The Diamondback, April 1, 2019

Page 1

staff editorial Importing rats to eat mold in dorms was a good idea. Importing snakes to eat the rats is not. pg 24

major developments Business school to offer new major in pot farm management, pg 69

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ISSUE NO. 4, OUR

‘Shit, sorry I’m late’ Ty Dolla $ign finally arrives at Maryland Stadium, DIVERSIONS, PG 13B

20th YEAR

‘X’ Tiborae dendaest aritate aut aes sitatus sundae nis qui corende. SPORTS, PG 12

Monday, April 1, 2019

‘A Maryland legend’ Football donors to fund DJ Durkin statue outside Maryland Stadium, SPORTS, PG 4a

stem cuts

Comp sci eliminated, Iribe to become dorm All 3,404 computer science majors will be required to switch into humanities The University of Maryland announced Monday that it will eliminate the computer science major and repurpose the Brendan Iribe Center for Computer Science and Engineering as on-campus housing. All 3,404 current computer science majors will be required to become English, theater or philosophy majors. The six-story, 215,000-square-foot building will by

Courtney Fivemann @courtney5man Staff writer

have air mattresses and complimentary air conditioning installed for incoming 2020 freshmen, a university spokesperson said. “It’s honestly like they only want to keep HTML and MATLAB around,” sophomore computer science major Javon Script said. “I’m just really bugged about this.” Construction of the Iribe Center was mostly finished last October as the university brainstormed ways to deal with overenrollment. This led to the idea to cut the computer science

major and provide incoming students with a rooftop garden, outdoor seating, a cafe and a 400-seat auditorium, a spokesperson said. Although their main goal is for students to learn how to pronounce Brendan Iribe’s name by the end of the academic year, university officials believe giving freshmen a floor-to-ceiling window living environment with accessible, outletminimal lounge spaces will be beneficial to the first-year experience overall. “Having such big windows will help air out the dorm rooms,” university President Wallace Loh said. “This could help with, ah — those

gentrification

the iribe center will be converted to on-campus housing for the incoming 2020 class. file photo/the diamondback moldy dorms, you know?” Since only four classrooms and three study spaces were available to the public as of January, the formal dedication ceremony of the Center is slated to occur later this month,

when the university will officially reveal the conversion of study spaces into flex quads and classrooms into triples. Brendan Iribe could not be reached for comment.

pointless development

New light rail to connect UMD to Baltimore, run through McKeldin Lavender Line to have stops at Live! Casino The University of Maryland will Trey N. Trak be getting a new @iliketrains light rail line on Staff writer this campus, connecting Washington, D.C., to Baltimore. The Lavender Line will cut through the center of the campus, demolishing both the fountain on McKeldin Mall and McKeldin Library. “We figured everyone loved the Purple Line and the construction on campus, you know, so why not have even more construction?” university President Wallace Loh said. The new line will include stops in Laurel, Arbutus, Glen Burnie, Patapsco, Merriweather Post Pavilion, North Laurel, Jessup, the Live! Casino, South Laurel and Camden Yards. To compensate for the amount of construction, all remaining parking spaces on the campus will be destroyed, Department of Transportation Services director David Allen said. “Well, we’re the Terrapins, and slow and steady wins the race,” Allen said. “So, even if everyone has to get to campus a little bit slower, then in a way we’re still really winning.” Some students aren’t happy with by

A new AMAZON HEADQUARTERS will replace R.J. Bentley’s. file photo/the diamondback

Amazon HQ to replace Bentley’s bar Free UMD tuition, no taxes for all Amazon employees by

Greg Heffley @OGWimpyKid Staff writer

A new Amazon Headquarters will take the place of R.J. Bentley’s on Route 1 in College Park later this year, Amazon CEO Jeff Bezos announced at a press

conference Friday. After pulling out of plans to build a second headquarters in New York City, Amazon chose to buy out the popular drinking hotspot due to “its prime location along the most bustling street in College Park,” Bezos said. As a sign of appreciation of Amazon’s generosity, University of Maryland President Wallace Loh announced that all Amazon employees and their families will receive free tuition. Employees will also be exempt from state and local income taxes, Mayor Patrick Wojahn said. “I think adding some more business bros to the community will lessen the divide and tension between students and residents,” Wojahn said. The owners of Bentley’s could not be reached for comment. Four former employees at the establishment, who spoke to The Diamondback on the condition of anonymity, said the owners purchased a yacht immediately after firing their entire staff and announced they would not be returning from sea for at least three months. Loh held a meeting with Bezos before Amazon’s negotiations with Bentley’s owners. “I wanted to be sure Bezos understood how important Bentley’s is to the University of Maryland community. It’s every freshman’s favorite bar,” Loh said. “He assured me that he was aware. It didn’t seem to bother him much. But he knew.” Bezos couldn’t stop smiling and breaking into small bursts of sinister laughter throughout Friday’s press conference. “I just couldn’t pass on College Park’s offer to be home to the newest Amazon HQ,” Bezos said. “This city has everything. By moving here, we can feed into gentrification and prey on all the vulnerable graduates looking for any paid work they can find. Two for one!”

camden yards

merriweather post pavillion

live! casino south laurel north laurel

mckeldin mall

THE PROPOSED LAVENDER LINE would connect the University of Maryland to the city of Baltimore. image via google maps the proposed Lavender Line. Freshman business management major Matt Romney said he’ll miss swimming in the fountain at 2 a.m. after a trip to R.J. Bentley’s. “One Saturday, I lost my grandfather’s prized watch when I was swimming there,” Romney said, wistfully. “It’s all right, though — Saturdays are for the boys, after all.” Mikey Dukakis, a librarian who has lived in a study carrel at McKeldin Library for the past 18 years, said he’s looking at his options, including Alloy by Alta, Hornbake Library and a forced

triple in Wicomico Hall. “I’m lucky College Park has so many affordable options for housing,” Dukakis said. “I’m glad a young professional like myself can live here comfortably!” But some students at this university have voiced their support for the new construction. “I was tired of having to Uber to Camden Yards every time I wanted to see the Orioles get their asses kicked,” senior history and journalism major Carl Fiorina said. “Thanks to UMD, I can watch Chris Davis get a Golden Sombrero much more often.”

public relations

UMD announces ‘Fearful Ideas’ campaign ‘Maryland has just been a little too risky this year,’ President Loh says of new fundraiser T h e Un ive rsity of Maryland launched its newest fundraisi n g ca m pa i g n , “Fearful Ideas,” on Friday, in what President Wallace Loh deemed a “very reasonable, cautious step forward.” Loh made the announcement at a ceremony in Xfinity Center. Flanked by Gov. Larry Hogan, Chancellor Robert Caret, Board of Regents Chairwoman Linda Gooden and other state officials, he told the crowd of about 20 people that “Maryland has just been a little too risky this year.” “Before we start taking on these big societal problems that you see, like inby

J.T. Blair @jtblair_ Staff writer

equality and climate change, we decided as a flagship institution that we should get our own problems sorted out,” Loh said. “We certainly have a lot of them.” Among the campaign’s priorities are doubling the size of the university’s public relations staff, which Loh said would cost “somewhere around” $800,000, and prewriting press releases for future controversies. “[The releases are] like Mad Libs,” Loh said. “I think it will very much … streamline the process of apologizing for any other scandals that come up.” Hogan said this was “just a logical step to take” after the “batshit crazy year” that the university had. “I mean, just this year we had the

totally preventable death of a studentathlete and an entire dorm get evacuated,” Hogan said with a laugh. “God only knows what’s gonna happen next year!” The other goals of the “Fearful Ideas” campaign include moderate improvements to campus life, such as eliminating all insects from the salad bars in campus dining halls and adding three more napping pods to McKeldin Library by 2022. “[Athletic director] Damon [Evans], he said to me, ‘Well, don’t you think we ought to aim a little higher?’” Loh said. “And I said, ‘Well, Damon, as much as I admire your initiative, did you see what happened when we did?’” “As a president, I have to think about these things holistically,” he added. “I just steer the ship, but I don’t want it to sink, and all.”


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