Sex Edition 2020

Sex Edition 2020 1

THE DAILY

THE DAILY PRESENTS

THE SEX EDITION What’s one more? Anyone can have a threesome PAGE 7

Lauren Abbott @lorin.abot

Which candle does your vagina smell like?

Asstrology: Read your sexy horoscope

PAGE 14

PAGE 10-11

2

THE DAILY

Sex Edition 2020

The Daily staff answers your burning questions Big spoon or little spoon?

Mira: Little spoons in every context (eating soup and yogurt, cuddling, etc.)

Chamidae: What’s the one where you lay on their chest?

That one.

Charlotte: If I’m big spoon, I feel unloved.

Jenna: 70% big spoon, 30% little spoon.

Lydia: Big spoon. Koala vibes only.

Abby: Both are so nice.

Sam: Both make me feel insecure. I need to be upright at all times.

Hannah: I’m tall. I prefer the term front spoon.

Hands or feet?

Mira: 16,000 nerve endings in the feet is all I’m sayin’.

Chamidae: BIG hands.

Charlotte: At the end of the day, it’s gotta be hands.Jenna: I’m incredibly neutral on this topic.

Lydia: Feet stress me out.

Abby: Hands, yup.

Sam: I try not to think about feet.

Hannah: You really think I’m going to reveal my foot fetish?

Nice try, cop.

? ? ?

What’s your type, on paper?

Mira: Pretty weird, usually a Leo. Sometimes a Gemini, but that usually doesn’t go well.

Chamidae: People who aren’t into me.

Charlotte: A Bon Appetit test kitchen employee.

Jenna: Not blonde.

Lydia: Umm, 11-point Calibri?

Abby: Was a tree in a past life.

Sam: All kinds of nerdy.

Hannah: Smart, but knows I’m smarter.

Sex fantasy on campus?

Mira: Atmospheric science building (great view).

Chamidae: Depends on who is involved.

Charlotte: Rainy Dawg studio.

Jenna: Husky Stadium at dusk.

Lydia: McMahon study room. Gotta live the freshman dream before it gets torn down.

Abby: Office hours hehe.

Sam: Any roof, you choose.

Hannah: I don’t have fantasies. Just realities. Don’t let your dreams stay dreams.

What’s the hottest major?

Mira: Geology — it’s all about time-scale paradigms.

Chamidae: Whatever major where men wear turtlenecks.

Charlotte: All I know is I’ve sworn off English majors.Jenna: Gotta love a philosophical lad.

Lydia: Architects, hmu ;) Abby: I agree with Lydia.

Sam: The less lucrative the major, the hotter the men.

Hannah: At this point, having declared a major at all is hot enough.

Do you fall fast or take things slow?

Mira: Love is a spiral.

Chamidae: Fast and then not at all.

Charlotte: A very hesitant and anxious fast.

Jenna: Fast as long as he’s not blonde.

Lydia: Too fast for my own good.

Abby: All or nothin’.

Sam: Whatever feels natural (but let’s be real, it’s fast).

Hannah: I have developed three crushes just this morning.

Ideal Valentine’s Day? Mira: Valentine’s Day is a capitalist ploy.

Chamidae: Watching “Little Women” for the third time.

Charlotte: Reflecting on my attachment style.

Jenna: Watching the “Masked Singer.”

Lydia: Not being alone, ahahahh.

Abby: Pet store.

Sam: If I’m not having a panic attack we’re winning.

Hannah: Take me back to fifth grade when we got candy for the whole class.

Favorite song to hook up to?

Mira: The entire “The Pinkprint” album. Thanks Nicki :P

Chamidae: “Dance like U” by Okay Kaya.

Charlotte: “Dark and Handsome” by Blood Orange and Toro y Moi. Jenna: Anything Pitbull.

Lydia: “Boom, Boom, Boom, Boom!!” by the Vengaboys.

Abby: “I need a forest fire” by James Blake.

Sam: “Purple Haze” by Jimi Hendrix.

Hannah: “Watermelon Sugar” by Harry Styles.

WE KNOW WHAT YOU WANT...

AND WE HAVE IT AT THE BOOK STORE. ubookstoreseattle ubookstoresea

206.634.3400

ubookstore.com

THE DAILY

Sex Edition 2020 3

4

THE DAILY

Sex Edition 2020

Boning up on sex

Bringing sex education into the 21st century

Courtesy of Erik Stuhaug

By Henry Zing The Daily While the details of Paul Revere’s ride may have faded from my memory, I still remember much of the sex education I received in the fifth grade. Although impactful, the guidance I received, and which many adolescents still receive, is flawed.

Dr. Cora Breuner, an adolescent medicine specialist at Seattle Children’s Hospital, described how some former students distinctly remember their secondary school sex education, even many years into their adult life.

“It was 15 years ago that I was teaching these guys, and now they’re in their 20s,” Breuner said.

“They see me and they go ‘oh, I

remember you taught me this.’”

Breuner is involved in a variety of approaches to sex education.

In addition to addressing sexual health in her work at Seattle Children’s Hospital, Breuner is a faculty member at multiple institutions, including the UW’s Schools of Medicine and Public Health.

Breuner has also sought to address sex education outside the medical community, and for 15 years has assisted the sexual education program at St. John Catholic School.

“One of the things I feel is very important as a health care provider is teaching outside our ivory tower, we need to be teaching, or assisting those who teach sexuality education in the school,” Breuner said.

Focus on our sex education system in Washington state has become especially pronounced with recent political developments in Olympia.

The Washington state Senate approved Senate Bill 5395 on Jan. 22, mandating that all Washington school districts provide sex education in some form, beginning in kindergarten and progressing through 12th grade.

Before this bill, Washington state public schools were only required to teach annual HIV and AIDS prevention material, from fifth grade onward.

While the bill promises to enhance the quality of sex

education in Washington state, Breuner recognized the challenging nature of addressing the complex issues inherent to sex education.

“We have to be uniform in what we are teaching, and we have to have a uniform metric in assessing whether we’re doing a good job teaching it,” she said.

Whereas other aspects of an education can be evaluated by college attendance rates and income statistics, the effectiveness of sex education is much harder to assess.

“Whenever I hear about these laws and these curriculum, I don’t ever hear, ‘what is the metric we’re going to use to determine whether we’ve done a good job educating?’” Breuner said.

Some factors are easier to evaluate, such as unintended pregnancy rates and sexual assault statistics, but less obvious components like an indivual’s sexual satisfaction are an important part of sexual health as well.

When metrics are examined accordingly, the correlation between comprehensive sex education and improved sexual health is obvious. For example, a 2016 article by Breuner stresses that conclusive evidence indicates that abstinence-only sex education programs result in greater numbers of unintended pregnancies.

Additionally, sex education

in most public schools is not handled by educators trained specifically in sexual health, but rather by educators who teach in some other capacity, an issue that Breuner identified as problematic.

“It’s not fair to have a math teacher, or even a PE teacher, which is what ends up happening, teaching health and sex ed,” Breuer said. “That’s like asking somebody to suddenly drive a stick shift, when all they’ve ever driven is an automatic. I think that’s not fair to the teachers nor the students.”

Sar Surmick, another sex educator, recognizes the deficiencies of our sex education system and is actively involved in improving the current system.

“In most cases across the country consent isn’t even mentioned in any significant way,” Surmick said. “The last statistics I read put it at something like 20% even mention consent as part of their sex education classes.”

This is especially concerning considering that current statistics show among undergraduates, 23% of females and 5% of males experience some form of rape or sexual assault while attending college.

After Surmick began teaching consent eight years ago, he encountered such a substantial number of individuals interested in consent, that he quickly realized the need for additional educators.

In 2016 Surmick formed the

Consent Academy, an educational collective with a staff of nine educators that offers a variety of consent-related courses.

“We’re getting highly inconsistent sexual education across the country,” Surmick said.

“When people come together as young adults, or as adults, in sexual situations, they’re coming from very different perspectives and very different knowledge levels, and that creates a lot of miscommunication and difficulties.”

Given funding obstacles, the vast range of personal views on sexuality, and a culture that continues to view sex as taboo, the task of comprehensviley reforming our sex education approach is a challenging one.

However, dedicated professionals like Breuner and Surmick are utilizing a variety of approaches to modernize sex education.

Reach writer Henry Zing at specials@dailyuw.com.

Twitter: @ZingHenry

Beyond condoms: How PrEP can protect you PrEP can reduce chances of HIV transmission by 99%

Paige Gedicke @bigbluebirb

By Mac Murray The Daily The conversation surrounding safer sex supplies often begins and ends with external condoms.

But there’s a world of nifty tools out there designed to improve your peace of mind (and even pleasure) regarding your sex life: internal condoms, finger cots, dental dams, and lube, to name a few. And if you’re concerned about contracting HIV, the wonder treatment of preexposure prophylaxis, commonly referred to as PrEP, has your back.

If you’re in the demographic to which PrEP is usually advertised (i.e. people with penises who have sex with other people with penises, especially in black and Latino communities), you might already be familiar with it. PrEP is a once-daily pill that can reduce the risk of contracting HIV during sex by 99% when taken correctly. Its side effects are also rare and typically minor.

“In the beginning … there’s less than 5% of people who

have what’s called the ‘startup syndrome,’” Elyse Tung, the director of clinical services at Kelley-Ross Pharmacy, said.

“Maybe some headaches, upset stomachs, nausea … [but] 95% of people right off the bat will find it very easy to take.”

The Kelley-Ross Pharmacy, based in The Polyclinic’s Madison Center, was the first organization in the nation to offer PrEP through a pharmacy model (that is, patients can just come into the pharmacy without seeing a doctor beforehand). It offers One-Step PrEP, meaning that patients can set up an appointment to get screened, tested, and prescribed PrEP all in one place.

UW students (and the U-District community at large) can also obtain PrEP through Hall Health, which offers HIV testing and several related services.

“Often people think that HIV prevention medication is kind of like abortion or something, where you have to go to the HIV prevention clinic to get it,”

director of health promotion at Hall Health, Patricia Atwater, said. “But you can go to a regular doctor and they should be able to prescribe that for you.”

Any one of Hall Health’s primary care doctors can prescribe PrEP, so you can choose the provider that’s best for you. At an appointment to obtain PrEP, you will receive a rapid test of a cheek swab or finger prick of blood to ensure that you are HIV-negative prior to starting the medication.

There are many reasons why people may want to opt for a more anonymous method of HIV testing, since a positive test from a standard doctor will appear on a medical record, and the test itself may be billed to insurance.

This can be problematic for a patient whose parents, partner, or other family members may receive the bill if the patient wants to keep the fact that they had the test confidential.

Atwater clarified that Hall Health’s HIV testing procedure, while confidential, is not anonymous. It will show up on a

patient’s medical record and may be billed to their insurance.

Fortunately, there are community resources that offer anonymous testing. Gay City, located in Capitol Hill, is the most prominent.

“For people who are high risk and low income, Gay City can be a really good option,” Atwater said.

Gay City is a resource for anyone looking to access PrEP or determine whether it’s right for them.

“We have two bilingual PrEP navigators who serve as queer health advocates and provide a warm, attentive approach to helping clients,” Melvin Givens, director of marketing and comunication for Gay City, said via email. “Our navigators also have several years in providing LGBTQ+ health services.”

PrEP’s lesser-known cousin, PEP (post-exposure prophylaxis), is an emergency medication used when someone has had an accidental exposure to HIV. It can’t be used regularly like PrEP, but when taken within

72 hours of exposure, it can drastically reduce the risk of the person contracting HIV. Kelley-Ross Pharmacy offers One-Step PEP, too; Hall Health can also prescribe PEP, according to Atwater.

“Our partners at Harborview Medical Center [also] have a strong history of providing easy access to PEP,” Givens said.

HIV is no longer a death sentence for most people, and that’s something to celebrate.

It is also now more preventable than ever before. Accessing resources like PrEP and PEP, if you know that your lifestyle puts you into a higher risk category for contracting HIV, can be facilitated relatively easily by many of these Seattle organizations. And you deserve to access the medications that protect your health and safety without shame or unnecessary barriers.

Reach Health & Wellness Editor Mac Murray at specials@dailyuw.com.

Twitter: @merqto

Sex Edition 2020 5

THE DAILY

VALENTINES DAY

THIS IS A CLASS YOU WON’T WANT TO MISS!

FREE

IN STORES

FEBRUARY 1ST-16TH

SEXPERTS ON DUTY! FOR EVERY $25 YOU SPEND FEB 1ST-16TH, YOU WILL GET A FREE SPIN ON OUR PRIZE WHEEL.

FRI. FEB. 14TH

6PM-9PM

1000’S OF DOLLARS IN GIVEAWAYS! 1510 1ST AVE, SEATTLE, WA 98101 • 2027 WESTLAKE AVE, SEATTLE, WA 98121 PIKE PLACE MARKET ACROSS FROM AMAZON’S BALLS Stock Photo. Posed by Model

FUN FACT

YOU CAN PAY FOR TUITION WORKING ONE DAY A WEEK IN THESE LOCATIONS:

devils triangle

6

THE DAILY

Sex Edition 2020

Dabin Han @dabiliciouss

To feel both good and ethical during your menage à moi Make paying for porn the norm

By Deborah Kwon The Daily Porn. Maybe you consume it pretty regularly, maybe you don’t really vibe with it. Whatever your take on it is, I feel like we can generally agree that a good chunk of people has watched some sort of porn.

To the avid — or not-so avid — porn watcher, should this be free, or should we be paying for it?

Whenever I bring this up with my peers, it usually tends to end up along the lines of “what kind of weirdo would pay for porn?”

It’s not a surprising sentiment, considering sites like PornHub and Reddit are free and readily accessible for any internet user.

But why shouldn’t paying for porn be normalized?

I get it. As a college student, paying for porn is more like a luxury item, and you probably don’t want to be seen as that person who actually pays to watch porn. But also, a lot of us have subscriptions to Netflix, Disney+, Hulu, Spotify, and/or a plethora of various streaming platforms.

Honestly, we are being pretty hypocritical to be consuming a bunch of porn for free while bashing or being disrespectful of the sex workers that make it happen. Teens frequently and glibly claim that they’ll “drop out of school and become a stripper.”

The paper made with help from

People don’t see sex work as work, and generally, this sentiment is reflective of many of the experiences of sex workers.

Sex workers, oftentimes women, can face abuse based on pressure and dubious consent when it comes to doing certain scenes. This is especially true due to the popularity of violence in porn, with the typical characterization of subservient women and dominating men becoming more commonly watched.

Sex workers also aren’t paid as much as we would expect.

“Many of these portrayals show gender and racial dynamics that are reflective of how we view women, or how we view people of color in real life.”

According to CNBC, it’s possible for porn stars to make six-figure salaries, but it really depends on how well-received an actor or actress is, as well as the type of scene, as workers get paid by scene. It’s also worth considering the fact that because of these standards, not all stay in the

industry for long.

Most of us don’t pay for porn, but maybe we should.

Paying for porn is a way to help sex workers get paid to do their jobs and help alleviate the huge stigma surrounding sex work as well as the stigma surrounding porn itself. It’s also a much better source than websites like Pornhub, which lets anyone freely post content, which seems like a good way to broaden the kind of content released to the public. However, this lack of restriction can also lead to things like underage people being shown on the site, as well as revenge porn; sometimes the two go hand in hand.

Speaking of free sites like Pornhub, there’s also something to be said about the way captions and depictions we see get tied into our implicit biases.

As a way to get clicks, you’ll see words like “exotic” or “submissive” related to Asian girls. Or, “ebony” in describing Black girls which, by the way, is its own category on Pornhub. In general, there’s a lot of racial fetishization of various groups of people of color.

And consider how porn tends to be very much male gaze and male pleasure-centric. There’s a ton of content that’s quite literally purely from the perspective of a white, heterosexual man. But also,

it’s reflected in the type of content you might find, like underage portrayals of women, incestuous relations, and overall extreme violence.

Many of these portrayals show gender and racial dynamics that are reflective of how we view women, or how we view people of color in real life. The act of viewing those themes can be worked into your implicit biases, whether you think you believe them or not.

So the question is, where can we get some ethical, affordable, fair-trade porn? As of late, OnlyFans, a general influencer platform, has grown in popularity for sex work, and it allows for you to support individual sex workers in a more intimate and personal setting, with subscribers paying anywhere from $5 to $50 per month. For sex workers, it’s used as a sort of hybrid between social media and porn.

PinkLabel.tv looks to broaden the scope of the content shown on porn, trying to move away from just the white male gaze. They’re looking to combat the offensive, exclusive content that other porn sites tend to have, and they create content inclusive of communities of people of color, women, queer people, and disabled people.

LustCinema is another site that seeks to create feminist, diverse porn, with similar objectives as

PinkLabel.tv.

However, these sites break the bank a bit more, with subscriptions going anywhere from $10 to $25 per month for PinkLabel.tv and $12 to $35 per month for LustCinema.

One last site worth mentioning, though it’s also pretty high up there in price at $17 to $25 per month, is Joybear. On Joybear’s website, it’s specifically stated their promise of “ethically produced erotic content,” with an emphasis on portraying multidimensional women, promoting sex positivity, and paying their performers properly and promptly.

So, next time you’re looking for some pleasure, consider whether your porn’s ethical, and maybe consider switching it up. We love our fair-trade food, so why not our porn too? Porn is sexy, but ethical porn’s even sexier.

Reach writer Deborah Kwon at specials@dailyuw.com.

Twitter: @debskwo

THE DAILY Advertising and Business Staff Advertising Manager Isaac Jundt admanager@dailyuw. com

Advertising Inquiries 206-543-2336 ads@dailyuw.com Publisher Diana Kramer dianakramer@ dailyuw.com

Editorial Staff Editor-in-Chief Mira Petrillo editor@dailyuw.com Design Editor Jenna Shanker design@dailyuw.com

Specials Sections Editors Charolette Hudson Chamidae Ford

Photo Editors Lydia Ely Mo Tilmo photo@dailyuw.com

Copy Chiefs Sam Steele Trevor Hunt copy@dailyuw.com

Illustration Editor Abby Dahl illustrations@ dailyuw.com

Sex Edition 2020 7

THE DAILY

The magic of ménage à trois

A user-friendly guide to threesomes

By Katelyn Grganto The Daily Let’s get real: who hasn’t fantasized about being drooled over by not one attractive human, but two? It’s obvious why threesomes are an infamous fantasy, but they can feel like an unrealistic dream, something so hot no mortal could ever really achieve.

The idea of being involved in some sort of group sex is a wildly popular desire. Dr. Justin Lehmiller, a social psychologist who focuses on the sexual world, conducted a large survey of sexually active Americans and found group sex ranked as one of three dominant fantasies.

Since so many people are turned on by this sexual numbers game, why is it often viewed as scandalous, or a fantasy that’s out of reach for your average sex-haver? It would be unusual

Carina Bixby @carinabixby

for someone to casually discuss their experiences with group sex, but according to another study in 2015, up to 28% of men and women reported having engaged in a threesome at least once.

In the spirit of defying the taboo surrounding sex, and especially threesomes, I’ve delved into the weird side of the internet and even interviewed a wonderful “third,” and I’m here to give you the rundown on how to not only experience the magic of ménage à trois, but how to be a safe and respectful participant as well.

The first step in your threesome journey is evaluating what exactly you want from this experience.

Are you a couple looking to spice up your dying sex life?

Spoiler alert, a threesome isn’t going to magically fix problems in a relationship. In fact, it could actually amplify them. But if you and your partner are stable and are both looking to expand your

horizons, sharing your fantastic sex life with another fantastic human is a good way to go.

The second step, of course, is finding some willing partners. In a perfect world, these things just happen like some kind of movie magic, but for the more realistic scenario of having to hunt down some people, there’s an app for that. In fact, there are quite a few.

Whether you’re boo’d up or flying solo, there’s a ton of resources on the web to find other interested parties. There are apps specifically tailored toward group sex, like Feeld, but good ol’ Tinder works just as well. There’s even a subreddit for it, if you’re into that.

Keep in mind, if you’re bringing home some strangers from an online dating app, it’s a good idea to go out to coffee and get to know each other a bit to feel out the vibes before jumping into the thick of things.

The next option is hitting up some people you know, but many advise against this. In most cases, avoiding exes and friends is probably a safe bet in order to leave the past in the past and to avoid having to permanently know what your friend looks like in bed. Yikes.

However, sometimes friends are the perfect third party. It can make for incredibly awkward times in your friend group, but everyone is different. If you have the type of friends who are down to get down and still want to hit up Odegaard the next morning, I

YOU

am not only impressed, but in full support.

Once you’ve found your one or two other sexy individuals, it’s time to have a genuine conversation about expectations.

The most important part of having a successful threesome experience is allowing yourself to be honest and vulnerable with the group.

Discussing your boundaries and setting ground rules in regards to who is touching who, what types of sex are allowed, and things such as safewords are crucial to having an experience that is not only hot but also comfortable. In fact, talking beforehand might break down some of those awkward-feeling boundaries that make it feel weird.

Other logistics of the night are important to chat about as well. Knowing how you’re getting home or if you even have to get home at all adds another layer of comfort to the situation.

It can feel awkward and tedious to go over these preferences, but this conversation is key to ensuring everyone is having fun and feels safe. It’s also not a bad idea to check in periodically and give your partners a chance to voice any concerns they may have.

Once each of you has stated your expectations, it’s time to get freaky. Make sure that condoms and lube are readily available, and be sure to switch condoms each time you switch holes or

partners. If you’re in a committed relationship and you and your partner don’t use protection, still be sure to respect the wishes of your third and practice safe sex.

As with all things, threesomes and any kind of group sex can have some awkward or tense moments. While interviewing a source who’s done her research firsthand, I was told that a pivotal piece of having a good time is being able to not take yourself too seriously.

“Actually making that first move is really hard, and we were just kinda laughing about it,” the source said. “You just have to be willing to be vulnerable and laugh at yourself.”

So there you have it, a threesome guide for everyone, normies and vanillas included.

Remember, you don’t have to be a mystical sex god to try something new. According to my source, truly all you need is the confidence to go for it. After all, life begins at the end of your comfort zone — and in bed with two really hot individuals. That’s how that quote goes, right?

Reach writer Katelyn Grganto at specials@dailyuw.com.

Twitter: @KGrganto

ARE NOT ALONE

The caring staff at SafeCampus can offer options and support if you or someone you know has been impacted by sexual assault or sexual harrassment.

uw.edu/safecampus 206-685-7233

8

THE DAILY

Sex Edition 2020

When sex positivity turns toxic

“It’s important to understand that sex isn’t inherently good or bad or liberating — it’s just sex; what’s liberating is agency.”

Edith Freeman @edithfreeman

By Mac Murray The Daily Many aspects of our college campus culture, including this edition of The Daily itself, are the products of the modernday sex positivity movement.

Sex positivity — a value system that seeks to destigmatize sex, sex work, and desire — has led to incredible societal progress, especially our current ability to hold open discussions about consent and queer desire.

For people who have historically been unable to openly, authentically, and enjoyably participate in their own sex lives, this movement is invaluable.

But what happens when this movement, without nuance or any sort of critical perspective, is exposed to young girls who then internalize the idea that giving a blowjob is the most empowering — nay, feminist — act they can perform? What happens when the movement gets so caught up in its own celebration of sexuality that it completely excludes the people for whom sexual attraction is not a significant part of life?

“The pressure for young people to have sex is real,” Amber Torell, assistant director of the ASUW Womxn’s Action Commission, said.

“It’s a personal choice not to have sex, and one that can be equally as empowering. This pressure isolates asexual individuals, or those that otherwise do not want to have sex.”

As a peer sexual health educator in high school, I witnessed a huge share of young people’s anxieties and regrets surrounding sex. Especially for young girls (often under or hovering around the legal age of consent), there was a recurring theme of engaging in sexual behavior that they would later come to regret, as a result of the discourse that sex is inherently “empowering.”

We shouldn’t shy away from these problems out of fear of seeming prudish or

disempowering. In fact, addressing them can and should be the next big phase of the sex positivity movement. It’s up to us to take a long, critical look at the idea of sex we are celebrating — something portrayed as always positive and liberatory — and recognize the situations where this is just not true.

When I posted about this subject on Twitter, several people reached out to me saying that it resonated with their experiences.

While many identities may feel invalidated by the sex positivity movement, I spoke to folks on the asexual (“ace,” in casual LGBTQIA+ parlance) spectrum for whom this is true.

“On the one side, there’s this idea that sex is taboo and whatnot that has prevailed in American culture for a long time,” Owen Crandall, a senior who identifies as on the ace spectrum, said. “Efforts to push against that have created a kind of counternarrative that sex is inherently liberating. Neither of those narratives make space for ace people because they operate on the assumption that everyone desires and participates in sex.”

It is empowering to feel in control of your own body — what you do with it, how you choose to present it, and who gets to see or touch it. But sex in and of itself does not automatically grant you this power.

“It’s important to understand that sex isn’t inherently good or bad or liberating — it’s just sex; what’s liberating is agency,” Crandall said. “I think discussions about sex should center around agency and consent, because those are the elements that make sex pleasurable and positive for everyone involved. The more open we are, the more ace people will be comfortable expressing their needs.”

In other words, the fundamental tenets of sex positivity have the potential to create a world where everyone engages in sex only whenever,

if ever, they feel truly ready and willing to. While striving toward this goal, though, we can’t overlook the different ways in which sex is weaponized in our world.

“Because of existing patriarchy that claims womxn’s bodies as something to be taken, unfortunately there is this idea that not having sex is out of the norm,” Torell said. “It shouldn’t be that way.”

She also mentioned that the Womxn’s Action Commission recently lobbied the Washington state Legislature in support of SB 5935, which would increase access to comprehensive sex education for K-12 students. This bill has since passed.

“Not only would this improve public health, but it would give young people the access to information they need to make the right choices for themselves,” Torell said. “The hope is to destigmatize sex as something that is taboo in our culture. Removing the taboo around sex would make young people more empowered in their sexuality, no matter when they choose to have sex.”

As we work toward a world where everyone feels free and empowered to express their sexuality however they’d like (with consent), let’s make sure that we don’t conflate sex and feminism.

There’s nothing feminist about young people feeling pressured to engage in sexual behaviors they don’t feel truly ready for, or about persistently excluding an entire marginalized group of adults.

Reach Health & Wellness Editor Mac Murray at specials@dailyuw.com.

Twitter: @merqto

Being a virgin, then and now: The history of purity

By Zoe Schenk The Daily In today’s world, the word virgin has a complicated connotation.

It has become inherently interwoven with misogynistic ideals and standards for women and how they choose to explore their sexuality. In health class, students are taught to remain a virgin until they’re in a long-term, committed relationship, with videos using chewed gum and worn sneakers as metaphors for girls who have already had sex. There’s a lot of pressure on the concept of virginity, both to lose it and to keep it, which leads some people to feel bad about their status either way.

That’s not what the word always meant. Instead, “virgin” was used to describe a free woman, independent and autonomous from any man. The idea was that a virgin was a woman not owned by a man.

The word virgin originated from Anglo-French and Old French and meant a chaste or unmarried woman noted for her religious piety. Virgin most likely evolved from the Latin word virginem, meaning a maiden, an unwedded girl or woman, and from the adjective virga, which meant “young shoot.”

Historically, the word virgin has most commonly been used to refer to women, and often women of high standing. Take the Vestal Virgins of ancient Rome.

These women were priestesses of

Vesta, the goddess of the hearth. were punished by being buried Selected for duty between the alive. The lives and power of these ages of 6 and 10, the Vestal Virgins women depended on them not guarded the flame of Vesta in the having sex, and if one was accused city center of Rome for at least 30 of breaking the vow of chastity, years. there was no way for her to prove For those 30 years, the women her innocence. had to remain celibate and unThe Vestal Virgins are not the married because the fire was pure and uncorrupted and so must be entrusted to uncontaminated and undefiled bodies.

The Vestal Virgins were revered by Roman citizens because the flame they guarded was meant to keep Rome safe from attack. They were given rights not allowed to most women, like owning their own property and being emancipated from their father’s rule.

However, these rights depended on remaining celibate. All of the priestesses’ power came from their chastity, and should they be accused of defiling their bodies while they served Christine McManigal @christeth the goddess, they

only powerful women whose clout originates in their purity. The Virgin Mary is one of the most important figures in modern Christianity, and she holds significant power in the church. However, it is thought she may not have actually been a virgin. There was a translation error when translating the Hebrew Bible, and scholars took the word “almah” to mean virgin, when it more realistically meant young. There is little supporting evidence that Mary was a virgin in the New Testament, and yet her “virginity” has now become a fundamental piece of current Christian interpretation and culture.

Throughout history, virgin didn’t necessarily have a medical definition, but was instead more of a concept of remaining pure. It’s always been a word that has a vague meaning. Chaste?

Unmarried? Young?

Pure? This definition has become no clearer with the passage of time.

Today, how you personally perceive

what “virgin” means depends on a variety of factors, ranging from your sexual orientation to your defintion of sex. Even the “medical” definition of losing your virginity, the stretching of the hymen when you have sex for the first time, is not applicaple to everyone, because only women have a hymen and every body is different.

In fact, the World Health Organization (WHO) doesn’t consider “virgin” having a medical or scientific definition. Plus, people define sex in many different ways, and the regular penis-in-vagina definition doesn’t always apply.

According to WHO, “the concept of ‘virginity’ is a social, cultural and religious construct — one that reflects gender discrimination against women and girls.”

Virginity, as a concept, is tightly interwoven in modern culture, but the roots of a woman having power because she remained pure stretch back into ancient times.

Perhaps it’s time to move away from someone’s choices defining whether they get, as they did in Rome, buried alive by society.

Reach writer Zoe Schenk at specials@dailyuw.com.

Twitter: @schenk_zoe

Sex Edition 2020 9

THE DAILY

We need to talk about bisexuality

An exploration of stereotypes and sex thanks to one expert and lots of Reddit users

By Sammi Bushman The Daily Writer’s note: The writer understands that engaging in sexual acts is separate to being attracted to multiple genders.

The theme of this edition is not just about the physical act of sex but also the idea of sexuality in general.

Bisexuality is a commonly misunderstood and underrepresented part of the LGBTQIA+ community.

In between gay and straight, the label is often confused or forgotten all together, lumped in

Maggie Udd @uddstagram with other forms of queer.

So, we’re turning to the internet — perhaps the perhaps the best place for bisexuals to congregate thanks to endless memes, forums, and threads — and the experts for advice.

Stephanie Yingyi Wang is a UW researcher and activist who focuses on bisexuality in China, one of the more restrictive environments for LGBTQIA+ people in the world.

Together these two provide real world and digital insight into the world of bisexuality, the stereotypes, beauty, and misconceptions behind it all.

Do you identify as gay? Lesbian?

What’s the deal with that?

Like everyone in the LGBTQIA+ community, bi+ people choose their labels individually.

Prominant Bisexual activist

Robyn Ochs puts it this way on her website: “I call myself bisexual because I acknowledge that I have in myself the potential to be attracted — romantically and/ or sexually — to people of more than one gender, not necessarily at the same time, not necessarily in the same way, and not necessarily to the same degree.”

Here’s how users on the subreddit r/thebachelor responded when discussing labels during a debate over a contestant’s sexuality who said they’d be open to “being with anyone.” u/kasittig: “Pretty much all of my bisexual friends (and me) interchangably refer to ourselves as bisexual and gay. It’s even a trope in the bisexual community that the only women who call themselves gay are bisexual and all of the strict homosexuals self describe as lesbian.” u/chickfilamoo: “A lot of people use gay/queer pretty interchangeably to refer to people who’s sexualities aren’t definitively straight. Strictly speaking, Alexa (the contestant) seems to think herself as fluid.”

Bisexuals are unreliable partners and other stereotypes One of the most common bisexual stereotype is that because bisexual individuals are attracted to multiple gender identities/sexes, they cheat more often.

“The idea of disloyalty is true to everyone, and it doesn’t matter if you’re a bisexual, straight people or gay, anyone can cheat,” Wang said. “In the Chinese LGBT community, bisexuals are often regarded as promiscuous and unreliable. Bisexuals, especially bi-women, are claimed to be more likely to betray the lesbian community once they reach the marriageable age, due to the societal conformity of compulsory heterosexual marriage.”

Another stereotype is that an individual might not look “bisexual enough,” meaning

they’re too feminine to be gay, or don’t give off “gay vibes,” in conversation. Bisexuality comes in all shapes and sizes, and you don’t have to look a certain way to prove you’re attracted to someone.

The r/bi_irl subreddit on the other hand, highlights bisexual community stereotypes by turning them into memes. Did you know that cuffed jeans may indicate bisexuality? Did you know liking men and women may also indicate you’re bisexual?

If you don’t identify with any of these, or all of these, it doesn’t make you more or less bisexual.

Bisexuality is not an outward appearance or a specific behavior in intimate relationships.

Do you miss men when you’re having sex with women (and vice versa)?

Sexual satisfaction is a commonly debated topic among LGBTQIA+ forums. A recently created subreddit, r/ disasterbisexuals, addresses sticky sexual situations head on by opening up the conversation. Just like every other sexual scenario, preference for dick or pussy is not cut and dry.

“For same-sex relationships, my partners would sometimes be very insecure because I could potentially attract every gender, so one way they would reconcile with their insecurity is by denying my bisexuality: one of my partners said I’m a fake bisexual because I stopped dating men after my first girlfriend,” Wang said. “Well, it has to do with my discomfort with a lot of men with patriarchal ideas of women because I’m a feminist. But yes, I am still attracted to men. These incidences really frustrates me because I feel that even my intimate partners could not really accept who I really am.”

On r/disasterbisexuals, one recent post by u/deepmess9 reads, “What’s Your ‘No, I’m Totally Straight!’ Story? Mine is the time in fifth grade I pretended to ‘trip’

over a cord at my best friend Hannah’s house so I could fall forward and ‘hit my lips against her lips.’ Was genuinely shocked & surprised when everyone made fun of me and called me a lesbian.”

Ultimately, sexual experience and preference depends on the individual. Sex toys, threesomes, orgies, and kink can be great for exploring your sexual preferences and understanding the role dick and pussy have in the bedroom.

On r/lgbtsex, another post entitled “What misconceptions should People be aware of regarding gay sex?” u/dcrose89 commented, “Not all guy-guy sex is anal/oral. Not all LGBT+ people are promiscuous and/or poly.

Not all girl-girl sex is oral/toys,” which helps illustrate the range of experiences bi people can have.

Lets all agree to stop pretending bisexuality doesn’t exist Despite the fact that a 2016 study showed approximately 52% of the LGBTQIA+ community identifies as bisexual, that study also showed that heterosexual, gay, and lesbian people exhibit bias, or biphobia, towards bisexual people.

GLAAD’s 2017-2018 report on LGBTQ+ inclusion noted that of the 6.4% of regular characters on primetime scripted broadcast TV that were LGBTQ+, only 28% were bisexual, which means less than 2% of people on TV are cast as bisexual.

“In the straight world, bisexuality is not taken seriously as straight men would fantasize about sex with bi-women; and in the queer world, bisexuals are dangerous species who would destablize their lives and break their hearts,” Wang said.

Even LGBTQIA+ TV does this.

The historically monumental and important show “The L-Word,” was regarded as biphobic for ignoring and bashing its character Alice for her bisexuality. When “The L-Word” was rebooted in 2020, Alice no longer appeared bisexual

and no main characters who had previously slept with men identified as bi, despite the cast diversifying to include more people of color and trans actors.

In a thread dissussing bisexuality on the L-Word Generation Q, u/mayimsmom commented, “I agree — bi representation on both series has been poor. (...) Alice is very BiNO (bisexual in name only)

throughout the series. She gives lip service to a desire for men, but it is not portrayed seriously or authentically, and Dana gets away with a lot of biphobia toward her.”

Newsflash, bisexuality exists.

Am I bi enough?

Yes! Reach writer Sammi Bushman at specials@dailyuw.com Twitter: @sammi_bushman

Thirst Trap: Blue balls, but for my feelings

By Hannah Krieg The Daily Editor’s Note: Thirst Trap is a weekly column on dating and relationships in college.

Somewhere between giving your Bumble hookup a hug goodbye (which is almost as awkward as the sex itself ) and eating mint chip ice cream straight out of the carton under your covers (which could honestly use a wash), there occurs an existential crisis.

I like to be in the shower for this, hopefully with whitening strips in to create a false sense of productivity as I wallow, but that’s just me.

You had sex. Better yet, you had sex with someone who you didn’t know existed until a couple of hours ago. Better still, you had sex with someone who might as well have never existed in just a few short hours more.

Did I mention you had sex with a stranger from the internet?

And now you feel odd.

College campus hookup culture promotes sexual interactions void of intimacy and emotion, as casual sex is more accessible than ever before

when you enter college.

“Students are living on their own for the first time and discovering who they are,” lecturer Nicole McNichols, who teaches PSYCH 210, the diversity of human sexuality, said. “Part of this discovery process includes discovering their own sexual identity and preferences.”

Casual sex is a great way to make those kinds of discoveries.

There’s no need to get bogged down by the niceties of dinner dates and romantic strolls in the park in order to experiment with your genitalia. In college, the goal is often simply meaningless, (sometimes) mutual pleasure. However, that goal can come with a host of side effects ranging from STDs to emptiness.

When you invite someone over to Netflix and chill, you are signing an unspoken social contract that you will not catch feelings, and a lot of the time, this really won’t be an issue.

The head was subpar and you have completely different tastes in music. You’re not exactly a match made in heaven. But sometimes, feelings can rear their ugly head and make things

difficult.

“Things tend to go awry when there is miscommunication, especially when it involves the question of whether the hook up is meant to lead to a relationship,” McNichols said.

Feelings find a way to muck everything up. The sex could have been awesome, or more likely, better results could have been achieved by yourself, but sex, even casual sex, is more than just masturbating with the aid of another person’s body.

There’s an element of human connection.

“If two people are both enjoying the hook up for what it is and nothing more, this usually leads to positive experiences,” McNichols said.

Like in all things sex and dating, communication is key.

If you want no strings attached — say so. If you want all the strings — say so. Then you avoid the issue of getting your strings all knotted up and your feelings getting hurt.

But if you are feeling a little down after sex, examine those feelings. It might have nothing to do with a desire to pursue a relationship.

If you are someone who feels these post-hookup blues, that is not to say you are in love with your booty call and you should show up at their house with a dozen roses to confess your adoration.

The stigmatization of sex, especially for women, could be a stronger suspect than unexpected feelings for someone who happened to be horny and available at the same time as you. Not exactly fate.

“Although there is no reason to believe that women crave sex any less than men from a biological perspective, society tends to be much more accepting of male versus female sexuality,” McNichols said. “We also tend to reward women for wanting relationships and to be more accepting of them if the sex they have is within the context of a committed relationship.”

Society has collectively decided that women should never enjoy anything which of course, is a huge bummer.

Women are supposed to want relationships with all the trimmings — candlelit picnics, Hallmark movie quality first

kisses, and happily-ever-afters

Anna Schnell @artistannaschnell that rival Disney Princess movies. Casual sex might make you feel crumby because society has a hard time reconciling autonomous female sexuality.

That is the issue, not you.

So if you ever find yourself halfway through a carton of mint chip ice cream in the bed that still smells like a stranger, wipe your tears, trade your snack for something more protein-packed, and pull out the Febreez — we have some unlearning to do.

Reach writer Hannah Krieg at specials@dailyuw.com.

Twitter: @Hannah_krieg

THE DAILY

Sex Edition 2020

Ass-trology

From the top of your head to the tips of your toes, the sexual forces at play in your life (for the next month and a half )

By Charlie Kappes The Daily

Taurus

Aries

With Taurus ruling the throat, neck, and vocal cords, this month is your time to assert yourself in the bedroom; tell them what you want and how you want it. Also, lavender-scented lube will add aromatherapy to the mix, putting you in a relaxed mood, so that afterward, when comfortable and satisfied, you can ask them “what are we?”

Bring Mars into the bedroom and embrace your dominant side. You like diving headfirst into challenging positions, so when one leg is tied to the coat rack and the other to the ceiling fan, you can scream upside down, face red from the blood rushing to your head, “I AM THE GOD OF WHORE.”

Gemini

Cancer

The test will come back negative.

You handle the material and emotions well and, as a result, will be the giver of a pegging for the first time.

REACH YOUR GOALS.

SEATTLE/KING COUNTY CLINIC FEBRUARY 13-16, 2020 FREE Dental, Vision & Medical Care at Seattle Center

MAKE DREAMS COME TRUE. become an egg donor.

© Auston James

10

Learn more at seattleeggbank.com

Seattle Reproductive Medicine

If you or someone you know struggles to access or afford dental, vision or medical care, then this Clinic can help.

All are welcome!

Patients do not need ID and do not need to be residents of Seattle or King County.

seattlecenter.org/patients

Sex Edition 2020 11

THE DAILY

Leo

Sagittarius

Oh la-di-dah, this upcoming month will be a gift.

After careful consideration, you and three other Leos will enter a quadruple. When relaying these four-way experiences to your Pisces friend, you will use the words “exuberance,” “ecstasy,” and “true spiritualistic melding,” completely oblivious to the single tear welling in the Pisces’ eye.

You will try to make the situations described in the other horoscopes a reality in your life, only to fail and question why there is not a tailor-made sexual adventure in your future for the next month and a half, at least.

Virgo

Capricorn

After a third date, your partner will say they have feelings for you. You have them back. Then, you will superficially try to watch a movie before having passionate sex in two positions. The positions are up to you (but nothing standing up). Your friends are happy for you and the future is bright.

You are serious and independent. You have that friends with benefits and you will have good but not great sex consistently on your schedule. Later this month, you will try light bondage. It will be fine.

Libra

Aquarius

You hate being alone, which will be a problem.

Feigning that the person who comes over every Thursday after work will change their mind about being ready for commitment, you put control in their hands. What they ask in these casual encounters, you will feel compelled to do so as not to end up alone tonight. This includes feet stuff. Lots of feet stuff.

The most humanitarian of the signs, you will have passionate sex with a close friend as David Attenborough coos in the background, “Their habitat decreasing at an unimaginable rate, the elephant seal may never see the end of this decade.”

Scorpio

Pisces

Equipped with power, passion, and deriving strength from the psychic and emotional realms, you will be the receiver of a pegging for the first time.

Despite reading, writing, and participating in sexpositive jokes and discussions both on Twitter and in person, you will not be having sex for this next month and a half, at least.

MALE FERTILITY LAB

Deck out your digs for dollars

GOT ANY SWIMMERS IN YOUR POOL? SERVICES Semen analysis Sperm function tests Cryogenic sperm preservation

$

10

RESEARCH Sperm function research needs subjects

Students & the general public

CONTACT US TO SCHEDULE AN APPOINTMENT

Shop Tuesdays, noon - 6 pm

4245 Roosevelt Way NE | Seattle, WA 98105 206-598-1001 | androl@uw.edu

uwsurplus.com 206.685.1573 We’re across from U-Village! 4515 25th Ave NE

12

THE DAILY

Sex Edition 2020

How are you deciding who to swipe right on?

On the science of attraction

By Tiasha Datta The Daily Editor’s note: Much of the research on attraction is based on cisgender and heteronormative subjects, leading to the exclusion of many identities.

In French, the moment of attraction is called “coup de foudre,” a lightning bolt. This concept is translated to “hawa,” or wind in Arabic, “yuanfen,” a fated force, in Mandarin, and “koi no yokan,” in Japanese, which is the feeling when you meet someone you are bound to fall in love with.

Attraction is not just about whimsical feelings from your heart, though. It is caused by biological processes, evolutionary development, and social context.

The latest research lays out four pillars of attraction. Along with physical appearance, there is also the idea of proximity; we are drawn to people who we are spatially close to or see often, like a neighbor or a classmate.

Another aspect is similarity. We like people who have the qualities that we value in ourselves. The “opposites attract” concept is erroneous because people who are different from us and have different values than us, like political beliefs, often cause us discomfort.

The last pillar, reciprocity, refers to the fact that we want partners who return our expressions of intimacy; this could look like someone who opens up and shares something deep about themselves when you have done the same.

The senses also play a role. The nose, for example, picks up natural

chemicals called pheromones which reveal physical and genetic information about the source and invoke physiological or behavioral responses in the recipient.

One study showed that men produced more testosterone when they smelled an ovulating woman.

This increase in testosterone can encourage a male to approach a female that they might not have noticed otherwise. Men also have been shown in studies to be more attracted to pictures of women’s faces when they’re ovulating.

Women look out for Major Histocompatibility Complex (MHC) molecules, which fight disease.

Research showed that women

preferred shirts with odors of men who had MHC molecules that were different from their own. This would result in genes with a wider set of immunities, which would benefit offspring. Additionally, women who are at the fertile phase of their menstrual cycle tend to prefer men with more symmetrical faces.

Touch also plays a large part in the process. Participants in a study were asked to hold a hot or iced cup of coffee before reading a passage about a fictional character. Those who held the hot coffee perceived the person in the story as happier, more social, more generous, and better natured,

Greta Dubois @greta.a_art

CLASSIFIEDS

while the iced coffee group thought of the character as cold, stoic, and unaffectionate.

The first kiss is a vital moment with an “exchange of tactile and chemical cues,” like the smell of your breath and the taste of your mouth, according to biology professor Dawn Maslar. A majority of men and women have noted that they lose attraction to someone after a bad first kiss.

Although visual beauty standards vary across cultures and eras, signs of good health and fertility, like long hair and smooth skin, are often found attractive across these lines. That said, drawing correlations between attraction and evolution must be done carefully.

“The media has a huge influence over what we find attractive,” lecturer Nicole McNichols, who teaches PSYCH 210, The Diversity of Human Sexuality, said. “For example, in Western culture, we tend to be bombarded with images of extremely thin, perfectly airbrushed celebrities who have teams of trainers, stylists and make up artists at their beck and call. This presents a very unrealistic idea of what beauty is that is achievable by only about .000001% of the population.”

In the animal world, males are the ones in most species that have to amplify their appearances to attract females. For humans, however, it was found that men care more about the attractiveness and youthfulness of female partners in a study of 37 cultures around the world.

Younger means more fertile,

which will mean more babies for the men to pass their genes onto.

On the other hand, women cared more about the financial capacity — ambition or industriousness of their partners — which translates to the ability to support their children.

A study of Tinder profiles supports these ideas. Straight women were more likely to take their pictures from above, which made their forehead and eyes look big and everything else look smaller, signaling youth and fertility. Men, however, were more likely to take selfies from below, making them look taller and more dominant, which relates to the ability to find resources in the animal world, and wealth in the human world.

Parts of attraction are due to biological processes and social contexts that we often cannot control, but regardless, attraction isn’t predetermined. We have agency over many aspects, like proximity and how much we reciprocate, so get out there and start attracting.

Reach writer Tiasha Datta at specials@dailyuw.com.

Twitter: @TiashaDatta2

Greta DuBois @greta.a_art

ANNOUNCEMENTS

Insight Space is looking for participants of various regional ethnicities to evaluate a consumer electronic product. $100 thank you for 45-minute session, in-person in Seattle.

Research purposes only.

For more information email research@insightspace.com Pre-qualify here: https:// research.insightspace.com/ pages/survey10857.asp HELP WANTED OVER 18

Associate Dentist wanted We are a private practice located in Roseburg, OR. We are an enthusiastic, goaloriented, highly trained team with a desire to mentor.

Email resumes to makenzie@ drrandol.com. Visit us at www.

DrRandol.com.

River guide training starts second full weekend of April.

Six consecutive weekends, commercial river riding work in the summer.

(206)-448-7238, (509)-6687238 www.riverrider.com. Course cost: $400.

Washington State Fair in Puyallup seeks digital archivist and graphics support. Ideal keystone or research project for self-motivated museology or library science student.

Paid, part-time position.

For job description contact: patty@thefair.com HELP WANTED

TRANSFER PATIENT NEEDED. SHOPPING, OTHER ERRANDS 5 DAYS A WEEK. OWN CAR, OWN HOURS 425.998.3838

ONLINE

dailyuw.com/classifieds ROOMS FOR RENT

Free room in Green Lake townhome plus $650 monthly pay in exchange for parttime childcare of a 10 year old 1 to 2 weekends a month and 3 evenings a month.

Your weekdays would be open for classes and you would be able to study at least part of the time while providing childcare. Having transportation is a plus but not necessary. Call 360-4838325 for more information or questions. ** 2 Blocks to campus ** www.RoomsAndApartments. com Private leases, locking doors, weekly cleaning service, parking, furnished kitchens, updated houses. Local and family owned.

EMAIL

ads@dailyuw.com

ECONO - ROOMS FOR RENT; $500 - $700; Walk from 16th Ave, 17th Ave; Nice compact rooms, shared baths; Water + electric paid mltnwlch3@yahoo.com FURNISHED HOUSES

Leasing for fall 2020.

Furnished houses 7 and 9 bedrooms houses $6500 and $8500. Off street parking, great locations! Call for addresses and showing times.

Catherine 425-442-4553 UNFURNISHED HOUSES

11 BR Home in quiet residential neighborhood. Easy walk to campus. 3 remodeled bathrooms, 2 remodeled kitchens, 3 free parking spaces, 2 free laundry areas.

New appliances throughout.

CALL

(206) 543-2336

Avail 9/1/20 for 20-21 school year. $9475 / mo plus monthly estimated utilities. Photos: uwrental.shutterfly.com Contact Karen 206.979.3221

@

UNFURNISHED APARTMENTS

Norman Arms Apartment 5035 15th Ave NE (Near UW). $1250/month with water, sewage, garbage included.

Available now.

206.939.0319 CollegePlaceApts.com

Sex Edition 2020 13

THE DAILY

Sex-positive media

Our recs for learning more about the thing we’re taught nothing about

By Charlotte Houston and Mira Petrillo The Daily BOOKS

American Hookup: The New Culture of Sex on Campus

by Lisa Wade When I read this book my freshman year of college, I was basically doing therapy with myself through annotations in the margins. I had a lot of questions about casual sex, and this book gave me *Billy Ray Cyrus voice* much to think about. It’s written by a sociologist who used interviews with her students to construct a narrative of what hookup culture looks like on college campuses, including the reliance on alcohol, the “ban on warmth,” and the surprising amount of students who don’t actually want to participate in all this but feel the pressure to nevertheless.

Sexual Citizens: A Landmark Study of Sex, Power, and Assault on Campus by Jennifer S. Hirsch and Shamus Khan

This book, released in January, is full of groundbreaking sociological research that took place on Columbia’s campus. They were primarily researching sexual assault on college campuses, but it still has some extremely juicy explorations of the way that college-aged students conceive of actual sex (since rape and sexual assault should not be considered sex). This book, like American Hookup, is based largely on qualitative data through interviews with actual students and, combined with its recency, makes for a vibrant and realistic representation of the way real students experience sex at college. Many of these stories are about assault, but many of them are about joyful and pleasurable sex as well; a lot of them delve into that gray area in between.

Three Women by Lisa Taddeo

Sex is one of those things that we don’t get a lot of real representations of. There are romanticized movie and TV show scenes that tend to show us the same variation of an unhelpful script, and then we have our friend’s stories, but other than that, we’re pretty much left to our own devices to experience sex. This book is a non-fiction account of three different women’s sex lives told from a journalist who inserted herself into their lives for months. It’s incredibly detailed, intimate, gripping, and unlike any other representation of sex that I’ve ever read.

Come as You Are: The Surprising New Science that Will Transform Your Sex Life by Emily Nagoski No one is normal, and therefore everyone is normal — that is the main takeaway from this book. It’s amazing for anyone, but especially femalebodied people, who might be struggling to embrace their sexuality, with a form of sexual dysfunction, or orgasm (with or without a partner).

Or maybe you just have a hard time feeling comfortable with sex in general. Almost all of us were raised to fear sex in some way or another, and this book is a fantastic crash course on unlearning that fear we may have internalized of our own body. There’s even an appendix that teaches you how to edge while masturbating.

SHOWS

Sex Education

I LOVE THIS SHOW. People told me it was good, I didn’t believe them.

I was wrong. This show is all about sexual dysfunction, and it shows all the awkward and sad ins and outs of identity when you’re a teenager and the way intimacy complicates all of that. This is also the first time I’ve ever seen a character in a show who experiences pain during sex and it’s not just brushed off. It’s a masterpiece in tenderness.

Chriastine Amanpour: Sex and Love Around the World

This is an awesome journalistic docu-series that looks into the way sex is experienced in different countries around the world. Christine Amanpour examines the different norms on public displays of affection, gender identity, and marriage, which calls into question all of the western norms that we see as so binding. It’s a good way to get out of your head.

Lydia Ely The Daily

Sex Explained

This Vox special on Netflix delves into fantasies, attraction, fertility, and more.

The episodes are bite-sized at around 16-18 minutes, and it’s basically like a really wellproduced, well-researched Youtube video.

The regular Netflix Explained series has an episode on female orgasm, which kept me and my friends up late into the night discussing all 18 minutes of it. It’s also a great place to collect fun facts to chuck out at parties.

PODCAST EPISODES

The Sexually Liberated Woman: Ep. 11: Our Polyamorous Relationship This episode offers a great introduction to non-monogamous relationships and what potential they may open up. In the episode, host Ev’Yan talks with her husband of 10 years about what opening up their relationship taught them and how they dealt with jealousy and other difficulties around their partnership. The podcast also

features other episodes on topics including decolonizing desire, sex and cannabis, and male sexual liberation.

Bobo & Flex: Hookup Culture: Dating Etiquette, Soul Ties & Who Benefits?

This podcast episode discusses a critical question in the sex-positivity movement: Is hookup culture ruining or liberating us?

The conversation is a big one, but Bobo & Flex provide an apt intersectional feminist analysis of our current moment and offer tips on how to decipher between the broad spectrum of hookup experiences. If you need more convincing, their channel description reads: “Bobo and Flex are on a quest to decolonize our minds, intersect our feminism, but most importantly, give us the tools necessary to stay away from problematic boys!”

Reach Special Sections Co-Editor Charlotte Houston and Editor-in-Chief Mira Petrillo at specials@dailyuw.com

14

THE DAILY

Sex Edition 2020

Vivian Mak @vivianlmak

Shall I compare thee to a summer’s eve?

‘This is the ideal vaginal scent. You may not like it, but this is what peak performance smells like’

By Mac Murray The Daily Earlier this month, Gwyneth Paltrow’s infamous bougie wellness website goop released a scented candle provocatively titled “This Smells Like My Vagina.” The $75 candle sold out rapidly and is currently going for upward of $200 on eBay, a reaction I partly understand — who wouldn’t want to own a candle that smells like a vagina? Think of all the possibilities for your next dinner party, or wedding.

Here’s the description of the candle on the website (I’ll spare you the click, since I’m trying to atone for the amount of traffic I gave goop while researching this article): “With a funny, gorgeous, sexy, and beautifully unexpected scent, this candle is made with geranium, citrusy bergamot, and cedar absolutes juxtaposed with Damask rose and ambrette seed to put us in mind of fantasy, seduction, and a sophisticated warmth.”

If you don’t know what

any of those words mean, have no fear: this is what my English major is for.

Geranium is a flower whose scent is described by presumed perfume experts in an online forum as “green and slightly peppery”; bergamot is the scent that gives Earl Grey tea its flavor; cedar is a tree; Damask rose, as far as I can tell, is a special fluffy kind of rose for rich people (disappointingly less vaginallooking than a regular rose); ambrette seed “gives woody, musky and slightly floral notes to perfumes.”

Frankly, this candle seems like it would smell amazing — like a fancy English garden at dusk. But it doesn’t really seem like it would smell like a vagina. Vaginal smell can vary widely from person to person, but it’s never naturally floral.

“There isn’t a set standard for vaginal odor and it can change throughout the day depending on many factors such as: exercise/activity levels, engaging in penetrative intercourse, menstruating[,]

etc.,” Rachel Gelman, a UW alum and the Bay Area regional director for the Pelvic Health and Rehabilitation Center, said over email. “The vagina contains a lot of good bacteria that keeps it healthy and as a result can lead to an odor that may be sweet, tangy kind of like yogurt.”

“Frankly, this candle seems like it would smell amazing — like a fancy English garden at dusk. But it doesn’t really seem like it would smell like a vagina.”

Vulvas smell (and taste) like a part of a human body.

They can be musky, metallic, salty, slightly sweet, or slightly sour. They can smell strongly or not very much, or even vary depending on the time of day or what clothes the person is wearing.

All of this is the product of the complex chemical balance of the vaginal microbiome, which is usually pretty acidic, and the person’s hormonal makeup. The evidence that eating certain foods can influence the taste is pretty slight — but hey, I’m not going to stop you from enjoying that pineapple smoothie.

Of course, there are plenty of articles out there attempting to reassure people that their vagina smells “normal,” and all of them have the caveat “unless it smells like fish.” This article is not here to shame anyone for any fishy smells. After all, even infection is a natural, normal function of the human body.

But it also sucks and can be a serious health problem, so — no shame attached — please go see a doctor.

“Some odors that would warrant a trip to the doctor and can indicate an infection can include: a strong fishy or foul smell or a scent like yeast or bread,” Gelman said. “If a person is also experiencing vaginal/vulvar itching, vaginal discharge, pelvic pain or anything that doesn’t seem right they should see their doctor.”

If you’re experiencing any of the above, you can see a provider at the Hall Health women’s health clinic (they will treat anybody with a vagina — not just women) or any other practitioner you feel comfortable with.

Otherwise, a basic hygiene routine is totally sufficient.

This doesn’t include douching or “feminine wipes,” which can mess with your microflora.

In fact, it doesn’t include cleaning inside the vagina itself (the internal part) at all.

You should be cleaning your vulva though, which includes the external parts and all the

bits between the labia. Warm water should do the trick; or maybe use some unscented, gentle soap if you’re feeling practical and fancy.

Vaginal odor can be embarrassing, especially if you feel like yours is especially pronounced or deviates from the “standard.” But it can also be sexy in the right context.

Look, I’m no Thirst Trap writer, but the one piece of sex advice I’ll offer here is to not worry about how you smell: if your partner is into you (and you practice good hygiene habits), they will be into how every part of you smells and tastes. If they try to make you feel bad for your particular non-floral scent, they probably don’t deserve to be up in your bouquet anyway. goop did not respond to my request for comment on its “This Smells Like My Vagina” candle, so I hope you will take this article as a thorough review of that product, which I have never seen nor smelled.

In a way, I want to thank goop’s description of the candle — floral notes aside, it can be helpful to remember that real vaginas can smell “funny, gorgeous, sexy, and beautifully unexpected.”

Reach Health & Wellness Editor Mac Murray at specials@dailyuw.com.

Twitter: @merqto

Sex Edition 2020 15

THE DAILY

What sex toy are you?

By Zoe Lunderman The Daily

If you answered…

1. If you had to listen to one band, or artist, for the rest of your life, what would it be? a. AC/DC — who doesn’t love rock ’n’ roll b. King Princess — she’s amazing. c. Vance Joy — I’m still listening to “Riptide” on repeat. d. Rihanna — she’s my icon.

2. What’s your favorite place to eat on the Ave? a. Memos — the best drunk food around. b. Cafe Allegro — coffee and newspapers on a stick, what more could you want? c. Byrek & Baguette — plants and sandwiches make for the perfect vibes. d. Thaiger Room — the spicier, the better.

3. You have a final to cram for, where is your ideal study spot? a. Paccar Hall — home of Foster Business and hot frat boys. b. The Suzzallo Reading Room — the Harry Potter atmosphere sells it. c. Parnassus — there’s nothing better when you need to get creative (and check out what the hip freshmen are wearing nowadays.) d. Odegaard — because you love to sleep there.

4. What’s the most embarrassing thing you’ve done at the UW? a. I puked at a frat party, but it was definitely only once. b. I slipped and fell while walking across Red Square, who knew that bricks could be that slippery when wet? c. I stepped in goose shit in the Quad, you’re lying if you haven’t. d. Once I arrived sweaty and out of breath for class because my last one was on the other side of campus.

5. Which of these traits is the most important in a partner? a. A nice butt, if I’m being completely honest. b. Being politically aware is a major turn-on. c. Saving the turtles is sexy, and by that I mean, I want some who cares about the environment. d. An active lifestyle because I want to be held by strong arms.

6. How would you describe your sex life? a. Adventurous. b. When I have sex, it’s good c. Lol, what sex life? d. I try something new every time.

Mostly “A,” you got ANAL BEADS What can you say, you go hard or go home.

You are sometimes apprehensive of new experiences, but when you find something you like, you aren’t afraid to commit to it. You might be a bit of a mess, but honestly, who isn’t? Buckle in and enjoy the ride, and make sure you savor every moment.

Mostly “C,” you got A SOLAR-POWERED VIBRATOR You love to fly solo, but you also care about the planet. Some people might call you an eco-warrior, but hey if you can save the planet, and have fun while doing it, it’s a win-win.

You love nature and the outdoors, but you prefer to do things on your own. When you are with your friends, the break makes it twice as fun. It’s easy for you to isolate yourself, so make sure you connect with others that share your passions.

Mostly “B,” you got A STRAPON You are unapologetically you — confident, caffeinated, and no one can bring you down.

Some people might be intimidated by you, but that’s their loss, not yours. You have a near-perfect work-life balance, and all your friends would say you have your shit together.

But be careful, your confidence can easily turn into cockiness, and that is not attractive to anyone. Stay humble.

Mostly “D,” you got HANDCUFFS Sticks and stones may break your bones, but chains and whips excite you. You are afraid of (almost) nothing, but you also believe in setting healthy boundaries for yourself and with others. You are always down to try something new and you have tons of great stories to tell because of it. Remember not to overextend yourself — balance is key to everything.

Anna Schnell @artistannaschnell

M.A. in Outdoor and Adventure Leadership

The M.A. in Outdoor and Adventure Leadership combines professional and practical educational experiences to develop exceptional Christian leaders in churches, camps, and colleges. Join a global community with a passion for adventure and experiential learning.

wheaton.edu/MA-Adventure

16

THE DAILY

Sex Edition 2020

Dawg Deals Why wait for expensive drinks? $1 Drip Great Espresso Red Bull Italian Sodas

The only independent cafe on campus is in Henry Art Gallery.

City Grind acknowledges that we are on Occupied Duwamish Territories.

THE DAILY

@hubgamesarea

HUB GAMES

And remember, we’ve always got Located below the Husky Den Food Court drip coffee for just a buck.

50% OFF BOWLING

FREE PC GAMING

Before 4pm, recieve 50% off one bowling session for up to 6 bowlers (limited to one lane). Valid Monday to Thursday only. Not valid with any other offers. One coupon per visit.

Get one free hour of PC Gaming in the HUB Esports Arena. Not valid with any other offers. One coupon per week.

Independently owned and operated since 1991.

Expires 03/20/20

Expires 03/20/20 For more information visit hubgames.uw.edu

Deck out your digs for dollars

3 coupon spots available $100 per week Winter Quarter 2020 THE DAILY ADVERTISING 206.543.2336 | ads@dailyuw.com

10

$

Students & the general public

Shop Tuesdays, 12 - 6 pm

uwsurplus.com | 206.685.1573 | 4515 25th Ave NE