2 SEX EDITION
THE DAILY
Cupids of Valentine’s past
100 years of love
By Madelaine VanDerHeyden The Daily
The way The Daily has covered Valentine’s Day has been very different over the paper’s 125-year history. I went back and looked at Valentine’s editions from each decade for the past 100 years — here’s a peek at Valentine’s past.
1937 It looks like Galentine’s Day was already a hit back in 1937. At Sigma Kappa sorority, women gathered for tea, readings, and skits. Leslie Knope would be proud.
1917 A hundred years ago, getting a date with a college girl wasn’t as easy as swiping right.
1997
For more scans from other years visit http://bit. ly/2k18QAk
ALLERGIC PEOPLE Needed NOW
The UW got a visit from Condom Man back in 1997, who, “complete with a reservoir tip,” passed out free rubbers around campus. Rumor has it he can sometimes be seen in the Padelford garage, offering condoms to anyone in need.
2007
Are You From or Travelled to Japan? Suffer with Allergies in the Spring? (Tree Pollens) Willing to Donate Plasma for Research?
Earn
$185
each donation
www.plasmalab.com (425) 258-3653 328 Norton Ave. Norton 3128 Everett, WA Ave. 98201 Everett, WA 98201
We’re going to let 2007 speak for itself. Reach Wellness Editor Madelaine VanDerHeyden at specials@dailyuw.com. Twitter: @mbvdh_uw
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Photo Editor Aurora San Miguel photo@dailyuw.com
Campus Advertising campus@dailyuw.com
Copy Chiefs Angelina Caplanis, Molly Quinton copy@dailyuw.com
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Design Editor Caroline Suttie design@dailyuw.com Cover Design Abe Poultridge Publisher Diana Kramer dianakramer@dailyuw.com
SEX EDITION
THE DAILY
MEANT FOR MORE bringing LOVE back to the sexual encounter
“A person's rightful due is to be treated as an object of love, not as an object for use.” St. John Paul II, Love and Responsibility
ABSTINENCE VS. CHASTITY
"It is not weakness to desire love. The weakness is when we settle for less than love." - Crystalina Evert
"Only the chaste man and the chaste woman are capable of true love." - St. John Paul II "Christ has assigned as a duty to every man the dignity of every woman." - St. John Paul II
"A man who governs his passions is a master of the world. We must either command them, or be enslaved by them. It is better to be a hammer than an anvil." -St. Dominic
"Chastity isn't about following a bunch of rules so you don't go to hell. It's about wanting heaven for the person you love." -Jason Evert
MORE RESOURCES:
Love & Responsibility | www.catholicculture.com Catholic Answers | www.catholic.com Sex & Marriage | christopherwest.com Free Resources | www.catholicity.com
LENTEN ACTIVITIES*
*ALL EVENTS TAKE PLACE AT THE NEWMAN CENTER UNLESS OTHERWISE NOTED
3
4 SEX EDITION
THE DAILY
You want me to send you what? A college student’s guide to Tinder By Emma Bueren The Daily
sequence of bathroom selfies.
It was two years ago in a shoe store that my mother saw me check my Tinder messages and asked in a horrified whisper: “Are you using that sex app?” “It’s a dating app, Mom, jeez,” I responded. “And I was just curious, I’d never actually meet anyone … but also, is the picture of me cute or do I look dumb in it?” I’ll be franker with you then I was with my mother: Tinder is whatever you want it to be, so if you’re looking for casual sex, it’s probably just several swipes away. But, based on my own experience, it’s also a great way to meet new people, exchange movie recommendations, and maybe find a significant other if the stars — and swipes — align. So if you’re wondering what all the fuss is about, or can’t seem to get even a spark going with Tinder, here’s some tips on how to give it your best hustle.
Don’t: Don’t be afraid of comedy or looking silly in some of your pictures. Don’t post pictures of yourself where you’re partially nude or posing overtly sexually. Even if you are looking for something casual, an abruptly risqué photo comes off way too strong.
Picture this
Don’t: Use tired profile “memes” like fake ratings. It only gets a chuckle if you’re the first person to do it, and trust me, you’re not. Whatever you do, don’t leave your bio completely blank. It leaves your matches with nothing except your photos to go on, and a guessing game isn’t fun for anyone.
Look, there’s no denying that Tinder is superficial; it’s essentially a 2017 version of “Hot or Not.” That being said, having a good set of profile pictures is more than just looking attractive. Do: Your first picture should always be a picture that clearly identifies who you are. There is nothing more confusing than a huge group photo. Select photos that can yield a conversation, not just a
TL;DR: Too long; didn’t read.
The hardest part of Tinder, even harder than choosing your photos, is writing your bio. Remember that Tinder is basically online speed dating and your bio is your first impression. Do: Keep it short. A wall of text can be overwhelming. Give potential matches some conversation starters. Asking for film or book recommendations is a classic go-to, but you don’t have to stop there.
Pillow talk
You’ve done it! You’ve gotten a match, but now what? Sending that first message can be scary,
but remember they swiped right on you too.
Do: Flip through their pictures and read the bio of your match again, and see if you can think of any jokes or questions. Start a conversation with more than just a generic “what’s up?” Ignore the gender binary of Tinder. Anyone can message first, so ladies, don’t be shy! Be kind. It should go without saying, but another person is on the other side of your phone screen. Don’t: Never message someone non-stop if they don’t reply. They may have swiped right, but if they seem uninterested after two attempts to initiate contact, move on. If your match isn’t into it, don’t keep trying to steer the conversation into something sexual. Don’t ask for nudes and for the love of god, don’t send unprompted nudes of yourself. Don’t feel obligated to reply to every conversation, or even continue one that’s already started. If you’re losing interest in the person, then move on to the next. Alternatively, don’t be too bummed if someone stops replying. It’s a harsh reality, but on Tinder people come and go.
Face-to-face time
So the conversation is going well and it’s time to take it to the next level: meeting in person. Do: Ask to meet in a public place. Safety first.
Andrew Estey The Daily Suggest a specific activity like grabbing coffee or going to a museum.
and be upfront with them that you’re not interested in pursuing something further.
Don’t: If someone asks you to meet and you don’t want to, remember you don’t owe them anything. Never meet someone who makes you uncomfortable. Don’t expect someone to pay your way. It’s the 21st century; go Dutch and split the bill.
Don’t: Don’t make up excuses. Try not to be discouraged if someone ghosts you. It happens to everyone on Tinder eventually.
Ghosting (as in, don’t)
Look, I’ll be honest here, I’m guilty of this crime (if you’re out there, sorry man). It’s easy to avoid confrontation and simply recede back into the internet, but it’s also mean. The only time ghosting is OK is if your match is making you uncomfortable and you want to completely cut ties with them. Do: Treat your match with respect
Hate the game, not the player
As you’re swiping through Tinder, remember that it’s just as ridiculous as it first sounds. Don’t stress too much, and remember that nothing on this guide is better than listening to your gut instinct. Don’t take the app too seriously. Have a little (or a lot of ) fun and get swiping. Reach Science Editor Emma Bueren at specials@dailyuw.com. Twitter: @EmBueren
Sex shops on Capitol Hill: Which one is right for you?
Aurora San Miguel The Daily Longstanding business Doghouse Leathers, specializes in men’s kink, crafting their leather goods in store. By Rebecca Gross The Daily Sex shops: There are few spaces more taboo. Parents might feel inclined to cover their children’s eyes as they walk by these shops, and most stores are filled with content traditionally considered worthy of those aged 18 and up. In reality, the unmentionable “sex shop” has been stigmatized to a point where people fail to understand that sex shops have a lot more to offer than just porn videos and raunchy toys. Each store is different, and they have the potential to do a lot more for people than some might imagine. If you’ve never felt uncomfortable entering a sex shop, but have the urge to do so this Valentine’s Day — with or without a partner — here’s a
list of nearby sex shops that provide a niche for every body. Babeland, 707 East Pike St.: Babeland, originally opened in 1993, was created with the intention to provide women with a sex shop specifically for them. The goal was not just to create a sex shop with woman-friendly toys, but to also create a shop that would hire personnel who could inform female consumers about the toys they were buying and how this could help them in their sex lives. When I walked into Babeland, I immediately felt comfortable. There was no barrier between me and the people working at the store, who were incredibly inviting and asked me if there was anything I had questions about or needed assistance. Although I didn’t need help
finding anything specific, I was given a tour of the store and the products they sell. I was impressed by the different price points throughout the store, making it accommodating for people of all economic backgrounds to buy products there. And on top of this, the range of products was extensive. Everything from medicalgrade sex toys — including vibrators and dildos — to a BDSM section, an erotica section, and a condom and lubrication section was represented in the little store on Capitol Hill. While there are a few toys targeted to male clientele, the majority of the store was female-centric. One of their most popular sections is the bachelorette section full of fun gag-gifts. The most unique section of the store is their gender expression section, which caters to people transitioning from female to male. This store is great if you’re a woman and you’re looking for a sex shop with knowledgeable sales associates to help you discover which products will be right for you, your body, and your individual experience. Castle Megastore, 1017 East Pike St.: Unlike Babeland, Castle Megastore is the more “classic” type of sex shop people tend to imagine. While Babeland specializes in sex toys for women, this store doesn’t seem to specialize in pleasing one sex or gender.
Instead, this megastore has the whole ballpark of sex objects: sexual clothing, DVDs, and specialty niche products (i.e. chastity cages). Some of the products overlapped with those in Babeland: There were plenty of vibrators, dildos, and other sex toys, in addition to the specialty fetish objects they carried. The personnel there were very kind, but I didn’t necessarily get the sense they were trying to find an object that was best for my body and my sexual experiences the way I did in Babeland. Although I didn’t feel this store was the best for me, I do think this store is the place to go if you’re in search of having a fun experience. You could get lost in this store’s inventory between all of the quirky, kinky, and novelty objects without even slipping into the store’s more serious sex toys — unless, of course, you want to. Doghouse Leathers, 1312 East Pike St.: While, again, Doghouse Leathers was not the one for me, it was by far the most interesting sex shop I attended. The shop opened specifically to provide leather products for the gay male community. It still maintains this reputation, but since opening about 10 years ago it has expanded its clientele base, as well as the range of products carried. The shop’s supply was starkly different than the
other shops on Cap Hill, and it seemed to mainly focus on clothing in a way the other sex shops had not. Much of the leather clothing sold at Doghouse — shirts and vests, pants and chaps, straps and harnesses, and puppy play masks — are actually made right in-store. The other clothes, while not made in-store, are often locally sourced, including some of the high quality fetish products like floggers and ropes. Unique among the other sex shops on the Hill, Doghouse Leathers carries extra-large dildos for size queens. So get yourself out of your doghouse and check out Doghouse Leathers if you’re at all curious about the products you might find here. The owners of the store as well as the employees there are not only incredibly friendly, but are also willing to give tours and help you find what it is you want out of your Doghouse experience. Whichever store is your preference, help break the taboo associated with entering a sex shop and check one out for yourself. You might be surprised at how empowering and liberating it can feel, especially if you find the right one for you. Reach Opinion Editor Rebecca Gross at specials@dailyuw.com. Twitter: @becsgross
SEX EDITION
THE DAILY
5
None are recommended for viewing with parents By Makayla Kinsella The Daily From the wildly unrealistic to the awkwardly accurate, sex scenes are a staple of film. Most of us have probably seen at least one movie with an innocent makeout scene that faded to black, leaving us wanting something a little more risque. We’ve all probably also been watching a movie with a parent or friend with an unexpectedly graphic sex scene that made us want to bolt out the door. As is true in real life, sex in movies can be really good or really bad. If you enjoy a good sex scene, or just want to steer clear of anything cringe-worthy, here are our lists of the top five best and worst sex scenes in movies. Have fun deciding whether you should enjoy or avoid. 1. “Ghost,” Demi Moore and Patrick Swayze — There are many romantic movies with many iconic scenes, but this movie boasts one of the most well-known and most sensual of them all. There are few things sexier than early-1990s Swayze and Moore doing pottery together as “Unchained Melody” by The Righteous Brothers plays in the background. 2. “Deadpool” Ryan Reynolds and Morena Baccarin — For a movie that is brutally honest and unapologetic in its humor, audiences can expect nothing less from its sex scene. Instead of just a romance montage, “Deadpool” gives viewers a fun sex montage full of good times and mishaps that portrays sex in a realistic and amusing way. 3. “The Lucky One,” Taylor Schilling and Zac Efron — Moving on from his days singing through the hallways of high school, Efron is impressively hot in this sex scene, emblematic of such scenes found in Nicholas Sparks adaptations. “The Notebook” may be a better known Sparks sex scene, but this one is hotter. 4. “Brokeback Mountain,” Heath Ledger and Jake Gyllenhaal — Just as Jack can’t quit Ennis, I can’t quit loving this movie. The sex scenes in this film are powerful and much more emotionally intense than anything you’d find in a cookie-cutter romantic comedy. 5. “The Black Swan,” Natalie Portman and Mila Kunis — This film got a lot of attention for a lot of different reasons, and is fantastic
for more than just its sex scene, but it was almost impossible to hear about this movie without also hearing about this particular aspect of Portman and Kunis’ performances. It is intense, but it’s also very good. 1. “Twilight: Breaking Dawn part 1,” Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart — Some people may think a broken headboard is sexy, but with the terrible visual effects combined with the abusive undertones of Edward and Bella’s story, this sexy scene was a flop. Although I wouldn’t have expected anything better from this franchise. 2. “Bridesmaids,” Kristen Wiig and Jon Hamm — Although I would argue the camerawork and editing for this sex scene are spot on, what makes it terrible is that it portrays really terrible sex. It’s the kind of scene that makes you laugh half out of humor, half out of discomfort, and makes you think, “God, I hope that’s never me.” 3. “Blue is the Warmest Color,” Adèle Exarchopoulos and Léa Seydoux — I may not be able to speak from personal experience, but every time this movie is brought up amongst friends, at least one person firmly asserts, “scissoring never works.” 4. “Friday the 13th,” Kevin Bacon and Jeannine Taylor — It would be a disservice not to give mention to a single horror movie sex scene. Not only are these scenes awkward to begin with — this one especially — but the participants are sealing their unfortunate fates by having sex during a horror movie. This scene also has a bloody ending in the worst kind of way. 5. “Top Gun,” Tom Cruise and Kelly McGillis — Although “Take My Breath Away” by Berlin is a fantastic romance ballad for this scene, everything plays out in a slow, almost awkward way. This alone wouldn’t put it in the top five, but the image of Cruise slowly dipping his tongue into McGillis’ mouth several times is enough to make me avert my gaze.
Courtesy photo
Reach writer Makayla Kinsella at specials@dailyuw.com. Twitter: @mmkin73
Courtesy photo
The 13th Sign: Sexy Horoscopes 2 Secrets from the science of Asstrology By Alex Bruell The Daily Much as Hymen, the God of Marriage, arrived at the end of Shakespeare’s “As You Like It” to officiate the main cast’s marriage himself, so have I returned from my deep meditations and star gazing to once again share portents of love and lust with you, readers of the The Daily. Cover your bed in roses and chocolate, light some scented candles, and see what the future has in store for you… Aries: Falling in love can make you do crazy and new things, Aries. For you specifically, it’ll mostly be showering and actually making your bed. Taurus: Introducing food in foreplay can be a fun way to rev up your sex life, Taurus. Spice things up in the bedroom with the spiciest food of all: the California Reaper Pepper! Pop one of those bad boys in your mouth before kissing your partner and you’ll both have the most memorable sex of your lives. Gemini: Your rather unique kink, which is literally just being kink-shamed, will likely confuse your partners. But you’ll be vindicated when the sex androids try to overthrow
humanity and can only be defeated by sexual paradoxes. Cancer: Your legendary bedroom exploits will finally be honored this year, Cancer, as you are crowned “Sex Lord / Lady.” You’ll be expected to spend your days collecting taxes from your hot, sensual vassals, and overseeing the shipments of lustful iron and steel to neighboring lands. Leo: Look, Leo, this is an intervention. “Head, shoulders, knees and toes, eyes and ears and mouth and nose” is a children’s song, not a guide to applying cologne. You have a problem. Virgo: Treat yourself by visiting a sex toy shop, Virgo. Something low key and discreet, like the “DEVASTATOR TRI-MOTOR 12-SPEED PLEASURE CANNON WITH GASOLINE ENGINE INCLUDED” is perfect for a bit of harmless self-exploration. Libra: There is a difference between “making love” and “having sex,” Libra, but neither of them involve Beanie Babies as much as you seem to think they do. Scorpio: After a series of unsatisfying hookups, you’ll
soon realize that the secret to sexual satisfaction was in your hands all along. Sagittarius: You’re strong, fiercely independent, and being single is great, Sagittarius: You’ve got no one tying you down. And you’ll immediately forget all of that when a moderately attractive person says something nice to you in passing! Capricorn: Having trouble getting a date in your dayto-day life? Try a dating app! It’s great way to experience the same crushing feelings of loneliness and self-doubt, plus you’ll get people hurling profanities and threats when you politely let them down. Aquarius: After years of perfecting your sexual skills, your body is now ready to ascend to a higher level of love making. Your old genitals will soon wilt and fall off, to be replaced by a new set of ultragenitals; they’ll be stronger, glow-in-the-dark, wi-fi capable, nuclear-powered, and sentient. Pisces: You’ll have the best sexual experience of your life soon, Pisces! After having an orgasm so powerful it blasts your soul into the astral plane, you’ll have to enter a three-year long vision quest to confront
Marisa Iliakis The Daily ancient dream-weaving mist dragons and the ghosts of your ancestors before returning to your physical body.
Reach Horoscopes Editor Alex Bruell at specials@dailyuw.com. Twitter: @BruellAlex
6 SEX EDITION
THE DAILY
Take control of your sex life
SEX EDITION
THE DAILY
The thrill of the pill
Give it a shot
Uncomplicated, simple, and incredibly effective
By Alexis Mansanarez The Daily No pill to take every day? Check. No period? Check. Finding time every three months to see a nurse? Doable. When a coworker first told me about the Depo-Provera shot many years ago, it seemed like a no brainer, and I have yet to regret my decision. I can’t say that I have used every form of birth control, because obviously I have not. But I can tell you that at times, I would forget my head if it wasn’t attached to me, so remembering to take a pill every day at the same time wasn’t feasible. I have had to suck up my fear of shots four times a year, but the benefits have far outweighed the two seconds of pain when the nurse pricks me. The very first time I received the Depo injection, I chose to get it in my arm. The nurse let me know you can either get the shot in your arm, which we of course are used to if we have ever gotten a vaccine or shot as a child, or your lower back. After my first injection, I couldn’t lift my arm for two days, which was a problem. From then on, I have opted to get the injection in my lower back, alternating between my left and right side every three months. The nurse visit takes no more than five minutes, and I often walk into Hall Health during the nurses’ working hours, have a quick chat, get the injection, and find out when I should come back in for my next shot. One of the most convenient things about Depo, besides not spending money on feminine hygiene, is the window of time I am able to get the injection. From classes to The Daily, my schedule can easily fill up, so there have been times where I have missed my “window,” which is a week before and a week
By Molly Quinton The Daily
after the three-month mark. But have no fear: If you happen to miss your due date you are still able to get your injection, but only after you take a quick pregnancy test, as the shot can potentially harm a fetus. And of course, as with all birth control, it is important to know the risks, and when one of the risks is
The pill is one of the most common types of birth control, and for good reason: It is effective and easy to use. Although one of the most common reasons for being on birth control is for pregnancy prevention, one study showed that nearly half of women take it for other reasons. It can make your period more regular and lighter, help with menstrual migraines, lower risks of some cancers, and treat hormonal
loss of bone density, the ways to combat that are pretty easy: Hit the gym instead of binge-watching Netflix. Reach Sports Editor Alexis Mansanarez at specials@dailyuw.com. Twitter: @almansanarez
The IUD for me
acne, among other benefits. There are two types of the pill: combination, which contains both estrogen and progestin, and the progestin-only pill. The progestinonly pill thickens the cervical mucus and the endometrium, preventing the sperm from joining the egg, while the combination pill also suppresses ovulation. Medical history is one of the most important things to consider when deciding what type of the pill is right
Reach Copy Chief Molly Quinton at specials@dailyuw.com. Twitter: @molly_quinton
My experience with the birth control implant
Illustrations by Sam Sturtevant The Daily
Birth Control Guide Here we share four writers’ experiences with just a few of the available methods of birth control. There are many facts and figures that go into choosing a birth control method, more than can be adequately presented here. Inform yourself and talk with your doctor about which is best for you. All data is from PlannedParenthood.org.
The pill:
have been more frequent than usual, but I already get pretty bad ones on my period and no pain has been any worse than what I have felt before. Adjusting to the IUD has, so far, been easier than adjusting to the pill was for me. Starting any new method of birth control can bring some inconvenience and discomfort, but nothing I’ve experienced has outweighed the benefits of the IUD. I know that IUDs are not for
for you. A history of migraines and high blood pressure are among some of the factors taken into consideration when deciding which pill to take. I started taking the pill when I was 14 for two reasons: regulating my cycle and helping with hormonal migraines. I’ve dealt with chronic migraines since I was 12, and they always got considerably worse when I was on my period. My period was also long, irregular, unpredictable, and I had intense cramping that lasted for at least a week every month. My doctor recommended that I try the pill to help alleviate my symptoms and lessen my migraines. Because I have migraines without aura, this means I was eligible to take the combination pill rather than the progestin-only pill. Some of the most common side effects when taking hormonal birth control are mood swings and depression. With the first pill I tried, I noticed the effect on my mood almost immediately. I switched a couple more times and tried a variety of combination pills, and each one affected my mood to an extent where I decided that it wasn’t worth it. Over the years, my period became more predictable but the cramping never let up, so when I got to college, I decided to try the pill again. I am currently taking a combination pill and have been on this particular medication for the past two years with no side effects. It definitely took a while, but I finally found a birth control method that works for me.
Getting armed
By Makayla Kinsella The Daily I believe in transparency when it comes to discussing important information like birth control, so before I talk about why I already love my intrauterine device (IUD), here are a few disclaimers. The first, and most obvious, is that I am not a doctor. I think there are a lot of people giving out advice online as if they have medical training, and I don’t endorse this; I am just a woman sharing her personal experience. The second is that I was on the pill for seven years to help manage migraines that got worse around my period. It wasn’t the best experience and turned me off the idea of hormonal birth control. I was also terrible about taking it at the same time everyday, which wasn’t a problem then because I was only using it for migraines, but going forward I knew I needed birth control that required less accountability on my part. Getting my IUD inserted wasn’t a terrible experience. It took about 10 minutes with the doctor and only about 30 seconds were distinctly uncomfortable or painful for me. I have an awesome doctor that talked me through the experience before she started, and I think that definitely helped at least calm my nerves. While getting an IUD is not something I’d like to experience every day, it was worth it for five years of stress-free birth control. I had my IUD inserted about a month ago and everything has gone exactly how my doctor said it would. I had some bleeding on the day it was inserted and have had minor spotting on and off since, but I have yet to ruin a single pair of underwear. My cramps
7
everyone and that having something inserted into your uterus to stay there for years can seem terrifying, but knowing that it’s there as birth control for so long is a huge comfort, and, in my opinion, worth the small amount of discomfort. Reach writer Makayla Kinsella at specials@dailyuw.com. Twitter: @mmkin73
Perfect use: 99% effective Typical use: 91% effective Frequency: Daily Cost estimate: $0-50 every month Side effects include: Changes in libido, bleeding between periods, nausea Subtypes: Combination, progestin-only
Depo-Provera: Perfect use: 99% effective Typical use: 94% effective
Frequency: Every three months Cost estimate: $0-100 per injection Side effects include: Nausea, weight gain, headaches, breast soreness
IUD: Perfect use: >99% Typical use: N/A Frequency: Can last up to 12 years Cost estimate: $0-1,000 Side effects include: Moderate pain from insertion, irregular periods Subtypes: Hormonal, copper
Implant: Perfect use: 99% Typical use: N/A Frequency: Can last up to 4 years Cost estimate: $0-100 Side effects include: Irregular bleeding, headaches, breast pain, nausea
By Susana Machado The Daily I’ve had Nexplanon, the birth control implant, for eight months now and my experience has been wonderful. Like most women on the implant, I don’t get my period at all anymore. Even though my period made me feel really connected to my body, it’s very convenient to not have to worry about it and I definitely don’t miss my breasts being sore for a week every month.
I was originally hesitant about getting hormonal birth control because I didn’t want to manipulate my cycle and had heard some people have really bad reactions to it. My original choice was the copper IUD, one of the few forms of non-hormonal birth control. After consulting my OB-GYN, I changed my decision. She made it clear to me that the copper IUD was painful to insert for people who had not experienced childbirth and would
likely make my period flow much heavier. After deciding I wanted the implant, I made an appointment at the Planned Parenthood here in the U-District to get it inserted. The staff was friendly, welcoming, and I did not feel judged at all. After a urine test to ensure I was not pregnant, the implant was inserted in my left arm (because I’m right-handed). They had me lay on my side with my head turned away from my arm, so I would not see what they were doing. I think this was done to prevent me from getting queasy, as the insertion does involve needles. They first numbed the area using a needle, which was about the same pain-level as getting a shot. When they inserted the implant, I only felt slight pressure in my arm, but no pain. The procedure was super quick, and they dressed my arm with a pressure bandage after. I was told to keep the bandage on for 24 hours and not do any workouts involving my arms for the following week. When I was able to take the bandage off, my arm was bruised, but it healed pretty quickly. The implant becomes effective one week after insertion and lasts for three years. I didn’t notice any severe side-effects, though I did notice a slight change in my sex drive. Before, there were obvious points in my cycle during which I desired sex more. Once I got the implant, this stopped happening. However, this didn’t impact my sex life that much, and was a minimal price to pay for no period and a sense of security. Reach News Editor Susana Machado at news@dailyuw.com. Twitter: @smacha1995
6 SEX EDITION
THE DAILY
Take control of your sex life
SEX EDITION
THE DAILY
The thrill of the pill
Give it a shot
Uncomplicated, simple, and incredibly effective
By Alexis Mansanarez The Daily No pill to take every day? Check. No period? Check. Finding time every three months to see a nurse? Doable. When a coworker first told me about the Depo-Provera shot many years ago, it seemed like a no brainer, and I have yet to regret my decision. I can’t say that I have used every form of birth control, because obviously I have not. But I can tell you that at times, I would forget my head if it wasn’t attached to me, so remembering to take a pill every day at the same time wasn’t feasible. I have had to suck up my fear of shots four times a year, but the benefits have far outweighed the two seconds of pain when the nurse pricks me. The very first time I received the Depo injection, I chose to get it in my arm. The nurse let me know you can either get the shot in your arm, which we of course are used to if we have ever gotten a vaccine or shot as a child, or your lower back. After my first injection, I couldn’t lift my arm for two days, which was a problem. From then on, I have opted to get the injection in my lower back, alternating between my left and right side every three months. The nurse visit takes no more than five minutes, and I often walk into Hall Health during the nurses’ working hours, have a quick chat, get the injection, and find out when I should come back in for my next shot. One of the most convenient things about Depo, besides not spending money on feminine hygiene, is the window of time I am able to get the injection. From classes to The Daily, my schedule can easily fill up, so there have been times where I have missed my “window,” which is a week before and a week
By Molly Quinton The Daily
after the three-month mark. But have no fear: If you happen to miss your due date you are still able to get your injection, but only after you take a quick pregnancy test, as the shot can potentially harm a fetus. And of course, as with all birth control, it is important to know the risks, and when one of the risks is
The pill is one of the most common types of birth control, and for good reason: It is effective and easy to use. Although one of the most common reasons for being on birth control is for pregnancy prevention, one study showed that nearly half of women take it for other reasons. It can make your period more regular and lighter, help with menstrual migraines, lower risks of some cancers, and treat hormonal
loss of bone density, the ways to combat that are pretty easy: Hit the gym instead of binge-watching Netflix. Reach Sports Editor Alexis Mansanarez at specials@dailyuw.com. Twitter: @almansanarez
The IUD for me
acne, among other benefits. There are two types of the pill: combination, which contains both estrogen and progestin, and the progestin-only pill. The progestinonly pill thickens the cervical mucus and the endometrium, preventing the sperm from joining the egg, while the combination pill also suppresses ovulation. Medical history is one of the most important things to consider when deciding what type of the pill is right
Reach Copy Chief Molly Quinton at specials@dailyuw.com. Twitter: @molly_quinton
My experience with the birth control implant
Illustrations by Sam Sturtevant The Daily
Birth Control Guide Here we share four writers’ experiences with just a few of the available methods of birth control. There are many facts and figures that go into choosing a birth control method, more than can be adequately presented here. Inform yourself and talk with your doctor about which is best for you. All data is from PlannedParenthood.org.
The pill:
have been more frequent than usual, but I already get pretty bad ones on my period and no pain has been any worse than what I have felt before. Adjusting to the IUD has, so far, been easier than adjusting to the pill was for me. Starting any new method of birth control can bring some inconvenience and discomfort, but nothing I’ve experienced has outweighed the benefits of the IUD. I know that IUDs are not for
for you. A history of migraines and high blood pressure are among some of the factors taken into consideration when deciding which pill to take. I started taking the pill when I was 14 for two reasons: regulating my cycle and helping with hormonal migraines. I’ve dealt with chronic migraines since I was 12, and they always got considerably worse when I was on my period. My period was also long, irregular, unpredictable, and I had intense cramping that lasted for at least a week every month. My doctor recommended that I try the pill to help alleviate my symptoms and lessen my migraines. Because I have migraines without aura, this means I was eligible to take the combination pill rather than the progestin-only pill. Some of the most common side effects when taking hormonal birth control are mood swings and depression. With the first pill I tried, I noticed the effect on my mood almost immediately. I switched a couple more times and tried a variety of combination pills, and each one affected my mood to an extent where I decided that it wasn’t worth it. Over the years, my period became more predictable but the cramping never let up, so when I got to college, I decided to try the pill again. I am currently taking a combination pill and have been on this particular medication for the past two years with no side effects. It definitely took a while, but I finally found a birth control method that works for me.
Getting armed
By Makayla Kinsella The Daily I believe in transparency when it comes to discussing important information like birth control, so before I talk about why I already love my intrauterine device (IUD), here are a few disclaimers. The first, and most obvious, is that I am not a doctor. I think there are a lot of people giving out advice online as if they have medical training, and I don’t endorse this; I am just a woman sharing her personal experience. The second is that I was on the pill for seven years to help manage migraines that got worse around my period. It wasn’t the best experience and turned me off the idea of hormonal birth control. I was also terrible about taking it at the same time everyday, which wasn’t a problem then because I was only using it for migraines, but going forward I knew I needed birth control that required less accountability on my part. Getting my IUD inserted wasn’t a terrible experience. It took about 10 minutes with the doctor and only about 30 seconds were distinctly uncomfortable or painful for me. I have an awesome doctor that talked me through the experience before she started, and I think that definitely helped at least calm my nerves. While getting an IUD is not something I’d like to experience every day, it was worth it for five years of stress-free birth control. I had my IUD inserted about a month ago and everything has gone exactly how my doctor said it would. I had some bleeding on the day it was inserted and have had minor spotting on and off since, but I have yet to ruin a single pair of underwear. My cramps
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everyone and that having something inserted into your uterus to stay there for years can seem terrifying, but knowing that it’s there as birth control for so long is a huge comfort, and, in my opinion, worth the small amount of discomfort. Reach writer Makayla Kinsella at specials@dailyuw.com. Twitter: @mmkin73
Perfect use: 99% effective Typical use: 91% effective Frequency: Daily Cost estimate: $0-50 every month Side effects include: Changes in libido, bleeding between periods, nausea Subtypes: Combination, progestin-only
Depo-Provera: Perfect use: 99% effective Typical use: 94% effective
Frequency: Every three months Cost estimate: $0-100 per injection Side effects include: Nausea, weight gain, headaches, breast soreness
IUD: Perfect use: >99% Typical use: N/A Frequency: Can last up to 12 years Cost estimate: $0-1,000 Side effects include: Moderate pain from insertion, irregular periods Subtypes: Hormonal, copper
Implant: Perfect use: 99% Typical use: N/A Frequency: Can last up to 4 years Cost estimate: $0-100 Side effects include: Irregular bleeding, headaches, breast pain, nausea
By Susana Machado The Daily I’ve had Nexplanon, the birth control implant, for eight months now and my experience has been wonderful. Like most women on the implant, I don’t get my period at all anymore. Even though my period made me feel really connected to my body, it’s very convenient to not have to worry about it and I definitely don’t miss my breasts being sore for a week every month.
I was originally hesitant about getting hormonal birth control because I didn’t want to manipulate my cycle and had heard some people have really bad reactions to it. My original choice was the copper IUD, one of the few forms of non-hormonal birth control. After consulting my OB-GYN, I changed my decision. She made it clear to me that the copper IUD was painful to insert for people who had not experienced childbirth and would
likely make my period flow much heavier. After deciding I wanted the implant, I made an appointment at the Planned Parenthood here in the U-District to get it inserted. The staff was friendly, welcoming, and I did not feel judged at all. After a urine test to ensure I was not pregnant, the implant was inserted in my left arm (because I’m right-handed). They had me lay on my side with my head turned away from my arm, so I would not see what they were doing. I think this was done to prevent me from getting queasy, as the insertion does involve needles. They first numbed the area using a needle, which was about the same pain-level as getting a shot. When they inserted the implant, I only felt slight pressure in my arm, but no pain. The procedure was super quick, and they dressed my arm with a pressure bandage after. I was told to keep the bandage on for 24 hours and not do any workouts involving my arms for the following week. When I was able to take the bandage off, my arm was bruised, but it healed pretty quickly. The implant becomes effective one week after insertion and lasts for three years. I didn’t notice any severe side-effects, though I did notice a slight change in my sex drive. Before, there were obvious points in my cycle during which I desired sex more. Once I got the implant, this stopped happening. However, this didn’t impact my sex life that much, and was a minimal price to pay for no period and a sense of security. Reach News Editor Susana Machado at news@dailyuw.com. Twitter: @smacha1995
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The Sunday Night Shuga Shaq is the sexiest show you’ll see all month By Mayowa Aina If you listen closely on the first or second Sunday of the month, you can hear the sound of dollar bills falling from the sky onto the bodies of sexy black and brown burlesque dancers. This is, of course, if you are at the Sunday Night Shuga Shaq, the only monthly burlesque revue in the Pacific Northwest. Hosted in the Theatre Off Jackson just a few blocks from the light rail station in the International District, the Shuga Shaq is advertised as “an evening of dazzling dancing, tantric teasing, and all around prismatic sexy magic with some of the hottest Burlesque performers this side of the Mississippi!” This month’s show did not disappoint. The performers, Ava D’Jour, Namii, and Lowa de Boom Boom, presented a variety of thematic topics and performance styles. Topics ranged from what it means to be black in America to the importance of lotion, and included different performance styles that used monologues and audience participation. The performers exposed the audience to a variety of body sizes, shapes, presentations, and colors. Such diverse representation was the mission of Shuga Shaq creator, producer, and host Ms. Briq House. As a performer herself for over six years, she noticed a lack of opportunities for diverse performers, so she created a show of her own that prioritizes not just ethnic diversity, but diversity in gender, sexual orientation, and size. Creating this space hasn’t been easy. House recalls moments when she was not allowed to post fliers advertising her events because the fliers featured her nude behind. “Because I’m a large, black woman, my body is hypersexualized and not considered art the way a thin white woman’s body is,” House said. This opposition is part of what makes the Shuga Shaq a revolutionary show. Performers do
not shy away from difficult subject matter, incorporating their lived experiences into their acts. “We can turn the TV off, [but] I can’t turn my skin off,” House said. At the most recent show, de Boom Boom’s opening act was inspired by what it is like to live in America as a black woman. During her performance, she pulled bullets from different places in her clothing, and as more clothing came off, more bullets fell out. It was a powerful piece to begin the show. As a result of shows like these, audience members and performers alike leave the show changed in a number of ways. House likens the show to going to church, saying it’s a “place for people to be seen, loved, heard, and celebrated.” The Shuga Shaq is a communal and fun space where people have a good time. You can tell that audience members and performers are a supportive and familial community. The theater was filled with laughter, smiles, and hugs as drinks flowed, and clothing came off. The show is about two hours long with an intermission, and general admission tickets start at $15. There was a raffle for door prizes and a live auction for the famous lap dance from Ms. Briq House herself. Overall, the Sunday Night Shuga Shaq is an incredible and interactive experience. If the opportunity to interrupt dominant definitions of beauty and sexiness is not enough to entice you, perhaps supporting a revolutionary cause will. As associate producer and host Sin de la Rosa reminds the audience, “What happens here is magic. If you’re a person of color, doing this on stage is a radical act.” Don’t forget your dead presidents. Follow “The Sunday Night Shuga Shaq” on Facebook for more information. Reach writer Mayowa Aina at specials@dailyuw.com. Twitter: @simplymayowa12
Photos by Cathy You
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UW Family Planning Division unites the community By Hannah Myrick The Family Planning Division works within the OB-GYN department of UW Medicine, and it has an influence all over the area. From local clinics and advocacy to global research and education, it represents the best that Washington has to offer. The women of the division encourage change and create an environment where women’s health is the priority through many of their services both on- and off-campus. Read on to discover more about the staff, the resources they provide for you and the community, and the causes they support.
The Staff
Dr. Sarah Prager, the director of the division, originally intended to be a mountaineer post-college. However, after she started to volunteer at Planned Parenthood, she realized that women’s health truly interested her. After finishing her family planning fellowship, she came to Washington and in 2012 expanded what was then a one-person family planning program at the UW Medical Center (UWMC). Prager is also an associate professor in the department of obstetrics and gynecology, director of the family planning fellowship, and an adjunct associate professor in the School of Public Health. Kelly Gilmore, a research scientist and clinical instructor in the School of Public Health, grew up in Alaska in a town where sex education consisted of, according to her, “two days of scared-straight curriculum.” When she was 15, she started volunteering at Planned Parenthood, and after finishing her undergraduate career at the UW, she worked there for several years before coming back for her Master’s in Public Health. She became a part of the team in 2014. Elizabeth Micks, the director of research in the division of family planning and an assistant professor, has always had a passion for reproductive health. In college, she volunteered at a sexual health peer resource center and then at Planned Parenthood as well. She came to UWMC in 2012. Erin McCoy’s passion for women’s health first began on a Peace Corps program in Ecuador and from there she decided to pursue a Master’s in Public Health. After completing
her degree, she came to Seattle and has worked at the Family Planning Division since 2012. Each of these women was inspired by a group working to prioritize and emphasize the importance of women’s health and took that passion to make an even bigger difference in their communities. This impact of the family planning unit is driven by the passion and curiosity these women and many others in the department exude within their work.
Teaching and Advocacy
One of the main jobs of the the division is to educate medical students, residents, fellows, and fellow providers in the community. They teach OB-GYN residents as well as those specializing in other fields. “There’s a lot of education around contraception, abortion, miscarriage care, preconception care and pregnancy care as well,” Prager said. There’s also an emphasis on advocacy within the program. Both Prager and Dr. Lyndsey Benson, a doctor in the division, are chairs of the American Congress of Obstetricians and Gynecologists (ACOG). “Through ACOG, we host a legislative day annually where we go to Olympia and meet with our legislators and educate them on various women’s health issues that are currently on the legislative agenda,” Prager said. “I am also the chair of the ACOG National Committee on Healthcare for Underserved Women, which focuses on developing tools for clinicians managing underserved populations, as well as advocacy tools for use in legal and political arenas.”
Clinics
The Family Planning Division at UWMC is just the base of many local clinics, and provides many different services, depending on the clinic. Hall Health Center (HHC) is one of these clinics, offering complex contraceptive care and miscarriage care for up to 10 weeks. If the services you need aren’t available at HHC, then the Roosevelt Clinic, the Northgate Clinic, and Harborview all supply full-spectrum family planning that provides care for abortions, miscarriages, and higherrisk contraception. There are many clinics in the region, demonstrating the huge importance of the UW to women’s health and general health in
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the community.
Research
There are far too many research projects to put in one article, so suffice it to say these are only a taste of the incredible scope of women’s health research that the Family Planning Division undertakes. One project is helping implement contraception, including IUDs, at the Robert Clewis Center in Belltown, which offers health care for the homeless population as well as a needle-exchange program. Emily Godfrey, another member of the division’s staff, made a film along with Gilmore called “Your Hormonal IUD: What to expect in the first six months,” about hormonal IUD users who shared their experience and how they are adjusting to the process. The two have test screened their film locally as well as in Chicago, and are hoping to share it with the general public soon. McCoy discussed a research program which is partnered with UW’s department of global health. “We are conducting a couple of studies in partnership with the global health department that involve using text messaging to connect women to maternal and child health care, including contraceptive care,” McCoy said. It is clear that there is an endless scope to the research that is encompassed in women’s health. From benefitting a global arena to those at a local needle exchange, the various women of this division are doing
remarkable work to dive deeper into issues that affect every woman and the larger global community.
How Family Planning can help you
If you are interested in the services that the Family Planning Division offers, visit one of their clinics. There is a variety of comprehensive care at HHC and any of the clinics. If in need of more than HHC offers, such as abortion care, look online for what’s available and what is local. They also recommend you check out the website Bedsider, a site which offers a very comprehensive look at birth control and safe sex in general. “We’re so lucky to live in Washington state, where there is access to abortion care almost throughout the state,” Prager said. “There are certainly pockets where it’s harder to get or you have to drive farther. We have laws in Washington that promote access and funding for low income women as well, to be able to get contraceptive care and abortion care.” So once you put down this sex edition, remember that the lovely state of Washington and the wonderful staff at the Family Planning Division have research, advocacy, clinics, and education galore, all ready to help your health and passions at the drop of a hat. Reach writer Hannah Myrick at specials@dailyuw.com. Twitter: @hanmyrick
UW Researchers seek to clarify link between HIV and Depo A shot in the dark By Tim Gruver A shot in the arm might help prevent unwanted pregnancies, but it could be putting millions of women at risk for contracting HIV. Since the 1990s, a number of studies have found that injectable depo-medroxyprogesterone acetate, or the “Depo shot,” could increase the risk of contracting HIV by as much as 50 percent. Administered in the buttock or upper arm, each shot prevents pregnancy for up to three months. It does not, however, protect against sexually transmitted infections (STIs). Paid for by a $3.5 million grant from the National Institutes of Health, UW researchers are initiating a new investigation of biological mechanisms that could be behind these earlier findings. The new funding is tied into an ongoing trial, Evidence for Contraceptive Options and HIV Outcomes (ECHO), which is enrolling 7,800 sub-Saharan volunteer participants and randomizing them to three different birth control methods: the Depo shot, a copper IUD, and the Jadelle implant. The principal investigator for the new work on biological mechanisms, Renee Heffron, a UW assistant professor of global
health and epidemiology, believes allowing participants to choose their own contraceptive methods led to previous studies providing biased data which have prevented definitive conclusions from being made. “Women who choose to use [the Depo shot] make different choices about their sexual behavior than women who choose to use say, condoms, for their contraception, or no contraception,” Heffron said. “They have differences in their sexual behavior, how much they’re having sex, how much they’re using condoms, and even their intentions of getting pregnant that relate to whether or not they’re using condoms.” Heffron believes the ongoing trial may yield more conclusive results by randomizing women to three contraceptive methods. The new funding will allow the study to address questions of how contraceptives may increase HIV risk by investigating changes in a number of measures of immune function, such as inflammation, bacterial changes, and an increase in HIV target cells. As one of two intrauterine birth control methods in the United States (the other being hormonal IUDs) and one of the most common birth control methods in sub-Saharan Africa, copper IUDs have a failure
rate of less than one percent and can last up to 12 years. The device blocks pregnancy by releasing a small amount of copper into the uterus, which acts to block fertilization. The Jadelle implant and its international variants is a hormonal contraceptive composed of two thin, flexible rods beneath the skin of the upper arm that prevents pregnancy up to five years. It also comes with a variety of common side effects including breast pain, nausea, and irregular menstrual bleeding. Jared Baeten, a UW professor of global health and a member of the trial’s management committee, expressed his optimism that copper IUDs could act as a safer and more efficient alternatives to the Depo shot or hormonal implants. “Copper IUDs are highly, highly effective contraceptives and they could provide an alternative in terms of HIV risk, which is why it’s one of the comparison groups against the Depo shot in the ECHO trial,” Baeten said. “Up until now, the data [and] the summary from these reviews show something that is concerning, but not definitive, or sufficiently definitive enough to radically alter policy about contraception.” Reach writer Tim Gruver at specials@dailyuw.com. Twitter: @T_TimeForce
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The art of gender: By Shahbaz Khan Gender is a complex and fundamental facet of human identity, existing on a fluid spectrum that’s often forced into hard-line binaries. As we progress as a society, American concepts of gender must be challenged not only politically and scientifically, but also artistically. Perhaps no other medium does this better than drag. Just as jazz and rap can find their roots in African-American history, so too is drag inextricably linked to the LGBTQIA+ community. Drag forces us to look beyond the performance, beyond the character, and ask who we are and why we think in the ways that we do. Drag is a performing art emphasizing the roles that clothes, makeup, and style play in societal perceptions of gender. Traditionally popular among gay men, drag, like all art, is open to everyone, regardless of their race, sexuality, or gender. In 2009, the reality competition TV series “RuPaul’s Drag Race” aired its first season. It has since gone on to be renewed for an upcoming ninth season and has launched two spin-offs. Last spring, the ASUW Queer Student Commission held its 13th Annual Drag Competition, in which students across the UW came to watch nine contestants perform and compete with one another. Because drag culture is increasing in popularity and exposure, it’s important to understand what drag is and the significance it has in American culture, especially in relation to gender and sexuality. What is drag? “We’re all born naked, and the rest is drag.” This is a quote attributed to RuPaul (of “RuPaul’s Drag Race” fame), told to me by Klaudya Markos, a Seattle-based drag queen, when I asked what drag was to her. “Literally, the clothes you wear —
the outfits, the hats, the sunglasses — whatever we put on our bodies, it’s all drag,” Markos elaborated. “To me, drag is about transformation,” said Evan Swope, a UW department of communications staff member. Swope is also known as Heavy Scene Macaque. “What I want out of drag is some kind of transformation or change from that person into a character.” The earliest form of drag is dated back to the Elizabethan and classical Chinese eras of theater, although some historians trace its origins back to ancient Greece. Traditionally, women performing on stage were considered immoral and obscene, so women’s roles were instead given to men. One possible etymological explanation for the term “drag” comes from 1870s theater slang: Male actors would wear long skirts when playing women, and these skirts would drag across the floor. Drag emerged as we know it today in the early part of the 20th century, but following increasingly discriminatory legislation and attitudes toward the LGBTQIA+ community, it went underground by the 1950s. It wasn’t until after the Stonewall Riots in 1969 when drag culture began to re-emerge from the fringes of American entertainment. These protests, led primarily by lesbian women and drag queens, are considered to be the kickstarter for the modern push for LGBTQIA+ rights today. Subsets of drag Fishy drag is perhaps the most well known form of drag. This form of drag is more glamour-based, focusing particularly on creating a dazzling and stunning look for the character. This is the type of drag that Markos specializes in. “Fishy means you’d rather be more pretty and more realistic than out there,” Markos said. This type of drag places special care on its use of fashion and makeup, typically
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opting to be more grounded in both aesthetic and performance. These are the kinds of drag queens who usually appear on “RuPaul’s Drag Race.” Markos describes her individual style as that of a showgirl, playing up the fun of sexuality in song and dance. Alternative drag, by contrast, is less concerned with realism. This is the type of drag that Evan Swope does as Heavy Scene Macaque. “I’m a little bit more focused on the comedy and the performance than the glamour,” Swope said. Alternative drag is known for its outlandish costumes and exaggerated characterization, creating looks and characters meant to draw the eye and challenge the audience’s perceptions and assumptions.
Andrew Estey Because drag plays around with the fluidity of gender, most misconceptions surrounding drag tend to be related to confusion with the transgender community. “I’d say you should really take the time to understand people more and not just assume,” Markos said. “Drag isn’t just something in a box. Drag is everything.” Reach writer Shahbaz Khan at specials@dailyuw.com. Twitter: @JadeMoonSpeaks
Finding the best dating app for you A rating of three popular dating apps By Alex Bruell Dating apps offer easier communication with more people than we’ve ever had access to; the simplified process of being shown a list of “interested” people carries the potential to get us to a hook up, relationship, or anything in between much faster. But there are many dating apps, and each has its distinct flaws, features, and intended audience. Knowing what you want, and which app has the best chance of bringing it to you, will start you off on the best foot possible. So here’s my entirely subjective rating of three popular, student-friendly dating apps, all alternatives to the eternally popular Tinder.
Bumble
The basic premise of Bumble — swiping left or right on people near you — is similar to Tinder. Bumble’s chat system, designed to address the harassment problems that plague dating apps, works differently: First, contact must be made within 24 hours or the match expires (this is a feature I like a lot, especially as it’s implemented in another app below). The other critical part is that for heterosexual couplings, the woman goes first — only she can start the conversation, and if she doesn’t, the match is over. The thinking goes that if the woman is in control of the initial contact, she’s less likely to receive harassment from unsavory men. It could also be a welcome change of pace for guys who feel tired of always initiating. It’s a great idea in theory, and the feminist angle of the app scores big initial points, but users still fall prey to abuse (despite the company’s great responses). I’ve also noticed from friends and my own usage that Bumble can feel “cold,” meaning conversations don’t lead to dates as often as other apps. Bumble still has a lot of promise as it develops, and has already proved itself as a “brighter” alternative to Tinder. Rating: /
OkCupid
OkCupid is an open-ended alternative to the “swiping through a list of people” style that other apps use. While it’s got a match feature that’s similar to Tinder and Bumble, OkCupid boasts other cool features, like being able to scroll through a list of highly personalized results without having to decide on each.
Best of all, OkCupid has an ever growing library of “would you rather” questions, ranging from “do you find knuckle cracking annoying?” to “would you date someone with openly racist views?” Answering the questions is a fun way to build up a set of personal ethical standards to show others, plus it helps filter out people you’re not interested in. It’s fun to do even if you’re not looking to date, as your responses generate a “personality” profile that ranks your traits like confidence, nerdiness, athleticism, and sex drive relative to other users. All of that potential and possibility can be a problem when you’re just trying to get a date. It’s easy to get caught up obsessively trying to find the person who answers all the questions the right way, and the lack of timers on conversations makes the urgency to chat and swap numbers dry up. OkCupid is good, but there’s one app that’s even better. Rating: //
Coffee Meets Bagel (CMB)
CMB is great because so few people know about it (which I guess I’ve now ruined). It’s similar to Bumble in that you swipe on a list of people and are given limited time (one week) to talk, but with CMB, that list is curated specifically to preferences you specify. Somehow, getting only five or six people a day to choose from fundamentally changes your decision making process. You end up spending more time thinking about the matches, considering if they fulfill what you really want. You’re more likely to send messages. And despite CMB having the fewest active users of dating apps I’ve used, it’s produced the most connections. CMB draws in a slightly older crowd than the average student, with most users in their mid-twenties, but it’s that mature vibe that makes the app great for dating: Asking someone out for coffee or to go to an art show doesn’t feel absurd in the same way it does on Tinder. And while people still use CMB successfully for hookups, if you’re looking for dating and perhaps a relationship, this app along with a healthy dose of patience is your best smartphone-based chance. Rating: / Reach Podcast Editor Alex Bruell at specials@dailyuw.com. Twitter: @BruellAlex
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Collegi-ATE: Aphrodisiacs By Rebecca Gross Aphrodisiacs are substances known to increase libido when eaten, but they don’t have to come in some crazy artificial pill form. You can actually increase libido with the types of foods you eat and whether or not they have aphrodisiac compounds in them. Some aphrodisiacs include testosterone,
Contributing Photographer Rebecca Gross
So before we get cooking, why use these ingredients for a special Valentine’s Day? Asparagus has been believed to be an aphrodisiac for years. Its high content of potassium, fiber, vitamin B6, vitamins A and C, thiamin, and folic acid create the perfect slew of chemicals to spice up Valentine’s Night. Salmon might also do the trick. The high levels of protein, omega-3 fatty acids, vitamins A, D, and B, as well as calcium, all contribute to making your little guys swim later in the night. Beyond the heavy substance of your meal, you’ll need some garnishes and extra flavors to spice up your night. Garlic
and basil are two tasty tricks to get your mojo going. Garlic has plenty of allicin in it, which might physically arouse you as it increases blood flow. Basil, on the other hand, is known to be an aphrodisiac due to its delicious and fresh smell. Already getting fidgety thinking ‘bout this? Well, then you better get cooking. First, preheat the oven to 450 degrees. While you’re waiting for it to heat up, cut up the potatoes into fourths. Prep your asparagus spears by cutting them in half. When the oven is heated, put the potatoes in a well-oiled pan into the oven for 20 minutes. When your timer goes off, scatter your
How practicing abstinence boosted my sex positivity Loving yourself goes a long way By Madelaine VanDerHeyden My last relationship gave me the best sex of my life. Hot and intimate, adventurous and exciting, I was always both happily surprised and still completely content. My partner made me feel more wanted, more welcomed, and more safe than I had ever felt before. Still, things were not perfect, and as in most relationships, there came a time to end things. In the moments leading up to that breakup, I questioned what I wanted. And I knew one thing for sure: I really wanted to keep having sex. But if we broke up, would I be allowed to grieve the loss of that part of my life? I used to be someone who would stop reading an article like this, citing lewdness and inappropriate content. Sex used to be an off-limits topic, one reserved simply for very scientific health education and crude movies I wasn’t supposed to watch. But my perspective on sex changed when I actually started having it myself, and it continued to change throughout different relationships and different partners. I know that sex is confusing, especially in college. And that seems silly, really. Sex is a beautiful thing. It releases happy hormones, minimizes stress, generates self-confidence, and increases intimacy. Not to mention that it can just be really, really fun. As such, wanting sex shouldn’t be such a bad thing, but somehow it is. This is the problem that confronted me during my break up: Is it really so terrible for me to want sex? What will my sex life look like without a routine partner? While the option of breaking up with my partner to better pay attention to myself seemed to be the epitome of self-
care, I also understood how engaging in a healthy sex life was also an element of taking care of myself. Intimacy, love, and sex are things we all need. Ultimately, what I had to realize is that while the active part of my relationship was healthy, the emotional part was not. And while sex is usually just seen as a physical act, it really does include emotional, spiritual, and interpersonal connections, and requires care for each of those things. Thus, I made the decision to let go of my partner and all the things that came with him, good and bad. In essence, I chose to stay abstinent rather than keep engaging in sex that physically felt amazing but didn’t translate into the rest of our relationship. Every moment in our lives is an opportunity to learn something, and in that period of my life I realized how I could make love without having sex. I chose to love myself in a way that felt good in every aspect, and what came out of it was something unexpected: I felt more empowered by my sexuality than ever. That may seem contradictory, suggesting being abstinent can be sexpositive. But to be sex-positive is really to just be OK with yourself and your choices, and to love and accept yourself in whatever position you find yourself in. If deciding to not have sex makes you feel good, then that is the best option. The moral of my story is this: Do whatever feels right and prioritize yourself. It’s OK to love yourself. It’s OK to be alone. Chances are, what you learn in that stage will prepare you to better love yourself and your next relationship in the future. Reach Wellness Editor Madelaine VanDerHeyden at specials@dailyuw.com. Twitter: @mbvdh_uw
bremelanotide, melanotan II, crocin, and phenethylamines. These long scientific names may not mean anything to you, but the types of food they are found in are around us every day. This Valentine’s Day, make something you know will not only satisfy the belly of you and your partner, but will also satisfy you in bed. Here’s a recipe to get you in the mood:
One sack fingerling potatoes (golden or mixed color if preferred) Eight asparagus spears trimmed and halved Two handfuls cherry tomatoes One large salmon filet cut in four pieces Two tablespoons olive oil Two tablespoons balsamic vinegar Dried rosemary to taste Basil to taste ¼ cup greek yogurt One tablespoon garlic powder One tablespoon thyme Salt and pepper to taste asparagus halves inside the pan with the potatoes and put the pan back in the oven for another 15 minutes. Throughout this, don’t forget to season with salt and pepper. When your 15 minutes are up, toss in the balsamic vinegar and place your four pieces of salmon right into the pan with the veggies that have been cooking. Add salt, pepper, and rosemary to the fish according to your liking, and put back into the oven for 10-15 minutes. You should start to notice a nice pink tone coming into your salmon as it cooks. While you wait for your beautiful meal to be done, whip up a tasty sauce on the
side. All this requires is mixing the greek yogurt with the thyme, garlic powder, and a little bit of salt. When you’re done mixing that up, your salmon should be nearly done. Enjoy with a tall glass of white wine, or if you’re too hungry — or ready to move the party elsewhere — try eating straight out of the pan. Reach Opinion Editor Rebecca Gross at specials@dailyuw.com. Twitter: @becsgross
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1/30/17
3:48 PM
THE DAILY