The Georgia Straight - Pets in Condos - March 11, 2021

FREE | MARCH 11 – 18 / 2021 Volume 55 | Number 2769

COASTAL DANCE

Vancouver animal lawyer Rebeka Breder says the legal landscape is evolving in favour of four-legged companions

Honouring an elder

SPRING BREAK Keeping kids occupied

PETS IN CONDOS STRIPPERS UNION

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GUINNESS IRISH STEW

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ST. PAUL’S HOSPITAL

NEWS

CONTENTS

Medical assistance in dying not allowed at new hospital

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By Carlito Pablo Cover photo by Jonathan Cruz

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By Steve Newton

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FOOD

In advance of St. Patrick’s Day, we serve up a tasty recipe for Guinness Irish Stew, courtesy of chef Jasmin Porcic.

By Craig Takeuchi

This is a rendering of the new St. Paul’s Hospital being built on Station Street in Vancouver.

That prompted the B.C. Humanist Association’s executive director, Ian Bushfield, to question why Dix continued allowing an exemption for other faith-based health organizations.

“Patients seeking MAID [medical assistance in dying] in these facilities are forced to endure an excruciating transfer from their home to realize their rights,” Bushfield said on the association’s website.

“These forced transfers undermine the entire premise of a compassionate and dignified death.”

The B.C. Humanist Association estimates that taxpayers transferred almost $900 million to six major faith-based healthcare providers in the fiscal year ending March 31, 2019. g

“This year has been incredibly hard, and I’ve heard from many students, faculty and staff who are eager to return to campus when it is safe,” Kang said in her statement.

“That’s why I’m encouraged by Dr. Henry’s advice that a return to in-person instruction can be done safely this fall for all students, staff and faculty. In fact, it’s important to do so for people’s well-being.

d ADVANCED EDUCATION Minister Anne Kang has encouraged students and their families to start planning for in-person instruction on B.C. campuses in September. Kang issued a statement on this topic after the provincial health officer, Dr. Bonnie Henry, advised the presidents of all public postsecondary institutions to do this.

OUTSIDE

There’s still some time to plan a bunch of activities for K-12 students who go on spring break in Vancouver from March 13 to 28.

B ack TO SCHOOL

Anne Kang says safety is a top priority when postsecondary classes resume.

COVER

Provincial legislation allows strata councils to ban pets, but will it stand up in the face of an evolving legal landscape around animal rights?

by Charlie Smith

hen the B.C. government announced this week that construction had begun on the new St. Paul’s Hospital, it made no mention of an ongoing controversy involving medical assistance in dying.

St. Paul’s Hospital is overseen by the board of Providence Health Care, a Catholic organization that refuses to allow physician-assisted death in any of its facilities. This is explicitly stated on the organization’s palliative-care referral form.

It notes that Providence will assure that a patient’s request for medical assistance in dying is “appropriately addressed”.

So even though the B.C. government is contributing $1.3 billion toward the $2.2-billion hospital on Station Street, patients who seek to exercise their constitutional right to end their lives will have to arrange a transfer. That’s because none of the 548 publicly funded beds in the new St. Paul’s Hospital may be used for this purpose.

Almost $1 billion from Providence’s sale of the St. Paul’s site at 1081 Burrard Street is also going into the new St. Paul’s Hospital.

The B.C. Humanist Association and Dying With Dignity have previously called on the B.C. government to end the exemption for publicly funded religious health organizations on providing medical assistance in dying.

Last year, Health Minister Adrian Dix slashed funding for the Delta Hospice Society when it refused to provide this service.

March 11 - 18 / 2021

“I also know some people will be feeling nervous,” Kang continued. “Your safety is our top priority. At every step, we’re going to be working with Dr. Henry and all our partners to make sure the right measures are in place to keep people safe.”

Earlier this month, Prime Minister Justin Trudeau said that all Canadians who want to be vaccinated against COVID-19 will have this done by the end of September. g

MARCH 11 – 18 / 2021

by Charlie Smith

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MUSIC

Craig Northey from the Odds and Rob Baker from the Tragically Hip connect brilliantly on new Strippers Union album The Undertaking.

By Steve Newton

e Start Here

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EDITOR Charlie Smith SECTION EDITORS Mike Usinger (ESports/Liquor/Music) Steve Newton SENIOR EDITOR Martin Dunphy STAFF WRITERS Carlito Pablo (Real Estate) Craig Takeuchi SOLUTIONS ARCHITECT Jeff Li ART DEPARTMENT MANAGER Janet McDonald

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East Side home gets 21 offers, sells $600,000 over asking price, for $2.3 million.

COVID-19 vaccination appointments begin in British Columbia.

Police arrest two people for hosting gatherings in downtown condo.

CBC hit sitcom Kim’s Convenience will end after Season 5.

Buckingham Palace issues terse statement after Harry and Meghan’s interview. @GeorgiaStraight

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OUTSIDE

Spring break activities abound for kids, families

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by Steve Newton

t’s been a long, rough year since spring break 2020, but with COVID-19 vaccinations ramping up, spring break 2021 is as good a time as ever to celebrate the now and do family stuff. Here’s a selection of things to do in Metro Vancouver, virtual and otherwise, between March 13 and 28. (For live events, remember to wear a mask, physical distance, and follow all other COVID-19 safety protocols.)

Zoom event for teens ages 13 to 18, Jaadee will share tools on how to take experiences and turn them into art and stories.

Vancouver’s Shoreline Studios presents acting camps for ages seven to nine, 10 to 12, 13 to 15, and 16 to 18. The actor-taught workshops run from March 15 to 19 and from March 22 to 26 and are meant to introduce students to what it takes to become working film and TV actors.

ARTS EDUCATION

ENVIRONMENTAL AWARENESS

Arts Umbrella is offering spring break programs that teach the fundamentals of each art form while helping children challenge their creative limits and discover new passions. Artist-instructors work with each young person to help them realize their full potential. This year Arts Umbrella is offering both remote online and live options March 15 to 19 and March 22 to 26, with the in-person classes taking place on Granville Island and in South Surrey.

From March 15 to 19 the Vancouver Art Gallery is presenting Spring Into Art virtual spring-break programs that consider the many ways that we can express our ideas, identities, and stories through the real, imagined, and dreamworthy themes

Arts Umbrella offers remote and live spring-break programs, with in-person instruction in Vancouver and Surrey, while the VAG will be hosting virtual workshops. Photo by Arts Umbrella.

of Underwater, Underground, Playspace, Outerspace, and Intergalactic. Each workshop will be led by family programs coordinator Christina Jones and/or a local artist, who will share inspiring artworks and demonstrate imaginative activities that you can make from home. All workshops start at 1 p.m. Pacific time: Amabie Postcard Project with Cindy Mochizuki (March 15), Virtual Studio Tour with

Sonny Assu (March 16), Playing with Sound and Movement (March 17), Space Comics with Cole Pauls (March 18), and Transformation and Imagination: Animal Collages with Sandeep Johal (March 19).

On March 16 at the Vancouver Public Library, the 2021 Indigenous storyteller-inresidence, Kung Jaadee, will lead an online storytelling workshop on creativity and expression in the time of COVID-19. In this

From March 13 to 28 New Westminster’s Fraser River Discovery Centre offers interactive family-friendly activities, tours, and online programs that explore the Fraser’s economic, environmental, and cultural contributions to the province. Facilitated programs include WaxPaper Watersheds, Animal Artifacts, a Sustainable Fishing Challenge, and Clay Fish Creations.

The Lynn Canyon Ecology Centre presents Night Flyers, an online event with biologist Danielle Dagenais from the B.C. Community Bat Program, on March 15.

Kids can learn about the threats to bats— including the deadly disease known as

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OUTSIDE demonstrations and the feature exhibit Across the Pacific, which explores the history of Chinese Canadians in Burnaby.

White-nosed Syndrome, which is killing bats across North America—and discover how to help the bats living around their neighbourhoods.

Maplewood Farm in North Vancouver is home to approximately 200 domestic farm animals, including goats, horses, pigs, rabbits, donkeys, sheep, and birds.

Kids can feed the chickens, ducks, and bunnies, and there’s a milking demonstration daily at 1:15 p.m. currently featuring Lima the Jersey cow. The farm is open daily (except Monday) from 10 a.m. to 4 p.m.; see website for booking procedure.

KIDS CAMPS

SCIENCE ON DISPLAY

From March 13 to 15 and March 20 to 22 at the H.R. MacMillan Space Centre, kids can learn about rockets through Rocket Launch. During the one-hour program, families have 30 minutes to explore the exhibits in the Cosmic Courtyard Gallery and learn about the different types of rockets used in space exploration, then the other 30 minutes are spent building and launching a pop-bottle rocket.

Science World features interactive exhibits designed to get children and families asking questions, making discoveries, and having fun with science. Bring young kids into the Eureka Gallery for fun at the water table, or introduce the budding inventor in your family to Tinkering Space: The WorkSafeBC Gallery.

The Britannia Mine Museum, located north of Vancouver on the Sea-to-Sky Highway, will be exploring freshwater “mud monster” microorganisms in its TerraLab space during spring break.

MUSEUM FUN

The Britannia Mine Museum is introducing special educational programming during spring break as part of its year of STEAM (Science Technology Engineering Art & Math) focus. From March 13 to April 1, daily at 11 a.m. and 1:45 p.m., the museum will host short interpreter-led STEAM “Mini Mud Monsters” sessions in the TerraLab space, where families or COVID-19 bubble groups can learn about microorganisms in our freshwater ecosystems (included with admission).

Storytime Saturdays at the Vancouver

Maritime Museum feature free virtual storytime programs on Zoom for kids ages four and up. Intern Nikki Hashemian will read Kevin Kurtz’s A Day in the Deep (March 13), Sheryl McFarlane’s Jessie’s Island (March 20), and Anne Wenderhoff’s Sea Otters (March 27).

The Burnaby Village Museum is open daily for spring break from March 15 to 26. You can stroll through the 1920s village and visit historical exhibits like the Burnaby Lake General Store, the Way Sang Yuen Wat Kee & Co. herbalist shop, and the Jesse Love Farmhouse. Other events include blacksmith

Kidtropolis in Richmond is putting on five-day camps for kids that feature games, art activities, pizza-making, movies, and walks to the park. The camps run from March 15 to 19 and March 22 to 26, with meal and before/after care options.

Elevate Ultimate provides ultimate-Frisbee and disc-golf camps for kids aged six to 19 at parks in Vancouver and Burnaby from March 15 to 19 and March 22 to 26. The program emphasizes the values of respect, teamwork, honesty, and sportspersonship.

The Richmond Olympic Oval offers sports camps for kids aged four to 15 years—including field hockey, badminton, and beginners climbing—from March 15 to 19 and 22 to 26. The venue also offers private skating lessons that are open to all levels of experience.

The Extraordinary Voyages springbreak camps at Surrey’s Historic Stewart Farm feature five adventures based on the books of Jules Verne. Campers will do crafts, play games, and explore history as they journey to the Arctic, around the world, under the sea, and to the centre of the Earth before blasting off into space.

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REAL ESTATE

Strata councils pressured for pet-friendly bylaws

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by Carlito Pablo

ast year, an Australian court struck down a strata ban on pets because it was “oppressive”. The court issued the decision in a case involving a luxury-condo tower in Sydney and a dog named Angus.

The dog, a miniature schnauzer, belongs to Jo Cooper, a local singer and songwriter.

Cooper and husband Leo bought and moved into a unit at the Horizon, even though they knew that it had a no-pet policy. The strata corporation allows only assistance animals for residents with disabilities.

In a unanimous ruling on October 12, 2020, the court of appeal of New South Wales, which is the highest court in the state, explained why the strata’s bylaw barring pets was oppressive.

“That is because it prohibits an ordinary incident of the ownership of real property, namely, keeping a pet animal, and provides no material benefit to other occupiers,” the court stated.

A bylaw that limits the property rights of lot owners is “only lawful (valid)”, the court noted, “if it protects from adverse affection the use and enjoyment by other occupants of their own lots, or the common property”.

The rule “thus interferes with lot holders’ use of their real property in a respect and to an extent that is unjustified by any legitimate concern of others in the building”.

Moreover, it is “immaterial” whether the bylaw was “adopted or maintained by a large majority or even unanimously”.

“That would not detract from the quality of oppression, which does not depend upon whether any current lot holder desires to act contrary,” the court stated.

The court’s decision could be instructive for animal lovers and advocates elsewhere,

Vancouver lawyer Rebeka Breder (seen with her rescue dog Bowen) says a number of courts are now saying that decisions involving pets must take into account the best interests of the animal.

including here in B.C. Online, the provincial government notes that strata corporations can adopt bylaws regarding pets.

These bylaws can do a lot of things. They can ban pets, limit the number of animals, mandate leashes in common areas, limit the weight and height of pets, and so on.

But unlike the Residential Tenancy Act (RTA), which explicitly provides that landlords can bar renters from keeping pets, the Strata Property Act (SPA) does not make a categorical declaration.

Section 123 of the SPA only states: “A bylaw that prohibits a pet does not apply to a pet living with an owner, tenant or occupant at the time the bylaw is passed and which continues to live there after the bylaw is passed.”

It is also important to note that a bylaw prohibiting a pet from a strata lot or common property does not apply to guide or service dogs.

REBEKA BREDER IS a pioneer in the field of animal law. She founded Breder Law, which is described on the office’s website as Western Canada’s first legal firm to focus on animal law.

According to the Vancouver lawyer, the SPA simply says that if there is a prohibition, it does not apply to someone who already has a pet.

“So that begs the question: are stratas even allowed to ban pets?” Breder said in a phone interview with the Straight.

She noted that although the legislation

“implies that you’re allowed to do that… there’s room to argue and it has not been tested in court”.

“I have not litigated this issue, but one day I expect I will, unless the law changes,” Breder said.

She maintained that unlike the tenancy act, Section 123 of the SPA “doesn’t necessarily allow a prohibition”.

“That’s the starting point,” Breder said.

So far, the opportunity for Breder to test the SPA and its pet provision has not yet presented itself.

As a barrister focusing on animal law, Breder has seen many different types of strata bylaws.

“On one extreme, there are bylaws that don’t allow any animals whatsoever, not even a goldfish,” she said.

There are bylaws that allow pets only to a certain height or weight, and these sometimes lead to “ridiculous” situations.

Breder related that she once represented a client who had a dog. When the person and his pet moved into a Yaletown condo, the animal was within the weight limit set by the Vancouver strata’s bylaw.

“But he had a little bit too many dog treats. So he gained weight,” the lawyer said about the pooch.

Someone noticed and complained. Even though the pet was not causing trouble to anyone, the strata sent her client a letter and demanded the removal of the dog. In short, the dog was being evicted for going over the weight limit.

Months of back-and-forths followed.

The strata eventually relented. The matter did not go to court. The dog got to stay at the Yaletown condo with his owner.

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“You cannot have that dog removed from the premises because, ‘Oh, he’s 10 pounds over.’ We’re not talking about furniture here,” Breder said.

Some strata bylaws treat owner-residents differently from tenants.

A Victoria strata dispute recently settled by the provincial Civil Resolution Tribunal (CRT) serves as an example.

The strata’s bylaw allows owners who occupy their units to keep pets. The rule implicitly does not do the same for renters.

An owner granted his tenants’ request to have a dog at the rental unit. The strata found out and demanded the removal of the pet.

The landlord filed a claim before the CRT arguing that the bylaw is “significantly unfair”.

Tribunal member Sherelle Goodwin ruled in favour of the strata in reasons for decision dated February 12, 2021.

Goodwin explained that “significantly unfair conduct must be more than mere prejudice or trifling unfairness”.

“Significantly unfair means conduct that is oppressive or unfairly prejudicial,” the tribunal member wrote.

The term oppressive, which is the same word used in the Australian court’s ruling, means “conduct that is burdensome, harsh, wrongful, lacking fair dealing or done in bad faith”.

The landlord argued that the Victoria strata’s bylaws should apply equally to all residents, regardless of whether they are owners or tenants.

The law is evolving in favour of four-legged companions. Photo by Tuqa Nabi/Unsplash.

While Goodwin agreed that the bylaw does “not benefit all residents equally”, there is “no requirement under the SPA or Strata Property Regulation that bylaws must benefit all residents equally”.

The tribunal found that the bylaw is “not significantly unfair simply because it treats owners and tenants differently”.

“The test is whether the bylaw is oppressive or unfairly prejudicial,” Goodwin wrote.

STRATAS ALSO ENJOY wide discretion in applying their own pet bylaws.

A dispute involving a couple and a strata corporation in Coquitlam illustrates this.

The strata has a bylaw that provides that a resident shall “not permit their pet to bark excessively anytime”. It fined the couple $200 because their dog was barking excessively.

The partners disputed the bylaw fine

before the CRT. They argued that the bylaw is “ambiguous”. While it prohibits “excessive” barking, the word “excessive” is not defined.

Tribunal vice chair Kate Campbell ruled in favour of the strata.

In reasons for decision dated November 16, 2020, Campbell agreed that the interpretation of excessive requires the strata council to “exercise discretion”.

“However, that is true of many strata bylaws,” Campbell noted.

She cited as an example a standard SPA bylaw and another bylaw of the strata involved in this case. That bylaw says an owner may not use a strata lot, common property, or common assets in a way that “unreasonably interferes” with the rights of other persons to use and enjoy a strata lot or common property.

“As with excessive barking, determining when an interference is unreasonable requires applying discretion,” Campbell pointed out.

Talking about standard bylaws, the SPA provides a set of these rules that cover a range of concerns, including pets.

Stratas can adopt these standard bylaws as a default. The standard pet bylaw provides that an owner, tenant, or occupant must not keep any pets other than one or more in a list. The list consists of a “reasonable number of fish or other small aquarium animals”, a “reasonable number of small caged mammals”, up to two caged birds, and one dog or one cat.

Strata corporations are free to amend

these standard bylaws and adopt their own version.

However, the SPA also provides that stratas cannot make bylaws as they please.

A bylaw is deemed unenforceable if it contravenes the legislation itself, its regulations, and the B.C. Human Rights Code.

A strata’s no-dog bylaw was tested in connection with the provincial human-rights law in a discrimination complaint filed by a mother on behalf of her young daughter.

The girl suffers from mental and physical issues, including trauma caused by an abusive father. Her wellbeing improved immediately after she got a dog.

The strata council presented to condo owners two motions that would, in effect, allow the girl to keep her dog. Both motions failed at the strata’s 2019 annual general meeting.

The mother filed a complaint before the B.C. Human Rights Tribunal.

In reasons for decision on April 29, 2020, tribunal member Devyn Cousineau ruled that the daughter “needs a dog because of her disabilities”.

Cousineau declared that the bylaw prohibiting the girl from having a dog is “discrimination” and contrary to the B.C. Human Rights Code. She also ordered the strata to stop applying the no-dog bylaw to the daughter.

According to the B.C. Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals (BCSPCA), about 1,150 pets are surrendered annually

MARCH 11 – 18 / 2021

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must not be left in the unit if the resident will be absent for a long time. If a pet is causing noise, the owner should work with a pet trainer, behaviourist, sitter, or walker.

“It’s a balance of being a good neighbour and also allowing people to keep their pets,” Cant said.

According to Cant, pets are wonderful companions, especially in times like the current COVID-19 pandemic.

from previous page

to the organization by people who cannot find pet-friendly housing.

The group also notes that this number does not include thousands of other animals, often cats. The animals are abandoned in the streets or left behind in apartments by their owners.

The BCSPCA’s manager for companionanimal welfare science and policy, Meghann Cant, believes that pet owners suffer due to the province’s strata legislation allowing stratas to ban pets.

“It leads people to make a choice between housing and keeping family members,” Cant told the Straight by phone. “It means that if they want to move into the strata, they’re forced to give up their pets, which is really unfortunate.”

She also noted that the standard strata bylaw giving a person a choice of either one dog or a cat is “arbitrary”.

The same also applies to bylaws that limit the height or weight of a pet.

“Again, that is pretty arbitrary because it’s more about the behaviour of the animal,” Cant said. “So, for instance, big dogs can be quiet. They can be very gentle, very friendly with people.”

“But, basically, by limiting their size or height or weight,” Cant continued, “it means you’re only allowed to have small dogs.”

To help residents and stratas come up with more pet-friendly bylaws, the BCSPCA released a guide in 2015.

The guide offers a sample policy for

The BCSPCA’s Meghann Cant says that strata legislation leads to animals being abandoned.

stratas. It provides that an owner, tenant, or occupant must “follow the local municipal bylaw to determine the number of pets that may be kept on a strata lot”.

For example, the City of Vancouver’s animal-control bylaw states that except for someone licensed as a kennel keeper, a person must “not keep more than three dogs at any one time or at any one place or property in the city”.

Also, a person must not keep in any area, temporarily or permanently, at any one time, more than six, in total, “hamsters, guinea pigs, tame mice, chinchillas, cats, rabbits, and other small animals and reptiles”.

The BCSPCA guide also features several proposed policies.

One is that an owner must submit a registration form for each pet. Also, all dogs, cats, and rabbits must be spayed or neutered. Pets

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BREDER OPENED HER own office after working for more than a decade in a Vancouver downtown law firm.

“The people who come to me, not once has their animal actually caused a problem,” Breder related.

“It’s just that someone complained in the building, because it’s either a no-pet building or maybe they have one too many cats and that person doesn’t like animals and he goes to strata council and strata council sends a letter,” she said.

According to her, stratas always have a bylaw that prohibits unreasonable interference with someone else’s right to use and enjoy their property. So the question is: how does an animal interfere with that?

“Fundamentally, that’s what matters. If the answer is that that animal doesn’t, then the animal stays,” Breder said.

The Vancouver lawyer is also in the forefront of changing the way courts treat and consider animals.

In law, animals are considered personal property, or chattel. However, in a 2015

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ruling on an ownership dispute, a B.C. provincial judge accepted a proposition put forward by Breder in the case.

It’s that “in the case law, there is an acceptance that an animal is not just an ordinary piece of property”.

“Animals are something more than just a simple chattel,” Judge David St. Pierre wrote.

He ruled that animals are “living beings that people create inextricable bonds with and these bonds are powerful”.

Breder told the Straight that a number of courts are now saying that they need to consider the “best interest” of an animal in deciding cases.

“Judges are realizing, ‘Oof, what do I do here? On the one hand, animals are property, but on the other hand, I can’t treat this animal like a chair,’ ” Breder said.

In a case wherein Breder represented a litigant, Judge Valliammai Chettiar noted that in two separate and previously decided cases, “even though animals are considered personal property, they are treated differently.”

“Factors different from those considered inanimate objects, including the best interests of the animals, are to be considered when addressing competing claims for animals,” Chettiar wrote in the 2016 judgment.

According to Breder, there is an ongoing “evolution in the language and the approach that judges are using”.

“Without a doubt, I would say that the landscape is changing,” she said.

Although there is a long way to go, Breder believes that it is changing for the better. g

MARCH 11 – 18 / 2021

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FOOD

Irish comfort classic warms up St. Patrick’s Day

W

by Craig Takeuchi

ith Valentine’s Day and Lunar New Year festivities over and Black History Month wrapped up, it’s time to look ahead to see what else we can celebrate.

Of course, among the upcoming occasions is St. Patrick’s Day on Wednesday (March 17).

It’s time to pay tribute to the country that gave us the lovely Saoirse Ronan, Pierce Brosnan, Liam Neeson, Oscar Wilde, Enya, and funny videos of Irish people eating strange Canadian food.

Like ketchup chips. (Who came up with that weird idea?) Or poutine. (Who came up with that weird idée?) And desserts.

(Why are all Canadian desserts gooey?)

Moving away from odd Canadian cuisine for a moment, here’s a recipe for a comfort-food classic: Irish stew. It comes courtesy of Vancouver’s Edge Catering executive chef Jasmin Porcic.

If your strong suit isn’t cooking, or if you simply don’t have the time (and/or patience), you can always order in.

Edge Catering is offering St. Patrick’s Day Irish dinners featuring Guinness Irish stew, traditional colcannon

There are also Guinness Scotch beef pies (four packs for $25), which can be frozen; Guinness Beer (440 millilitres each, fourpack for $16); and Irish-cream Nanaimo bars (six packs for $18). Full details are at www.edgecatering.ca/.

But if you want to make a go of making it yourself, here are the instructions: GUINNESS IRISH STEW

Recipe Yields: 10 servings

Edge Catering’s St. Patrick’s Day Irish dinners include Guiness Irish stew and other dishes.

(mashed potatoes with butter, bacon, leeks, green onion, cream, and kale), mushy peas and steamed carrots, and a B.C.-meets-the–Emerald Isle finisher: an Irish-cream Nanaimo bar ($24 per person or $48 for two).

Ingredients 150 grams chopped bacon 1,450 grams cubed pork tenderloin 36 grams all-purpose unbleached flour 50 millilitres canola oil 400 millilitres beef stock 100 millilitres Guinness beer 250 millilitres red wine 32 grams tomato paste 12 grams sugar 1 1/2 grams thyme leaves 1 1/2 grams rosemary 30 millilitres LP Worcestershire 1/10 gram bay leaves 400 grams onion diced large 150 grams carrot diced large 150 grams parsnip diced large

150 grams celery diced large 2 grams pepper black ground 2 grams parsley Method Heat a large pot with oil and brown the meat in small batches.

Salt meat after browning and set aside.

Brown bacon, rendering most of the fat.

Add flour to make roux.

Return meat to pot.

Add garlic and sauté, then add stock, Guinness, wine, tomato paste, sugar, thyme, Worcestershire, and bay leaves.

Stir to combine and bring mixture to a simmer.

Reduce heat to the lowest setting, then cover and cook at a bare simmer for one hour, stirring occasionally.

Roast onions, parsnip, celery, and carrots in oven with oil and salt and pepper.

Add the onions, carrots, celery, and the parsnips to the stew.

Simmer uncovered until vegetables and meat are very tender, about 40 minutes.

Discard the bay leaves and remove any excess fat.

Add more salt and pepper to taste.

Sprinkle with parsley for garnish. g

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9

LIQUOR

Guinness cocktails a great way to avoid green beer

L

by Mike Usinger

et’s start with the one thing that’s more unforgivable than all others when it comes to celebrating St. Patrick’s Day. But before we do, here are a few things you should be able to get away with.

First up, a playlist where the Pogues, Dropkick Murphys, Therapy?, and Stiff Little Fingers have just as much right to be there as the Dubliners and Sweeney’s Men. Let no one judge you for painting every part of your body green except your eyeballs, watching all eight Leprechaun movies, or having Lucky Charms for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. That no one does those things in Ireland isn’t the point, because the reality is that, for most of us, St. Patrick’s Day has about as much to do with blessed Saint Patrick as Christmas Day does with celebrating the baby Jesus.

Rightly or wrongly, Xmas is mostly about Santa and elves on this side of the Atlantic.

And, unless you’re talking about the devoutly religious, St. Patrick’s Day is a reason for decidedly non-Irish North Americans to raid the dollar store for green bowler hats, green nonprescription glasses, and green beards.

And then head to a neighbourhood pub with a name like Paddy McShamrock’s to drink

Whether coming from a bottle, can, or on tap, Guinness makes a great base for cocktails.

green beer. And there’s nothing more offensive than green beer on St. Patrick’s Day. There is a better liquor-nerd way when it comes to celebrating the death of Ireland’s patron saint. And we’ll get to that in a second.

In the meantime, make sure the Guinness is chilling in the fridge.

First, a bit of history. What we today know

as St. Patrick’s Day can be traced back to the passing of Saint Patrick on March 17, 461.

Historians believe that Patrick was born in Britain, and then kidnapped by pirates who brought him to Ireland. Flash forward a few years, and after returning to England a devout Christian, he packed his bags again and embarked on a quest to steer Ireland toward Christianity. In the process he became Ireland’s patron saint.

Green beer, meanwhile, is a tradition that started in America somewhere around 1904, and somehow became the favourite way to ruin a Harp every St. Patrick’s Day. In the interest of staying positive, let’s turn our attention to one of the Emerald Isle’s greatest exports: Guinness. The classic stout’s strong coffee and chocolate notes work well with anything that you might traditionally associate with, well, coffee and chocolate.

For an After Eight–like Newly Minted, all you need is one ounce of crème de menthe dropped in 15 ounces of Guinness. Go the simulated-fruit route with a Purple Guinness, which is simply stout with an ounce of black currant liqueur.

Sometimes you need a heavy hitter when it’s time to kick off happy hour, doubly so on a pandemic St. Patrick’s Day. For a Guinness

Martini, take 1/2 ounce dark rum, 1/4 ounce each coffee and crème de cacao, and 3.5 ounces stout, pour in a Boston shaker over ice, stir, and then strain into a martini glass.

Channel your inner Alannah Myles with a Black Velvet, which is an even up mix of Guinness and champagne. If there’s a lesson to be learned here, it’s that the pride of Irish beer goes with most things, which means you’re limited only by your imagination.

Because St. Patrick’s Day is just one step removed from a national holiday in America, maybe bridge Kentucky and Dublin with an Oscar Wilde. And should you find yourself mortally offended by those who choose to celebrate March 17 with green beer, green plastic hats, and green beards, remember what Wilde once wrote: “Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.”

OSCAR WILDE

1.5 ounces bourbon 1 ounce Guinness 1 ounce simple syrup Dash of botanical bitters Stir all ingredients with ice in a Boston shaker, strain into a glass, and then garnish with an orange peel. g

Lavender makes Moody sour transporting

A

by Mike Usinger

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it promises with this gruit-style ale, which pops big-time with lemon-bomb citrus on the sour side of the ledger and beautifully fragrant lavender on the herbal end.

s a valuable public service, we taste the latest in Lower Mainland beers and give you a highly opinionated, pocket-sized review.

ON TAP

DEEP THOUGHTS

Moody Ales Lavender Sour THEIR WORDS

“Nicely tart with a big lavender aroma and light lavender spiciness in the finish. Drinks like a lavender lemonade and soothes like aromatherapy.”

TASTE TEST

As much as COVID-19 has got me, you, and everyone we know conditioned to talking to no one but the voices in our heads, sometimes it pays to listen to the words of one’s fellow beer aficionados—even when they happen to be complete strangers. Picture this: you’re in the Commercial Drive liquor store, desperately looking for a six-pack of Samuel Adams American Kriek, even though no such thing exists on these shores. And then someone who looks like they love, in no particular order, Bikini Kill, Pussy Riot, and the completely brilliant Miranda July sees you eyeing Moody Ale’s Lavender Sour and advises “You need to buy that!”

MARCH 11 – 18 / 2021

Moody Ales Lavender Sour is the next best thing to spending a week or two in Provence.

So you do. And holy sweet baby Vincent Van Gogh, it’s almost great enough to take the sting out of the fact that springtime in Paris isn’t happening this year. Because late spring in Paris is always preceded by a week in Provence, where there are few things more majestic than the lavender fields of Luberon, Valensole Plateau, and Sault Plateau. Vaguely related, you know how some beers will promise Northeast India ghost-chili peppers or Sein Ta Lone mangoes or Belgian banana bread? And then taste like none of those things? Moody delivers exactly what

There’s no point pretending otherwise— for many of us the appeal of craft brewing is that someone went the extra distance during the creative process. There’s showing up for work because you have to and there’s showing up for work fully loving what you (and others committed to the artisanal process) do. Bonus points if your business attire includes a handlebar moustache and Strokes hoodie.

How does that factor in here?

You’re getting a beer where hand-screened lavender flowers from Windward Lavender farm in Chilliwack are an integral part of the brewing process. Ask yourself this: after months and months and mind-numbing months of COVID-19 lockdown, wouldn’t you love to spend an afternoon soaking up the sun in a place at least a couple of degrees removed from the big city? Because Luberon, Valensole Plateau, and Sault Plateau are out of the running right now, Windward Lavender sounds pretty good. Let Moody Ales take you there with this transporting gem. g

MOVIES

NFB rolls out docs, animation, and interactive works (This story is sponsored by the National Film Board of Canada.)

A

fter the pandemic began one year ago, cinemas went dark.

No more hot buttered popcorn.

None of the excitement that comes with watching a highly anticipated festival film combined with meeting the filmmakers for a vibrant post-screening debate. It was a crushing blow, not only for audiences but also for film directors, festivals, and everyone else who makes a living in Canada’s booming cinema industry.

In the face of COVID-19’s unexpected arrival, the National Film Board of Canada (NFB) had to navigate many unanticipated challenges. Founded in 1939, the NFB represents all regions in Canada and is responsible for producing and distributing documentaries, animation, and interactive works. Along the way, it has won countless awards, including 12 Oscars and more Academy Award nominations than any film studio outside of Hollywood.

Canada’s public film and digital-media producer needed to get inventive with content creation and collaborating with professionals from other provinces and territories.

“We put projects on hold to assess what would happen, but we were still able to complete three films; two of them were already in post-production,” says Shirley Vercruysse, executive producer at the NFB’s B.C. and Yukon Studio. “We set up remote operations for editing and music and had some of the subjects record themselves on iPhones for the film that was not yet in post-production.”

The NFB also produced a nationwide program called The Curve, an online platform filled with animation, documentaries, and digital storytelling showing how the pandemic has impacted Canadians. It can be accessed through the NFB’s website and YouTube.

“The Curve really demonstrates the NFB’s exceptional abilities to engage Canadians, specifically during these pandemic times,” says Rob McLaughlin, the executive producer and head of the NFB’s Digital Studio in Vancouver.

“As the public film producer, we’re fascinated with how story and art can help people understand themselves and help the world understand us. It’s a unique institution within the cultural fabric of Canada, and it continually succeeds in producing audiovisual work across the country that highlights local stories and perspectives, including the work of artists in B.C. and in the Yukon.”

Aside from The Curve, both studios have been busy producing other exciting works that will engage audiences.

They include a documentary, virtual

Vancouver filmmaker Daniel Schubert showed himself being chided by his grandmother, Auschwitz survivor Martha Katz, in his loving doc Martha.

It’s a unique institution within the cultural fabric of Canada…

– NFB executive producer Rob McLaughlin

reality, and spoken-word hybrid that examines systemic racism in Canada, created at the NFB’s Digital Studio. This Is Not a Ceremony is by a Vancouver-based artist named Ahnahktsipiitaa, otherwise known as Colin Van Loon.

“The production explores the Indigenous male perspective and focuses on systemic racism in our public institutions; it’s extremely powerful,” says McLaughlin. “Diversity and inclusion has always been paramount for us, and it’s ingrained in the NFB’s DNA.” The Digital Studio has also produced Far Away From Far Away, an interactive story for smartphones led by Vancouver creators Bruce Alcock and Jeremy Mendes.

“The project focuses on a father and daughter who live on Fogo Island in Newfoundland in the ’60s,” says McLaughlin.

“It’s a classic story about how the collapse of a cod fishery headed the reinvention of the economy and it highlights the importance of community.” At FarAway.NFB. ca, it’s possible to tap and swipe your way through the long-form story.

Martha, created at the B.C. and

Yukon Studio, is a short documentary by Vancouver-based director Daniel Schubert and is available through the NFB.ca website and YouTube.

“Martha is a compelling story made by a filmmaker whose grandmother is a Holocaust survivor,” says Vercruysse.

“There’s this captivating energy between the two of them, but then as a viewer you also learn about the Holocaust. It was an important film for us to do, especially right now with the rise of anti-Semitism and all that is going on in the world.”

In addition to documentaries, the team at the NFB’s B.C. and Yukon Studio also produce animation projects like Zeb’s Spider.

“It’s a beautiful 10-minute story about a woman’s fear becoming a self-fulfilling prophecy. It has been great having that energy of safely building art in the studio,” says Vercruysse.

The highly technical stop-motion animation is by two Vancouver filmmakers, Alicia Eisen and Sophie Jarvis, and will be ready later this year.

Because of the pandemic, the NFB has had to modify how its films are released to the public. Previously, new works were shown at film festivals or community screenings, but the majority of these have been cancelled or postponed.

“The NFB website is a treasure trove of films. I’ve heard that many people who are teaching and homeschooling have been accessing all of the entertaining educational material,” says Vercruysse. “There are hundreds of projects already on the NFB’s education platform for people to discover and enjoy.” g To see what’s available now, please visit the

National Film Board collection on www.nfb.ca/.

Follow the NFB on Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram for news on local events, new releases, awards, and more.

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11

MUSIC

Strippers Union strikes gold on The Undertaking

T

by Steve Newton

here’s been some killer double albums released in the history of rock. Looking through my vinyl stacks, its easy to spot fine examples like The Beatles (the White Album), the Who’s Quadrophenia, and Led Zeppelin’s Physical Graffiti.

The new Strippers Union double album, The Undertaking, is killer as well and will find a hallowed place among those classic titles when my copy arrives in the mail (hopefully, very soon).

The SU features a couple of guys from two of Canada’s best-ever bands, the Tragically Hip and the Odds. Ex-Hip guitarist Rob Baker and Odds singersongwriter-guitarist Craig Northey are accompanied by the longtime Odds rhythm section of bassist Doug Elliott and drummer Pat Steward.

When Northey picks up the phone at his home in North Van, the conversation starts with a joke about how disappointing it is that The Undertaking wasn’t a triple album—like Yessongs or something.

“Yeah, but we do have our own Roger Dean in Rob,” Northey teases back, referring to the famed British artist who created fantasy album-cover art for bands like Yes, Uriah Heep, and Budgie.

It’s hard picking a favourite song on The Undertaking because there are so many wicked choices among the sprawling 18 tracks. But the first one that comes to mind is “The Enforcer”, which might be the prettiest song ever written about a fierce hockey fighter.

“We really like how it turned out as well,” Northey notes. “It’s hard to do songs with hockey themes in this country. It’s instantly kind of trivialized or ‘rah-rah’, and I think the actual getting inside the irony of someone’s existence is a little more interesting.”

“I’m in the corners,” Northey croons on “The Enforcer”, “I raise these calloused hands / The first punch wakes me up, and the second one never lands / I’m here my friend, I’m here to take care of you / I’m here to do what nobody wants to do.”

Northey says he dedicated the song to former Canuck pummeller Gino Odjick the other day.

“He’s a great guy,” Northey says, “and I think that sort of role that any of those people took on to protect those around them was noble. But as we know, it’s not an easy life, and it has its repercussions later on.”

Another song off The Undertaking that vies for your attention with its pure awesomeness is “Take the Edge Off”. But Northey doesn’t take credit for its bouncy ’70s-funk vibe.

“A lot of the musical things you hear mostly come from Rob,” he points out, “almost all of it. I think that might be the

12

THE GEORGIA STR AIGHT

Craig Northey (left) and Rob Baker have delivered an album that rivals anything they’ve done with the Odds and the Hip. Photo by David Bastedo.

He’s loving music, and that’s the hallmark of anybody that I connect with as a musician.

– Craig Northey on Rob Baker

only one where I played a guitar riff on the entire double album. On the other two [Strippers Union] records, I did play, and we played as a band live, because that was

possible at the time. And now it wasn’t.

And Rob thought on this album he would try to do go down to his studio and do a kind of Todd Rundgren: finish everything except what I was gonna do.

“We had written the songs back and forth over a few years,” he adds, “in clusters of four or five songs, and that was one that we wrote in kind of our second or third go at it, whenever I could get out east or Rob could get out here. And then when he had amassed this smorgasbord of tracks for me to be inspired by and just put melodies and lyrics on, that one stuck out as pretty fun.”

“Take the Edge Off” is one tune that

Culture TIP SHEET

group Fire and Water, YouTube’s Allie Sherlock, and B.C. bands Blackthorn and the Fight Outside—and Family Day on March 14 with four sessions of Irish storytelling, music, and art classes for children of all ages. On St. Patrick’s Day (March 17), the festival will offer traditional Irish music (photo).

LOOKING FOR A way to enjoy culture

even though live performing-arts events have been cancelled? Here are two options this month.

c CELTICFEST VANCOUVER (March 12 to 19, online) This year, the Irish celebration goes virtual. Events include a virtual concert on March 13—featuring the Irish

MARCH 11 – 18 / 2021

c IMAGINE VAN GOGH (March 19 to June 11, Vancouver Convention Centre) The immersive and grandiose Imagine Van Gogh exhibition enables people to walk among huge projections of the famous 19th-century Dutch artist’s works.

Created by French artistic directors Annabelle Mauger and Julien Baron, the event will bring more than 200 of Vincent Van Gogh’s canvases to life in a spectacular way. g

really shows off the Strippers Union’s smokin’ rhythm section. Northey counts himself lucky that he’s had Odds mates Elliott and Steward at his beck and call all these years.

“I’m the luckiest man in the world in that regard,” he says. “I realized early on when I joined the Odds that if I couldn’t do something cool with those guys, I wasn’t gonna be able to do anything cool.”

As for hooking up with Baker, that’s worked out pretty well too. Northey recalls that they first met back around 1993, after the Hip had come to see the Odds play a set at the Town Pump.

“They just phoned us out of the blue—I believe it might have been Gord Sinclair who called us—and said, ‘Hey, we really like your record, and do you want to come and hang out with us in Seattle; we’re playing down there.’ And we said, ‘Yeah, we’re getting in a car.’ So we went down there and watched the show and hung out with them, and by the time 10 or 15 minutes were up it was like we had been friends all our lives.”

Northey notes that the bond with Baker only strengthened over time.

“He’s a very deep musician,” he says, “and he’s an amazing deejay. If you have a glass of wine with him starting at about 5 p.m., the music will just keep rolling and it will be amazing track after amazing track until you cannot keep your eyes open anymore and your head is a potato. So he’s loving music, and I think that’s the hallmark of anybody that I connect with as a musician.

“He’s a damn good guitar player too.” g

ARTS

Coastal Dance Festival honours Indigenous elder

M

by Charlie Smith

argaret Grenier becomes emotional when she speaks about the impact of her mother, the late Indigenous elder Margaret Harris.

That’s because Harris, a choreographer and dancer, instilled in her a belief that their family would be strengthened by keeping Northwest Coast singing and dancing traditions alive.

Grenier, Dancers of Damelahamid artistic and executive producer, has developed a newly choreographed short dance work reflecting her mother’s Cree heritage and the Gitksan bloodlines of her father, Chief Kenneth Harris. The two of them founded Dancers of Damelahamid in 1967.

“All of her work was done out of love and hope,” Grenier told the Straight by phone. “I think that that hope for our children and for our future is a really integral part of what we’re working through to honour her.”

This work in progress will be presented at the 14th annual Coastal Dance Festival, which is taking place online this year. Harris was 89 when she died last year.

“I think about her age and what she endured as an Indigenous women, in terms of what she had to overcome to be fearless,” Grenier said. “To have the impact that she did is quite remarkable.”

When her mother married, she knew little of Gitksan traditions. But she immersed herself in revitalizing dance in several communities along the northwest coast of B.C. In addition, Harris encouraged greater understanding of Indigenous music, regalia, masks, and storytelling, which are all embraced by the Dancers of Damelahamid. And she trained

The Dancers of Damelahamid are currently working on a tribute to their cofounder, Margaret Harris. Photo by Chris Randle.

her children how to make blankets, moccasins, and drums.

“She was so resourceful,” Grenier recalled. “She really gave us the ability to work within all these mediums. That was important to her: that knowledge would be passed forward.”

However, her death could not be properly mourned in a ceremony because of the pandemic, she said, so the new short dance work is a way for the family to process her loss.

Grenier plans on turning it into a full-scale production in the future. Last November, the Canada Council for the Arts honoured Grenier with the 2020 Walter Carsen Prize for Excellence in the Performing Arts for her life’s work

of elaborately choreographed multimedia presentations, which include projections on-stage. She anticipates that the newly completed work reflecting her mother’s contributions will include similar such elements.

“They have an ability to really support the story in a way that makes it accessible, especially to audiences that don’t already have a background and understanding of the mask dances and what’s being shared,” Grenier said. g The Dancers of Damelahamid’s virtual Coastal Dance Festival takes place online from Friday (March 12) until next Friday (March 19).

Groundbreaking Joe taking a new look at life with Digidance

T

by Charlie Smith

here are very few Canadian contemporary dance shows that can match the impact that Joe had on Quebec audiences back in 1984.

Montreal choreographer Jean-Pierre Perreault’s show featured 32 dancers in trench coats and work boots, with their hats pulled down to just above their eyebrows. A writer for Montreal-based Voir declared that the pulsating presentation, with work boots creating the beat, could be “compared to a film

by Jarmush or Wenders, a Beatles album, a book by Kundera or an Andy Warhol print”.

Starting on March 17, Digidance will present an online version of a 1994 remounting of Joe, first broadcast on RadioCanada in 1995.

Dancer and dance educator Ginelle Chagnon began working with Perreault in 1987 and participated in the 1994 version of Joe as the répétiteur.

“Joe is about life,” Chagnon told the Straight by phone from Montreal. “It’s about society. It’s about resistance.”

In Joe, the dancers all look the same, despite their differences. She noted that throughout the whole piece, dancers are trying to climb a ramp.

“You can interpret that as you want,” Chagnon commented. “I think it’s a basic human statement.”

Joe is about life.

It’s about society. It’s about resistance.

– Ginelle Chagnon

Montreal choreographer Jean-Pierre Perreault’s Joe, a production that changed dance in Canada, asked important questions about what it means to be human. Photo by Robert Etcheverry.

The 1994 presentation of Joe included dancers from Winnipeg Contemporary Dancers, Dancemakers, and Perreault’s company, La Fondation Jean-Pierre Perreault. He handed the reins to Chagnon for that performance after she spent a week with him in the studio along with another dancer who had performed the show in the past.

To learn more about the piece, she donned the costume to know what it was like for the dancers. A week later, she was teaching Joe to the 32 dancers; five weeks later, they were performing it on-stage.

Looking back, Chagnon described what

Perreault did as a “huge compliment” to her.

Perreault blazed his own path, Chagnon said, in part because Quebec’s contemporary-dance scene had little exposure in the 1970s and early 1980s to the Graham, Limón, and Cunningham techniques, which were taught more extensively in Toronto, Vancouver, and Edmonton. According to Chagnon, it took Perrault many years to develop the signature style that allowed for a show like Joe to appear.

Chagnon compared his working style to that of a painter or a sculptor. The dancers were the “material” that he would rely on

to create his work.

“If it was a duet, he would take one of the two people’s places and he would demonstrate,” Chagnon continued. “Then he would step away again and look at it and see if that corresponded to what he had in his vision.”

Perreault, who died in 2002, once said that “choreography is the expression of space as dance is the expression of the body”.

“So he always thought about the bigger picture,” Chagnon concluded. “It’s not just about the dancer and what they’re doing.

It’s about where they are, the tension that they create in the space, and the space that they live in.” g Joe will be available online from March 17 to 23. For tickets, visit DanceHouse.ca.

MARCH 11 – 18 / 2021

THE GEORGIA STR AIGHT

13

SAVAGE LOVE

Confront high-maintenance friend or dump her

by Dan Savage

b I’M HAVING A problem advising a friend.

She’s been through a divorce and now the breaking off of an engagement. To put it simply, both relationships ended because she was cheated on and she has a zero-tolerance policy around infidelity.

To complicate matters, in each relationship we—her friends—have witnessed her being very cutting to the point of being downright insulting to her former partners.

She has a tendency to tease her partners about their deepest insecurities in public and to express her extreme disdain for their family members openly. I had a chance to speak to each of her former partners after the breakup and they expressed to me that they felt emasculated by her and that their

self-esteem was shot and they had essentially “had enough”. However, neither have given her this feedback directly.

My friends and I have hinted to her about this pattern in the hopes of helping her see what her role might be in these breakups. But she takes extreme offense to any criticism and insists she’s the victim. I’m sympathetic to her plight, but her unwillingness to accept any responsibility makes it difficult to offer her any useful advice.

I’ve been there for her, calling her daily and stopping by when I could, in a COVIDsafe way. But every conversation turns into a three-hour-long rehashing of these relationships with all blame assigned to her exes. I’ve let a few weeks go by without reaching out The Georgia Straight Confessions, an outlet for submitting revelations about your private lives—or for the voyeurs among us who want to read what other people have disclosed.

Scan to conffess

One ain’t the loneliest number After going through a horrible break up, I’ve lost interest in dating. I honestly don’t want to get into another relationship and have my heart broken again. I’m really getting used to living a single life and embracing it. The way things are going for me now, I honestly don’t need any significant other to define or complete me. Sure, life has been a lot quieter but after all is said and done, I love my single quiet life the way it is and would never change anything about it. All bones and no bull.

Miracle I hooked up with this guy I met on Tinder and just found out I am pregnant.

I am 35 and have no children. He doesn’t want the child but has promised to pay child support. This isn’t an ideal situation. I never thought I would have a baby but this is my last chance to be a mother and I have to take it.

Poem In high school I was trying to impress a girl with a poem I “wrote.” Well, she knew lots of poems and the one I plagiarized she knew already. I didn’t get anywhere with her after that. Ah well.

Weed I’ve learnt how to make one ounce of bud last me two months. I only order 6x a year if I can stick to this.

THE GEORGIA STR AIGHT

- No Brainpower For Clever Signoff

be one scary asshole—I mean, that would explain why her former romantic partners won’t tell her she’s an asshole and why her friends won’t tell her that her assholery has consequences. Like getting dumped. And while her exes should’ve broken up with her before cheating on her, NBFCS, it sounds like both opted to slam their hands down on the self-destruct button instead. And who can blame them? Maybe they thought cheating would help them masc back up after enduring your friend’s emasculating abuse—and that would be pretty fucked up if they thought that—or maybe they wanted to punish your asshole friend by engineering breakups every bit as painful for her as these relationships had been for them.

But why they cheated isn’t the question. You’re wondering what, if anything, you should say to your friend about this pattern, i.e., that she’s an asshole who emotionally abuses her romantic partners and it makes you and the rest of her friends uncomfortable.

If you want your friend to know she’s an asshole and needs help, NBFCS, you’re going to have to say something. Assholes rarely have epiphanies. If you can’t bring yourself to say what you need to say to her asshole face, put it in a letter, ask your mutual friends to cosign, and email it to her. You might never hear from her again, NBFCS, but would that really be so terrible? Do you wanna be friends with someone who expects you to sit there silently while she verbally abuses her romantic partners and then expects you to sit and listen while she complains about her exes for hours? We both know the answer to that

Your friend must

I always wish I had a sister.

14

because I don’t want to have another one of these conversations. I’m curious what you would do here. Our entire friend group is now debating whether we should share our actual opinions with her at the risk her being angry with us. The other option is to leave it alone and hope she comes to her own conclusions. I wish her exes had the courage to tell her their true feelings.

Lonely Child

Visit

You might have been attracted to a friend because of their good qualities, but when a pattern of cruel behaviour appears, don’t just wait for them to change. Photo by Engin-Akyur/Unsplash.

to post a Confession MARCH 11 – 18 / 2021

question, NBFCS, and it’s “Fuck, no.”

You’ve already started to cut this woman out of your life—you’re in the process of breaking up with your friend—because her good qualities, whatever they might be, don’t compensate for her assholery. You’ve got nothing to lose by levelling with this woman except for her company, which you do not enjoy. You can’t condemn her exes for not having the courage to share their true feelings with her if you don’t have the courage to do the same. b HETEROSEXUAL, 30-SOMETHING, female here. For all of my sexual life, until recently, I really enjoyed having my nipples played with by my partners—during sex, as part of foreplay, fingers, clamps, lips, tongue, just about anything touching my nipples was a turnon and an orgasm enhancer. But something changed after witnessing my boyfriend’s sister breastfeeding her child. Something about seeing nipples being used for, well, what they’re meant to be used for, has really squicked me out. Now when my boyfriend touches my nipples in the slightest way, I find it irritating, a little gross, and a huge turn-off.

I think maybe this was the first time I’d seen breastfeeding in person? Or maybe it has something to do with the fact that it was my boyfriend’s sister? I don’t know! I don’t know why, but for whatever reason, seeing nipples in a different light has left me repulsed by the idea of using mine in a sexual way. If I’m close to orgasm, I can stand a little bit of nipple attention but nowhere near the amount I used to like. I want to enjoy nipple play again, Dan! Any advice for getting my nipples back? It’s been months!

- Breasts Out Of Business Suddenly

P.S. I don’t mean any offense whatsoever to those who breastfeed. It’s not the breastfeeding that I find squicky. It’s the idea of using my own breasts in a sexual way that has me suddenly feeling all conflicted and weirded out.

I don’t wanna

ruin dick for you, BOOBS, see next page

but you do know men don’t just ejaculate out of those things, right? Dicks serve more than one purpose. Dicks and nipples both have specific non-sexual purposes (peeing and breastfeeding) as well as specific sexual functions (ejaculating and, um, erogenous zoning).

There are a lot of sensitive nerve endings and

erectile tissues in and around our nipples, both the male and female varieties, and our nipples—like our assholes and our throats— don’t just have a sexual use, they have a sexual purpose. Considering that we have more sex than we do children, BOOBS, you could argue that their sexual use is their highest and best

use. Which means you aren’t misusing your nipples when you derive pleasure from having them licked, sucked, clamped, etcetera, BOOBS, you are enjoying your nipples just as nature—natural selection and spontaneous mutation—intended them to be enjoyed.

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