050808

SINFUL CINEMA

TEWAARATON TWO Senior midfielders Dobbie, Kasper are finalists for national award

Good luck finding a laugh in the supposed romantic comedy, What Happens in Vegas

SPORTS | PAGE 12

DIVERSIONS | PAGE 7

THE DIAMONDBACK THURSDAY, MAY 8, 2008

THE UNIVERSITY OF MARYLAND’S INDEPENDENT STUDENT NEWSPAPER

H T I W G N I Y K S I N A I D S DR S I M

98TH YEAR | ISSUE NO. 138

Historic site status may hinder route Purple Line design may hinge on four old campus locations

BY CARRIE WELLS Staff writer

The debate over where on campus to lay the Purple Line tracks may be partially determined by history.

Maryland Transit Administration officials are studying how the transitway could affect the campus, and they found they might need to divert the tracks away from four parts of the campus that could be dubbed historic sites.

The Preinkert Drive alignment, which the administration supports, would run by Morrill Hall, which is one of the oldest buildings on the campus, as well as the Washington Quad and the Memorial Chapel.

Both the Preinkert Drive alignment and the more popular Campus Drive alignment would run close to

Please See HISTORIC, Page 3

Fee hike will likely hit students’ rent

ADAM FRIED–THE DIAMONDBACK

Daisy De La Hoya, of the VH1 series Rock of Love 2, pours drinks with a bartender at Santa Fe Café last night.

VH1 pseudo-celebrity visits Santa Fe Café

BY MELISSA WEISS Staff writer

OM Y OF VH1.C COURTES

“Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God,” gasped Jen Hilchey. With arms outstretched, the freshman engineering major screamed out to the reality star perched above her. “DAAAAAISY!” “You guys f---ing kick ass,” Daisy De La Hoya shouted into the microphone minutes later. “Let’s just get really drunk!”

Though De La Hoya’s appearance at Santa Fe Café last night did not draw as large a crowd as anticipated, those who were there rejoiced while being served drinks by and taking pictures with the runner-up of Rock of Love 2 with Bret Michaels.

The 25-year-old reality show star, who stands at a short 5-foot-3-inches tall, guest-bartended and entertained the dozens of fans who showed up last night to see the self-proclaimed niece of boxer Oscar De La Hoya, who, since the season’s April 13 finale, said she has been caught up in a whirlwind of publicity events at venues across the country.

Rock of Love 2 continued rocker Bret

City Council to debate, vote on landlord fee increase

BY BRADY HOLT Staff writer

ADAM FRIED–THE DIAMONDBACK

Eileen LeFurgy, Ashley Sharif and Charmi Oza (left to right) were among the students who posed for pictures with Daisy De La Hoya.

Please See DAISY, Page 2

Students who rent housing in the city will likely see their rents increase as the city raises the fees that College Park landlords pay.

The fees, which already run hundreds of dollars a year, will go up by about 10 percent as part of a routine adjustment, College Park finance director Steve Groh said. The fees were last changed in 2005.

Staff from the city’s code enforcement department made their case for a fee increase before the city council Tuesday night. The council will hold a public hearing May 27 and a vote will likely come this summer.

Groh said “a 10-percent increase in about three

Please See PERMITS, Page 3

Senior class gift rakes in big donations

A life of unexpected turning points

BY CARRIE WELLS Staff writer

Most of the major turning points in life happen by accident, said Kenneth Holum, who becomes chair of the University Senate today.

It was chance that he was stationed in

Washington when he joined the Navy, and he ended up spending the rest of his life here. It was chance that he was assigned his specific office in Francis Scott Key Hall when he began teaching at the university, and he ended up marrying the woman whose office was next to his. It was chance that he could only take history classes at the university

because of his schedule, and history ended up being his profession and passion.

“There’s a very important element of seeing open doors and going through them,” he said. “That’s why I decided when [current Senate Chair] Bill Montgomery called me

Please See HOLUM, Page 3

BY TIRZA AUSTIN Staff writer

A controversy about whether seniors should put their class gift contributions toward a new lounge for the Stamp Student Union hasn’t stopped students from giving.

Ryan Ples, a supervisor for the Tell-A-Terp fundraising center, said the controversy, which flared three months ago when some students argued the lounge was a waste of student donations, drew more attention to the gift. And in an ironic way, he said, it inspired more students to give to it.

Seniors donated $22,020 to the gift this year, a jump from the $14,650 the class of 2007 collected last year to build a park off campus. Ples said the

For the Univ. Senate, a 21st century upgrade New executive secretary takes aim at paper systems

BY JAD SLEIMAN Staff writer

Here’s task number one for the University Senate’s new executive secretary: Bring the esteemed body into the 21st century.

Despite the advent of Banureka Montfort

electricity, the telephone and the personal computer, the university’s main decisionmaking body still operates on a mostly dead-tree model, using paper to vote, circulate briefs and accomplish many other tasks that could otherwise be completed electronically.

The senate’s newly selected executive secretary and director, Banureka Montfort, plans on speeding up university politics by incorporating electronic technologies into the paperwork-laden bureaucracy.

Montfort has worked for the university

Please See MONTFORT, Page 3

Please See GIFT, Page 2

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Rain/70s

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News . . . . . . . . . . . . . .2 Opinion . . . . . . . . . . . .4

Classified . . . . . . . . . . . .5 Features . . . . . . . . . . . . .6

Diversions . . . . . . . . .7 Sports . . . . . . . . . . . .12

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THE DIAMONDBACK | THURSDAY, MAY 8, 2008

Page 2

TODAY

@M

ARYLAND

MONDAY | NEWSMAKERS

BEST of the BLOGS

Aaron Kraut

Playing for Pride...

MAY 6, 2008 – I know, I know. It’s one of the most annoying sports cliches ever, but with six games left — including tonight’s against Maryland- Eastern Shore — for the Terps baseball team, pride is the only thing left to play for.

This is the team’s first game after getting swept at Boston College, another disappointing ACC series in a season full of them. Barring a miracle, the Terps aren’t going to make it to the ACC tournament, and there were times this year when the pressure to make it there hurt them.

But now it’s not about pressure.

It’s just about that “pride” thing again among a few other goals: - With 26 wins right now the Terps can be only the second team in program history to win 30 games. The first and only time that happened was in 2002, when the team won 34 games.

–POSTED ON www.TerrapinTrail.com CORRECTION Yesterday’s story “New dining option may come to North Campus” misstated the terms of a Residence Halls Association bill. The bill would give students admitted for the spring semester the same housing priority points as those admitted for the fall. The story also misstated sophomore RHA member Mitch Amoros’s freshman admission status. He was a springsemester student.

Monday’s article titled “Blue crabs could quicken blood clots” incorrectly implied which professor runs the lab in which the technology developers met.

They worked in the lab of professor Srinivasa Raghavan.

Physics is Phun

Symphonic Wind Ensemble

Colloquium in the History of Technology

Carrying out physics demonstration experiments, 7 p.m., Physics, Lecture halls 1410-1412

Presented by the School of Music, 8 p.m., Clarice Smith PAC, Dekelboum Concert Hal

Professor Adas will discuss his current project on globalization, technology and the history of warfare, 4 p.m., Francis Scott Key, Merrill Room, 2120

TUESDAY | OVERHEARD

WEDNESDAY | Q + A

THURSDAY | BEST of the BLOGS

FRIDAY | SCENE + HEARD

De La Hoya looking for a fresh start DAISY, from Page 1 Michaels’ search to find a companion. His first quest, documented in last year’s Rock of Love, ended when the season’s winner, Jes, chose not to continue the relationship after the cameras stopped rolling.

The second season focused on 20 new girls, including a porn star, a reality show winner (Megan Hauserman of Beauty and the Geek 3) and several selfproclaimed musicians. In the second season’s finale, filmed in Cancun, Mexico, De La Hoya failed to secure the final “backstage pass” offered by the Poison lead singer, losing to television show host Ambre Lake.

During an hour-long reunion special aired last month, Michaels and Lake claimed to still be an item.

In a Rock of Love 2 episode in which an ex-boyfriend of each contestant visited the mansion, it was revealed that De La Hoya still lived with her ex-boyfriend of several years, Charles. De La Hoya maintains that her relationship with her ex is over.

“Charles is the bestest bestest,” she said in an interview at Santa Fe. “He’s every-

thing. But I’m moving to L.A. It’s time to start a new chapter.”

As a first step in starting over, she is currently working on a “tell-all” book, in which she plans to delve further into her occasionally rough past, in addition to her experience on Rock of Love 2. De La Hoya also noted in a backstage interview that she is working on a clothing line and a few “secret projects.”

Though she remained mum regarding the projects, she said her clothing line would features items that are “my style — sexy, not too high-end, rock ‘n’ roll and cool.”

De La Hoya also made mention of the many tattoos, “the things that are about me,” that adorned her body. She said two stars inked on her throat, in addition to the tattoo sleeve down her left arm, are in the process of being removed. The stars, clearly visible when aired on the show, were beginning to fade.

De La Hoya’s arm was covered by a black hoodie.

Those who came to the bar last night to see De La Hoya were excited to catch a glimpse of the celeb.

Hilchey claimed to be the first to see De La Hoya when she

ADAM FRIED–THE DIAMONDBACK

Rock of Love 2 runner-up Daisy De La Hoya toasts a drink with the crowd at Santa Fe Café last night shortly after she began guest bartending. walked in. “We made eye contact, and I almost fainted,” Hilchey, a self-proclaimed “Team Daisy” fan said.

Before taking a spot behind the bar, De La Hoya stepped onstage

next to the DJ and posed for pictures and chatted with fans.

Sophomore special education major Lauren Weber, who claimed to have watched every episode, was elated to meet De

La Hoya. “She’s hot and awesome and carefree, and Bret should have picked her,” she said. weissdbk@gmail.com

Senior donations up despite mixed feelings on gift GIFT, from Page 1 increase in donations will mean the union will pay less money to complete the project, which is estimated to cost $25,000. The lounge was originally conceived to include a flat-screen TV, sofas and artwork in a lobby in the Union. “[Students] are really buying into the fact that this is the last chance to give back,” Ples said.

“They see the significance of giving back in the other campus gifts around campus.”

Ples said the center also experimented with an incentive that rewarded students for paying with a credit card, and added that doubling the pledge request from $50 to $100 this year contributed highly to increased donations.

“We did that because we had a large and positive response,”

Ples explained.

But not everyone bought into the lounge idea. Senior journalism and Spanish major Melanie Lidman, a former Diamondback columnist, said she chose not to give to the foundation because the school could use seniors’ money for better causes.

“I chose not to give because it’s silly, I don’t want to leave a lounge,” Lidman said. “I don’t think I would have given a lot,

but I would have given something.”

Aryeh Rotenberg, a senior civil engineering major, said he hasn’t given any money to the gift and hasn’t noticed any of friends giving either. As he looks toward graduation, he said he’s focused on the high price of his out-ofstate tuition.

“Right now I’m not thinking about the class gift,” Rotenberg said. “Let’s just say it’s not on my

priority list right now.”

Still, Rob Toll, the commencement speaker from the senior class council, said students should be thinking about the university as they prepare to leave it.

“The purpose of the class gift is leaving something behind,” Toll said. “It’s all about representation. I was happy to contribute.” taustindbk@gmail.com

THURSDAY, MAY 8, 2008 | THE DIAMONDBACK

3

Strategic plan, alcohol policy on the agenda for new senate chair HOLUM, from Page 1 and asked me to become senate chair, I should probably say yes.”

Holum, a history professor who has served on the University senate since 2005, will take over as chair today.

The senate is a legislative body that consists of faculty, staff and undergraduate and graduate students.

The senate next semester will likely debate a prayer at graduation, the university’s strategic plan implementation, plus-minus grading and the “Good Samaritan” policy to reduce punishments for students who call ambulances for their friends under the influence of drugs or alcohol — all of which were brought up in this year’s session but never resolved.

While Holum stressed the senate is about “shared governance” and seeking opinions from the entire campus community, he does have a pet project in mind. He said he hopes to push forth a plan to address the way faculty are honored for excellent teaching.

“The university needs a much more coherent system of rewarding good teaching,” he said, adding that a plan to better reward professors for good teaching would be in line with the strategic plan.

“Other schools have more substance in their rewarding of good teaching. Why shouldn’t we be like them?”

Friends and colleagues of Holum say his laid-back, friendly personality will be an asset in his new position.

“Students many times are scared or intimidated to talk to a faculty member, but he’s very friendly and approachable,” said Roberto Munster, an undergraduate senator on the executive committee.

“Every time I’ve interacted with him, he’s been responsive to my concerns.”

Holum, 68, was born in a small town in South Dakota.

His father was a local politician, so he and his younger brother had the responsibility of taking care of the family farm, which Holum still owns and visits every few years.

After his small-town education — his grade school had one room, and his high

school only enrolled 140 students — he dreamed of becoming a professor. But those dreams were put on hold when Holum decided to sign up for the Navy, calling it his “duty.”

“All the other young men looked forward to getting assigned to war ships circling the globe, but I got orders to go to [Washington] D.C., so my first two years of my military career were in the Defense Department,” he said, laughing.

Finding his administrative duties “rather boring,” Holum enrolled in the university’s German department. He could only take night classes because of his daily work schedule, but the university didn’t offer any German classes at night.

In fact, there was only one course he could take, a graduate-level class in Roman history, taught by one of the university’s most famous teachers. He became obsessed with ancient Mediterranean history, eventually earning his doctoral degree from the University of Chicago before coming to work at this university in 1973.

Holum met his wife, Marsha Rozenblit, at work in 1975 and married her in 1982. They were both single and had offices next-door to each other.

Holum has been excavating the ancient city of Caesarea in Israel since 1989.

He has also served as director of the graduate, undergraduate and honors programs in the history department in addition to his senate involvement.

Rozenblit said the way he ran and organized the digs in Caesarea spoke well to his leadership style. There was one colleague of Holum who was “difficult to work with” she said, but he still managed to cooperate with the colleague and not lose his temper.

“Many times he would tell me about this person, and I would say, ‘Why don’t you yell at them?’ and ‘Why don’t you scream at them?’ and he would say, ‘What good would that do?’” Rozenblit said.

“He’s really good at getting people to work together, but in an intellectual way.” cwellsdbk@gmail.com

New senate executive secretary will look to modernize university politics MONTFORT, from Page 1 before as a coordinator with the physics department, which she helped bring into the digital age by setting up electronic databases and intranets that replaced the department’s mountains of tedious paper files and forms.

Her new position with the senate makes her a general guide to the members, charged with making sure senate business runs smoothly. She’s replacing Mary Giles, a senate fixture of almost a decade who recently moved to Massachusetts to take a job with the Brigham and Women’s Hospital.

“As a whole the senate

functions great,” Montfort said. “I think that some of the administrative processes could be streamlined.”

For instance, the senate still votes by holding up paper cards. Montfort said she would look at replacing that system with the same sort of electronic “clickers” students use to answer questions in physics classes.

“Right now, they hold up cards, and it’s kind of difficult in a room to count all those cards when you have 200 going up,” she said.

Montfort also hopes to help facilitate communication between senate committees, who often exchange confidential information, by establishing a secure intranet for

senators to exchange information and opinions.

“What I think I bring to the table is an awareness of technology,” she said.

“What I’d really like to do is bring the senate into the technological age.”

Because she is still new to her position, Montfort doesn’t have many concrete plans yet and still has to navigate the senate’s bylaws, which can sometimes act as roadblocks, like the mandatory use of an analog tape recorder during some meetings.

But her old co-worker in the physics department, Professor Jordan Goodman, is optimistic about what she can do for the senate.

“Reka is sensational;

everyone that’s ever worked for her feels the same way,” Goodman said.

“She knows what’s possible to do electronically.”

Aside from her technological know-how, Montfort brings an attention to detail and an ability to juggle complex tasks, said Arthur Popper, who co-chaired the search committee that selected Montfort.

“The senate does get inundated with lots of things all at once,” Popper said. “It’s very critical that the senate has someone who can deal with many different things, many different people and many different groups in a detailed way.” jsleimandbk@gmail.com

City to vote on fee hike this summer PERMITS, from Page 1 years is not ridiculous,” but the hike is being met with some groans in the city.

“I don’t know what to tell you.

That’s kind of crazy,” College Perk Coffeehouse owner Chris Gordon said. “It’s a lot of money.” The city considered challenging Perk’s liquor license earlier this year after Gordon refused to pay his occupancy fees, $210 for each of the six cabins he rents out on his property. That fee may now increase further to $230 each. He said he also pays $75 every other year for a county inspection and permit.

The fees are tied to the cost of the city’s code enforcement and are supposed to cover about half of the code enforcement department’s expenditures.

College Park Public Services Director Bob Ryan, whose department includes the city’s

code enforcement, said Gordon had not actually paid his city occupancy permit fees, which have accumulated over the last two years.

Ryan also said the College Park code enforcers do more than the county’s, and have to charge a higher rate to cover costs. “[The county doesn’t] conduct an annual inspection,” Ryan said. “They don’t respond to complaints as often as the city.”

“Code enforcement does a lot of work. There’s a lot of people over there. There’s a lot of expenses involved in operating code enforcement,” Groh added.

But Dave Dorsch, chair of the College Park Landlords’ Committee, said the city should find other ways of paying for code enforcement other than upping landlord fees every time the city needs more money.

“It’s unnecessary, that's the sad part about it. The city just

doesn’t use any good thinking on this kind of stuff. It’s all kneejerk reaction.”

Gordon said the added fees will result in higher rates for students renting in the city.

“Most folks look at it as only another 25 bucks, but, in the long run, these sort of things build up,” he said. “As those prices go up, so does the rent.”

Dorsch agreed that the renters would ultimately be the ones to pay.

“I think that’s a bunch of crap.

They definitely don’t need to [raise the fees]. Remember who pays for this, the people who rent the units,” he said Neither Groh nor Ryan anticipated strong opposition to the measure. There were scattered complaints the last time the city raised its fees, and a handful of landlords spoke to the council to no avail. holtdbk@gmail.com

Four historic sites could impact Purple Line route HISTORIC, from Page 1

Drive alignment would divide the campus, disturb sensitive the Rossborough Inn near Route research in nearby academic buildings and possibly endanger 1.

If the Maryland Historical pedestrians.

However, the Graduate StuTrust decides these places could be labeled historic, it would dent Government, the Residence likely force the MTA to choose Halls Association, the Student the Campus Drive route because Government Association and city it would have a lower impact on officials all have voiced support for a Campus Drive historic areas, said Mike alignment.

Madden, the MTA’s PurThe MTA’s findings ple Line project manager. will be released for The MTA is required public review in by federal regulations to August and will receive identify sites near the comment at a public Purple Line’s proposed hearing in September. route that could be conIn December, Marysidered historic. Offiland Secretary for cials have not completed Transportation John their report, but they are Porcari and Gov. Marconcerned that the four tin O’Malley will make sites could qualify. a formal decision on When the MTA comthe exact location of pletes its study, the Histhe Purple Line route torical Trust will look at — which will likely run its findings and decide if though the campus on the sites are in fact eligiits way from Bethesda ble for historic status, to New Carrollton — as MTA and Historical well as whether tracks Trust officials said. Even should be above or the Historical Trust deeming the areas eligi- –Mike Madden below ground and ble could impact Purple MTA PURPLE LINE whether to make variLine plans, since new PROJECT MANAGER ous sections light rail, heavy rail or buses, construction near hisMadden said. toric sites is restricted.

The MTA previously “Part of the historic impact has to do with what may said that Porcari would make a be in the viewshed of something final decision in September.

The MTA has been studying historic,” Madden said. “It’s not just if [the Purple Line] touches the impact of the Purple Line on or removes something historic. It the environment and historic also has to do with visual and buildings for the past few years.

Madden said they would also be noise impacts.”

Federal regulations require looking at whether the Purple the MTA to look at the project’s Line in any of its proposed impact on potential historical forms would disturb research sites because the MTA will be projects with vibrations or elecasking for federal funding, said tromagnetic waves, something Beth Cole, the administrator of faculty members and the project review and compliance administration have previously voiced concern over. for the Historical Trust.

The Rossborough Inn is the Cole said whether the sites are ever deemed historic ultimately oldest building on the campus, and Morrill Hall is the second doesn’t matter. “[The sites] don’t actually oldest building on the campus have to be nominated,” she said. and the oldest with its original “What [the MTA] is looking at is facade still intact. The Washington Quad was completed in 1944, eligibility.”

Administrators at the univer- and the Memorial Chapel was sity have pushed for the Purple dedicated in 1952.

Line to run along Preinkert Drive, arguing that the Campus cwellsdbk@gmail.com

“It’s not just if [the Purple Line] touches or removes something historic. It also has to do with visual and noise impacts.”

LIVIN’ EASY

JAMES B. HALE–THE DIAMONDBACK

Dozens of students play volleyball at La Plata Beach Wednesday afternoon. Summer is fast approaching with temperatures reaching the 80s throughout the day.

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THE DIAMONDBACK | THURSDAY, MAY 8, 2008

Opinion

THE DIAMONDBACK

STEVEN OVERLY

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BENJAMIN JOHNSON

OPINION EDITOR

OPINION EDITOR

Avraham Cohn

Staff Editorial

A tribute to 60 years of Israel

“It’s not so important who starts the game but who finishes it.” ~ John Wooden

H

is dark, Mediterranean skin, deep-set black eyes and freshly shorn skull are renowned characteristics of our bronze protector. Her long, chocolate curls, set against a soft olive complexion, turn heads and make boys wonder.

Their bodies — chiseled, firm and tanned from long days spent in the harsh Judean sun — inspire envy and admiration.

The iconic image of the Israeli soldier is one that instills pride in some while evoking great fear, and perhaps even anger, in others. The soldiers walk with honor and privilege, conscious with each step of the tremendous burden of their birthright.

The premature lines, forever etched in their young faces, belie their ages. Behind the staunch, fierce demeanor lies a deeply embedded sense of self-awareness. Under constant attack, Israeli society relies on the strength and determination of its soldiers to protect it. At 18, Israeli youth are immediately enrolled in the Israeli Defense Forces and are at the mercy of their superior commanders. Their service may range from serving on the front lines to battling terrorists in house-to-house guerrilla warfare.

As an American, it is overwhelming to imagine being forced into combat at such a young and vulnerable age. But what is far more saddening and disturbing is the absolute necessity of this mandatory system, as to have it any other way would be national suicide. The jihadist’s belief is propelled by a conviction that he is fulfilling Allah’s will. A group bent on murder and terrorism founded in religious conviction is an almost invincible enemy, especially as they will act with any means necessary. Israel must remain vigilant to counteract this.

On their long hours of patrol, the soldiers must constantly grapple with questions that can never be answered. The ever present “Why?” gnaws at the core of their very being. A question such as “Why won’t they let us live in peace?” is deep and all-encompassing. These students’ Zionistic impulses tell them, “It is good to die for your country.” This mantra, coined by Israeli war hero Joseph Trumpeldor, leads to more questions than it answers. For some, this patriotic mission is inspiring and moving. Others are disturbed by the inherent responsibility this sentiment imposes. Still, as these thoughts race through their minds, their bodies march forward, purposefully.

As these soldiers enter hostile territories, they do so with the realization that each corner turned may be their last. Each bullet nearly missed makes their adrenaline surge and quickens their heartbeats. The flash of a muzzle means it is go time, and with it a horrific awareness that this is for real, this is happening. And then, a comrade is shot. Recognition of death radiates from his face, and he whispers his last words, “Shema Yisrael.” He musters his last bit of strength to recite this prayer, affirming his faith in God and his destiny. The sight of a fallen soldier instills ferocious anger and pain in his brothers in arms. Their questions are unrelenting. Another family forever changed. Another precious life lost.

Lounging in this coffee shop, enjoying the clichéd yet soothing voice of James Blunt, I feel selfish and remorseful. I am overcome with a sensation of helplessness and inertia as my brothers and sisters risk their lives daily while I am merely “chilling” in the deep, leather chairs of Starbucks. Perhaps I am writing this in an unconscious attempt to alleviate my own ambivalence. Perhaps I seek to finally find answers to the questions I struggle with. Why was I born in America instead of Israel?

What is the role of the American Jew vis-à-vis Israel? What are my personal responsibilities to Israel?

My tribute to the Israeli soldier is offered with great admiration and respect. But for the chance of birth, I would have been among them. One thing I know for certain: They are my brothers and sisters, and I am proud.

Avraham Cohn is a freshman psychology major. He can be reached at acohn87@umd.edu.

Why, Gary?

T

he NCAA released its Academic Progress Rate football, college is merely a holding pen, classes are merely a this week. Surprise! The men’s basketball team nuisance, and the NCAA is merely a speed bump before they was at the bottom of the ACC in academic per- turn pro.

Gary’s right. Osby may not be an aspiring scholar of formance. If a player leaves the program this year due to academic ineligibility, the program Chaucer; Vasquez will probably never solve the Schrodinger equation in momentum space. Basketball is their greatrisks mandated cuts to its scholarships.

This is the APR’s claim to fame: It has teeth. If programs est skill in life. For seniors who have exhausted their eligido not meet its standards, they not only risk losing scholar- bility, there is little the NCAA can do to prevent them from ships but trips to March Madness as well. When APR was attending training camps during spring to enhance their draft prospects instead of studying for implemented, our athletics department their finals. created its academic support system in If this is the reality, why not admit it? which incoming basketball players have The athletics department Why not take a page out of Duke’s playas many as 14 hours of tutoring per week until they can prove worthy of studying should prepare basketball book (god forbid!) and set up a program to have players eligible for graduation in without a babysitter. players to graduate in December of their senior year? If they But, the team’s academic performance quit classes after the NCAA tournament has been lacking. seven semesters. (we’re being optimistic here), they’ll still Last year, one-third of seniors on the basketball team did not graduate. The year before, none of leave the university with degree in hand.

The danger in Gary’s antagonism toward education is it them did. Chris McCray even missed most of his senior season in 2006 because his GPA dropped below a 2.0, the mini- creates both an atmosphere in which players aren’t expected to take academics seriously and puts our basketball program mum necessary to participate in athletics.

How is it that these student-athletes do so poorly in the at risk.

When we lose scholarships, we can’t recruit, the team “student” part of their job description?

The game has changed. The NCAA was founded in 1906 to stinks, revenue drops, and we lose money for tutoring athprotect student-athletes from serious injury or death after letes. Failure begets failure.

If we changed our mindset, the basketball team could then-President Theodore Roosevelt’s son broke his collarthwart this negative feedback mechanism and sustain a posbone in a football game while attending Harvard.

Now, one of the NCAA’s biggest challenges is ensuring itive one.

But then again, they probably never learned that lesson in their athletes actually get an education while in school.

For many athletes in sports such as men’s basketball and introductory biology.

Our View

Editorial Cartoon: Mike O’Brien

We Want You!

T

he opinion page is looking for staff columnists for the fall semester. Applicants need no prior writing experience but must be able to write persuasively about issues relevant to the campus community.

To better serve our readers, we will be increasing the focus of the page on campus, city and state issues rather than ones of national or international importance.

Good opinion contributions do not merely react to news events, but offer readers analysis and perspectives that give them a deeper

understanding of the issues.

In this vein, we are looking for a heterogeneous applicant pool in terms of academic majors and personal backgrounds.

If you are interested in devoting time to researching and writing about these types of issues, please contact the editors via our recruitment email at dbkopinion@gmail.com.

The only requirement for application is the submission of two well-researched and persuasive columns totaling 700 words in length each. Please apply.

Letters to the Editor Bernstein is the epitome of a great speaker In response to Mr. Mahajan’s letter in Wednesday’s Diamondback entitled “Better luck next year,” I would be remiss not to comment about Carl Bernstein, an ideal choice for commencement speaker.

As commencement speaker chair, the class of 2008 and the university have charged the Senior Council and me with choosing a keynote speaker. After mulling over several worthy candidates, we decided an ideal speaker is someone who is not only well known and respected, but also someone who can appeal to multiple generations, a person graduates will learn from and our parents will admire. Mr. Bernstein is exactly that candidate.

We live in a time when use and abuse of presidential power has perhaps never been so high. Mr. Bernstein made his name reporting about the ills of such misuse.

Now that we are in an election year, his story and accom-

plishments have never been so relevant. The fact he is affiliated with the university only makes this selection better.

Furthermore, saying Mr. Bernstein is a very nice man who helped expose Watergate degrades his contribution to American history. The belief that many in the class of 2008 do not know who he is shows a deep distrust in the intelligence of the senior class.

If you seek to hear Jerry Seinfeld, I heard he might be playing in Atlantic City in the near future. If you want to be inspired by one of this country’s most influential citizens, I urge you to come to commencement and listen to the words of Mr. Bernstein, an honor that I will certainly never forget.

ROBERT TOLL COMMENCEMENT SPEAKER CHAIR CLASS OF 2008

Air Your Views The Diamondback welcomes your comments.

Address your letters or guest columns to the Opinion Desk at opinion@dbk.umd.edu. All letters and guest columns must be signed. Include your full name, year, major and day- and nighttime phone numbers.

Please limit letters to 300 words and limit

guest columns to between 600 and 700 words.

Submission of a letter or guest column constitutes an exclusive, worldwide, transferable license to The Diamondback of the copyright in the material in any media. The Diamondback retains the right to edit submissions for content and length.

POLICY: The signed letters, columns and cartoon represent only the opinions of the authors. The staff editorial represents the opinion of The Diamondback’s editorial board and is the responsibility of the editor in chief.

TIM HILLER Beware binding arbitration

I

f you’ve taken an introductory course in government and politics, you should be familiar with the fact that the Seventh Amendment to the U.S. Constitution guarantees the right to bring civil cases to court. Unfortunately, thanks to an abusive business practice that has become nearly universal, Americans are slowly losing their access to the civil court system.

Most, if not all, contracts nowadays have “binding arbitration clauses.”

These clauses are included on cell phone contracts, employment contracts, rental contracts, car warranties, banking contracts, credit card contracts and more. These clauses serve as notice that if you ever have a dispute with your contractor, you are waiving your right to take them to court and instead must take your case to a private arbitrator — and worse yet, they get to choose the arbitrator.

Corporations who utilize binding arbitration have the potential to bring thousands of cases to private arbitration firms. These arbitration firms don’t need to be told who to side with. Although it is difficult to study just how biased arbitration firms may be against the consumer due to the secretive nature of binding arbitration, one study conducted by the Consumer Group Public Citizen uncovers some startling results: “Consider the overwhelming success that First USA Bank, once a major credit card issuer, enjoyed due to the work of NAF arbitrators between early 1998 (when the bank began to force its credit card customers to use arbitration) and early 2000. First USA Bank was forced to turn over statistics on its arbitration cases to a plaintiff who sued the firm in an Alabama court, allowing the information to become public. The bottom line from these data was clear.

In the nearly 20,000 cases where NAF reached a decision, First USA prevailed in an astonishing 99.6 percent of cases.”

The arena of binding arbitration fails to provide many of the standard rules that our court system provides. As already mentioned, arbitrators’ rulings are secret and are usually only released through lawsuits. Arbitrators are not even required to issue written opinions if they do not wish to do so. Finally, and perhaps most importantly, there is no judicial review — the decisions of arbitrators are not bound by any previous rulings, even their own.

If you are sitting there and saying, “What’s the worst that can happen? So I get screwed over by the bank, what else is new?” consider the story of Jamie Leigh Jones. Jones was working in Iraq as a private contractor for Halliburton and claims that she was drugged, gangraped and falsely imprisoned in a shipping cell by her fellow employees. Furthermore, she claims she was told that if she sought medical attention, she’d be fired. Jones has filed civil suit against Halliburton. However, legal experts unanimously agree that Jones’ case will be thrown out. Why? Because there was a binding arbitration clause in her employment contract with Halliburton.

Jones will have to bring her case to the kangaroo court that is binding arbitration, meaning that Halliburton, and those who are accused of perpetrating such horrible crimes, may never be held financially accountable.

Binding arbitration clauses can leave you in the dust in other ways. Imagine every contract you’ve ever signed. Now imagine a dispute you might have with the contractor — perhaps a renter who refuses to refund a security deposit or a car dealership who refuses to honor its warranty. Binding arbitration takes your right to air your grievances and ensures that your case will not be decided in a judicious, fair manner.

At the moment, there unfortunately isn’t anything consumers can do, short of trying to haggle their way out of binding arbitration and putting themselves at the mercy of their contractor. Binding arbitration is so universal that you will be hard-pressed to find contracts which don’t contain them anymore.

This is my last column for The Diamondback, and I don’t want this issue to die here on this page. If you’re as outraged as I am about binding arbitration and want to protect your access to the courts, please visit www.nobindingarbitrationclauses.wordpress.com and sign the petition asking Congress to support existing legislation that would outlaw binding arbitration.

Tim Hiller is a senior microbiology major. He can be reached at thriller@umd.edu.

THURSDAY, MAY 8, 2008 | THE DIAMONDBACK

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temper your emotions with rationality and artistry.

You’re not one to be challenged without offering a counterchallenge of your own — be it in your professional endeavors or your personal affairs. You answer financial offer with financial offer, flirtation with flirtation, business with business and fun with fun.

You thrive on interaction.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22) — You can demonstrate your knack for rearranging the facts to suit your needs — but it may not be the best way to go in the long run.

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orn today, you have been endowed with more than your fair share of stamina and staying power, and this will surely hold you in good stead no matter what you may be doing at any given time; from short-term activities to long-term commitments, you will have what it takes to outdo the competition at almost every turn. This doesn’t necessarily mean you will prove a winner all the time; on the contrary, victory involves more than the ability to outlast your opponents, and you must work hard while you are young to tap into your true abilities and develop them to their fullest if you expect to shine as brightly as possible.

Also born on this date are: Melissa Gilbert, actress; Beth Henley, playwright; Toni Tennille, singer; Enrique Iglesias, singer; Peter Benchley, author; Ricky Nelson, singer and actor; Harry S Truman, U.S. president.

© 2008 UNITED FEATURES SYNDICATE

TODAY’S CROSSWORD SPONSORED BY:

To see what is in store for you tomorrow, find your birthday and read the corresponding paragraph. Let your birthday star be your daily guide.

I R E N E

FRIDAY, MAY 9 R E N T S

TAURUS (April 20-May 20) — You will be asked to take charge of things when more cloudy issues begin to obscure the real truth.

A X E

GEMINI (May 21-June 20) — Your protests may fall on deaf ears — unless you are willing to

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22) — Now is not the time to compromise; it is, rather, the time to stand firm and insist that others come to understand your point of view.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22) — You can complete a long-term phase of self-exploration and self-discovery, and begin making plans that can pay off handsomely very soon.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21) — You may have to wait for some further news or information before you can make the kind of decision your situation demands.

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CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19) — You’re sure to have a good time if you are willing to let bygones be bygones and overlook an unintentional offense.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18) — Some old ideas can be recycled and bring you closer to the dramatic success you’ve been after for so long.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20) — Steer clear of those who don’t seem to be satisfied by anything. Concentrate on adopting a more positive outlook — and sharing it freely.

ARIES (March 21-April 19) — You must keep your word, no matter how hard it may be. This will be a test that you can pass with honor — if you choose to take it.

Copyright 2008, United Feature Syndicate, Inc.

TODAY’S HOROSCOPE SPONSORED BY:

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33 34 35 37

55 Cookie man ACROSS 56 See each other 1 Free play 57 Seaweeds 6 Chimpanzees 58 Lipstick shades 10 False face 14 African antelopes 59 Bone below the elbow 15 Merry king 60 Formation fliers of rhyme 61 Low card 16 Auspice 62 Crest 17 Hippodrome 18 Parks or Ponselle 63 Stock or bond 19 Queen Anne’s — DOWN 20 Taxi rider 1 Work force 21 Amateur 23 Heavy-duty truck 2 Type of reef 3 “Ernani,” for one 25 Quagmire 4 Needle dropper 26 Operate (2 wds.)

27 Pesky bugs 5 NASA 29 Hideous counterpart monsters 6 Pungent 32 Expound at 7 Motel plus length 8 Failing that 33 As being 9 Traveling 36 Lasso companion 37 Pantyhose color 38 Over-the-counter 10 Wisdom teeth 11 Fridge maker buy 12 Splinter groups 39 Loud noise 13 Cypress features 40 Lysol target 41 Inflict, as damage 21 Hideaway 22 Shopper’s bag 42 Get a grip on 24 City transport 43 Egg — yung 27 Cranky person 44 Downhill event 28 Nods off 47 Some cavities 29 Moon or eye 51 Wheels, 30 Tibetan gazelle so to speak 31 LP speed 54 Scrape one’s 32 Galley mover shins

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THE DIAMONDBACK | THURSDAY, MAY 8, 2008

Classified RATES

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CALL

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TO PLACE YOUR AD, OR

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CLASSIFIED DISPLAY ADS • Larger Type • Sold In 1” Increments • One Column Wide • $32.00 Per Column Inch

DIAMONDBACKONLINE.COM All Classifieds and Classified Display ads will run on our online edition at no additional charge.

SPECIAL Run the same classified or classified display ad for four consecutive days and get the 5th day

OFFICE HOURS 9:30AM – 4:30PM Monday – Friday 3136 South Campus Dining Hall

DEADLINES The deadline for all ads is 2PM, two business days in advance of publication.

v m A

FREE! EMPLOYMENT

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Veterinary Technician Needed

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Apartments Sublets & Roommates List & Browse FREE! 1-877-FOR-RENT/ 201-845-7300.

Now hiring P/T evenings and weekends, and F/T M-F 7:30am-4pm. No experience needed. Apply in person: College Park Animal Hospital, 9717 Baltimore Ave., or call Joyce, 301-441-2547.

HOUSES/APARTMENTS. College Park. 2-6 bedrooms. 410-544-4438

House for rent: 6 bedroom, 2.5 bath house within minutes from campus, in Hyattsville for Fall: $2,900 + utl. 240-426-4355. Single room for summer: $500

ADMINISTRATIVE ASSISTANT/ CUSTOMER SERVICE Established Beltsville distributor needs dependable, self-motivated, articulate individual w/computer, internet and good organizational skills. FT employment for May graduates. FT summer employment w/PT hours during the school year. Good salary. Call 301-595-4627.

Outdoor job near campus. Start now. Full time and/or part time during the semester. 35 acre turf grass research facility. Needs help with mowing and maintenance tasks. Great environment. Convenient to courtyards and shuttle. .Call Dave 301-403-8195

$1200 a Week Possible!

Non-Sexual escort service is now hiring for escort positions. NO physical contact, no massage & no nudity expected. Girl Friday Escorts is now conducting interviews for slender, attractive ladies 18-35 years of age.

Applicants must possess their own vehicle and have a positive attitude.

High income to the right individuals.

Day and night shifts available. No experience necessary, we will train!

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Evening Callers Mon.-Thurs. 5-8 pm. Earn $10-25/hr. Great summer job.

Relaxed atmosphere. Mortgage company in Rockville, MD. Call 301-545-1181 x25, ask for HR. Earn $800-$3200 a month to drive brand new cars with ads placed on them. www.AdCarClub.com.

NY Deli, in College Park, is hiring delivery drivers, cashiers and cooks. Please call 301-345-0366

Wanted

All Textbooks www.BookHolders.com 1. Cash Now: most value for cold hard cash.

2. Advantage: Up to 3x times as much as Cash Now. Designed for students who want a lot more money for their books. Accept all books.

Extended Hours: Walk down and drop * May 9 to 14 your textbooks off at: 10 am to 8 pm 4509A College Ave. * May 15 to 22 (next to Papa John’s) 8 am to 10 pm College Park, MD 20740 * May 23 to June 3 9 am to 9 pm

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MATH/ ENGLISH TEACHERS. Summer camp.

Teach 1-12. Gaithersburg. 240-643-6325; mdlearningcenter@hotmal.com $15/HOUR. Participate in pre-launch research of a website. Upload pictures and videos. Work from home, get paid on campus. ContactWEBMASTER@DIDITZ.COM with subjects “info”

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Summer Employment Hiring immed. for P/T afternoon/nights + wknds. CLOSED SUNDAYS. Nice environment, family owned & operated liquor store for over 50 years. Students encouraged to apply. Must be 18 yrs.

Call EASTGATE, located on Greenbelt Road, 301-390-6200.

CAMP COUNSELORS needed for great overnight camps in NE Pennsylvania. Gain valuable experience while working with children in the outdoors. Teach/ assist with waterfront, outdoor recreation, ropes course, gymnastics, A&C, athletics, and much more. Office & Nanny positions also available. Apply on-line at www.pineforestcamp.com.

Commercial HVAC and plumbing company in Beltsville is seeking a full-time assistant to support the Senior Project Manager. Previous experience in the construction field and knowledge of mechanical systems and equipment desired. Necessary skills include: * Strong organizational skills and attention to detail * Ability to prioritize * Very good verbal and written communication skills * Experience with Microsoft Excel and Word This position offers excellent growth opportunities to the right candidate. Please send resume and salary requirements to: resumes@washingtonrefrigeration.com.

Office Assistant Takoma Park company seeking self-motivated individual to support small sales office. Business experience preferred. Must be multi-task oriented & dependable. Proficiency with Microsoft Office.

Excellent telephone skills. Flexible F/T or P/T weekday hours.

Resume to: creativefiling@aol.com.

Please include hours available.

TERRAPINSNEEDJOBS.COM paid survey takers needed in College Park, 100% free to join.

Click on Surveys.

GREAT JOB! AUTOMOTIVE SERVICE PORTER For busy GM service department. Full/Part Time.

Duties include shuttling and washing service vehicles Monday-Friday. Flexible schedule for students. For consideration contact Gary Citterman at Capitol Cadillac/Buick/Pontiac/GMC, Greenbelt, MD. Ph: 240-737-0361, fax: 301-441-2092, e-mail: gcitterman@ecapitol.com.

Now Hiring All Positions We offer great salaries, benefits including paid vacation, insurance plan, tuition assistance, 401K, meal plan & much more!

Apply in person: Arundel Mills Mall, MD, 410-796-0200 or 14601 Baltimore Ave., Laurel, MD, 301-470-4405.

$22/Hour Perfect Part-Time Job Paraplegic doctor seeks personal aide for evening assistance at home in Chevy Chase.

10pm-11pm. Call 202-872-8109.

WEB PROGRAMMER Rockville company has summer opening for entry-level PERL, SQL. HTML programmer. Send resume to jobs@ejpress.com Bartending! $250/Day Potential. No Experience Necessary. Training Provided. 1-800-965-6520 x116

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SUMMER SUBLET at University View. $600/month. Contact Abel at ajvan@umd.edu CHEAP SUMMER SUBLET South Campus Commons. One room for summer sublet. $500/month.

Contact Audrey at abarker@umd.edu.

Now Hiring Energetic and Friendly Servers! 4 Bedroom House We’re only a few miles away from the University of Maryland College Park. Please apply in person at 3480 East West Highway, Hyattsville, MD 20782 (best time is Monday-Friday 2pm-4pm). Come be a part of our team!

HTML/PERL/SQL Programmer Rockville, MD jobs@ejpress.com

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Last 30-60 minutes. Weekend ONLY.

Please contact Dr. Tian at wtian@hesp.umd.edu immediately.

Free Housing!

CHILD CARE

Free wireless internet. Free training/ classes, scholarship opportunities and tuition reimbursement program. Become a volunteer firefighter or EMT with Branchville VFC. Contact Jen Chafin at 301-474-1550 or www.bvfco11.com.

Summer Childcare needed in the Gaithersburg area for 2 girls (ages: 7, 11). Must be loving, responsible, and enthusiastic with recent childcare experience. 301-977-2230.

Galaxy Billiards Cafe

Cute detached 2BR w/basement & wood floors.

Updated bath, country kitchen & great yard!

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In Silver Spring. Nice, friendly servers needed. Outgoing personality.

Come into store to apply after 4 p.m.

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GET IN THE GAME! JOIN THE ULTIMATE PAID INTERNSHIP PROGRAM. HURRY ONLY A FEW SPOTS LEFT, TO EARN $ FULL-TIME PAY, WORKING PART-TIME HRS. $ FLEXIBLE SCHEDULES/OUTSIDE. $18-$33/HR. Adding U of M students to its Marketing Team. Will Train energetic, outgoing individuals the skills to earn top $$$. EXCELLENT RESUME BUILDER! And Summer Job! Call Todd 301-340-9404 or fax 301-576-5348.

2 BEDROOM APARTMENT $450/room, large living room, fully carpeted, washer, dryer, air conditioning, large kitchen, dishwasher, microwave, table, and chairs. Available 6/01. Call Randall at 202-526-4693.

FOR SALE Hold the Condo – Get the House!

HOME FOR SALE 1 Bedroom 1 Bath All Appliances Furnished with Households Living Room Dining Room Sets King Bed A/C DVD Near Public and UMD Bus Route Homeowners Monthly Fee Near Elem School Off-Street Parking Call 772-234-9941/ 772-538-3536 $130K OBO

FOR RENT Houses: 3 to 4 bedrooms. 1 block to Route 1 shuttle. From $1.200. 301-753-4301. landwardmd@aol.com

Within walking distance to campus. Rooms starting at $575.

New appliances. Washer/dryer.

Available immediately.

443-745-6575 House for rent. 9008 Adelphi Rd. Adelphi, MD. Minutes from UMCP. On bus route. Great location. Two story home. 3.5 bedrooms upstairs, kitchen, living room, dining room, bathroom.

Basement with 2.5 bedrooms, kitchen, closet, bathroom, and walkout. Contact Yesy 240-821-2053.

FOR RENT – College Park Single family home: 5 bedrooms, 3 full baths.

Washer/dryer & dishwasher. Off street parking.

Available June 1. $2500/mo. + utilities. Call 301-983-0265.

Townhouse: 3 bedrooms, 2 full baths, 2 half baths. Washer/dryer & dishwasher. Available June 1. $1800/mo. + utilities. Call 301-983-0265.

Rooms for Rent Walking distance 3/4 blocks from campus, large house, 3 bathrooms, 5/6 bedrooms, $475/$525 per room. Quiet and graduate students preferred. Available June 1st and/or August 26th.

301-422-2146, Sekip Sahin Summer sublet. 2 mi. from campus. $551 mo. utl incld. Furnished w/o bed + more. May 25-Aug 25.

410-409-4626 Single family home. 4 bedrooms, central a/c, laundry, large yard, fireplace. $1695/month. 2700 Hughes Road. 202-744-3656 or 202-686-5993.

Newly Renovated Laurel Condo 1 BR, 1 BA, water, garbage, dishwasher, near public transportation, new carpet, washer, dryer, hardwood floors. Available immediately. Discounts available. $1400/month.

240-498-8676 Summer rental. 3 rooms. $650/room. Include all utilities. Close to campus, 301-706-7496.

SQUEAKY CLEAN HOUSE Three large bedrooms, living room, dining room, office, den, kitchen with d/w, washer/dryer, microwave, table, and chairs. Available 8/01. Call Randall at 202-526-4693.

3 bedroom house. Close to campus. Summer only. $1900 includes all utilities. 301-706-7496.

Two Houses Left. Adelphi Rd. 1 block from North Campus Dr. 5++ bedrooms, downstairs kitchenette house, $3200; 5 bedroom house $3000/month including new a/c, utilities not included. Some off-street parking. Large private yards, washer/dryer, lawn care provided. Availble June 1 - early signing bonus. Contact Dr. Kruger - 301-408-4801 Very nice large house close to campus. Available summer and fall. 301-918-0203.

House for rent. Travis Lane. Great location. Very clean. Walk to campus. 4 bedrooms, 3 full baths.

301-332-7935.

THE VIEW. REDUCED 50% FOR SUMMER. FEMALE. 410-279-1499.

House for rent. Big, 5 bedroom, 3 full bath, a/c, dishwasher, washer and dryer. About 1 mile from campus. $2300/month. Lawn care included. Call Scott at 301-980-8567.

ROOMMATES Share nice house. Non=smokers, no pets. Walk to campus. 301-918-0203.

WANTED

ARCHITECTURE GRAD STUDENT Needed for basic architectural drawing classes for undergrad Architecture student in July. Please contact Amelia at BIOTRANS@AOL.COM.

Knox Box Apts.

SERVICES

One Block from Campus Call Now for Summer or Fall 2008 1, 2 or 3 Bedroom Apts. Available 301-770-9624 Email: gosia@pinstripeproperty.com

Paralegal - Will expunge your court records. DC, MD, VA. 301-565-2917.

APARTMENTS: 1 and 3 bedrooms. 7405 Columbia Avenue. 301-335-7345. ecb1985@hotmail.com HOUSE FOR RENT - 6 BR, 2 1/2 BA, W/D, walk dis. $3,400. Call Glenn (410)551-9959.

Two large houses. Walk to campus. One available in June, other in August. 301-918-0203 5 bedroom and 3 baths, cac, washer/dryer, garbage disposal, carpeted. 571-221-5105.

EDITING — Dissertations, theses, term papers.

Style manual experts. Call anytime.

301-474-6000

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MOVIES

REVIEW | WHAT HAPPENS IN VEGAS

An absurd plot, poor acting and few laughs mar Vegas

BY THOMAS FLOYD Staff writer

Comedies have a simple task: Make the audience laugh. For What Happens in Vegas, it seems everyone involved forgot.

Mired from beginning to end by an absurd premise, awkward dialogue and mindless humor, director Tom Vaughan (Starter for 10) has combined with Cameron Diaz (The Holiday) and Ashton Kutcher (The Guardian) to seemingly accomplish the impossible: Create a film with absolutely no redeemable qualities.

What Happens in Vegas follows two New Yorkers whose paths cross when they are forced to take unexpected detours in their lives. Joy (Diaz), a successful Wall Street trader, is madly in love with her fiancé, Mason (Jason Sudeikis, Saturday Night Live), but Mason thinks a marriage between them would never work. Across the city, the younger Jack (Kutcher) is an underachieving slacker whose apathetic ways finally catch up with him when his father, Jack Sr. (Treat Williams, Heartland), fires him from his job.

Uncertain, miserable and disappointed, Joy and Jack each resolve that a trip to Sin City will be the perfect remedy to their problems. When a glitch at their hotel books them and their friends (Rob Corddry, Semi-Pro, and Lake Bell, Over Her Dead Body) in the same room, the group decides to embark together on a frivolous night of partying on the Las Vegas strip.

When the pair wakes up, they realize they unwittingly tied the knot the night before and must deal with the consequences. But before they part ways, Jack just so happens to win $3 million at the slots with Joy’s quarter.

When they decide to split the money as part of their divorce agreement, however, a fireand-brimstone judge (Dennis Miller, Thank You for Smoking) absurdly sentences them to “hard marriage,” freezing the money until they prove they lived together for six months and attempted to honor their vows.

The central issue with What Happens in Vegas is the filmmakers made a movie about adult problems, but only used rudimentary humor. The slapstick comedy and personal hygiene jokes come at an unfathomable rate,

and though some films may be laden with comedic misfires, writer Dana Fox (The Wedding Date) has managed to pen a story that does not draw a single laugh throughout its 99-minute duration.

It’s simply bewildering to see how many gags featuring Jack peeing in the sink or eating popcorn out of his pants made it into the film, but the real question is how the outlandish plot became a movie in the first place. The storyline, which follows the Sweet Home Alabama formula of binding a successful New York businesswoman with a deadbeat husband, manages to create a contradictory situation where every narrative twist is somehow ridiculous — yet completely expected.

Audiences may also need their retinas checked after the amount of eye-rolling dialogue they have to endure. In one particularly stiff exchange, Jack asks Joy why she is wearing a sports bra. “It’s comfortable and supportive, like what a man should be,” she

MOVIE:What Happens in Vegas | VERDICT:

replies, adding she is saving her more intimate clothes for her “non-retarded husband.” Such conversations are all too common in the movie and make one wonder what Diaz, Kutcher or any other person who read the screenplay could have possibly seen in the project.

Kutcher and the perpetually annoying Diaz bring absolutely no chemistry or charm to the film. The movie sadly reduces the wonderful Sudeikis to exclaiming phrases such as “Shitballs!” and getting punched in the crotch.

As the opening credits roll, the soon-to-be disgraced names are displayed with flickering neon lights, which ironically serve as a fair metaphor for what the audience is about to see — a shallow, sputtering version of an attraction that should be much more appealing. If the film does accomplish one thing, it is that it proves the old adage: What happens in Vegas should, in fact, stay in Vegas. tfloyd1@umd.edu

1/2

REVIEW | THEN SHE FOUND ME

Finding true romance

BY DAN BENAMOR Staff writer

Then She Found Me is what a romantic comedy should be: a film with a genuine heart, rather than one with an unbelievable premise and an unrelatable romance between two supermodel-seeming actors.

Instead, Then She Found Me is a drama that you can believe and recognize as realistic.

Then She Found Me is the story of the struggles of April Epner (Helen Hunt, Bobby), an elementary school teacher who desperately wants a baby of her own. Her husband Ben (Matthew Broderick, Deck the Halls) isn’t quite as enthusiastic about the idea, and leaves her promptly after one last sexual romp on the kitchen floor.

She finds solace in a lonely writer named Frank (Colin Firth, The Last Legion), whose wife has just left him as well.

In the midst of their budding romance comes the revelation that a local TV personality named Bernice

(Bette Midler, The Stepford Wives) is April’s real mother.

Before it’s all over, there’s a pregnancy, a “torrid” affair and plenty of funny dialogue.

Hunt and her co-writers (Victor Levin, Win a Date with Tad Hamilton!, and Alice Arlen, The Weight of Water) adapted Elinor Lipman’s novel, but with one glaringly huge change: The desire of the protagonist to be pregnant, a huge part of the movie, was not in the novel. Nevertheless, the change works.

In most films of this genre, romance occurs between two beautiful, eligible singles, but that’s not the case here. While Hunt is a beautiful woman, she works very hard to convince you otherwise in the film. She looks conspicuously worn out, with wrinkles and no makeup. It’s hard to reconcile this image with the same woman who looked so attractive eight years ago in What Women Want. Likewise, Firth looks as if he just rolled out of bed for most of the film. Together, the pair makes for a refreshingly homey couple.

The film also isn’t shy about the desperation of the main characters. Both are middleaged divorcees, insomniacs and pretty clearly desperate for love — they’re not exactly easily digestible.

Then She Found Me is an actor’s film and, thankfully, Hunt and Firth live up to the challenge. Hunt is clearly working to sell us on her desperation and vulnerability as April, but she pulls it off. Firth is in his romantic comfort zone as the self-deprecating charmer Frank — he comes off as lovable.

Broderick, as man-child exhusband Ben, basically trots out his performance from The Producers, only dialed down about 1,000 percent. This turns out to be a good choice, as Broderick’s childish innocence allows his character to remain sympathetic despite his many flaws. Also dialed down is Midler, but even with her spunk tamped down she provides welcome energy. Her fast-talking character may come off as

COURTESY OF MOVIEWEB.COM

Helen Hunt directed, co-wrote and also stars in Then She Found Me with Colin Firth. annoying at first, but through a combination of the script and Midler’s performance, she settles down and is a lot of fun.

In some ways, this sense of fun is exhibited throughout the entire film. The opening scenes are a bit rocky, but soon enough the film gets into its groove and Hunt and Firth fall in love through some very funny scenes. A third act develop-

ment may strike some as a deus ex machina, but it may ultimately have been the best choice for the plot.

There are enough dramatic developments in Then She Found Me to easily fill its 100minute runtime. It has vivid characters and snappy dialogue, and it’s funny, endearing, moving and whatever other positive adjectives one

MOVIE: Then She Found Me | VERDICT:

could suggest.

Hunt had basically dropped off the Hollywood map after What Women Want, and while Then She Found Me won’t catapult her back to stardom, that might be a good thing. Here’s hoping the next film she makes is half as good as Then She Found Me. dbenamor@umd.edu

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THE DIAMONDBACK | SPORTS | THURSDAY, MAY 8, 2008

JAMES B. HALE–THE DIAMONDBACK

Sophomore Alex Schultz and the Terps have struggled and fallen out of contention late in the season, but they have one last hope in the ACC tourney.

Home field key for Terps in tourney SOFTBALL, from Page 12

ALLISON AKERS–THE DIAMONDBACK

Senior catcher Chad Durakis and the Terps put together a big seventh inning to put away Towson and earn their first win in the season series with the Tigers.

Local rivalry brought out best in Terps looking to avoid season sweep BASEBALL, from Page 12 Rupp said he knew his players wanted to avoid the season sweep. Both Jowers and Swinson said they didn’t want to lose to Towson because a lot of players have known each other for a long time, whether it’s through area high schools or summer ball.

“I know for our seniors especially, they’ve grown up

and played with a lot of guys on [Towson],” Rupp said.

“They said they’ve got to get this game so they can have the bragging rights from here on out, since it’s their last chance.”

After a three-run third inning thanks to back-toback home runs from Jowers and junior designated hitter Jensen Pupa, it looked as though the Terps were well on their way.

But Swinson gave up three runs in the top of the fourth.

After a sacrifice fly by Terp senior shortstop Joe Palumbo scored one in the bottom of the inning, Towson tied the game with another run in the sixth.

Swinson was relieved after 6 2/3 innings of work by sophomore Nathan Steelman, who earned his first career victory by ending the inning without any more

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damage.

Then came the pivotal seventh inning, in which the Terps scored three and backed up their weeklong desire to avoid the sweep against the Tigers.

“I just felt like there was no way we could possibly lose that game,” Swinson said. “We knew we had to beat these guys.” akrautdbk@gmail.com

But despite the result, the Terps actually enjoyed moderate success against Tincher, who pitched a cumulative 13 2/3 innings against the Terps and allowed eight hits and four runs. Still, Tincher struck out 32 and finished the weekend 2-0.

“We hit her the best out of the whole conference,” senior outfielder Jenny Belak said.

“She’s quicker than what we’ve seen the past few games, [so we have to] focus on putting the bat on the ball and hopefully it goes through [for a hit].”

The Terps will need to do well against her and the rest of the conference to keep their slim hopes of a postseason berth alive.

It was only two weeks ago that the Terps had their sights set on the upper half of the conference, but after two collapses against Georgia Tech and Boston College, the Terps’ only chance at the NCAA tournament is a conference title.

But Watten says her team is no longer concerned about the postseason.

“We don’t really have any pressure at all,” Watten said.

“What we’re focused on is not next week. We’re focused on Virginia Tech. I think the only pressure we’re putting on ourselves is to play well. We can do it. The girls need to believe that and they need to know that they can beat anybody.”

One thing working in the Terps’ favor is the venue. It is the second time in four years that Robert E. Taylor Stadium has played host to the tournament.

“It’s nice to be at home, in our own beds, in our comfort zone,” Watten said. “Also, to have a lot of our fans present, that’s what I think is going to be the best thing about the tournament.”

After Virginia Tech, the Terps will be playing either third-seeded Florida State team or sixth-seeded Boston College team, which plays at 10 a.m., due to the tournaments double-elimination format. If the Terps beat the Hokies, they will play the winner at 12:30 p.m. tomorrow; if they lose, they will play the loser at 8 p.m. tonight. jnewmandbk@gmail.com

THURSDAY, MAY 8, 2008 | SPORTS | THE DIAMONDBACK

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Magor, Adams have close bond MAGOR, from Page 12 meaningful to us.”

Magor’s on-field demeanor and career developed under former Terp great and current associate head coach Jen Adams. They even played together several times over the years.

Their relationship started when Adams coached Magor when she was about 10 years old. They later played together at the league level, the highest level of competition in South Australia.

And they played together on the Australian World Cup team. All of their past experiences together have set up an interesting relationship.

“It’s been really fun,” Adams said. “It’s been a great relationship. As a player, Casey is someone I respected, and we had a lot of fun playing together. We connect well on the field when we are both on the field as players. It’s a professional relationship. She respects me as a coach, and when we are out there as playing together it’s player-to-player. We have done a great job of being able to separate them.”

Luckily for the Terps, that connection was made because Magor has been a steady contributor on the Terps’ explosive offense.

Magor is a dangerous player,

despite being easy to forget playing next to Tewaaraton Trophy finalists Kasper and senior midfielder Dana Dobbie. Magor is capable of driving to the net with an array of moves and finishing on shots. And even with 26 goals, fourth on the team, her passing abilities have also developed.

“She is a very great leader and awesome player,” sophomore midfielder Caitlyn McFadden said. “She is really dynamic on offense, and she can go to goal.

She can feed, and she can do everything.”

While Magor has the talent to make and create plays, she is also one of the most cerebral players on the field. According to her teammates, she has uncanny awareness and a great sense of the game.

“She can read the play better than most college kids and even a lot of the adults I have played with,” Adams said. “She just has a wealth of knowledge and brings a great flair to the game.”

With her cerebral play comes a comfort level with the game. And as the Terps prepare for the NCAA tournament, that no-worries attitude will come in handy to help the team stay loose when the tournament begins.

JACLYN BOROWSKI–THE DIAMONDBACK

bkapurdbk@gmail.com

Senior attacker Casey Magor provides the Terps with an upbeat attitude along with a good shot and well-rounded offensive game.

Terp duo has combined for 107 goals from the midfield SENIORS, from Page 12

ALLISON AKERS–THE DIAMONDBACK

Senior midfielder Kelly Kasper leads the Terps in points and assists this year. Her efforts have been rewarded with a spot as one of five Tewaaraton Trophy nominees.

mates and our coaches. We are very lucky to get there.”

Kasper is the fifth individual Terp to be a finalist for the Tewaaraton. Dobbie, who was a finalist last year as well, is just the second two-time finalist in Terp history.

“I transferred to Maryland and I had never been in the ACC or in an NCAA [tournament],” Dobbie said. “For me to get nominated under those circumstances was just shocking. “ Dobbie was just as surprised this time around, although her glowing resumé should have made it a foregone conclusion.

The senior set the NCAA record for draw controls in a season with 114 and the career mark with 322.

She was also a 2007 All-American, 2007 ACC Player of the Year

and ranked as the third best player in the preseason nationwide by Inside Lacrosse.

“Some people come in and shine for one year then fall into the shadows, but she hasn’t,” Kasper said. “She has gotten better and better, and it shows that she is one of the best players in the nation.”

For Kasper, this is her first time as a finalist, and she was just as surprised and excited by the nomination.

Kasper has dished out 40 assists this season, seventh most in Terp history, was ranked the seventh best player in the nation by Inside Lacrosse in the preseason and is a two-time All-American and three-time All-ACC selection.

The last time a Terp won the award was 2001, the same year the Terps last won the national championship, when now-associ-

ate head coach Jen Adams won the Tewaaraton in its inaugural season.

“It’s huge just knowing that I am a part of something [Adams] was a part of,” Kasper said. “She is the best player in the world, and it’s just an honor to be a part of something that she almost started.”

With two teammates getting the nomination, both are excited about the ceremony and banquet May 29 “I would be excited for her and I know she’d be excited for me,” Kasper said. “Being there together is great for us because we can lean on each other and be there to support each other. We will go down there an just enjoy ourselves; its great to have someone there with you.” bkapurdbk@gmail.com

ADAM FRIED–THE DIAMONDBACK

Senior midfielder Dana Dobbie has scored 66 goals and set an NCAA record for draw controls this season en route to being named a finalist for the Tewaaraton Trophy for the nation’s best player.

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THE DIAMONDBACK | SPORTS | THURSDAY, MAY 8, 2008

Making his own name After years in All-American shadows, Joe Cinosky has become a star in his own right

BY ERIC DETWEILER Senior staff writer

Joe Cinosky’s passion for lacrosse was evident to Ray Megill as soon as they became Terrapin teammates three seasons ago.

Whether Cinosky was throwing his 225-pound frame into a hip check or trash-talking opponents, Megill, a three-time All-American who wrapped up his Terp career last season, loved the intensity that Cinosky brought to the defense.

“Joe was fun to play with,” Megill said. “There was always once a game where you had to hold him back and calm him down and stuff like that. It brought a different level of excitement to the game.”

But after logging time as the third defender on a starting unit that featured Megill and three-time All-American Steve Whittenberg for his first three seasons, Cinosky has had to use that passion to take more of a leadership role as the only returning starter on the Terp defense.

“Knowing that I was going to be the only starter returning, I put a lot of responsibility on my shoulders,” the senior from Boonton, N.J., said. “I took it personal and worked hard in the offseason and during the season, and I think it’s paying off a little bit.”

Cinosky has embraced his role as the Terps’ top defender this season, matching up with some of the nation’s top attackmen. Cinosky, who had not earned any postseason accolades during his first three seasons, has already earned All-ACC honors this year as the anchor of a Terp defense that has yielded just 7.7 goals per game.

After playing a more individual-based defense for three seasons, the Terps have implemented a team-oriented style of play this year, with Cinosky as the centerpiece.

“When you have guys like [Megill and Whittenberg] up there, it’s kind of easy to sit back and let them get all the attention because those guys are great players,” Cinosky said. “It’s definitely a lot different now because this team is a lot more of a closer unit and we work a little bit better together.”

Cinosky has also stepped up as a co-captain and vocal leader on the squad, delivering speeches to the team and firing up his teammates when necessary.

Fellow co-captain Drew Evans said Cinosky’s combination of vocal leadership and leading by example have proved to be his greatest assets to the team. Ryne Adolph, a co-captain who has stepped into a starting spot on the defense this season, said Cinosky takes the pressure off the other captains by taking charge of the team.

But Cinosky has not always been the motivator and communicator he is today according to Whittenberg, who now plays for Major League Lacrosse’s Chicago Machine.

Cinosky entered the starting lineup in the middle of his freshman season after an injury to then-senior Gavin Webb. Although Cinosky has now logged 53 career starts, Whittenberg said he had a few things to learn.

“His first year or two he was not very vocal,” Whittenberg said. “It took a couple kicks in the butt to get him to start talking, but he turned it around.”

But his play throughout his career has been more consistent. This season, he’s put up the best numbers of his career — 41 groundballs and 27 caused turnovers — while consistently matching up with the opponent’s top scoring threat. Against Johns Hopkins on April 12, that meant staying with Tewaaraton Trophy finalist Paul Rabil. Rabil is a midfielder, but coach Dave Cottle said Cinosky was the only Terp he thought had a chance against Rabil.

After three seasons tracking the opponent’s third most dangerous option, Cinosky has relished the opportunity to be his team’s lockdown defender.

“That’s kind of crazy when you think about it,” Cinosky said. “It’s cool to be able to compete with those guys because they’re great players. It’s something I definitely enjoy doing.”

Cottle called Cinosky the best player on the team this season and said he’s deserving of first-team All-American honors. His play has helped the Terp defense find its identity and adjust to its new style. A question mark coming into the season, the defense has emerged as a strength, which may be Cinosky’s biggest accomplishment.

“Sometimes when you have three premier defenders, they all want to do it their own way,” Cottle said. “The way it’s worked this year is that we’ve had one premier defender and a couple of complementary guys, and I think that’s worked out better.”

On top of that, Megill is happy to see Cinosky, who plans to take 10 credits next semester to finish a degree in criminology and criminal justice, finally get the recognition he deserves after three years in the background.

“I’m expecting Joey to get some awards this year because I think he’s deserving of a bunch of them,” Megill said. “After playing with him and seeing a few games this season, he’s just a dominant force on the field.” edetweilerdbk@gmail.com

PHOTO BY ADAM FRIED-THE DIAMONDBACK

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THURSDAY, MAY 8, 2008 | THE DIAMONDBACK

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THE DIAMONDBACK | THURSDAY, MAY 8, 2008

Tewaaraton Trophy Finalists

Sports

MEN Ben Rubeor, Virginia Matt Danowski, Duke Mike Leveille, Syracuse Paul Rabil, Johns Hopkins Zack Greer, Duke

WOMEN Christy Finch, Northwestern Dana Dobbie, Maryland Hannah Nielsen, Northwestern Katie Rowan, Syracuse Kelly Kasper, Maryland

Seniors Dobbie, Kasper named Tewaaraton Trophy finalists Women’s lacrosse stars make last cut for national award

BY BRIAN KAPUR Staff writer

After a stellar regular season as a team, the Terrapin women’s lacrosse team has a pair of players up for the most prestigious individual award in the sport.

Senior midfielders Dana Dobbie and Kelly Kasper were announced as finalists for the Tewaaraton Trophy, which is given to the best player in the nation.

“It’s like the Heisman for football. [The Tewaaraton] is that for lacrosse,” Kasper said. “It’s a very huge honor and accomplishment.”

Although it’s a major individual achievement, both players have pointed out how strong the team has been this season, and credit their teammates for their recognition.

“Being nominated is just a testament to how strong our team is and how strong all my teammates are,” Dobbie said. “I don’t think I would be nominated if I wasn’t part of this Maryland team.”

“It says a lot about our team and that we have worked hard,” Kasper said. “It’s a lot of credit to our team-

ALLISON AKERS–THE DIAMONDBACK

Junior designated hitter Jensen Pupa and teammates celebrate after his home run in the Terps’ 7-4 win against Towson last night.

Baseball avoids season sweep with Towson win Ace Swinson makes midweek debut badly the Terps wanted to win last night’s game when sophomore pitcher Scott It took three tries and an Swinson stepped to the unorthodox pitching switch, mound.

It was the first time Swinbut last night the Terrapin baseball team finally beat in- son, the Terps’ ace, started a midweek game all season. He state rival Towson.

Tied in the bottom of the usually occupies the Friday seventh inning, the Terps night starter role to pitch in took advantage of three Tiger conference games. Because he pitched yesterday, errors to score three he won’t be able to runs and take the start Friday against lead for good in their No. 21 North Car7-4 victory. The win BASEBALL gave the Terps (28- Towson . . . . . . . . . . . . 4 olina State.

“I talked to coach 24, 8-19 ACC) some Terrapins . . . . . . . . . . . . 7 over the weekend, measure of payback and I was all for it,” against Towson after losing the teams’ first two Swinson said. “The way [Towson] beat us the first matchups this season.

“They took the series,” two times, it was just like senior center fielder Nick there was something extra Jowers said. “But it was there while we were playing. important to win today just There was more energy.”

As far back as Monday, for pride.”

It was evident before a pitch was even thrown how Please See BASEBALL, Page 8

BY AARON KRAUT Senior staff writer

Softball has last chance in ACC tournament VT, star pitcher Tincher, up first

BY JEFF NEWMAN Staff writer

The Terrapin softball team has been tormented by its conference opponents all season, but today it will play host to the entire field and, in particular, one of the nation’s biggest stars.

The seventh-seeded Terps (36-21, 7-14 ACC) begin ACC tournament play against No. 2 seed Virginia Tech (41-15, 16-5) and its ace, Angela Tincher.

For the third straight season, Tincher (30-6) has been named a top-10 finalist for player of the year accumulating 532 strikeouts and a 0.56 ERA, first and second in the nation, respectively. She is 16-1 against the ACC with a 0.74 ERA. “We need to be patient. We need to take good pitches to hit, and make her throw,” coach Laura Watten said.

“She’s one of the best pitch-

Terps vs. Virginia Tech Where: Taylor Stadium When: Today, 12:30 p.m.

Radio: WMUCsports.com ers in the country, but we’ve also [done well against] her.

We’re not intimidated by her.

Really, I think we’re the last team they wanted to see in the tournament because we’ve actually done pretty well against her.”

The Terps are no stranger to Tincher. They went 1-2 against Virginia Tech during the regular season, with both losses coming at the hands of the Hokies’ ace.

Please See SOFTBALL, Page 8

A NEW ROLE Senior defender Joe Cinosky has spent much of his time with the Terps in the shadow of other top-caliber defenders. This year, he became that guy.

SPORTS | PAGE 10

Please See SENIORS, Page 9

No worries, just steady play Australian attacker gives women’s lacrosse a fun boost

BY BRIAN KAPUR Staff writer

Australia native Casey Magor is known by her Terrapin women’s lacrosse teammates for keeping things loose and relaxed. Her “no worries” — a common slang term used in Australia — attitude has become a key component of the team.

“When we get our heads down, everyone knows they

can turn to her because she doesn’t have a negative bone in her body,” sophomore midfielder Amanda Spinnenweber said. “She boosts our spirits whenever anyone gets down. When someone puts their head down, she is there to pick them up.”

While Magor is cheerful and spirited, she is also one of the most candid players on the team, freely speaking her mind on anything, especially

opponents. And when practice gets tough, her teammates go to Magor to lighten the mood.

But although Magor has a cheerful disposition, she can step up as a verbal leader when she feels the team needs it.

“It’s hysterical, some of the things that come out of her mouth,” senior midfielder Kelly Kasper said. “We just look at her — it’s Casey — you can’t get mad at her. She says the funniest things. But she is one of those people who speak up when she needs to. So when she does say something important we are like, ‘Wow Casey said that, so it’s very

“It’s hysterical, some of the things that come out of her mouth” –Kelly Kasper SENIOR MIDFIELDER

important.’ At times we are laughing hysterically at her, but other times we know that when she says something important it is very

Please See MAGOR, Page 9