• GARDENING • HUMOUR • TECHNOLOGY • LOCAL NEWS • HEALTH & FITNESS • SPORT • COMPETITION
THE EYE LIFEST YLE MAGAZINE
April 2013 NO. 46
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April 2013
Welcome
THE SUN MIGHT BE MISSING BUT THERE ARE STILL HIGHLIGHTS TO ENJOY! The combination of an early Easter and decidedly wintry weather that simply refuses to go away means that the arrival of spring we normally associate with April has definitely had to be postponed. The sound of the first lawn mower of the year is as relevant to April as the sound of the first cuckoo but it seems we’ll have to wait some time for both.
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But things are happening around the area with the regeneration of Redcar’s sea front well on the way to being finished and in this edition we are highlighting two of the benefits. The much loved metalwork ‘picture postcards’ have now been returned after being removed for the work to take place. One of the main highlights of the regeneration though the stunning Redcar Beacon - is now open to the public. Over the Easter weekend we saw it launched in a special weekend of events. This 80ft landmark forms the centrepiece of the multi-million pound sea front regeneration and provides spectacular views up and down the coast with a full 360 degree view from the top viewing deck. If we ever get a summer this is going to be a huge attraction for the many holidaymakers who find their way to Redcar.
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Also in this edition we have the prayer mat out for ‘Boro’s hopes of reversing the dramatic slide down the Championship table but we’re afraid that hopes of that happening are as likely as a sudden springtime heat wave.
The Editor
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Whats Inside
The Editor The Eye Magazine
MOTORING Page 6
HUMOUR Page 12
GARDENING Page 22
PICTURE POSTCARDS Page 8
COMPETITION Page 15
RECIPE Page 24
HEALTH & BEAUTY Page 10
DIY & IMPROVEMENTS Page 18
TECHNOLOGY Page 30
The Eye is published by Media Eye (NE) Ltd, Unit 308, Innovation Centre, Corfu Way, Kirkleatham Business Park, Redcar, TS10 5SH. Tel: 01642 759064. www.theeyemagazine.co.uk Email: contact@theeyemagazine.co.uk Editor: editor@theeyemagazine.co.uk
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Whereas all care is taken to ensure that advertisers adhere to advertising codes of practice and are of good standing, the publisher accepts no responsibility for any statement, error or omission in any advisement or editorial matter. Advertisements have been accepted in good faith but this does not imply that the advertisers have The Eye magazine’s endorsement and no guarantee can be given by The Eye. Whilst we make every effort to identify the copyright of photographs, the lapse of time invariably makes it impossible to credit individual pictures. No part of this publication may be reproduced without the prior written permission of the publisher © The Eye. The content and opinions expressed in articles published in The Eye magazine are those of the contributor and are not necessarily the view of the publisher.
The Eye Magazine is delivered to 13,250 homes in Redcar & Marske
THE EYE MAGAZINE
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/redcarcollege THE EYE MAGAZINE - APRIL 2013 | PAGE 3
THE EYE MAGAZINE
Career At Her Fingertips
T
eenager Bethany Bennett is proof that if you really want something you have to go out and get it.
When the 17-year-old was looking for a job in beauty therapy last year, she literally went knocking on doors until she found a business willing to take her on. It was that determination and commitment that impressed Deborah Crosby, owner of U Beauty Therapy in Eston. “Bethany just came into the salon one day and asked if I had any placements for an apprentice,” said Deborah. “She was bubbly, very chatty and I really liked her desire to find a job. I started the wheels in motion and we haven’t looked back since. Bethany is a great apprentice.” Deborah called Redcar & Cleveland College for guidance about hiring an apprentice, and from there she was supported and given advice about the best way forward and financial assistance available. The college initially placed Bethany on a tenPAGE 4 | THE EYE MAGAZINE - ISSUE 46
week paid placement at U Beauty Therapy, which enabled both Bethany and Deborah to test the water first and rewarded the teenager with £50 a week. The placement was a great success, so earlier this year Bethany was employed on an Apprenticeship. She is being trained in all aspects of beauty therapy, including facials, waxing, pedicures and manicures, and attends Redcar & Cleveland College one day a week, where she will gain NVQ qualifications during the next two years. Deborah added: “It’s great having Bethany at the salon. I’m training her up in all aspects of the treatments we offer, so that I can diversify and offer additional things too. She is doing incredibly well, so we are both benefiting.” Bethany said: “I knew I wanted to be a beauty therapist and thought an Apprenticeship was the best way to gain qualifications and experience, while also earning a wage. “My training is salon-based and very practical, but I get paid as well, which is perfect.
THE EYE MAGAZINE Eventually I would like to work on cruise ships, so this is giving me a great foundation. I love every minute.” Sarah Hood, Beauty Therapy Lecturer and Work-Based Learning Tutor at the College,said she believed Bethany would realise all of her dreams. “Bethany is a real pleasure to have in college. She has a great attitude to work and gets along extremely well with her clients and other students,” said Sarah. “She is still young, but is very ambitious and clear about what she wants to achieve, so I have no doubts whatsoever that she will succeed. She has everything that an employer looks for in an apprentice.”
Soothing hands: Apprentice Bethany Bennett has a bright future ahead
For more information about Apprenticeships or work placements, call the college on 01642 473132 or visit www.cleveland.ac.uk
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THE EYE MAGAZINE - APRIL 2013 | PAGE 5
Car review
The New Kia Rio SX FUN TO DRIVE AND VERY ECONOMICAL TO RUN!
T
he prospect of a new Kia Rio may not set pulses racing – previous incarnations of this Korean supermini haven’t exactly been inspiring to look at or drive but this has all changed with the arrival of the latest Rio. The new version not only looks like a classy super-mini contender, it drives like one too. And its lengthy seven-year warranty is infinitely better than anything offered by other mainstream rivals. In an attempt to keep costs as low as possible, Kia have previously introduced the Rio with the absolute minimum of refinement and extras, making it an inexpensive and useful vehicle for someone who isn’t interested in anything but eventually getting from A to B in comparative comfort. The 2013 Kia Rio SX changes all that, though, with a totally new look that could even said to be sporty. The only disadvantage of that is that the sporty shape means the rear window is quite small. Outweighing that minor disadvantage, PAGE 6 | THE EYE MAGAZINE - ISSUE 46
however, is the fact that the large number of additional onboard features now provided includes a rear camera for ease of parking. Where previous models left out simple items like power door locks, cruise control and electric windows, the all new Rio SX includes all three as well as automatic headlights, tilt/ telescoping steering wheel, power-folding side mirrors, and the already mentioned backup camera. The car also offers greatly
improved driving dynamics. The SX-specific sport suspension has higher-rate rear springs, specially valved shock absorbers, and a 2 mm-
thicker front anti-roll bar, all of which have suddenly elevated to a much higher plane among car enthusiasts. That doesn’t mean it has suddenly become all-powerful because in that area it’s still comparatively modest with a direct-injection, 1.6-litre I-4 creating 138 hp still among the lowest in its class. Keyless entry with push-button ignition and a 7-inch audio/ video/nav touchscreen display are offered as standard. Inside, it’s quite roomy with plenty of driving space and decent legroom for rear seat passengers. Boot space is reasonable though not as big as some of the other cars in this class. It would certainly hold a week’s worth of groceries, though! Still majoring on economy, however, the new version can be purchased for under £10,000 and Kia boast that the car has an amazing top economy performance of 88 miles per gallon. If this is actually achievable it makes the car incredibly cheap to run. It’s also fun to drive and visually attractive and if you’re in the market for a compact car that has ample interior space it’s certainly worth examining.
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THE EYE MAGAZINE
Local News
‘Picture Postcards’ Return
A
s the work on Redcar sea front is near completion, familiar items that have been temporarily removed during the redevelopment are gradually returning to a place of prominence. The "picture postcards" along the sea front railing were removed to be replaced with the new sea defence wall. The "picture postcards" have recently returned to a new location on the sea front promenade. Back in 1995 a competition was held among local blacksmiths to create unusual and interesting designs that would bring character to the north end of Redcar promenade. The winner came up with a most appropriate design- a series of metal sculptures that represented that most familiar seaside favourite the picture postcard. The 23 ‘postcards’ were fashioned in wrought iron using traditional metalworkers’ techniques by Chris Topp & Co Ltd from designs by Stephen Abbey, Humphrey Holland, Richard Albanese and Pete Douglas. Each represents a local scene and each one includes a letter which, when taken in order, form a riddle with a hidden clue. They have been truly appreciated by the general public in their prominent promenade position between the Regent Cinema and the Boating Lake ever since. Until, that is, they were removed last year for the transformation of Redcar Seafront. Happily, they have now been PAGE 8 | THE EYE MAGAZINE - ISSUE 46
returned following a full restoration by the original manufacturers Chris Topp & Co Ltd and will form an integral part of the multi-million pound transformation of the promenade. Cabinet Member for Culture, Leisure and Tourism, Cllr Olwyn Peters said: "The postcards have become a much loved part of the promenade in Redcar and we are delighted to have them back in place fully restored to compliment the revamped seafront area which is due to open in the spring and will include new leisure spaces, fun zones with water play areas and show rides." Chris Topp was delighted to see the postcards returned. "The contract in 1995 for the original postcards was a turning point for our company,” he said, “ as it was one of our first major public art commissions and called upon the skills of several local artists and blacksmiths. It was a pleasure after all these years to be asked to renew our association with the panels and refurbish them as part of the transformation of Redcar seafront." £30m has been invested in the Redcar sea defence and promenade development by the Environment Agency and Redcar & Cleveland Borough Council.
THE EYE MAGAZINE
What’s New For Summer With Adult Learning Adult Learning have some great new courses on offer this Summer Beginners ICT sessions Monday 29th April - 1:00pm - 3:00pm Guisborough Library Thursday 2nd May - 9:30am - 11:30am Coatham Local Learning Centre Circus Skills (10 weeks) Starting Monday 15th April - Redcar Academy
Day Courses
Easter Cookery Monday 25th March - 10:30am – 3:30pm De-Brus Skelton Lingerie, Lounge Wear and Corsetry Monday 15th April - 6pm-9pm - Redcar Academy
An opportunity to design and make your own garments; This taster session will introduce you to a range of construction and embellishment techniques.
Gel Nails Thursday 18th April - 9:30am – 1:30pm & 5.00pm - 9.00pm - Redcar Academy (must have attended an Acrylic Nails course to enrol) Do your children ask for your help with maths homework? Have you forgotten the basics? We can help. We deliver Free Maths and English Classes for people of all abilities and confidence levels in community venues across the Borough. Call Skills for Life on: 01642 492002 We can even help out with childcare and learning resources on all of our accredited courses. If you can’t decided what course will be best for you why not give us a ring we can help.
For further information contact Adult Learning on: 01642 490409 Email adult_education@redcar-cleveland.gov.uk Follow us on facebook : www.facebook.com/adultlearningredcar
this is Redcar & Cleveland
www.redcar-cleveland.gov.uk
THE EYE MAGAZINE - APRIL 2013 | PAGE 9
THE EYE MAGAZINE
Health & Beauty
Eight Tips For A Really Healthy Diet
P
erhaps the most obvious advice around is that eating a healthy, balanced diet can help you feel your best. Sadly, many people don’t know what a really healthy balanced diet actually is but following these tips will make sure you’re heading in the right direction.
1. Eat the right number of calories for how active you are. That’s the way to balance the energy you consume with the energy you use. Eat or drink too much, you’ll put on weight. Eat and drink too little, you’ll lose weight. The average man needs around 2,500 calories a day, the average woman needs 2,000 but most adults are eating more calories than they need. Eating a wide range of the right foods will give your body all the nutrients it needs. 2. Don’t get thirsty and don’t skip breakfast. We need to drink about 1.2 litres of fluid every day to stop us getting dehydrated. This is in addition to the fluid we get from the food we eat. All non-alcoholic drinks count, but water, milk and fruit juices are healthier. Try to avoid sugary soft and fizzy drinks that can be high in calories and bad for teeth. When the weather is warm, or when we get active, we may need more. Some people skip breakfast because they think it will help them lose weight. In fact, research shows that eating breakfast can help people control their weight. A healthy breakfast is an important part of a balanced diet, and provides some of the vitamins and minerals we need for good health. Wholemeal cereal, with fruit PAGE 10 | THE EYE MAGAZINE - ISSUE 46
sliced over the top, is a tasty and nutritious breakfast.
3. Eat lots of fruit and vegetables. It’s recommended that we eat at least five portions of different types of fruit and veg a day and actually that’s easier than it sounds. A glass of 100% unsweetened fruit juice can count as one portion, and vegetables cooked into dishes also count. As does chopping a banana over your breakfast cereal, or swapping your usual mid-morning snack for some dried fruit. 4. Base your meals on starchy foods. Starchy foods include potatoes, cereals, pasta, rice and bread and should make up around one third of your diet. Choose the more
THE EYE MAGAZINE fibrous wholegrain varieties when you can. It’s a myth that starchy foods are fattening because gram for gram they contain less than half the calories of fat. 5. Eat more fish. It’s is a great source of protein and contains many vitamins and minerals. Aim to eat at least two portions a week, including at least one portion of oily fish like salmon, mackerel, trout, herring, fresh tuna, sardines and pilchards because it’s high in omega-3 fats which may help prevent heart disease. Non-oily fish includes haddock, plaice, coley, cod, tinned tuna, skate and hake. If you do eat a lot of fish try to vary it as much as possible. 6. Cut down on saturated fat and sugar. We all need some fat in our diet but it’s important to pay attention to the amount and type. The two main types are saturated and unsaturated. Too much saturated fat can increase the amount of cholesterol in the blood, increasing risk of heart disease. Cut down on things like hard cheese, cakes, biscuits, sausages, cream, butter, lard and pies and choose foods that contain unsaturated fat like vegetable oils, oily fish and avocados. When you're having meat, choose lean cuts and cut off any visible fat. Most people in the UK eat and drink too much sugar but you can easily cut down on sugary fizzy drinks, alcoholic drinks, cakes, biscuits and pastries, which contain added sugars rather than those found naturally in foods such as fruit and milk. Food labels can help: use them to check how much sugar foods contain. More than 15g of sugar per 100g means that the food is high in sugar. 7. Eat less salt. About three-quarters of the salt we eat is already in the food we buy, such as breakfast cereals, soups, breads and sauces. Too much salt can raise your blood pressure so check labels. More than 1.5g of salt per 100g means the food is high in salt. Adults and children over 11 should eat no more than 6g of salt a day.
8. Get active and be a healthy weight. Eating a healthy, balanced diet plays an essential role in maintaining a healthy weight. It’s a no-brainer that physical activity can get you there but that doesn’t have to mean hours at the gym: you can find ways to fit more activity into your daily life. For example, try getting off the bus one stop early on the way home from work, and walking. Being physically active may help reduce the risk of heart disease, stroke and type 2 diabetes.
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THE EYE MAGAZINE - APRIL 2013 | PAGE 11
THE EYE MAGAZINE
Why It’s Hard To Trust A Lawyer A Mafia Godfather finds out that his bookkeeper of 20 years, Guido, has cheated him out of $10,000,000. Guido is deaf which is why he got the Job in the first place. The Godfather assumed that since Guido could not hear anything, he could never testify in court. When the Godfather goes to confront Guido about his missing $10 million, he takes along his personal lawyer because he knows sign language. The Godfather tells the lawyer, "Ask him where the money is!" The lawyer, using sign language, asks Guido, "Where's the money?" Guido signs back, "I don't know what you are talking about." The lawyer tells the Godfather, "He says he doesn't
know what you are talking about." The Godfather pulls out a pistol, puts it to Guido's head and says, "Ask him again and if he doesn’t tell you I'll kill him!" The lawyer signs to Guido, "He'll kill you if you don't tell him." Guido trembles and signs back, "OK! You win! The money is in a brown Briefcase, buried behind the shed at my cousin Bruno's house." The Godfather asks the lawyer, "What did he say?" The lawyer replies, "He says you don't have the guts to pull the trigger."
One Liners • What kind of shoes are made from bananas skins? Slippers. • What kind of rooms have no walls? Mushrooms. • When is a door not a door? When it's ajar.
• What happened to the boy who drank 8 cokes? He burped 7-Up. • I wondered why the frisbee was getting bigger, and then it hit me. • I bet you I could stop gambling.
The Ultimate Blonde Story An old, blind cowboy wanders into an all-girl biker bar by mistake. He finds his way to a barstool and orders a shot of Jack Daniels. After sitting there for a while, he yells to the bartender, “Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?” The bar immediately falls absolutely silent. In a very deep, husky voice, the woman next to him says, “Before you tell that joke, Cowboy, I think it is only fair, given that you are blind, that you should know five things… PAGE 12 | THE EYE MAGAZINE - ISSUE 46
The bartender is a blonde girl with a baseball bat. The bouncer is muscle-bound blonde girl. I'm a six-foot tall, 175-pound blonde woman with a black belt in karate. The woman sitting next to me is blonde and a professional weightlifter. The lady to your right is blonde and a professional wrestler. Now, think about it seriously, Cowboy. Do you still wanna tell that blonde joke?” The blind cowboy thinks for a second, shakes his head and mutters, “Well no! Not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times.”
THE EYE MAGAZINE
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THE EYE MAGAZINE - APRIL 2013 | PAGE 13
THE EYE MAGAZINE
General Knowledge
Origins of English Expressions
W
e’ve recently highlighted some of the more peculiar yet familiar English expressions and their origins. Here are a few more to let you know just why you utter some of these oft-used statements. In the 1400's a law was set forth in England that a man was allowed to beat his wife with a stick no thicker than his thumb. Hence we have 'the rule of thumb' Many years ago in Scotland, a new game was invented. It was ruled 'Gentlemen Only... Ladies Forbidden,’ and thus, the word GOLF entered into the English language. In Shakespeare's time, mattresses were secured on bed frames by ropes. When you pulled on the ropes, the mattress tightened, making the bed firmer to sleep on. Hence the phrase...'Goodnight, sleep tight'
It was the accepted practice in Babylon 4,000 years ago that for a month after the wedding, the bride's father would supply his son-inlaw with all the mead he could drink. Mead is a honey beer and because their calendar was lunar based, this period was called the honey month, which we know today as the honeymoon. In English pubs, ale used to be ordered by pints and quarts.... so in old England , when customers got unruly, the bartender would yell at them ; 'Mind your pints and quarts, and settle down.’ It's where we get the phrase: 'mind your P's and Q's' Many years ago in England, pub frequenters had a whistle baked into the rim, or handle, of their ceramic cups. When they needed a refill, they used the whistle to get some service. 'Wet your whistle' is the phrase inspired by this practice. So now you know….
Did You Know? 1. 2. 3. 4.
Sea otters hold hands with there partner otter whilst sleeping so they don’t drift away. The most commonly used letter in English language is ‘E’ and least used is ‘Q’. On average there are 333 squares of toilet paper on each roll. On average more money is spent on Gardening than any other hobby.
PAGE 14 | THE EYE MAGAZINE - ISSUE 46
THE EYE MAGAZINE
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One lucky reader has the chance to win a fantastic prize courtesy of Miss Lily’s on Redcar High Street. One winner will receive a pair of Wahl Taper Pro Clippers worth £59.99 and a Turbo Pro Hair Dryer worth £24.99. That’s not all two lucky runner ups will also receive prizes. Second place will receive a pair of 25mm Wahl Curling Tongs worth £10.99 and third prize a pair 19mm Wahl Curling Tongs worth £9.99. For your chance to win simply visit our website or facebook page and enter the competition page. You will need the following code to enter CODE: EW13
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Terms & Conditions Apply. No Purchase Necessary. Winners will be picked at random. One Entry Per Person. Images for illustration purposes only. Winners will receive email with voucher to collect items from Miss Lily’s on Redcar High Street. Prize draw run in conjunction with The Local Answer. Closing Date Online 20th April 2013, Postal Entries 22nd April 2013. You can enter by post by sending a postcard with your name, address and phone number to The Eye Magazine, Unit 308 The Innovation Centre, Kirkleatham Business Park, Redcar, Cleveland. TS10 2SH
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THE EYE MAGAZINE - APRIL 2013 | PAGE 15
THE EYE MAGAZINE
Local News
The Beacon Is Now Open
T
he Redcar Beacon is now open to the public. Over the Easter weekend we saw the grand opening of the Redcar Beacon in a special weekend of events. This stunning 80ft landmark, which forms the centrepiece of a multi-million pound regeneration of Redcar Seafront, provides spectacular views up and down the coast from various viewing platforms and full 360 degree view from the top viewing deck. Along with an attractive and appealing promenade, Redcar's new icon will bring something special and unique to the town. The Redcar Beacon will includes a cafe/ bistro space on the ground floor where you can enjoy a cup of tea or a bite to eat while enjoying the coastal views from the beautifully curved interior or the wonderfully appointed outside space.
There are six levels of the Redcar Beacon which are all accessible by lift or stairs. Each floor will be alive with creativity through a series of unique studios/workspaces for those involved in the creative industries sector. These will provide studio workspaces where visitors can see artwork, jewellery etc being manufactured and displayed. The building has been designed to create a dynamic experience on the journey to the top of the building with views of local landmarks framed by the outer foils wrapped around the tower. These framed views will encourage and create a sense of anticipation on the journey through. The seaside attraction is FREE to the public, so why not pay a visit.
We have much more online Have you visited our website yet? We have much more online on our website from Local News, Local Events and Local Stories from Local charity and sports club. Keep up to date with local news and sporting action or find something to do this weekend. www.theeyemagazine.co.uk Also like us on facebook at www.facebook.com/theeyemagazine PAGE 16 | THE EYE MAGAZINE - ISSUE 46
THE EYE MAGAZINE
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THE EYE MAGAZINE - APRIL 2013 | PAGE 17
THE EYE MAGAZINE
DIY & Home Improvements
How Do You Make A New Kitchen A Real Investment?
A
ccording to a recent home insurance report, the kitchen has become the most expensive room in the home, with a new purchase averaging £4,000. This represents an increase of some 45 per cent since 2005 and the question has to be asked whether that kind of outlay for a new kitchen is a good investment or a pure indulgence. The fact is that however much you spend, the overall value of the house can’t possibly be increased by the total price of the kitchen because it is already assumed that the house will contain a reasonably equipped cooking area. Providing a kitchen of high quality, however, will certainly help you to sell your house more easily should the necessity arise. So to help you get the most effective benefits from your outlay here are a few rules that will show you how to balance the amount you spend with the subsequent value of the house. 1. Cabinets are the workhorse of your kitchen, so don’t scrimp on quality and buy features that most prospective buyers would appreciate. Aim for soft closing hinges, rigidly manufactured units and robust steel drawer runners - especially for larger drawers. Avoid anything with lots of moving parts (more to go wrong) and when it comes to storage don't forget your cutlery, recipe books, tea towels, refuse and recycling. PAGE 18 | THE EYE MAGAZINE - ISSUE 46
2. Think practically as well as aesthetically when it comes to the finish. For example, highly polished dark colours show fingerprints easily but neutral colours are much more practical. A light and airy look is always desirable so be aware that bolder, darker colours rarely work in small kitchens. 3. Ensure that worktops are as maintenance-free as possible. Wood near sinks, for instance, will constantly need re-oiling, while glass worktops quickly look tired and scratched. Quality laminates are the answer with some great look-alike exotic woods and metals at a fraction of the cost of the real thing. For sinks, stainless steel is still an industry favourite but there are also some great matt black and high-gloss ceramics available. 4. When it comes to appliances, daring colours are now more fashionable than ever with sleek surfaces and streamline designs. If that’s what you choose don't hide them away – make them the focal point of your kitchen. Additional items like wine coolers and built-in coffee machines are another great touch, but make sure you have the room for them before you decide to go to that kind of expense. Whatever size fridge you want, opt for a frost-free model that's A+ energy rated. The attitude of modern housewives also suggests that a dishwasher is an important asset so look out for super-efficient models with
THE EYE MAGAZINE no-noise levels and - if you have a big family extra-large capacity. Built-in appliances create the illusion of more space in a small kitchen but if you have abundant space a freestanding appliance can make a real impact. 5. Most customers initially want a gas hob because it provides instant and easily regulated heat, but induction hobs have changed this and the moment people discover this new technology they change their mind. Like gas, induction is extremely easy and quick to control and the ability to precisely use the power makes induction perfect for all types of cooking. Heat is only generated in the base of the pan itself so the cooking surface remains cool in operation making it a very safe appliance to use. As soon as the pan is removed, the flow of heat stops immediately. 6. In terms of ‘layout,’ your first priority should be "the working triangle.” This kitchen jargon exists for a reason because if you position your fridge, cooker and sink in a close enough layout it represents a perfect working environment and you can reach them all with the minimum of inconvenience. 7. Finally, if you use a kitchen designer make sure he’s not just a salesman with a computer program. You are far more likely to find highly trained and imaginative designers at independent dealers than in one of the national DIY outlets. Even so, make sure they earn their fee and let you see different concepts in 3D. Get them to recreate your floor plan so you can walk around it and 'feel' the space."
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THE EYE MAGAZINE - APRIL 2013 | PAGE 19
THE EYE MAGAZINE
Humour
W
hile modern comedy has a far more sophisticated style than the older stuff many of us grew up with there are still some of the more traditional comedians whose work will always be funny. Tommy Cooper has to be top of that list and having previously featured some of his superb one-liners we were delighted to come across more and we’d like to share them with you. If these don’t make you laugh you deserve everything the ‘alternative’ comedians throw at you. (In most cases we think alternative comedy is actually the alternative to being funny!). The secret of enjoying these to the full, though, is to imagine them being told in Tommy Cooper’s own inimitable style! I went to the Doctors the other day, and he said, 'Go to Bournemouth, it's great for flu'. So I went - and I got it. I went to the corner shop today and bought 4 corners. So I met this gangster who pulls up the back of people's pants, it was Wedgie Kray. I tried water polo once, but my horse drowned. A three-legged dog walks into a saloon in the Old West. He slides up to the bar and announces: 'I'm looking for the man who shot my paw.' I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags, he's bi-satchel. PAGE 20 | THE EYE MAGAZINE - ISSUE 46
Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly. But when they lit a fire in the craft, it sank, proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it. 'I said to this train driver "I want to go to Paris". He said "Eurostar?" I said, "I've been on telly but I'm no Bruce Forsyth". A lorry-load of tortoises crashed into a trainload of terrapins. It was a turtle disaster. 'I swear, the other day I bought a packet of peanuts, and on the packet it said "may contain nuts." Well, YES! That's what I bought it for! I'd have been annoyed if I opened it and a socket set fell out!" I backed a horse last week at ten to one. It came in at quarter past four.
HEALTH & FITNESS 'I went down the local supermarket, I said, "I want to make a complaint, this vinegar's got lumps in it", he said, "Those are pickled onions.” There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest. He sent in ten different puns, in the hope that at least one of the puns would win. Unfortunately, no pun in ten did. I was having dinner with Garry Kasparov and there was a check tablecloth. It took him two hours to pass me the salt. 'So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds". I said, "Waiter, I asked for aromatic duck".'
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I was delighted when I entered a competition and won a year’s supply of Marmite. It turned out to be one jar. 'A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off. "Because," he said "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer." I went to the paper shop this morning. It had blown away. I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day. Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair.
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THE EYE MAGAZINE - APRIL 2013 | PAGE 21
THE EYE MAGAZINE
In The Garden
April Gardening Tips GARDEN MAINTENANCE
Beware late frosts and keep vulnerable plants and new shoots protected at night if frost is forecast. Don’t be tempted to put out tender bedding until much later on in the month and even then be prepared to cover it if necessary. Deadhead daffodils and narcissi, give them a liquid feed or sprinkling of bonemeal and then let them die down. Don’t cut off the leaves as they are necessary to replenish the bulb for next year. Keep deadheading spring bedding to keep it looking neat and encourage new flowers. Continue with the spring cleaning. Hoe your borders, getting rid of weeds before they take hold - annual weeds such as bitter cress and groundsel are enough of a nightmare without allowing them to go forth and multiply by seeding. If it’s dry, attack ground elder and the like with systemic weed killer painted onto the leaves. Mulch away while you can still see what you are doing and before the herbaceous growth really takes off. Use your own garden compost or leaf mould, well rotted manure, the contents of out-of-date grow bags or readymade soil conditioner. PAGE 22 | THE EYE MAGAZINE - ISSUE 46
Now the soil is warming up and things are starting to grow, add general purpose fertiliser before covering with mulch especially in borders, the fruit and vegetable patch and containers. If you have already mulched, draw it back (if possible), tease the soil a little, add fertiliser and replace the mulch. Carry on removing moss and weeds from paths, terraces and drives.
Make new beds and borders - mark the shape with sand trickled from a bottle, remove the top layer of growing vegetation and dig the ground over, incorporating as much organic matter as possible. If you are making a bed in the lawn, remove the turf – if you dig it in the buried grass will regrow and regrow and regrow.
GARDENING Clean and repair your garden tools, book the lawn mower in for a service and check garden furniture for any rot. When it is warm enough, treat sheds, fences and trellis with wood preservative; brushes and rollers are fine for most things, however a sprayer is well worth buying for tricky projects such as woven panels! Now is the time to wage war on slugs and snails. They love tulips and delicacies such as the delicious young shoots of delphiniums and the like, so use pet-friendly slug pellets, drench the ground around hostas with liquid slug killer to exterminate slugs below the surface. Keep an eye out for snails and pick them off - what you do with them is up to you. Birds are your friends here - flat stones artfully located are useful accessories for birds to practise their snail bashing techniques.
BULBS, FLOWERS AND CONTAINERS
Protect new spring shoots from frosts and slugs... Split clumps of snowdrops by digging them up, gently pulling them apart into bunches of 3 or more bulbs and replanting in dug over soil with some bonemeal incorporated into it. Make sure you work quickly so the bulbs don’t have a chance to dry out and water in if the soil is at all dry. Sprinkle general purpose fertiliser on beds and borders and erect supports for herbaceous plants such as peonies, delphiniums and oriental poppies that would otherwise flop. Make your own using hazel or birch twigs for a natural look that will fade into the border as your plants grow. Carry on lifting and dividing overgrown clumps of perennials and split polyanthus plants once they have finished flowering. Plant hardier summer bulbs and unsprouted dahlia tubers (at least 4 inches deep in good, rich soil).
Sow hardy annuals such as nasturtium and calendula in drifts - clashing colours just don’t matter in a garden, but remember to plant taller plants behind shorter ones. Wait a while to plant cornflowers and larkspurs until the soil is warmer. Sow sweet peas outdoors (soak the seeds overnight to improve germination) and plant out those raised under cover.
LAWNS
Most lawns are looking a far cry from the emerald swards of last year. Unless the weather stays filthy and cold in which case it is better to wait for balmier days, feed with a spring lawn feed to encourage new growth (these have a high nitrogen content to encourage leaf growth), mow regularly (start with the blades high for the first couple of cuts), overseed bare patches and apply weed and moss killer. Rake out or scarify AFTER applying moss killer or you will merely be spreading moss to the rest of your lawn! Now is the ideal time to sow new lawns on well prepared ground – if you are unsure, please ask for help and advice in the garden centre.
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THE EYE MAGAZINE - APRIL 2013 | PAGE 23
THE EYE MAGAZINE
Recipe Creamy Fettuccine With Mushrooms, Bacon And Asparagus
A
s April arrives we should now be experiencing the rather tenuous first shoots of spring but nobody so far seems to have informed the weather of that fact. Any hope of fresh produce from the gardens has all but disappeared in the dreadful wintery conditions we have suffered over the last three months and where we could normally look forward to the season of fresh salads and cool, light refreshing meals most of us are still appreciating the wholesome, hot winter food that keeps us insulated against the snow and ice. We have therefore put together a great little recipe that gives you the best of both worlds. This delicious pasta meal can be served both hot and cold so if things suddenly pick up you have an option! The asparagus is optional depending on whether price is a deciding factor! Ingredients: 1 pound of fettuccine : 3 tablespoons of olive oil : 1 medium onion, finely chopped : Salt and pepper : 1 clove garlic, finely chopped : 3/4 cup whole milk : 4 ounces of low fat cream cheese, cut into pieces : 1/4 cup of grated Parmesan (1 oz) : a pinch of freshly grated or ground nutmeg : 6 slices of bacon : 1 pound of mushrooms, sliced : 6 spears of asparagus :1 tablespoon roughly chopped fresh tarragon Directions: 1. Cook the pasta according to package directions. Reserve 1/4 cup of the cooking liquid, drain the pasta and return it to the pot. The asparagus can be steamed in a colander over the top as the pasta cooks. (4 to 5 minutes depending on size). 2. Meanwhile, heat 1 Tbsp oil in a large pan over medium-low heat. Add the onion and 1/4 tsp each salt and pepper and cook, covered, stirring occasionally, until very tender, 6 to 8 minutes. Stir in the garlic and cook for 1 minute. 3. Whisk in the milk and bring to a simmer. Whisk in the cream cheese, Parmesan and nutmeg and simmer, stirring occasionally, until slightly thickened, 2 to 3 minutes. 4. Cook the bacon in a second large pan over medium heat until crisp, 5 to 6 minutes. Transfer to a paper towel–lined plate; break into pieces when cool. 5. Wipe out the pan and heat the remaining 2 tbsp oil over medium-high heat. Add the mushrooms and cook, tossing occasionally, until golden brown and tender, 5 to 6 minutes. 6. Toss the pasta with the cream sauce, adding some of the reserved cooking liquid if the pasta seems dry. Fold in the mushrooms, bacon and tarragon and serve. PAGE 24 | THE EYE MAGAZINE - ISSUE 46
THE EYE MAGAZINE
Test Your Brain Power
W
e’ve all watched television throughout our lives and some of the most poignant and memorable moments have come from things we’ve watched on ‘the box.’ See how much you can remember with these ten TV brain teasers from quite some time ago! 1.A famous policeman of the 1950s was played by Brian Reece. His number is often used in Bingo caller’s jargon. Who was he?
5.What was the signature tune of Morecambe and Wise? 6.By what name would you more easily recognise Clarissa Dixon and Jennifer Paterson? 7.Judi Dench and Geoffrey Palmer played reunited lovers in which long running sitcom? 8.How many people usually sit at the table for the ‘Question Time’ debate?
2.What was the famous football surname that was announced as Rodney Trotter’s middle name when he married Cassandra in ‘Only Fools and Horses?’
9.Carol Drinkwater and Linda Bellingham both played the wife of the lead character played by Christopher Timothy. What was the series?
3.Which actor plays Deputy Mayor Mike in the American series ‘Spin City.’
10.Phil Drabble and Robin Page were presenters of which programme that involved sheep?
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4.Which TV police drama starred Warren Clarke and Colin Buchanan.
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THE EYE MAGAZINE - APRIL 2013 | PAGE 25
On The Box
Doctor Who Is Back To Celebrate Fifty Years Of The Time Lord.
F
or reasons I have never quite been able to understand a new series of ‘Doctor Who’ is always an eagerly anticipated television event and the new set of eight episodes that begins on March 30th is no exception. The official BBC announcement warns us to prepare ourselves for thrills, adventures and dramatic surprises as the show builds towards its enormous, climactic 50th anniversary year. These eight big, blockbuster-movie episodes – each a brand new epic adventure featuring new monsters and some familiar foes as you’ve never seen them before – are the final part of series seven – spread over two years with the first six, including the Christmas Special – shown in 2012. Even the Royal Mail has jumped onto the Doctor Who bandwagon with a set of stamps to commemorate the Time Lord’s fifty years
on our screens and featuring each of the eleven actors who have so far starred in the role. It would have been hard to believe when that strange old man first stepped out of a police box in a scrap yard down in Trotter’s Lane in 1963 that the show would become so iconic, especially when one of its most easily recognised villains – the Daleks – have to be the least frightening monster ever invented. Or are they? I well remember my own failed attempts to turn it off because my two sons would only watch it from behind the settee. Despite that they wouldn’t hear of it being switched off and Saturday teatime TV was always their ‘Doctor Who’ time. That was during the Tom Baker era (1974 to 1981) but fortunately they eventually grew out of it. It’s amazing how many other people never did! If you’re one of them we really hope you enjoy it!
Coffee Break Humour Paddy was driving down the street in a sweat because he had an important meeting and couldn’t find a parking place. Looking up to heaven he said ‘Lord have pity on me. If you find me a parking place I will go to Mass every Sunday for the rest of me life and give up me Irish Whiskey!’ Miraculously a parking place appeared. Paddy looked up again and said ‘Never mind, I found one. PAGE 26 | THE EYE MAGAZINE - ISSUE 46
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THE EYE MAGAZINE - APRIL 2013 | PAGE 27
THE EYE MAGAZINE
Technology
O
ver the last couple of years the rise of SmartPhones and Tablets has seen the development of many mobile apps which are downloadable from your devices app store. There are millions of apps out there, some free some paid for, all designed to do a task. Many people have games on there phones and tablets, but how many of you have an app that could save you a substantial amount of money? WhatsApp Messenger is a smartphone messenger app available for Android powered and other smartphones and could save you a large amount of money each month on your phone bill. WhatsApp uses your 3G or WiFi (when available) to send and receive messages to and from your friends and family. You can use WhatsApp instead of sending SMS text messages, pictures message, audio notes, and video messages saving you money on your phone bill and not using you monthly allowance. Best of all the first year of using WhatsApp is FREE and only $0.99 USD the year after. WHY TO DOWNLOAD AND USE WHATSAPP: • NO HIDDEN COST: Once you and your friends download the application, you can use it to chat as much as you want. Send a million messages a day to your friends for free! WhatsApp uses your Internet connection: 3G/ EDGE or Wi-Fi when available. • MULTIMEDIA: Send Video, Images, and Voice notes to your friends and contacts. • GROUP CHAT: Enjoy group conversations with your contacts. • NO INTERNATIONAL CHARGES: Just like there is no added cost to send an international email, there is no cost to send WhatsApp messages internationally. Chat with your friends all over the world as long as they have WhatsApp Messenger installed
PAGE 28 | THE EYE MAGAZINE - ISSUE 46
and avoid those pesky international SMS costs. • SAY NO TO PINS AND USERNAMES: Why even bother having to remember yet another PIN or username? WhatsApp works with your phone number, just like SMS would, and integrates flawlessly with your existing phone address book. • NO NEED TO LOG IN/OUT: No more confusion about getting logged off from another computer or device. With push notifications WhatsApp is ALWAYS ON and ALWAYS CONNECTED. • NO NEED TO ADD BUDDIES: Your Address Book is used to automatically connect you with your contacts. Your contacts who already have WhatsApp Messenger will be automatically displayed. • OFFLINE MESSAGES: Even if you miss your push notifications or turn off your phone, WhatsApp will save your messages offline until you retrieve them during the next application use. • AND MUCH MORE: Share location, Exchange contacts, Custom wallpaper, Custom notification sounds, Landscape mode, Precise message time stamps, Email chat history, Broadcast messages and MMS to many contacts at once and much much more! This App for your smart phone could save you a substantial amount on your phone bill and monthly contract.
THE EYE MAGAZINE
Easter Activities @ Tunedin Come along to Tuned In! and have fun in a range of activities this Easter. Great for young people aged 11 to 16 years in a cool new environment! Read the details below and sign up for the ones you would like to do. Places are limited so it’s a first come, first served thing! Tuesday 2nd April 12pm -3pm Mountain Biking –wear clothes suitable for mountain biking. All equipment is provided including bikes, helmets etc. Only £8 with professional instructors! 50% discount for Members! Wednesday 3rd April 10am – 2pm Filmmaking in our new Mac suite! Come and learn how to make a film under professional tuition! A great fun activity! Only £10 per workshop 50% discount for Members! Thursday 4th April 1pm -3pm Stagehand Come and learn how to use mixers, mics, lights and other fab new equipment in our new studios! Only £5 per person! 50% discount for Members of Tuned In! Friday 5th April 1pm -4pm Playleader training course Come and learn how to be a playleader with proper training. Suitable for those in year 10 / 11 although those in year 9 are welcome to attend. £10 per person. 50%discount for members of Tuned In!
Monday 8th April – either 9am-11am, 11am-1pm or 1pm-3pm Hairdressing with SAKS hairdressers. Come and learn some new techniques for hairdressing with our award winning stylist! Only £10 per workshop! Tuesday 9th April & Wednesday 10th April 10am-2.30pm each day Fashion & Textiles working with a whole host of different ideas to produce a fashion show using our bright new Art Suite! Only £10 for the two days! Thursday 11th April – 1pm – 3pm Street Dance workshops in our new performance suite only £3 per person! Friday 12th April – 1pm-3pm Creating Radio Jingles for Tuned In! FM Come and use our Mac Suite to create jingles for our new radio station! Only £5 per person!
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It’s free to join just collect a form from our building or download from our website and bring it along on the day.
www.redcar-cleveland.gov.uk/tunedin
Majuba Road Redcar TS10 5BJ
THE EYE MAGAZINE - APRIL 2013 | PAGE 29
Sport The Contradictions Of Being A ‘Boro Fan
O
ne of the best jobs in the world is being able to publicly write about the team you have supported since childhood – especially when they are playing great football, winning games – albeit by marginal decisions – and look as if they are heading for bigger and better things. Conversely, the worst thing is being contracted to write about the same team when things have gone dramatically wrong. The last eight weeks have been among the worst I have suffered as a Middlesbrough fan. Even though I accept that injuries have played a big part in the huge number of team changes that have been made I also think that the concept of picking particular teams to play against the opposition’s strengths is an admission of conceived inferiority and for that reason I don’t believe our best team has been consistently picked. Forgive me if I’m wrong, but people like Bill Shankly and Bob Paisley made Liverpool great by selecting their best team at the start of the season and sticking with it –barring injuries and suspension – until the end. This season ‘Boro have had no fewer than 21 goal scorers in their competitive games and while that is a tremendous record it also means we have fielded well over thirty different players. That suggests that Tony Mowbray’s constant tinkering of the team to counteract the opposition means he has not been confident enough in the ability of his own players to disregard the opposition’s strengths and play their own game in the belief they are good enough to beat anybody on their day. I saw my first game at Ayresome Park at the PAGE 30 | THE EYE MAGAZINE - ISSUE 46
age of nine. That day we drew 1-1 Against Plymouth Argyle and Boro’s keeper Bob Appleby saved a penalty to give us a point. Many wonderful memories have been collected since. Relegation in the World Cup winning year of 1966 saw us demoted even though Dickie Rooks – ex Sunderland and a centre half – scored a hat trick at Cardiff and ended up on the losing side. The following season was among the best ever with John Hickton signing as a full back from Sheffield Wednesday and scoring his first of many ‘Boro goals on his debut in a 3-2 victory over Workington. We were languishing in the bottom half of the table at the time and struggling. Hickton began the game at fullback, Boro were awarded a penalty and Hickton raced the length of the field to grab the ball. His trademark thirty yard run-up to smash the ball into the back of the net introduced him to ‘Boro fans and he deservedly became not only a ‘Boro legend but many people’s favourite ever ‘Boro player. How we could do with his goal scoring ability and totally positive attitude now! I mention that 66/67 season because these are the kind of memories that let my optimism and dedication allow me to hope that we can put a run of six or seven wins together to reach the playoffs. Unfortunately, the wretched realism that is also part of my makeup makes me wonder where the hell the next win is coming from. In such contradictions lie the joy and despair of being a ‘Boro fan. I pray that by this time next month I can once again enjoy writing this particular article.
THE EYE MAGAZINE
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www.rubberduckbathrooms.co.uk THE EYE MAGAZINE - APRIL 2013 | PAGE 31
14 LIMERICK ROAD, DORMANSTOWN, REDCAR, TEESSIDE. TS10 5JU TEL: 01642 776050 FAX: 01642 776059 The EYE is published by Eye Media NE Ltd (01642 759064) and printed by Acorn Web Offset (01924 220633)