10 minute read
Life Inspiration
BECOMING MEMORY MAKERS
There is beauty in learning to be present, in creating memories within even the smallest moments. Just like most things in life, it is an active choice that my husband and I knowingly work to make with this story we are writing as a family.
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BY TABITHA BLUE | PHOTOGRAPHY BY BRIONY SKERJANCE
We recently started back at the chiropractor again. No pun intended on the use of the word back. So, what does the chiropractor have to do with little moments and baking our favorite cookies in the kitchen? It all has to do with the word little.It’s amazing the impact some of the smallest things in our lives have on the outcome of our lives. Take the back for example, and more specifically, the spine. Each little bone, every nerve, the smallest of parts allow the flow of essential nutrients and information to and from what could be considered the most important and essential parts of the body.
A minor tweak here, a small movement there and you’re left with either optimum performance or an inhibited experience.
In life, the little moments, the smallest of things make up the backbone of our lives and experiences. They are the sum of our living, breathing parts. And little moments are the things that come and go in a flash. We can easily wish them away or hurry through because they’re taking time or energy from what could be considered the most important parts of our existence, but I dare to say that a little tweak here and a minor adjustment there can make them some of the most memorable, noteworthy and the very strength or backbone of that existence.
You see, when we go through the large moments in life, whether a mountain top point in our lives or the lowest of lows… what we’re made of, what we’ve invested in ourselves during the small, simple moments, the strength of who we are, our backbone, shows through. It’s what raises us back up or conversely, what helps us pull others up to the top of the mountain with us.
So, my challenge, my question, is this… what are you doing with the little moments?
RECIPE
One of our go-to family Sugar Cookie recipes is an old school one from Betty Crocker. It’s simple and delicious. For a summer twist we like to add a medley of diced fresh fruit on top.
⅔ cup shortening
¾ cup granulated sugar
1 teaspoon vanilla
1 egg
4 teaspoons milk
2 cups sifted all-purpose flour
1½ teaspoons baking powder
¼ teaspoon salt
Thoroughly cream shortening, sugar and vanilla together. Add egg and milk; beat till light and fluffy. Sift together dry ingredients; blend into creamed mixture. Divide dough in half. Cover and chill at least 1 hour. On lightly floured surface, roll to ⅛ inch thickness. Cut into desired shapes. Bake on ungreased cookie sheet at 375° about 8 to 10 minutes. Cool slightly; remove. This makes about 3 dozen.
A DASH OF FUN
It’s all about building connection in every moment, whether they are the small in-between times or the epic life altering times. There are an endless number of ways to master being present. Here are a few that we do our best to practice.
1. Don’t just look. Really see.
2. Don’t do it all alone. Make a way for everyone to be involved.
3. Don’t assume. Take the time to ask questions… and then actually listen.
4. Don’t wait with an answer. Really listen BEFORE responding.
MEMORIES
“Guard well your spare moments. They are like uncut diamonds. Discard them and their value will never be known. Improve them and they will become the brightest gems in a useful life.” Ralph Waldo Emerson
When we look at the word spare as a noun, the value becomes less… it’s an extra thing, something not needed, excess. Alternatively, when we change our view of the limited number of minutes and moments around us and look at the word spare as a verb, the value inherently changes. The word itself metamorphoses into dealing gently with, a refrain from harming and a setting aside of those precious minutes we have – truly creating moments that become memories.
THREE THINGS THAT COULDDESTROY YOUR MARRIAGE
By Christopher Blue | Photography by Briony Skerjance
It’s time for some real talk.
In our years as a married couple, and as life coaches, we’ve found that there are a few KEY ways to ruin a marriage... which means avoiding these pitfalls are key to a flourishing relationship! I’m going to spill the goods here in the hopes that as we all recognize what NOT to do, it can help in our efforts toward building a lasting, healthy marriage!
Don’t talk to your spouse!
This is a major marriage ruiner. When it comes to healthy relationships, communication is everything! One of the top reasons for marriage failure is miscommunication. Remember this… perception is reality. Each person in the marriage sees things, situations, and problems differently. The best way to combat this is to communicate exactly what you are seeing, feeling and understanding, and then LISTEN. Your spouse, contrary to your desire, is not a mind reader. Tell him/her the way you feel and make sure you’re actually listening and hearing what they are saying when they share how they feel. Put yourself in your spouse’s shoes. He/she may not have all the information you do. Give them a chance to understand where you are coming from. So, work hard at learning to listen and talk to your spouse. Your marriage depends on it.
Don’t talk about money!
Money is listed as one of the biggest causes for fights in marriages today. The handling, or mishandling, of money can easily lead to communication problems if we don’t address the issues. When we are married, we are in a covenant with our spouse through the good, the bad and the ugly. Unfortunately, many marriages start out in debt and the stress and pressure of lack of funds make it go downhill from there. With the average household holding around $20,000 in debt, it’s no wonder this is a big cause for divorce in the U.S. We need to clearly address how money is handled and come to a position of unity in our marriages. Money has to be discussed. If you haven’t discussed this and are married, a simple suggestion is to find common ground and even attend a financial class or seminar to help you get on the same page. Don’t let money, or the lack thereof, tear your marriage apart.
Don’t talk about sex!
Salt ‘n Pepa said it in the 1991 “Let’s talk about sex.” Sex is a very intimate act. It is a sign of your covenant with your spouse. It is a time when you are both most vulnerable and trusting of the other. When we misunderstand its importance in marriage, it will begin to wear your marriage down and end it. We have to be diligent to protect our sex lives in marriage. There are so many distractions in life that interfere with our ability to be intimate with our spouse. Sex can feel like heaven or hell depending on the individual. If we are not careful, we separate sex as merely a physical part of our lives though it is so much more than that. Men will compartmentalize this in the marriage, but women will have a tendency to tie it into every other aspect of marriage.
Once again, it comes back to communication as it bleeds into sexual discussion. We must be able to talk about our desires, our likes and dislikes in the bedroom with our spouse.
If you are aware of the importance of these three things in your marriage, that all truly lead back to communication with each other, you will be far above the average. Marriage isn’t without a little work – and prayer and faith – though I believe when you put in the time and effort, your marriage can truly be Heaven on Earth.
THE JUGGLE STRUGGLE
BY TABITHA BLUE | PHOTOGRAPHY BY BRIONY SKERJANCE
Balance. It’s a word we all know, and something we all strive for. But here’s the thing, balance is elusive.
In the trifecta of work, family and self, I sometimes refer to the “balance” of it all as the juggle struggle. Many times we struggle to juggle all of the balls that we're trying to keep in the air. We think balance is evenly maintaining each one.
But living a balanced life doesn’t mean juggling everything with equal time, focus and attention. For each of us, how the word plays out in our lives looks completely different. And that’s where the juggle doesn’t have to be a struggle.
When we can see balance as a fluid concept in our lives, shuffling the priority from one thing to another instead of evenly trying to hold each thing up, we can find the balance we desire without the guilt of “dropping the ball”. Our priority is what is maintained and held up in each and every season of our lives.
For many of us, the over arching priority will shift seasonally. Especially with young children in the home, one of my top priorities is family (and it will always be), but in this season of life, it looks a little different. Having family as a priority with a house full of young kids will utilize a bit more of my time and attention then when they are grown into their own season of self-sufficiency. For me, it’s also a season of priority on my brand and business. A time of growth and opportunity, a period of creative learning and growing… and it means that in order to maintain that whole growing ball, it needs time and attention as well!
What’s crazy is that the priorities for each can shift daily, or sometimes hourly. I like to schedule out time for work where I can truly focus, knowing that someone else (usually my husband) has his priority on the kids and family at that moment. Alternatively, knowing that I’ve prioritized time in my day for my family, without the distraction of electronics or work conversations is something that’s become important to me, to my kids and for our sanity as a big family.
For the longest time, and goodness I’m STILL working on this, I thought that if only I had more time, if I got up earlier, stayed up later, learned to multi-task better (another falsity, there is no such thing as TRULY multi-tasking, but that’s for another time,) fit a little more into the crevices of my time, then I could be more successful, more accomplished and truly do it all. I felt that if I did more, then I would always be that much closer to achieving my dreams, while having the perfect home, meal plan, etc.
As it turns out, I was focusing on the wrong thing. Taking the struggle out of the juggle of it all isn’t about managing time, but rather, managing priorities. Finding balance isn’t about finding the time to give to everything in an equal and fair measure, but even more importantly for our own growth and quality of life, it’s about deciding what priorities get the time that we have and feeling confident that our focus is spent on what’s most important to the season of life we’re in.
So, today, I’m going to give a challenge (because it’s something I’m doing myself) and I hope you’ll join me! Let’s see how scheduling your priorities can help bring a sense of balance and peace to the juggle that you manage. For the next couple of weeks, pay attention to what takes up your time and adjust your schedule to your priorities, instead of just trying to prioritize your schedule, because when that happens it ends up filling with everyone else's priorities as well. I’d LOVE to hear what difference it makes in your life!
Share your thoughts with me via email (hello@freshmommyblog.com) or on social media, you can find me @TabithaBlue. Don't forget to use the Hashtag #thejugglestruggle too and let’s see how scheduling your priorities can jumpstart your productivity and quality of life!
