On My Own and the Things I Wish I Knew Before

Venturing on your own and living by yourself might be one of the biggest struggles of a teen. After all, it is a big leap to adulting. It might be hard to be away from the comfort of our home but as Taylor Swift once said in her graduation speech: “Scary news is, you’re on your own now. But the cool news is, you’re on your own now.”

Sometimes, entering college means moving away from the house we grew up in. It is scary. It is nerve-wracking. Boarding houses, apartments, or condos –it’s all an adjustment. With it are realizations we would have never reached if we stayed where we were most used to.

Life is not as easy as it seems

At first, the sense of independence gives the impression of being “very exciting”. It is like you are on a ship you can maneuver on your own, but as you experience the life of living alone, waves will come crashing down and rocking your boat.

“How will I manage my time between chores and studying?”

“How will my allowance be enough for all these house and academic expenses?”

“How will I focus on my studies with all these problems and things I need to?”

It’s a wide ocean filled with the unknown and unforeseen. Before, parents and guardians were by our sides to attend to our needs but now, we have to figure things out independently. Such is the case of Hazel Dane Cabagay from the School of Business, Hospitality and Tourism Management (SBHTM).

She is one of the many Divinistas living in a boarding house. Admittedly not a thrifty person, she tries to make do with her monthly allowances

You will be lost

From your previous comfort life where you have instructions and guidance given by your parents about the whats, wheres, and hows, stepping into the world where you live by yourself in an apartment or a boarding house will make you realize that you really don’t know everything. This new experience will be unknown to you because life is not taught in highschool textbooks. Lost, wandering around, and figuring out how to carry on: these are emotions Sean Cayetano from the School of Education (SOE) felt.

“My main struggles were time management and budgeting when I started living in a boarding house. I also had plans which I struggled to follow.”

Despite that, Sean notes that there are two sides to this coin of boarding life –gentle reminders that though lost, the journey can give us both sunshine and storms.

“There are positive and negative adjustments for me when it comes to living independently. For the positive side, I am in control of my time and the things I want to do. I have more free time, and even less commands from my parents. On the other hand, along with the independence was that I only have myself; I do all the chores so being tardy is not an option.”

Life is full of surprises

After enduring for quite some time and when it looks like everything is going smoothly –like you have already learned how to control your expenses, maximize and balance your time between academic and your personal schedules, life will challenge you with something greater: your emotions. You will miss the comfort of your home to the point that you just want to go back.

life demands socialization.

“My first struggle was interacting with others since it was my first time staying in a place not familiar to me. I find it hard because I am not an outgoing person and I’m not used to talking with others.”

Like those before them, time management and prioritization of house chores and school works were top concerns. It’s sudden –the feeling of facing all these problems all at once. They even confessed that their needed adjustment was one they never bothered themselves with as their parents were usually in-charge of waking them up.

“My biggest adjustment was waking up early to prepare for myself because back then, my parents would wake me up and prepare my food for school. I realized that I must have selfdiscipline.”

Struggle after struggle, one begins to toughen up and adapt. At the end of the day, the one to dictate our life is our very selves. We should be the person we trust the most.

“With all of these, I learned to develop my social skills and to prioritize my mental wellbeing because living in a boarding house is quite depressing. I have no choice but to adapt because I am all by myself.”

You will be lost (again)

Lastly, it all goes down to the question, “Is this all worth it?”. You will ponder upon yourself and will start to doubt everything. You will spend some nights just thinking about what’s next. You will be too exhausted to function that even sleep can no longer suffice. You will be lost again. You will be lost several times. But amidst all those lost moments, you will find yourself. Little by little you will learn life, stand on your own, and truly