Vol. 8 Issue VII

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FOUNDER

The Independent Student Newspaper of Royal Holloway, University of London

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Students’ Union Election Results facebook.com/SURHULmedicine

Your new team of Sabbs: Emma Peagam, Sidonie Bertrand-Shelton, Jason Michalski and Brianna Middleton MacPherson

BY FLORENTYNA DALLOZ On Friday 14th March students were given a twenty-six hour window in which they could cast their vote in the 2014 Students’ Union elections. Voting ceased at 2am on Saturday morning but results were not announced until that evening in Medicine. Various SU officers took part in the announcements with current Vice President and Campaigns and Communications Officer Jamie Green taking the lead role.

Around 9.15 the results were revealed with the part-time volun-

tary positions being announced first.

Charlotte “CGR” Greer-Read was elected as Insanity Radio FM Station Manager whilst Han Randall was successfully elected as Assistant Station Manager. The Students’ Union Television station Rhubarb TV will be run by Tim Richards as Station Manager and Madi Gianfrancesco will work alongside him as Assistant Station Manager. The Orbital, another of the union media outlets will be edited by Jack Kilker with Ollie Hallpike as Deputy Editor.

The positions of Student

Trustees went to Jennifer Mills and Joshua Street. They make up the Trustee Board and oversee the operation of the Students’ Union, specifically making sure that it remains financially stable, acts in accordance with charity law and maintains the reputation of the Student’s Union as an organisation.

Gillian Craig secured positions as both the Union Chair and College Council Representative meaning that she will be in charge of both General Meetings and represent students on the university’s Col-

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lege Council.

Odunola Oladapo was elected as Black Minority Ethnicities Officer and will lead the Delegation to the NUS Black Students’ Conference.

The role of International Students’ Officer was won by Ekoko Mukete and Ikenna Offor will be taking on the role of Development Officer.

Lauren Post will be supporting the Societies and Media CoPresident as Societies Officer and the position of Campaigns Officer was successfully won by Izabela Pawlic.

HL

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EDITORIAL

FOUNDER Editorial

THE FOUNDER March 2014

Editor@thefounder.co.uk / @rhulfounder

New editorial roles and vacancies

Editor - Rose Walker

FOUNDER

Managing editor - Dominic Pini News editor- TBA

Arts - Jasper Watkins Music editor - Vacant

Lifestyle editor - Ashley Stephenson Sports editor - Vacant

Comment editor - Vacant Features editor - Vacant

Film editor - Charlie Pullan

Online editor - Vacant

2014/ 2015 Design editor(s) - TBA

Think you could fill one of the vacancies above?

Get in touch with new Editor, Rose Walker: Editor@thefounder.co.uk

Editor’s Letter Well then, this is my stop. This is the final thing I’ll write for this newspaper but hopefully not the final thing you’ll ever read from me. My very first day editing this paper felt as strange as this, my very last.

My first couple of issues were personally frustrating. I would misplace an image, misspell a name or two (sorry, Ashley and Kristian), would prove why I only got a ‘D’ in GCSE graphics and at times I would feel I was letting the side down. But now, I think about how far the paper has come along and I couldn’t be happier. The design overhaul from the first issue has been very successful, the paper is more beautiful than it’s ever been, it’s cleaner now and more creative.

This year we’ve had interviews with freedom fighters and world famous bands.

We’ve displayed some fantastic creative journalism and given you a student rag to be proud of. I know that I am enormously proud of what the Founder has become and proud also to hand over the reigns to Rose Walker, who will be the new Editor, and to new Managing Editor Dominic Pini, who will no doubt continue to deliver the goods.

Now, before this begins to sound like a Jane Austen novel, I’ll bring it to an end by handing out a few back-pats and handclaps:

To the Managing Editors, thanks for putting me in charge and having faith in what I was up to with all your hard-earned money. Deputy editor, Alexandra, thanks for

making sure the stuff all got to me on time and keeping me organised when things got a bit hairy. Section editors, contributors and columnists, thank you for keeping up with some of the difficult deadlines and always bringing home the bacon.

To the SU, thanks again for letting me camp in your offices for the first few issues, it would have been impossible without your help and yes the red VK stain in the office was me.

Thanks to anybody who has put up with my whinging, anybody who has sat with me designing and prevented me from putting my face through the screen. Thanks to my Red Bull Wingsman for delivering the caffeine in industrial amounts (though I won’t be thanking you for the coronary).

Huge props to Scott and Ashley for the allnighters and my housemates for being understanding about the unsociable hours.

Most importantly, thanks to you for reading this paper and giving it a reason to exist and for giving me and the rest of the team some sense of purpose on campus beyond completing our degrees.

See you all at the bar.

Rich x

THE FOUNDER

The independent publication of Royal Holloway, University of London Volume VIII. Issue: 6 e: Editor@TheFounder.co.uk w: www.thefounder.co.uk

Editor Rich Cunningham Deputy Editor Alexandra Ioannou Managing Editors Toby Fuller, Scott Wilson & Peter Hammond

News Editor Hollie Goodall

Film Editor Ryan Lee Gregory

Deputy News Editor Katie Thompson

Lifestyle Editor Olivia Edmondson

Comment Editor Dominic Pini

Deputy Lifestyle Editor Ashley Stephenson

Features Editor Rose Walker

Sports Editor Stanley Eldridge

Arts Editor Scott Wilson

Online Editor Dani Woolf

Deputy Arts Editor Harry Highton

Design Editor Rich Cunningham

Music Editor Sara Hussein THE FOUNDER is printed in Cambridge by Iliffe Print

NEWS

THE FOUNDER March 2014

FOUNDER News News@thefounder.co.uk / @rhulfounder

Election results continued: As Ethics and Environment Officer Mikko-Walteri Sihvola will work alongside the Welfare and Diversity Officer to ensure that the Students’ Union operates in a sustainable and ethical way. Alex Reilly-Cooper was elected as Sports Officer and will act as a first port-ofcall to all sports club presidents. Chris Wall will work alongside the president of the Students’ Union to ensure that the views of course representatives are passed on to departments to enable development and change where necessary.

The final voluntary executive officer role was received jointly by George Fielding and Matthew Chadkirk. They will work together as Disabled Students’ Officers to ensure that the rights of disabled students are protected and extended over the coming year.

Once the part-time roles had been announced the four sabbatical of-

ficer positions were left. These are only the full-time paid roles and those elected are responsible for managing the union with regards to its strategic development, finances and charitable objectives. Emma Peagam was successful in her campaign and will replace Amabeer Singh as the President of the Students’ Union. As president Emma will not only be the figurehead of the Student’s Union but will be concerned with managing issues related to education and campaigns.

Emma will also sit on university’s Governing Council and Academic Board.

Last year’s Vice President and Education and Welfare representative Sidonie Bertrand-Shelton was again successful and now holds the position of Co-President and Welfare and Diversity officer. The primary focus of her role is to look out for the welfare of Royal Holloway’s 8,500 students as well as cham-

pioning the Students’ Union’s efforts in promoting diversity and endeavors in liberation. Sidonie will also be responsible for the coordination of Welfare Campaigns such as Sexual Health Awareness and Guidance (SHAG) Week and Mental Health Awareness Week. She will also join Emma Peagam on the University’s Academic Board.

The responsibility of developing and over-seeing the running of SU societies has passed from Ian Stewart, the 2013-2014 Vice President who was Student Activities Officer, to Brianna Middleton MacPherson, as Co-President of Societies and Media. Brianna will oversee the Students’ Union’s three media outlets alongside the elected heads of The Orbital, Rhubarb TV and Insanity Radio.

Instead of sports and societies being under the leadership of one sabbatical officer, this year the Students’

Union created an entirely new sabbatical role, Sports and Development Officer. The position was won by Jason Michalski, whose highly popular campaign video, a parody of Macklemore’s ‘Thrift Shop’, went viral on youtube with nearly 50,000 views. He will be responsible for leading the student activities department alongside Brianna and will be involved with the daily running of the SU sports teams. The Sports and Development Officer is further involved in promoting volunteering through ‘Community Action’ projects and working to improve the relations between students and local residents.

Those elected will represent the Students’ Union in their individual categories for the 2014-2015 academic year. Until next year…

President (Education & Campaigns)

Campaigns Officer

Co-President (Welfare & Diversity)

Ethics & Environment Officer

Co-President (Societies & Media)

Sports Officer

Co-President (Sports & Development)

Development Officer

Student Trustees

Societies Officer

Union Chair

College Council Representative

Black and Minority Ethnic Officer

The Orbital Editor / Deputy Editor

Odunola Oladapo

Jack Kilker / Ollie Hallpike

Disabled Students’ Officers

Insanity Radio FM Station Manager / Assistant Station Manager

George Fielding / Matthew Chadkirk

Charlotte “CGR” Greer-Read / Han Randall

Academic Affairs Officer

rhubarbTV Station Manager / Assistant Station Manager

Emma Peagam

Sidonie Bertrand-Shelton

Brianna Middleton MacPherson Jason Michalski

Jennifer Mills / Joshua Street Gillian Craig

Chris Wall

International Students’ Officer Ekoko Mukete

Izabela Pawlic

Mikko-Walteri Sihvola Alex Reilly-Cooper Ikenna Offor Lauren Post

Gillian Craig

Tim Richards / Madi Gianfrancesco

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NEWS

FOUNDER News

THE FOUNDER March 2014

News@thefounder.co.uk / @rhulfounder

News in brief Ask ‘Sam’ stu- Royal Holloway granted millions to dent advisory tackle cyber crime service

BY FLORENTYNA DALLOZ

BY HOLLIE GOODALL NEWS EDITOR Students will be able to seek help from ‘Sam’ in dealing with personal problems at university thanks to the launch of a new virtual online advisory service.

The avatar, created by Keele University in Staffordshire, will offer advice on problems relating to money, loneliness, academic worries and relationships.

Available around the clock, the service is available for free to all students in the UK.

Questions submitted online will receive replies either in a spoken voice or as a written message.

Students will be guided to where they can get further help, either from university staff or from services such as the Samaritans.

Part funded by the Higher Education Funding Council for England, the project is aimed at helping young people living away from home for the first time.

It is hoped that students will find it easier and less embarrassing putting questions to ‘Sam’ (Student Advisory Model) than speaking to a member of staff directly.

The initiative is partly in response to a growing awareness of the importance of the “student experience” following the increase in university fees to £9,000 a year.

Simone Clarke, Keele University’s director of planning and academic administration, has stressed the need for an online service, saying students want “to be able to access information immediately, wherever they are in the world”.

This will “enhance, not replace traditional university advice services”, she added.

However technology has its limits. Unfortunately ‘Sam’ åwon’t be able to help with enquiries such as “I’ve spent all my student loan, what should I do” or “how do I cure a hangover”, which will meet the response: “I’m sorry, I don’t understand your question.”

Royal Holloway alongside three other UK universities has been recently awarded a share of a 3 million pound grant which aims to prevent the threat of malicious smartphone and tablet apps.

Cyber criminals have been increasingly targeting mobile devices in a bid to make money by stealing bank details, getting phones to send messages to premium numbers and tricking users into giving over passwords. In 2013 alone there were more than one million new Android malware attacks recorded.

The malicious apps currently being investigated can gain access to address books and passwords and are then able to redirect the personal data across the Internet.

City University London, Coventry University and Swansea University are the other three universities which have been chosen

by Engineering and Physical Sciences Research Council (EPSRC) and will also be awarded the funding. They too will be conducting research with the intention of preventing malicious attacks by hackers.

Information Security Group lecturer Dr Lorenzo Cavallaro will be leading Royal Holloway’s research team. The main aim of their research is to develop techniques in order to spot cloaked malicious apps.

Once they are able to spot these apps the information will be used to enhance devices in order to counteract

the attacks.

Dr Cavallaro has spoken out, warning smartphone-users that their phones are not safe.

He urged for users to “be wary of an app which asks you to grant lots of permissions before it is installed”.

Mobile phones are not necessarily the private channel of communication that we might think and there is a very real risk of private information being stolen by malicious apps.

The three other universities chosen by the EPSRC will be focusing on app collusion detection rather than studying the behaviour of apps and developing new techniques to spot malicious apps.

Security company McAfee will be partnering with the university teams

and they will provide the researchers with access to a library of safe apps. Igor Muttik, a senior principal architect at McAfee, has recently stated that attackers are aware of the technology that can track them. By improving this technology it will make it more difficult for them to profit from malicious apps.

He commented: “These cyber-criminals often take an industrial approach to malware; they try to maximise their benefits from it.

So, we need to constantly raise the bar by improving the technology and this will make it more complex and less profitable for them to operate”.

Marking boycott could effect graduation

BY KATIE THOMPSON DEPUTY NEWS EDITOR The University and College Union (UCU) has given the go-ahead to a marking boycott that could affect student assessments and graduations amidst an ongoing campaign concerning the pay of university and college staff. If the dispute is not resolved in the next two months, the UCU has said that the boycott will be implemented on the 28th March.

Since 2013, the UCU has been concerned about cuts made to the salaries of university and college staff, who have experienced a

13% real-terms pay cut since 2009 and a mere 1% pay rise offer. This is in contrast to the average pay rise of 5.1% for vice-chancellors, leaving them with a £235,000 salary. Students have felt the effects of such discontent with a series of walk-outs and strikes resulting in cancelled lectures and absent tutors. While it was hoped that the Universities and Colleges Employment Association (UCEA), responsible for the settling of salaries, would come to an agreement with the UCU, they have

refused to engage despite the numerous strikes and complaints from students.

General Secretary of the UCU, Sally Hunt, expressed that a marking boycott would be the ‘’ultimate sanction’’, but a necessary one if the dispute could not come to a conclusion. It has been noted that academics have slipped considerably lower down in the economic league table in the last forty years, falling behind doctors and lawyers who, like academic staff, are vital to society in the work they perform.

Hunt continued: “The strong support for our action so far demonstrates how angry staff are at the hypocrisy over pay in our universities’’.

If the marking boycott is to go ahead, it will be the first since 2006 and may result in late grading and graduation. Many have expressed their concerns that the students’ interests should be put first, particularly during the summer period, which is characterised by important exams and graduation ceremonies.

THE FOUNDER March 2014

COLLEGE News

COLLEGE NEWS

www.rhul.ac.uk

A message from Support & Advisory Services: Golden rules for exam revision It won’t be long before your exam timetables are published and you will be planning your revision strategy to achieve the best you can. Whether you’re a first, second or third year exams are daunting so we’ve asked the student counselling team for some top tips to help you get started. It’s important to remember that everyone studies and learns in different ways so be flexible and do what works for you.

Take a positive attitude towards your exams in the right frame of mind; as the popular saying goes “Fail to prepare; prepare to fail”. Reduce your stress levels and increase your self-confidence by reviewing past exam papers and checking there are no plans to change the format. Review your study material from the year and make cross references. It’s not usually a good idea to undertake new reading as it is likely to be poorly absorbed in your memory. Revise actively, not passively – it is no help to just ‘rewrite’ old notes; make sure you understand your notes and can identify key points, concepts and theories. Practise retrieving your ideas from memory and make use of your knowledge by making connections between the different areas. Work on structuring effective exam answers – one page of well-structured answer is worth ten pages of unstructured ‘waffle’ – and on writing some complete exam answers. Get used again to writing without a break for forty five minutes to make the most of the limited time in exams.

When revising keep refreshed and hydrated – don’t let yourself daydream or think negatively about how you are progressing. Take regular breaks to prevent exhausting yourself and test yourself on the last topic when you start back revising. Lots of students choose to revise alone but consider whether you would benefit from group revision in a mutually supportive environment.

Perhaps most importantly don’t panic – keep calm and focus on receiving your good results in the summer!

Helen Groenendaal, Support & Advisory Services

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COMMENT

THE FOUNDER March 2014

FOUNDER Comment Comment@thefounder.co.uk / @rhulfounder

New Budget New Status Quo

mirror.co.uk

Peter Neale takes a microscope to the new budget

BY PETER NEALE This week has seen the release of a budget that is decidedly unradical. A few trifling tax allowance changes, and of course the new one pound coin, will grab headlines, and some far-reaching reforms of pensions have been agreed to, but in general the message has been ‘more of the same’. That’s very good for the financial markets, because they crave nothing if not stability; but is it really good for anyone else?

‘Austerity’has finally been abandoned by the Chancellor. Despite a deficit of £100 billion, public spending has actually increased; extra billions have been found to subsidise manufacturers’ energy bills, inflate the housing market (through the Help to Buy scheme) and increase the tax free allowance.

It is unquestionably the state investment Osborne has poured into the economy since 2012 which has caused the current positive growth. Yet you wouldn’t have known it from his rhetoric! Still he claims that public services ‘need’ to be cut back further, and even more drastically, in the name of ‘balancing the books’, and ‘austerity’.

As we have felt over the past few years, though, fiscal pain certainly doesn’t lead to economic gain – one only has to look at the example of Romania, where deep cuts in the wake of the 2008 recession led to spiralling unemployment and falling output, and finally to riots and violent protests.

‘Austerity’ is simply an inconsistent idea, exploited inconsistently to justify cutting public spending on things that help the poor. There’s clearly enough money for the Bank of England to disperse hundreds of

billions of pounds through the financial markets as part of its ‘quantitive easing’ programme – but suddenly it has become imperative for the welfare budget to be dramatically cut, in case the money somehow ‘runs out’.

People point to the rising cost of welfare since 1945 and complain about scroungers and fakers. Yet of course the welfare budget has risen!

Unemployment is much higher than it was in the full-employment glory days of the 1950s and 1960s; the cost of living has risen dramatically; and, well, in case you hadn’t noticed, the population has increased somewhat.

This decade-long obsession with cutting the welfare budget has made life infinitely more difficult for many of Britain’s most vulnerable people. Millions now rely on food banks for simple sustenance; disabled people have been driven to suicide by the insane rigmarole that is fit-for-work assessments; and asylum seekers have to try and live on £35 a week (they are not permitted to work for money).

Of course, state investment in British manufacturing is important, since more local production helps the balance of trade, and allows us to regulate more easily the labour conditions and environmental impact of the products we consume.

Yet if there is enough money to throw billions of pounds at exporters, through a variety of somewhat illconceived schemes, surely there is also enough to support those in need? Child poverty in Britain is increasing, and that is a trend we must work to halt.

Ed Miliband’s talk of the ‘cost

of living’ crisis is well overdue, since it is no longer possible to sustain a family on a full-time minimum-wage job. Yet in Labour’s rhetoric there is a disquieting disregard for minority groups – they have promised to ‘get tougher’ even than the Tories on benefits claimants (who are not a degenerate sub-species, but perfectly ordinary, hard-working people – over 90 % of benefits go to people in work), and are continuing the bizarre immigration policies that have caused misery to tens of thousands.

It has been Home Office policy for a decade or more to automatically reject almost all asylum claims, even from those fleeing quite obvious warzones, or even those with visible scars of torture.

Therefore all asylum seekers have to go through a lengthy legal appeals procedure, spending months either in horrible privately-run detention centres (which are worse than prisons, according to campaign groups such as Close Campsfield) or trying to subsist on that £35 a week. This is the grim reality of immigration targets – and I hope you can see that hypocritical combination of miserliness and reckless spending here, too.

This miserliness is reflected in the lack of funding for projects to help new immigrants integrate into their communities, which would not only help the migrants but also stem the tide of xenophobia that imposes these unreasonable immigration targets.

Some primary schools in diverse areas, for instance, were given extra funding to cope with the costs of teaching several hundred children basic English; this funding was

cut during the coalition’s time in office, and the result has naturally been more grumbling about ‘these foreign kids’ using up a disproportionate share of the school’s limited funding.

The same applies to many other public services – a little extra funding would help people to appreciate the overwhelmingly positive impact immigrants have (according to the LSE among others) on the broader economy.

The reckless spending, on the other hand, is on the various detention facilities, security, extra border policing and immigration ‘courts’ (I use inverted commas, since they are very far from being places of justice) needed to prevent as many people from coming into the country as possible. These put tens of millions of government pounds into the hands of G4S, Serco, and Mitie, who run a scandalously bad service and milk the system for as much as it’s worth.

Wouldn’t it be lovely if, next year, we saw a budget which replaced shady corporate subsidies with a welfare system that really could keep the wolf from the door for the millions reliant on food banks? And wouldn’t it be nice to shift the money which goes into cruelly preventing immigration into schemes that help immigrants enrich British communities?

Apparently not. It seems Westminster is more interested in punishing the poor and keeping those nasty foreigners out than in trying to make Britain a place which works for all of its inhabitants.

THE FOUNDER March 2014

FOUNDER Comment

COMMENT

Comment@thefounder.co.uk / @rhulfounder

The Modern Celebrity

Crisis tumblr.com

BY JAMES SOMPER

Flicking through the pages of any glossy magazine it is clear to see that the modern celebrity is in something of a crisis. A crisis that drives them from promoting and campaigning for Drug Rehabilitation Charities to being hauled up in front of a District Attorney for some petty drugs charge.

Indeed, these “idols” have become awash with contradiction and hypocrisy as they search for a sense of unique and distinct identity in a world where lying on your back whilst being ravaged by a Politician or film star suddenly deems you famous enough to have an autobiography published at the age of 23.

Of course, this is something hardly new. For the last ten years, the main product of the “X Factor effect” has been a surplus of copycat indistinguishables, each the same as the last.

The gelled hair, the white teeth, the team of personal stylists and a seemingly never ending troupe of fans as the management count the dollars being taken in at yet another book signing for yet another “My Story” autobiography.

The same sad process is repeated again and again as each new singer, model or footballer is leaped upon by a team of agents, publicists

and stylists, there sense of self eroded and destroyed. You only have to look at most bands today to see this. Male or female, One Direction or The Wanted, The Saturdays or Imagine Dragons, they are physically and socially indistinguishable from one another.

The same is true of the actors and actresses that we seemingly treat on a par with the Gods of Greece and Rome.

They have been churned off the same production line by an industry that focuses on aesthetic appeal and marketability rather than ability or talent. By no means are these people unwilling though. They will happily be complicit in there transformation from adolescent schoolboy in to adult superstar.

They will put on the gold Nike airs, smile and wave to the crowds and happily sit before cameras expressing their perpetual and inviolable love for their fans whilst detailing plans for their upcoming film.

Perhaps, I’m being unfair.

Perhaps I’m being crass. But, looking at the “idols” of our parents’ generation it is only too clear to see how generalised and loose the term “celebrity” now is. Loren and Mastroianni, Burton and Taylor, McQueen and Connery; these were stars, real,

absolute and genuine icons whose.

From starring in some of the most iconic European films ever, to making groundbreaking performances that redefined modern theatre fame, wealth and army of fans were deserved.

The talent and the passion were real.

The glamour and style was genuine.

The destructive binges and violent temperament on and off screen were what defined these individuals whose eyes were constantly hidden behind a pair of dark Italian sunglasses as they marauded around from rehearsal room to bar.

There was no team of stylists and management advising on the day’s wardrobe or the latest charity endeavour whilst simultaneously filing for an injunction in order to gag yet another “kiss and tell” story from yet another prostitute. There was no pretense or contradiction in character. No visceral need for fame.

Unlike today where celebrities seem awash with uncertainty and contradiction, the idols of our parents kept to a rigid paradigm of existence. They were lifeless forms engulfed by their own quest for more notoriety and commercial success.

It is this commercialisation of celebrity that has caused the term to implode

and banal. As David Bowie in his ironically titled Fame remarked, fame “puts you there where things are hollow”.

Although first performed in 1975, Bowie’s criticism of the modern day nature of celebrity is still highly relevant. Today, celebrity is an accessory.

We all desire it and are prepared to do anything for it even, as flicking through any tabloid newspaper will sadly confirm, confess and commercialise our sexual exploits and personal woes for the sake of five minutes in the public eye.

The creation of fame is industry which we are all part of. We buy the magazines, watch the “snapshot in to my life” fly-on-the-wall documentaries and macerate ourselves with their exploits. The fact that brackets and categories of “A list”, “B list” and “C list” celebrities have emerged and even magazines which document the exploits of these “stars” is testament to the fact that we live in a world where anyone can become “famous” for anything.

It is a term that has become as tacky and overused as the cheap t-shirts and shoes that our “icons” are paid to wear.

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COMMENT

THE FOUNDER March 2014

FOUNDER Comment Comment@thefounder.co.uk / @rhulfounder

Something to Talk About Matt Elsom elucidates the murky area of writing comment articles, by writing a Comment article.

BY MATT ELSOM Pfft...Writing articles is hard. Or rather finding a topic worth writing about is hard. I mean, what do you really want to read about? You’ve probably read dozens of things today already: articles, Facebook statuses, and a whole range of other stuff from the Internet. How much of it really registered? The signal to noise ratio is sliding a little bit out of control in the information age. Better find something good to say.

Like a dry first date, let us turn to the news for talking points. This week, [Insert political current events story here], which I’m sure we can all agree was a/an [lol-worthy incident/ absolute waste of time/ humanitarian disaster] (please delete as applicable). It certainly seems to me that David Cameron should [resign /be made king/ not have said that thing about “common people”]. He sure is a [hero/ man of the people/ c**t].

The trouble is, it takes me so long to properly make up my mind about something, that committing to print my thoughts on current events actually happening in the world feels a little like sticking my head above the parapet. It also takes me quite a while to write anything at all, so I can usually rationalise this cowardice by deciding in advance that by the time a ‘current events’ article of mine gets anywhere close to a place someone might actually read it, it will be totally irrelevant.

‘News’ will be olds, and by olds, I mean the sort of conversation topic that invokes a nostalgic ‘oh yeah’ feeling when brought up at a dinner party years later. Remember in 2010, just before the election when Gordon Brown left his microphone on and called that old woman a bigot. And all the stupid faces he used to pull. See. That’s my comfort zone.

Perhaps I shall write a review. Nah, that’s no good. My taste ranges between sickeningly populist to overwhelmingly niche. I suppose so does everybody’s, but trying to explain why Breaking Bad is good for the 700th time is a bit like writing a review titled ‘Coca Cola: My New favourite Soft Drink.’ Everyone already knows. On the other side of the spectrum, you have that awful feeling when you show a friend or lover your favourite book, band, movie or piece of gentleman’s (or ladies) special interest literature and they turn to you, shrug and say those awful words: ‘it’s alright.’

The pain, the pain. Imagine that, but bigger. Besides, it’s well known that only people who have already made up their minds about something would even bother to read reviews. All in all it gives the entire exercise a whiff of futility.

Who’s up for some wry commentary on student affairs. Hey, have you ever noticed that smoking, drinking and dancing ‘til 3am is really fun and....oh I give up. If I really wanted your attention, I’d have written a piece titled ‘17 ways my cat is awesome’, but I don’t think I’ll ever sink quite that low.

I’ll just do what I always do and talk about my feelings like only a true neurotic can, all the while trying (so desperately trying) to make you laugh.

Or maybe I’ll just fuck the whole thing off, scribble some metawanky-bullshit and be done with it.

Thanks for reading. Thumbs up. Smiley face.

THE FOUNDER March 2014

FOUNDER Features

FEATURES

Features@thefounder.co.uk / @rhulfounder

DYING FOR A TAN: SOCIETY'S DANGEROUS LOVE AFFAIR WITH THE SUN

BY ROSE WALKER FEATURES EDITOR ‘It looks like you’ve got glue on your face!’ Children can be mean. But they were right - it did look like I had glue on my face. I have a vivid memory of sitting on a beach aged 6 and scowling at my friends’ apt observations. What was actually on my face was Factor 60 suncream, liberally applied by my parents.

My childhood memories of suncream are as sour as my Mother’s face when she saw the top of my feet so badly burnt I spent nights crying whilst standing in a bucket of cold water. Of course, like most things (most, not ALL things, Mum) she was absolutely right.

My parents have always been super conscious about sun protection, namely because I seriously do live up to my ‘English Rose’ namesake (groan). It only takes half an hour in the English summer sun, and I burn. Oh, I know.

‘You burn then you tan, right? It’s totally fine.’ Well, one summer that did actually happen - I burnt my chest, or ‘decolletage’ if we’re being posh. And yes, a week later it turned a little bit brown. I was thrilled! I was amazed! I too could be this lovely shade of, er, leather, that so

and rain. My ‘tan’ lasted a few weeks, but due to its placing, just looked like I was wearing a beige bib. I haven’t ‘tanned’ since then - unless you count painting myself with some concoction out of a bottle before SU nights deemed worthy enough. The recent spate of hot and sunny weather has reminded me of why I now don’t risk it.

I don’t attempt to tan because I’m now extremely conscious about the

‘The trouble begins with young people not having a sense of their mortality. They sunbathe at any cost,’

sun. A few years ago, my Dad had an allergic reaction to it – but please don’t imagine vampires bursting into flames.

His face swelled up quite severely, and after a few GP visits they told him he’d spent too much time in the sun when he was younger and was now extremely susceptible to it. Since then, he’s had to I don’t attempt to tan because keep an eye on various mole changes and I’m now extremely conscious skin growths and has had to have some them removed. I think that’s mainly about the sun. A few years ago, of what has motivated me to be more conmy Dad had an allergic reaction scious about how much exposure I get, to it – but please don’t imagine but it would appear much of society is vampires bursting into flames. starting to agree.

In a survey conducted by Elle magazine last year, 85% of their readers many of my school friends were! said they were concerned with sun dam Thankfully, English ‘summer’ age – however, the same group admitted cut short my plans with its usual clouds to wanting a tan regardless of the warn-

ing signs.‘The trouble begins with young people not having a sense of their mortality. They sunbathe at any cost,’ says dermatologist and Garnier suncare advisor Dr Jennifer Jones.

So how do the sun’s rays actually harm us? Chartered chemist and chief sun care consultant for Boots, Mike Brown, explains.

‘It starts with the law of physics that says energy can’t be created or destroyed, only transferred. The amount of energy in a particle of UVB light happens to be exactly the same as the energy required to mutate certain proteins in our DNA. So whenever UVB rays hit our cells, a reaction takes place that results in a tiny portion of the skin’s DNA becoming damaged.

The other problem with UVA is that is penetrates more deeply than UVB and is therefore able to reach and prevent fibroplast production.

It’s a similar story with UVA. Considered the ‘safe’ tanning ray until the early 1980s - and used in sunbeds as a result – it’s since been proven to be just as harmful as UVB. Although it doesn’t hit our DNA directly, it reacts with other proteins, sparking a chain of damage that can eventually reach and mutate the DNA. The other problem with UVA is that is penetrates more deeply than UVB and is therefore able to reach and prevent

fibroplast production – the micro-beds of collagen and elastin that help skin look healthy and young. More frighteningly,

Six new cases of melanoma are diagnosed in teenagers and young people a day, making it the most common cancer among 15- to 34year olds

UV rays also weaken skin immunity, as they damage the skin cells that are normally used to suppress the first signs of cancer.

Six new cases of melanoma are diagnosed in teenagers and young people a day, making it the most common cancer among 15- to 34- year olds. Easy access to sunnier climates, a thinning of the ozone layer and a bid to be brown mean we’re cramming more UV exposure into our first few decades than previous generations did in a life time – and the effects can be deadly. In 2012, while the UK sun care market grew almost five percent to £284 million, the incidence of skin cancer was found to be greater than that of breast, lung, colon and prostate cancer combined.

Frightening? Certainly. However, the simplest ways to protect yourself are also the best. Reduce your exposure time, invest in a suncream with a high SPF rating and avoid spending time directly in the sun between 11am and 3pm when it’s at its hottest – because ultimately, the risks aren’t worth it.

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FEATURES

FOUNDER Features

THE FOUNDER March 2014

Features@thefounder.co.uk / @rhulfounder

THE ROAD TO GRADUATION

THE ROAD IS AROUND 100,000 WORDS LONG BUT WORRY NOT: DEPUTY EDITOR, ALEXANDRA IOANNOU, PROVIDES SOME MOTIVATION TO TACKLE THE FINAL FEW MILES Graduation: the big G that freshers are oblivious to, second years think is miles away, those who have taken gap years are attempting to delay and that scares finalists so much that most endure an emotional breakdown of some description on a weekly basis.

Many of us have taken to our dissertation caves, slaving away at our theses deep into the night. Others are preparing to face the big wide world, thinking of the future, making plans; some are contemplating career paths, others choosing a colour scheme for

their wedding day, excited to settle down with a husband or a wife. A few are currently procrastinating by shopping for that all important graduation ceremony outfit, wondering if the weather will hold out to be able to wear their favourite pair of shoes (guilty). In our new shiny shoes, with Founder’s building as the beautiful backdrop, our graduation photographs, that will undoubtedly litter our social media feeds for the next six months, will hold individual memories for us all. They will mark us reaching the finish line whilst

simultaneously encapsulating the entirety of the past few years spent studying at what I think to be the most wonderful university. The long-distance race of 100,000 words that we’ve all endured is slowly but surely coming to an end. Whilst we’re not quite at the finish line yet, this term and these dreaded last few thousand words, really are the final hurdles standing between us and our photos in our funny hats.

We will be bestowed with numerous pieces of advice about life, relationships and finding success between

now and graduation. But for most of us, it will all fly right over our heads.

We will make the mistakes we need to make on our own, first, before realising that, maybe, those words that little old man who was once a lecturer said to you were wiser than you gave him credit for. Then again, through that literary beard of his, it was practically impossible to make out what it was he was saying anyway. As I cannot boast a literary beard, or any words of wisdom for that matter, I leave you with an apt quotation from Dr. Seuss:

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‘You’re off to great places, Today is your day!

Your mountain is waiting, So.. get on your way!’

A FINAL MESSAGE TO THE FOUNDER TEAM:

A big well done and thank you is owed to those of you who have worked exceptionally hard over the past two years to make The Founder what it is and of course to all our lovely readers and contributing writers! I’ve thoroughly enjoyed my time as deputy editor and as

part of such a dynamic team. The paper is something I am immensely proud of and I’ve found my dedication and hard work to be incredibly rewarding both professionally and personally. To those of you able to continue your loyalty and hard work into the next academic

year, I wish you good luck! If anybody would like to be part of the team for Royal Holloway’s only independently run student newspaper, get involved early on when you have enough time to make something of your role. I cannot recommend getting involved

with The Founder enough; you’ll meet some great people, read and write some very interesting things and have something that’s a little bit of a break from all those assignments! Go for it!

ARTS

THE FOUNDER March 2014

FOUNDER Arts

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WANTED Picture Gallery Volunteers

Arts@thefounder.co.uk / @TheFounderArts

BY SCOTT WILSON ARTS EDITOR

Volunteering: Third year Kate Haffendem makes polar-bear masks with children and families, one of many events orchestrated by Curator, Laura MacCulloch.

I’ll catch you at the first sentence: would you like the experience of helping curate one of Britain’s most eclectic art collections whilst at university?

After my most recent article, veteran Curator Laura MacCulloch offered to let me interview her about her plans for the Gallery in the next academic year.

As Arts and Managing Editor, when I took over the paper almost three years ago I thought, ‘I’m going to start a crusade to get the Picture Gallery open all the time, forever. This is it, Holloway, welcome to the new Arts section.’ Although I wrote a few articles, over three years I didn’t get close: running a paper can be surprisingly difficult, and being a student full of fun distractions. Laura MacCulloch, on the other hand, gets things done.

“A gallery is all about access,” she says in the interview above Founder’s Library, not so far from the Gallery itself. The successes of the recent Picture Gallery Wednesdays have shown that there is a huge public and student interest in accessing the gallery. But “I’m doing it by myself, with a few volunteers” she explains.

Laura is liaising with the careers service, and it has been confirmed that it will be facilitated through the

Passport Scheme. The volunteering would not be limited to the Gallery itself, either.

“A lot of people don’t realise most of our collection is on paper,” she explains. “I’d be interested in arranging events where these parts of the collection could be seen.”

If they felt comfortable with doing so, student volunteers would eventually have the opportunity to present talks on specific paintings themselves.

It’s also fantastic work experience: “If people are really interested in curating, it’s another route they may want to do,” Laura outlines.

The events have been attracting larger crowds each time. “I thought the first talk would only attract five people, but the average each time has been about forty!” Laura also greenlit the first children and families event (pictured above) - an event which drew 878 people through the door, a Picture Gallery record. “Getting involved with people is what a university collection should do.” This isn’t the first record these changes have broken either. The new Wednesday openings are the first regular opening hours since the 30s or 40s. After 70 years, the Holloway col-

lection has been getting some air.

The popular talks have a very accessible format: there is always a brief introductory talk, and many of them take place at lunchtimes when people are free. The team who arrange the open days, have been supportive and compliant with the ideas, and so prospective students who come to see the collection are seeing even more of the “cultural space” than ever before.

The careers service, college, and Laura are discussing how best the scheme could be facilitated, so keep your ear to the ground for news over next term and the summer - piles more information will be released then. Included below is Laura’s email address for any of those who are interested in the idea and want more information.

“The gallery has gone from strength to strength. I want to do more with the collection,” Laura adds. Part of any volunteering work may involve expanding the collection into previously unused spaces and collaborating with students on certain courses. This may involve setting up temporary exhibition space for Media Arts installations, working with Drama students, and analysing parts of the collection alongside those studying Modern Languages.

Other plans are being developed, too.

There will be a new Art store in the Library, and gallery Audio Tours and a new style of light-filtering blinds for the windows will help keep the collection accessible and in the best condition possible.

Flexibility would be key, and Wednesdays will be the days that volunteers may be most active. It’s “not a sitting down” role, Laura says. It’s also a role in which you’ll be working with some of the most iconic paintings from the Victorian era and beyond, so it beats being the treasurer of the Thimble Collecting Society ( I made that society up, so no one would get angry).

So there’s some good news for you all, and as this is my last ever article in The Founder I wish you all goodbye and it was a pleasure. Also, I was informed that the statues of Victoria and Thomas and Jane in the North Quad were carved by Queen Victoria’s nephew, Count Gleichen, and are part of the priceless collection - so perhaps we should all stop climbing on and off them for novelty pictures to throw up on Facebook.

If you would like more information, please email Laura.MacCulloch@rhul.ac.uk.

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ARTS

THE FOUNDER March 2014

FOUNDER Arts Arts@thefounder.co.uk / @TheFounderArts

Arts Creative Writing Special:

Words: BELLE ARLISS ‘That was the trouble with women’, he had heard his father say. Yet John wondered what he even meant, as the corner of her skirts whispered around the corner, and she was gone. Every Wednesday at the market he shared that same moment, every time his heart danced, only to plunge into his stomach when she turned her head, and left. Always she left. For a year now this routine had plagued his mind, ‘faint heart never won fair lady’, he had once read in an English novel. The dog-eared copy still sat loyally amongst a few other yellowing books on his bed stand.

All of the American advertisements showed a strong man and beautiful woman, beaming at one another, white teeth, clean house, green grass, perhaps even a golden dog lolloping in the garden. John looked around the market place from where he sat, on a faded crate, in front of his father’s stall, and that world seemed more than miles away. Dust coated nearly everything, determinedly cheerful voices yelled from stalls selling anything from wooden carvings of zulu masks, miniature elephants made of creamy ivory, to paintings depicting Masaii warriors standing proudly, silhouetted against orange sunsets. The owners of the voices shouted incessantly, unperturbed by the tourists who passed by, uninterested.

‘Come, come, looky, looky,’ was a favourite chant of theirs. He saw one pair of tourists, young girls, skin as white as the ivory elephants, drawn in by the glitter of jewellery. As soon as they approached the shade of the shabby stall, its owner, the hawk-like Mazungu spied his target and began his routine. He picked up bracelets made from cowry shells, ‘ooh’ ing and ‘ahh’ ing, ‘very nice, very nice’ he said in his thick coastal accent, this time holding up a necklace of bone beads in bright colours, his voice exclaiming encouragingly, his broad lips shaping sing-song words. Yet his eyes

did not mirror the enthusiasm with which he spoke, as he spied his son daydreaming, again, on that crate. His long legs and strong hands he inherited from his father, yet his wandering mind, surely a habit caught from his mother.

Thinking of her often absent eyes and dreamy smile, he decided that today would be a good sales day. She never moaned or complained, she never even frowned or wrinkled her smooth forehead, but Mazungu had heard her sighs as worked in the kitchen, and it hurt his heart to think of her dreaming or wishing for better things. At this thought, he drew his attention away from John and his reveries, and back to his jewellery: ‘Ah but this is something very special!’

He moved toward the girls, his fat bottom squeezing between the two tables, gesturing toward the especially ordinary shell anklets they were admiring. Yes, today he would sell. *

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Later in the day, John thought back to those almond-eye glances beneath curled eyelashes, the sweep and curve of her back beneath that brightly coloured fabric, her tiny white toenails coloured with golden dust. Did she know? Sometimes she even looked back - well, of course she did, he must look the fool drooling after her and never saying a word. But there was no disdain in her eyes, only a spark which he had seen in one other place, in the photograph of his mother on her wedding day. He recalled the way that this morning she had so carefully chosen fish from the stall a few along from theirs, her lips pursing, scrutinising the selection, as she simultaneously patted the heads of her younger siblings, a vague attempt at persuading them into silence as they bounced around her.

Alas, the image of her faded and was replaced by that hot, muggy day in

Malindi. The toothless man turned corn on rusty skewers on the road side, mindlessly burning the yellow rows of beads, turning them browny-black. The smell was only slight but it still wafted around, combining with the smells of the market. The pungent leather which the gentle Chai sold, (he measured his customers feet upon tracing paper and made sandals while they waited, embroiling them painstakingly with tiny colourful beads), the tobacco the wry Kazuri smoked from an ancient wooden pipe, (nobody knew where this pipe was from, for it was not the local custom to smoke at all, most men chewed the tobacco leaf straight from the plant, and spat the red juices upon the dust as they walked).

These were all familiar smells for John, along with that smell which perforated and offended nostrils alien to it, the smell of the freshly caught fish, sold by a man they all jokingly called ‘Mr Rooney’, (a name attributed to him due to the faded football t-shirt he wore, everyday, without fail). He travelled from door to door along the coast on his brakeless bicycle with his two buckets- one of gutted fish and one of his famous live crabs. Red and angry in their cylindrical prison, he held them up one by one to his customers for scrutiny, his hand grasping their body firmly as they snapped lazily toward his skinny arm.

A dragonfly landed wonkily upon the pinnacle of a wooden giraffe’s nose, in a blazing strip of sunlight, capturing his attention. John watched it, as its glittering wings, like stained glass, slowed almost to a standstill. Soon he was lost in the tiny veins in each wing, the way the sunlight passed through the transparent film of them, how deliberate yet delicate its design seemed to him. He stared almost unseeingly, his vision becoming blurred around the edges like an old photograph, and he could see circles through those wings,

circles like eyes, beautiful almond eyes... he blinked. So did the eyes. John startled, his hazy vision soaring and escaping into the air with the dragonfly.

There she was. A smile spread across Sahara’s face and without a word, she held out her pink palm, never losing his eye contact. Maybe mama was right, she thought, as her heart raced, and he simply looked blankly up at her. Rosy cheeked, she withdrew her hand. In that instant she realised that everyone had seen it, everyone in the marketplace had seen him ignore her, and her throat burned and ached but she swallowed furiously, she would not cry over a boy. Her pace quickened as she walked through the marketplace‘Wait!’

A shout echoed after her and she turned to see him striding, running, then he had reached her. He stood there awkwardly, panting.

‘What do you want’, she mumbled, staring at the ground and shuffling sand between her feet, desperately trying to sniff back the tears which refused to remain imprisoned any longer.

‘I...I just wanted to say that, well, I think... I think...you’re lovely’ He cleared his throat nervously.

Sahara peered at him from beneath wet eyelashes, and saw that now it was his long fingers which were extended hopefully in the air between them. *

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John looked over his shoulder as they left the market place that Wednesday and saw his father’s face wide with rage. Hand in hand, they began to run together, laughing as shouts followed them and dust clouded at their heels, into the hot, fragrant air.

THE FOUNDER March 2014

FOUNDER Arts

ARTS

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Arts@thefounder.co.uk / @TheFounderArts

Extraordinary Beauty and Extraordinary Evils Words: BELLE ARLISS

It does seem to be consistently the case in life that extraordinary beauty will insist upon running alongside extraordinary evils. This is something which has crossed my mind each time I have arrived at Nairobi Airport. The overwhelming stench of sticky bodies is something which one never forgets, the broken flooring and ‘out of order’ luggage conveyor all familiar parts of the scenery.

Half-uniformed men jostle patiently, holding signs for harassed tourists, and something tells me that ‘Mr John’ could have some trouble finding his taxi man.

Upon exiting, it would seem that every face has been awaiting your personal appearance, as the children who have been crouching expectantly on the sun- baked pavement swarm to life around you, and you are surrounded by the pale pink of expectantly open palms.

The first time I encountered

this world, at the age of seven, I cried for days. My infant sense of justice was torn to the very core. Life was not black and white after that, my eyes were torn coarsely open to the world of colour which I had hitherto been happily blind to. I wanted to buy every puppy which was thrust up against the car window, I wanted to strip off my clothes and hand them out to those wearing dusty rags, I dreamt of discovering miracle cures, creating genius inventions and even robbing banks, as my young mind battled against the idea that nothing could be done to help. For the life of me I could not understand why everyone had accepted this, nobody was doing anything.

All at once my martyr-like act of handing over the entirety of my pocket money to the RSPCA each week seemed like a feeble joke. (I am ashamed to say I have since revoked this small act of charity,

the donkeys will just have to wait).

Resolved upon this state of anger, the flock of women who crossed in front of the car, swathed puzzlingly in layers of beautiful cloth, distracted me. My tightly clenched fists loosened slightly as their proudly rounded bodies melted back into the crowds surrounding a market. A man was winning customers into his garish kiosk with loud song, his toothless grin irresistible. The vibrancy of the people was incredible, their bustle and noise and joy in life. I felt my anger slowly melt away as each day passed in Kenya, when I was pushed into the aisle of the church to dance with the rest of the congregation, their hands raised to the burning blue skies in boundless praise, when I watched the muscles of lions contract and release inches from the frail safety of a windowless vehicle, even when I was unceremoniously scrubbed

to within an inch of my life by my cousin’s laughing Ayah, Tina.

The way in which the people of Kenya face their daily adversities with such determination and zeal is something I have never quite been able to understand until this year, when my Uncle, a proud Kenyan, was shot at Westgate Mall. I could not comprehend why my family did not seek to escape a place where their lives were potentially in danger. I am not here to gossip or speculate about this event.

I was not there. What I will say, is that I am incredibly proud to be related to a people who represent strength in the face of evil, who dance in the smallest ray of light amongst such darkness. This is what lies at the very heart of Kenya’s soul, something which will never be destroyed or even diminished, and what makes it such a magical, magical place.

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ARTS

FOUNDER Arts

THE FOUNDER March 2014

Arts@thefounder.co.uk / @TheFounderArts

Music:

Sophomore Sophomore Slump, Slump, or Comebackor of the Year?

Comeback of the Year?

Why Foster the People got us pumped up with the release of their new second album Supermodel

Why Foster the People have got us pumped up with the release of their new second album Supermodel

BY SARA HUSSEIN MUSIC EDITOR

March 2014 seems like a fertile month ripening with both debut albums and new releases from well-established bands with the likes of the North London quartet Bombay Bicycle Club. Although The Founder had previously interviewed the band, there’s also another band that deserves worthy attention who are on the verge of releasing their second album-it’s Foster the People. Following their predecessor Torches, released in 2011, when ‘Pumped Up Kicks’ was one of the most overplayed songs of the year, three years later the band are back with new material from their second album Supermodel, including their first released single ‘Coming of Age’ and recent track ‘Pseudologia Fantastica’.

In a recent interview with singer/song writer Mark Forster, the frontman stated that he had spent a significant amount of time in the last three years travelling to Asia and Africa to detach from the hectic recording and touring routine.

Yet one can’t help but feel that there are some unrequited burdens that arose during the production of Torches three years ago. Is their second album a way for the band to put those burdens to sleep and pacify with them?

‘There were a lot things that were floating around in my head,’ said Foster, ‘so I travelled to some remote places…and spent some time alone doing some soul searching and then went into the studio with Paul Epworth, our

The Return of the

producer in Morocco, and started writing some ideas down.’ It is no surprise then that Supermodel is bound to have a personal and emotional touch, it can be seen an extension of their previous album but taking a innovative musical as well as lyrical approach at the same time. Also facing the most challenging task of all, that of exceeding the popularity of their key track ‘Pumped Up Kicks’ back in 2010, the stakes are high for the band and whether Supermodel is bound to deliver similar, if not better, responses is yet to be determined. Foster reassures us, ‘there’s some songs on there that are good bridges from our last record like ‘Best Friend’, I think fans of Torches are going to immediately connect to that

song, as well as the single ‘Coming of Age’. As for another potential Grammynominated track we cannot be so sure: ‘I can’t write the same song twice, I don’t even try’, says Foster.

Yet time spent away from the recording studio and visiting places around the world also promises a significant change in musical composition; a more natural sound rather than the fierce electro-pop in its predecessor, Supermodel is a record that has undergone a lengthy but more relaxed work process. It may be a change from what their debut album delivered but it would be unwise to cast it aside.

Supermodel is released on 14th March 2014.

Prince

BY MATT LA FACI Britain, we cannot ignore the signs. As the sky turns purple and grown men start sporting tiny moustaches and speaking in falsetto, it can only mean one thing.

The artist formerly known as Prince is back. With his new band 3RDEYEGIRL as backup, the legendary singer will embark on a highly secretive tour of ‘iconic venues’ in the nation’s capital. Details so far have been kept under wraps, with the singer only revealing at a press conference, at the home of British singer

songwriter Lianne La Havas house, that tickets for the shows will cost the measly sum of £10.

While nothing was confirmed in terms of dates or specifics, he did say he was interested in maybe playing smaller venues like Ronnie Scott’s, the Bag O’Nails Club and the Electric Ballroom in London, a venue he played later that night, performing in front of a crowd of around 100 in what he dubbed a sound check. All this comes after the

singer joined Twitter under the name @3RDEYEGIRL in August 2013 and released the single ‘Breakfast Can Wait’, with cover art featuring the comedian Dave Chappelle in his infamous impression of the star, a short while afterwards.

3RDEYEGIRL’s first album Plectrum Electrum has so far not been given a release date, but aside from featuring the aforementioned single it will also contain the recently released ‘PretzelBodyLogic’.

So far there is no indication of how long Prince will stay in the country, but you can only speculate that his low-key return might be in preparation for a triumphant headline slot at Glastonbury.

Either way there is no telling where he will pop up next, just keep a lighter in your pocket at all times, you never know when you might have to hold it aloft to the guitar solo in ‘Purple Rain’.

ARTS

THE FOUNDER March 2014

FOUNDER Arts

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Music@thefounder.co.uk / @TheFounderArts

Film:

What the

Oscars Got

BY RYAN LEE GREGORY FILM EDITOR The winners are in, the dust has settled, the selfies have all been uploaded Twitter and now is the time to reflect on the 86th Academy Awards. This article is intended as an overview of the big awards of the Oscars and to determine if the eventually winners were in fact deserving the much coveted golden figure and to cast an eye on any glaring errors and omissions that have come at the hands of the Academy.

Best Motion Picture of the Year

WINNER

12 Years a Slave (2013) Were They Right? Yes. The only thing that is really up for debate is whether 12 Years a Slave or Gravity deserved the honour more and although both films are startling different they are perhaps both equally worthy of the award. Really the only way that the Academy could have gotten this one wrong is if they had bestowed the best film award to anything other than 12 Years A Slave or Gravity.

Nevertheless for a brief period in the run up to the Oscars this seemed like a very real possibility as American Hustle appeared to be picking up a head of steam and consequently seemed to be currying favour with Academy members. Thankfully however common sense prevailed and we were saved from what would have most definitely been one of the biggest oversights in Oscar history.

Best Performance by an Actor in a Leading Role

WINNER

Matthew McConaughey for Dallas Buyers Club (2013) Were They Right? No. Taking nothing away from McConaughey’s magnificent performance as Ron Woodroof he was unfortunately, in my eyes at least, not the best actor of the previous film season.

There is certainly a case to be made for both Leonardo DiCaprio and Chiwetel Ejio for deserving the Best Actor award ahead of McCounaughey. DiCaprio has seemingly given up his crusade for the golden statuette and with The Wolf of

Right Wall Street he acts with a level of unhindered freedom that we had not yet seen and ironically results in perhaps his best performance to date. However with his turn as free man turned slave, Solomon Northup, Chiwetel Ejiofor was the stand out performance of the year as he delivers an extraordinarily subtle and introverted performance which is very rarely recognised by Academy voters and despite him being honoured at the Baftas he was always the underdog leading up to the Oscars and ultimately missed out on the Academy Award.

Best Performance by an Actress in a Leading Role

WINNER

Cate Blanchett for Blue Jasmine (2013) Were They Right? Yes. This one was the most clear cut of the big awards with Blanchett being a nailed on cert since the nominations were first announced on the 16th of January. If I was a betting man this would be the one decision I would have put my money on with the only semblance of a challenge to Blanchett’s crown coming from Gravity’s Sandra Bullock. There has been a criticism of the Oscars this year that the winners in the acting categories only won because the performances were better than the films in which they appeared and although you could certainly argue that with regards to Blue Jasmine where Blanchett’s performance as the eponymous Jasmine is what stands out most you should not discredit her as a consequence. The film revolves around the character of Jasmine and it is Blanchett’s towering performance which

carries the film and in less accomplished hands the entire film would have fallen apart thus for this reason Blanchett was commended, and rightly so.

Best Performance by an Actor in a Supporting Role

WINNER

Jared Leto for Dallas Buyers Club (2013) Were They Right? Yes. If you look through the history of Oscar winners you will see a trend of Academy voters awarding actors who undergo immense physical transformation for their roles. Because the dedication and the willingness to immerse into the character is right there on screen and blatant for all to see the Academy has a tendency to honour these parts over more internalized performances. However let this take nothing away from Leto’s mesmerizing turn as transgender AIDS victim Rayon as he is able to completely disappear into the character to such an extent that we never once question the performance or view the character of Rayon as just the lead singer of Thirty Seconds To Mars in stilettos. Therefore although Leto does go through a noticeable physical transformation for the role this is a very small part of it and the performance as a whole is so transformative, from the way Leto speaks to his overall mannerisms, until what remains is the character and the character alone.

Best Performance by an Actress in a Supporting Role

WINNER

Lupita Nyong’o for 12 Years a Slave (2013) Were They Right? Yes. Perhaps the big-

gest surprise of the Oscars (apart from 20 Feet From Stardom winning Best Documentary over The Act of Killing) with Jennifer Lawrence as the stand out favourite at the start of the night for her role in David O’Russell’s American Hustle losing out to 12 Years a Slave’s Lupita Nyong’o.

Despite going toe-to-toe with two powerhouse performances from Ejiofor and Fassbender Nyong’o’s turn as the enslaved Patsy still leaves a lasting impression and was a deserved winner at this year’s Academy Awards.

Best Achievement in Directing

WINNER

Alfonso Cuarón for Gravity (2013) Were They Right? Yes. Although Steve McQueen had a wonderfully masterful grasp on the significance of the subject matter and the story that he wanted to tell with 12 Years a Slave, Alfonso Cuarón is the right choice for the Best Director award. The 4 years of graft that went into the production and the revolutionary approach that he undertook to shoot Gravity just demonstrates how much of what makes the film magnificent is a result of Cuarón’s vision. It was the most directed film of the this year’s contenders and to do something as innovative and groundbreaking as what he had achieved with Gravity is a testament to what a great filmmaker he is and is therefore rightfully deserving of the Oscar.

Final Score: 5/6

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THE FOUNDER March 2014

FOUNDER Arts Arts@thefounder.co.uk / @TheFounderArts

Live Review:

Versailles

at Donmar Warehouse 18/3/2014

BY JASPER WATKINS Peter Gill’s Versailles arrives on stage as the world acknowledges the centenary of the outbreak of the Great War. The Treaty of Versailles was to set the world right again, an agreement, of course, decided by the victors in order to punish the Germans for a war they started.

Gill’s production isn’t as globally reaching but instead is an intense examination of a small group of people: the affected and the disaffected, the deluded and the disillusioned and the end result is both poignant and underwhelming.

Being of such enormous length Versailles was split between two intervals into three very distinct acts. The first act, like any play, introduces the audi-

ence to the small ensemble of characters.

However, when dramatic progression or some exciting digression was expected to materialise it did not and quickly the play turned into a Downtown Abbey like period drama complete with bawdy humour and stock characters like thatreally-indignant-Maggie-Smith-lookalike. The only redeeming feature of the first act was the introduction of the cleverly depicted appearances of Leonard’s (Gwylim Lee) deceased lover Gerald, played by Tom Hughes whose performance was charismatic and humorous throughout despite the banality of the opening act.

Act two meanwhile suddenly

enveloped the audience into the madness of post-war Paris; the single mindedness of the alluded to politicians and the frustration and disillusion of Gerald were exacerbated by the Donmar’s minute size. For the first time in the play the significance of the title matched the drama and importance of the stage. This act also saw Gill’s humour come into its own with naïve characters making passing comments which like ‘an independent Vietnam? Now I’ve heard it all!’, reflecting the real ignorance of the victors of post war Europe that Gill is so keen to point out. Gwylim Lee’s Leonard is the driving force of this act and the rest of the play, emotively challenging the

belligerence of his family and friends.

However, Gwlyim’s performance in the third act was like a bomb falling on a front that had long been abandoned. The play quickly regressed back into Austen like sensibility and introspection. Even an emotional flashback of Leonard seeing Gerald off before the war (their hidden love was one of the more touching aspects of the play) did little to dent the inane babble that seemed to engulf the production. While at times Gill’s play is poignant, insightful and humorous the long swathes of tedious dialogue detracted from the seriousness and significance that the Treaty of Versailles deserves.

The Aristocrats at The Garage London 17/2/2014

BY JOE BURNS The rock/fusion power trio The Aristocrats – featuring Guthrie Govan on guitar, Bryan Beller on bass, and Marco Minnemann on drums - are back on tour in support of their second studio album, Culture Clash, released last summer to serious acclaim.

The three players are all well known in their fields, especially Govan, who has built up a considerable and loyal following from his YouTube guitar tutorials and the release of his first solo album, Erotic Cakes, in 2006. But this is The Aristocrats, touring their sec-

ond album on Govan’s home ground.

Whilst each member has contributed three songs each to both albums so far, it almost felt like a one-man show. They begin with a notably aggressive version of ‘Furtive Jack’ from their first self-titled album.

Between each song preceded lengthy tales of their band formation, which served to add to the audience’s admiration.

The entire set came without muddy acoustics or any distracting array of guitar sounds. The audience could

purely listen to the three elements, drums, bass and guitars, all at once.

This is particularly valuable for the material in Culture Clash, that leap all over the place between sections of complex time signatures, changing lead instruments and elements of jazz, fusion, rock and metal. ‘Culture Clash’ was followed by ‘Flatlands’ from their first album, a distant, driving and melodic track that allowed everyone to have a breather.

Soon the wild personality of Marco Minnemann behind the kit

quickly took over introducing his song ‘Blues Fuckers’, in which he took a solo, before each member of the group took out a small rubber toy and began improvising with the various squeaks, squeals and screeches they all made. It appears this is a band not taking themselves too seriously.

In the coming months, The Aristocrats will move throughout mainland Europe with no future date set for England yet, but never mind, be sure to check out an album or two for now.

ARTS

THE FOUNDER March 2014

FOUNDER Arts

17

Arts@thefounder.co.uk / @TheFounderArts

Film Review:

nerdlocker.com

Need for Speed

BY RYAN LEE GREGORY FILM EDITOR

Based on the popular racing videogame Need For Speed follows ace street racer Tobey Marshall, played by Breaking Bad alumni Aaron Paul, who, after a stretch in prison following the death of his close friend, embarks on a quest for revenge against his ex-partner and wealthy businessman Dino, Dominic Cooper, who framed Marshall two years earlier.

2014 is not even a quarter of the way through and already we are treated to what may very well turn out to be the worst film of the year. Need For Speed is never really able to shake off the idea that it is based on a videogame as the film features no real characterization and moves from one driving set-piece to another all the while being strung together by a wafer-thin narrative that seems to only be a secondary concern

to the director who appears more interested in the stunts than anything else.

However this is no surprise as director Scott Waugh had cut his teeth in the world of stunt work before making the step up to directing with 2012’s Act Of Valor. This point is compounded by the fact that Waugh insisted all of the cast take stunt driving lessons prior to filming in order to ensure an authentic feel to the race scenes. Yet consequently because so much focus is aimed at the car chases and stunts Waugh is never fully able to get a firm grasp on the narrative which results in a story that is not engaging in any way and characters who are neither interesting nor believable.

In addition, fans of Breaking Bad will be moved to tears by Aaron Paul’s performance in Need For Speed, not be-

Album Review:

cause it resonates emotionally in any way, but because they must watch this once promising young actor potentially torch his career before their very eyes.

With Need For Speed Paul has seemingly undone all of the good work he had achieved in his phenomenal turn as stoner slacker Jesse Pinkman in the AMC drama series. However Paul cannot be blamed entirely for his dire performance. Not even the great Laurence Olivier could bring any sense of validity to the vomit-inducing and at times maddening dialogue that Paul and his co-stars are forced to recite.

On the plus side there is perhaps enough car porn present in Need for Speed to appease the Fast & Furious fanboys and petrol heads in the audience enough to prevent them from asking for their

money back. I, on the other hand, do not fall into either of these brackets and so there was very little in this film for me to enjoy and if it wasn’t for the fact that I had seen this film for free I would have probably asked for a refund, although I did still somehow feel ripped off. In fact Need For Speed is the kind of film that can only dream of the level sophistication and tongue-in-cheek self awareness that the Fast & Furious franchise boasts.

Therefore in summary Need For Speed does hardly anything of any merit in its 130 minute runtime, which is approximately 130 minutes too long, and does nothing to further the careers of anyone involved, in fact it does quite the opposite, and will leave you wishing you were watching Fast 5 instead.

Beck Morning Phase aaaa

BY THOMAS TOWERS Over the course of his career, Beck has explored folk, funk, soul, hiphop, country and psychedelia. He is undoubtedly one of the most creative and unique figures in alternative rock, and Morning Phase is his latest effort. According to Beck, the album was inspired by vintage ‘California rock’, with the likes of Crosby, Stills and Nash, Neil Young, and the Byrds.

These influences are evident through-

out and the album has a particularly melancholic touch. ‘Morning’ and ‘Heart is a Drum’ set the tone for the rest of the album: they are both gentle, dreamy compositions which attempt to put the listener in a haze. From here on, the album is filled with simple yet affecting melodies and the production is fantastic throughout. The album is also rich with orchestration. ‘Turn Away’ is filled with strings, and ‘Wave’

has a dreamy, ethereal quality, where Beck’s voice is complimented by a dark, haunting arrangement.

With this release, Beck has yet again demonstrated his versatility and singer-songwriter capabilities. It may be more conventional than Beck fans are used to - these songs are undoubtedly folk rock - but Morning Phase will stand as one of his greatest works.

spin.com

18

MONTY

THE FOUNDER March 2014

THE RESIDENT RACONTEUR

‘ Verily at the first Chaos came to be, but next wide-bosomed Earth, the ever-sure foundations of all the deathless ones who hold the peaks of snowy Olympus’ Hesiod, Theogony, the beginning bit, you cunts.

The Adventures of:

Montague ‘Fresh’ DeLarge - PART THE 14TH GENESIS. Through the mist of cocaine, incense and sex-steam I found the lips of the baroness and they tasted like absinthe. I was dimly aware of someone in the shroud taking my Priapus into their mouth. My formal hall robe slipped from my shoulders and to my waist. Founder’s Security had almost made it in. I could hear their empty voices behind the cavernous shaking of my door. When Aeneas left the Underworld he was presented with a gate of Horn and a gate of Ivory. Horn was true and Ivory false. The man of piety left through the gate of falsehood by his own volition. There is no piety and virtue. There are only baronesses and call-girls.

I’ve had my fun and it’s time to leave. A university is a place where the desperate go to learn how to be enlightened, and underneath every professor’s gown, there’s the same flaccid cock and shrivelled prostate. The grey tuft of a Regius professorship is distinguishable from the copper hair of a BA Hons only by colour.

And there are colours elsewhere.

With no Lily, there is very little Monty. And when the self has been so ravaged, it’s time for a rebirth. The old Monty died, and part of his life was being a student at Holloway. And so he had to die too. To philosophize is to learn how to die. To fuck is to learn how to live. This is Genesis.

It has taken weeks to plan Genesis. The idea first came to me at the funeral, as I delivered a speech, which rocked the tomb of Pericles himself. After that, I chased the idea in my dreams, for they are the most private of canvases upon which to paint, and on the few days I spent at Holloway before all was ready. Throughout the process, I rang the usual numbers.

The first number was the one of the man who does the reinforced doors and windows throughout Downing Street. Next, I rang the women. The Baronesses, the princesses, the daughters of MPs, and the sleuth of MILFs that con-

stituted the aged but glorious Mayfair dominatrixes that catered to all the closeted six-figure dungeonsluts of London who crave exposure to their most carnal desires but not to the headline of the Daily Mail. Finally, I made one very important phone call. I dialled one of those numbers that is dangerous to know and changes every day, and planned the closing flourish. I then sat that night in full black shroud, in mourning for the life that was about to close.

Genesis went active on the 13th March. I poured a trail of absinthe outside the door to my room. Inside were arranged flowers and grapes. I christened the absinthe outside my room as the Rubicon. I took off my clothes, put on my formal hall gown, and poured a glass of red as the women arrived. As each one crossed the Rubicon, they knew the resolve of the act and said ‘Alea iacta est’ as I had instructed over the phone. All the baronesses and call-girls of my old life, a sprinkling of princesses, and the lascivious daughters of dusty men locked away in Parliament congregated in my room, and it was glorious.

I had constructed a parade of gods. First there were the three sisters, royalty of some European shred of land, used to the ways of incest, dressed as the Gorgons. Once, beautiful women, the Gorgons were cursed to ugliness and monstrosity by the unrelenting gods. It was their job to lose their beauty as the night played on, until they were wideeyed banshees that would emerge from the orgy gloom in sudden bouts of brutality. My favourite dominatrix was Aphrodite, and around her stood Athene and Hera with bare breasts. An MP’s girl weaved the cocaine into elaborate lines on my mantelpiece, and I called her Penelope. There were the wild limbs of the Furies, all clad in leather. I myself played the part of Chaos, the great nothing that spawned all things; bracing themselves against one of the walls stood a row of seven call-girls with their flush buttocks in the air and seven women behind them

thrusting hard with strapons. This represented the seven arbiters of the underworld administering judgement to the dead. In a corner, piled with cushions for the gods and goddesses to take brief rest periods, sat a woman in funereal garb holding out an outstretched palm upon which were arrayed pomegranate seeds.

This constituted the Greek mythos, but Monty isn’t a whore for only one sequence of foundation myths. It would take the might of many dead empires to bring me down. I had the Roman pantheon amongst the sprawl of tight muscles and searching fingers and tongues, and I remember being caught between Minerva and Venus whilst a little Satyr played a lute and sang the song of his people. I had Adam and Eve, too, decorated with fruit as hungry serpentgirls fouled and fouled them, and at one point a minotaur, wild-eyed and mooing, joined me in the partaking of Penelope’s cocaine while a femme-Theseus conquered the creature from behind.

It wasn’t long before my heaving mass of celestial epiphany began to attract some attention from outside.

Security realised pretty quick their powers didn’t work here, in my sphere of the gods while I sailed down the Lethe towards total Phlegethon. As expected, the police arrived; with that, I increased the intensity of the orgy. Women in furs and wolf-masks burst from my wardrobe and beat us with crops and sticks. I was close to my epiphany. I was staring deep into the orgy of time as I found myself pressed up against sweet Penelope and her tapestry of drugs, and Chaos expended itself across all things ever made, all things ever thought, and all that had been; and deep within that great nothing was a growing new trajectory for my starward self, which I let play across the arc of my dying libation as the orgy overcame me, and, acutely decimated, I was lost in the swarm of unseated gods in pretty Pandaemonium. *

*

*

*

*

*

*

I didn’t talk to security or the police once they got hold of me. My rebirth had shaken Holloway to its foundations. There was structural damage in the building, and they assured me I was to be expelled (and my life ruined, apparently).

Because Monty never goes down without swinging a claret first, all the gods and goddesses managed to escape. The sun had risen on the next day and I was to be transferred to a room in a police station and have my life ruined soon. It was all over. I asked, bleakly, if I could go outside for a cigarette. They said yes, and two nice policemen went with me to make sure I didn’t run away.

I don’t smoke, but all actors need props, and I had these ready in my jacket the whole time. There were crowds of people screaming for the inclement royal visit and I could tell the policemen were nervous and wanted me to hurry up. As I lit the cigarette, the final signal in Genesis, I said, “Watch this.”

And the Queen’s car and cavalcade, the Royal trump itself, turned into Founder’s building, and her own security shouldered past the policemen as I’d asked them to in that phone call, and I was separated from the doom of law, and under the eyes of Layzell himself, I was funnelled toward one of those cars; my legs didn’t touch the ground, my head was pushed under the roof and no one was entirely sure what they’d seen and whether they’d seen it. And Queen Liz herself turned to me and said:

“Hello again, Monty. Where to next?”

There’s always a way to get out of something if you’re important enough and have a phone. My thanks to the Regius tradition to get me out of this one.

Goodbye, Holloway. May you never forget the glorious bastard who lightened your days, because I’ll remember you dearly, always.

LIFESTYLE

THE FOUNDER March 2014

FOUNDER Lifestyle

19

Lifeestyle@thefounder.co.uk / @rhulfounder

ALL WE HAVE is

BY SUSANNA DYE Today, over drinks with friends in Crosslands, try as we might, we couldn’t avoid the same-old conversation… ‘What do you want to do when you graduate?’, ‘What career do you want to pursue?’ and so on… We all have tunnel vision, making university education a means to an end rather than an enriching experience in itself. The whole student body is revving its engines at the starting line before zooming off into the rat race of the future. Over the last three years, I have sometimes become so preoccupied with what it is that I want to do after graduation that I have lost all focus and interest in my degree itself; in the long term, nothing could be more counterproductive. I can feel totally out of control of my life, directionless, highly selfcritical, confused about what I want to do… how I want to live… who I want to be… and doomed that anything I really want feels unrealistic and out of reach AAAGGH**#@~{:@##@@’!!!!!!.

- BREATHE - It affects me like a heavy weight on my chest, a pounding anxiety that leaves me constantly on the brink of tears. Let me clarify, I am not clinically depressed, just stressed. This is simply the way we are made to feel by our society.

Mindfulness is one way to help us process the pressures we place upon ourselves. I would describe it as a training of the mind (partly through meditation) to let go of judgemental thoughts and fears and become attuned to what is happening presently in the mind and body. I have been meaning to try out

NOW

meditation for a long time but, realistically, when I have a seemingly neverending list of work and chores to get through, sitting still is never going to take priority. Yet that is what Mindfulness is all about; sometimes it is important to just be rather than always to do.

Since I have been aware of it, I have increasingly noticed Mindfulness cropping up everywhere in the media and in medical sciences. The NHS now commonly prescribes it for patients suffering with depression and anxiety or stress related problems including addictions, eating disorders and sleeping disorders.

Like most things in life, I am discovering, happiness is actually quite hard work!! When I, eventually, did sit down with a Mindfulness audio guide (to lead me through my first meditation) I just couldn’t switch off. I felt fidgety, my hands craving to pick up my phone and check the time, Facebook messages, Instagram pictures… anything to distract me. This obsession to keep constantly updated is what’s actually disconnecting me from myself. I think that social media itself demonstrates why Mindfulness is so necessary today. We live in a world where people turn to the constant flurry of information from the internet and are no longer able to sit still and locate a sense of being and awareness within themselves.

For those, like me, who struggle to sit still, NHS Psychiatrist and Mindfulness practitioner Dr Felicity Hepper recommends other approaches. To be mindful is about fully living every mo-

ment: and can be applied to every day routines. Take cleaning your teeth. Normally our minds are frantically worrying about anything and everything that isn’t related to what we are actually doing now: cleaning our teeth. Mindfuness is about letting go of all these thoughts and “waking up a kindly curiosity about our experience unfolding moment to moment.” When was the last time you noticed the fresh taste of toothpaste or enjoyed the feeling of the brush on your gums? Don’t let these moments pass you by because they are there to be enjoyed.

One favourite that Dr Hepper recommends is the “chocolate meditation.”

Eating mindfully is about taking real pleasure from every mouthful and taking real satisfaction from eating. “Living mindfully,” Dr Hepper says “effectively adds years to our lives by waking us up to the here and now.”

What I love about this way of thinking is that it teaches you to be your own best friend. Dr Hepper stressed the importance of “compassion” in Mindfulness. We are all so good at telling ourselves we are not good enough. Mindful thinking is about “understanding that self-criticism and judgements are mostly just thoughts, harmful thoughts, and we would do better just to let them go.” I can see how these self-critical thoughts can be lethal in relationships: my relationship has been a rollercoaster and at its lowest points I’ve been tormented by the fear that there’s something wrong with me, that I’m not enough. However, getting hung up on these fears is only

going to cause damage. Mindfulness trains the brain to override these ‘critical voices’ so that they don’t colour our perceptions of ourselves and the people we know.

Modern living is only getting is more fast-paced. Yes, it’s exciting, but in a world where one can fix up a date with a stranger in mere seconds (by swiping right…) are we getting ahead of ourselves? I want to be able to make the most of now, not worry it away. Selfcritical thoughts get me nowhere. What I need is to appreciate what I have because, when I step back and take in the wider perspective, I realise that yes, I may be young, but my whole life isn’t ahead of me. We don’t know what awaits us in the future, but spending our lives worrying about things that are essentially out of our hands isn’t what life is about either. Nothing can be as rich or complete as this living moment right now.

If you are interested in approaching life Mindfully, I recommend franticworld. com where there are free meditations (including the chocolate meditation!) or bemindful.co.uk/.

There is also mindfulnessforstudents. co.uk/ which has lots of resources “to help you remain calm, sustain your attention, and be able to focus.” There is a wonderful introduction to mindfulness in by Tara Brach, www.tarabrach.com/ video/2011-09-14-Do-You-Pay-Regular-Visits.html

20

LIFESTYLE

FOUNDER Lifestyle

THE FOUNDER March 2014

Lifeestyle@thefounder.co.uk / @rhulfounder

A Different Kind of Spring Fling

BY MICHAELLA KOSSAKOWSKA As of late, we have had a small taste of what summer has to offer us in the foreseeable future. There soon will no longer be a need to outweigh the risks of getting your shoes wet from torrential rain or decide whether or not you will need to bring an umbrella out with you. We’re all looking forward to days spent sitting in the quad enjoying Pimms and finally showing some skin!

High street stores have already started stocking their spring/summer collections with trends, just to name a few, like cropped jackets, bomber jackets, shift tops, wide leg trousers, split maxi skirts, and colorful trainers lined up neatly on store racks and rails.

Even though we have seen the above trends for the past few years around this time of year, there are

some very outlandish trends designers have experimented with this season.

Designers like Alexander Wang and Victoria Beckham are showcasing contrasting lapels and crisp oxford shirts; in fact, never before has there been such an emphasis on the humble button-down shirt. You can wear this trend for the day with light wash ripped jeans and trainers or make it formal with a sports tuxedo (another huge trend this spring!). ‘Sport’ wear as formal wear can be seen as quite controversial when in contrast to penguin jackets and bowties.

With good enough weather, though, a light and sleek bomber jacket reminiscent of a blazer still manages to look sophisticated, even when paired with a pair of fresh, clean trainers- think New Balance and Nike Air Max’s.

Metallics make an even bigger comeback this season, especially in the shoe department. Iridescent platform trainers and even brogues that gleam in the sunshine can be found all over the high street stores such as TopShop, Zara, Office and Schuh.

Focus has also been on print this season, with two stand-out contrasting trends: firstly, Art Pop (seen at Louis Vuitton and Celine) which usually features some sort of bold strokes and paint splatters and, secondly, Geometric, with patterns reminiscent of ethnic and tribal prints. In order to wear these trends you can either go all out, committing to two pieces with the same print, such as a top and trouser or skirt combo, OR you can match a print item with a solid coloured piece, highlight-

ing the print in the garment of choice.

I cannot express the need for sunglasses enough, not just as an accessory but an overall necessity in these warmer months. Large circular sunglasses and highly reflective lenses are a goto in the accessories department. Some students are even accessorizing their sunglasses with chains to hang from.

It’s all about making a statement with spring and summer while staying fresh in the heat that is about to hit us all.

Interested in fashion and technology yet bored with online shopping? A new app called LASU is being developed to create a tailor made luxury shopping service for you. Like the page on Facebook : https://www.facebook.com/lasuapp

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LIFESTYLE

THE FOUNDER March2014

FOUNDER Lifestyle

21

Lifeestyle@thefounder.co.uk / @rhulfounder

WHY IT MATTERS THAT ‘KIMYE’ ARE ON THE COVER OF

VOGUE

BY ELEANOR MCCLOSKEY On Friday the 21st of March I was lucky enough to be at the Royal Opera House in Covent Garden, at the opening night of the ballet ‘Sleeping Beauty’.

It was beautiful and calming but I was immensely pleased when I could check my sleeping beauty of a phone in the interval, having planned many a witty tweet during the performance that I simply had to share. I was stopped in my tracks, however, by a text from a friend that had been sent a few hours before. It simply read: ‘Kim Kardashian and Kanye West are on the cover of Vogue’

Now, I don’t wish to sound dra-

There are numerous other things that I should be concerned about, and get upset about, but my first instinct was to clutch my friends arm beside me...

This was big. This IS big. matic. There are a countless number of important things that would have elicited the same response from my heart and my stomach should I have been texted about them. There are numerous other things that I should be concerned about, and get upset about, but my first instinct was to clutch my friends arm beside me so hard that she must have thought I was suffering from a painful cramp (we were in the stalls). This was big. This IS big.

I have never liked the Kardashians, particularly Kim. I struggle with the fact that she is so adored, when the only real reason that she is so well known is

a leaked sex tape and a 72 day marriage purely for television purposes and to raise her profile further. Her existence is justified by the men that she has been involved with, and I don’t see in any way, why we as the public, should find this reason enough to award her with the attention that she receives. There is no denying that she is beautiful, but I would bet my degree on the fact that she is unable to hold a stimulating conversation, and in my eyes, the latter is considerably more important than the former.

The family are cartoonish and excessive.

I find them nauseating and at the same time, cripplingly dull. They emulate everything I don’t like. Fame hungry, excessively wealthy but with a distinct lack of class, and a sense of entitlement which is completely unearned. They document their life through Instagram and their reality television programme; for the Kardashians, nothing is sacred.

This is all fine. There are always going to be people who’ll do anything for recognition, and I choose to ignore them. I make a concerted effort to avoid magazines and TV programmes that celebrate young men and women for doing absolutely nothing, like ‘Towie’ for example. I read Vogue and Tatler, magazines that champion intelligent, interesting, beautiful women who work immensely hard and reap the rewards.

I love fashion, and fashion journalism and I have always thought it to be quite clearly separate from the world that the Kardashians are almost Gods of. But a few weeks ago I learned that one of the Kardashian sisters walked for the Marc Jacobs show at New York Fashion Week, and I was appalled. It irritated me that this family was infiltrating the

world of high fashion, when they had brought nothing to the table. Fashion shouldn’t be about fame, because that is not the point of it. You go to a show to see the clothes and applaud the hard work of the designer, not the sister of a woman who has made her millions from selling herself to the media.

The news however that ‘Kimye’ had secured a Vogue cover (American Vogue, phew, Alexandra Shulman would never do such a thing surely) hit me a little harder. Not least of all because the fearsome editor Anna Wintour has made her feelings about Kim Kardashian quite clear in the past, by cropping her out of photos on Vogue. com etc. Quite plainly, a Vogue cover is an accolade, and while Kayne West is a very successful artist and is undoubtedly talented, I could make an educated guess that the Vogue readership in America probably doesn’t care about him all that much. They don’t care about Kim either.

I wouldn’t expect the legion of fans that so adore the Kardashian family to be the women who buy Vogue magazine.

It has been reported that there has been a significant number of subscriptions to the magazine being cancelled, and I don’t blame any of them. Fashion, and everything it represents, style, creativity, elegance, beauty, all with a sprinkling of aloofness, is completely separate from the world of media-hungry reality tv ‘stars’. The two cannot be merged as one requires talent.

Fashion is about exclusivity, and I don’t write that in a negative sense. Vogue sells a dream, one which we will never be able to permeate, and that’s okay. We aren’t supposed to be able to reach the dream, because it’s not

real. It’s a photo shopped wonderland, one that inspires and delights in equal measure. We do not pick up Vogue to see photo shoots with a plain Jane at a bus stop – that’s not what Vogue is for.

I adore Cara Delevigne as much as the next person, I think she’s possibly the most exciting model at the moment but there is something almost unfamiliar about how accessible she has made the world of fashion. With her millions of followers on twitter, and her vine videos of her strutting down the catwalk, it sometimes feels as though the mystery and privacy of models has gone. Kate Moss, for example, is a marvel and we

I find the self-deprecating, silly-selfie attempt at ugly pictures by models increasingly annoying.

You don’t have to pretend that you’re one of us. all love her. We don’t really know that much about her though. We will never be her friend, we rarely hear her speak, and yet she has countless Vogue covers to her name. She is the true definition of an icon, whereas because we are exposed to Cara Delevigne so much you sort of feel as if you know her. I find the self-deprecating, silly-selfie attempt at ugly pictures by models increasingly annoying. You don’t have to pretend that you’re one of us.

I noticed this morning that a meme of the Vogue cover had been knocked up, with Kermit the frog as Kanye and Miss Piggy as Kim. Needless

22

LIFESTYLE

FOUNDER Lifestyle

THE FOUNDER March 2014

Lifeestyle@thefounder.co.uk / @rhulfounder

Summer Ball.

What to Wear.

LOOK 3

LOOK 1

LOOK 2

BY ASHLEY STEPHENSON DEPUTY LIFESTYLE EDITOR

March 27th will see the release of tickets for RHUL’s Summer Ball. I’d recommend getting one; it’s fairly epic and sneaking in is super hard. At seventy pounds sterling a pop, it is slightly steep for a glorified SU night, but worth every penny once you get in there. For me, the ticket is irrelevant.

Parting ways with seventy pounds on a student budget does call for a bit of squeaky bum time, but harder is the choice of what to wear. Black tie can be difficult to dress for, some of us like extravagance, some of us can’t afford a tux, and some of us (HvZ) haven’t got a clue.

Here is a short guide of how to dress for the RHUL Summer Ball.

Firstly, the women of Royal Holloway tend to get it right, and all appear to be beautiful on the night, so my only advice is to avoid sharp heels, as you will sink into the ground.

Chaps, lads, boys, bros, please do not wear the same suit that you

wore to sixth form. We’re all adults now, so dress like it. That means trousers up around your waist, shirt tucked in, and top button done up- this isn’t Year Eleven. Speaking of Year Eleven, you know that suit you hired for your Year Eleven Prom? Well it looked shite.

I’m talking about the tacky weddingesque suit with a bright royal blue silk cravat and a matching waistcoat. However cheap that was to hire, you’d honestly look better in y-fronts and a pair of Ugg boots, so don’t wear that.

The following three looks, in my opinion, look great and can satisfy the needs of a student budget (they completely avoid the financial difficulty of actually buying a dinner suit).

Beauty is, of course, in the eye of the beholder, but when you’re right, you’re rarely wrong.

Disclaimer: All of these looks require you to have a decent pair of black suit trousers and a white shirt.

You should really have these anyway.

Look 1) Black on black on black.

A Velvet Jacket from Zara costs about £60, give or take. Get yourself a wellfitted black velvet jacket and pair it with your black trousers. Accessorize with a black dickey bow (self tie if possible) and a pair of red braces. The best shoes to wear with this look are black tasseled loafers, but regular black dress shoes will look equally good. Make sure the length of your trousers is such that they only just cover your ankle (you may need to iron in a couple of roll ups).

Look 2) Introduce some colour.

You can also get a coloured velvet jacket at Zara for the exact same price. If you’re looking to stand out from the crowd a bit, go down the coloured path.

Midnight blue, Burgundy, or Amber all look great with black trousers and a black bow tie. Choose your braces accordingly (i.e. don’t wear match them to

your jacket), or just go for simple black.

It’s important to note at this point that belts aren’t an option for black tie; always go for a pair of braces. If you’re aiming to be bang on trend, go for a green velvet jacket.

Look 3) See you Jimmy!

Remember that black velvet jacket you got in look 1? Well get that. Then head to Brick Lane and scan the vintage shops for a well-fitted pair of tartan trousers; they have plenty so it shouldn’t be too hard. Whilst you may not be Scottish, and there’s a chance someone will cry about it, tell them to go and stuff themselves, because you’ll look great. Failing that, just pretend that you are Scottish and that this is ‘your family tartan’. Again, white shirt, black bow tie, and black braces to go with this outfit. If you’re feeling adventurous, throw in a pair of black and white brogues.

THE FOUNDER March 2014

FOUNDER Sport

SPORT

23

Sports@thefounder.co.uk / @TheFounderSport

Paddy Power’s Poor Odds Sports Editor, Stan Eldridge reports on Paddy Power’s morally questionable bet-taking on the outcome of a drawn out tragedy

http://gregcantyfuzion.com/

‘It’s Oscar Tine’: The Paddy Power advert that offered money back if Pistorius ‘walked’

BY STANLEY ELDRIDGE SPORTS EDITOR

There’s a 150,000/1 chance I will die tomorrow. This isn’t taking into account my fundamental, unchangeable status as a white (dare I say it, middle class) male in the Western Hemisphere, it’s a simple fact. Based on statistics I, you, any one of us could die tomorrow and 150,000/1 represents tasty odds for any betting-dandy with the nose for a quick earner. One pound, just one solitary quid could give you enough money to buy a house; not in Egham, Christ no, but somewhere. It doesn’t matter whether I expire naturally, take my own life or fall victim to the unavoidable hand of death; you’ll make a killing. Who fancies a flutter?

Paddy Power is the Irish Betting franchise which boasts online services and hundreds of stores across the UK and Ireland. It was crowned as one of the UK’s most admired companies in 2011. Theoretically, after thorough reading of terms and conditions, you could

walk into a Paddy Power store tomorrow and place a free bet on anything.

You could bet on a number of factors, even I’m sure, the precise date when someone might shuffle off their mortal coil.

Gambling is a shady and deceptively lucrative science; the people who profit from it are experts. The moral implications of a football score are of course dwarfed by those involved with staking money on the outcome of someone’s life. Still, I’m sure you could do it.

Recently however Paddy Power decided to openly publicise a bet they had concocted themselves concerning someone’s intimate affairs, affairs which were undeniable matters of life and death: The Trial of Oscar Pistorious.

Oscar Pistorious the paralympian Gold Medallist is currently on trial for the murder of his late partner Reeva Steenkamp. Paddy Power hedged the odds of a guilty verdict for

Pistorious at 11/10 Guilty and 4/6 for Not Guilty. The jurors could be rolling in it, if only the Paddy Power website had left their opportunity intact. After rapid and rightful condemnation from all over the world accusing Paddy Power of a sick marketing ploy, the betting firm removed the bet.

The outrage is unquestionably justified and the situation only reaffirms the messy way in which money tends to eschew, you know, human morality. In fact, Paddy Power’s attempt to profit from a woman’s death who cannot speak out has bent their moral compass so out of whack I’d be surprised if they found their way to the World Cup. How did they think they would get away with such an outrageous proposition? While I’m sure gambling addicts with Dollar signs scarred on their eyeballs could see nothing but numbers and outcomes, the rest of us were bound to notice. Did they think the sport-minded among us

would lazily allow our synapses to connect sports betting and a case involving a sportsman with an accepting wink?

What sickens deepest is that with such an audacious advert Paddy Power were apparently trying to be ever so slightly funny. Well it isn’t funny, and the gesture forces the insipid lad culture of sport further into the mire. Why not shove Steenkamp’s saucy modelling shots under a headline reporting her murder while they’re at it? Which, I would point out, the majority of the red tops did following Steenkamp’s death.

Sport, the games, the playground behaviour has to end somewhere, and Sport certainly doesn’t give license for half-educated morons to trample over graves of the departed.

Sport culture has to grow up and cease the treatment of tragedy as fair-game, where a joke and a win are pursued at any cost, even when immorality supplants humour.