable,” Nat King Cole

• “The Way You Look Tonight,” Frank Sinatra

• “Swinging on a Star,” Bing Crosby

Indie/Singer-Songwriter

• “You’ve Got a Friend,” James Taylor

• “Let it Be Me,” Ray LaMontagne

• “Father and Daughter,” Paul Simon

• “Wildflowers,” Tom Petty

• “Constellations,” Jack Johnson

Rock

• “Sweet Child O’ Mine,” Guns N’ Roses

• “When You Need Me,” Bruce Springsteen

• “Scarlet Begonias,” Grateful Dead

R&B

• “Ain’t that Love,” Ray Charles

• “Daddy,” Beyoncé

• “Dance with My Father,” Luther Vandross

• “Love of My Life,” Brian McKnight

Tried and True

• “Butterfly Kisses,” Bob Carlisle

• “Wonderful World,” Louis Armstrong

• “Hero,” Mariah Carey

• “You Are So Beautiful,” Joe Cocker

• “Lullabye (Goodnight My Angel),” Billy Joel

Make memories with moTHEr-Son DAncES

There is nothing quite like the love a mother has for her children. When it comes time for a son to get married, Mom has already seen him through plenty of milestone moments like birthdays, proms, graduations, and other achievements that showcased his transition from boy to man.

A wedding is a momentous occasion in a family’s life. during a wedding, couples opt to show their love and gratitude to their parents or guardians in many ways, including through traditional dances. The mother-son dance gives the groom an opportunity to honor the special woman in his life who saw him through thick and thin. Much like the father-daughter dance, the mother-son dance traditionally takes place during the reception after the newlyweds take their own first turn around the dance floor. However, this spotlight dance also can occur at other times during the festivities.

Typically the groom chooses a song with the right sentiments, but the decision also can be a joint effort. There are no right or wrong answers when it comes to song selection. However, for those who need some inspiration, certain songs are tried-and-true options.

• “How Sweet It Is,” James Taylor

• “You Raise Me Up,” Josh Groban

• “Time After Time,” Cyndi Lauper

• “Letter to My Mother,” Edwin McCain

• “Mother Like Mine,” The Band Perry

• “God Only Knows,” The Beach Boys

• “Beautiful Boy,” John Lennon

• “Wonderful Tonight,” Eric Clapton

• “The First Lady in My Life,” Paul Todd

• “Because You Loved Me,” Celine Dion

• “You’re My Best Friend,” Queen

• “Thank You Mom,” Good Charlotte

• “The Wind Beneath My Wings,” Bette Midler

• “Forever Young,” Rod Stewart

• “You’ll Be in My Heart,” Phil Collins ª

PHOTOGRAPHY
“Never Alone” by Jim Brickman and Lady Antebellum was the song Tracy Bender and her son, Zachary chose for their mother-son dance at his 2020 wedding reception. | JOSH BALDO

Time-honored wedding traditions

Weddings are special events that celebrate two individuals’ love for one another. Weddings bring together friends and family to witness couples share vows and devote their lives to each other.

Wedding guests recognize that certain components are commonplace in ceremonies and receptions. Perhaps you were once a ring bearer or caught the bouquet? There’s a rich history behind the traditions that feature prominently at many weddings. Here’s a look at traditions past and present and the meaning behind these customs.

Marriage

The custom of marriage can be traced back thousands of years to when hunters and gatherers started coming together to form societies and farm land. in order to ensure the success of communities, couplings were developed to produce offspring and maintain households.

Tie the knot

getting married is sometimes referred to as “tying the knot.” This stems from the custom of “handfasting,” which is a common practice among various cultures around the world, and notably in ancient Rome. The bride and groom’s hands are tied together for the duration of the ceremony, not to be released until the wedding is made official. This isnt something you see too often at modern weddings, but can be something unique couples may want to consider.

Bridal bouquet

A bouquet of beautiful flowers is held by the bride on her wedding day. Roses, orchids, peonies, and other fragrant blooms are often included, but in ancient times brides’ bouquets were likely made of herbs. According to the resource Minted Weddings, these aromatic herbs were used to ward off evil spirits.

Veil

evil spirits also were the basis for the wearing of bridal veils, as they were utilized to hide brides from these miscreants. Veils now are more style than substance.

Bridesmaids

in ancient Rome, bridesmaids were tasked with protecting the bride. They wore the same dresses as the bride to confuse evil spirits from finding the soon-to-be-betrothed and cursing her. Today’s bridesmaids are less decoy and more helper. They may wear similar dresses to the bride and one another, but they aren’t trying to fool any spirits.

Tossing rice

Rice and grains were long regarded as signs of prosperity and fertility, according to the gifting company Personal Creations. Therefore, couples were showered with rice to ensure their good fortune. Consumption of uncooked rice has been proven to be detrimental to some wildlife, so rice has now been widely replaced with bubbles or birdseed.

Cutting the cake

At the reception, many couples link hands and make the first cut in their wedding cakes. Wedding Wire says it’s a tradition that around 80 percent of wedding couples partake in. it is believed this tradition symbolizes the couple’s first official task performed together, and marks the promise to support and take care of one another throughout the marriage. However, in the past, brides were responsible for cutting the wedding cake alone and distributed slices to guests to aid in fertility, according to Bakingnook.com.

Weddings are full of traditions with interesting histories. ª

18 | UPsTATe Weddings MAgAZine | aUgUST 2023

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perfect wedding Eleven-step guide to the E

very couple wants their wedding to be absolutely flawless. Achieving perfection, however, requires quite a bit of organizing. Here are a few things to remember when planning your big day.

Choose the date

Make sure your closest friends and family members will be able to attend. if your sister’s pregnant or your best friend is planning a trip, choose your date strategically to avoid disappointment.

Draft the guest list

Make a list of all the people you’d like to see at your wedding. But keep your budget in mind, as more people means higher costs.

Make your reservations

it’s a good idea to book the venues for your ceremony and reception as soon as possible, especially if you’re getting married during the summer. Popular venues are often reserved up to a year in advance.

Send out invitations

The earlier you send out your save the date cards and invitations, the better. Be sure to ask invitees to RSVP. This is also a good time to designate bridesmaids and groomsmen.

Draw up a floor plan

Make sure to visit the venue as many times as you need to. if you’re planning to hire a band, display a slideshow or organize a karaoke session, confirm that the location allows it.

Decorate the venue

1 2 3 4 5 6

get in touch with your florist and decorator to discuss your ideas and ask for advice. if you’re on a tight budget, consider taking care of the decorating yourself—just make sure you start early.

Choose an MC

Who will be the master of ceremonies for the event? someone you know, or a hired pro? Also think about the music: band or dJ?

Shop for your attire

don’t forget about makeup and hair trials, and start shopping as early as possible so you can find all the best deals. Also think about how you’ll accessorize your outfit for the ceremony.

Go to the jewelers

Choose your wedding bands wisely—after all, you’ll be wearing them for the rest of your life!

Choose the menu

is your goal to please as many people as possible or to step off the beaten path? do you need to plan vegetarian options or kid-friendly snacks? determine what type of meal will be served at your wedding, and don’t forget drinks and desserts.

Immortalize the day

7 8 9 10 11

Photobooths and disposable cameras are great for capturing candid memories, but you’ll probably want to have a professional wedding photographer on location as well.

Lucky for you, your loved ones will be in charge of planning the bachelor and bachelorette parties. Make sure they know what you like! ª

20 | UPsTATe Weddings MAgAZine | aUgUST 2023

your vows

Have you ever thought about reliving the magic of the wedding ritual with your loved one? in intimate surroundings or in full pomp and circumstance, such a ceremony is more romantic than formal.

The renewing of vows is the renewing of the commitment between two spouses, a reaffirmation of their deeply held love for each other. But it is also an occasion to throw a party and share your happiness with your loved ones. The reception after the ceremony will be warm and friendly, as there will likely be fewer guests than on your wedding day.

ven though some couples don’t choose a significant date for renewing their vows, many seasoned lovebirds opt to do it on a wedding anniversary. in fact, did you know that every wedding anniversary corresponds to a natural element? According to tradition, the groom should offer his wife a gift made from the appropriate material. it is said that this will bring happiness to the couple. ª

Renewing your vows is a beautiful way to reaffirm your love despite all the years that have gone by.

1st anniversary: paper

2nd anniversary: cotton

5th anniversary: wood

10th anniversary: tin

15th anniversary: crystal

20th anniversary: china

25th anniversary: silver

30th anniversary: pearl

35th anniversary: coral

40th anniversary: ruby

45th anniversary: sapphire

50th anniversary: gold

55th anniversary: emerald

60th anniversary: diamond

65th anniversary: blue sapphire

70th anniversary: platinum

75th anniversary: diamond and gold

80th anniversary: oak

The most popular honeymooN destinations

22 | UPsTATe Weddings MAgAZine | aUgUST 2023

ouples have different ideas regarding what makes a great honeymoon destination. some couples may want to spend their trips with toes in the sand as they relax on a secluded beach, while others might want to traverse rapids in a tandem kayak. There’s simply no rules when it comes to choosing a honeymoon destination other than picking a place each person will enjoy. With that in mind, couples looking for inspiration can consider the 10 most popular honeymoon locales as determined by a recent survey from expedia.com.

1. United Kingdom: This might come as a surprise, but the most common honeymoon destination in 2022 was actually multiple destinations across the United Kingdom. A multi-city train trip through various parts of england and scotland was the most popular honeymoon trip in 2022.

2. Dubai, United Arab Emirates: Honeymooners looking for something upscale can consider dubai, which combines sun and sand with unrivaled luxury.

3. Paris, France: Little needs to be said about this european city considered one of the most romantic locales in the world.

4. Florida: Pristine beaches, awe-inspiring sunsets and seemingly endless sun and warmth made Florida the fourth most popular honeymoon destination in 2022.

5. Los Angeles: Los Angeles truly has it all, with sun-soaked beaches, world-renowned restaurants and, of course, Hollywood.

6. madrid to Seville, Spain: Couples who want to make multiple stops can consider this popular option, which takes visitors from spain’s capital and most populous city to one of its most historic and unique destinations.

7. rome, naples and Amalfi coast, Italy: A tour of three of italy’s most wondrous locales needs no introduction, which is undoubtedly why these three places were a must-visit for many honeymooning couples in 2022.

8. St. Lucia: An idyllic island country in the eastern Caribbean, st. Lucia was recently named as one of the best places to visit in 2023 by Tripadvisor.

9. Iceland: iceland has experienced a tourism boom in recent years as more and more people have discovered the unique beauty and extraordinary culture of this island nation in the north Atlantic.

10. The maldives: An archipelagic state in south Asia, The Maldives has the lowest elevation of any country in the world, which means its temperatures are always hot and humid, making this an ideal stop for honeymooners who can’t wait to relax on a sunny, idyllic beach. ª

Honeymoon planning pointers

Planning a wedding is a tall task, so it’s no wonder why so many couples look forward to their honeymoons. After months of planning and then saying “i do” in front of family and friends, couples have earned a little R&R.

With so much already on engaged couples’ plates, it’s easy to overlook honeymoon planning. But finding time to plan a honeymoon can ensure the trip is one couples will cherish for the rest of their lives. The following planning pointers can help the trip go smoothly.

• Pick a passport-friendly destination. When it comes to honeymoons, couples’ options run the gamut from domestic locales to faraway destinations on the other side of the world. That suggests couples can pick anywhere within their budgets and simply book a trip. However, that’s not necessarily true. According to the U.s. state department, many countries require that travelers have six months of validity remaining on their passports before they will issue a visa permitting them to enter. so couples should look at their passports to determine how long it is until the document expires. if the document expires within six months of their passport expiring, couples may not be able to enter the country they hope to visit. in such instances, couples should ensure they leave enough time to renew and receive their passports.

• Utilize a travel agency. Contrary to popular belief, travel agencies are still around and remain useful resources, especially for travelers visiting a destination for the first time. Many honeymooners fit that bill, so they can benefit much from working with a travel agency. Couples tasked with planning a wedding already have a lot on their plate, so letting a travel agency take care of the honeymoon planning can ensure a memorable trip without requiring couples to do any legwork.

• Purchase travel insurance. The need for travel insurance has never been more apparent than in the last few years. since the pandemic began, air travel has been a somewhat risky proposition. According to Flightaware, the first six months of 2022 featured more domestic flight cancellations in the United states than the entire 2021 calendar year combined. international travel could prove an even riskier proposition. Though the potential for cancellation should not deter couples from traveling by air for their honeymoons, the sheer volume of cancellations underscores the importance of purchasing travel insurance. Before purchasing a travel insurance policy, couples are urged to read it in its entirety to ensure it provides the protection they’re seeking.

• Plan early. With so much other work to do involving a wedding, couples can be excused for putting a honeymoon on the back-burner. But planning early can make the trip much more enjoyable. The benefits to planning early include more flights to choose room, a wider selection of rooms/lodging options at your destination, and more time to budget for the trip.

Honeymoon planning can be made simpler with a few simple strategies that also can ensure couples enjoy the trip of their dreams. ª

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