Equipping the Man in the Mirror JUL/AUG/SEP 2009 by Angelo Ismirnioglou

Table of Contents

MEN

July/August/September 2009

HOW

Featured Articles q q q q

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A Lasting Legacy by Dr. Patrick Morley. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 2 Loving Others Changes the World! Excerpt from The Dad in the Mirror. . . . . . 7 Six Questions for Doug Haugen . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 8 Sharing Hope in Difficult Economic Times. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 9

Resource Tools q q q q q

YOUR

VISION

The Case for Small Groups. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 10 Equipping Your Men’s Small Group . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 11 Resource Catalog . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 30 From the Web: disciplemen.com. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 59 What Our Leaders Are Saying. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 60

Devotions

q July 2009 Devotions. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 14 q August 2009 Devotions . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 27 q September 2009 Devotions . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 44

At the end of many of the devotionals you will find an abbreviation for a resource that expands on the devotional material. If you’d like to order the book, CD, or read more from that resource, please go to www.maninthemirror.org.

Develop a compelling vision and the strategy to make it happen for the men in your church. Bring your leaders to a No Man Left Behind Conference in 2009: Atlanta, GA Charlotte, NC Detroit, MI Tampa, FL Nashville, TN

Kansas City, MO Pomona, CA Rockford, IL St. Louis, MO Indianapolis, IN

Jacksonville, FL Washington DC Pensacola, FL Phoenix, AZ Wisconsin

MIMBS—Man in the Mirror Bible Study : MIMBS 7— WKEB—Godly Behavior : MIMBS 1—Task 8—Mentoring : MIMBS 8—The Life of David—Waiting for the : MIMBS 2— The Life of David—Four Steps to Kill Lord a Giant : MIMBS 3— The Life of David—Remembering Your : MIMBS 9— The Life of David—Downfall of a Dad : MIMBS 10— The Life of David—Finishing Well Friends : MIMBS 4— Ten Questions—What is True Success? : MIMBS 11— The Life of David—Conquering Strongholds : MIMBS 5— Ten Questions—How Can I be a Better : MIMBS 12— The Life of David—Who Will be the Man, Husband and Father? Next Leader of this Nation? : MIMBS 6—The Life of David—The Beauty of Male Friendships Equipping the Man in the Mirror: July/August/September 2009, Vol. 4, No. 3 Publisher: Man in the Mirror, Inc. • CEO: Patrick Morley • Executive Editors: David Delk and Brett Clemmer Publication Manager: Lucy Blair • Art Director: Cathleen Kwas • Contributing Editor: Stephanie Lopez Writers: Lucy Blair, Ruth Ford, Mike McCrary, Matthew McDaniel and Jamie Smith Office: 180 Wilshire Blvd., Casselberry, Florida 32707 Phone: 800-929-2536 • Fax: 407-331-7839 • Web site: www.maninthemirror.org

Copyright © 2009 by Patrick Morley and Man in the Mirror, Inc. All rights reserved. Subscription Information: One year—$25. Two years—$43. For reprint requests or bulk subscriptions call 407-472-2100 or send an email to EQMIM@maninthemirror.org and ask for reprint permissions.

Call Jim or Greg at 800-929-2536 or 407-472-2100 to find out how you can be a part of this premier leadership training event.

www.maninthemirror.org/ltc

All Scripture quotations, unless otherwise indicated, are taken from the HOLY BIBLE, NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION®. NIV®. Copyright ©1973, 1978, 1984 by International Bible Society. Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved. Scripture quotations marked nkjv are taken from the the New King James Version. Copyright ©1982 by Thomas Nelson, Inc. Used by permission. All rights reserved. Scripture quotations marked the message are taken from the The Message by Eugene H. Peterson, copyright ©1993, 1994, 1995, 1996, 2000, 2001, 2002. Used by permission of NavPress Publishing Group. All rights reserved. Scripture quotations marked nlt are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright 1996, 2004. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

q The

Ingredients of a Lasting Legacy by Dr. Patrick Morley

How will you be remembered? Most likely you will not be remembered by many people, and not for long by most of those who do. For example, 44Several times recently I have asked someone, “Does the name Tom

Skinner ring a bell?” I’ve been a little startled when they said, “No.” How could the memory of the greatest black evangelist of the twentieth century so quickly pass into obscurity? 44Recently I was thinking about several of the great men who built our community—men responsible for our highways, parks, and local universities. Their contributions have long since been forgotten, as well as their names. 44A famous Bible teacher died a few years ago. I cannot, for the life of me, remember his name. 44I cannot remember the first name of my great-grandfather. Can you? And so it goes. Given the brevity of personal notoriety, what can we invest in that will leave a lasting legacy? And what should be our realistic expectations?

A Realistic Legacy Jim is twenty years older than me, yet we have always co-labored in ministry together. My wife and I were honored to be invited, along with about 40 other guests, to his 50th wedding anniversary. Also in attendance were his happy wife, his children who flew in for the occasion, and his pastor who thought enough of him to comment on his life. In his case, no one from his work attended. And he was very happy. Wouldn’t it be enough to discover that a happy wife, children who still want to be around you, a pastor who would be willing to say something nice about you, and about 40 friends were willing to assemble and celebrate your life? What more can a man really want? It’s a realistic and lasting legacy. How can you and I achieve such a legacy? Here are a few ideas to consider….

Idea #1: Decide What Is Important and Write It Down Make a list of what you think is most important, frame it, and hang it where you will see it regularly. Twenty-five years ago I did just that. I made a list of my ten most important philosophies, values, and beliefs. They hang on a wall in my office in plain view….

What’s Important? 44To love God and His Son, Jesus Christ. 44To keep family life as our highest priority after God. 44To invest in people and relationships. 44To think and act with integrity. 44To pursue excellence in every undertaking. 44To express gratitude whenever possible. 44To lead a disciplined, prudent life. 44To acquire wisdom in humility and the fear of the Lord. 44To trust God completely and not worry about life’s many cares. 44To live by setting and working toward realistic goals.

These are the standards by which I have measured my life. These are the particular ways I have articulated my understanding of the Bible. Since a legacy is what you leave behind, for me a lasting legacy is everyone in my family loving and serving Christ. That’s first and foremost. Second, a lasting legacy is to have invited as many as possible to join us in eternal life. A distant third might be to have someone stand at my funeral and proclaim, “He did what he said was important. He loved the Lord and his family. He invested his life into people and relationships. His life displayed the integrity, excellence, and gratitude which he prized. He led a disciplined life, pursuing wisdom and humility in faith. And he was a hard worker. And also, he was content, at peace, and joyful.” What’s on your list? What are the ingredients of your lasting legacy? Try it. Make a list. You can frame and hang it, or you can put it on a piece of paper that you leave in your Bible. The more you look at it, the more impact it will have on your thinking.

Idea #2: Make Memories Frankly, I do not remember many of the routines of my childhood. Do you? Instead, I remember the special occasions and memorable experiences. I remember crabbing off a bridge with a chicken neck on a string, being the king of my sixth grade class, surf fishing with my family at the beach, and shooting a rabbit that didn’t die right away. continued on page 4

2 2

4. Pray for your wife, and, if possible, with her.

continued from page 3

Easily the number one issue facing men is that marriages are not working correctly. One of the most powerful solutions is to pray for and with your wife.

Spend time with your children. Love is spelled T – I – M – E. I dated my children. Every Tuesday night I took one of them out for dinner and an activity. My son liked go-carts. My daughter liked the mall. They both loved being with their dad.

Why not give these ideas a try? A list of what’s really important to you reviewed regularly, a plan to make memories with your children, and a commitment to practice spiritual disciplines.

My adult son told me, “Dad, I want to have a job like you did because I can never remember you missing a single one of my games, and I want to do that for my kids too.” Kids remember the funniest things, but they all remember that time = love. Vacations are show stoppers in the memory bank. That’s because they break with routine. They’re special memories. The brain secretes chemicals that burn special experiences into our brains—bad as well as good. Be sure to make vacations different and special. Another growing up memory of mine was of wanting to know God. As an altar boy, I used to pour over the prayers hoping that I would experience the presence of God. One childhood memory I definitely do not have is that of receiving Jesus Christ as my personal Savior and Lord. How different might life have been if I had responded to the gospel at an early age? Make sure to make the gospel known to your children from their youngest age. That’s the one memory that will most alter their lives.

These may not be all of the ingredients of a lasting legacy, but they seem more than adequate to assemble your wife, your children, your pastor, and 40 friends.

For more information on leaving a legacy for your children, see The Dad in the Mirror chapter 5.

• Dr. patrick morley

After building one of Florida’s 100 largest privately held companies, in 1991 Dr. Patrick Morley founded Man in the Mirror, a non-profit organization to help men find meaning and purpose in life. Dr. Morley is the bestselling author of The Man in the Mirror, No Man Left Behind, Dad in the Mirror, and A Man’s Guide to the Spiritual Disciplines.

Ideas #3: Practice Spiritual Disciplines A legacy doesn’t just happen; it takes diligence, forethought, planning, and execution. One of the oldest traditions of Christian faith is the practice of spiritual disciplines. The spiritual disciplines are how we keep our lives focused on the ingredients of a lasting legacy. Spiritual disciplines do nothing to improve your record with God—that’s what Christ did on the Cross. But they do deepen and enrich our spiritual lives. There are many lists of the disciplines, each somewhat different. My top 12 includes creation, the Bible, prayer, worship, the Sabbath, fellowship, counsel, fasting, spiritual warfare, stewardship, service, and evangelism. Almost any Christian virtue or duty can be turned into a discipline. Spiritual disciplines will help get you where you want to go—to a lasting legacy. Here are four disciplines that are on my “must do” list.

1. Be part of a disciple-making church. The mission is, “Go and make disciples.” If you are

Leave a legacy for future generations! Strengthen your marriage by praying the

Learn the 68 words that can change your marriage!

not in a church that’s focused on the mission you’re in the wrong place.

2. Read the Bible for yourself. The Bible is God speaking to us. You will not grow deeply until you set aside quiet times when, without interruptions and distractions, you can tune your ears to hear the speech of God.

3. Participate in a men’s small group. Couples groups are good, but there is an unparalleled bond that develops in a men’s small group. In our experience, most meaningful change takes place in the context of small group relationships.

Give the Marriage Prayer cards to every couple in your church!

Order your Marriage Prayer cards or book at www.themarriageprayer.org!

Loving Others Changes the World

by Dr. Patrick Morley and David Delk . Excerpt from The Dad in the Mirror Damien de Veuster was born in the middle of the nineteenth century to Belgian farmers. After completing his education, he became a priest and joined the Fathers of the Sacred Hearts. His order sent him as a missionary to Hawaii, where he arrived in 1865. The increasing numbers of Europeans traveling to Hawaii at the time brought new diseases for which the natives had no immunity: smallpox, influenza, cholera, and, most dreaded of all, leprosy. In 1868, the Hawaiian government established a leper colony on the island of Molokai in an attempt to contain the spread of the disease. During the next five years the government sent nearly one thousand lepers to the colony. The stark conditions—no houses, no facilities—forced the lepers to take shelter in caves or under trees. No one from the government or health department dared live in the colony. Father Damien lived in Kohala, but he began to think more and more about the lepers on Molokai. The love of Christ compelled him. In Father Damien knew he May 1873, Father Damien’s superiors approved his would inevitably get leprosy. request to move his ministry He reconciled himself to this to the leper settlement.

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fact and faithfully served the people of the leper colony.

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When he arrived, Father Damien took shelter under a large tree. The human disfigurement and the smell of rotting flesh overwhelmed his senses. But he believed God had called him to love these people. He began to meet their physical needs, changing their bandages and treating their wounds. A skilled carpenter himself, he taught them how to build houses. The lepers eventually built a large chapel, where Father Damien held services. From the start, Father Damien knew he would inevitably get leprosy. He reconciled himself to this fact and faithfully served the people of the leper colony for almost sixteen years until his own death in April 1889. Father Damien has received honor throughout the world for his compassion, courage, and love. His bronze figure resides in the statuary hall in Washington, D.C. What kind of father did Damien have? Surely, the seed of Damien’s love for others found good soil within him, but it takes a father to make this kind of love grow. What would happen if our generation of fathers could grow one hundred men and women like Father Damien? What about one thousand? What about ten thousand? The answer is simple: we would change the world. From where will the next Father Damien come? Make a prayerful commitment right now to father your child’s heart to love God and others. If you do, the next Father Damien may be as close as your child’s bedroom.

Six Questions for Doug Haugen Executive Director, Lutheran Men in Mission . •• How would you describe your ministry? The vision of Lutheran Men in Mission is for every man to have a closer relationship with Jesus Christ through an effective ministry with men in every congregation. We want to help grow men’s faith and relationships through resources, events and leadership training.

•• How were you led into the ministry? My grandfather was a committed Christian and churchman, but I did not know that he was very involved in “The Lutheran Brotherhood” – the organization that preceded Lutheran Men in Mission. After I had been serving in this position for several years, a friend of his told us that my grandfather prayed for someone to lead the men of the church. That’s when I realized, this calling is in my spiritual genes.

•• What’s the most important quality for a ministry leader? Passion. You must be completely convinced that a vital ministry with men is the hope of the church. Passion drives you forward and connects you to others. A leader also needs to set an example for others, by connecting with a small group of trusted men who will encourage him, teach him and hold him accountable.

•• What is the greatest impact that the ministry has had on your life or on the life of someone you have ministered to? A few years ago I met with Lyman Coleman, founder of Serendipity House Publishers, and asked him to develop a new kind of retreat and follow-up experience. What has developed is like a spiritual boot camp for men. As a result, we’re sending home new husbands, fathers and sons, and empowered congregational leaders.

•• What is the biggest issue that the men in the church are facing and how is your ministry helping them in that struggle? Jesus Christ is the issue—how the church presents Jesus and what men do with Jesus. Our ministry is about creating a place where men can take an honest look at their life and consider what a relationship with Jesus Christ could mean for them.

•• What encouragement can you give to others who are engaged in the battle for men’s souls? This work is done one man at a time. Start by connecting with one other man and then with a small group. Let that small group encourage, equip and hold you accountable. That small group cannot only be good for you, but can be the model of ministry for men in your congregation and beyond.

• doug haugen

Doug Haugen has served as Executive Director of Lutheran Men in Mission since January, 1993. He is a speaker and retreat leader at men’s events throughout North America. Doug and his wife, Doris Benson Haugen, live in Lake in the Hills, IL and have two adult children, Derek and Dawn.

Sharing Hope in Difficult Economic Times

. Patrick Morley’s book, How to Survive the Economic Meltdown, has only been out a few short months, but already it has sold over 20,000 copies in print, been downloaded for free over 2,000 times, and been presented in churches around the country as a sermon or seminar. One entrepreneur in Florida started a local support group to help businessmen grow personally and spiritually. John Crossman says financial problems caused four of his colleagues to take their lives in the last 18 months. Crossman, president of Crossman & Company, one of Central Florida’s largest retail leasing and management firms, was already leading a men’s Bible study when he made the decision to begin using the book. “I have been involved in men’s Bible studies for close to 20 years, and I have never seen anything like this,” Crossman explains. “We had about 7-8 guys in our group. Then we sent out a simple e-mail announcing that we were starting a Meltdown study, and we had over 30 men sign up.” A local pastor called to inquire about hosting an evening seminar in his church. “I’ve done more counseling in the last five months than I have in the last five years,” he said. He went on to note that financial problems are one of the greatest stresses on a marriage. “When the finances aren’t right, it can reveal other ‘fault lines’ in a marriage.” Here are some specific ideas for leaders who want to share hope with those around them who are suffering financially: 44Go to www.survivethemeltdown.org and review the available

resources. 44Download the free pdf version of How to Survive the Economic Meltdown. 44Make a list of people you know who are struggling financially and send

them an email offering them a copy of the book. If they want it, send it as an attachment or point them to the Web site. 44Read through the book with a group. It has 10 chapters with easy-to-use questions at the end of each chapter. 44Invite people from your church, office or profession to a read the book with you. Offer to eat lunch together for 5 weeks and discuss 2 chapters each week. 44Start a small group with people you know and discuss a chapter a week. Take time to pray for each other and walk through these difficult times together. 44Buy a box of books to keep in your trunk or to give away at your church or office. Books are available from the Web site for as little as $2 each when purchased in bulk. This is possibly the greatest opportunity for spiritual awakening in our time. Let’s act boldly and pray faithfully that God’s power will change millions of lives for His glory. “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” —Jeremiah 29:11

The Case for Small Groups Based on “How to Lead a Weekly Small Group” .

Equipping Your Men’s Small Group

Full text available at www.maninthemirror.org/alm/alm94 Jesus used a small group to create momentum. Jesus launched His divine plan to redeem mankind by making disciples out of a small group. Impressive. The question, of course, is why would He do that? Why a small group? Jesus knew that most meaningful change takes place in the context of small group relationships—men sharpening men with truth, encouraging each other for the daily battle, and sticking with each other over the long haul. Small groups date to the 17th century, when Philip Jacob Spencer (1635-1705), the father of German Pietism, initiated a series of reforms. Central to his method was the collegia pietatis—“small groups” for Bible study, prayer, and intimacy— intended to renew a staid and arid church. Even secularists understand the value of small groups. Anthropologist Margaret Mead said, “Never doubt the power of a small group of people to change the world. That’s about the only way it has ever happened in the past.”

How To Form a Group 1. Make a list of men you might like to have in your group. You may need to ask two men for every slot in your group. Pray over their names. Ask God to give you names you might not ordinarily think of. 2. Decide what kind of group you want to lead. You could wait and make a group decision, but it will likely fall apart. Leaders lead – and men like that. There are many different types of small groups: Bible Studies; Discussion Groups; Support Groups; Prayer Groups; Accountability Groups; Mentoring Groups; Mission/ Service Groups. A typical group will be 4 to 10 men, depending on your purpose. 3. Decide when and where you want to meet. You can always adjust, but set a first meeting time and place. Good places might be a quiet coffee shop, an office, someone’s home, or the church, if possible. 4. Next, invite the men to an informational meeting to discuss the small group. Pick the time, place, and stick to an hour. As you invite them, explain to men what you are trying to accomplish and why. Don’t ask men for a long-term commitment right away. Tell them you will initially meet for 4, 6, or 8 weeks (pick a number), then decide as a group where to go from there. Not everyone will say yes, so graciously allow men to decline your offer.

Getting Started Now what? Go to www.maninthemirror.org/alm/alm94 to read about how to conduct your first meeting. Or, subscribe to the “How to Start a Small Group” How-to Course on disciplemen.com. Recommended resource: Brothers! Calling Men to Vital Relationships, by Geoff Gorsuch with Dan Schaeffer.

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Get all your men engaged in the regular study of God’s Word by using this magazine as a small group tool. At the end of each week’s devotions, you’ll see a box containing discussion questions and exercises. These can form the basis of your time together. These pages supplement those questions with additional steps.

If you

e with your men use this magazin

this quarter you

will have:

in your boys or young men of p ou gr a h it w sport. ✔✔Interacted hing opportunity or ac te y, it tiv ac an church through rd in the life of e power of the Lo th ed dg le ow kn er in the strug✔✔Ac for that same pow od G d ke as d an David life. gles of your own of the Lord are the kindness sh to y it un rt po op ✔✔Had the with someone. success. definition for true w ne a en tt ri W ✔ ✔ to change er as they strive mb me p ou gr ch ea ✔✔Prayed for focus on eternity. their priorities to ns 5:22, 23. flected on Galatia re d an ed iz or em anked ✔✔M ith a friend and th w d te ec nn co re ✔✔Connected or in your life. him for his impact the Lord as a rtance of obeying po im e th ed iz gn ✔✔Reco g with Him. result of connectin help you deal allow the Lord to n ca u yo w ho d ✔✔Examine es of life. with the injustic wives to am up with their te to ys gu e th d ✔✔Encourage nting skills. improve their pare ked for finish well and loo to s an me it t ha legacy. ✔✔Identified w your own spiritual sh bli ta es to n gi ways you can be to leave for future ple you would like am ex e th d ze aly ✔✔An generations. church. r the men in your fo y it tiv ac an d ✔✔Planne Continued on page 12

11 11

Small Group Guide continued from page 11

r 7/1– 7/5: This week you learn about mentoring and the impact it

makes on your children or the children in your community. Suggested Application Step (SAS): Discuss ways to mentor the boys and teens in your church. Commit to reach out, as a group, in one of those ways to some young men in the next 30 days.

r 8/17-8/23: This week your men will see the importance of

obedience as a result of connecting to the Lord. SAS: Ask each man to write down one area of their spiritual life where they have obeyed for the wrong motivation (giving, prayer, church attendance, etc.). Ask them to pray for a way to change that motivation to one that results from connecting with the Lord.

r 7/6–7/12: These devotions focus on David and Goliath and the confidence that David had in the Lord. SAS: Thank God that He is the same God to you as He was to that young boy who defeated a giant. Start each day this week with a prayer asking Christ to be your champion to defeat the giants in your life. r 7/13–7/19: This week you will read about the true meaning of

kindness. SAS: Ask each man in the group to write down the name of someone in their life that they need to show kindness to in a new way. In next week’s meeting, be ready to share how that kindness was received.

r 8/24–8/30: This week you’ll get to see how King David dealt with injus-

tice and resisted revenge SAS: With your group, discuss injustices that may be going on in your community or in the world. Decide if there is a way to get involved in a godly way and pray about how your group could become active for that cause.

r 8/31–9/6: These devotions focus on parenting issues and how we can improve our parenting skills. SAS: Ask the men to talk with their wives about one area of parenting that they would like to improve. As a parental team decide how you can make that change in your family.

r 9/7– 9/13: This week you’ll be considering what it means to finish well. SAS: List three specific attributes or actions that you have admired in another man. If those actions or attributes have eternal value, how can we incorporate those into our own lives?

r 7/20–7/26: Our devotional theme this week is about the difference between

success that comes from our calling vs. our ambition. SAS: Have your group write a definition for what true success should mean for men. Throughout the next week, read this definition and pray about striving for true success. From last week: Share the reception you received from your acts of kindness. n The Now

r 7/27–8/2: This week your men will consider the areas

of their lives that focus on “now” and “then.” SAS: From the “now” and “then” list you made (page 27), share the items that the group members had in common. Have each man commit to pray for one other man in the group about refocusing their priorities on eternal matters.

r 9/14–9/20: These devotions will help your group think through what it means to be a living example to your children. SAS: Make a list of values that you would like to see passed down generation to generation in your own family. Make a list of specific actions or attitudes you need to have now in order to pass those values down.

r 9/20–9/25: These devotions will help your group think

through five spiritual categories that apply to most men. SAS: With those categories in mind, plan an activity in the next 60 days to reach out to the men in your church who are disciples or want to be disciples (Category 3).

r 8/3–8/9: This week you’ll be contemplating the importance of the Fruit of the Spirit in your spiritual journey. SAS: Memorize Galatians 4:22-23 and as you meditate daily on the verses, look for ways that God is using those fruits in your life and through your life. r 8/10–8/16: These devotions focus on the power of a friendship like that of David and Jonathan’s. SAS: Think of a friend who has had an impact on your life at some point—maybe even from childhood. If you lost touch, try to find that friend through Facebook or a mutual friend. If you are still in touch, give that friend a call and let them know how much their friendship means to you. 12

Use Equipping the Man in the Mirror for Your Small Group

•• Start with the group discussion questions at the end of each week of devotions. •• Looking for ideas for your small group? Check out the resources on page 32. •• Are you thinking of starting a small group? Read the informative article on page 10, “The Case for Small Groups.”

Wednesday—July 1 • Father Failures

Fathers, do not embitter your children, or they will become discouraged. Colossians 3:21 I thought I had a miserable childhood. Looking back on my life, I gained a new perspective. It’s true that I did not experience a level of intimacy with my parents that many people do. And at one point, I’m ashamed to say, I really questioned my parents’ intentions. I felt like their motivations were dark, and they were trying to defeat me. I know now, it’s simply not true. As a father, I’ve often failed. I’ve made errors in judgment. But I’ve always wanted what was best for my kids. My actions may have been suspect, but my motives were good. Then I applied that to my dad. Like many fathers, he was a good man who simply didn’t have a lot of choices. Because

his own father had deserted him, he had no role model. He worked long, hard hours to support his family. He didn’t give me biblical guidance, but he did the best job he knew how to do. I am thankful for this insight. God has used it to encourage my heart. MIMBS 1 Do you need to reexamine issues from your childhood, and see them from your parents’ perspective? And do you need to reexamine your relationship with your children, to determine if you need to make amends for any failures? Daily Reading: 2 Kings 18:13-19:37, Acts 21:117, Psalm 149:1-9, Proverbs 18:8

Thursday—July 2 • Obedience Brings Blessing Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. “Honor your father and mother”—which is the first commandment with a promise—“that it may go well with you, and that you may enjoy long life on the earth. Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord. Ephesians 6:1–4

Ephesians 6 admonishes children to obey their parents. If they do obey, Paul says, they will enjoy a special blessing for the rest of their lives. Paul then admonishes fathers, implying that if we don’t mentor our children and teach them about God and about His ways, they will be exasperated, frustrated, and downright angry. I understand that, because I had good parents who, nevertheless, dropped out of church when I was in middle school. As a result, I did not receive the training and instruction of the Lord, and I did not honor my parents. So I know what it is to be a frustrated and angry young man. You see, when we raise our children by

teaching them scriptural principles, they learn to obey. And then they receive the blessings of obedience. When we fail to mentor them properly, they don’t just lose out on the instruction—they miss out on the blessings that come from obedience. MIMBS 1 Did your parents teach you godly principles? If not, what steps are you taking to break that cycle in your own family? And if they did teach you godly principles, how are you passing them on to others through mentoring? Daily Reading: 2 Kings 20:1-22:2, Acts 21:1836, Psalm 150:1-6, Proverbs 18:9-10

Friday, Saturday, Sunday—July 3, 4, 5 • Life Lessons The teaching of the wise is a fountain of life, turning a man from the snares of death. Proverbs 13:14

Dads have opportunity to teach important life lessons. Certainly, a child may learn independently, but he’ll be extremely disadvantaged without a mentor. When my son was finishing his junior year at Auburn, he discovered that a major computer company was looking for a part-time campus representative. He wrote a couple of outstanding letters, and he was granted an interview on a Tuesday. The company representative said he would contact my son on Friday. I’ve been around the block a couple of times, and I knew the chances of his calling on a Friday were no better than 50-50. So on that Friday morning, at about 10:30, I introduced this idea to my son. I said, “Just so you don’t get your expectations too high, there’s a good chance you’re not going to hear today. It would be a very normal business practice for him to delay till Monday.” The man didn’t call on Friday, and my son did worry about it all weekend, but not like he would have worried if I hadn’t explained what to expect. The company representative called the following Monday, and my son got the job. An inexperienced youth without a mentor might have called the guy, upsetting the whole thing. By contrast, I remember visiting the Orange County jail with a chaplain. We

were visiting the hard-core youth offenders, ages 14–17, who were serving time for murder, rape, armed robbery, and various offenses related to illegal drugs. I asked the chaplain, “How many of these young men have a father figure in their life?” He said, “Maybe 10 percent.” I took the opportunity that day to give each of those young men a verbal blessing. And when it was time to leave, I said, “I’m into hugs, so if anybody needs a hug, come on up here. I’ve got one for you.” Twelve young men came and I hugged them. Then they stepped into the hallway, and the guards handcuffed them together, and marched them down the hall to their jail cells. Our children need wings of independence and they need roots of security. The best place for them to get those two things is from their parents. If their parents can’t do it, then we, you and I, must pick up the slack. MIMBS 1 In your own words, describe how you can leave a legacy by mentoring your children, or by mentoring other children in your community. Daily Reading: 2 Kings 22:23- 1 Chronicles 2:17, Acts 21:37-23:35, Psalm 1:1- 3:8, Proverbs, 18:11-15

For Your Small Group

❏❏ For July 1-5—Read this definition of mentoring aloud to the group—“To serve as a trusted counselor or teacher to another person.” •• Looking back over your youth, do you see the men who were mentors in some area of your life? A teacher? Coach? Scout Leader? Uncle? Father? Share their impact on your life with the group. •• Have you been able to pass that gift of mentoring on to a young man in your life? •• How can we, as a group, mentor some of the boys and young men of our church?

Monday—July 6 • Be a Giant Killer A champion named Goliath, who was from Gath, came out of the Philistine camp. He was over nine feet tall. 1 Samuel 17:4

Every day you and I face regular-sized problems. But once in a while a giant shows up—a problem that threatens every aspect of our lives. About five years ago, I started thinking about table leaders at the weekly Man in the Mirror Bible study. In the previous two years, more than half of them had faced giant-sized problems. Those challenges usually come from one of five sources: kids, wife, work, wealth, or health. Have you had a “giant-sized” problem in one of these areas? Perhaps you have a rebellious child. Perhaps you’re engaged in a power struggle at home, and you or your wife have decided to call it quits. Maybe

you had to downsize your company, or you got downsized and you’re out of work. Or maybe you just received a bad report from your doctor. There is hope. Whatever your giant looks like, remember that God intends for His people to be giant killers. MIMBS 2 Think about a giant you are facing now, or have faced in the past. With that in mind, how do you respond to the idea that God intends for you to be a giant killer? Share your thoughts with another man. Daily Reading: 1 Chronicles 2:18-4:4, Acts 24:127, Psalm 4:1-8, Proverbs 18:16-18

Tuesday—July 7 • Expect God to Prevail David said to the Philistine [Goliath], “You come against me with sword and spear and javelin, but I come against you in the name of the Lord Almighty, the God of the armies of Israel, whom you have defied. This day the Lord will hand you over to me.” 1 Samuel 17:45–46

Every day, Goliath taunted the Israelite army. Every day, no one would respond. Yet when David arrived, he confidently accepted the challenge. He had experienced God’s deliverance in previous battles with a lion and a bear. Armed with a sling and five smooth stones, the young man approached the Philistine. David did not rely on his own strength or ability. He simply expected God to prevail. He understood a principle that runs through all of Scripture—God works through people who expect Him to triumph on their behalf. David believed so strongly, he said, “All those gathered here will know that it is not by sword or

spear that the Lord saves; for the battle is the Lord’s, and he will give all of you into our hands” (1 Samuel 17:47). Of course, David defeated Goliath. What set the young man apart from all the soldiers who failed to respond to the giant’s challenge? His view of God. We must approach our giant problems with the same expectation that stirred David. We must expect God to prevail against our problems, too. MIMBS 2 When you are facing a giantsized problem, what is your view of God? Are you more like David, or more like the Israelite soldiers? Explain your answer. Daily Reading: 1 Chronicles 4:5-5:17, Acts 25:1-27, Psalm 5:1-12, Proverbs 18:19

Wednesday—July 8 • Have a Plan

Then Saul dressed David in his own tunic. He put a coat of armor on him and a bronze helmet on his head. David fastened on his sword over the tunic and tried walking around, because he was not used to them. “I cannot go in these,” he said to Saul . . . so he took them off. 1 Samuel 17:38–39 In the course of this story, you’ll find the first thing David did when he arrived at the Israelite camp was to begin asking questions about Goliath and about the current situation. He wanted to figure out what was going on. He tried to understand the enemy. He also understood himself. From previous experiences, he knew his strengths and weaknesses. He tried on Saul’s armor, but he knew he could not fight in it—it wasn’t made for him. But in trying it on, he may have learned an important thing about armor. He may have discovered the spot where he should

aim his stone, so it would do the most damage. This particular giant was covered from head to toe with armor. There was only one vulnerable place—his face. Whenever you are facing a giant-sized problem, analyze the situation. Build your faith by listing past situations where you have seen God prevail. Know your strengths and face your weaknesses. Analyze the problem and look for a vulnerable spot to attack. Rely on God, develop a plan, expect victory. MIMBS 2 You’ve heard that “failing to plan is the same as planning to fail.” How does that statement apply to facing a giant-sized problem? Daily Reading: 1 Chronicles 5:18-6:8, Acts 26:132, Psalm 6:1-10, Proverbs 18:20-21

Thursday—July 9 • Choose the Right Weapons Then he took his staff in his hand, chose five smooth stones from the stream, put them in the pouch of his shepherd’s bag and, with his sling in his hand, approached the Philistine. 1 Samuel 17:40

David tried out Saul’s armor and sword but rejected using them. Instead he used a simple sling. Most of us already have the weapons needed to defeat any enemy we are facing. Our most powerful weapon is our dependence on Him. Several years ago a friend became depressed as he faced the dissolution of his marriage. At one point, we candidly discussed the merits of suicide. I referred to a time when I faced a problem that threatened to swamp my courage. I was driving in my car when I saw a gigantic lightning bolt seemingly strike the middle of the road up ahead. It didn’t, because the road curved. But I remember thinking, “Wouldn’t it have been wonderful if I had been under that

lightning bolt, and I wouldn’t have to deal with any of these problems.” By God’s grace, I clung to Him in that circumstance, and I was able to remind my friend that our Lord works on behalf of men who expect Him to prevail. The size of your weapon is not the deciding factor in the battle. You will triumph in proportion to your level of dependence on Him. MIMBS 2 How do you respond to this statement: “The size of your weapon is not the deciding factor in the battle”? Ask some other men in your group their thoughts. Daily Reading: 1 Chronicles 7:1-8:40, Acts 27:120, Psalm 7:1-17, Proverbs 18:22

Friday, Saturday, Sunday—July 10, 11, 12 Do the Right Thing for the Right Reason

But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us. Romans 5:8

All those gathered here will know that it is not by sword or spear that the Lord saves; for the battle is the Lord’s and he will give all of you into our hands. 1 Samuel 17:47 Even as David conquered Goliath, he was a humble warrior. He did not dare to take on this giant in his own strength and ability. It doesn’t appear that he was seeking personal fame when he challenged Goliath. His expressed motives were pure and unselfish. When David first heard the giant’s defiant challenge, the young man questioned those around him: “What will be done for the man who kills this Philistine and removes this disgrace from Israel? Who is this uncircumcised Philistine that he should defy the armies of the living God?” (1 Samuel 17:26). His statements reveal his concern for both Israel’s reputation and God’s. David’s desire was for God to gain glory through the victory. He wanted God’s reputation to be enhanced among those on the battlefield, and indeed, throughout the world. He was doing the right thing, with the weapons God provided, and he was doing it for the right reason. He said to Goliath, “You come against me with sword and spear and javelin, but I come against you in the name of the Lord Almighty” (1 Samuel 17:45). God works on behalf of people who

humbly recognize their place in God’s kingdom, align their lives with His will, and trust Him to prevail on their behalf. David would later write: “The Lord is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer; my God is my rock, in whom I take refuge. He is my shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold. I call to the Lord who is worthy of praise, and I am saved from my enemies” (Psalm 18:2,3). In David’s victory over Goliath, we see the spiritual foundation that would guide him through tumultuous times, against many types of enemies. He intentionally identified everything he did with God, so that anyone who sought to prevail against him would also find himself battling against God. So if you’re battling a giant, remember to do the right thing, and to do it for the right reason. Expect God to prevail, and honor Him in the process. MIMBS 2 Why is it so important to check our motivations when we are facing the giants in our lives? How can you live today so that God gets more glory? Daily Reading: 1 Chronicles 9:1-14:17, Acts 27:21-Romans 1:17, Psalm 8:1-9:20, Proverbs 18:23-19:5

For Your Small Group

❏❏ For July 6-12—Have someone read aloud the story of David and Goliath from an easy-tounderstand translation (1 Samuel 17). •• What emotions might David have felt as he faced the giant? Was he scared? Brave? Confident? Overwhelmed? •• Have you ever had to overcome fear or anxiety to accomplish an important task? •• What issue or “giant” are you facing today? How can we trust that Christ will deal with those issues the way David dealt with Goliath?

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Monday—July 13 • Raining on Your Parade

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A man I have been reaching out to for about 10 years developed a severe health problem. When his wife went out of town, my wife made him a meatloaf and I went over to check on him. It happened to be sprinkling that day, so when he opened the door, I figured he’d invite me in. I gave him the meatloaf, I inquired about his health, and we stood there for about three or four minutes. I stood in the rain and he stood in the house. Finally, a large raindrop hit my glasses and sort of dribbled down right in front of my pupil. And he said, “Oh, you’re getting wet.” It was about that time I figured he wasn’t going to invite me in, so I said, “Well, yeah, I

am getting wet so I guess I’ll be going now.” I couldn’t help but laugh all the way home. Sometimes we try to do a good deed and show some kindness—something we believe God asked us to do—and we don’t just get rejected, we get rained on! I wonder how many times we do the same thing to God; leaving Him at the door as He offers us His care and concern. MIMBS 3 Have you ever been rejected by someone you tried to help? What do you think God was trying to show you? Daily Reading: 1 Chronicles 15:1-16:36, Romans 1:18-32, Psalm 10:1-15, Proverbs 19:6-7

Tuesday—July 14 • Undeserved Kindness Do not fear, for I will surely show you kindness for Jonathan your father’s sake. 2 Samuel 9:7, nkjv

The Hebrew word for kindness is chesed, and it’s repeated 248 times in the Old Testament. It can also be translated “mercy, goodness or unfailing love.” One of the Old Testament heroes who was most consistent in his display of kindness was King David. He didn’t merely show kindness to his friends, but to his enemies and even his enemies’ children. David had an intimate friendship with Jonathan, even though Jonathan’s father, King Saul, had tried to kill David many times. And yet, after Saul and Jonathan died, David asked, “Is there still anyone who is left of the house of Saul, that I may show him kindness” (2 Samuel 9:1, nkjv). Why was David able to do this? Because

he was a man after God’s own heart. Time and again, God shows kindness to those who repeatedly reject Him as well as to the family and friends of those who repeatedly reject Him. God’s mercy and kindness are unfailing, but also undeserved. If He can do this for us, who are we not to do it for others? MIMBS 3 Encourage the men in your group to perform an act of kindness to someone with whom they have a conflict. Daily Reading: 1 Chronicles 16:37-18:17, Romans 2:1-24, Psalm 10:16-18, Proverbs 19:8-9

Wednesday—July 15 • Above and Beyond I will restore to you all the land that belonged to your grandfather Saul. 2 Samuel 9:7

The Hebrew word chesed means more than kindness. It’s a word that, at its root, is used to describe the unfailing, never-ending kindness of God, which goes far above and beyond the norm to demonstrate His love for us. King David, a man after God’s own heart, displayed that kind of kindness to Mephibosheth, the crippled and poor grandson of Saul. David could have stopped at inviting the young man to live with him or by placing him with another family. Instead, he gave Mephibosheth 100 percent of the substantial assets that once belonged to Saul and were now part of the king’s treasury. Jesus has asked us to go and do the same. Like David before Him, He led by example.

He went the extra mile. He demonstrated chesed in the most selfless display of unmerited kindness in human history—the long walk up Calvary’s hill, and the slow death by torture suffered so that His murderers might find life. That’s the character of the God we serve, who is able not only to love us that way, but to teach and empower us to do likewise. MIMBS 3 How can Christ’s sacrifice encourage you to show unmerited favor and kindness to someone in your life? Daily Reading: 1 Chronicles 19:1-21:30, Romans 2:25-3:8, Psalm 11:1-7, Proverbs 19:10-12

Thursday—July 16 • Two Good Turns And Mephibosheth, grandson of your master, will always eat at my table. 2 Samuel 9:10

David showed Mephibosheth chesed because he knew that God had done the same for him. God said to him, “I took you out of the pasture. I made you the king. I will give you rest. I will make your name great.” (See 2 Samuel 7:8–11.) Notice David’s response: “Who am I, O Sovereign Lord, and what is my family, that you have brought me this far?” (2 Samuel 7:18). But in truth, that was only his verbal response. Part of his behavioral response was that he went out and showed the same kindness to others. Even if Mephibosheth had been aware of David’s covenant with his father, Jonathan, not in

his wildest imagination would he have ever even considered that David would do what he did. David not only gave Mephibosheth all of his grandfather’s business empire, he even adopted the boy as his own son. Why would David do that? Because he worshipped a God of infinite kindness. David was a man after God’s own heart. God’s heart is too big for Him to ever do too little. MIMBS 3 How have you gone above and beyond recently to show kindness to someone? Share your thoughts with another man. Daily Reading: 1 Chronicles 22:123:32, Romans 3:9-31, Psalm 12:1-8, Proverbs 19:13-14

Friday, Saturday, Sunday—July 17, 18, 19 Throwing a Pity Party Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God. Philippians 4:6, nkjv

Recently I decided to throw myself a little pity party. I was thinking about trying to help that man and being left out in the rain, and about several other little things that were going wrong at work. But then I began to dwell on God’s chesed in my life. I thought back to how God spared me from bankruptcy. I spent seven years of my life trying to recover from the collapse of my business after the Tax Reform Act of 1986. Frankly, most of my friends went ahead and declared bankruptcy, and 12 months later they were back in business. But I slogged through all of these problems for about seven years. But that was what I felt God was leading me to do, not to necessarily be spared, but to do everything I could to be spared. I spent seven years of my life with one goal, and that was to take care of these financial issues. He spared me! During my period of self-pity, I had temporarily forgotten that. Then I remembered how graciously God brought the gospel back into my family through my wife’s family. I grew up in a Christian family that didn’t know Christ, if that

makes any sense. Then I met Patsy. She had Christ in her life, and she was a light. What incredible loving-kindness for God to bring the gospel back into my family line! Then I thought about how God had allowed me the privilege, before my parents both passed away, of hearing them confess faith in Jesus Christ. I have a deceased brother who also confessed faith in Jesus Christ. And I have another brother who has received the Lord. I have one brother left to go. I even see signs of God’s loving-kindness as he seems to be warming up a little bit. I hadn’t thought about these things in a while. How about you? Where has God been sparing you? Where is His chesed in your life? Remember these things, dwell on them and be thankful for them. It will not only spare you from self-pity. It will spare you from self-absorption. MIMBS 3 What are you anxious about today? Try to focus not on what you don’t have, but on what God has already given you according to His loving-kindness. Daily Reading: 1 Chronicles 24:129:30, Romans 4:1-5:21, Psalm 13:1-15:5, Proverbs 19:15-19

For Your Small Group

❏❏ For July 13-19—On a large piece of paper or white board, write the group’s ideas about what it means to be kind. •• Is God’s definition of kindness different from the world’s definition of kindness? In what ways? •• It’s easy to be kind to someone we like. Why is it more difficult to show kindness to someone we don’t like or are in conflict with? •• Let’s spend a few minutes in prayer and ask God to show us ways to be kind to those difficult people in our lives.

Monday—July 20 • The Unmerited Love of God

But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us. Romans 5:8, nkjv I wasn’t a very pleasant person in my young adult life. I was angry. I was moody. I was selfish. I was ruthless. And I was filled with self-pity. Even now I can remember all the stupid, petty, insignificant, inconsequential things that I allowed to become bigger and more important than my relationships, including my relationship with my wife. But when I get my mind right, I am reminded once again of this incredible, amazing woman that God has given me. And when I think of that, I remember God’s chesed, His kindness—that He has demonstrated in so many ways. Today I have two grown children walking with the Lord. I have a successful career, and a ministry through which I help people

connect with Jesus Christ. The passage of 2 Samuel chapter 9 is worth re-reading, just to be reminded of this loving-kindness. I was a cripple like Mephibosheth. You’re probably a cripple, too. God’s kindness is undeserved, unrequired, unrequested, unmerited, and unconditional. Today is the day to remember that God doesn’t love you because of your goodness, but in spite of your badness. MIMBS 3 If you’re going through a difficult season, consider the love that God has shown you and the blessing He’s given you. Make a list and share it with other men in your group. Daily Reading: 2 Chronicles 1:1-3:17, Romans 6:1-23, Psalm 16:1-11, Proverbs 19:20-21

Tuesday—July 21 • The Kindness that Leads to Repentance Do you show contempt for the riches of his kindness, tolerance and patience, not realizing that God’s kindness leads you toward repentance? Romans 2:4, nkjv

All of us are spiritual cripples. Just as Mephibosheth, we cannot walk too far without falling down and needing Christ’s help. Chesed points us to Christ. David was a type of Christ. He was not the Messiah, but he was a type of messiah—an anointed one. In fact, Jesus Himself was born out of David’s blood line. By studying David’s life, such as his kindness to Mephibosheth, we can see how God bestows His chesed on cripples. Sometimes we stumble. Sometimes we fall. Sometimes we walk with a limp. And then seemingly out of nowhere, God shows us His

kindness. And it is God’s kindness, not His wrath or His discipline, that leads us to repentance. This goodness, this mercy, this loving-kindness—He uses all of them to take care of us. In spite of all the little things that go wrong and the trouble we have walking, He is always there to pick us up and point us in the right direction. MIMBS 3 How has God’s kindness led you to repentance in the past? How might He be leading you now? Daily Reading: 2 Chronicles 4:1-6:11, Romans 7:1-13, Psalm 17:1-15, Proverbs 19:22-23

Wednesday—July 22 • Practicing Kindness For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son. John 3:16, nkjv

How do we practice this chesed—the kindness of God? I’ll give you a couple of thoughts to think about. First, it might be good to spend some time recalling God’s chesed in your own life. Your circumstances may not change, but your perspective will. Simply dwelling on God’s loving-kindnesses to you and thanking Him for it can change your attitude. Second, find someone who is crippled. If you’re not doing all that well, maybe you are the cripple and you need someone to extend kindness and encouragement to you. But if you’re doing okay, find someone else who needs some of God’s kindness—preferably someone who

could do nothing for you in return. If it is someone who is not a believer, share John 3:16 with him. Share the ultimate gift of God’s kindness—your faith. Or, if they are a believer and they need a word of encouragement, figure out what it is and then do some unexpected, undeserved and extreme act of kindness for them. MIMBS 3 Spend the next few days dwelling on the kindness of God in your life. Then choose someone for whom you can show kindness and offer encouragement. Daily Reading: 2 Chronicles 6:12-8:10, Romans 7:14-8:8, Psalm 18:1-15, Proverbs 19:24-25

Thursday—July 23 • Calling vs. Ambition I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit. Ephesians 3:16

I know a man who has a small business, and some time ago he had the best month that he had ever had. He doubled what he had done the previous month, to the tune of a $100,000 net. A man who worked for him said, “He wasn’t happy one day during the whole month.” How does that happen? That kind of success doesn’t necessarily fulfill a person. There’s a kind of success that comes from our calling, and another kind of success that’s a result of our ambition. One is a biblical concept born out of hearing and following God’s will. The other is generally a worldly concept born out of following our own dreams and desires without really knowing if God has called us to

that particular enterprise. And that makes all the difference. We’ve all known people who have every reason to be happy, but they’re not. And we’ve all known people who have every reason to complain, but they don’t. One of the reasons for that is many people have the wrong view of what success really is. MIMBS 4 How would you define your successes? Are they ambition-based or call-based? Daily Reading: 2 Chronicles 8:11-10:19, Romans 8:9-25, Psalm 18:16-36, Proverbs 19:26

q Friday, Saturday, Sunday—July 24, 25, 26 • Your Core Calling

Meanwhile, live in such a way that you are a credit to the Message of Christ. Let nothing in your conduct hang on whether I come or not. Your conduct must be the same whether I show up to see things for myself or hear of it from a distance. Philippians 1:27, 28 The Message

As a prisoner for the Lord, then, I urge you to live a life worthy of the calling you have received. Ephesians 4:1 Here are a few scriptures to meditate on as you think about the subject of God’s core calling on your life. In Ephesians 3, Paul says, “I pray that out of His glorious riches He may strengthen you with power through His Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God. Now to Him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to His power that is at work within us, to Him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations forever and ever! Amen” (vv. 16–21). Calling-driven success is the kind that maximizes the power of God that is at work within you. With the power of God at our disposal, we can do more than we dare to ask or

imagine. Paul continues, “As a prisoner for the Lord, then, I urge you to live a life worthy of the calling you have received” (Ephesians 4:1). In other words, when we look at all that Christ has done for us, Paul comes to this conclusion: “I urge you to live a life worthy of [our] calling.” And what is that calling? To live our lives in a worthy manner, or to be disciples of Jesus Christ. We are called to be disciples, to be followers, to be in Christ, to be found in Christ. These are all different ways of saying the same thing: God has a plan for each of us. He equips us to pursue that calling with His power that is at work with you, right now! MIMBS 4 How can you take this core calling of discipleship and apply it to your vocational life? Your family life? Daily Reading: 2 Chronicles 11:1-18:34, Romans 8:26-10:13, Psalm 18:37-20:9, Proverbs 19:27-20:3

For Your Small Group

❏❏ For July 20-26—From the devotion on page 23, what is the difference between success that comes from our calling and success that comes from ambition? •• What are some areas of your life where you have experienced success that resulted from your calling? •• What are some areas of your life where you have experienced success that resulted from your ambition? •• Is there a need in your life to reevaluate what success has really meant to you? Are there some changes you need to make to seek success based on your calling?

Called to minister to men? Pastoring Men is a great resource for you. Page 31

Monday—July 27 • Called to the Gospel

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Paul says, “Whatever happens, conduct yourselves in a manner worthy of the gospel of Christ.” The core calling we have received is to live worthy of the gospel of Christ. Life throws curveballs. It can seem like hardly anything ever goes the way we want it to. A business deal turns sour, our family life falls short of what we hoped for, friends can disappoint in difficult times. But “whatever happens,” God has called you to be in Christ. He has called you to the gospel of Jesus. He’s called you to be a disciple. And now, in response to this, God who is able to

do immeasurably more than you are even able to comprehend, ask or imagine, you are called to live a life worthy of that calling. Here’s the amazing thing—God not only gives us the gospel, but by His Spirit He gives us the power to live worthy. What a great God we serve. MIMBS 4 How are you living a life worthy of the calling God has given all of His children? Daily Reading: 2 Chronicles 19:1-20:37, Romans 10:14-11:12, Psalm 21:1-13, Proverbs 20:4-6

Tuesday—July 28 • The Agony of Idols I am the Lord your God, who brought you out of the land of Egypt, out of the house of bondage. You shall have no other gods before Me. Exodus 20:2,3 nkjv

Living by calling flows out of a focus on the success of God and our relationship with Him. Living by ambition, on the other hand, flows out of a focus on the success of our circumstances. And for many men, living by ambition leads to a fixation on idols. I was with a guy one day who has had a lifetime of labor and has done well. One of his passions is racing. He just loves it. One day he asked me, “Pat, when does a passion become an idol?” Well, it’s a very good question. But I thought it was ironic that a man who had achieved everything he wanted, and was now actually able to enjoy some of the fruits of his labor, couldn’t enjoy them because

he felt guilty. He was torn. He didn’t even know whether or not it was okay to have a good time. Passion becomes an idol when we say of anything, “I have to have that in order to be happy.” When God gives us something good to enjoy, it stops being good when we allow it to become more important than Him. MIMBS 4 Talk to the men in your group about the difference between a passion and an idol. Daily Reading: 2 Chronicles 21:1-23:21, Romans 11:13-36, Psalm 22:1-18, Proverbs 20:7

Wednesday—July 29 • Living in the Now Don’t love money; be satisfied with what you have. For God has said, “I will never fail you, I will never abandon you.” Hebrews 13:5, nlt

If Jesus Christ alone is not enough, the “something else” you think you need has become an idol. The pursuit of ambitiondriven success is just such an idol. There is a lot of confusion about what it means to be successful, because ambition-driven success is dependent upon circumstances. Ambition-driven success is always looking forward to making more money or living in a nicer house. True success means to live a life worthy of the calling to become a disciple of Jesus. It means to be faithful to our calling, not our ambition. Calling is based on the now and our

faithfulness to Christ in the moment. Ambition is based on the later and what we hope to gain in order to be happy. People who live in the now and do most for the kingdom, quite often get the “later” thrown in as well. MIMBS 4 How are you living for the “now”? What about the “then”? Can you make the distinction between which of these is rooted in calling and which is rooted in ambition? Daily Reading: 2 Chronicles 24:1-25:28, Romans 12:1-21, Psalm 22:19-31, Proverbs 20:8-10

Thursday—July 30 • Losing the Rainbow What good will it be for a man if he gains the whole world, yet forfeits his soul? Matthew 16:26

An American immigrant reportedly said, “I heard that in America there was a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow.” But after a lifetime of toil he said, “You know, I found the gold, but I lost the rainbow.” God tells us how we can enjoy true success and how we can “keep the rainbow.” That is by living a life worthy of the calling that we’ve received—to understand the difference between success that is the result of ambition, and success that is the result of our calling. How do you do this? I think the most important thing in keeping ourselves centered is when we

endeavor to let Jesus Christ be our first, highest, and best thought in every situation. Whatever circumstances you face today, ask yourself this question: “How can I act in this moment so that other people see how great Jesus is?” The answer to that question leads to true success. MIMBS 4 In what ways have you lost the rainbow in your life? Do you believe God can help you find it again? Daily Reading: 2 Chronicles 26:128:27, Romans 13:1-14, Psalm 23:16, Proverbs 20:11

Friday, Saturday, Sunday—July 31, August 1, 2 Living Out Your Calling And what does the Lord require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God. Micah 6:8 Your Health This may be the most neglected area of many men’s lives. Too often, men treat their body like it is a barn, not a temple. Take the time to eat right, get some exercise and get annual checkups.

How does a man live a life worthy of the calling he has received? Each of us has to take responsibility for our own life. It’s no one else’s job! Here are five basic areas in your life that should be priorities. Your Relationship With God The best way to know God better is to spend time with Him and in the Word. Talk to Him and let Him talk to you through Scripture. That’s what a relationship with God means—spending time with Him. Your Relationship With Your Wife The Scripture says that you should love your wife the way that Christ loves His church. So you need to figure out what it means to love your wife. Watch the movie The Notebook. Figure out what it means to love a woman the way that James Garner’s character loved his wife. Your Relationship With Your Kids The Bible says, “Do not discourage your kids.” The counter of that is to encourage your kids. Tell them that you’re proud of them, tell them that you love them, and spend time with them.

Your Finances We’re stewards of all our money because, well, it’s not our money. It’s God’s. Not just 10%, but all of it. Use every resource God has given you to bring glory and honor to Him. That’s what it means to live a life worthy of the calling that you’ve received. MIMBS 4 Take stock of your life and evaluate how you’re doing in all five of these areas. Share your thoughts with the other men in your group. Daily Reading: 2 Chronicles 29:1-33:13, Romans 14:1-16:9, Psalm 24:1-25:22, Proverbs 20:12-19

For Your Small Group

❏❏ For July 27-August 2—On a piece of paper make two columns with the headings “Now” and “Then.” List the things in your life that focus on life now or life in eternity (then). •• Which list is longer? Which list takes up most of your time, energy, and efforts? •• Are there some things that cross over to both lists? Are there items on the “now” list that you could refocus to make them applicable to the “then” list? (Example: Look for ways to share your spiritual story with co-workers.) •• What kind of mind-set do we need to have to use all of life’s opportunities with eternity in mind?

Monday—August 3 • A Self-Made Better Man? For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God—not by works, so that no one can boast. Ephesians 2:8–9

Do you want to be a better man, a better husband and a better father? It is very tempting for me to tell you, “Do a better job. You just need to suck it up and make it happen. You need to discipline yourself. You need to put in more effort. ‘If it’s going to be, it’s up to me.’ You just need to try harder.” It’s easy to take the world’s approach and apply it to your spiritual life. But this is a performance-based approach to Christianity. This approach says that I am saved by faith, but now I have to prove that God didn’t make a mistake. It’s hopeless, and it’s dead wrong. When I realized this and rejected it, I had

a conversion experience. I realized that while I am saved by faith through grace, I am also sanctified by faith. God, through His grace, is making me holy. Perhaps this still is a performance-based approach, but it’s God’s performance, not mine! So I can relax and let God do His work in and through me. MIMBS 5 Do you trust God to make you a better man? Pray that God will lead you this week to be a man after His own heart. Pay attention to changes that you notice in yourself. Daily Reading: 2 Chronicles 33:14-34:33, Romans 16:10-27, Psalm 26:1-12, Proverbs 20:20

Tuesday—August 4 • Doing What You Know

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I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do. Romans 7:15 Why is it so hard to do the things you want to do or to be the man you want to be? Nearly every man wants to be a better man, a better husband or a better father. Yet too often, we simply don’t execute. You didn’t wake up this morning wanting to be a worse man, a worse husband or a worse father. If you did, you certainly wouldn’t be reading a devotional magazine! Yet, even though you want to be better, and even though you have a good picture of what that might look

like, you (and I) still don’t measure up to our own standards. So what is the problem? The problem isn’t not knowing what to do (information); it’s not knowing how to do it (power). If we are going to become the men God wants us to be, it will not be in our own strength. Paul shared our struggle: “What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body of death?” (Romans 7:24). The answer: “Thanks be to God—through Jesus Christ our Lord!” (vv. 24–25). Power comes through loving and obeying Jesus Christ. MIMBS 5 Spend some time asking God to give you His power through Jesus Christ. In what areas of your life do you need more of His power? Daily Reading: 2 Chronicles 35:1-36:23, 1 Corinthians 1:1-17, Psalm 27:1-6, Proverbs 20:21

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Wednesday—August 5 • Love God and Do What You Want Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. Deuteronomy 6:5

“Love God and do what you want,” said St. Augustine, perhaps the greatest theologian that has ever walked the face of the earth. Augustine understood Jesus. When asked what the greatest commandment was, Jesus quoted Deuteronomy 6:5. Augustine was merely paraphrasing Jesus. When you do love God this way, you will want to do everything that God wants you to do. Loving God with the totality of your being leads to obeying Him in the same way. It’s performance out of the overflow of relationship—not the other way around. Obeying God so that He will love you is making God’s actions dependent on yours. That’s an approach that is perfectly

designed to produce either pride or guilt. Christianity is loving God with everything you’ve got—it’s a system perfectly designed to produce obedience. So go ahead: Love God and do what you want. If you really love Him, you’ll want to do what He wants! MIMBS 5 Do you love God with your heart, mind, soul, and strength? Talk with some other men about areas you might be holding back on. Pray that your love for God would lead to willingly and joyfully following His will. Daily Reading: Ezra 1:1-2:70, 1 Corinthians 1:18-2:5, Psalm 27:7-14, Proverbs 20:22-23

q Thursday—August 6 • The Fruit of the Spirit = Being a Better Man But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Galatians 5:22–23 Want to be a better man? Love Jesus. And, if you love Him, you will obey Him. In Galatians 5, Paul tells us that the fruits of sin (not obeying God) are the opposite of the fruits of the Spirit. In other words, loving God and obeying Him leads to the Holy Spirit working in us. God’s Holy Spirit working in you has a radical impact. The Bible says it leads us to love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control—all the things we want! When I notice that I am not being the man I want to be—when I’m short with my wife, impatient with my kids, unkind, selfish and

harsh—trying harder to be a nice guy never seems to work. Instead, when I repent— confess my shortcomings to God and ask Him to help me love Jesus more than anything else—He responds. His Holy Spirit works in me and changes me. And He can change you too. MIMBS 5 Which fruits of the Spirit are the least evident in your life? Talk with some guys about these struggles. Share which fruits you see the most in each other. Pray together that God will change your hearts through the power of the Holy Spirit. Daily Reading: Ezra 3:1-4:23, 1 Corinthians 2:6-3:4, Psalm 28:1-9, Proverbs 20:24-25

Friday, Saturday, Sunday—August 7, 8, 9 If You Love Me, You’ll Obey Me If you love me, you will obey what I command. And I will ask the Father, and he will give you another Counselor to be with you forever—the Spirit of truth. John 14:15–17

“If you love me,” Jesus said, “you will obey what I command.” Jesus is not making a conditional statement: “Obey Me to prove you love Me.” He’s really showing cause and effect: “Because you love Me you will obey Me.” If you read Jesus’ words and hear Him chastising you, “If you love Me, then YOU WILL OBEY ME,” you are probably living out of a performance-based approach to Christianity. Jesus didn’t talk to His followers like that. (OK, one time He called Peter “Satan,” but He had to get his attention.) Jesus saved His harshest words for the religious people who thought that the way to experience God’s favor was by obeying a bunch of rules. “Woe to you, hypocrites and Pharisees, who load men down like pack animals with man-made rules and regulations!” (See Matthew 23:4, The Message.) Why did this anger Jesus? Because it made people focus on their own behavior rather than on their relationship with God. In a sense, they thought they could make God love them by

behaving correctly. They put the “obey Me” before the “love Me.” Jesus always puts the “love Me” before the “obey Me.” Why? Because loving Jesus leads to obedience. Jesus even promises some extra help: “If you love me, you will obey what I command, and I will ask the Father and He will give you another Counselor [meaning that He is the first Counselor] to be with you forever.” Jesus knows you want to be a better man. He knows you want to be a better husband and father. Jesus knows that you lack the power to do it. But if you love Him, then He will give you His Spirit. He’s the help you need to be the man you want to be. MIMBS 5 How do you feel about the word “obedience”? Have you ever wondered if you were good enough for God to love? Focus on loving God this week, and ask Him to send His Holy Spirit to give you the will to follow His commands. Daily Reading: Ezra 3:1-9:15, 1 Corinthians 3:5-5:13, Psalm 29:1-31:8, Proverbs 20:26-21:2

For Your Small Group

❏❏ For August 3-9—Read Galatians 5:22-23 aloud from several easy-to-understand versions such as The Message or the New Living Translation. •• What do those fruits of the Spirit look like in everyday life? •• Which fruit of the Spirit do you need to demonstrate more of to your wife? Your children? Your co-workers? Your neighbors? •• Spend a few minutes encouraging each other with examples of how you have seen the fruits of the Spirit in the lives of your members.

Monday—August 10 • We All Need Friends Do not forsake your friend and the friend of your father, and do not go to you brother’s house when disaster strikes you—better a neighbor nearby than a brother far away. Proverbs 27:10

As I reminisce about my friendships, I have to confess to more failures than successes. Frankly, I think most men are that way. And after a few of these failures, we begin to hold back a bit from other friendships. Eventually, this can lead to a sense of loneliness. I work with a group of men’s leaders from around the country. We have a steering committee of about 20 leaders. Frequently I find myself telling the men, “Look, we need to make sure that we spend time getting to know each other. How sad it would be for us to work together for 20 years, maybe even change the world, and still end up with no real friends.” There is something awesome about male friendship. The relationship between David

and Jonathan is a great example from the Bible. (See 1 Samuel 18–2 Samuel 1, 9.) Their story shows that friendships are not just about what’s going on between two people. God is always at work, sovereignly accomplishing His will in the world, and He uses friends to accomplish that in our lives. MIMBS 6 Talk with a group of guys about your successes and failures with adult male friends. How have those past experiences affected your willingness to pursue new male friends? What other factors affect your life in this area? Daily Reading: Ezra 10:1-44, 1 Corinthians 6:120, Psalm 31:9-18, Proverbs 21:3

q Tuesday—August 11 • God Uses Our Friends to Work His Will And Jonathan made a covenant with David because he loved him as himself. 1 Samuel 18:3 A friendship is a covenant, or a commitment between two people. Isn’t it interesting that Jonathan, the son of King Saul, would have such a friendship with the man who would eventually replace his father as king? This covenant symbolized Jonathan yielding his position as heir to his father’s throne. To see the significance of that relationship, jump ahead to 1 Samuel 23, which shows that Saul was searching for David, intending to kill him. Verse 14 says, “God did not give David into his hands.” And then verse 16 says, “Saul’s son Jonathan went to David … and helped him find strength in God.” Then the passage notes that David and Jonathan made a covenant before the Lord. “Then Jonathan went home, but David remained

at Horesh” (1 Samuel 23:18). David was running for his life, and his friend came to encourage him, even if it meant threatening his own relationships with family members and giving up his rightful inheritance. What a friend! It makes me think, what would I be willing to sacrifice for a friend? How might God use my friends’ sacrifices on my behalf to build His kingdom? MIMBS 6 Have you ever had a friendship that God worked through to accomplish kingdom purposes? How might God use the new friendships you are developing? Daily Reading: Nehemiah 1:1-3:14, 1 Corinthians 7:1-24, Psalm 31:19-24, Proverbs 21:4

Wednesday—August 12 • There Is No Greater Love Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends. John 15:13

Jonathan and David didn’t just talk about being friends. They lived it. Their actions proved the depth of their relationship. I remember a time when I was so far backed into a financial corner, it seemed the only way out was to lie, cheat and steal. I poured out my heart to a friend for over an hour. He didn’t say much, but he just listened as I gushed out my anguish, my doubts, and my fears. At the end, he simply said, “I really don’t have any answers for you, Pat. But if it doesn’t work out, I have enough money for both of us to live on.” Wow, what a friend! Happily for both of us, it didn’t come to

that. But the fact that he said it—and meant it—encouraged me. My friend was willing to put it all on the line for me. If it came to it, he was willing to lay down his life, the financial part of his life in this case, just because I was his friend. This is the kind of friendship men were wired to have. MIMBS 6 What is the greatest sacrifice a friend has been willing to make for you? What is the greatest sacrifice you have ever made for a friend? Do you have a friend now that “lives” John 15:13 with you? Daily Reading: Nehemiah 3:15-5:13, 1 Corinthians 7:25-40, Psalm 32:1-11, Proverbs 21:5-7

Thursday —August 13 • Taking a Risk A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity. Proverbs 17:17

Throughout the story of David and Jonathan, you see their love for one another. Similarly, in the movie First Knight, Arthur (played by Sean Connery) says to Lancelot (played by Richard Gere), “God uses people like you because your heart is open.” In the movie, the people of Camelot had a motto: “Brother to brother, yours in life and death.” That is really loving a friend at all times. The bottom line is in order to have a friend like that you have to be a friend like that. You must be willing even to risk losing that friend. If you hold back anything, your friendship will fail. Pray with me: Father, please help every man reading this devotional to be the kind

of person who could have friendships like this. Some of us have this type of relationship. Some had it and lost it. Many hope to regain it. Be the Lord of our friendships, and enable us to take the risk to give and receive friendship. In Jesus’ name. Amen. MIMBS 6 Friendship requires a willingness to take risks. Do you agree with that statement? What risks have you had to take—or have others had to take—to maintain your friendships? Daily Reading: Nehemiah 5:14-7:73, 1 Corinthians 8:1-13, Psalm 33:1-11, Proverbs 21:8-10

Friday, Saturday, Sunday—August 14, 15, 16 Characteristics of True Friendship As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another. Proverbs 27:17

This verse describes the best kind of friendship—the kind that makes you better than you would be without it. Several years ago I was preparing to speak about this topic. I called one of my really close friends to brainstorm with me about the characteristics of a good friendship. We decided, first of all, that this type of relationship will not work unless both parties value friendship. If both parties value the relationship, they will be willing to invest in each other. I have a friend, for instance, with whom I’ve met for prayer once a week, every week, for 27 years. That’s a huge investment of time, and it reflects the value we place on each other. A great friendship also is reciprocal. As I look back through my failed relationships, most of them ended because one party or the other did not reciprocate. Let’s face it— you can’t be friends with everybody, and everybody can’t be your friend. Ask God to bring to your attention the people who will reciprocate your friendship. And finally, remember that an “iron sharpens iron” relationship usually requires time and processes. When I first saw my wife Patsy walking down the street, I thought to myself, “That’s the woman I’m going to spend the rest of my life with.” But that’s not what I said to her. I asked her to go out

on Friday night. And she turned me down! When I finally convinced her to go out with me, we clicked immediately. We literally stayed up all night talking. We looked out the window and saw daylight, and we hadn’t even been aware that the hours had passed. I would share a little bit of myself, and she would receive it. And then she would share, and I would receive. And we began to trust each other. When I eventually popped the question and asked her to marry me, it came naturally, because I had not violated the process of building a relationship. True friendship also requires openness and trust—some would call it honesty and vulnerability. You can’t have deep, meaningful friendships unless you are willing to risk showing who you really are. But you allow that to happen over time and you follow a pattern that enables you to grow in your trust and respect for each other. MIMBS 6 Describe a relationship in your life that is an “iron sharpens iron” kind of friendship. What did it take for that friendship to become what it is today? If you don’t have one, pray that God would provide this type of friend in your life. Daily Reading: Nehemiah 7:73-12:26, 1 Corinthians 9:1-10:33, Psalm 33:12-34:22, Proverbs 21:11-16

For Your Small Group

❏❏ For August 10-16—On page 35, read the devotional, “God Uses Our Friends to Work His Will.” •• How would you describe the friendship of David and Jonathan? •• Think about one of your childhood friendships. What made that friendship so special? •• What do you look for in a friendship today? Do you think it is easy or hard as an adult to find true friends? Why is that?

Monday—August 17 • A System of Integrity

In my integrity you uphold me and set me in your presence forever. Psalm 41:12 In business, they say your system is perfectly designed to produce the results you’re getting. Likewise, if you’re consistently getting certain results in your life, your ‘system’ is perfectly designed to produce them. The theology you’ve built into your life—or not built into it—is a central part of your system; if it’s lacking, ignorant, or misinformed, the results will be disappointing. Integrity is one of the results produced by a biblical system. Integrity is a 1-to-1 correlation between your Bible, your belief, and your behavior. Integrity means that when you read the Bible it becomes what you believe in your mind. Then, there must be a further correlation between what you believe and how you behave. To have one of these out of whack is to have a serious kink

in your system. You’ll see the damaged results play out in your life. Every man should examine himself and ask, “Are my beliefs consistent with Scripture? Is my behavior consistent with what I believe?” If not, then it’s time to build a new system. The place to start is the Bible. MIMBS 7 What results are you getting in each area of your life: work, marriage, fatherhood, spiritual growth, etc.? Think about the correlation between your Bible, your belief and your behavior; is a part of your system out of whack? Daily Reading: Nehemiah 12:27-13:31, 1 Corinthians 11:1-16, Psalm 35:1-16, Proverbs 21:17-18

Tuesday—August 18 • Obedience and Love Jesus replied, “If anyone loves me, he will obey my teaching. My Father will love him, and we will come to him and make our home with him. He who does not love me will not obey my teaching. These words you hear are not my own; they belong to the Father who sent me. John 14:23–24

Why would we want to be obedient to God? Sometimes we misunderstand grace and obey in order to earn merit with God, or try to obey in order to keep our salvation—to prove to God we’re worth it. The reality is there is no one who is righteous. Only Jesus Christ lived free of sin and it’s His merit only upon which we rely. He offers it to us if we’ll put our faith and trust in Him. So why obey? Jesus says that if you love Him, you will obey. In other words, what you do is who you are. As we noted earlier, there’s an order to this though; we will obey if we love Him, not the other way around. Do you really believe that God will take care of you? That He has a plan for you? You can’t obey someone out of love who

you don’t believe is truly for you. Jesus is for us. So much so that after living that sinfree life, He paid for our sins Himself on the cross. In John 14, Jesus links obedience and love not once, not twice, but three times. Jesus is saying you can’t have one without the other. It’s easy to say you love God. We should be sure to act like it as well. MIMBS 7 Have you ever fooled yourself into thinking you can obey God without loving Him? That you can love Him without obeying? What were the results? Daily Reading: Esther 1:1-3:15, 1 Corinthians 11:17-34, Psalm 35:17-28, Proverbs 21:19-20

Wednesday—August 19 • Power to Obey But you will receive power when the Holy Spirit comes on you; and you will be my witnesses in Jerusalem, and in all Judea and Samaria, and to the ends of the earth. Acts 1:8

The Scriptures say we should love God with the totality of our being (see Deuteronomy 6:5). Do you love God like that? Would you like to? Often, the problem is not the lack of desire or knowledge; the problem is lack of power. We aren’t connected to the source of the power to obey—the Holy Spirit. How do we connect to the source then? Here’s what Jesus said, “If you then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give the Holy Spirit to those who ask him!” (Luke 11:13). By asking, we connect to the source. “The Spirit gives life; the flesh counts for nothing.

The words I have spoken to you are spirit and they are life” (John 6:63). By following Jesus’ words we connect to the source. Trying to obey God out of your own power is futile; we must connect to the source. MIMBS 7 How connected do you feel to God? What are the ways that you connect with Him now? Brainstorm with some guys about ways to connect with God more intentionally in the coming week. Daily Reading: Esther 4:1-7:10, 1 Corinthians 12:1-26, Psalm 36:1-12, Proverbs 21:21-22

Thursday—August 20 • Unhappy at Work? If you obey my commands, you will remain in my love, just as I have obeyed my Father’s commands and remain in his love. I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete. John 15:10–11

Jesus tells us if we love Him, we will obey Him; and if we obey Him, we’ll remain in that love. He doesn’t say this to discourage you or make you feel uncomfortable. Rather, He says it so you can be encouraged and understand that obedience is the trademark of a biblical Christian. He wants you to have complete joy! He is a perfect, infinitely joyful being and wants to share that joy with you. The Bible says, “Faith without works is dead” (James 2:20, nkjv). Many men find themselves unfulfilled, unhappy, joyless—“dead.” One common reaction is to think that a career change is the solution. They’ve lost the joy in what they do. If that’s

you, consider this: changing jobs may be solving the wrong problem. First, be sure you are serving the Lord where you are. Be a witness, share your faith, help people, and see if the joy returns. Jesus promises it will, if you obey Him. Faith without obedience can lead to drudgery. Don’t miss out on the full joy that accompanies obedience. You may find that you just needed a heart change, not a job change. MIMBS 7 Do you feel like Christ’s joy is in you? Why or why not? How are you actively serving the Lord? Daily Reading: Esther 8:1-10:3, 1 Corinthians 12:27-13:13, Psalm 37:1-11, Proverbs 21:23-24

q Friday, Saturday, Sunday—August 21, 22, 23 • Today Is the Day As long as you did what you felt like doing, ignoring God, you didn’t have to bother with right thinking or right living, or right anything for that matter. But do you call that a free life? What did you get out of it? Nothing you’re proud of now. Where did it get you? A dead end. Romans 6:20–21, The Message If your stated beliefs and your behavior are in conflict, the tendency is to realign your belief to match your behavior instead of the other way around. How many men have walked away from Christ because they’ve been in an affair they didn’t want to leave? Or developed an addiction or greedy business practice they didn’t want to quit? They chose to change their belief instead of their behavior. There’s a phrase that says: “It’s easier to act yourself into a new way of thinking than to think yourself into a new way of acting.” In most cases, we know what we need to do to please God, but we sit around thinking about it instead of doing it. You don’t read the Bible, do your devotions, or go to church in order to hear what a bad sinner you are; you do these things to receive encouragement and nourishment—to learn what you need to do to obey God. But it can’t end there. We all have to make the choice to either be a spectator or a participant. Like in a football game, there are players

down on the field and fans in the stands watching. It’s okay to be either, but ultimately if you’re a spectator, it ought to be your desire to get in the game. Out of commitment to Christ and serving the Lord you shouldn’t settle with just hearing and learning, you should want to act! James 1:22 tells us that if we hear the Word but don’t do it, we deceive ourselves. Do you love your wife like the Bible commands? Do you give your money toward ministry? Are you striving for holiness in every area of your life? Don’t put off obedience and deceive yourself or rob yourself of Christ’s joy—today is the day for salvation (see 2 Corinthians 6:2). MIMBS 7 In what areas of your life do you hesitate to obey God? Are you halfway pursuing His will, striving for purity or serving Him? What’s a tangible way you can step out on the field this week and get in the game? Daily Reading: Job 1:111:20, 1 Corinthians 14:115:28, Psalm 37:12-38:22, Proverbs 21:25-29

For Your Small Group

❏❏ For August 17-23—On a scale of 1-10 (1=least, 10=most), how would you rate your obedience to the Lord? •• Have you tried to obey God or the Bible in your own power? Were you successful? •• What is the difference between obeying in your own power and obedience that results from connection with the Lord? •• Is there an area or an issue in your life where you want to be obedient to God but you’re struggling? How can the group help you with that?

Monday—August 24 • Perspective on Problems Humble yourselves, therefore, under God’s mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you. 1 Peter 5:6–7

In August 2004, Hurricane Charley hit central Florida. I lost power for a week. We couldn’t drink the water, turn on the AC, watch television, make a phone call, access the Internet, etc. We decided to leave and head north to Atlanta. On the trip that was supposed to be our escape from the problems, the car died on I-75 and we had to call a tow truck! Later on the phone, someone expressed his condolences for all the problems we were experiencing. I thought about it for a moment and said, “You know, we don’t have any problems. These are not problems; these are the inconveniences of affluence.” There are people who really do have big problems—they’ve lost

their home, lost a child, lost a marriage, lost their health. It’s important to keep things in perspective. Are you experiencing problems or inconveniences? When we adjust our perspective, our responses to circumstances and to God are altered as well. And the sooner we cast the burdens on Him— whether big or small—the better. MIMBS 8 Do you keep your circumstances in perspective? What are you suffering from right now—inconveniences or problems? How can you give these concerns over to God? Daily Reading: Job 12:1-15:35, 1 Corinthians 15:29-58, Psalm 39:1-13, Proverbs 21:30-31

Tuesday—August 25 • Responding to Injustice I lie down and sleep; I wake again, because the Lord sustains me. I will not fear the tens of thousands drawn up against me on every side. Psalm 3:5–6

Have you experienced injustice? Have you been betrayed by a friend, fired without cause, deceived by your spouse, disrespected by your children? When we look at the life of David, we see a man with real problems, not just inconveniences. He faced many injustices at the hands of others. In 2 Samuel 16, David’s son Absalom is trying to take David’s life. Imagine the betrayal, confusion and anger David must have felt! A superscription before Psalm 3 tells us that David wrote the psalm about that very situation. David’s response is amazing. His state of mind and heart throughout the psalm is one of trusting in God for deliverance. He praises Him, cries out his fears to Him, declares His goodness, and waits on Him with complete dependence.

Later, in Psalm 27:13–14, David writes: “I am still confident of this: I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord.” This is an admonition for us today. So be strong! Take heart! You will see the goodness of the Lord! MIMBS 8 Talk with some guys about your typical reactions to being treated unjustly. Are any of you currently facing an injustice or still reeling from a past one? Encourage each other and pray that God would give you strength and peace. Daily Reading: Job 16:1-19:29, 1 Corinthians 16:1-24, Psalm 40:1-10, Proverbs 22:1

Wednesday—August 26 • Waiting in Prayer

I waited patiently for the Lord; he turned to me and heard my cry. He lifted me out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and mire; he set my feet on a rock and gave me a firm place to stand. Psalm 40:1–2 What does it really mean to wait on God? Waiting is active. When David faced his enemies, he didn’t stop trying to protect his position. In Matthew 10:16, Jesus says, “I am sending you out like sheep among wolves. Therefore be as shrewd as snakes and as innocent as doves.” Waiting on God when facing injustice doesn’t mean you go out hoping to serve as a doormat. You still exercise wisdom. Waiting includes a lot of time in prayer. David said, “To the Lord I cry aloud, and he answers me from his holy hill” (Psalm 3:4). It also means you don’t take matters into your own hands. A worldly reaction is to throw all of your

strength, strategy, frustration, and logic at the problem instead of relying on the Lord. That’s not how David operated. When David was fleeing from Absalom out of Jerusalem, the Bible says he “continued up the Mount of Olives, weeping as he went” (2 Samuel 15:30). He didn’t stop trying—he kept moving. He wept in humility and cried out to God. Be shrewd: protect yourself. Be innocent: don’t assume you know all the answers. Humbly look to God for direction. MIMBS 8 What is your first instinct when facing injustice? Think about the responses above. Do you give up? Try to take matters into your own hands? Do you pray? Daily Reading: Job 20:1-22:30, 2 Corinthians 1:1-11, Psalm 40:11-17, Proverbs 22:2-4

Thursday—August 27 • In God’s Hands David then said to Abishai and all his officials, “My son, who is of my own flesh, is trying to take my life. How much more, then, this Benjamite! Leave him alone; let him curse, for the Lord has told him to. It may be that the Lord will see my distress and repay me with good for the cursing I am receiving today.” 2 Samuel 16:11–12

At the same time David’s son was trying to kill him, he was also being taunted and attacked by a man named Shimei, a relative of Saul. One of David’s warriors, Abishai, wanted to go after Shimei for revenge, but David stopped him. Are you ever tempted to avenge yourself? Waiting on the Lord means we don’t have to defend ourselves against injustice. We don’t always understand why God allows some things to happen, but that doesn’t mean they aren’t purposeful to God. If we take matters into our own hands, we prevent the opportunity for God to do His will and bring deliverance. “It may be that the

Lord will see my distress and repay me with good,” David said. David prayed and entrusted himself to the sovereignty of a gracious God. The world may see the failure to act immediately as weakness. But the most powerful way to respond to injustice is to wait for the Lord. MIMBS 8 Why do you think it’s so hard to resist the temptation to avenge yourself? Has there ever been a time when you let something go and saw God move as a result? Daily Reading: Job 23:1-27:23, 2 Corinthians 1:12-2:11, Psalm 41:1-13, Proverbs 22:5-6

Friday, Saturday, Sunday —August 28, 29, 30 A Powerful Response Now David had been told, “Ahithophel is among the conspirators with Absalom.” So David prayed, “O Lord, turn Ahithophel’s counsel into foolishness.” 2 Samuel 15:31

David’s own son, Absalom, is trying to kill him. And now, David finds out Ahithophel (who once was one of David’s most trusted, wise advisors) is conspiring with Absalom. David could have had Ahithophel killed. But David didn’t take matters into his own hands. Instead, he prayed to God that He would turn Ahithophel’s counsel into foolishness. Ahithophel advises Absalom: “Lie with your father’s concubines whom he left to take care of the palace. Then all Israel will hear that you have made yourself a stench in your father’s nostrils, and the hands of everyone with you will be strengthened” (2 Samuel 16:21). This was David’s counselor and friend—talk about injustice! He then advised Absalom to assemble 12,000 troops and kill David right then—when David was vulnerable, tired and weary. Why would Ahithophel turn on David like this? Earlier, in 2 Samuel 11, when David sends for Bathsheba, she is said to be the daughter of Eliam. This is a father whose daughter has been seduced into adultery and whose son eventually dies. Interestingly, in 2 Samuel 23:24, Eliam is listed as the son of Ahithophel. Perhaps we have a little more context now surrounding Ahithophel’s motives for betrayal! Sometimes the injustices done against us are really

consequences of the sinful choices we’ve made. However, God still responds to David’s cries and prayers and turns the situation around for his good. After Ahithophel gives his advice, a man named Hushai gives different advice. He advises Absalom to first assemble all of Israel and then go after David. They go with Hushai’s advice and in doing so, give David time to escape. 2 Samuel 17:14 says: “Absalom and all the men of Israel said, ‘The advice of Hushai the Arkite is better than that of Ahithophel.’ For the Lord had determined to frustrate the good advice of Ahithophel in order to bring disaster on Absalom.” Sometimes our own actions can result in future trials. We think they are unjust, but our own actions may have contributed. Even so, trust in a sovereign and good God to bring about His plan and purpose for your life. MIMBS 8 Have you experienced consequences for your own past decisions and labeled them injustices? Do you find it easier or harder to submit to a sovereign God in these situations? Why? Daily Reading: Job 28:1-36:33, 2 Corinthians 2:12-4:12, Psalm 42:1-44:8, Proverbs 22:7-12

For Your Small Group

❏❏ For August 24-30—Read the following definitions aloud: Injustice—“Violation of the rights of others” and Revenge—“To inflict punishment in return for injury or insult.” •• What kinds of injustices really push your buttons? •• Have you ever sought revenge for an injustice? What was the result? •• What can we learn from King David about dealing with the injustices of life?

Monday—August 31 • Helping Our Children

David sent word to Tamar at the palace: “Go to the house of your brother Amnon.” 2 Samuel 13:7 The story of David’s son, Amnon, is a study in rebellion and selfishness—but it’s also a study in poor fatherhood. Amnon was in love with his sister, Tamar, so he came up with a scheme to lure her. He pretended to be ill and he asked his father, David, to send Tamar to make food for him. David agreed without even questioning his son. The result was that Amnon raped Tamar, and Absalom eventually killed Amnon. Amnon’s sin was not David’s fault. But if David had been paying attention— if he had been a good father—he might have been able to prevent Amnon from making a bad decision, and perhaps even

Absalom from taking revenge. We don’t know what would have happened. What we do know is that David dropped the ball on parenting. We are not responsible for our children’s choices, particularly when they’re older. But we are responsible for preparing them as best we can to make right choices. We have a God-given mandate to be involved in the lives of our children. MIMBS 9 Make a list of the ways you are involved in your kids’ lives. Share your list with other guys to compare and get some new ideas. Daily Reading: Job 37:1-39:30, 2 Corinthians 4:13-5:10, Psalm 44:9-26, Proverbs 22:13

Tuesday—September 1 • Why Dads Fail Teach them to your children, talking about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Deuteronomy 11:19

The Bible doesn’t tell us exactly why David failed as a father. But it was most likely one of the following three reasons—the same reasons why parents sometimes fail today. •• Some parents don’t seem to care. While that’s possible in David’s case, it’s not likely. A man after God’s own heart would almost certainly not be apathetic about his children. •• Many parents simply don’t know how. So many parents today didn’t have parents of their own. Apart from getting some training or counseling, they don’t know how to be good parents because they’ve never seen what good parenting looks like. •• Some parents don’t think it’s that important. Parenting is not a high

priority. Perhaps running the kingdom and waging war—in other words, getting consumed with his career— prevented him from being the kind of father he could have been. This was most likely David’s problem. If you care about being a good parent, you’ll do two things. You’ll find out what it means to be a good parent, and you’ll make it a priority. MIMBS 9 Which of the three problems above do you think is most prevalent today? Do you see any of these three issues in your own parenting? What will you do about it? Daily Reading: Job 40:1-42:17, 2 Corinthians 5:11-21, Psalm 45:1-17, Proverbs 22:14

Wednesday—September 2 • The Blame Game Train up a child in the way he should go, And when he is old he will not depart from it. Proverbs 22:6, nkjv

One of the toughest questions about parenting is how much responsibility parents should have for the conduct of their children. How much blame should the parents get for their child’s bad behavior? How much credit should the parents get for the good behavior? It really depends, doesn’t it? When our kids are two years old, for example, we can have a profound impact on their behavior. But there comes a point when our children become responsible for their own lives and actions. You can’t force a child to turn out well. And although neglect can contribute to a child turning out badly, many children manage to emerge from neglectful homes as healthy, vibrant members of

society. Ultimately, our children’s choices will be their own. We can help them learn to make right decisions by being good parents during their formative years. How? By fathering our children’s hearts—teaching them right motivation and right thinking—so that when they’re older they won’t depart from it. MIMBS 9 What lessons did you learn from your parents that you have “not departed from”? How has this shaped your parenting? Share your thoughts with a few other men. Daily Reading: Ecclesiastes 1:1-3:22, 2 Corinthians 6:1-13, Psalm 46:1-11, Proverbs 22:15

Thursday—September 3 • Yes and No Folly is bound up in the heart of a child, but the rod of discipline will drive it far from him. Proverbs 22:15

The Bible tells us that young children are foolish, and that it’s our responsibility as parents to drive that out of them through discipline. Our kids are not wise. Their natural inclination is to make many bad choices. And that’s where our responsibility as fathers comes in—to show our kids how to make right choices. Noted expert Dr. Larry Crabb says, “Our kids need to know two things …yes, I love you, and no, you can’t have your own way.” Every corruption that you see between parent and child comes from not getting

that formula right. We either don’t reinforce our love for them, or we constantly let them rule the roost, or else we do both. Any of those three combinations are lethal to healthy parenting. Choose the fourth way: love, limits and protection. MIMBS 9 Of these four possible strategies, which is your parenting style most like? What was your parents’ style with you? Daily Reading: Ecclesiastes 4:1-6:12, 2 Corinthians 6:14-7:7, Psalm 47:1-9, Proverbs 22:16

Friday, Saturday, Sunday—September 4, 5, 6 Three Keys To Parenting

When the time drew near for David to die, he gave a charge to Solomon his son. “I am about to go the way of all the earth,” he said. “So be strong, show yourself a man, and observe what the Lord, your God, requires: Walk in his ways, and keep his decrees and commands, his laws and requirements, as written in the Law of Moses, so that you may prosper in all you do and wherever you go.” 1 Kings 2:1–3

Fathers, do not provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord. Ephesians 6:4, nkjv David was a man after God’s own heart, but his record as a father—as illustrated by the choices and actions of some of his children—was disappointing. Here are three areas to focus on to avoid the same disappointment: Give Your Kids Training. Proverbs 22:6 says, “Train up a child in the way he should go, And when he is old he will not depart from it” (nkjv). Training our kids takes time, and you’ve got to be committed to spending lots of it with your kids. Focused time means eliminating distractions. For example, when I had kids at home, I always left work at 6 p.m. I would allow my mind to decompress and process all the things from work until I got to a little bridge two minutes from home. Then, I would put all those thoughts into a ‘mental briefcase,’ snap it shut and throw it off the bridge into the water. I didn’t think about business anymore that evening. That way, I could focus on my kids, training them about life, about Christ. Training is a function of undistracted time. Give Your Kids Structure. In North Carolina, there is a sheer cliff that’s about 2,000 feet to the floor below. When we hike up there and

walk along that ridge, my family and I walk right up to the edge and look down. Pretty brave people, aren’t we? Not really. The reason we can do that is because of a huge guardrail. That’s what structure does for your kids. With proper boundaries they know the limits and they can act with confidence inside those limitations. Give Your Kids Your Prayer. Prayer is the single most practical thing that we can do. You and your wife are probably the only people who are willing to pray for your children on a regular basis. We can’t know how God is going to order the steps of our children. But, we can know that He is the one who is going to order them. Invite Him every day to be involved in our parenting and in ordering the steps of our children. A child can accidentally turn out wrong. But turning out right is no accident. MIMBS 9 Give yourself a grade in each area—Training, Structure and Prayer. What are some ways you can be more intentional in each area? Daily Reading: Ecclesiastes 7:1-12:14, Song of Solomon 1:1-4:16, 2 Corinthians 7:8-8:24, Psalm 48:1-50:23, Proverbs 22:17-23

For Your Small Group

❏❏ For August 31-September 6—From the devotional on page 44, what are three ways that parents fail? •• Share with the group one of these areas that you have failed your children or you were failed by your parents. •• What message did you give or receive through that failure? •• This week: Observe and act on one area of parenting that you can improve upon.

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Give the dads in your church The Dad in the Mirror. Order by the box. Page 32

Monday—September 7 • Living in Context

This deathbed statement is a blessing and challenge to Solomon. It is a powerful legacy. In 2 Samuel 23:1 it says, “These are the last words of David: ‘The oracle of David son of Jesse.’ ” David understands his identity in the family lineage from his father, Jesse, to his son, Solomon. He’s in context. I have a family lineage, and so do you. We don’t live for our own generation. We’re the products of the generation from which we come, and we build into the generation that comes after us. We are part of a continuum in time. It is very important to remember that our identity includes these three generations. This is our context—and

our responsibility. A responsibility to follow God and His Word, and to charge our sons and daughters to do the same. MIMBS 10 Are you living for this generation or the next? What would you say to your children on your own deathbed? Daily Reading: Song of Solomon 5:1-8:14, 2 Corinthians 9:115, Psalm 51:1-19, Proverbs 22:24-25

Tuesday—September 8 • Wants vs. Needs These are the last words of David: “The oracle of David son of Jesse, the oracle of the man exalted by the Most High, the man anointed by the God of Jacob, Israel’s singer of songs.” 2 Samuel 23:1

God gave incredible success to David. If part of my identity is that I am successful, God alone gave me that success. God anointed David’s life. If you want to, you can live today and every day of your life anointed by God. All you have to do is bring yourself in full surrender into the presence of the Living Christ and invite Him to live His life through you. What keeps us from doing this? We want things. I want this success. I want that money. I want this power. I want that woman. I want things. In fact, I don’t even think I can be happy unless I have these things.

Here’s a prayer for you today: “Lord, please do not give me what I want; give me what I need. I want my identity and legacy to be in Christ. Lord, please don’t give me what I want. I keep asking You for all these things—but don’t give them to me, Lord. Don’t give me what I want; give me what I need.” MIMBS 10 Are there things you want that are distracting you from God’s plan for you? Are you willing to pray, “Lord, just give me what I need”? Daily Reading: Isaiah 1:1-2:22, 2 Corinthians 10:1-18, Psalm 52:1-9, Proverbs 22:26-27

Wednesday—September 9 • Is It All Worth It? Surely in vain have I kept my heart pure; in vain have I washed my hands in innocence. All day long I have been plagued; I have been punished every morning. If I had said, “I will speak thus,” I would have betrayed your children. Psalm 73:13–15

Is doing the right thing day after day worth all the trouble? Here is the same passage out of the New Living Translation. “Did I keep my heart pure for nothing? Did I keep myself innocent for no reason? I get nothing but trouble all day long; every morning brings me pain.” Ever say that? Then David says this, “If I had really spoken this way to others, I would have been a traitor to your people.” It is okay to think such things. But we do have to make sure we are asking the right questions and realizing that the answers

may not make sense to us. God doesn’t always give me what I want. He does a lot better than that; He gives me what I need. If He didn’t, and instead gave me what I want, I certainly would destroy myself. MIMBS 10 Are you struggling right now, wondering if all the effort to follow God is really worth it? Share your struggles with some brothers and pray together. Daily Reading: Isaiah 3:1-5:30, 2 Corinthians 11:1-15, Psalm 53:1-6, Proverbs 22:28-29

Thursday—September 10 • I Told You I Was Ill The Spirit of the Lord spoke through me; his word was on my tongue. The God of Israel spoke, the Rock of Israel said to me: “When one rules over men in righteousness, when he rules in the fear of God, he is like the light of morning at sunrise on a cloudless morning, like the brightness after rain that brings the grass from the earth.’” 2 Samuel 23:2–4

A headstone in the graveyard of St. Thomas’s Church in England reads: “I told you I was ill.” Very few people, it seems, are prepared—or able—to give a meaningful speech at the end of their lives. That’s probably because most people are not thinking about leaving a legacy. But David was, and he spoke of righteousness and reverence. Do you want to make a contribution? Find your identity in Christ. And then live a righteous and reverent life. Ensure that your legacy will be one you want to give a speech about. Very few

people get to give speeches at the end of the day. Most of your story will be told by others. “I told you I was ill” may be amusing, but it is not a legacy that gives glory to God. Let’s endeavor to leave a legacy of righteousness and reverence, just like David did. MIMBS 10 Could your tombstone say you lived a righteous and reverent life? Daily Reading: Isaiah 6:1-7:25, 2 Corinthians 11:16-33, Psalm 54:1-7, Proverbs 23:1-3

q Friday, Saturday, Sunday—September 11, 12, 13 • Finishing Well I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith. 2 Timothy 4:7 One night recently I stopped to put gas in the car. It was dark, and a suspicious-looking guy with a red baseball cap walked in front of my car. I noticed he sort of glanced over at me a little nervously. Then he went over on the other side of the pump and stood there. I thought, “Is this guy going to carjack me?” I kept looking out of the corner of my eye at this guy as I filled the tank. He kept watching me, too. Then I noticed he had a bunch of paper towels in his hand. He worked at the station, and he was just waiting until I finished so he could put the towels in the dispenser! Finishing well is critical, but that night I thought that I wasn’t going to finish at all. I was focusing on the wrong thing, allowing myself to get

distracted by my own fears. In retrospect it was silly, but I was actually formulating a plan to hit the guy with the gas pump if he came after me! Finishing well depends on avoiding the distractions of our fears or wants. Are you asking the right questions? Because you won’t be focusing on what matters most if you’re asking the wrong questions. Am I concerned with the next generation? Am I asking God for what I need rather than what I want? Am I living a righteous and reverent life? These are the questions we all need to ask every day. MIMBS 10 Spend some time contemplating the questions above, and then pray about them. Daily Reading: Isaiah 8:1-14:32, 2 Corinthians 12:1-13:14, Psalm 55:1-57:11, Proverbs 23:4-11

For Your Small Group

❏❏ For September 7-13—Have the group name some men that they believe have finished well. Think of at least one famous man and one you know personally. •• What do these men have in common? Did they finish well in the eyes of their family? Country? Church? •• What do you want to be remembered for? Who do you want to be remembered by? •• What do you need to change in your life to be remembered in the way you want to be remembered? •• From last week: Share the area of parenting that you are attempting to change.

Monday—September 14 • Future Generations

The Lord had said to Abram, “Leave your country, your people and your father’s household and go to the land I will show you. I will make you into a great nation and I will bless you; I will make your name great, and you will be a blessing. Genesis 12:1–2 In the book of Genesis, God sets the foundation for the rest of the Scriptures, and indeed, for our lives as His followers. In Genesis we have the story of Creation, the Flood and the tower of Babel. We also have the rich history of the patriarchs of the nation of Israel, including Abraham, Isaac and Jacob. God used these men to create a legacy for His people. You and I share in this legacy. These men are our spiritual patriarchs, and their lives thousands of years ago still provide the foundations for our beliefs and our relationship with God. Can you imagine generations from now that your descendents might remember you? Every man leaves a legacy. There will not be scripture written about you and me, but

we do have an impact on those that follow us— both directly, through our own family, and indirectly, through those that we impact for the kingdom. Every relationship, every decision we make can have an impact for years and generations to come.—Brett Clemmer Do you think God uses you to prepare your kids or others around you for the future? How might this impact the way you live your life? Daily Reading: Isaiah 15:1-18:7, Galatians 1:124, Psalm 58:1-11, Proverbs 23:12

Tuesday—September 15 • Passing on Life’s Lessons Terah took his son Abram, his grandson Lot son of Haran, and his daughter-in-law Sarai, the wife of his son Abram, and together they set out from Ur of the Chaldeans to go to Canaan. But when they came to Haran, they settled there. Genesis 11:31

The Bible tells the story of Abram and his wife Sarai (they would later become Abraham and Sarah). They are living with Abram’s father in Haran when God speaks to Abram: “Leave your country, your people and your father’s household and go to the land I will show you” (Genesis 12:1). Perhaps you have heard this story often enough that you take it for granted—God told Abram to go, so he went. Abram’s willingness to take everything he had and go, however, is not just about Abram’s faith. Just prior to God’s command to Abram, we read about Abram’s father, Terah, taking Abram, Sarai and Lot and moving from Ur to Haran. This move was part of Terah’s legacy to

Abram. When the call came from God, “Go,” Abram was already prepared to make the move because he had done it before. God uses our past experiences to prepare us for new ones. And He uses fathers to pass these lessons down, even when we don’t realize that’s what He’s doing.—Brett Clemmer What experiences did you have as a child that prepared you for similar events as an adult? Do you see now that God was using that to prepare you? Talk with some other men about your experiences. Daily Reading: Isaiah 19:1-21:17, Galatians 2:116, Psalm 59:1-17, Proverbs 23:13-14

Wednesday—September 16 • Following God’s Plan I want you to swear by the Lord, the God of heaven and the God of earth, that you will not get a wife for my son from the daughters of the Canaanites, among whom I am living, but will go to my country and my own relatives and get a wife for my son Isaac. Genesis 24:3–4

In Genesis 24, Abraham sends his servant back to his own people to find a wife for his son Isaac. The servant points out that it would be easier to find a local woman. Abraham does not want his son to marry a Canaanite woman. He wants Isaac to marry within his own faith. The servant asks how he will find a woman from Abraham’s former home who will want to move so far away from her family. Abraham is insistent. The servant asks if he can take Isaac with him. Abraham is emphatic. Isaac cannot go with the servant—he is afraid he will stay, and thus disobey God’s plan for his descendents.

Every decision and instruction Abraham gives is designed for one purpose: to keep his son, Isaac, in the center of God’s plan. As fathers and leaders, our decisions affect the future of our offspring. We must remain as committed to helping them follow God’s plan as Abraham was.—Brett Clemmer Talk with your small group about the kinds of decisions you must make to help guide your children. Pray for God’s wisdom as you make these important decisions. Daily Reading: Isaiah 22:1-24:23, Galatians 2:17-3:9, Psalm 60:1-12, Proverbs 23:15-16

Thursday—September 17 • Living Examples And Isaac brought Rebekah into his mother Sarah’s tent, and she became his wife. He loved her deeply, and she was a special comfort to him after the death of his mother. Genesis 24:67, nlt

When I was a boy, the quickest way to anger my dad was to disrespect my mother. My dad loved (and still loves) my mom with great intensity. And so, by observation and a few pointed lessons, I learned from my dad how to treat a woman. Isaac must have learned the same thing from his father Abraham. At the end of Genesis 24, Isaac meets his new wife, Rebekah. It is interesting that the writer makes a point of saying, “She became his wife. He loved her deeply.” Isaac was able to be comforted by Rebekah because he loved her deeply. Do you love your wife deeply? Do your kids know it? Earlier in the chapter we also see that Rebekah

and her brother both showed great kindness and hospitality to Abraham’s servant. Where did they learn that from? Our kids watch us. They see the way we treat our wives and other people, and they emulate us. May we be godly examples to them in even the smallest interactions we have with those around us! —Brett Clemmer What are some lessons you learned by observing your dad or other mentors in your life? Were they positive or negative lessons? Talk with another man about how you can more intentionally prepare your own children to become godly adults. Daily Reading: Isaiah 25:1-28:13, Galatians 3:10-22, Psalm 61:1-8, Proverbs 23:17-18

Friday, Saturday, Sunday—September 18, 19, 20 Patterns for Life

So Isaac called for Jacob and blessed him and commanded him: “Do not marry a Canaanite woman.” Genesis 28:1 I have a 14-year-old daughter who is the delight of my heart. Her life looks to me like a minefield full of hidden dangers. One misstep, it seems, could have disastrous consequences. The dangers of driving, dating, peer pressure, and the performance orientation of both school and athletics are enough to make a dad want to lock his daughter in her room until she’s 25 (at least!). At the same time, I realize that the best way to protect my daughter is to prepare her now for when I will not be around. I won’t always be in the car with her, or on a date or go off to college with her. I am focused on teaching her to love and obey God and to make good decisions. The test of my legacy is not how she acts when I am present, but when I am not. In the same way, Abraham’s legacy to Isaac was most evident after Abraham was gone. Isn’t it interesting that Isaac says to his son, “Do not marry a Canaanite woman,” just as Abraham had charged his

servant to make sure that Isaac did not marry a woman “from the daughters of the Canaanites” (Genesis 24:3)? Esau did not marry within his faith, but married two Hittite women. “They were a source of grief to Isaac and Rebekah” (Genesis 26:35). One of the greatest lessons our kids can learn is the importance of marrying a follower of Christ. And the time to start learning that lesson is not “when they get serious.” If your son or daughter builds a pattern of dating non-Christians, they are much more likely to marry one. Start now. Insist on only godly relationships for your kids while you still have the most influence. Set a pattern that will prepare them for when you are not there. —Brett Clemmer What are some of the lessons and patterns you want your kids (or grandkids) to follow as adults? How can you start to write those lessons on their hearts right now? Daily Reading: Isaiah 28:14-36:22, Galatians 3:23-5:26, Psalm 62:1-64:10, Proverbs 23:19-23

For Your Small Group

❏❏ For September 14-20—Ask someone to read aloud the devotional, “Living Examples,” from September 17. •• Looking at the way you have lived your life, can you see the influence of the decisions or actions of your parents? How? •• What would be the one thing that you would like your child to pick up from your example? •• What one thing do you hope your child will not copy from your example in his adult life?

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Leave a lasting legacy. Let God use The Marriage Prayer in your life. Page 31

Monday—September 21 • Step One—Learn to Follow Jesus But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us. Romans 5:8

Based on my experience, men can basically be divided into five different groups, as far as their spiritual lives are concerned. The first group consists of those who don’t yet know Christ personally. They might be investigating Christianity—trying it on to see if it “fits.” But they haven’t yet made the commitment. If you’re in that group, I want you to understand that Jesus has a special love for you, and He wants you to know Him. He knows your past, and He is interested in improving your future. Through relationship with Him, you can do the spiritual equivalent of coming into a place of safety and rest.

You do that by becoming Jesus’ disciple. That might be an unfamiliar concept to you, so let me explain what it means. You simply recognize that your sin separates you from God. You ask for forgiveness, and you commit to learning about Jesus and following His example. MIMBS 11 If you don’t yet have a personal relationship with God and you would like to, talk to a Christian man you respect and have him help you make that step. If you have a relationship with Christ, reach out to someone who doesn’t. Daily Reading: Isaiah 37:1-38:22, Galatians 6:118, Psalm 65:1-13, Proverbs 23:24

q Tuesday—September 22 • Prescription for Cultural Christianity Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world. James 1:27 Some Christians mingle their faith with cultural norms. Their faith is weakened, even contaminated by worldly standards. I call these people Cultural Christians. The problem with Cultural Christianity is that it doesn’t bring freedom. Rather, it leads us back into a trap—like pornography or substance abuse or love of money, or some other snare. If you’re in that place, I invite you to become a disciple of Jesus. He’s the One who said, “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest

for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light” (Matthew 11:28–30). That’s the bottom line of discipleship—come to Jesus, and learn from Him. MIMBS 11 Is your faith contaminated by things that pull you away from God? Pray that God would give you a more pure faith. Consider finding a brother to walk with you through that process. Daily Reading: Isaiah 39:1-41:16, Ephesians 1:1-23, Psalm 66:1-20, Proverbs 23:25-28

Wednesday—September 23 • Disciples and Wanna-be’s To the Jews who had believed him, Jesus said, “If you hold to my teaching, you are really my disciples. Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.” John 8:31–32

Some Christians move beyond the standards of their culture and learn to live according to a different model. They study scripture and learn Jesus’ teachings, and they apply those lessons to their lives. These people are disciples, or they want to become disciples. If that’s your desire, be vigilant. Peter warned, “Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour.” Then he added, “Resist him, standing firm in the faith” (1 Peter 5:8–9). That means we should set up our own spiritual “Department of Homeland Security.” You

are engaged in a battle, but God will help you resist your enemy and stand firm in your faith. Jesus said His disciples would know the truth, and He promised, “The truth will set you free.” Ultimately, the difference between cultural Christianity and discipleship is freedom. MIMBS 11 Describe someone you know who is a “real disciple.” How do they seem to experience God’s freedom in their lives? Daily Reading: Isaiah 41:17-43:13, Ephesians 2:1-22, Psalm 67:1-7, Proverbs 23:29-35

Thursday—September 24 • Discipling Others And David knew that the Lord had established him as king over Israel and had exalted his kingdom for the sake of his people Israel. 2 Samuel 5:12

In a move to consolidate his monarchy, David and his men defeated the inhabitants of Jerusalem and took the fortressed city for their own headquarters. They accomplished this by finding an area of vulnerability—a water shaft that provided entry within the city walls. David knew that God had given this strategy for a reason that went beyond his own personal benefit. God had raised David up as a leader “for the sake of his people Israel.” Similarly, God raises up leaders today. He gives certain people a measure of spiritual power and authority, not just for their own benefit, but for the benefit of those who will

follow. Discipleship is the “water shaft” that will give entry into Satan’s strongholds and will allow Jesus’ followers to gain victory. If you’ve already found that “water shaft,” then prayerfully consider if God has someone whom He wants you to lead into that same discipleship relationship with God. MIMBS 11 Is God bringing someone to mind who needs to hear about the “water shaft” in God’s plan to defeat Satan? Write the person’s name down. How might you share the idea of discipleship with this person? Daily Reading: Isaiah 43:14-45:10, Ephesians 3:1-21, Psalm 68:1-18, Proverbs 24:1-2

Friday, Saturday, Sunday—September 25, 26, 27 Men Who Are Hurting The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. Psalm 34:18

So far, we have looked at four categories: •• Those who have not yet responded to Christ’s invitation to enter into relationship with Him. •• Those who have responded to Christ, but they are “Cultural Christians,” mingling their faith with the standards of our culture. •• Those who are disciples or want to be disciples, learning about Jesus and applying His life principles to their daily lives. •• Those who lead others and teach them to be disciples. The verse above describes a fifth group: Those who are hurting. Are you hurting? Rejoice that God is interested in your condition. He is close to you. Don’t be afraid to acknowledge the cause of your pain. Most of us will find we bear at least some responsibility for our own wounds. Perhaps you engaged in some ungodly habits, and now you’re trapped. If that’s true for you, admit any alliances you’ve made which have mingled your faith and your culture. Acknowledge that you’ve been snared by your own choices. And commit

(or recommit) to becoming Jesus’ disciple— one who seeks to learn about Him and from Him, employing those lessons in the business of daily living. Study scripture to discover God’s plan, and by faith, with personal discipline and training, equip yourself to defeat Satan’s purposes in your daily life. I invite you to join me in this prayer: Lord, Your Word says we are engaged in a spiritual battle for the souls of men. Many men are losing this battle, because they have mistaken a temporary calm for a permanent security. Some have been ambushed. Some don’t even know they can follow You—becoming disciples, accepting Your truth and moving into freedom. Father, I pray that You would help me, and every other man reading this devotional, to discover where we fit among the five categories listed above. Help us to dwell and meditate on the point You’ve brought to mind today. We ask that You would hear our prayer, and as You answer, we will give You glory. In Jesus’ name, Amen. MIMBS 11 Do you fall into the category of “men who are hurting”? How will you respond to this devotional? Daily Reading: Isaiah 45:11-53:12, Ephesians 4:1-5:33, Psalm 68:19-69:36, Proverbs 24:3-7

For Your Small Group

❏❏ For September 21-27—From the devotion above, what are the five different groups of men described in this devotional? •• In silence, think of men in your life that fit into those categories. Spend a couple of minutes praying for them. •• Do you think the majority of men in our church fit into one of those categories? •• How can our group or church more effectively minister to the men in our own church? What event or activity could we plan to start that process?

Monday—September 28 • God’s Plan for Israel

Your house and your kingdom will endure forever before me; your throne will be established forever 2 Samuel 7:16, nlt Throughout Israel’s history God watchfully prepared the nation’s leaders to establish the Messianic line of Christ. He established the line of David from which Jesus would be born. Who would be the next king of Israel? God sovereignly planned the circumstances to place the precise man on the throne to rule Israel. Throughout each king’s reign, God prepared the way for Jesus and for our eternal redemption. Just as God worked in the lives of Israel’s leaders preparing the way for redemption, God developed a plan for us that will work out the way that He wants it to. As believers we have the privilege and confidence of being part of God’s supreme plan and

knowing that He works out the end for His glory. As you look back over your life, do you see God’s hand in your life through your parents, grandparents, church, camp, school or neighborhood? Just as in the life of David and the nation of Israel, there has been a sovereign plan for you. MIMBS 12 Do you believe that God has a plan for you? Are you actively involved in seeking and working God’s plan? Do you trust God to ultimately do what is best for you? Daily Reading: Isaiah 54:1-57:14, Ephesians 6:1-24, Psalm 70:1-5, Proverbs 24:8-0

Tuesday—September 29 • God’s Plan and Free Will From one man he created all the nations throughout the whole earth. He decided beforehand when they should rise and fall, and he determined their boundaries. Acts 17:26, nlt

In the Bible and in our lives, God has a sovereign plan AND man has a will. That sounds contradictory, but see if this analogy makes sense. Imagine the earth is a birdcage and God said, “You’re a bird. I’m going to put you in this cage, and you have free will to do whatever you want in this bird cage except a few things: •• You can’t change from a bird into a dog.

Wednesday—September 30 • Our Redeemer We humans keep brainstorming options and plans, but God’s purpose prevails. Proverbs 19:21, The Message

There is never a time in the past or future when God suspends His sovereign rule over all of creation. This is reassuring because God is a redeemer. If He was anything else, this would not be a comfort. But God is a redeemer. He is leading, He is protecting, He is providing, He is guiding, and He is doing all of this to redeem us to Himself. Whatever contest or conflict that you are involved in, how is it going to be decided? Who knows about the outcome of an election, the end of a recession, or if someone is going to live or die? We don’t have those answers. But we do know Who is going to decide it—the Sovereign Ruler of all creation. Because there has never been, and there will never be, a time when God

suspends His sovereign rule over all creation. In that we can find comfort. If you are going through incredibly difficult times right now, remember God is sovereignly ruling over all of creation, and He is working out everything in conformity with the purpose of His will, and He is good. MIMBS 12 What conflict came to mind as you read this devotional? Are you trying to control that situation or do you trust in God’s plan? How do you balance your efforts with the need for trust and faith? Daily Reading: Isaiah 60:1-62:5, Philippians 1:27-2:18, Psalm 72:1-20, Proverbs 24:11-12

Want to learn about surviving the meltdown and helping others?

God determines parameters and boundaries that we cannot escape. Just like David, you will make real decisions in your life to go to the left or to the right. You’ll choose because that’s what you want to do. But whatever you choose will be part of God’s plan to result in either your blessing or your discipline. MIMBS 12

•• You can beat against the sides of the cage, but you really can’t escape the cage.

Think about a decision that you made that turned out to be a time of blessing or discipline in your life. Thank God for His plan for you and for your ability to make real choices.

•• If you want to lead a quiet life, it is actually going to be a very pleasant experience for you.

Daily Reading: Isaiah 57:1559:21, Philippians 1:1-26, Psalm 71:1-24, Proverbs 24:9-10

We are building a Web site with a FREE PDF version of the book and other resources to help you—videos, video clips, downloadable message transcripts, sermon ideas, speaker notes, listener outlines, a small group leader's guide, articles, helpful links, graphics, and sample promotional materials. Check it out at www.survivethemeltdown.org.

From the Web: disciplemen.com

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More to Come In May 2009, Lutheran Men in Mission (ELCA) held a dedicated No Man Left Behind Conference in Columbus, Ohio for their leaders from around the country. Cities proposed for Fall 2009 include Washington, D.C., Atlanta, Kansas City, Southern California, St. Louis, Nashville, Birmingham, Jacksonville and Phoenix, and others.

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