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Mourning the Mother I Would Never Be
By Charisse Glenn
“That she bear children is not a woman’s significance. But that she bear herself, that is her supreme and risky fate.” D.H. Lawrence
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grandkids. She confessed, although happy to have had my was not the woman who went starry-eyed when I brother and me, if she were to do it again, having children saw a baby. However, I always thought I would be an would not be in the picture. Instead, her concentration amazing mother. My maternal and caretaking instincts would have been on her career and her sense of spiritual were honed. The comment “You’ll be a great mom,” was and personal fulfillment. shared amongst friends, and in my mind, I knew it to be The freedom from her lack of pressure allowed me to make true. my own decisions regarding motherhood. Her lead took I romanticized the idea of being an awesome pregnant me down the path she had wished for herself. bikini-clad woman walking on the beach, a beautiful and I am the generation of women who believed we could have smooth nine-month blip in time. it all. We bought into the propaganda we could get an So what happened that I did not fulfill this apparent education, have successful careers, and put off having destiny? children well into our 40’s. No problem. Raised by a liberal single mother, her focus was not on It was not entirely true. www.thefrankmagazine.com
