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HOW TO MASTER THE ART OF “RESPECTFUL TRUTH-TELLING” It’s time for professional women to stop glossing over their feelings at work and tell the truth, assertively. Senior healthcare executive and speaker Jackie Gaines, M.S., R.N. shares tips to help women find their voices through “respectful truth-telling.” WELLBEING. What woman hasn’t suppressed her true feelings to avoid conflict at work? We’ve all headed off disagreements by bending our standards or biting our tongues once in a while (or maybe more often than we would care to admit). After all, we don’t want to be labeled the “A” word, aggressive. But Jackie Gaines says you can make yourself heard and influence your organization without being loud, rude, arrogant, or disrespectful. “Many women truly believe they have a smaller range of acceptable behaviors than men,” says Gaines, author of Wearing the Yellow Suit: A Guide for Women in Leadership. “If they are too nice, they will be seen as weak or manipulative. If they are too aggressive, they will be judged as acting like men. The solution is to work on the skill of being assertive. Assertiveness enables us to think for ourselves, ask for what we need, and speak up.”
With assertiveness skills in their toolbox, women can learn how to better handle just about any situation that comes up—without seeming either shy or pushy. One such skill is “respectful-truth telling,” which simply means expressing your feelings and needs in a direct, honest way. “When you need to have a difficult conversation with someone, it’s best to be prepared,” says Gaines. “Having an idea of the actual words you plan to use ahead of time makes the experience easier and will help you feel calm and in control during the discussion.” Below are four examples of “respectful truth-telling” that you can add to your assertiveness toolbox. Once you have some experience speaking your mind while still being respectful to the other person or people, you will find your own words to use. But for now, here is some language to get you started.
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