The Founder - Volume 7, Issue 5

Beyoncé...Arcade Fire...Kimye.

What else will 2013 hold for music?

Ten Best New Year’s Resolutions Which Won’t End In Failure And Leave You Feeling Like Crap, p. 10

flickr/Reneé S.

Yo yo yo, I’mma let you finish, but page 21 of The Founder is the best Music editorial of all time. OF ALL TIME.

flickr/mp3waxx

thefounder

free!

Volume 7 | Issue 5 Tuesday 15 January 2013 thefounder.co.uk

the independent student newspaper of royal holloway, university of london

Surrey Businessman Armed Iran Peter Hammond News Editor

Who are the ‘diggers’? And whatever happened to Brunel’s Runnymede campus?

Thomas Seal Editor

Resident of Surrey and successful businessman Christopher Tappin, 66, has pleaded guilty for exporting batteries used for surface to air missiles to Tehran. Caught by an FBI operation which began over five years ago, he now faces sentencing in Texas.

Originally facing 35 years imprisonment, his plea bargain with the American prosecution has seen the sentence reduced to roughly 33 months. This notable reduction comes after his, and his associates’, increased cooperation with the ongoing investigation. Having struggled against a controversial extradition to the United States of America, prosecutors there have agreed that his sentence may be carried out in Britain.

The vast majority of defendants in the US justice system arrange plea bargains to reduce the likelihood of a harsh sentence and demonstrate regret for past actions.

The batteries in question were reportedly for Hawk missiles, which

»

continued on page 2...

A

fter a treacherously muddy walk down Cooper’s Hill Lane, past the Air Force Memorial and Kingswood Hall (see map inside), I find a group of 20 or so tents and improvised structures built into the hillside, surrounding three large communal buildings. Each building is unique, some built into the hillside itself, and some even with solar panels and double-glazed windows.

The ground is waterlogged, but furrows crisscross the site in an attempt at drainage. I find two of the central figures, Simon and Gareth, building a ‘bender’ in which to store wood out of the rain. They introduce me to a man called Vinnie who, with a muddy handshake, proceeds to take me on a tour of the site.

Who are these people? They call themselves ‘Diggers’, after a group of Protestant English dissenters who in espoused a revolutionary form of agrarian communism back in 1649.

They have also adopted the original seventeenth century moniker

»

Photo: Thomas Seal

continued on page 3...

Comment & Debate

The World in 2043 TOBY FULLER and PETER HAMMOND envisage a return to empire, with Tsar Harry at its helm...

Why don’t we have gay marriage yet?

7»

HARRY HIGHTON provides an insight into the issue.

8»

Features

Film

Minimum Alcohol Pricing

Top 5 Underrated American Comedies

Investment and Finance Soc. President SYLVIA BEVAN breaks bad news to fans of Special Brew.

HARBEN LETS your oldest and largest private landlord

your oldest and largest private landlord www.harbenlets.co.uk 07973 224125

12»

JACK GREGSON tells us what we’ve been missing out on.

25»

HL HL

2

The Founder | Tuesday 15 January 2013

The Founder The Independent Student Newspaper of Royal Holloway, University of London Email: editor@thefounder.co.uk

thefounder.co.uk

Location of Eco-Village (see story overleaf)

Th

For the latest news, reviews, and everything Holloway, get online

an e d M Th ag am na Ca es r ta sit e

Check out our website For all of our paper content, and even more: thefounder.co.uk Follow us on Twitter The Founder tweets all the latest breaking news and stories here: twitter.com/rhulfounder Like us on Facebook Like us on Facebook and you’ll get our latest news, updates and polls in your news feed: facebook.com/TheFounderNewspaper

Please recycle this newspaper when you are finished Recycling bins are located at: Arts Building, The Hub, Gowar and Wedderburn Halls, T-Dubbs

Ec

o-

Vi ll

ag

e

tf editorial team Editor-in-Chief Thomas Seal

Managing Editors Toby Fuller, Scott Wilson, Peter Hammond and Richard Cunningham News Editors Peter Hammond

Arts Editor Scott Wilson

Comment & Debate EditorSport Editor Toby Fuller Theo Chiles Features Editor Felicity King

Pictures Editor Amy Taheri

Film Editor Zlatina Nikolova

Subeditor Alexandra Ioannou

Music Editor Katie Osmon

Lead Designer Thomas Seal

This edition designed by Amy Taheri, Thomas Seal and Zlatina Nikolova

The Founder is the independent student newspaper of Royal Holloway, University of London. We distribute at least 4,000 free copies every fortnight during term time around campus and to popular student venues in and around Egham.

The views expressed in this publication are those of the author and not necessarily those of the Editor-in-Chief, especially of comment and opinion pieces. Every effort has been made to contact the holders of copyright for any material used in this issue, and to ensure the accuracy of this fortnight’s stories.

Run n Cam ymede pus

For advertising and sponsorship enquiries, please contact the Business Director: advertising@thefounder.co.uk Web www.thefounder.co.uk Email editor@thefounder.co.uk

Want to write for thefounder?

No problem! Just get in touch!

RHUL

wo

s ng Ki

ll Ha d o Google Maps

The Founder is printed by Iliffe News and Media No part of this publication is to be reproduced, stored on a retrieval system or submitted in any form or by any means, without prior permission of the publisher

continued from front page...

Iran is known to have experimented with in the past. In 2010, the year of Mr. Tappin’s arrest, Iran announced their intentions to redevelop their permutation of the Hawk.

Mr. Tappin, who until his extradition last year was president of the Kent County Golf Club, has been sentenced to 33 months in an American prison. He will return to serve the remainder of his sentence in Britain in an undetermined number of months.

The father is currently away from his two children and his wife of 30 years, Elaine, who suffers from the chronic illness Churg-Strauss Syndrome. He has sold his Kent estate to pay for legal fees and has already paid a $11,000 (£7,000) fine.

Tappin has since described his decision to plea guilty in El Paso, after previous protestations of innocence, and that he was ‘not a terrorist’, as ‘pragmatic’, in order that he might return to the UK as soon as possible.

However, Isabella Sankey, director of ‘Liberty’, claims that Tappin may ‘still spend years in a Texan jail awaiting trial, thousands of miles from his home and sick wife.’

The Independent

Christopher Tappin, international arms dealer.

3

The Founder | Tuesday 15 January 2013

News | In-depth report

‘Land and Freedom’: Communism in Englefield Green continued from front page... the ‘True Levellers’, whose manifesto can be found in the treatise ‘The True Levellers Standard Advanced’, by Gerrard Winstanley.

They believe the UK’s system of property rights is exploitative and, in response, a group fluctuating between 15 and 30 revolutionaries have created what they call an ‘eco-village’ at the base of the Runnymede campus vacated by Brunel University in 2007.

They have now been living there for over 6 months, since early June 2012.

The ‘village’ includes a working well, which Vinnie informs me was inspected by the council and declared as ‘cleaner than tap water’, and planted crops, in a wholehearted attempt at self-sufficiency.

My guide, Vinnie, is a builder hailing from the East End who, after traveling the world for ten years (including a stint living in the mountains of Thailand), has found his skills in constant demand at the eco-village, where everything is hand-built from scavenged materials.

The Diggers are comprised of people from a miscellany of backgrounds, including workers like himself, university graduates, and even couchsurfers from the continent. Vinnie has finally settled here, explaining to me that ‘the world makes us addicted to money. It’s lonely. But in a way, this place saved my life. Now I’m living my dream.’ Remarkably, he has lived for three months on just £30, only infrequently spending it on tobacco.

Whilst damning his previous life, Vinnie gestures towards the valley and the imposing horizon, completely dominated by those grey be-

hemoths of civilization and ‘progress’: Heathrow Airport and Slough. In the lowest part of the Thames Valley, one can also see the land on which the King John signed the Magna Carta just two years short of 800 years ago.

He signed away some of the monarchy’s stranglehold on property rights, and the document also attempted to prevent the ‘over-exploitation of a ward’s properly by his warder’. It is such exploitation that concerns today’s Diggers.

The original Diggers planted vegetables in the ‘common land’ of Surrey in 1649, sending out an open invitation to all to ‘come in and help them’, promising ‘meat, drink and clothes’ (somewhat reminiscent of Lenin’s 1917 promise of ‘land, bread and peace’). This took place on the land of the Lord of Cobham, which is just 15 miles from the current ‘Diggers2012’ site in Englefield Green.

However, the new Diggers have not achieved such total self-sufficiency yet. I am told that much of the communal food is, in the style known as ‘freeganism’, reclaimed from restaurant and supermarket skips. ‘I thought I was gonna starve here,’ confides Vinnie. ‘Not a chance. Four course dinners. I’m learning to cook for 20.’

Although lots of people had left the site for Christmas and New Year, a few of the people I met had just returned, and were busying themselves creating walkways from palettes and slabs of concrete, to avoid constantly trudging through ground made swamp-like by a year the Met Office has declared the UK’s second wettest on record. Some were even moving their homes piece-by-piece further up the hill to avoid the mire.

Persons Unknown’ for the whole 200 acre Runnymede Estate. However, after three Diggers objected to the sweeping breadth of this injunction, Slough County Court revoked the section of the measure against ‘Persons Unknown’.

The Diggers explicitly claim ‘it is not and has never been our intention to setup (sic) an eco-village on the open National Trust land at Runnymede,’ as its constant care and maintenance - unlike the Runnymede campus - disqualifies it from their category of ‘disused land’.

‘‘I thought I was gonna starve here,’ confides Vinnie. ‘Not a chance. Four course dinners. I’m learning to cook for 20.’’

Photos: Thomas Seal

The land has passed through the hands of multiple property developers, the most recent of which - ‘Orchid Runnymede’ - has attempted to evict them from the site with paid bailiffs three times. After one of these evictions, they were found to have left three tents on ground owned by the National Trust, who swiftly proceeded to obtain a ‘Vacant Possession Order’ against the ‘Diggers2012 and

The campus itself was originally sold by Brunel University to the ‘Oracle Group’ in May 2007, but they did nothing with the land and were liquidated in June 2010. The land was then purchased by ‘Orchid’, who have proposed a £150m property ‘phasing’ development, totalling 475,000ft of living space, comprising 528 rooms of student accommodation, 104 new homes (28 of which are affordable housing) and 59 extra-care apartments. In addition to this, it is proposed that the listed architecture on the site will be refurbished. The ‘masterplan’ development is led by architectural firm John Thompson and Partners, with input from four other firms.

Runnymede Council told The Founder that planning permission has been granted, revised, and is now available on their website. However, despite these plans being signed and approved in November 2011, it appears no development has yet taken

place on the site.

After a thorough tour of the ecovillage, I decide to take a look at the abandoned campus itself. I am taken aback; some of the architecture comes close to rivaling that of Founder’s building. The buildings are listed by the government, but many verge on being dilapidated.

A beautiful 1914 art nouveau fresco is left tragically flaking onto the sodden ground, and a peek inside the windows reveal some of the interiors themselves are flooded and overgrown. Several pieces of furniture are discarded to rot outside, and others have been taken by the Diggers. If Orchid Runnymede are ever to refurbish these buildings, it will be a demanding job indeed.

After being home to a century of students from Shoreditch College of Education and later Brunel University, the site is clearly falling apart. This is made more disheartening by thje knowledge that he ‘President’ and ‘College’ Halls of the campus were designed by Sir Matthew Digby Wyatt, most famous for his work on London’s Paddington railway station, and chief architect to the man for whom that university was named, Isambard Kingdom Brunel. For the last few years it has just used for sporadic film shoots and police dog training.

I note the abundance of guard dog signs stuck to the buildings, but Vinnie reassures me we are safe, revealing a huge ten-inch knife attached to his belt. However, after half an hour’s exploration, I decide it’s not worth having my leg savaged, and head back to the land of conventional, rented property.

However, as I leave, an old man with a ponytail of white hair, wearing a beige, threadbare jumper walks past me. I ask him what he knows of the site, and he tells me his mystical but unhelpful opinion of ‘Orchid Runnymede’: ‘You know the thing about the orchid flower? It lives off other vegetation; it’s a parasite, man.’

Photos: Front page: Runnymede campus rugby field, Above: the eco village, Far above: 1914 fresco, Right: noticeboard in kitchen, including ‘skipping’ and ‘being nice to each other.’

4

The Founder | Tuesday 15 January 2013

News

tf Dates for your diary: UKIP Leader and MEP Nigel Farage speaks for PIRSoc, 21st January Defense Secretary and local MP Rt. Hon. Philip Hammond speaks for PIRSoc, 25th January Societies, Media and RAG Ball, 9th February ‘Rope’, Drama Soc., 2nd-5th March ‘As You Like It’, Shakespeare Soc., Week 9

If you’d like The Founder to advertise or cover your event, just contact the Editor at editor@thefounder.co.uk.

‘More rooms for societies!’ demands online petition In response to ongoing frustration by student societies, an online petition has been started to demand RHUL free up more rooms for its students.

Just 112 people have signed it so far, but this includes a host of society presidents, SURHUL exec members and VPComCam Jamie Green, who

signed ‘Our University, Our Rooms.

Simple’.

Other comments include the accusation that ‘the university prioritizes money making functions over the well-being of students,’ as well as the frustrated comment ‘trying to dance in small rooms is not legit!!’

This follows the remarkable success of another online student petition, by SU Englefield Green Rep Rustam Majainah, which demanded Runnymede Council to expedite building a pedestrian crossing over the A30, and has received over 1,000 signatures.

SU Ents Officer resigns but survives vote of No Confidence as NUS Delegate Dan Heley found himself in hot water at the end of last term as certain comments he made during a debate for a motion ‘against anti-choice harassment outside abortion clinics and on campuses’ at the GM on 4th December offended a significant portion of the hall, allegedly including the claim that ‘as a Student Union you have no jurisdiction over my morals.’

Faced by pressure and harsh criticism, Heley resigned from his position as Entertainments Officer, announcing his decision in a post on facebook (which he has since removed) and then deactivating his twitter account with the explanation that he is ‘tired of the trolls’.

A motion of no confidence was proposed to remove him from his other elected position of NUS Delegate but, despite a surprisingly high attendance of approximately 50, the emergency GM holding the vote on the final day of term (14 December) failed to reach quoracy.

Two weeks later Heley, who is also President of RHUL Labour Soc., restarted his twitter account, accusing his primary critics in RHUL Feminism Soc. and the Anti Cuts Alliance of ‘libeling’ him. However, he has also posted the following apology: ‘In my speech I did not mean to give the impression that I will not vote at NUS Conference in line with SU policy, at

the same time that does not mean I cannot oppose any motion at a GM in line with my beliefs. I will vote in line with SU policy as it stands prior to the conference. Secondly, I have never said and never will say that I oppose all forms of abortion, as I believe there are circ[umstance]s where an abortion is justified. Thirdly I think it is unjust to be slandered as misogynistic or similar for holding a different set of ideas as someone else, I am entitled to my opinion as much as any individual by all means criticise the opinion, but the opinion is very different from the person. If I have caused upset I apologise, however that often comes with disagreement.’

City life could mean disease immunity Chrissie Ambrose

A study conducted by Royal Holloway and University College London has revealed that living in the city could actually nurture immunity against harmful diseases.

Research by Dr Ian Barnes from the School of Biological Sciences at Royal Holloway and Professor Mark Thomas from the Department of Genetics, Evolution and Environment at UCL showed that a genetic variant that reduces the chance of suffering from tuberculosis and leprosy is more

prevalent in people whose ancestors lived in densely populated areas.

Theories of human evolution, most notably On the Origin of Species

by Charles Darwin, suggested that past exposure to harmful pathogens leads to resistance to diseases, which is passed on through the genetics of ancestors to descendants. This new research, funded by the Natural Environment Research Council and the Arts and Humanities Research Council (Centre for the Evolution of Cultural Diversity) and published in the journal ‘Evolution’, analysed samples from seventeen different populations across Europe, Asia and Africa. They also looked at the historical literature and archaeological evidence to find the oldest recorded data of urban settlements in the regions studied. By cross-referencing the two, they found that areas with a longer history of urban settlements were most likely to be home to inhabitants with DNA that possessed the gene that resists infection.

Dr Barnes described their findings as “an elegant example of evolution in action. It flags up the importance of a very recent aspect of our evolution as a species, the development of cities as a selective force. It could also help to explain some of the differences we observe in disease resistance around

the world.” According to the Royal Holloway website, the “results show that the protective variant is found in nearly everyone from the Middle East to India and in parts of Europe where cities have been around for thousands of years.”

Historically, poor sanitation and overcrowding made cities an ideal place for disease to thrive. Tuberculosis was common in deprived areas of Victorian London: it is thought that as many as one in four deaths were a result of the disease. This new research suggests that the people who survived to the disease then are likely to have passed on the protective allele to their children, giving resistance from the disease their modern day descendents as well.

The study has received widespread agreement and approval from peers in the field. John Odling-Smee, an evolutionary biologist at the University of Oxford agrees. "This study could be regarded as the tip of the iceberg" in terms of the effects of urbanisation on disease immunity, he claims.

This new study is yet more evidence to show how Royal Holloway, in partnership with the University of London, is a key contributor to up and coming research that helps shapes modern thinking about the spread of disease.

flickr/_JJGNOK

5

The Founder | Tuesday 15 January 2013

News

RAG Jailbreak event comes to Holloway Jasmine Ward RAG is proud to announce that we will be hosting Jailbreak: Get Away From Holloway as our main event in RAG Week 2013! Following the success of last year's Jailbreak which raised an incredible £6,000 we anticipate this year to be hugely popular and exciting.

Are you fed up with Egham? Jailbreak gives you 36 hours to get as far away from Royal Holloway as possible using only your charm and persuasive skills, but no money! So how far can you get? Last year teams got all the way to Amsterdam, Paris and Hungary, but other universities have reached as far as New York. Each

team must be made up of 2-4 and you need to fundraise a mere £50 per person to take part. This year, Jailbreak will be in aid of our three RAG Week Charities: Mind, ActionAid and Rainbow Trust Children's Charity. It’s a brilliant opportunity to raise money for charity and have a free crazy holiday abroad. We will also be giving out awards for the most intrepid explorers and biggest blaggers etc at our Jailbreak Completion Party.

The Information Meeting will be held in the week beginning the 14th of January, so watch the facebook event or the RAG section on the SU website for the time and location to be confirmed. It is vital you attend this meeting to take part in Jailbreak as the sign-up information will be

flickr/jimmedia

launched and places are limited. If you aren't sure and just want to get a bit more information we will also be answering all your questions there.

For any general RAG questions about RAG week and getting involved, please always feel free to email ragchair@su.rhul .ac.uk. We would love to get as many people involved as possible!

tf Got an anonymous tip?

If you have information about something and think people need to know about it, contact The Founder at either

editor@thefounder.co.uk or

newsdesk@thefounder.co.uk

LOOKING FOR A ROOM OR HOUSE TO RENT?

ACCOMMODATION FOR STUDENTS & POSTGRADS IN ENGLEFIELD GREEN & EGHAM

STUDENTSONTHEGREEN.CO.UK

07922 285 845

ARE YOU A LANDLORD WITH A PROPERTY TO RENT IN THE AREA?

PLEASE CONTACT US OR CHECK OUR WEBSITE TO SEE HOW WE CAN HELP

6

The Founder | Tuesday 15 January 2013

News | Editorial

The Euro in 2013 Peter Hammond News Editor

With the Eurozone crisis firmly in the minds of politicians and voters alike, the New Year for the EU holds the potential for much promise. The United Kingdom's position within the EU has grown ever more precarious, with uncertainty surrounding its continued membership.

The Conservative Party's continued air of Euro-scepticism has worried other European leaders, especially Angela Merkel, the Chancellor of Germany. In the past, Germany has cemented allies with monetary aid to affirm compromise. However, with a large proportion of last year's bailouts being financed by Germany, Merkel can no longer use this as a bargaining tool. The most recent schism between the two nations occurred in December following a disagreement over cuts to the EU's newest spending framework. Cameron demanded an additional â‚Ź120 billion be added to the budget cut, furthering concerns about his motives. The worry from European leadership pertained to Cameron's apparent desire to placate his domestic governmental colleagues with a more aggressive stance.

However, despite this apparent fracture, the Euro survived another tough year of debt and cuts.

The Greek credit rating has even been raised to B-, an assurance that it will remain in the Eurozone for the foreseeable future. Additionally, firm intentions have been made for leaders to meet in June in order to propose and implement internal structural reforms for greater economic stability. Even more surprising is the appearance of funding to aid less economically-able countries in their transitions. With prior reluctance to provide more handouts from larger states this is certainly a positive sign.

Furthermore, the European Central Bank's president pledging to prevent the dissolution of the Euro at any cost, a die hard attitude for European preservation seems to have gripped the executive. This declaration comes in spite of the ECB's forecast of economic recovery only in the latter half of 2013. Mindful of a continued rise in unemployment in Spain, Italy and Greece, a greater reliance will be placed upon the EU's reluctant bankrollers.

In terms of feared fragmentation of the Union, opting out seems a more likely prospect than ever. With the UK's position within the EU remaining a subject of heated domestic discussion, the notion of a national referendum on continued membership is becoming a reality.

Were this to occur, it would be in the interests of the current government to push through the refer-

endum sooner rather than later, in order to avoid any further economic turmoil. A realisation of the United Kingdom Independence Party's policy on leaving the EU has led many to believe in an alignment of its goals with that of the coalition David Cameron has been quick as of yet to dissuade any such ideas.

It is the business minds of Britain who have warned Mr Cameron against leaving the EU. Not only do the members of the EU constitute roughly 50% of Britain's trade, but it is feared that much tax revenue would be forfeited by leaving; nearly ÂŁ25 billion in total.

Considering the already hard times faced in the last year, positive thinking for the future of the EU remains hard for its leaders. However, the first signs of steps in the right direction for a more egalitarian Europe are emerging. The consideration for smaller, less economically stable countries is one which encourages a more affluent and cooperative EU in the long term. In order to confirm this, two

things must happen this year. First, the wealthier members must be willing to lend more financial support for the promotion of internal stability. Second, Britain’s intentions must be made clear in 2013. To stall any more would risk economic isolation and decline for the small island in the North Sea.

European Space Agency

The Founder | Tuesday 15 January 2013

tf Comment

&

7

Debate

The World in 2043: Global Politics in 30 Years A joint editorial on key regional prospects for the future, prophesised by Peter Hammond and Toby Fuller.

America

TF: The continent will be the next world superpower with Imperator Tony Blair at the helm, based in the rural Belgian village of Craaienhof.

Domestic policy will be centred on tackling the rising issue of British separatists, whilst internationally focussing on European Sandal Exports (ESE).

TF: In 2032, the concept of logic was introduced to the region. All problems were subsequently resolved.

Africa

TF: In 2019, Idi Amin’s illegitimate child will take power of all of Africa, PH: Europe will be a federal state and Uganda in particular. His title ruled in a traditional democratic shall be, ‘His Excellency, President bicameralist style. However, Britain’s for Life, Field Marshal Al Hadji feudal reimplementation of Hadrian’s Doctor Graham Amin Dada, VC, Wall leaves them isolated from a DSO, MC, Lord of All the Beasts of modern Europe.

Europe is on the the Earth and Fishes of the Seas and TF: In 2021, Boris Johnson took full brink of war with America followConqueror of the British Empire in advantage of his American citizening a disagreement on the renamAfrica in General and Uganda in ship and became President of the ing of the Pacific Ocean.

(Tomayto/ Particular’.

United States. His policy will be Tomato). based around restoring America’s PH: Gaddafi’s plan of introducing a status as a British colony and repan-African gold standard currency Europe building the ‘special relationship’ was realised in 2028, and following a with Tsar Harry’s Russian kingdom. dramatic redistribution of wealth AfDespite this success, the region will rica has assumed the role of Norway be slightly inconvenienced as Canada in the world. Not only have healthfreezes over due to global warming. care and education taken political precedence, but their exemplary PH: Realised it was a weird place.

Alternative Voting ensures their Everyone moved to the moon for unerring status as the world’s most normality. democratic continent.

Just read something you completely disagree with?

Want to let us know why?

If so, don’t hesistate to let us know with a piece between 400800 words at:

comment@thefounder.co.uk

PH: Following the expiration of all fossil fuels, foreign interest declined massively in the region. Once external influence had been removed, warring countries and factions resolved their issues with ease. Perhaps the most fun-loving region on the planet, it holds true liberal views as proposed by Kant years before.

The Middle East

Asia

TF: After being deposed by the European Revolution, the British Royal family asserted their claim to the Russian throne. Tsar Harry will rule his empire with benevolence and glory, continually seeking to reclaim his rightful rule of Britain and all of her overseas territories and dominions. On the other hand, the installation of the Dalai Lama as the ruler of the People’s Republic of China will lead to a tyrannical and despotic rule over the rest of the region.

PH: As the unsustainable growth of China flat lined in the 2030s, a revolution saw the introduction of true Communism to the country. Shirking off its prior capitalist tendencies, China granted free energy to all surrounding states. Mongolia becomes a casino capital, and many of the old European playboys (expelled postrevolution) take residence there.

&

8

The Founder | Tuesday 15 January 2013

tf Comment Debate Backbenchers against the Wall?

Harry Highton

They are entitled to equal rights as to marriage, during marriage and at its dissolution.’ n the 21st Century, in a country Should a bill introducing equal that is championed as one of marriage rights come to Parliathe most socially liberal in the ment, it will be on the shoulders of world, where any citizen can receive our right honourable members that free health care, register to vote, and the decision rests. On the Coalirun for political office, there is still a tion for Equal Marriage’s website, minority community that is denied of the 649 MPs who are eligible to one basic human right. That minorvote on bills in Parliament, 305 are ity is the lesbian, gay, bisexual, and predicted as ‘likely to vote in favour’ transgender (LGBT) community. The of equal marriage rights, 245 are right they are denied is that outlined listed as ‘unknown/neutral’, and 114 are ‘likely to vote against’. Unsurprisin Clause i, Article XVI of The Universal Declaration of Human Rights: ingly, over 81% of the MPs in the ‘Men and women of full age, without ‘against’ camp are Conservative Party any limitation due to race, nationality MPs. However, in an effort to dispel or religion, have the right to marry ... certain public perceptions of ‘Tories’

I

as being backwards and bigoted, a number of the party have openly come out in favour of the proposed changes to marriage laws.

On 24th May, the Out4Marriage campaign posted a video on its YouTube channel of the Home Secretary Teresa May, in which she states: “... I believe that if two people care for each other, if they love each other, if they want to commit to each other and spend the rest of their lives together, then they should be able to get married and marriage should be for everyone, and that’s why I’m coming out for marriage.”

On 7th December David Cameron stated in an interview with the BBC: “I am in favour of gay marriage

flickr/bisgovuk

Both PM David Cameron and ex-PM John Major have both expressed vocal support for gay marriage.

because I am a massive supporter of marriage and I don’t want gay people to be excluded from a great institution.” Also, on 8th December 19 senior Conservative Party members—including Boris Johnson, Michael Gove, Patrick McLoughlin, Alistair Burt, Baron Fowler, Nicholas Soames, Ruth Davidson, and Nick Herbert—declared in a letter to The Sunday Telegraph that: “Marriage should be open to all, regardless of sexuality”. The letter continued: “We recognise that civil partnerships were an important step forward in giving legal recognition to same sex couples. But civil partnerships are not marriages, which express a particular and universally understood commitment.”

On 10th December the former Conservative Prime Minister Sir John Major released a statement in support of Mr Cameron, stating: “We live in the 21st Century and must move on: every couple should have the opportunity and the right to formalise their relationship.” On 11th December Maria Miller stated: “Marriage is one of the most important institutions we have in this country. It binds us together, brings long-term commitment and stability, and makes society stronger. Our proposals mean that marriage would be available to everyone. I feel strongly that, if a couple wish to show their love and commitment to each other, the state should not stand in their way”.

The question remains, then, who is equality’s main opposition in Parliament? One might think that one need only look to the backbenches to find the answer. However, of the 18 strong 1922 Committee, which provides a way for Conservative backbenchers to coordinate and discuss their views based on their constituents’ and personal views, 5

flickr/Chatham House, London

are opposed to equal marriage rights, 4 are in favour, and 9 are ‘unknown/ neutral’. It is these undeclared MPs who are the biggest obstacle that equality faces.

I have recently been in contact with my MP, Chris Heaton-Harris (Con) of the Daventry constituency, regarding the issue. His website contains a statement where he—in a typically ambiguous statement— states that “The State should not be stopping people from marrying unless there are very good reasons and being gay, lesbian or bisexual is not one of them.” He goes on to say “I think that communities and wider society are improved when two people who commit to each other in a loving relationship, have that relationship recognised in a civil partnership and I do not see calling this relationship a same-sex civil marriage, problematic or concerning.” However, as his colleagues’ letter to The Sunday Telegraph acknowledges, civil partnerships and civil marriages are not the same, and here it is clear that he is avoiding the issue in order not to alienate voters.

At no point does he state that he is in favour of equal marriage rights, nor does he say which way he would vote should it come to a bill.

It is MPs such as this, who are putting their principles second to their election campaigns, that are the main obstacle for marriage equality for LGBT people in the UK. I am still in correspondence with Mr HeatonHarris, and I urge any readers to contact their MP in order to assure themselves that they are being represented in Parliament by someone who is not afraid to stand up and be counted, even if it loses them the votes of those whose views are reminiscent of the Dark Ages, and who in 50 years’ time will look back in embarrassment at their ignorance.

9

The Founder | Tuesday 15 January 2013

We know much of Africa... but can’t believe it

flickr/Duplisea

Sunrise in Rwanda, whose people are still recovering from the events of 1994. would receive much more prominence and more would be done to act upon it.

Instead, at best, our public percepAt the end of last year Genocide tion (in terms of global affairs) jumps Watch released a report on the coun- from Libya to Egypt to Syria, from tries officially suffering from mass China to America, or Israel to Iran. killing known as 'genocide'. But in Although these may be newsworthy general the British media-and thus reports, human catastrophes are the public perception-has not picked nowhere more severe than they are up on this report or its findings. in the nations of the DRC, Somalia, The report is the result of a pioneer- Sudan and Ethiopia. Last year militia ing piece of research by Professor groups in the DRC killed some Gregory Stanton, which helps us to 700 people and displaced a further understand and identify genocide by 300,000. This upheaval is a terrible explaining that there are eight key continuation of the blood bath in stages to its murderous realization. neighboring Rwanda 18 years before, Admittedly, upheavals in Syria and since then DRC has experienced have been widely reported (and this the loss of four million innocents to is one of the countries Professor violent and miserable deaths as well Stanton identifies as being in stage as 200,000 cases of rape. As Genoseven of eight), but the genocides in cide Watch has recently proven in its the DRC, Somalia, Sudan and Ethio- online report, the genocidal violence pia still fail to properly penetrate the continues on a daily basis in all of the perception of the British public. At aforementioned countries. Yet this the basic level almost everyone in reality remains truly unrealized in Britain (in fact, this statement can the West. be generalized to 'almost everyThis failure of public imagination one in the West') can tell you that has severe consequences for the nadeadly violence is widespread on tions that suffer the most. Without any real perception or understanding the African continent. Yet we seem unable to believe what we know to be of the situation in, for example, the true; if we did truly comprehend the DRC, there is no argument amongst violence in these nations, reporting the general population in the West

James Ball

Starbucks

to be spread across the Atlantic.

Considering the cost of the coffee, the profit that the company makes, and the attack on workers’ rights, how can Starbucks continue to have Starbucks paid £8.6m in corporation the support it does in comparison to tax in 14 years. They have told staff rival chains? The town of Totnes, in members to sign new employment Devon, said no to the opening of a papers to prevent them from paid Costa in their town due lunch breaks. In a time when the to the threat that it would have state is cutting back on welfare and been to local business. Surely increasing tax in order to balance a Starbucks is equally guilty of this, huge deficit, is it right that a compa- although instead of providing an ny that made £400,000,000 last year economic threat to coffee shops, it pays next to nothing in taxation? threatens the workers’ rights across Given that the company does not the country by setting a dangerous appear to respect the British taxation precedent. laws, and is providing workers with Given that there is already a lack of what could be termed an ultimatum, jobs, is it morally right that Starbucks because jobs are scarce enough that are forcing workers’ to waive their Starbucks will not struggle to find re- 30 minutes paid lunch that their placement staff to those who refuse, contracts had already given them? why is it that people would continue Starbucks are manipulating the situto support them? ation, and to make matters worse, At a time of economic hardship big they are not simply manipulating business, such as Starbucks, continue the system on the top level. They are to charge excessive prices for their manipulating you and me. I, for one, product when little of this money will not be giving my support to an goes to paying staff, tax or products. organisation that trades in EngIs this fair? It is wrong for Starbucks land but avoids English tax, attacks to avoid paying tax, but to do this the rights of its staff and makes an and continue to charge the prices extremely high amount of money by they charge, as well as cutting the doing this. The only power that the rights of workers, it is a wonder that masses have in matters like this is they are able to continue as a busithrough your custom, vote with your ness. Amazon has similarly failed feet; go somewhere else. By buying to pay tax, although the prices they at Starbucks you are supporting their charge does collate with the lack of morally wrong policies. The only way taxation. While this is also wrong, to teach companies like Starbucks Starbucks has achieved phenomto respect our rights, laws, and taxes enal success by simply providing an is by withdrawing your custom and artificial atmosphere, allowing the showing them that what they are doeconomic imperialism of America ing is wrong.

Sam Clements

as to whether or not we might be able to do something useful. If say, the British public knew how ineffectively the UN is acting within the DRC, there could be mass pressure from the bottom up that may have a chance (considering our democratic system) to influence our government to affect the way in which the UN is operating there. It could, as Genocide Watch has suggested, 'increase its efforts to hunt down perpetrators of genocide with robust funding and training from European and other African governments'.

It is groups like Genocide Watch that are trying to increase exposure of the real suffering of millions of people in many African nations. By highlighting their work we can begin to stimulate an attention to places like the DRC that may at some point lead to its penetration into Western public perception. From here the chances of progress are much improved, as pressure can be applied for the UN to adjust course in terms of its role as an international actor.

Or perhaps, when we finally realize this immense suffering, we will start thinking over some more radical ideas about how to assuage the extreme difficulties experienced in the flickr/Smithcam externalities of the globalized system. Should Starbucks rehaul their business and stop crying over spilt milk?

10

The Founder | Tuesday 15 January 2013

Features covered in glitter and still wearing one shoe and, while still devastatingly drunk from the night before, make some ridiculously impossible new year’s resolution. A few hours later as you tuck into a Mars bar you he same thing happens suddenly remember your ‘not eating every January. On New Year’s chocolate’ resolution and are filled Day we wake up hungover, with a depressing sense of failure

Felicity King Features Editor

which can, ironically, only be combated by eating more chocolate.

I personally have never actually made it beyond the first of January with any of my resolutions and I’m sick of feeling like the world’s most terrible person just because I got distracted by an episode of Hollyoaks and accidentally ate a cheesestring.

That was the year I gave up cheese. It was a tragic, cheese-less 27 minutes and 4 seconds, I can tell you.

The time for self-deprivation has returned once more. That feeling of disappointment, depression and failure is only days, minutes, seconds away. Why do it to yourself? I have hereby conjured up a list of the ‘Ten

Best New Year’s Resolutions Which Won’t End In Failure And Leave You Feeling Like Crap’. If you follow my fail safe guide I can assure you that by this time next year you will be enjoying the inevitable anti-climax that follows 365 days of keeping to your resolutions. The trick to my success?

Pretend you’re bowling: aim low.

T Ten Best New Year’s Resolutions Which Won’t End In Failure And Leave You Feeling Like Crap 1) Resolve to breathe on a regular basis throughout the upcoming year. This is a win win resolution. In fact, you can’t lose.

Most likely you will breathe on a regular basis throughout the upcoming year and if you don’t, well, you’ll be dead and therefore the fact you didn’t keep to your new year’s resolution will hardly be your biggest concern.

flickr/sassyradish

2) Make a standard new year’s resolution such as ‘I will not eat chocolate’. Then, be an excellent new year’s resolution resolver and make a second one. For your second resolution resolve to break all of your new year’s resolutions. You will quickly find yourself in a paradox. If you are to keep your first resolution you must not eat chocolate. If you are to keep your second resolution you must break your first resolution and eat chocolate. However, if you keep your second resolution you must also break your second resolution which means you must no longer break your resolutions which means now you can’t eat chocolate again. Isn’t that a pickle? Paradoxes make the universe explode. If the universe explodes the fact you didn’t keep to your new year’s resolution will hardly be your biggest concern.

flickr/Aunt Owwee

tf

3) Resolve to make no new year’s resolutions. Sorted. Now go have some cake.

Why are we all so obsessed with depriving ourselves of things we love and enjoy anyway? Giving things up isn’t fun. If you want to make a fresh start this year don’t give up something, start up something.

4) Resolve to eat less fruit and vegetables.

Every year people resolve to eat more and don’t. Instead of changing yourself, change your resolutions.

5) Resolve to do one thing you love every single day. If it’s getting near bedtime and you haven’t done anything you love yet you have the perfect excuse to pop to the corner shop and buy a huge tub of Ben and Jerry’s. Everybody loves ice cream and you’re only doing it because you have to.

Sigh.

6) Resolve to view failures as successes of a different kind; after all, we learn more from our mistakes than we do from our triumphs. Even if you fail at this resolution and view your failures as failures it doesn’t matter for that too is a failure you can view as a success.

7) Resolve to sleep more and throw out your alarm clock.

flickr/nettsu

flickr/toombsday

8) Resolve to hug everybody. Hugs are biologically proven to make you feel better.

Plus they’re just really nice and stuff.

9) Resolve to be skint by Christmas. Everybody is always skint by Christmas. This way at least there will be a silver lining to you realising you have 13 pence with which to do your Christmas shopping.

10) Resolve, above all, to be happy. That is the most important thing and any resolutions that make you unhappy can officially be ignored.

Next deadline

The next deadline is midnight Saturday 19th January

(Good luck dear ones and remember, there’s always next year!)

11

The Founder | Tuesday 15 January 2013

Features Write for Features!

Whether it’s fashion advice, a restaurant review or your unmissable tips for changing a spare tyre, the Features section is yours to create!

Crazy for Casual flickr/UggBoy<3UggGirl

The Quarter Life Crisis Laura Martin

Think back to when you were a little person, sitting cross-legged on the carpet of your classroom at school. Do this properly: the smell of Crayola in the air, the itch of the carpet on the side of your legs, the enormous jumper your mum bought you that she swore you would “grow

In your dreams. Recommended retail price: your tuition fees.

Rosanna Harkin

I’d be willing to bet my next month’s wages (and trust me, when you’re a student trying to save for the Kurt Geiger Chelsea boots of your dreams, that is a big deal) that there isn’t a single person reading this article that hasn’t seen someone in their lectures with a Jack Wills gilet, a Superdry hoody, or Abercrombie sweatpants.

You probably own some, right?

As someone who takes pride in getting up an hour and a quarter before I need to leave my flat to pull my hair into a messy topknot, perfect the flick of a cat eye and find the balance between a tough spiked cuff and a soft black silk blazer, I feel that I am in the minority of students who do not favour sweatpants and a hoody for daytime wear.

This thought came to me after meeting up with a good friend in London a month into the first term of university. I was shocked that in such a short space of time someone I used to admire for her taste in vintage treasures has succumbed to the draw of sweatpants. Is Jack Wills incorporating subliminal hypnotism into its ad campaigns?! This was

stewing over in my head as I went about campus wearing my cape coat with pride and defiance, like a fashion zealot in the face of hordes of Superdry minions.

Last week, however, upon opening an excitingly squishy birthday parcel from my auntie, I accidentally became the owner of one of those fashion-fatal Superdry hoodies… and I must confess I love it (cue booing/hissing). It has overtaken my penguin onesie as my staple lounging attire. The fabric is thick and warm and the quality is excellent: like Uggs for the upper half! Maybe that’s what has us hooked?

Saying that, you will only see me in this hoodie if you surprise me on one evening, mid Eastenders, or if you catch me en route to hockey training. The temptation to throw it on in the morning is there I’ll admit but then I remember that actually, I don’t want to join the herd that makes up 75% of my peers and besides, heels are far more empowering (and sexy)!

What bag would one even pair with sweatpants?

It’s true that I finally understand the allure of casual-wear and I won’t try to deny that it is strong, but just because we are students should it be our go-to attire every day?

features@thefounder.co.uk

in to” etc. Your teacher asks the question: “What do you want to be when you grow up?”

There were two ways you could respond to this question. You could throw your hand up in the air with great enthusiasm and tell everybody about your dream career as a vet/ astronaut/police officer or you could keep your head down and your hand firmly by your side. I definitely fell in to the latter category, I had no idea what I wanted to do. I did at one point entertain the idea of becoming the sixth Spice Girl or one of Charlie’s Angels but I’ve never really had a realistic ambition to aspire towards.

Really, my ambition is to have a nice quiet life with a continual stream of tea and biscuits.

I have now hit a snag. At 21 years old and only a matter of months from graduating I still have my eyes to the ground and my hand firmly in my school cardigan pocket without the foggiest idea what I want to do with my life. I’m going through what I like to call “an existential quarter life crisis”. According to Wikipedia, a quarter life crisis is “a period of life following the major changes of adolescence, usually ranging from the late teens to the early thirties, in which a person begins to feel doubtful about their own lives, brought on by the stress of becoming an adult.” I couldn’t have put it better myself.

Every time I turn on my TV there’s a new story about out of work graduates getting rejected by McDonalds or some such horror. What I’ve realised, though, is this: I am still only 21 years old. I’m probably (hopefully) only a quarter of the way through life’s journey.

What I choose to do now does not dictate what I will be doing by the time I retire. What I find comfort in is the fact I am certainly not alone.

Speaking to friends and peers I’ve discovered that quite a lot of the “just-about-to-enter-the-real-world”

demographic are scared shitless by the idea. Not many of us know what we want to do. Saying that what I fear most is going to a school reunion in 20 years time and meeting an old acquaintance who’s done fantastically well. What if they ask me what I’m up to these days and laugh at my answer? Take solace: If this happens that person is clearly not worth the worry. Chins up, friends. We’ll be alright.

flickr/mattdoucette

12

The Founder | Tuesday 15 January 2013

Features On The with Sylvia Bevan President of RHUL Investment and Finance Society

Money

Minimum Alcohol Pricing

flickr/Steve Weaver

A

s we bring in the new year we say goodbye to 2012 and its myriad historic moments, from Jessica Ennis winning gold to Obama and Putin being re-elected, but none so memorable for us students of course as when the government uttered those three little words that made every last Jeremy Kyle Show audience member’s balls retreat back into his or her Special Brew-fuelled body; ‘minimum alcohol price’.

The plan, announced in November and currently undergoing consultation, would set the minimum price for one unit of alcohol at 45p, meaning that the ever popular £3.99 bottle of wine in Tesco will now cost

you at least £4.88, and a four pack of Carlsberg’s aforementioned vandalstrength 9% vol Brew will cost its unique clientele a small fortune at just over £8.

One can only assume this is a move by Dave ‘hug-a-hoodie then tax his tinny’ Cameron to kick us students while we’re down, having barely let us recover from the first major wound of the astronomical rise in tuition fees we now can’t even afford to drown our subsequent financial sorrows in a bottle of Tesco Value tramp’s piss. Supposedly, the price increase is a move to save us from ourselves, preventing 2000 deaths and 66,000 hospital admissions over a ten-year period, but

even the NHS could tell Mr Cameron that its alcohol you need for a wound, not salt.

When reporting on this story the BBC said that according to the top hats and monocles at Westminster there has been a rise in alcohol-related injuries and violence, which they attribute to ‘the phenomenon of preloading’, which is apparently ‘where people binge-drink before going out’, known to the more seasoned alcoholics like you and I as the delicate art of pre-drinking.

However this ‘phenomenon’ has

of course stemmed from a rise in the price of drinks at clubs and bars, and here in Egham we are all too familiar with such expenses, given that our Students’ Union must be one of the most profitable not-for-profit beverage-serving organisations in the country. I have no facts to back this up except for my own experiences of turning up at the SU not-quiteshitfaced and upon buying a round not receiving change from a £20.

This, coupled with the imminent alcohol price increase and the Student Loans Company reporting

that Royal Holloway students are the most indebted of any university in the country, owing a casual £20,270 each on average, 2013 is looking bleak for us at RoHo. In order to combat this inherent sadness and imposition of sobriety we will have to start thinking outside the box (or . . . crate). I personally am planning to brew my own highly illegal yet highly available blend of moonshine in my bathtub made from a special mix of wine-in-a-carton and politicians’ tears. Happy new year!

Please recycle this newspaper when you’re finished!

13

The Founder | Tuesday 15 January 2013

Humour

- Part the 4th -

Finding Saturnalia, The Attempted Seduction of Keira Knightley, and The Carpet It was time to post this emblem of my affecMy darling students! I write this bent over my nalia. Goodbye.” And I left her to her being ill worn desk, not receiving arse-glowing blows and returned to the short lives of wine bottles. tion, and as I relate to you my treading down from the riding crop of Keira Knightley, whilst

The family did not appreciate my the stairs I also stride towards this chapter’s close. A man should have on him certain acshe wears thigh-high leather concubine boots Saturnalia on Christmas day. I put all the cessories: a bow tie, say; two pairs of cufflinks; and punishes my little peach with an astral furniture in the garage, including the ChristViagra. I had with me my usual glass and as I whipping, but instead scrawling furiously in mas tree, and replaced them with cushions stormed into the lounge, flapping my summons an act of most desperate self-preservation. and colourful desert blankets. Wine and port

There is one thing that must be said stood in glasses all around the room and I to Miss Knightley in my father’s face and telling him he wasn’t going to have dinner with Aphroabout returning home after university: the must be straight with you, before they’d even dite any time soon, I tripped over one of many old world is dark. I’m afraid I live in that all arrived I was already quite drunk. When I Hardy-esque world known as the countryside. took my final stand on top of the table wearing cushions I had placed earlier, and my dear glass, that holy nectar, cascaded across the carpet.

I returned from the enlightened utopia of a wolf mask, fending off Auntie Eileen with

In my house, the carpet is law. The famiRoyal Holloway, away from the megalopolis a bust of Vespasian and announced we must we call London, and instead find myself lost in honour the old ways because at least they were ly party suddenly changed from relaxed boozing the dredges of man. In this county are simple partially honest, my father exploded. The old and ‘how are you’, to a collective group defense of the floor, where everyone had an input on people. Pot-bellied scrubs and their paunchsemen-spout called me a flamboyant, mindhow best to protect the sacrosanct layer I’d just ridden wives, buck-toothed maidens and their less drunk, in front of them all. defiled because god forbid the fucking carpet buck-toothed sex lives, racist one-eyed thugs

In times of grief a boy thinks of Keira isn’t enjoying Christmas; we should have just draining their yeasty glasses with intolerant Knightley, and a man writes a letter. I flung shrugs – it is the end of all things. All a man my wolf mask to the floor, lurched upstairs to sold out Jesus right there, because Monty was a fucking carpet Judas, and instead of twenty can do is write to his loved ones back home my room, ignoring Lily’s protestations, and pieces of silver, he’s in the fridge, the fucking and think of a fine spanking. slammed DeLarge headed paper onto the

My tale today is one of Christmas desk. I was running on the fumes of Christfridge, eating twenty pieces of bacon-wrapped sausage, drinking Christ’s blood and masturbatday, where all was not quiet in the house, for mas now: port, mulled wine, and endless your Monty reached a level of port that ansorrow. The old man had no idea what he was ing into the cheese, because the carpet suddenly became the world and this, my friends, is the nihilated even the mouse. I don’t like Christsaying. True men adore the Knightley. They true embodiment of Christmas Spirit. mas. It seems shamefully selfless, the religious live by the Knightley, and die by the Knightley. iconography is boring rather than thoughtMy letter, my loves, was thus: I left, that night, posted my letter and fell a r i e asleep by the postbox. The vomit was probprovoking, and distant relatives always buy K ss ds, Mi l r o w d ably mine. The pot-bellied postman awoke me the wrong type of whiskey and I have to ousan of a th r a t s t me the next day. say thank you rather than pour it into their radian To the ey. a eyes and baptise them in their own searing “What day is it, you callous beast?” I ’m tl inks I the h t Knigh e g a asked him. incompetence. I spent Christmas Eve reading c herit or drinks at se I geneti f li a y t e n r e M . d w l y

“It’s Boxing Day, sir.” He said in my Romans and came across a curious little ont wou f we t of e is M ut I think i t, you is with a lo r m a a p n his strange tongue. idea of my own.

My Adon t future. unk b h I am h less dr lub, of whic d a heaving g d i n r i b m a c

Christmas is lifeless anyway, families

“Thank fucking Christ,” I sighed, a he big k, but inste bilities and e a club, t n r s u a a r u d h and in rising, “Be sure to get that mesare ruinous, and Santa and Jesus are two heo c y u ta e said: ean, am no e qualities s b t s u m v m ti roes from particularly good storybooks. This sage to Keira Knightley. I may be able fair. I tley, it t attrac Knigh It’s not even women, bu a r i e to make space for her on New Year’s.” year, I was going to make Christmas into the my ve. ss K ve, Mi gly attracti ement. I like d stop being o l y M ancient Saturnalia, family be damned, and I o the Aton statin e. An t deva ou wore in ips to rubbl ven listens t our s u j walked into my older sister’s room to tell her. ress y my h o one e to be y that d ost turned ton. N ter. I want h g i

“Lily, I’m going to turn Christmas into m R l that a with James for that mat d e the ancient Saturnalia. We’re going to be comengage , or new rav s n pletely debauched, gamble, pour wine over Klaxo tually. c Love A ingy, ment, ourselves and normally we’d have an orgy but and cl Atone d d r a i l e c w r I suppose we shouldn’t do that; incest is pretty leathe this as erpret Be my t n i ’t much where I draw the line.” se don d plea y, n a , t s

Lily looked at me from her bed (she’s In lu ally cool gu re I’m a been quite ill recently, poor girl).

“That’s nice, Monty. Are you feeling XX ty n XXXX o H T M R I alright?”

G AND NS<3 I O

“Yes. I’m going to resurrect the SaturL XXXX XX

flickr/digital collagist

flickr/thetwinklinofaneye

flickr/myPhotoshopBrushes

The Adventures of: Montague ‘Fresh’ DeLarge

14

Dubai Desert Musa Kureshy

The Founder | Tuesday 15 January 2013

15

The Founder | Tuesday 15 January 2013

Virginia Water Lake Juin Yi Yap

Holloway View

pictures@thefounder.co.uk Showcasing the best scenery and moments of the Royal Holloway lifestyle. If you’ve taken a shot that you’re proud of recently, send it in with a commentary and the best will get the prize of a page print to itself!

New Year’s Eve Fireworks, Burj Al Arab, Dubai.

Musa Kureshy

Virginia Water Lake Rosie Barton

16

The Founder | Tuesday 15 January 2013

Arts

Your guide to the arts in 2013 National Gallery’s exhibition ‘Seduced by Art: Photography Past ello, Hollowegians. We’re in and Present’: This runs until January 20th, and the Christmas and New year explores early photography from hangover period, and you need something to focus on and look the mid-19th century and contemporary photographs alongside forward to. I’m not going to try and persuade you to buy a gym member- historical paintings. It presents how photographers use fine art traditions ship that you’ll only use for a week, to explore the possibilities of their or go on a diet (my breakfasts still consist of mince pies and cheese, and own art. I love paintings, but adore photographs, and will be going this that’s absolutely okay). I’m here to week. It’s £6 for the exhibition, but sell 2013 to you in terms of the arts, the gallery is beautiful in itself, so and have compiled a list of events make a day of it. to whet your appetite. I know we were all a bit miffed to discover that Tate Modern, ‘Lichtenstein: A RetLondon isn’t just a stroll down the rospective’: hill, but at about £8 for a travel card This first full-scale retrospective of you can’t go wrong. e train gets this artist in over twenty years brings in at Waterloo. That’s a 15 minute walk away from the South Bank. And together 125 of his most definitive paintings and sculptures and will that’s the BEST PLACE EVER. reassess his enduring legacy. It’s £12, Art galleries. Museums. Go. I but this is iconic. Do it before you like going alone, because then I can blow your loan. In general, the V&A fuel my favourite fantasy role of an intense and mysterious student, who is amazing. Oh, and if you’ve got any link to the North-East, make sure concentrates on cultural delights you find Don McCullin in Photograther than frittering my loan away raphy. His work often focuses on the in Oxford St.

Rose Walker

H

e Old Vic: Tennessee Williams’s powerful and poetic, ‘Sweet Bird of Youth’ runs from 1st June - 31st August, and Kim Cattrall features as a fading Hollywood legend ravaged by the bitterness of failure and despair. If Shakespeare’s Globe, 2013: A Midsummer Night’s Dream, e she focuses on the critics’ reaction to ‘Sex and the City 2’, she should Tempest and Macbeth will sit at the heart of it, alongside three new plays. be extremely convincing. Williams paints a vivid and haunting portrait This summer, save your money and of the destruction of dreams in his be a groundling (the atmosphere’s better and if your seat is behind one writing, and I look forward to this of the pillars, you’re fucked anyway). interpretation.

Afterwards, go to ‘Tas Pide’, a Turkish restaurant just round the corner. The e Vue, Staines: Film next. No need for London food’s sublime and there’s live music. this time; Staines may leave a lot to be desired in general, but its Vue e National eatre, Maxim: Gorky’s ‘Children of the Sun’ opens cinema is pretty nice. And Nando’s at the Lyttelton eatre, from March is 100 yards away. Right, first up, the big cannon: ‘Les Misérables’ opens 2013. Highly political and set in 19th century Russia, it explores how Jan 11th, and if it lives up to its unaware the privileged intellectual emotionally devastating trailer, I’ll be a wreck that not even half a peri-peri elite are of those below them. Given the current economic and social cli- chicken can put back together. Janumate, I hope its director draws some ary 18th delivers Tarantino’s ‘Django Unchained’, a spaghetti western that parallels. focuses on slavery, and will no doubt unemployed and impoverished, an ‘Winter, man going to the early shift, steel works, Hartlepool’ made me cry. I hit the pinnacle of my ‘intense student’ fantasy that day.

feature all the blood in the world.

Early reviews are good, and hopefully Tarantino’s back for the better.

February heralds british acting royalty Anthony Hopkins and Helen Mirren teaming up to play legendary filmmaker Alfred Hitchcock and his wife, writer Alma Reville, in a behind-the-scenes look at their marriage during the making of ‘Psycho’.

Summer blockbuster season features a plethora of huge action films; ‘Iron Man 3’, ‘Star Trek Into e Darkness’, ‘Man of Steel’ (Superman), and ‘Wolverine.’ However, there’s also a tantalising offering in the form of ‘e Great Gatsby.’ Directed by Baz Luhrmann and a budget standing at $120 million, it’s sure to be a sumptuous visual spectacle. For a bit of light humour there’s ‘Monsters University’, a prequel to ‘Monsters Inc.’ that I’m far too excited about than a near 20-year-old should be. Final word: if you haven’t already, go and see ‘The Hobbit.’ In the words of my 6 year old cousin; ‘If you admire nice things you’ll like it.’ I’d say that was the only review you need.

17

The Founder | Tuesday 15 January 2013

Arts

Aperture and Closure:

A Cross-Section of Contemporary Art

scrawled in the frost providing little moments of distinction. Architect Peter Eisenman wrote in his brief for the project that this architecture was going to be ‘uneasy’ and ‘confusing’ What do the Holocaust Memorial in for the visitors within.

Berlin, Valve’s revolutionary game I have never been so quickly franchise ‘Portal’ and DT2741 – an manipulated by something made by interactive theatre module for drama man. I entered the memorial with my students at Royal Holloway – have in friend, and as we delved deeper we common? naturally began to divert away from With regards to tangibility and im- the other. mersion, quite a lot, actually.

You take a physical vote to explore Over the Christmas break I was further and deeper as an individual, lucky enough to spend some time and very quickly the rabbit hole in Berlin with a good friend. Berlin becomes threatening. I have never is an amazing city, but a city secure believed in the idea that art exists to enough in its position as the focus challenge us – and I am not saying of endless travel writing and history here that this memorial is a piece of without being the unnecessary holi- art – but I found the impression of day feature of a university paper. suddenly being dwarfed by a physie full title of the Holocaust cal and geometric dominance very Memorial is ‘e Memorial to the unsettling. My friend was now long Murdered Jews of Europe’. Large ob- gone, and in the minutes I spent elisk-type structures called ‘stelae’ are weaving amongst these obelisks with arranged in a grid across a depresthe sky overhead, these simple shapes sion in the ground, with the deepest proved I was lost, divided, and alone. point at the centre. e stelae are of is was my first experience of a very different sizes and heights; they are simple interactivity, one that relied otherwise unmarked, with occaon my own input before delivering sional hearts and personal messages a colossal and unflinching output.

Scott Wilson Arts Editor

For all purposes, the Memorial is an interface, a giant circuit-board built to process your lack of control, and emit a sobering amount of data. ere was no statement in a frame, or moral at the end of the story, just an interior acknowledgement that I had, in a very small way, been processed.

I am a sceptic about ‘interactive’ art and theatre, but it is undoubtedly contemporary and even quite established. Its inclusion as a module on many British university drama syllabuses, including our own, indicates this. But is the process lost in academic translation – where no matter what kind of mind you possess, you must bend to being politically correct– and fed to students as a socially-aware gimmick? At Royal Holloway, this doesn’t seem to be the case.

In multiple interviews with drama students who had taken this course, I had entirely positive reviews. One student claimed that although interactive theatre initially suffered from social gimmick, “there was a negative, and in my opinion quite hostile and bitter area of theatre-makers …

who designed interactive art installations, not theatre” the style has matured today: “the really interesting thing, which is happening now, is that modern companies like Frantic Assembly are developing proscenium arch, standard theatre into something exciting, like Othello, but set in a pub.”

When asked what an interactive theatre course achieved, a student replied, “Being able to create an experience for an audience to physically go through, rather than actors creates so much more tangible emotions for all involved. e audience are part of the performance.” e only grievance I encountered was more of a worry: “at the moment, I haven’t really experienced what I would call traditional [theatre]. If you want to do traditional things you’d have to get involved in the societies.” However, this is not the responsibility of this specific course.

Being controversial, contentious and challenging for the final aim of calling it ‘a statement’ should never be the end (which is a good threequarters of the reason being why Carol Ann Duffy should never have

become poet laureate, the final part being a question of genuine artisanship) or reasoning behind a piece of art. It’s a perverse type of creative martyrdom that doesn’t express insight. is is where interactive theatre could very easily fail, but the same can be said for any other kind of creative product.

And so I end on ‘Portal’, the product of talented US-based Valve Corporation, a game that quickly stops being a game and instead insists on dismantling and re-moulding the user’s experience as they place their own gateways, and traverse ordeals at the behest of a sadistic seminar leader.

Good interactive art, and our attempt at it at Holloway, advocates something similar. ‘Portal’ asks a player – or user, or audience member - to realise barriers are an internal thing. With trying moments that sometimes feel quite like studying at university, there is eventually an acknowledgement of your new awareness: “Now, you’re starting to think with portals.” And in all its forms, that’s quite a tangible and rewarding thing.

18

The Founder | Tuesday 15 January 2013

Arts

Bill Tetley An Obituary

THE CAT-OLOGUE

Confessions of Consumerism | What a Nineteenth Century French Novel, Sophie Kinsella’s Shopaholic Series and the BBC’s ‘e Paradise’ have in common.

Catherine Kay

J. Gregson

where he would introduce the world to new bands, comedians and even A note from Scott Wilson, Arts edia few dancing geese. Little is known tor: It is a delight to help pay homage about Kermit’s life before he entered to such an accomplished man, and broadcasting. is may be because although I never knew Bill myself, he seemed to embody the spirit of raI respect ridiculous and absolutely dio so much, to imagine him without make-believe gentlemen like Bill, it is damned near impossible. Kermit alongside Kermit the Frog, even if he was quite the philanthropist, donatdoes sound like a bit of a dick. ing much of his hard earned wages to the O&A WOW fund, which helped t’s rare to meet a man like Bill underprivileged males everywhere.

Tetley, one who is so full of Bill was also known for his radical wonder, ingenuity and fun. views on furniture, claiming that Tetley was a radio broadcaster whose everyone who owns nesting tables talents surpassed most others, his should be condemned to death, but regular features such as “Where’s then again, he owned a set himself… the Watermelon?” and “She Fell in he actually purchased them the day the Water” had audiences captivated before his death. Bill also loved cats. around the globe. His eclectic choice Insanity Radio have promised to in music made his show the perfect sporadically play ‘e Best of Tetley’ way to spend a Saturday evening. over the next few months, in a gesSadly, tragedy has struck radio lis- ture most are calling “shameful” kerteners everywhere but Kermit is fine. mit does not like. When asked how On December 25th 2012, Bill Tetley he would like the world to remember was found dead outside his estate in him, Tetley responded “With their minds.” Always the joker. So for the Tibet, the cause of death still to be last time, I ask you all to join me in announced. is comes as a further a chant. blow aer his wife Gillian (know to friends as ‘Jill’) took her own life earB-I-L-L-T-E-T-L-E-Y BILL TETlier in the year. Bill was never quite LEY the same without her.

We miss you Bill.

Bill Tetley was best known for his (Arts Ed.: And I fucking love you, Kerwork on Insanity Radio 103.2 FM, hosting e Bill Tetley Variety Show, mit the Frog.)

I

Anyone who watched the national news over the Christmas period in 2012 is likely to have noticed the focus on retail spending, and, in particular, the economic importance of the post-Christmas discount period, or what everyone else calls ‘the sales’.

Even with America perched perilously on its ‘fiscal cliff ’, and Britain still suffering from the blows of the cuts, millions of shoppers were still expected on every high street across the country.

With the British pound squeezed for all it’s worth, many shoppers feel it is wise economy to make the most of the heavily discounted goods available in late December and January. Certainly, paying 50% of what you would have paid the previous month is saving you 50%. However, the importance of the sales period in retail as a whole is revealing, and not just to those who breakfast on the Financial Times.

‘Desire is something retail tycoons have been cashing in on since the nineteenth century, and they are still trading with our desires today.’

When we buy something, we are oen not only buying that item, but we are buying into an idea and an ideal. Shopaholics and consumerism might be terms we think of exclusively in relation to very modern times. In fact, they stretch back to the nineteenth century at least, and they unfurl in Zola’s French novel, ‘Au Bonheur des Dames’ (usually translated as ‘e Ladies’ Delight/ Paradise’) . Zola’s novel charts the opening of Paris’s first department store, which, though significant in itself, also marked a movement from individual experts in separate shops to the glittering vistas of the shops which seemed to sell everything you could imagine. e novel is fascinating both as a

flickr/avixys

socio-historical glimpse into the earliest days of a consumerism that is so commonplace today, and as the story of its central protagonist, Denise, a country girl who has to find her way in both France’s vast capital and in a vast new department store. But of course, behind the shimmer of silks, the old world and its ways were being engulfed by the new Paris, leaving traders without the trades and threatening family tradition. All this, fuelled by something both conscious and sub-conscious: desire.

Desire is something retail tycoons have been cashing in on since the nineteenth century and centuries before, and they are still trading with our desires today. “SALE’” sounds like a great deal, doesn’t it? Something that should cost X for half of X, or even less. But, in a country still finding its feet financially, aren’t retail gurus simply capitalising on one of our greatest current fears?

Buying things in a sale makes us feel as though we are being careful, being economical, but in fact we still buy into the consumer game, albeit at a discounted rate. e sale is a main event both in Sophie Kinsella’s first shopaholic novel and in the BBC’s recent period drama, ‘e Paradise’ (which was loosely based on Zola’s novel). Kinsella’s Rebecca is constantly drawn to sales, both in the UK and America, feeling, at the moment of every purchase, that she is getting a brilliant deal that is simply too good to miss. Similarly, in ‘e Paradise’, Moray’s great concept is having a huge sale in his department store. In the nineteenth century when Zola’s novel and ‘e

Paradise’ are set, the idea of a sale on such a scale was still new, and yet, over one hundred years later, sales are still attracting huge attention, in fiction and in reality.

Kinsella’s Shopaholic series are deceptive. ey are usually categorised at ‘chick-lit’ and taken in a relatively light-hearted manner but they actually go straight to the heart of what for many people is a day-today hardship: financial ruin due to overspending. Yes, we can buy into the whitewashed, vanilla-scented life of television commercials and shop-window advertising, but what even the small print does not tell us that, even in a sale, the real winner is the brand who has won us over with their clever and well-placed advertising.

Although I do not think the BBC’s ‘e Paradise’ captures the complex essence of Zola’s novel, it does successfully articulate on screen how department stores try to create a fairy-tale landscape to attract their customers and gives a wink to the consumerism and capitalism beneath the birth of such a store.

So, would I urge you to read and watch ‘Confessions of a Shopaholic’, ‘Au Bonheur des Dames’, and ‘e Paradise’ which all share the fascinating and searingly current theme of consumerism? No, because I hope, with shopping as with books and television, that you will make up your own mind. However, this take-it or leave-it indirect manner could just be my own brand of marketing.

Happy New Year, Happy Reading, and - dare I say it? - Happy Sales Shopping.

19

The Founder | Tuesday 15 January 2013

Arts

Review: Alan Bennett, People

Nicholas Hyder A new Alan Bennett play is one of the theatrical events of the year, and ‘People’, though perhaps relatively minor in a great canon, does not disappoint. Bennett’s name has become a byword for both critical appraisal and public appreciation, and he is one of few playwrights who, just through his name, can cause a rush on the box office.

Given that his career has produced bona fide masterpieces and public hits, this is understandable. ‘People’ doesn’t quite sit in the ranks of his masterpieces, but is still one of the most engaging and clever pieces of drama of 2012. One of his wittiest and with a character destined to be seen as one of Bennett’s best creations, it’s a fantastic evening at the theatre.

In the central role, Frances de la Tour, an effortlessly watchable and

brilliant actress, delivers a silently stunning performance as Dorothy, the somewhat tragic heroine. Her life now centres around her dilapidated country house. A former model, whose life has been fraught with misfortunes and sadness, she now lives an unremarkable, sad life with her ‘companion’ Iris (an equally perfect performance by Linda Bassett) and the odd visit from her sister (a much less showy but superb Selina Cadell).

When the National Trust visit with the intention of taking over the property, Dorothy has to consider the future, and when an old friend, now making a living by making porn movies visits, Dorothy has another idea about what to do with the house.

And hilarity ensues. As might be expected with Bennett, wit $ies through the theatre like light through a window. Certain lines, “Sometimes doing the right thing isn’t necessarily the right thing to do” deserve to

be noticed. One scene is a farce and a bloody funny one too. ‘People’ sits most neatly alongside the likes of his superb miniature ‘e Uncommon Reader’ (an absolute petite gem for any reader): perfect, passable entertainment, though with much to appreciate beneath it all.

‘The final scene is unforgettable – the writing, the acting and direction make the last few minutes a quiet wonder of theatre.’

As also ought to be expected with Bennett, profundities are hidden in the humour, though lesser ones than in other plays. Its central mantra – ‘People spoil things’ – is

stated then debated throughout the play, alongside issues relating to the National Trust (which either is a clever metaphor for more complex matters or is a relatively $imsy point) and the effects of age, almost unnoticed beneath the sheer enjoyment the characters produce. ese are relatively minor Bennett debates and its subtext sometimes unsubtle – the porn stars screw each other, the National trust screw over the house – but Bennett’s stagecra means that is forgiven. e final scene is unforgettable – the writing, the acting and Nicholas Hytner’s reliably impeccable direction make the last few minutes a quiet wonder of theatre.

Ultimately it’s a soer piece than Bennett’s other masterpieces – compared with the no-holds-barred ‘Kaa’s Dick’ it’s a feel-good piece – but this is no bad thing. It’s quietly tragic, with Bennett wisely never emphasising the sadness that underpins characters, and quietly clever, with

Bennett never overdoing his attacks.

It’s loudly comic – about as entertaining as can be despite heartbreak.

People is a quiet triumph, but too quiet to be truly triumphant.

Earlier in the year a revival of ‘George III’ proved that twenty years on that piece still has legs. In 20 years a revival of ‘People’ ought to prove the same. His last play, ‘e Habit of Art’, was an opaque masterpiece, and this doesn’t achieve quite the same power; ‘People’s’ achievement is a more pleasurable one. ough few would hold it up as a literary landmark, ‘People’ deserves to be seen as a great work in 2012 and a great pleasure. One of Bennett’s greatest talents has always been to start debates under the noses of people expecting light, witty comedies.

‘People’ is the greatest example of this. Not a masterpiece, perhaps, but a masterful night at the theatre, and one of the most enjoyable things on the stage at the moment.

20

The Founder | Tuesday 15 January 2013

Music

Retro Records: ‘Meddle’ Pink Floyd

Interview: Swim Deep with Sara Hussein 2013 is set to be a big year for Brummy quartet Swim Deep. The Founder’s Sara Hussein managed to catch up with the lads last year to talk about their tour with Spector, their future album and the band’s messy nights out in B-town.

Hello Swim Deep. How are you guys?

Austin: Really excited, there’s a good vibe in the air.

You’ve been touring with Spector.

How has that been?

Austin: Great, Spector are an amazing band. We’ve played at pretty big venues with massive crowds. is is the biggest venue we played at, so it’s all been very exciting.

You guys are from Birmingham and recently there have been a lot of bands emerging, like Peace as well as you lads. How do you think Birmingham has developed musically?

Higgy: Birmingham has a really good music scene. It’s been shaken recently and its developed but it’s not quite on the frame yet. It’s like a Polaroid picture: everything’s getting arranged and people are about to pose for the photo.

What’s a typical lads’ night out in Birmingham?

Zach: It’s messy. We went out with Spashhh the other night and it was great. Was loads of fun. We went out to town to Snobs and we had a great time.

Scarlett Johansson.

King City’ opens with ‘I want to be everything that I’m not…’ What message are you trying to get across with that song?

Austin: It’s literally what the opening You’ve released your two singles says: you want to be something you’re ‘Seamus’, their only relatively straight ‘King City’ and ‘Honey’. Are you not; you want to go out with this hot Harun Musho’d excursion into blues music (apart aiming to release an album soon? star who’s in a band. from the dog howling); a nod to Cavan: We’re recording in November. Higgy: t it will be worth it… swing music with Waters’ untypically We’re going to Brussels for a few weeks Austin: It’s mainly about escapism… jaunty ‘San Tropez’; and their most ‘Dark Side of the Moon’, ‘e Wall’ and we’re going to record our the idea of getting away from everycollaborative track, ‘One of these and ‘Wish You Were Here’ may be new album. We’ll probably bring it out thing.

Days’ a largely instrumental piece prog rock group Pink Floyd’s best in June next year. written by the whole group whose known albums, but ‘Meddle’ (1971) Musical influences: favourite alwas the turning point of Pink Floyd’s only lyric “One of these days I’m goYou formed at the end of last year, bums/artists? career. It was the last time they wrote ing to cut you into little pieces” was how do you think these last few Zach: Tame Impala…‘Lonerism’. as a group but also the beginnings of spoken by drummer Nick Mason months have been?

Higgy: One of my favourite albums and was supposedly a threat to Radio bass player’s Roger Water’s domiZach: Incredibly quickly. We played has got to be Smashing Pumpkins’ nance as the group’s songwriter (the 2 DJ Jimmy Young whom the band at Great Escape festival and then eve- ‘Siamese Dream’. couldn’t stand (according to Roger only band member to write or corything kind of happened. We played Austin: Mine’s Lionel Ritchie and the Waters in 1987). write all of the tracks on ‘Meddle’). at a few small festivals: Knee Deep, Commodores.

It was the band’s first universally e centrepiece of the album - the Beacons Festival, which was huge, and Cavan: Mine’s probably ‘What Did side-long track ‘Echoes’ -is, arguably, critically acclaimed album since their a few others.

You Expect From the Vaccines?’ the best example of prog rock’s ability 1967 debut (‘Piper at the Gates of Dawn’ - largely the work of deto fuse popular music with avantYour single ‘King City’ features the Give us a little preview of the parted band member Syd Barrett) garde jazz to form a classical, and line: ‘I want to pretend that Jenny album. classy, piece of mood music, possibly and stands shoulder to shoulder Lee Lindsberg is my girlfriend’.

Austin: We’re going to stick to what with their three best known albums. the best piece of music Pink Floyd Despite the little crush on the bass- we’re composing now, this is the best However, the album cover art, of an ever recorded. ist from Warpaint, what does that time to write the album, because ear underwater, is, erm, not so well On the other side appear a few of line mean? right now we’re so excited and ready Pink Floyd’s more commercial songs: regarded.

Austin: She’s basically an example of a for it. boy’s wet dream - it’s about wanting to get with a girl. I’m saying this Swim Deep’s new single ‘Honey’ is from my own point of view where you out now.

Apologies to Josh Dedman from The Founder, whose excellent review of the want a girl calling you. But you can Rolling Stones, which appeared in Vol 7 Issue 4, was not accredited to him. change the lyrics about anyone… like

tf

An Apology

21

The Founder | Tuesday 15 January 2013

Music

Left to right: Beyoncé back in the studio, Haim, Angel Haze and winner of BBC Sound of 2013 Laura Mvula

Will 2013 bring music a little bit of luck?

Leeds are undergoing a revamp by offering greater musical variety with Eminem headlining and Alt-J, Sub Focus and Deones already anLooking back on music in 2012, one nounced. thing that stands out is the lack of If new music is more your thing, agreement on the best album of the the BBC Sound of 2013 has just been year; each publication (including The revealed. Its successful predictions Founder) has failed to agree upon for last year included Skrillex and an album the unites critiques to that Frank Ocean and previous winners same extent as Adele’s ‘21’. include the likes of Adele (2008), With any luck 2013 will buck the Ellie Goulding (2009) and Jessie J trend and produce an album worthy (2011). is year the BBC’s top five of remembrance, one we can all look (in reverse order) were Chvrches, back on in 20 years and say, “Oh Laura Mvula, Angel Haze, Aluna 2013, that was the year [insert band George with the trio of Californian name here] released their album”. sisters, Haim, topping the new music Am I overambitious for the New list. e list aims to showcase the Year? No I’m not. Relying on photo- best new acts for the year ahead and graphs uploaded onto her Instagram, is compiled using tips from 213 UKit seems Beyoncé has headed back based broadcasters, critics, editors to the studio. Arcade Fire are also and bloggers. ough what makes working on new material and Lady this year’s shortlist rather unique is that it’s overwhelmingly comprised Gaga is set to release her fourth of female acts. album in the spring. Glastonbury e Glasgow electro-pop trio ChFestival is back whilst Reading and

Katie Osmon Music Editor

vrches supported Passion Pit back in November having performed a mere nine shows ever before that. However, it’s Lauren Mayberry’s vulnerable delivery of the vocals that make their tunes imbued with distorted samples and synths remarkable.

fully craed and yet surprisingly simplistic. Mvula is without doubt the new face of popular jazz with her album due for release in March.

With a complete genre-change, the New York-based rapper Angel Haze came third on the BBC’s list. Her raw lyrics and suave beats caught the attention of journalists, but no tracks more so than Haze’s song ‘Cleaning Out My Closet’ in which she talks graphically about her experience of sexual abuse as a child. In interviews she’s claimed that she wants “people to know that anything is possible”; Haze’s resolution to succeed in spite of her life experiences take her music in directions rarely so frankly explored. e runners-up, Aluna George, combine R&B with electro-pop and In forth came Laura Mvula whose have been described as “thrilling enchanting voice is quite simply futuristic” by e Guardian followbreath-taking. e classically trained ing the release of their debut EP singer makes sophisticated jazzy soul ‘You Know You Like It’ in June last reminiscent of Amy Winehouse and year. e duo are certainly unlike Nina Simone. Her songs are beauti-

‘What makes this year’s Sound of 2013 shortlist unique is that it’s overwhelmingly comprised of female acts’

anything in the charts right now and bring with them a refreshing take on genres that had previously appeared increasingly exhausted.

Leading the BBC Sound of 2013 are Haim. Having already supported Florence and the Machine and Mumford and Sons, the sisters have already got a firm foothold here in the UK. All three girls can play guitar, drums and to top it off they can all sing too. Likened to Fleetwood Mac, Haim’s songs borrow from feelgood ‘70s rock whilst also engaging contemporary R&B rhythms for a modern composition.

All in all, the BBC Sound of 2013 list is promisingly varied with artists from across a range of genres and musical backgrounds. With this in mind, the year ahead is looking exciting as new musicians and some of the largest established acts are set to compete for chart success. Hopefully this is the year for a truly iconic album; only time will tell.

‘New Slang’: Indie Night-out, Kingston Josh Dedman Sick of hearing Rihanna and her cronies week in and week out at Medicine and the SU? See yourself slightly on the alternative walk of life? en liberation is only a short excursion away!

New Slang, an Indie night brought

to you by the guys at Banquet Records has for the past seven years hosted a wealth of rising and established acts at the intimate setting of McClusky’s in nearby Kingston. Past guests, many of which I have personally enjoyed, range from the indierock infused Vaccines and Wombats to the indie-pop Two Door Cinema Club and Metronomy – whatever

your indie tastes you will find a refuge at one of these nights.

Equally if you, like I, endeavour to seek out acts before they inevitably reach the big time, then New Slang have a knack at choosing some real winners. Acts like AlunaGeorge and Bastille, as well as our very own Harry Weskin’s band Filthy Boy have all charmed even the most

alternative of crowds and looking onward to 2013 see themselves sitting in hot-picks from the likes of NME, e Fly, BBC and iTunes.

All this for the small ticket fee of £6! Including a warm up act, headliner and if you have the stamina, a resident DJ blasting out Indie tunes until 2am, this night really does offer great value. Similarly student-friend-

ly deals on drinks are also available at £2.50/pint and £2.50/spirit+mix, and all in time to get the last train back to Egham (if you don’t stick around for the DJ that is) Whet your appetite? Why not try out their next act? Oxford’s very own Indie foursome Stornoway are set to play on the 21st February - See you there!

22

The Founder | Tuesday 15 January 2013

News

College News

Keeping safe Have your say Helen Groenendaal As most of you are aware, the College’s management team are working closely with Surrey County Council on ways to improve the safety of pedestrians who need to cross the main A30 road next to the campus.

You will have seen from a recent student eZine that the aim is to achieve some realistic improvements for the benefit of the whole community. The priority remains to reach agreement to get pedestrian phases put on the A30 east of the junction and St Jude’s Road linked with the installation of traffic islands at the junction. While negotiations and discussions take place, it is important to remind everyone to take steps to ensure safety on the road to prevent accidents and

injury. The footbridge over the road should be used at all times as it is currently the safest way to cross, removing you completely from the flow of traffic. We urge you not to use the road as a short cut or as an easy option. The road is clearly a very busy main route through the community and there are areas where it is difficult to judge how busy the road is and whether vehicles are approaching.

This only becomes more difficult in dark mornings and evenings.

We know it is an important issue impacting students and one that a significant number of you have strong views on, so we hope plans will progress over the next few months with the management team determined to keep working with SCC to create the safest possible environment for students, staff and local residents.

From 14 January, around 2,000 third and final year students at Royal Holloway will be invited to complete the National Student Survey (NSS) online at www.thestudentsurvey.com.

All eligible students will be emailed directly by Ipsos MORI inviting them to complete the survey online and the College is also sending personalised letters via academic departments.

Completing the survey should only take around five minutes to do and there are various initiatives being planned to encourage student participation. As an extra incentive to take part, we are offering all participants the chance to win an Apple iPad and a winner will be drawn in April by the Ipsos-MORI team.

By taking part in this independent survey our students will be sharing their individual academic experience to help inform future generations of students. The feedback from the survey will be pre-

sented online and ultimately it will also feed in to media league tables to provide a comparative overview of the learning experience at UK universities. The survey is also a useful opportunity to gather our students’ perceptions of academic life to help plan future developments and strategies.

Royal Holloway has a strong track record for achieving high student satisfaction among UK universities. In 2012, the overall student satisfaction rate was an encouraging 88%, our highest ever score. We continue to respond to student feedback and have recently implemented a range of innovations and improvements including extending student study spaces in the library, improving IT facilities and the quality of teaching rooms, refurbishing the Students’ Union and extending our graduate employability schemes.

Thanks for your support and we hope we can look forward to an even better response to the National Student Survey in 2013.

flickr/Meyrick Ames

Students wrap up term with Santa’s workshop More than 100 Royal Holloway students got into the Christmas spirit before the end of term, wrapping and sending out parcels stuffed with food and festive treats to elderly residents in the community.

From mince pies to perfumes and Christmas crackers, the volunteers prepared packages of seasonal gifts for more than 120 people who are isolated and vulnerable over Christmas.

“Our students have really got into the festive spirit this year”, said Phil Simcock, Community Action Volunteer Manager at Royal Holloway.

“Thanks to the enthusiasm shown by our volunteers, we brought some festive joy to those less fortunate than ourselves this Christmas.”

Now in its fourth year, the Santa’s Workshop initiative is a partnership between Royal Holloway’s Community Action team and Age

UK Runnymede and Spelthorne.

Since the start of December, staff and students had been donating items such as mince pies, yule logs, soaps, perfumes, biscuits and calendars.

On Wednesday, 12 December, student volunteers wrapped up the donations with a Christmas cracker and a personally written Royal Holloway Christmas card, to be delivered by Age UK. Members from a range of student groups gave their time to helping with the initiative, including the cheerleading squad, and ultimate frisbee, volleyball, and women’s football teams .

Indeed, Santa’s Workshop was one of many volunteering activities students had taken part in during the festive season. This included the Egham Rotary Club’s Christmas street collection and Oxfam’s Christmas shopping event.

In addition, the American football and women’s rugby teams

supported the Manor Farm Day Centre’s Christmas decorations and party, while Psychology students organised the Your Sanctuary charity’s children’s party. The Absolute Harmony singing group sung carols at the Englefield Green Christmas tree lights switch-on and the Dance Society performed at Merlewood Nursing Home. The Birchlands care home were treated to student ballroom and Latin dancers and Heathrow Special Needs Farm received a visit from the famous Choir of Royal Holloway.

Phil added: “Our festive activities are a fun way to volunteer while responding to requests for support from charities and community organisations. I am so impressed with the response we’ve had this year, and would like to thank everyone who has given their full support to these worthwhile projects.” flickr/paparutzi

The Founder | Tuesday 15 January 2013

If you would like to contribute to the next edition of The Founder, please send your submissions

• editor@thefounder.co.uk for general enquiries, or if you’d like to help with design.

• newsdesk@thefounder.co.uk for any news, or if you’d like to become a reporter.

• comment@thefounder.co.uk for features or articles for the Comment & Debate section.

• features@thefounder.co.uk for something that perhaps slips between the other sections • arts@thefounder.co.uk for the art exhibition or theatre reviews and art comment.

• film@thefounder.co.uk for the film reviews and cinema comment.

• music@thefounder.co.uk for the album or gig reviews and music comment.

• sports@thefounder.co.uk to submit match reports or sports club articles • pictures@thefounder.co.uk to submit your best photographs from campus and beyond

The next submissions deadline is Midnight Saturday 19th January

the founder

the independent student newspaper of royal holloway, university of london

23

24

The Founder | Tuesday 15 January 2013

Film

Jack Reacher

Yahoo

*****

to him, the character fades as the action goes on and remains a mystery for the viewer. Most of the characters Jack Reacher has anything you might are schematic and even stereotypical, but Robert Duvall as the owner want from a typical action film. It of firearms and ammunition store promises a conspiracy at the core of Martin Cash still gets the time to its plot, a protagonist with excellent help Reacher save Rosamund Pike’s fighting skills, an intriguing villain, defence lawyer Helen Rodin. Meancar chases and fight scenes. while, filmmaker Werner Herzog Christopher McQuarrie’s adaptamakes for a memorable villain with tion of Lee Child’s novel ‘One Shot’ delivers some interesting scenes such a dark past Klaus Kinski, also known as its very opening. A group of stran- as Zec, leaving us wishing we could have seen more from him. gers are gunned down in the street Visually the film looks as a great and the person, who is allegedly action film, with fight sequences responsible for the shooting has only where Cruise beats up a group of one request while in questioning – guys in a dark car park in just the ‘Get Jack Reacher’. This opening not blink of an eye.

However, apart from only keeps audiences at the edge of these action sequences, in scenes their seats but was probably part of where the mystery should unfold the reason why the film’s release was for the audience not much seems to postponed after the Newtown mashappen.

The plot includes a number sacre. of twists, which viewers might find When in 2011 it was announced interesting but the film delivers these that Tom Cruise will be portraying swiftly, without much fuss, probably Lee Child’s protagonist Jack Reacher this caused slight upheaval amongst to mirror its protagonist’s coolness and failing to engage. fans since Cruise doesn’t entirely fit On the overall, Jack Reacher is an the character description. Therefore, action film with some great thrillthis makes us think that Reacher ing fight scenes. However, since is not about appearances but about these are fairly generic, the film may presence. Although the opening quickly lose its audiences since it is (consisting of shots and scenes with indecisive whether to fully reveal its little to no dialogue) attempts to set protagonist or unfold the motives for the scene for Cruise’s appearance as the shooting in the beginning.

Reacher and other people’s reactions

Zlatina Nikolova Film Editor

Yahoo

The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey Thomas Hardesty

The Christmas holidays are a season of surprises, whether it is drama on Christmas day or the foreboding deadlines that you have put aside until they suddenly come back as you return to Egham for the second term. For films, it delights both film critics and the general movie-going audience; Oscar contenders start to emerge in the run-up to the awards season, and the holiday blockbusters also appear, but which category does The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey fit into? Peter Jackson’s previous trilogy stormed the awards and was also a success with the public.

A glance at what the critics had to say and your hopes of another great trilogy (yes, they’re making three) might start to look sour. While Jackson’s previous efforts with King

Kong and The Lovely Bones seemed to have faded from memory, his return to the fantasy world of Middle Earth, while adjusted to match the tone of the book, sees him on familiar territory where he appears to be more comfortable.

‘There is a sense that Jackson somewhat struggled in spreading a 300 page book into three films...’

Adapted from a book of around 300 pages, The Hobbit: An Unex-

pected Journey is part 1 in the first of three films as Bilbo Baggins assists 13 dwarves who have lost their homeland due to a dragon and wish to reclaim it. For those who have seen The Lord of the Rings but have not read The Hobbit, they may want to note that this was written with Tolkien’s children in mind. As a result what we see is a considerably lighter depiction of Middle Earth, which is reflected in the tone and the somewhat childish humour. However, the action scenes are just as exciting as the trilogy before, be it somewhat more violent than what I was expecting from a more child-friendly film as severed heads roll across battlefields.

To reflect the lighter tone, Jackson removes the prosthetic make-up from the orcs and other creatures in

favour of CGI and motion-capture.

While the film is undoubtedly visually impressive, the consistent use of CGI removes a sense of gravitas from the story.

That said, in front of all the CGI is a brilliant performance by Martin Freeman as Bilbo. The supporting cast are also fantastic, particularly Richard Armitage as the lead dwarf, Thorin Oakenshield. The script is also really good, leaving you invested until next December for part two.

However, if I am to make another complaint, there is a sense that Jackson somewhat struggled in spreading a 300 page book into three films and, as a result, the conclusion feels somewhat forced. While this does hinder the film from being everything fans had hoped it to be, there are many

great moments such as the much talked about scene with Gollum, owing much to Andy Serkis’ flawless performance.

The slight alterations from the book shouldn’t bother fans, and the added inclusion of the Necromancer teases the audience with what is to come next, hopefully justifying the need for three films instead of two. While not the perfect film fans hoped it to be, Jackson manages to make 169 minutes pass by in a flash, leaving the audience with a taste for more, which can only be a good thing.

*****

25

The Founder | Tuesday 15 January 2013

Film

The Top 5 Most Underrated Modern American Comedies great chemistry. There are also wonderful cameos from Brandon Routh and Justin Long as a gay couple who nearly steal the film. The highlight, Late December saw the release of Pitch Perfect, a badass version of Glee however,3 comes from Smith regular Jeff Anderson who participates here that was barely able to make the top in one of the best structured poop 5 in the UK box office. This is a real jokes I’ve ever seen. The film has real tragedy as the film was easily one of heart and deep belly laughs, you can the funniest of 2012 and will now tell Smith is still invested in his work sadly sink without a trace. at this point (for an example of an This is a common trend with univested Kevin Smith, look at 2010s recent American comedies as it just Cop Out) and whilst it tails off at the seems British audiences won’t give them a try (yet we are the nation that end, it didn’t deserve to fizzle out made Nativity 2: Danger in the Man- without an audience. ger a hit and still champion Miranda 4. Mystery Team Hart as a truly funny comedienne).

So here is a list of 5 recent American Derrick Comedy makes their transition from YouTube to the big screen comedies that might have slipped with Mystery Team, a smart take on past you that you should really give kid detective movies that asks “What a try. if the kids never really grew up?”

Starring a team of nobody you’re 5. Zack & Miri Make a Porno likely to have heard of before (Troy Don’t be put off by its crude title; this one is actually surprisingly from Community and the girl from Safety Not Guaranteed are the biggest sweet. Seth Rogen and Elizabeth names involved), it’s not odd that this Banks star as the titular characters one might have missed your radar in Kevin Smith’s ode to the X-Rated genre. Whilst not the subtlest of films (that, and it never got a UK release, there’s still lots to laugh at as Smith’s but it’s out there). dialogue is wonderfully delivered What the film lacks in its cinematic

by Rogen & Banks, who also share a qualities, it makes up for with the

Jack Gregson

flickr/Officer Phil

Seth Rogen, star of 2008 comedy ‘Zack and Miri Make a Porno’.

TV Review: Homeland breaks ‘Jumping the Shark’ record

performances of its 3 leads and jokes that just don’t stop coming.

3. Observe & Report Jody Hill’s brilliantly dark follow up to his indie hit The Foot Fist Way never got the attention it deserved.

Bizarrely over shadowed by the wildly inferior Paul Blart: Mall Cop, Seth Rogen makes his second appearance on the list as mall security guard Ronnie who takes his job a tad too seriously.

The film could be considered as Seth Rogen’s The Cable Guy, a usually likeable comedian goes a little deeper and darker that the mainstream audience just won’t get, but anyone who’s not afraid of a little grit to go with their comedy will find great laughs here. With allusions to Taxi Driver and wonderful supporting roles from Anna Faris, Ray Liotta and Michael Peña, it is not one to miss.

TVlistings

(given that the Pentagon is shown to ask guests to give up their mobile phones, how did first term Conow did season two of Homegressman, and secret terrorist Nick land get a score of 96/100 on Brody [Damian Lewis] get in with metacritic.com, a site that collects his mobile to warn Nazir– indeed, and averages out reviews from other how did he manage to get in there sources and is usually a reliable at all); or plot absurdities (the whole indicator of quality? Judging by the business of Brody’s killing of the individual reviews it appears to have vice-president using a serial number achieved its acclaim on the basis to his pacemaker). And these are just of the acting, the deservedly fond examples. memories critics had of Season One, On the positive side, the acting and the fact that metacritic.com col- is universally of a high standard, lected its reviews early in the Season particulary from the show’s two Two run. stars, Lewis and Claire Danes (playBy the time that season’s finale had ing sometime CIA agent Carrie aired in December, many reviewers Mathison) , and I had little trouble were far less kind to the show. Even with the love story aspect of the show the positive reviews (e.g. USA Today) in terms of believability, even if I felt some of the story lines lacked doubt the wisdom of focussing the 2. Walk Hard: The Dewey Cox Story credibility. At the other extreme, show on that element of the story.

In 2007, Judd Apatow was on a role, both the major Irish broadsheets Some individual episodes work well having directed Knocked Up and thought the show “had jumped the , particularly the mid-season episode produced Superbad, it seemed like shark” (a reference to the scene in ‘The Clearing’ (directed by John nothing could stop this man working the sitcom Happy Days where The Dahl, a highly underrated director on hits, then Walk Hard came out Fonz jumps over a shark tank on his of some superb early 90s film noirs and bombed! Walk Hard: The Dewey motorbike, thus marking the point Red Rock West and The Last SeducCox Story is a parody of musical where the show deteriorated, and tion - and a veteran of TV shows biopics in the style of Scary Movie, now shorthand for the point where True Blood, Battlestar Galactica and except this one is actually funny. any series turns from great to bad).

Breaking Bad).

John C. Reilly offers an incredibly In-between were reviews like the What is tragic is that there was a committed performance as Cox and Guardian’s “less clever” than the first fundamentally clever spy and terroris supported by a cavalcade of come- season. ist plot waiting to reveal itself, but it dians who all bring their A games.

Season One of Homeland was bril- was brutally underwritten in favour The songs are hysterical and so is the liantly plotted, in part because it was of the emerging love story between film, a perfect treat for anyone who based on a successful Israeli series Brody and Carrie. Given that Homethough Walk the Line and Ray were Hatufim (English title: ‘Prisoners of land is still highly regarded by many overblown pieces of Oscar bait.

War’). Season Two is an original plot, critics and has just won a clutch of and the multiple flaws show, whether Emmys (albeit for the first season of 1. Stuck on You it is: plot illogicalities (Abu Nazir the show) it is unlikely to be canThe Farrelly brothers know how to [Navid Negahban], an Al-Quaida celled just yet. However, it has its make you laugh, it’s that simple for leader working with Hezbollah? – In work cut out to survive beyond Seathem. Shooting to fame with There’s real life the two organisations hate son Three. It is unusual for a series to Something About Mary and Dumb & each other); plot inconsistencies ‘jump the shark’ quite so quickly.

Dumber, this was the first time a film of theirs truly failed to find an audience. Focusing on conjoined brothers Bob (Matt Damon) and Walt (Greg Kinnear) on a trip to Hollywood, this was a literal bromance.

The film never chastises the main characters for their condition, in fact it celebrates their difference in a way that many films would find hard to do. Damon and Kinnear both show strong comedic chops whilst The Farrelly’s are able to show us how important brotherhood is. The laughs are real and so is the heart (even if the liver is shared between flickr/starbright31 the brothers).

Harun Musho’d

H

Leads of ‘Homeland’ Damien Lewis and Claire Danes.

Sport The Bundesliga A Model for Success? owners, on hand to inject capital into their vanity project as and when it’s needed. In an era where, more than ever before, money decides who will succeed and who will fail, how has ootball is cyclical. Nations rise and fall in terms of their a league in which fans must own at least 51% of a club’s shares reclaimed prominence and relevance its place as one of Europe’s elite on the international stage. leagues?

The decade following the 2001 In the Bundesliga only two clubs Champions league was a prolonged are historically exempt from the so period of irrelevance for clubs in called ’50 plus one rule’ (the legislaGermany, who mustered two final tion which states that fans must own appearances (Bayer Leverkeusen in at least 50 % ‘plus one’ of football 2002 and perennial hopefuls Bayern clubs): Bayer Leverkusen (owned by Munich in 2010), losing both. Eupharmaceutical giants Bayer) and rope’s elite competition was domiWolfsburg, owned

by Volkswagen, nated during those years by teams who earned the right to finance their from Spain, England and Italy, and respective clubs by supporting them consequently La Liga, the Premierfinancially for at least 20 years. ship, and to a slightly lesser exThe reality is that fan ownership is tent Serie A, were labelled ‘Europe’s what keeps German teams competibest leagues’, a horribly subjective tive.

Ostensibly handicapped by their and ultimately meaningless term. inability to court wealthy owners Meanwhile the Bundesliga was to bankroll their ventures into the viewed in much the same way as transfer market, German teams have France’s Ligue 1 or Portugal’s Primeihad to pursue other means to remain ra Liga, that is to say as the cut price competitive. The most obvious solualso-rans of European football. The tion was to focus on the production German phoenix has risen from of ‘homegrown talent’, players who the ashes however; the 2012-13 are signed to youth contracts and champions league last 16 features train from a young age with the club. three teams from Germany. OutBorussia Dortmund, last season’s side favourites Bayern Munich and Bundesliga champions, present an Borussia Dortmund will be joined excellent case study. Within their

by Schalke, who qualified top of a ranks you’ll find a veritable feast of group featuring Arsenal, as well as young German talent: Marco Reus last season’s champions of France and Mats Hummels are two of the and Greece. country’s most promising young It’s a rather sad indictment of players, while the club also boasts football in this country that anyone the likes of Illkay Gündogan, Kevin should be surprised by the success of Grosskreutz, Sven Bender and Mario clubs who lack their own billionaire

Theo Chiles Sports Editor

F

Götze, who has been at the club since 2001 and whose £30 million release clause has done little to dissuade his army of suitors. None of these players is older than 24.

Since Dortmund aren’t competing against teams with significantly greater spending power (with the possible exception of Bayern Munich) they have had the opportunity to put together a team of locally sourced young Germans without the threat of their domestic competition poaching their players with the offer of significantly higher wages.

It’s a sad indictment of football in this country that anyone should be surprised by the success of clubs who lack billionaire owners on hand to inject capital into their vanity project as and when it’s needed.

Young players usually translates to lower wages as well; German clubs pay less than 50% of revenue in players wages, the continent’s lowest figure. The culture of sensible wages extends beyond young players however, running right through German

football at all levels. The most recent data available puts the Premier League at 62%. In France that figure is 71%.

The equal footing that German teams find themselves on also make for greater competition: since 2003, 5 different teams have captured at least 1 Bundesliga title, a list that includes Werder Bremen, Stuttgart and Wolfsburg, while runners up also include Bayer Leverkusen and Schalke 04.

The DFB-Pokal, Germany’s domestic cup competetion, has been won by 5 different teams since 2007.

Without the heavy spending that one associates with almost every other league in Europe, German teams are in a significantly stronger financial position than most teams in other countries. A report from Deloitte in May of last year revealed that Premier League sides held a collective debt of £2.4 billion, while barely two years ago players in Spain were threatening to strike over unpaid wages. Contrast this fact with a report from 2010 that disclosed that of the 18 Bundesliga teams, ‘11 of the clubs are now in the black.’

A stronger financial base combined with a majority fan ownership means one thing: lower ticket prices.

In an interview in 2010, Bundesliga chief executive Christian Seifert remarked that "It is not in the clubs' culture so much [to raise prices].

They are very fan orientated. The Bundesliga has €350m less per season than the Premier League in matchday revenues. But you could not from one day to another triple

prices.”

Tickets in Borussia’s ‘yellow wall’, their fabled 26,000 capacity stand at their stadium, the Westfalenstadion, are typically little more than £15.

Moreover, says Seifert, "many clubs limit the percentage of season tickets, for instance Borussia Dortmund, Schalke 04, Hamburg, Bayern Munich. They want to give more fans the chance to watch games live. If you have 80%, 100% then it is all the same people in the stadium. Also in Germany the guest club has the right to 10% of the tickets for its fans.”

Consequently the Bundesliga attracts by far the most fans to its stadiums on matchday, more than any other league in Europe. The average attendance for a Premier League game in 2011-12 was 34,601.

In Spain, 30,274, and in Italy a profoundly depressing 23,459. In Germany the average attendance at a Bundesliga game last season was 45,179.

Lower wages, lower ticket prices, greater financial stability, fan ownership, greater competition; these are the rewards on offer for supporting a side in Germany’s top tier of domestic football. It’s small wonder that German teams are starting to make waves in Europe too. Legendary German coach Sepp Herberger once said: “If you don't know where to pass the ball, just put it in the goal”. This same pragmatism is still in evident in Germany’s attitude towards its favourite game, and it’s paying greater dividends with every passing week. flickr/Werner Kunz

Bayern Munich’s home stadium, the Allianz Arena.

American Football Success in Women’s Flag Debut

Sport

The Founder’s Predictions for Sport... ...in Richard Chud

2013!

February: Super Bowl, American football. Sixty minutes of football is squeezed somewhere into the middle of six hours of the Black Eyed Peas performing their greatest hit (Surely ‘hits’? Sports Ed).

Feb/March: Six Nations, rugby union. After long and irate protests from the Germans and Spanish who resent their continued exclusion, the RBS eight nations kicks off. After twenty minutes, the Germans and Spanish see first-hand exactly what it was that they were missing and hastily leave, taking Scotland and Italy with them. Wales wins the 2013 RBS four nations.

April: Grand National, horse racing. With some 100 million Americans tuning in on the wireless, a reanimated Seabiscuit gives a nation still reeling from the great recession a reason to hope again by winning the Grand National while running with only three legs, in an otherwise uneventful race.

May: Champions League final, football. After the final is won by Barcelona/Real Madrid, Messi/Ronaldo is declared the world’s greatest player by all (delete as appropriate). FA Cup final, football. For the first time since Millwall in 2003/4, a lower league team reaches the final; fans nationwide await the greatest ‘cupset’ since Luton Town beat Arsenal the 1988 League Cup final. Unsurprisingly, like Millwall, the underdogs are promptly battered by one of Chelsea/Manchester United/Manchester City. Asked for his thoughts, Arsenal manager Arsene Wenger declares that trophies are redundant and should be eliminated from football.

June: Stanley Cup, NHL. The National Hockey League fails to end the disagreement between players and team owners, meaning that not a single ice hockey game was played in 2012/13. With the sport’s ultimate prize, the Stanley Cup, just weeks away, officials decide that the fairest way to decide who will compete for it is a 30 team battle royale, entitled ‘Blood on the Ice’. After 36 hours of unabated fighting and with even diehard hockey fans growing weary of the violence, the season is declared a write off.

July: Wimbledon, tennis. Andy Murray wins Wimbledon. No, really.

From left to right: Sara Jones, Briana Cacuci, April Heath, Margaux Pascual, Alexia Mallet, Calyx Schentrup, Sophia-Rose Chatir and Sophie Hamon. Photo: Daniel Capon.

Jim Heron-Nott The 1st of December 2012, saw the BUAFL national women's flag football tournament held at the university of Hertfordshire. This was the first taste of competition for the bears women's flag squad, after having to withdraw from competition in the summers tackle tournament due to logistical issues.

The day started with the Holloway being drawn to play the tournaments only other rookie team from the University of Warwick. There was certainly an element of both teams finding their feet in the early stages of the game. But the bears quickly established their dominance on offence, led by quarterback Chloé Bâton, scoring open the opening drive with a pitch to running back Calyx Schentrup. The final score of the

game was 14-12 to Royal Holloway.

Having found their feet Holloway where then drawn to play Southampton, of whom expectations where high despite having the smallest squad of the day. In similar fashion to the first game, the offence quickly found their stride putting up 19 points, including a perfect pass from Chloé to wide receiver April Heath.

The defence only allowed a single touchdown, denying Southampton their conversion. The final score was 19-6.

Coming off their second win, with their eyes on the final. Holloway asserted their dominance, spreading the ball around on offence as well as continuing the powerful running game to score 3 offensive touchdown, with the addition of an interception returned for a touchdown by April Heath. The final score was 26-14 to Holloway.

The final draw for Royal Holloway to play was the Hertfordshire Tornadoes. The only other undefeated team on the day and also the undefeated champions in the tackle tournament in the summer. Holloway took the early lead with both teams trading unsuccessful scoring drives, in a battle of tough defences.

Hertfordshire took the lead with only enough time for Holloway to attempt one more drive. The offence marched up field to Hertfordshires 5 yard line, but Holloways pass fell incomplete as time expired. The final score was 13-18 to Hertfordshire.

The day ended with Hertfordshire placing first and Holloway second, with Calyx Schentrup being named as the tournaments MVP for her outstanding performance. Attention for the ladies American Football squad now turns to the BUAFL contact tournament taking place in March.

July/August: The Ashes, cricket. Alastair Cook, afflicted by the great curse of English politeness and modesty, can’t bear to place himself ahead of anyone else in the batting order. England average 90 runs and suffer a humiliating 5-0 series whitewash; the natural order is resumed.

August: Premiership season, football. After a summer of gripping sporting action that has fans glued to their seats, Britain breathes a collective sigh of relief when the only sport that they really cared about finally gives their weekends meaning again.

September: Ryder Cup, golf. An historic and well-loved sporting event is once again ruined by fans who continue to yell ‘get in the hole!’ long after it has stopped being funny (i.e. after the first player tees off). Fans making the trip from across the pond wow their European counterparts with their sartorial versatility as they manage to construct every conceivable type of clothing out of American flags.

October: World Series, Baseball. For one glorious week Americans remember that baseball is still, technically, their national pastime. But when it’s revealed that neither team competing is the Red Sox or the Yankees, Americans are angered and confused, before reassuring themselves that they always much preferred the NFL. November: All sports. Professional sportsmen and women suffer an existential crisis when they realise that nothing they do really matters, that all success is ephemeral and inconsequential, and that their lives are given meaning by their profession, it ultimately contributes nothing to a world now heading irrevocably towards disaster.

December: All sports. The crisis passes. 2013 calendar repeats ad infinitum.

the founder needs you!

We are currently looking to fill the positions of:

Deputy News Editor Deputy Comment and Debate Editor Subeditor Designer If youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re interested, just e-mail editor@thefounder.co.uk for more information.

No experience required!