THE FIGHT CALIFORNIA'S LGBTQ MONTHLY MAGAZINE FEBRUARY 2020

FEB R UAR Y 2020 | T H E F I GH T 1

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CONGRATULATING THE FIGHT ON ITS 9TH ANNIVERSARY!

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THECONTENTS O N T HE C OVER & ON T HI S PAGE RYAN MCGANN (L) KEVIN NIEHAUS, WITH THEIR NEWBORN BABY GIRL COVER PHOTO, CONTENTS PHOTO & FEATURE PHOTO

BY DUSTI CUNNINGHAM

FEATU R ES

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BEARS, BEARS, BEARS! IBC THIS MONTH IN PALM SPRINGS THE POWER OF HOPE EQUALITY CALIFORNIA ENDORSES MAYOR PETE FOR PRESIDENT MAYBE BABY JOHN M. NORIAN, MD FACOG, HRC FERTILITY LGBTQ FAMILY OPTIONS YOUR GUIDE TO PARENTHOOD BECOMING PARENTS KEVIN NIEHAUS AND RYAN MCGANN THE GOOD EGG BEVERLY HILLS EGG DONATION’S ROBYN PERCHIK CAMP WIDOW CONFERENCE FOR LGBT WIDOWS AND WIDOWERS ESTATE PLANNING LIFE LADDER LAW’S KATHRYN TAPS, ESQ THE GIFT OF PARENTHOOD SOUTHERN CALIFORNIA REPRODUCTIVE CENTER (SCRC)

DEPART M ENTS

08 THE TALK 10 THE STATE 12 THE CITY 16 THE ROSTOW REPORT 26 THE SHARE 40 THE ART 42 THE EVENT 44 THE CALENDAR 46 THE FINAL FIGHT

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THEEDITOR

EDITOR-IN-CHIEF Stanford Altamirano MANAGING EDITOR Mark Ariel ART DIRECTOR Nadeen Torio MARKETING CONSULTANTS Virtic Brown Sean Galuszka Antonio Garnica Shane Ivan Nash SOCIAL MEDIA Mark Ariel Sinan Shihabi WEBMASTER Nadeen Torio >> IN THIS ISSUE <<

This issue of THE FIGHT focuses on parenthood.

Kevin Niehaus and Ryan McGann knew from the beginning of their relationship (they’ve been together for six years) that they wanted to be parents (“Becoming Parents,” pages 24-25).

“Children were always a hope for both of us,” says McGann. “We both come from large families, and while we enjoy the life we share together, we knew we both wanted kids early in the relationship. It came up while dating as something both of us wanted, but the real discussions came after we were married and as we like to say, waiting for our next adventure.”

In an interview with THE FIGHT the couple talks about how they began the process, the services they utilized and the joys of parenthood.

Also family related—Beverly Hills Egg Donation’s Robyn Perchik talks about the recruiting and screening process, determining the intended parent(s) criteria and insider tips (“The Good Egg,” pages 28-29).

“The process is so personal—no two situations are alike,” reveals Perchik. “I have many people who want a donor who looks like they would fit into their family, that

reminds them of a sister or a cousin.

I have intended parents who want a ‘smart’ egg, meaning that they are looking for an academic achiever.

And then I have recipients who want an ‘athletic’ egg, or a ‘musical’ egg, and so on. The only commonality in the matching process is that no two people are making their decisions the same way.”

“My associates and I spend time with the intended parent(s) as early as we can in the process to determine what their criteria are, and to help them rank their criteria in terms of importance,” explains Perchik.

“We also try to manage expectations about which will be the easiest and hardest criteria to accomplish in the match process.”

Last but not least—with this issue THE FIGHT celebrates its 9th year anniversary. We humbly thank our advertisers, sponsors, readers, contributors and distributors for helping us reach this milestone.

Please join us this month, Thursday, February 13, from 9pm to 11pm, at The Abbey in West Hollywood for our 9th Year Anniversary Party. We thank you for your support!

ARTS EDITOR Sinan Shihabi CONTRIBUTORS Dusti Cunningham Sean Galuszka Dr. Dan Kaser, RMA Orly Lyonne Victor Melamed Paulo Murillo Ann Rostow Sinan Shihabi Kathryn Taps, Esq. GET THE FIGHT AT HOME Sent Via First Class Mail 12 Issues: $36 6 Issues: $24 Mail check or money order to: Third Step, LLC 611 S. Catalina St. Suite 307 Los Angeles, CA 90005 PUBLISHER Third Step, LLC DISTRIBUTION Pride In Media The Fight Magazine is published monthly by Third Step, LLC. 611 South Catalina Street, Suite 307 Los Angeles, CA 90005 Telephone (323) 297-4001 Fax (213) 281-9648 Email info@TheFightMag.com THE FIGHT MAGAZINE LEGAL CAVEATS By listing in The Fight Magazine, advertisers acknowledge that they do business in the spirit of cooperation, fairness and service, maintaining a high level of integrity and responsibility. Providers of products or services are fully and solely responsible for providing same as advertised. The Fight Magazine assumes no liability for improper or negligent business practices by advertisers.

Advertisers and their agencies assume responsibility and liability for the content of their advertisements in The Fight Magazine.

Publisher assumes no liability for safe-keeping or return of unsolicited art, manuscripts or other materials. The Fight Magazine reserves the right to edit all material for clarity, length and content. All contents © 2019 Third Step LLC. All rights reserved. Content may be reproduced with permission.

STANFORD ALTAMIRANO Editor-In-Chief

The Fight Magazine assumes no liability for any claims or representations contained anywhere in this magazine and reserves the right to cancel or refuse advertising at publisher’s discretion.

TheFightMag.com For Display Advertising, please call (323) 297-4001

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k c a l B l a n o i t a N S D I A / V I H s s e n e r a w A Day FEBRUARY 7, 2020

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BE FREE

LESS SCARY

“I am not thankful for the person who did this … but I am thankful that now I get to be free… I hope this will inspire a lot of trans people out there.”

NIKKIE DE JAGER

—YouTube beauty guru Nikkie De Jager ( NikkieTutorials) on her recent coming out as transgender and the blackmail attempt that led her to do it, on Ellen, last month.

DOOR SHUT “It was like 10 years too early and it completely ended my career. That was the last studio picture I ever did.

The door shut with a resounding smash.”

“The only thing that made it less scary was seeing Ellen on TV.”

KATE McKINNON

—SNL’s Kate McKinnon presenting Ellen DeGeneres with the Carol Burnett Award at the 77th annual Golden Globe Awards last month, revealing what it was like realizing she was gay at a young age – and how it is a “very scary thing to know about yourself.”

HARRY HAMLIN

—Harry Hamlin on his decision to play the role of a gay man in the 1982 movie Making Love, to the It Happened In Hollywood podcast.

“MITCH BENNETT” (L) WITH FRIEND, LARS SULLIVAN (R)

LARGE BULGE

MOST OF CALIFORNIA

“They thought that Robin had a very large bulge for television... I just used my cape to cover it.”

BURT WARD

—Burt Ward, Robin from the 60s Batman TV series, on how producers dealt with his allegedly large manhood, to Page Six, last month.

WHOLE TIME “Yep, I’m gay. Been gay this whole time. Tired of worrying about what people would think of me. Tired of worrying about what it would do to my career.”

—Actor DJ Qualls (Road Trip, Supernaturaland. The Man in the High Castle) coming out on Twitter last month.

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DJ QUALLS

“Philip Rivers Crybaby b*tch and is extremely gay. Most of California, especially southern cal, is gay. Fits well. Hell ‘Philip’ is a gay name in itself!”

—WWE wrestler Lars Sullivan’s homophobic comments about NFL quarterback Philip Rivers that he had once made on a forum at bodybuilding.com. Internet sleuths on Reddit discovered last month that he had once done gay adult films under the name Mitch Bennett.

ANYTHING BUT

“I apologize to the LGBTQ kommunity for ever komin across like i was anything but respectful and accepting.

Live. Love. Ya Life.

Gang!”

—Rapper YG on Twitter last month apologizing to the LGBTQ community, saying that he has evolved through his past “ignorant” views.

YG

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Francisco AIDS Foundation, APLA Health, and Essential Access Health—will require the HHS and OA to build a Stakeholder Advisory Committee to help facilitate their efforts. Both agencies will need to submit a report to Governor Gavin Newsom and the state legislature by October 1.

TRANSITIONAL HOUSING PROGRAM FOR TRANS, NONCONFORMING THE FIGHT TO POSTHUMOUSLY PARDON GAY CIVIL RIGHTS LEADER BAYARD RUSTIN California lawmakers called on Gov. Gavin Newsom last month to posthumously pardon Bayard Rustin, a confidant of Martin Luther King Jr. who helped organize the March on Washington, for his conviction in the 1950s under a state law frequently used to target gay men, reports The Hill.

Rustin was arrested in 1953 on charges of “lewd vagrancy” after a police officer caught him having sex with a man in a parked car. He was sentenced to 60 days in jail and forced to register as a sex offender.

“There’s a cloud hanging over him because of this unfair, discriminatory conviction, a conviction that never should have happened, a conviction that happened only because he was a gay man,” Sen. Scott Wiener (D), chairman of the state’s Legislative LGBTQ Caucus, told The Washington Post.

Newsom vowed to consider the matter in a statement, according to the Post.

SF PRIDE DEBATES BAN ON GOOGLE, YOUTUBE Carolyn Wysinger, the president of San Francisco Pride, responded last month to reports that Google and the Alameda County Sheriff’s Office had been voted out of participating in the annual event.

“Our legal team has reviewed the vote that was cast by a small group of Pride’s 326 members and determined this measure is not binding,” Wysinger told Event Industry News.

“This small group is not representative of the larger Pride community, and our lawyers determined it is not reasonable for them to make motions at a meeting which doesn’t have enough people to equal a quorum and expect that vote to be a bind10 0 TTH HEE FFIGH IGHTT || www.thefi www.thefightmag.com 1 ghtmag.com

ing measure for the board of directors.”

The board is due to meet again this month to discuss how to proceed, reports Event Industry News.

NEW LEGISLATION TO END HIV, STIS CA state senator Scott Wiener introduced new legislation last month requiring the state’s health agency to develop and implement a statewide plan on fighting HIV, Hep C, and other STIs, reports the Advocate.

The legislation, SB 859, will require the Secretary of California Health and Human Services and the Chief of the Office of AIDS to work with agencies across the state to set attainable targets for ending STIs. The bill—which is sponsored by San

The first transitional housing program for transgender and gender nonconforming adults in the nation opened last month in San Francisco’s Nob Hill neighborhood, reported SF Gate.

During a ribbon-cutting ceremony at Trans Home SF on Washington Street, located at 1033 Washington St., Mayor London Breed said the new program will help connect its residents with services and permanent housing options.

“Housing affordability and homelessness continue to impact our most marginalized communities, including our trans community members, who are 18 times more likely to experience homelessness,” she said in a statement.

Under the program, residents will be allowed to stay for up to one year, or longer if needed, while working with housing navigators to find permanent housing.

CASTRO’S LEGENDARY 47-YEAR-OLD CAFE FLORE CLOSES After 47 years in the Castro, historic neighborhood restaurant Flore (formerly known as Cafe Flore) has closed at 2298 Market St. reports Hoodline.

Flore’s general manager, Luke Bruner, confirmed the restaurant had closed, but declined to provide any details. It appears to have shuttered quietly at some point during the holiday season.

While Flore is no longer serving food and drink on a daily basis, a sign on the exterior says it will still be hosting private events in the “greenhouse event space,” which will be “open for special events all winter long.” ■

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FEB R UAR Y 2020 | THE F I GH T 11

THECITY >> BY PAULO MURILLO <<

is expanding to Southern California. The club, which has been wowing crowds for 22 years, has chosen the desert as its first location outside of the Bay Area.

Desert Sun reports that AsiaSF will be taking over the former Hacienda Carina and Beach Club, located at 1555 S. Palm Canyon Drive. It will offer patrons drinks, prix fixe dinners and up to four cabaret shows a night. AsiaSF performers, who are all transgender women, will bring their own personalities to lip-sync renditions of party playlist classics. The new venue will get a full renovation before opening in early February.

S A N D IEGO

HILLCREST AREA GETS RAINBOW CROSSWALKS DR. STEVE GANZELL

LOS AN G E LE S

MEMORIALS HELD FOR DR. STEVE GANZELL THROUGHOUT THE CITY A “Celebration of Life” for Steve Ganzell took place last month at Eagle LA and at Plummer Park in West Hollywood.

Steve Ganzell, a beloved community leader, former President of Christopher Street West (the organization that produces LA Pride) and a long-time contributor to THE FIGHT, passed away this past December of a heart attack.

Ganzell, a clinical psychologist, served as the clinical director of the mental health program for Being Alive, the West Hollywood based HIV service organization. He also worked for the U.S. Department of Veterans Affairs.

The Sisters Of Perpetual Indulgence performed a special blessing at both of the memorials, attended by hundreds of Steve’s colleagues friends, activists and local politicians, as well as his children: Crystan, Adam, Chalisse and Zach.

WEST HO LLY W O O D

SOBER COMMUNITY FIGHTS TO SAVE LIONS CLUB LOG CABIN The sober community and its allies have been actively trying to save the Lions Club Log Cabin from demolition.

In early January, The City of Beverly Hills gave The Lions Club notice to vacate the Log Cabin and demolish the building

by March 31, 2020. The possible loss of the space, which houses various 12-step meetings for thousands of recovering alcoholics and addicts, resulted in outrage.

The Lions Club Log Cabin sits within the jurisdiction of West Hollywood, but it 1 2 T H E F IGH T | www.thefightmag.com

belongs to the City of Beverly Hills. The building itself is leased by the Lions Club.

The City of West Hollywood has offered to have the West Hollywood Recovery Center (WHRC) take over the lease and run the day to day operations.

Late last month reps from the Lion Club and Beverly Hills city council met to negotiate. A decision is pending.

PA L M S PR INGS

TRANSGENDER PERFORMANCE SPACE AsiaSF The legendary transgender club AsiaSF

The gay Hillcrest area in San Diego has gotten its very own rainbow crosswalk installation. A large crowd celebrated the launch of the LGBT symbol last month. The new crosswalks are located at the corner of Nomal Street and University Avenue. The launch event Catwalk on the Crosswalk, showcased members of the community strutting their stuff over the rainbow. The Hillcrest crosswalks are unique in that it includes the traditional colors of the pride flag and also adds the colors brown and black to symbolize people of color. It also includes colors from the trans flag.

LONG B EA C H

RE-BRANDED LONG BEACH PRIDE DROPS THE “LESBIAN & GAY” Long Beach Lesbian and Gay Pride has dropped the ‘Lesbian and Gay’ in its namesake to rebrand itself simply as Long Beach Pride. The nonprofit event debuted a new name, logo, mission statement and website last month to mark the start of a new decade. It is also offering early bird tickets for this year’s pride festival for the first time. The 37th Annual Long Beach Pride Festival & Parade is a three-day event, starting with a free Teen Pride celebration on May 15, a two-day waterfront festival on May 16 and 17, and the annual parade happening on May 17. n

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FEB R UAR Y 2020 | THE F I GH T 13

ULTRA NATÉ. PHOTO BY MARCO CERRONE

>> ULTRA NATÉ <<

The International Bear Convergence (IBC) takes place in Palm Springs this month, with special guest performer Ultra Naté

I

BY VICTOR MELAMED

nternational Bear Convergence (IBC) is the place to be for Bears & admirers in Palm Springs, February 20-24, 2020. This desert oasis opens its arms and welcomes you and thousands of frisky, furry bears, their friends & their fans to the hip hotel Zoso Palm Springs.

The four-day event will come to life with DJs, live entertainment and bears, bears, bears from around the globe. The event first hit Palm Springs in 2014 and for the past 3

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years under new ownership and management it has became the premier winter event for Bears and their admirers. The last three years were hugely successful and they expect more of the same in 2020 with record-breaking attendance for their 7th Anniversary.

During the day kick back like a rock star and enjoy themed pool parties with music provided by world renown DJ’s at the fabulous hotel ZOSO pool. With multiple bars, cabanas, outdoor lounge areas and our new sun deck area overlooking the action at the pool; you’re destined to have a fantastic day. After the sun goes down, evenings will heat up with three highenergy dance parties.

IBC’s pool parties & dance events have highlighted several top DJs from California and around the globe including: Byron Bonsall, Doug Jackson , DJ Maryalice , DJ Chub Jim, DJ & Producer Tony Moran, traRoke Cabrera and Mateo Segade to name a few. Look for 2020 to feature more of the same high energy DJ’s as well.

On Saturday, Feb. 22, the legendary Ultra Naté, known for her gay dance anthems “Free” and “If You Could Read My Mind,” will perform.

Virtually all of her singles have reached the Top 10 of the U.S. Hot Dance Club Play chart. Such singles include “Show Me,” “Free,” “Desire,” “Get it Up (the Feeling),” “Love’s the Only Drug,” and her numberone hits “Automatic,” “Give it All You Got” featuring Chris Willis, “Waiting On You” and “Everybody Loves the Night.”

In an email interview with THE FIGHT Naté revealed that she loves the Bear community.

“They’ve always been in my corner— they know and love music! It makes me happy to perform for them because the energy is always about having a good time! This will be my second time at IBC and I’m really looking forward to it!”

Naté says that her connection to the LGBTQ community is heartfelt.

“I think the community has always appreciated artistic expression, integrity, soul and authenticity. There is more creative license given by the LGBTQ community in a lot of ways and I think a lot of my music has spoken to them in an honest way. It has also always celebrated and supported the community. It’s a give and take love relationship.”

IBC is the first winter event to host bears, muscle bears, cubs, chasers, chubs and admirers in Palm Springs.

For more information visit: www.ibc-ps.com

FEB R UAR Y 2020 | THE F I GH T 15

THEROSTOWREPORT >> BY ANN ROSTOW <<

WILLIAM BUTLER YEATS

TO THE POLLS! One third of the country is expected to vote in the March 3 Super Tuesday primaries, which will involve 14 states along with Democrats Abroad and American Samoa. That, of course, comes after this month’s contests in Iowa, New Hampshire, Nevada and South Carolina. And Super Tuesday will be followed by another dozen primaries before the month of March is over. It seems as if we’ll either have a candidate by the end of March or we’ll really be in trouble.

But you know what? Even if we can’t chose a nominee and our Democratic Party is consumed with infighting, it will be springtime.Yay! Speaking of Democrats running for president, did you see that Mayor Pete’s campaign relocated a fundraiser from a gay bar to a hotel at the last moment because the bar would not take down its dancer pole? The Dark Lady in Providence, Rhode Island, was supposed to host an event with Pete Buttigieg’s husband Chasten, but the advance team nixed the location after learning the pole, which was fixed in its spot, could not be moved. Really guys? I guess Sanders and company deliberately held an event at the Dark Lady a few days later in order to make a point. And that point is… lighten up for God’s sake! You’re gay. You’re raising money at a gay bar. And you’re concerned about the idea of pole dancers who might have danced in the same space in the past or might be dancing there in the future?

Are you worried about putting a dent in your support from the Christian right? And by the way, why are these guys campaigning in Rhode Island? That’s not on the list.

THE CENTER ISN’T HOLDING So, what else has been hap-

“THE WORLD IS FALLING APART, DEAR READERS! UNFORTUNATELY I USED UP MY LIFETIME ALLOCATION OF VERBATIM REFERENCES TO YEATS’ THE SECOND COMING DURING TRUMP’S FIRST YEAR. SERIOUSLY. THIS WORKS ON THE HONOR SYSTEM. YOU SIMPLY CANNOT PARROT LINES FROM A SINGLE POEM MORE THAN A HUNDRED TIMES. IT’S A RULE.” pening? Trump and company proclaimed “religious freedom day” on January 16 and proceeded to institute policies that allow nine federal agencies to award federal grants to church groups and religious organizations. This as the Supreme Court heard oral arguments in a case that could allow religious schools to apply for taxpayer funded vouchers.

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The world is falling apart, dear Readers! Unfortunately I used up my lifetime allocation of verbatim references to Yeats’ The Second Coming during Trump’s first year.

Seriously. This works on the honor system. You simply cannot parrot lines from a single poem more than a hundred times. It’s a rule. I can still paraphrase, however.

Meanwhile, South Dakota and a fistful of other states are trying to outlaw puberty blockers, a significant part of the toolbox employed to treat transgender youth who need to pause their sexual development while they continue to consider their gender identity.

Puberty blockers are commonly used to treat all sorts of kids who are experiencing premature puberty, and as I understand it, they are not permanent. When you stop the medication, puberty will resume. Meanwhile, the problem for transgender teens is that transitioning is a zillion times harder after puberty, particularly for transwomen who are then stuck with Adam’s apples and all the powerful male traits that you guys know and love.

Plus, it’s a horrible experience for transgender kids to deal with the emergence of misgendered sexual features.

And what about all those children who change their minds? Well, these blockers aren’t prescribed willy nilly to questioning youth. It’s serious business conducted by specialist doctors. And as for surgery, that decision is postponed until adulthood. For those young people who do reevaluate their transgender feelings, the puberty blockers can be stopped.

Let’s just agree that whoever makes these decisions, South Dakota lawmakers should not be consulted.

LOVERS STATE PASSES ERA Did you see that the Virginia legislature ratified the Equal Rights Amendment the other day, becoming the 38th state to do so? It’s true that the original deadline for ratification expired back in 1982, and further, a handful of states that ratified the ERA back in the day have since reversed themselves. But I have also read several articles that say

>> TO THE POLLS • THE CENTER ISN’T HOLDING • LOVERS STATE PASSES ERA • DEAF MAN SUING PORNHUB • COURTING BIGOTRY <<

Congress has every right to simply extend or remove the deadline, even though decades have elapsed. Also, it turns out you’re not allowed to rescind a ratification. Two states tried to un-ratify the 14th amendment, according to the Washington Post, and their effort was rejected.

The one-sentence Equal Rights Amendment states simply that: “Equality of rights under the law shall not be denied or abridged by the United States or by any state on account of sex.” Not only would it be nice to embed equal rights on the basis of sex into the Constitution, but on the off chance that the High Court agrees that sexual orientation and/or gender bias is a subset of sex discrimination, the ERA would also protect our community. A Hillary Clinton presidency would have made this latter possibility a reality.

Now it’s a long-shot.

DEAF MAN SUING PORNHUB

Did you hear about the deaf man who is suing Pornhub under the Americans with Disability Act because the service does not caption its videos? Yaroslav Suris seeks damages and a court order to force Pornhub to bring its offerings into compliance with the Act. Oh, and it’s a class action suit on behalf of all deaf porn viewers who have been deprived of the ability to follow the plot lines on shows such as: “Hot Step Aunt Babysits Disobedient Nephew,” “Sexy Cop Gets Witness to Talk” and “Daddy 4K—Allison comes to Talk About Money to Her Boyfriend’s Naughty Father.”

Pornhub told the press that in fact, many of its shows are captioned. So there’s that. As for Mr. Suris, last year he also sued The Weather Channel because he could not access the sound

for an online video on weather. com headlined: “Coldest Arctic Outbreak in at Least Two Decades is Expected This Week in Parts of the Midwest.”

(Please note that Suris lives in Brooklyn.) The case was eventually withdrawn, but I’m not sure whether or not Suris convinced the Weather Channel to cough up some buckaroos in exchange.

Hey, I know it’s not a gay story, but it could be, right? Some of us like to watch Pornhub with the sound off so we don’t distract our co-workers.

leaders of Apartheid South Africa: “They have the racial situation better organized than anyone else.” A nutcase Pentecostal minister, she bemoaned the fact that tennis was “full of lesbians,” adding that it was “sad for children to be exposed to homosexuality.” (Truth be told, I’ve always been a big tennis fan.)

Speaking to a TV audience, John McEnroe begged Serena Williams to surpass Court’s record Grand Slam victories. “Serena, do me a favor: get two more Grand Slams this year and get to 25, so we can leave Margaret Court and her offensive views in the past, where they both belong.” Other tennis pros like Martina have called for Australian officials to rename the main Margaret Court court in Melbourne. Do it mates! n

COURTING BIGOTRY Finally, it was time again for the Australian Open in late January, and that meant we had to deal once more with crazy Australian former tennis champ, Margaret Court, a woman who once praised the

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>> MAYOR PETE BUTTIGIEG <<

THE POWER OF HOPE

Equality California endorses Mayor Pete Buttigieg for President.

E

BY VICTOR MELAMED

quality California, the nation’s largest statewide LGBTQ civil rights organization, and its Nevada-based affiliate Silver State Equality announced their endorsement of Mayor Pete Buttigieg for President of the United States last month.

The decision was reached unanimously by the groups’ joint presidential endorsement committee following a lengthy process that included a detailed questionnaire, thorough evaluation of the candidates’ viability and policy positions, staff engagement and interviews with the candidates.

Equality California and Silver State Equality released the following statement from Executive Director Rick Zbur: “In our twenty-one-year history, we have endorsed hundreds of openly LGBTQ candidates, but never for president of the United States. That changes today.

From his comprehensive plan to end the HIV epidemic by 2030 to his commitment to make our schools safe and supportive for LGBTQ students to his specific funding and policy priorities to protect and empower the transgender community—especially transgender women of color, who face an epidemic of violence and persecution—Mayor Pete Buttigieg has the boldest, most comprehensive agenda to achieve full, lived equality for all LGBTQ people of any presidential candidate in the nation’s history.

This will be the most important election in our lifetimes—and the stakes couldn’t be higher. Donald Trump and Mike Pence have spent every day of the last three years attacking LGBTQ people and the diverse communities to which we belong: immigrant communities, communities of color, the transgender community, women and religious minorities.

Mayor Pete is the best candidate to take on Donald Trump, win back the White House and help lead the fight to create a world that is healthy, just and fully equal for all LGBTQ people.

While we did not endorse Mayor Pete simply because he’s gay, the historic nature of his candidacy has already had a transformational impact on the LGBTQ community. Electing the first openly LGBTQ president will send a message to millions of LGBTQ youth across the country that no dreams are too big and no leadership position is too high.

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“WHILE WE DID NOT ENDORSE MAYOR PETE SIMPLY BECAUSE HE’S GAY, THE HISTORIC NATURE OF HIS CANDIDACY HAS ALREADY HAD A TRANSFORMATIONAL IMPACT ON THE LGBTQ COMMUNITY.” The challenges we face are great.

But with the power of hope and a bold, progressive vision for the future, there is nothing we cannot achieve. We’re ready to roll up our sleeves and get to work.”

In particular, Equality California and Silver State Equality were impressed by Mayor Buttigieg’s comprehensive plan to end the HIV epidemic by 2030, his understanding that making schools safe and supportive requires bold investments in teacher training and mentorship programs for LGBTQ students, his specific policy and funding priorities to protect and empower the transgender community, his plan to transform the criminal legal system into one that truly promotes justice and instead of one that furthers racial injustice and his proposals for fixing our broken immigration system by protecting refugees and asylum seekers and providing millions of LGBTQ undocumented people, their friends and family with a pathway to citizenship.

Mayor Pete Buttigieg released the following statement in reaction to Equality California and Silver State Equality’s endorsement: “I’m honored to receive the endorsements of Equality California and Silver State Equality, two organizations that have been unrelenting in their fight for LGBTQ+ people and our push for full equality. My campaign is based around a shared future of belonging for all Americans, no matter their sexual orientation or gender identity.

President Trump’s attacks on the LGBTQ+ community, especially our trans members, have shown us that the fight for equal rights did not end with marriage equality. I will be the President to continue that fight for equality for all Americans.”

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>> JOHN M. NORIAN, MD FACOG <<

John M. Norian, MD FACOG, a double board certified reproductive endocrinologist at HRC Fertility, is passionate about helping the LGBTQ community build families.

Y

ou’re probably flipping through this edition of THE FIGHT, reading about family planning and asking yourself, “are fertility treatments really for me?” The short answer is yes!

While lesbian women often start with donor sperm intrauterine inseminations (IUIs), In Vitro Fertilization (IVF) offers the best success rates.

With IVF, Reproductive Endocrinologists are able to precisely fertilize a woman’s own eggs with donor sperm, then allow the fertilized egg or embryo to develop to the blastocyst stage, which is a day 5 JOHN M. NORIAN, MD or 6 embryo. Lesbian couples may also choose to FACOG, HRC conceive through Reciprocal IVF, using one partner’s FERTILITY eggs and the other partner’s uterus to carry the pregnancy. This way, both future moms are genetically connected in part to the child.

Conversely, gay men will use their biologic sperm in conjunction with an egg donor and a separate gestational carrier. Many gay male couples will use the same egg donor so that their children are genetically related siblings. In these instances, full clearances are 20 0 TTH HEE FFIGH IGHTT || www.thefightmag.com www.thefightmag.com 2

obtained for both, the egg donors and the gestational carriers, prior to starting any treatment. These include rigorous medical screenings including infectious disease, genetics, psychological assessments, and important legal clearances. Taken together, these pre-treatment requirements help to ensure both the highest level of patient safety and the healthiest outcomes.

Medically speaking, optimal gestational carriers are healthy, have had a prior uncomplicated pregnancy or pregnancies without too many prior Cesarean sections, and are of a healthy weight.

Different states in the U.S. have different laws relating to surrogacy, so having capable professionals and surrogacy agencies involved ensures the safest and healthiest outcomes for the babies and future parent(s).

In either case, selecting an optimal egg or sperm donor can be tricky, especially if you are in a relationship. Future parents are shown childhood and adult photographs of the donors, learn about their physical traits (e.g., hair color, eye color, height, weight, and ethnic background), and are able to review essays and psychological assessments describing their personality and character traits. Couples sometimes choose to provide their own donors, who may be a family member or friend.

Now you may be reading this and asking yourself, “I am HIV positive. Are fertility treatments an option for me?” The short answer is yes, again. Using advanced reproductive techniques, combined with laboratory testing and preventative medications, your trusted Reproductive Endocrinologist can help ensure the safety for the child and gestational carrier to avoid contracting the infection.

You’re not alone. Consider your options.

John M. Norian, MD FACOG is a double board certified reproductive endocrinologist at HRC Fertility. He is passionate about helping the LGBTQ community build families with assistance and the use of advanced medical technologies. HRC Fertility (HRC) is one of the largest providers of advanced fertility treatment in the world and has been a leader in perfecting new fertility treatments and procedures for over 30 years.

Dr. Norian offers new patient consultations out of his Rancho Cucamonga and Pasadena offices.

For more information on scheduling a consultation, please visit: www.havingbabies.com/ locations/rancho-cucamonga.

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>> DR. DAN KASER <<

Ready for a Baby? Here’s Your LGBTQ Guide to Parenthood

BY DR. DAN KASER, RMA NORTHERN CALIFORNIA

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PHOTO BY KELLI McCLINTOCK ON UNSPLASH

N

o matter what your situation, a family is within reach.

With remarkable medical and technological advancements in fertility care over the last decade, it is easier than ever for LGBTQ couples and individuals to start or grow their family safely, successfully and with the support they need.

As a fertility doctor, the process is something that I talk to patients about every day. However it wasn’t until my husband Dana and I went through the egg donation and surrogacy process as patients ourselves that I fully appreciated how miraculous this gift truly is.

My husband and I have known for a long while we’d need fertility help to start our family, and last year, we finally did— thanks to the indescribable gifts of two women thousands of miles apart. The 7 pound 4 oz result is our loving son Finn, born this January to two wide-eyed dads.

We were at his birth, and there was not a dry eye in the hospital that day. He has quickly become the love of our lives and is new inspiration to help other members of our community to start their families, too.

I have that opportunity to help others find their path to parenthood, whatever it looks like, as a fertility doctor with RMA Northern California and the practice’s Director of Third Party Reproduction. In this role I was familiar with the process needed for Dana and me to start our family. But most members of our

>> RMA NORTHERN CALIFORNIA <<

community who come to me aren’t so sure exactly how to start. So here’s a quick guide to family-building for our community—because knowledge is power.

Options for Gay Men If you’re a gay male couple, you can have biological children through the use of a donor egg and gestational surrogate. Through In Vitro Fertilization (IVF), sperm is joined with egg to create embryos, one of which will be transferred into the uterus of a gestational surrogate to carry to term. Because it’s only possible to use sperm from one partner to fertilize each egg, some gay couples choose to split the process. In this case, half of the eggs are fertilized using one man’s sperm, and the other half are fertilized using the second man’s sperm, giving the couple the chance to have children related to each partner and to each other. Please note that the egg donor and the surrogate cannot be the same person.

Options for Lesbian Women Lesbian couples need the help of a sperm donor to conceive. In the case of Intrauterine Insemination (IUI), donor sperm is inserted into a woman’s uterus at the time of ovulation in hopes of achieving pregnancy. In this case, only that woman can get pregnant and carry to term. In the case of IVF, either woman can carry the pregnancy. During IVF, a woman’s ovaries are stimulated to produce as many follicles (containing tiny eggs) as possible in that cycle. After a retrieval procedure, those eggs are fertilized with donor sperm, and a resulting embryo can be transferred into the uterus of either female partner. This gives both women the chance to share in the process.

Options for Transgender Couples Trans individuals have several treatment options pre- and post-transition, which vary depending on assigned gender at birth and whether there are sperm and/or eggs present. Patients can preserve their fertility through egg or sperm freezing prior to their medical transition (if they choose to transition at all) in order to have biological children in the future through IVF. Once the patient is ready to have children, the frozen egg or sperm will be thawed and paired with partner or donor egg or sperm.

Depending on what each patient is comfortable with, embryos will be transferred into the patient’s or gestational surrogate’s uterus to carry the pregnancy.

DR. DAN KASER, RMA Northern California

“AS A FERTILITY DOCTOR, THE PROCESS IS SOMETHING THAT I TALK TO PATIENTS ABOUT EVERY DAY. HOWEVER IT WASN’T UNTIL MY HUSBAND DANA AND I WENT THROUGH THE EGG DONATION AND SURROGACY PROCESS AS PATIENTS OURSELVES THAT I FULLY APPRECIATED HOW MIRACULOUS THIS GIFT TRULY IS.” Single LGBTQ Individuals Not having a partner doesn’t mean you can’t start your family. Cis-women will need donor sperm and either IUI or IVF to conceive, cis-men will need an egg donor and gestational surrogate to have a baby, and trans individuals could need all three, depending on the situation. The good news is—there are options!

How RMA Can Help I’m proud to say that RMA has been providing best-in-class fertility care to LGBTQ patients since its inception 20

years ago. In fact, we are recognized by Family Equality, the nation’s premier advocacy organization for LGBTQ family building, as an LGBTQ-friendly practice through their ‘Open Door’ certification.

From our flagship center in New Jersey, to our clinics in Philadelphia, to our three offices in California—in addition to San Francisco and Palo Alto, we also have RMA Southern California in Los Angeles— our doctors are compassionate, respectful and really good at what they do. Not only have we helped bring 40,000 babies into the world since 1999, we are the biggest investor of IVF research in the U.S. Why does that matter? The research helps my patients get what they came for—a baby.

I can vouch first-hand—as a doctor and patient here—that RMA provides LGBTQ care in a safe and inclusive environment. We listen before we talk, we look for ways to say ‘yes’ before ‘no,’ and we take your journey personally. You can even text us if you want proof.

We are also here to help you navigate this complex journey. From the financial and emotional investment to the legal contracts and agencies often involved in LGBTQ family-building, we know it’s a lot—and we have resources and people who can help. RMA doctors, nurses, and staff are dedicated to helping you develop a customized treatment plan to meet your needs, on your timeline, your way.

Our approach to patient care is simple—in everything we do, the needs of the patient come first. I want patients to know that I’m here to listen, I’ve experienced this treatment firsthand and I want to help them achieve results—their success is the most important thing to me. No matter who you are, if you want to start a family, we can help.

RMA is proud to serve the LGBTQ community in three locations across California. To schedule a consultation, please visit www.rmanetwork. com or contact the office nearest you.

San Francisco, CA 150 Spear St., Suite 500 San Francisco, California 94105 Phone: 415-603-6999 Palo Alto, CA 1900 University Ave., Suite 101 East Palo Alto, California 94303 Phone: 650-618-6070 Los Angeles, CA 11500 W Olympic Blvd. Suite 150 Los Angeles, California 90064 Phone: 424-293-8841 FEB R UAR Y 2020 | THE F I GH T 23

>> COVER INTERVIEW <<

“We both come from large families, and while we enjoy the life we share together, we knew we both wanted kids early in the relationship”

K

evin Niehaus and Ryan McGann knew from the beginning of their relationship (they’ve been together for six years) that they wanted to be parents. “Children were always a hope for both of us.,” says McGann. “We both come from large families, and while we enjoy the life we share together, we knew we both wanted kids early in the relationship. It came up while dating as something both of us wanted, but the real discussions came after we were married and as we like to say, waiting for our next adventure.”

In an interview with THE FIGHT the couple talks about how they began the process, the services they utilized and the joys of parenthood.

Can you walk our readers through the process—what are the steps you took after making the decision?

Niehaus: We’ve learned that this process is one few fully understand. A lot of people asked whether the surrogate is the egg donor as well—in our case, she was not. The process started with us doing a lot of research on whether we wanted to do adoption or surrogacy. From the start we were leaning towards surrogacy. The first step was finding the agency for our surrogacy. After some deep research we found Dr. Bradford Kolb at HRC in Pasadena. Being a same-sex couple there is always the fear of rejection or discrimination, but Dr. Kolb treated us no differently than any other client with the hopes of starting a family. From there we began the search for an egg donor.

This step was the hardest for us since we quickly found that we had different ideas for an intended egg donor. Let’s say the process is, as we refer to it, like online dating for the genetic make up for your children.

Over the summer of 2018 we found who were thought was the perfect donor.

Unfortunately, the first cycle didn’t take with that donor, and we were depressed. Our hopes were down. After taking some time to

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BY MARK ARIEL | PHOTO BY DUSTI CUNNINGHAM

get started again, we selected a second donor based on the feedback from our doctor.

We cannot express enough how important it is to have a great doctor advocate for you, since everyone at HRC was very supportive.

How did you find a surrogate?

McGann: We had to select an agency for the surrogacy. We ended up going with Same Love Surrogacy, who deals with same sex couples going through this journey, so they had lots of experience.

They matched us with a surrogate in Washington state, simply because there are so many people looking into surrogacy and there’s a shortage of surrogates. We virtually met our surrogate via Skype, who lived in the state of Washington. She was going to be the one we would interact with and who would care for our baby until they, he, or she were here so it was important that we had a good connection.

Once matched—the surrogate flew down to LA to meet with our doctor to get approved to be a surrogate. Once our doctor gave the green light, we began the legal portion for the surrogate. This is important… a lot of people think there’s a fear that she may try to “steal the baby,” but really the legal agreement lays out all aspects of the journey so there are no surprises for anyone.

Once all the documents were signed, our surrogate could start medications and we would expect the embryo transfer mid-May. We were able to be there during the transfer, and from there the dreaded 2-week wait to see if we were pregnant. And we were!

During the first 12 weeks of the pregnancy our surrogate was under the care of our doctor. After 12 weeks she graduated to the care of her own doctor.

How was your relationship with her?

Niehaus: We were lucky to stay in communication with our surrogate weekly.

We mainly communicated via text, but she became like a distant relative to us. She

would send us ultrasounds, and heartbeat recordings. She has three children of her own, so she would tell us about how the kids were reading and talking to the baby.

She also invited us to record our voices so she could play the recording to her. Around 20-weeks were able to go for an ultrasound and we got to see our little girl in the womb. It was surreal and VERY cool.

From there we just waited for the call to jet up to Vancouver, Washington for the delivery. And, despite all our fears, we arrived in time to hear our baby’s first cry.

Let’s recap: what services did you utilize—doctor, surrogacy agency, egg donor agency, fertility lawyer, etc?

McGann: Doctor—Dr. Bradford Kolb of HRC Pasadena.

Surrogacy Agency—Same Love Surrogacy, a company founded by same-sex couples to help same-sex couples have children.

Egg Donor Agency—Beverly Hill Egg Donor (BHED). An amazing team and easy to work with.

Lawyer—Steve Lazarus Law Firm in Marina del Rey. Amazing team and Escrow company.

Your new baby is only a few weeks old (congrats!)—how has it been—being new parents?

She is amazing! Everything after her first cry has been great. Everyone told us to make sure we get enough sleep before she comes, but we are adjusting.

We are also expecting a second baby in July, only six months after the first baby.

The process took so much less time the second time, and we were matched right away with an amazing couple, also out of Washington state that we couldn’t say no.

So, within the same year, knock on wood, we will have two new babies. Twins, we call them with separate birthdays. But, being a parent, is an amazing and VERY scary feeling. But we’d never change it.

> > C O V E R F E AT U R E < <

FEB R UAR Y 2020 | THE F I GH T 25

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<< myself at all. Now I feel super comfortable in my skin, which makes it so much easier to show up for this relationship.

I believe it is easier being in a relationship and being sober. Communicating and listening is what’s key. We have proven that we can talk to one another in emotional situations and show up for one another. And that’s something special.”

—Nicholas Benko, sober since March 15, 2003.

NICHOLAS BENKO, KEVIN HELD

SHOWING UP

COUPLES SOBRIETY

With Valentines Day in mind, we asked t hese two husbands with long term sobriety, how they make their relationship work while working a program of recovery.

KNOWING YOUR BOUNDARIES “For me, the tools of recovery make me the best version of myself. If I’m a person of integrity and I’m honest and I’m happy, joyous and free with myself, then I’m going to be the best partner I can be.

We met in recovery. We had our first kiss at his five-year sober celebration. It wasn’t easy when we officially started dating two years later. I wanted to be monogamous.

He wanted an open relationship. I wasn’t going to get mad at him for not wanting what I wanted. We decided we were just going to date casually. Nine months into it, he wanted a relationship. We compromised 26 6 TTH HEE FFIGH IGHTT || www.thefightmag.com www.thefightmag.com 2

and said we were going to be monogamish and it was a disaster. We had a lot of conversations about being open. We had ups and downs, but at every turn, both of us kept showing up for that conversation.

Today, we are in a polyamorous relationship. It wasn’t for me in the beginning, but I stayed open to it. We started meeting a lot of people in polyamorous relationships and I told him, if this is something he needed, I could give this gift to him. I was in a place where it didn’t threaten me. Then something changed for me. I had this epiphany that it was something I wanted to explore. And it’s been a wonderful experience. One of the gifts of the program is knowing my boundaries. When I first got sober, I didn’t know

“I don’t think I could be in a longterm relationship with someone who wasn’t sober.

There is this language and a way that we understand each other. It provides a base that is really important to us as a couple.

What Program has taught me, for example, is if I’m upset about something, it’s almost always because I have expectations that the situation should be different. Recovery doesn’t give me the out, or a reason to blame someone else for something I might be upset with. I think a lot of times in a relationship, it’s really easy to think if that other person behaved differently, then I would be happy. Instead of thinking, gosh, how do I find happiness in the situation I’m in?

We’re polyamorous and for me it wouldn’t work without sobriety. It has to do with honesty. It means really being fully open.

These are my wants. These are my desires.

I’m telling you the truth. The first thing you have to do, is recognize that it’s something you even want, because it’s not allowed in so many contexts, so it’s about recognizing that it’s something you want and are capable of, and being okay with the other person wanting and being capable of it as well. It requires a lot of conversations. It requires saying the truth and not assuming you’re going to be left for it. The tape that plays in mind--and I know it does for a lot of people in recovery--is, if you knew the truth, you’d leave me. If you knew what I really wanted or who I really am, you would not love me anymore. That tape is so powerful. To make it stop playing is really revolutionary. I have to credit Nick for helping me get passed it, because he keeps learning stuff about me and he doesn’t leave me. He shows up.”

—Kevin Held, sober since, March 22, 2004.

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>> JEWEL THAIS-WILLIAMS <<

tracted during an egg retrieval, and fertilized in the lab (in vitro fertilization). The resulting embryo are then transferred to either the intended mother or surrogate five days later.

CAN YOU TELL OUR READERS ABOUT THE PROCESS?

ROBYN PERCHIK

The process is so personal—no two situations are alike. I have many people who want a donor who looks like they would fit into their family, that reminds them of a sister or a cousin. I have intended parents who want a “smart” egg, meaning that they are looking for an academic achiever.

And then I have recipients who want an “athletic” egg, or a “musical” egg, and so on. The only commonality in the matching process is that no two people are making their decisions the same way.

My associates and I spend time with the intended parent (s) as early as we can in the process to determine what their criteria are, and to help them rank their criteria in terms of importance. We also try to manage expectations about which will be the easiest and hardest criteria to accomplish in the match process.

HOW DO YOU DECIDE WHAT IS A “GOOD FIT?”

THE

GOOD EGG

Beverly Hills Egg Donation’s Robyn Perchik on the recruiting and screening process, determining the intended parent(s) criteria and insider tips WHAT EXACTLY IS AN EGG DONOR AGENCY? An egg donor agency recruits and screens egg donors with the ultimate goal of having a successful egg donation procedure and a resulting pregnancy. The egg donors 2 8 T H E F IGH T | www.thefightmag.com

provide the oocyte (commonly known as the “egg”), which provides half of the genetic material of the child. The intended parent(s) choose the egg donor. The donor goes through a cycle of medication to increase the yield of eggs. The eggs are then ex-

As part of the matching process, we will arrange Skypes or meetings with the donor, if that is what the intended parent(s) want to do. Some of our clients want to be able to tell the child that they met the egg donor, others want to ask the donor to be open to meeting the child when they are 18.

In the last 8 years, we have seen more of a movement towards meeting the donor and opening up the idea of future contact with the donor. Especially in the LGBTQ community, the requests to personally interact with the donor before and after the egg donation process has become increasingly important. We have consistently worked with a large number of LGBTQ single parents and couples, split locally and internationally, who are desirous of keeping communication channels open for future relationships. Couples have met their donors in LA, NY or SF, all facilitated by BHED associates. One IP flew their donor to Europe after the child was born. WE have also seen more of a reaching out by donors to feel a connection with the intended parent(s). They will request a short email telling the donor about themselves, their interests, which really ends up with the donor being more content with helping someone. Then continue with,” a good fit is someone who has most , if not all of the donor criteria, and can

>> ROBYN PERCHIK <<

responsibly get through the process”.

HOW MUCH DOES THE ENTIRE PROCESS COST? Costs excluding medical costs and travel (if applicable) are $16,000–20,000 with donor fees at $8,000–10,000. Shared cycles, with a corresponding reduction in costs, are available at several clinics in CA. This also exclude costs for the surrogates.

ARE THERE ANY “INSIDER TIPS” REGARDING EGG DONATION? When looking at egg donor agencies I would suggest to: Ask if the agency is using international donors. We use donors residing in the US only, citizens or legally able to work in the US. Pick an agency which has a contractual refund policy, many do not.

• Ask the agency questions that will give you an indication of their charge structuredo they take a % of the donor fee (as well as the agency fee). Do they “mark up” travel, or provide it as a service at cost, do they collect receipts and reconcile the expenses. Are there surcharges for cycle

“VISITING AND KEEPING IN TOUCH WITH OUR LGBTQ FAMILIES HAS BEEN A VERY REWARDING PART OF OWNING AN EGG DONOR AGENCY.” coordination, what happens if you don’t have a successful pregnancy.

Your readers need to know that the lowest agency fee may not be the lowest price nor the best value.

HOW DID YOU GET INVOLVED IN THIS FIELD? My background is Insurance, Risk Management, with a law degree thrown in.

I was an underwriter of commercial casualty insurance for Fortune 500 companies. An underwriter is akin to the quarterback on a football field, having to work with a lot

of different customer service and legal/ financial personnel to get to the goal. As I was thinking of retiring from the company that I worked with for 30 years (right out of college), I received an interesting phone call.

The previous owner of BHED was going to sell the business, and a mutual friend who is currently in this field, facilitated my purchase of BHED, and entrance into this business. I have never regretted the career change.

WHAT IS YOUR CONNECTION TO THE LGBTQ COMMUNITY? Connection with the LGBTQ community include family and friends on both coast in the US, and now, due to BHED, LGBTQ families in 17 countries from New Zealand to Norway, and every place in between.

Visiting and keeping in touch with our LGBTQ families has been a very rewarding part of owning an egg donor agency. I love visiting with my international families in their home countries, and watch the children growing up.

For more info call: (310) 279-5272 or visit: www.bhed.com.

PROUDLY SUPPORTING THE LGBTQ COMMUNITY

LEARN MORE ABOUT OUR SERVICES AT: WWW.MEYERSOHARA.COM TEL: 818.783.1111 The Law Firm of Meyers & O’Hara, LLP handles third party reproduction and family formation law, including: • Surrogacy • Egg Donation • Sperm Donation • Embryo Donation Meyers & O’Hara, LLP offers a free initial consultation in person or via telephone.

MEYERS & O’HARA, LLP • 13527 VENTURA BLVD. • SHERMAN OAKS, CA 91423 FEB R UAR Y 2020 | THE F I GH T 29

NATE BERKUS

> > N AT E B E R K U S < <

CAMP WIDOW

Los Angeles LGBT Center hosts conference for LGBT widows and widowers

O

BY ORLY LYONNE

n Saturday, February 29, the Los Angeles LGBT Center will host an innovative conference known as Camp Widow to serve members of the LGBT community who have experienced the death of a spouse or partner.

The daylong event, to be held at the Center’s Anita May Rosenstein Campus, will feature workshops, discussions, and practical tools and resources produced by nonprofit organization Soaring Spirits International.

“Before marriage equality, many LGBT couples kept their relationships hidden as they endured discrimination and experienced the stigma associated with the AIDS crisis, when compared to their heterosexual counterparts,” said Los Angeles LGBT Center’s Director of Senior Services Kiera Pollock, M.S.W. “What Camp Widow will bring to the Center is the validation that all widows and widowers matter, regardless of their sexual orientation or gender identity. Everyone who has lost a partner, spouse, or significant other deserve to have a community of support to grieve—and then thrive.”

Award-winning designer, author, and advocate Nate Berkus is the keynote speaker. In 2004

Nate’s partner Fernando Bengoechea was swept away by a catastrophic tsunami in Sri Lanka during the couple’s trip.

“I’m so pleased to be a part of the LGBT Camp Widow event this year.

Losing someone you share your life with changes you forever, and I know firsthand how difficult that can be,” said Berkus.

Camp Widow Los Angeles takes place Saturday, February 29, 7:30 a.m. – 9 p.m. at the Los Angeles LGBT Center Anita May Rosenstein Campus, 1118 N. McCadden Place, Los Angeles 90038.

To register, visit www.campwidow.org/camp/ los-angeles

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ESTATE PLANNING

Life Ladder Law’s Kathryn Taps, Esq. on why estate planning is crucial to safeguarding your family’s future.

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BY KATHRYN TAPS, ESQ.

hen making New Year’s resolutions, we often commit to things we know we really should do—but never actually get around to.

As a wife and a mom, I completely understand how estate planning could be a failed New Year’s resolution. It’s easy to de-prioritize things that, while good for us, may make us slightly uncomfortable.

Allow me to get you over that hurdle. I’ll come to you.

Scheduling and travel times should not stop anyone from preserving their 3 2 T H E F IGH T | www.thefightmag.com

KATHRYN TAPS, ESQ.

financial legacy and protecting their future.

LifeLadder Estate Planning is a pioneer in mobile lawyering, one of the first practices to offer complete and personalized estate planning services 100% via Zoom conference. Connect with us on your time in the comfort of your home or office.

Why is estate planning crucial to safeguarding your family’s future? The idea of going to court can be stressful with the formality and gravity of the outcome.

However, without an estate plan, your loved ones will have to go to Probate Court to administer your estate. This process is lengthy, expensive, and entirely public. Avoid that ordeal by making a Revocable Living Trust, which designates an individual to distribute your assets without the Court’s involvement, administered according to your wishes and considering the emotional and financial needs of your loved ones.

Offering Estate Planning, Guardians Planning, Animal Care Trusts, and Legacy Preservation, our clients have benefitted from the peace of mind that comprehensive estate planning brings—knowing they’ve chosen the right people and made the best decisions for their children and their assets.

Here is what LGBTQ clients Kian and Jason have to say: “I thought estate planning would be nebulous and stressful, but with Life Ladder we got it taken care of in no time at all. After we got married and bought a home, we knew that planning our estate was a necessary next step, but as a young couple a lot of the potential issues were totally abstract to us. Kathryn’s thoughtful presentation explained everything—and a few things that never even occurred to us. After we met, Kathryn was prompt about responding to our follow up emails and courteous about reminding us about things we missed or neglected. When I didn’t understand a particular topic or the best choice, she took the time to make sure I understood my options and guided me to the right decisions—without ever pressuring me one way or the other. I feel assured that we have this important responsibility taken care of… for life.”

Kathryn Taps, Esq. is the founding attorney of LifeLadder Legal Advisory, and feels privileged to lead her clients through a more approachable, more holistic estate planning process, tailored to the priorities and objectives of young professionals and diverse, growing families.

For more info visit www.lifeladderlaw.com.

FEB R UAR Y 2020 | THE F I GH T 33

>> SOUTHERN CALIFORNIA REPRODUCTIVE CENTER <<

THEIR TREATMENTS INCLUDE SPERM DONATION, INSEMINATION (IUI), IN VITRO FERTILIZATION (IVF) FOR LESBIAN COUPLES AND EGG DONATION AND GESTATIONAL SURROGACY FOR GAY COUPLES.

Southern California Reproductive Center (SCRC): New fertility treatments that lead to impressive fertility success rates.

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ith over 25 years of experience, Southern California Reproductive Center (SCRC) has introduced and perfected new fertility treatments that lead to impressive fertility success rates.

Their treatments include sperm donation, insemination (IUI), in vitro fertilization (IVF) for lesbian couples and egg donation and gestational surrogacy for gay couples. SCRC believes that “everyone should experience the gift of parenthood.”

First, all patients will have an initial consultation with their physician to review their medical history, perform diagnostic testing, and discuss financial options. All diagnostic testing and treatment is done at SCRC’s facility. Once testing is complete, your medical team will develop a protocol and treatment can begin. SCRC works with only the most discreet and highly reputable agencies that provide careful screening and uphold strict criteria for egg and sperm donation, surrogates and gestational carriers. This ensures highest medical safety and protects couples from potential legal complications.

SCRC is committed to helping lesbian couples who desire their own biological children.

Success depends on many factors and prior to treatment a work up should be performed to evaluate the likelihood of conception. In order to maximize the success of conceiving we need to select the optimal treatment for each patient.

For lesbian couples, one partner may choose to donate the egg and the other partner will carry the pregnancy. In order to accomplish this, in vitro fertilization is necessary, as the partner donating the egg would be stimulated with hormones and have her eggs harvested and fertil3 4 T H E F IGH T | www.thefightmag.com

ized and then transferred into her partner’s uterus to carry the pregnancy. However, if one partner is providing the eggs and carrying the pregnancy, in vitro fertilization is not necessary.

Instead insemination can be performed and sperm used to fertilize the eggs can be from a friend, relative or anonymous donor through a sperm bank.

Thanks to advances in reproductive technology, there are now options for gay men who wish to become parents and have a child that is biologically related.

Gay couples who want to have children will need an egg donor, who provides the eggs, as well as a surrogate, who will carry the pregnancy. The partner wishing to use his sperm will undergo a semen analysis to test motility, volume, concentration and morphology of the sperm.

The couple will select an egg donor with one of our reputable egg donor agencies.

Family members can also be used, if medically appropriate. Once the couple has identified both a gestational carrier and the egg donor, one or both male partners will provide sperm samples to be used in the insemination of the donated eggs.

Their egg donor program meets the highest level of professional standards and discretion based on criteria set forth by the American Society for Reproductive Medicine.

For more information visit www.scrcivf.com/ lgbt-families/ or call SCRC at (866) 312-0771.

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Advertisement

Barrera is miles ahead of the competition clocking thousands of hours in residents’ homes addressing homelessness, generational poverty, human trafficking; a first responder helping the same people she will serve when elected. Barrera, a renter, a citizen with no conflict of interest, will not tolerate local government stalling policies that would help end these social crises.

On the opposite end, Robert Fox, a multi-property investor, publicly denounces housing laws and rent control for Long Beach on his website. As a wealthy property investor, it is extremely unlikely that Fox would support policies for affordable housing— that would adversely affect his wallet.

Cindy Allen, also running, is an ex cop turned entrepreneur whose husband was LBPD Commander. The Long Beach Post (founded by Allen) churned out fictitious quotes from Barrera in an attempt to discredit her. Moreover, Allen’s public financial report states clearly she’s not even a resident. Allen lists two Airbnb properties in Long Beach, but her primary residence purchased in 1994 is a home in Fountain Valley. Not even Los Angeles County.

Despite her opponents’ advantages (deep financial pockets, political ties, mayoral/establishment favoritism), recent polls name Barrera the front-runner. She’s fostered working relationships with City Council and stakeholders, garnered over 100 volunteers, won two of the highest voting propensity precincts, earned endorsements from three of the nation’s largest unions, and cornered the Mass Transit sector. She has a full-time staff and is ready to step into her role as Long Beach City Councilwoman for District 2, a real voice in City Hall creating real change.

TAKING ON THE ESTABLISHMENT Jeanette Barrera decided to empty her personal savings and launch her own campaign.

And she’s winning.

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BY TEHLERE SPELLING

ong Beach City government routinely comes under fire for corruption. Current 2nd District City Councilwoman Jeannine Pearce has violated the city’s conflict-of-interest policy, had an embarrassing run-in with LBPD, and is now under state investigation. Yet she’s still serving her term with barely a slap on the wrist.

Fed up with this political abuse and wanting to create real change, a 2nd District resident named Jeanette Barrera decided to empty her personal savings and launch her own campaign.

And she’s winning.

A ten-year public service veteran in social work/mental health,

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THEART >>

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LGBTQ ARTISTS

<<

>>

JESSE McCLOUD

<<

JESSE McCLOUD

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“

’m 26 years old, a non-binary queer hand embroidery artist. Started embroidery over three years ago. I started sewing clothes very young with both of my grandmothers but embroidery I picked up along the way and it stuck the most. I taught myself how to embroider and most of my work is very cartoon based. I reference a lot of different Warner Bros characters and bring some homo erotica into my work. Many of the cartoons are very queer coded so I just fix some deets here and there to bring the queerness out of them all.“ n Instagram/Twitter: @gayponyboy

FEB R UAR Y 2020 | THE F I GH T 41

THEEVENT >> PHOTOS COURTESY OF THE LOS ANGELES LGBT CENTER <<

The Los Angeles LGBT Center opened the doors of Center South last month, a 5,500-square-foot community space located at 2313 W. Martin Luther King Jr. Blvd. near Leimert Park, which signifies the first-ever expansion of the world’s largest LGBT organization into South Los Angeles and champions its long-term commitment to care for LGBT people living throughout the city. The grand opening community celebration included remarks by Center CEO Lorri L. Jean, Los Angeles County Department of Public Health—Division of HIV and STD Programs Director Mario J. Pérez, and Los Angeles Councilmember Marqueece Harris-Dawson.

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>> CENTER SOUTH <<

FEB R UAR Y 2020 | THE F I GH T 43

THECALENDAR >> THINGS TO DO << Hamburger Mary’s WeHo, 8288 Santa Monica Blvd, West Hollywood.

The Rebellion returns for a legendary drag bingo night. Proceeds benefit the Los Angeles Rebillion’s mission to promote inclusivity and and equality through the sport of rugby and their journey to the 2020 Bingham Cup!

FEBRUARY 8 — FEBRUARY 29

FUN HOME Chance Theater, Bette Aitken Theater Arts Center, 5522 E La Palma Ave, Anaheim.

An achingly beautiful journey of self-discovery as an LGBTQ writer, artist, and woman.

FEBRUARY 8— FEBRUARY 13

HEAVEN AND HELL Tom of Finland Foundation, 1421 Laveta Ter, Los Angeles, 90026.

A Group Exhibition Curated by Artists Seth Bogart and Jess Scott.

Scott and Bogart were inspired by a comic panel by Tom depicting two men boarding a metro train bound for “Hell—Heaven.” The destination was a twinning of oppo—pleasure and pain, camaraderie and isolation, truth and disguise, and a total disassembling of the binary itself.

FEBRUARY 8—FEBRUARY 9

MR. BULLET LEATHER 2020 WEEKEND Bullet Bar, 10522 Burbank Blvd, North Hollywood, CA. Saturday, February 8: MBL 2020 Contest. Sunday, February 9: MBL 2020 Beet Bust.

FEBRUARY 8 – FEBRUARY 16

DEL SHORES’ THIS SIDE OF CRAZY: L.A. PREMIERE Zephyr Theatre,7456 Melrose Ave, Los Angeles, CA 90046 Award-winning playwright Del Shores returns home to the Zephyr where he produced Sordid Lives, Southern Baptist Sissies, Daughters of the Lone Star State and The Trials and Tribulations of a Trailer Trash Housewife.

The Resources

REVENGE SONG Geffen Playhouse,10886 Le Conte Ave, Los Angeles, CA 90024.

A rousing, romping, music-filled look at the real life of Julie d’Aubigny,

WINE TASTING: FALL IN LOVE WITH CALIFORNIA 3PM–5PM Total Wine & More,1505 Hawthorne Blvd, Redondo Beach.

Looking for the perfect way to end your Valentine weekend?

Together with the South Bay LGBTQ Center and Total Wine, Redondo Beach, come enjoy and explore the red and white wines that have brought acclaim to Napa Valley, Sonoma, Amador and the Central Coast. a queer 17th century French swordswoman and opera singer.

A LITTLE MORE LOVE CONNIE 8PM Cavern Club Celebrity Theater, Casita Del Campo Restaurant, 1920 Hyperion Ave, Silverlake, CA 90027.

A musical TV special tribute to Olivia Newton-John. LOVE CONNIE (John Cantwell) is back with her annual Valentine’s performance at the Cavern Club at Casita Del Campo and 2020’s is going to be “totally hot!”

SUNDAY, FEBRUARY 9

ONYX SOUTHWEST: LOVETAP! 4PM–8PM Eagle LA, 4219 Santa Monica Blvd, Los Angeles.

Party with the men of ONYX Southwest.

SATURDAY, FEBRUARY 15

MATTE PRESENTS: RHONDAVOUS: A LOVER’S BALL Catch One, 4067 W Pico Blvd, Los Angeles.

A One Night Festival for the fabulous & free where love looms loud and large.

AIDS PROJECT LOS ANGELES 611 S. Kingsley Drive, Los Angeles, CA 90010. www.apla.org.

(213) 201-1600.

91411. www.childrenofthenight.org.

800) 551-1300.

Shelter for sexually exploited LGBT youth ages up to 17 yrs old.

ASIAN PACIFIC AIDS INTERVENTION TEAM 605 West Olympic Boulevard Suite 610, Los Angeles, CA 90025. www. apaitonline.org. (213) 553-1830.

Provides services to all Asian and Pacific Islanders.

COVENANT HOUSE 1325 North Western Avenue, Hollywood, CA 90027. www.covenanthousecalifornia.org.

(323) 461-3131.

Shelter for youth ages 14-24 yrs old, HIV support, employment assistance, counseling.

BIENESTAR AIDS PROJECT 4955 Sunset Boulevard, Los Angeles, CA 90027. www.bienestar.org.

CHILDREN OF THE NIGHT 14530 Sylvan Street, Van Nuys, CA

GAY AND LESBIAN CENTER OF LONG BEACH 2017 East 4th Street, Long Beach, CA 90814. www.centerlb.org.

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MY (SECRET) DATING GAME LGBTQ 7:30PM–10PM Theatre of NOTE, 1517 N Cahuenga Blvd, Los Angeles, CA. An LGBTQ Live singles event that takes spin on the old 70’s TV show by empowering the audience to select who wins a lunch date based on each contestant’s level of selfawareness, honestly and vulnerability, as demonstrated in their answers to thought- provoking questions.

GLOW ME 5TH ANNIVERSARY 9PM–2AM Bullet Bar,10522 Burbank Blvd, North Hollywood.

SUNDAY, FEBRUARY 16

WHITE DRESS PARTY 4PM–8PM Gold Coast Bar, 8228 Santa Monica Blvd, West Hollywood.

The Los Angeles Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence and The Gold Coast Bar Present: The 2snd Annual White Dress Party, a benefit for Life Group LA. Tunes by Dj Hazmat.

White dress of other white festive attire strongly encouraged.

REBELLION RUGBY DRAG BINGO 8PM–10PM GAY AND LESBIAN CENTER OF LOS ANGELES 1625 Schrader Boulevard, Los Angeles, CA 90028. www.laglc.org.

Supports groups, legal help, counseling, HIV+ services, substance abuse treatment and more.

GENDER WELLNESS OF LOS ANGELES 116 North Robertson Boulevard, Suite 702, Los Angeles, CA 90048. www.genwell.org Counseling for individuals, couples, families coping with gender identity issues.

JEFFREY GRIFFITH YOUTH CENTER 7051 Santa Monica Boulevard, West Hollywood, CA 90038.

WEDNESDAY, FEBRUARY 19

BAsSURA, 10PM–2AM The Lash, 117 Winston St, LA, CA 90014.

A trans, queer, and intersex centered Latinx/POC party every 3rd Wednesday of the month. With performances by Lady Forbidden, Orisha Taina, Lady Londyn and Die Anna.

Sounds by Hex Ray (of Club sCum LA) and Pao Vianney. Hosted by Adam Emilio Reyes & Paloma Blvck.

THURSDAY, FEBRUARY 20

MAGIC MALE XXL SHOW 8PM–11PM Faultline, 4216 Melrose Ave, Los Angeles.

Ladies Night Out showing off chiseled bodies, seductive dance routines, cheeky humor and boy-next-door charm that you won’t be able to resist.

SATURDAY, FEBRUARY 29

DRAG BINGO HOSTED BY TWLMP 6PM–9PM Faultline, 4216 Melrose Ave, Los Angeles.

A special night to benefit Albergue Las Memorias AIDS Hospice in Tijuana, MX. www.laglc.org. (323) 461-8163.

Drop-in services, support for at risk, homeless trans youth.

LOS ANGELES FREE CLINIC 8405 Beverly Blvd., Los Angeles, CA 90048. www.sabancommunityclinic.org. (323) 653-1990.

LOS ANGELES GENDER CENTER 1923 1/2 Westwood Boulevard #2, Westwood, CA 90025. www.lagendercenter.com. (310) 475-8880.

Sliding scale clinic.

ORANGE COUNTY THE CENTER 12832 Garden Grove Boulevard, Suite A, Garden Grove, CA 92843. www.thecenteroc.org.

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OC’s Largest Metaphysical & Occult Shop

714.569.0100 2424 N GRAND AVENUE, SUITE K / SANTA ANA, CA 92705

www.TheDragonAndTheRose.com

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Valentine’s Chocolate Because Cold Hard Cash Would Be Too Obvious

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THEFINALFIGHT

Massive

Task

“Queer people don’t grow up as ourselves, we grow up playing a version of ourselves that sacrifices authenticity to minimise humiliation & prejudice. The massive task of our adult lives is to unpick which parts of ourselves are truly us & which parts we’ve created to protect us.”

PHOTO BY CRISTOFER JESCHKE ON UNSPLASH

—Alexander Leon, @alexand_erleon

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“As the new general manager of NEW CENTURY HONDA GLENDALE, I would like to extend a very warm welcome to my brothers and sisters in the LGBTQ community. If you’re in the market for a new car but dread the hassle of the typical macho “hard sell” sales approach—please consider us. We will help you find the car of your dreams within your budget.”

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