Searching for the Unicorn of Work-Life Balance

Searching for the Unicorn

of Work-Life Balance

by Kristen Horler, MS

For several years I heard working moms talk about ‘achieving worklife balance.’ So, like most working moms, I searched for it, only to feel like an absolute failure over and over again. I read books and articles and spent hours with my leadership coach, trying to find the secret to being a wife, mom, and

CEO, without losing my mind and losing myself.

On Monday, I yelled at the kids for being late as we left the house for school. On Tuesday, I could not find two minutes to speak to my husband. On Wednesday, I was

stuck in traffic and showed up late for a meeting. On Thursday, I was too tired to make dinner and we put frozen pizzas in the oven. The list of apparent mom failures continued on and on. I wanted to be present for my children, have time to connect with my husband, make dinner for our family and get us all

to sit at the table together when we ate. The irony was I also juggled the demands as CEO of a franchise dedicated to fitness & nutrition programs for moms. My business is focused on family-first and helping moms achieve work-life balance. How could I help moms if I was struggling with finding balance in my life?

In 2018, I experienced significant loss for the first time. In less than a year, I lost my grandmother, my younger brother, and my parents divorced. At the same time, my husband’s parents were going

through significant health issues in England, resulting in additional travel and stress for our family. The unexpected gift of loss for me was the realization that something is better than nothing. I spent most of my adult life not knowing that I was setting myself up for disappointment. I have expectations of myself that are…can I say it…unattainable.

While eating together as a family is a priority for me, it’s not a priority for my two teenagers or my husband. Just me. I value having a few minutes together at the end of the

day to catch up and connect. I also know that our oldest child will be leaving for college in six months and our time with our youngest child is limited, so I’m holding on to every moment with them. So, when I declared to my family that we were going to start having dinners together six days a week, they complained and came up with every excuse to get out of it. But, I was committed, and I stuck to my goal. Within the first week, the rest of the family discovered what I (clearly) already knew; we really enjoyed spending time together! However, by week three, when I had work

deadlines rapidly approaching, I discovered that something had to give. Either my work was going to sacrifice or my sanity.

So, as any experienced CEO does, I asked for help. My 18-year-old daughter agreed to make dinner one night a week and my husband said he would help with two more nights. Then, my daughter had the audacity to suggest that we cut back on the number of nights we ate together. I was horrified. How could she say that?!? But, I also knew that I couldn’t keep going at this pace.

It was at that point that I did the unimaginable; I lowered my expectations. We began to have dinner at the table two to three times a week instead of six. Since we didn’t always have the energy to go out at the end of a busy week, my husband and I started to discover different ways of enjoying date night, even if it was a trip to Costco together on a Tuesday night.

out amazing but turn into afternoons that feel like everything is falling apart. There are days that you are on cloud nine and you know you can change the world, and there are days where you question yourself and your decisions. The important thing is to have clarity in your priorities, stay true to your values, and be intentional in all that you do.

In my decade-long attempt to achieve work-life balance, I realized that there isn’t a golden ticket. Just like building a franchise system, there are ups and there are downs. There are successes and there are failures. There are days that start

I remain adamant about no phones at the dinner table and no work after 6:30 p.m. I try to be fully present with my family and friends, and I am still trying to find joy in being ‘lazy’ and eating pizza on the couch with my husband.

Kristen Horler is a recovering overachiever who is learning to let more stuff go that is not aligned with her priorities and goals. As a former pastry chef turned fitness professional, Kristen created Baby Boot Camp shortly after her first child was born in August 2001. After extensive research, she was unable to find an effective workout that didn’t require hiring a personal trainer and a babysitter. Drawing from her experience as a fitness professional and new mom, Kristen developed Baby Boot Camp to balance the fitness needs of new moms. Kristen is passionate about food, fitness, and inspiring wellness. She enjoys cooking, spending time with her family, and traveling. Visit www.babybootcamp.com to learn more.