The Georgia Straight - Culture Crawl - November 5, 2020

FREE | NOVEMBER 5 – 12 / 2020

Volume 54 | Number 2754

SETH ROGEN

CULTURE CRAWL

CANNABIS BEVERAGE KING?

CONDO GLUT

LISTINGS RISE SHARPLY

Nearly 250 artists are participating in one of the East Side's premier community events

ESPORTS

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F I L M F E S T I VA L S

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I TA L I A N F O O D

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P E AC E K E E P I N G

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ESPORTS

GameSeta brings esports to B.C. secondary schools

CONTENTS 11

COVER

November 5 – 12 / 2020

The Eastside Culture Crawl will look different this year, but it still offers lots of opportunities to view local artists’ work.

by John Lucas

By Charlie Smith Cover painting Our Backyard (detail) by jessica Craig

5

CANNABIS

Evan Goldberg and Seth Rogen have been collaborating on movies for years, but they have also joined forces on various cannabis products.

By John Lucas

6

REAL ESTATE

Investors in Canada’s three largest cities are putting plenty of condos on the market, which could lead to significant price drops.

By Carlito Pablo

e Start Here GameSeta hopes to organize esports tourneys in every B.C. high school, in part because strategybased games enhance leadership skills. Photo by gorodenkoff/iStock/Getty Images Plus.

W

hen you think of secondaryschool sports, games like volleyball and soccer no doubt come to mind. You probably don’t think of League of Legends, but GameSeta would like to change that.

The Vancouver-based company is the brainchild of recent Simon Fraser University grads Tawanda Masawi and Rana Taj. GameSeta provides support and a webbased platform for coaches and students looking to form esports teams and organize tournaments.

GameSeta’s founders seem well positioned to provide both the logistical and technical know-how that such an endeavour requires.

Masawi majored in economics while Taj studied electronics engineering.

“We’re very into gaming,” Masawi tells the Straight during a Zoom call with his business partner. “We saw the space growing a lot. But then we struggled to figure out who the best high-school esports players were.”

That curiosity led the long-time friends to found GameSeta. The venture won them the $5,000 Idea Prize at this past spring’s Coast Capital Savings Venture Prize competition. It also led them to a partnership with B.C. School Sports, a nonprofit association of provincial secondary schools.

Starting November 23 and running through to the start of February, BCSS will run what it calls a “trial invitational” at member schools. Taking the form of a League of Legends tournament, the trial will gauge the viability of establishing regular esports competitions at the high-school level.

GameSeta can facilitate tournaments in a number of other games, but Taj admits not all of them would have been right for the BCSS trial. “There are some games that you can introduce into high schools, where you’re working with kids from grade eight to 12,” he notes. “And then there are some

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THE GEORGIA STR AIGHT

titles, like Fortnite or Valorant, where schools don’t think that they’re appropriate because they’re first-person shooters.”

Hence the selection of League of Legends.

The Riot Games title is not only hugely popular among high-school students but is also based more on strategy and teamwork than it is on explicit violence.

Says Masawi: “There is research that shows that there is a lot of benefit correlated with strategy-focused games in the development of community and leadership skills in students.”

Masawi says the BCSS LoL tournament could help legitimize esports as a school sport in the province—and beyond. “It’s the first major step in making it a sport in high schools,” he says. “Currently, right now everything is recreational.”

The tournament was announced in late October, and the registration deadline for schools was Wednesday (November 4).

This, Taj admits, is a very brief window.

“Because it’s such a tight deadline for schools—it was very quick—we are anticipating around 30 to 60 schools for this. But next year we’re really hoping to get that level above 100,” he says.

Masawi adds that ultimately, it depends on a school’s readiness.

“The goal is for us to be active in every single school,” he concludes, “because we do know that 72 percent of high-school students have been involved or play some sort of video games. So that, for us, is very exciting.” g

MORE ESPORTS ONLINE AT ECENTRALSPORTS.COM

NOVEMBER 5 – 12 / 2020

11 14 12 10 4 9 13 8 13 7 14

ARTS CONFESSIONS DANCE EDUCATION ESPORTS FOOD I SAW YOU LIQUOR MOVIES NEWS SAVAGE LOVE

Vancouver’s News and Entertainment Weekly Volume 54 | Number 2754 1635 West Broadway, Vancouver, B.C. V6J 1W9 T: 604.730.7000 F: 604.730.7010 E: gs.info@straight.com straight.com

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PUBLISHER Brian Kalish FOUNDING PUBLISHER Dan McLeod EDITOR Charlie Smith SECTION EDITORS Mike Usinger (ESports/Liquor/Music) Steve Newton SENIOR EDITOR Martin Dunphy ASSOCIATE EDITOR John Lucas (Cannabis) STAFF WRITERS Carlito Pablo (Real Estate) Craig Takeuchi SOLUTIONS ARCHITECT Jeff Li ART DEPARTMENT MANAGER Janet McDonald GRAPHIC DESIGNER Miguel Hernandez PRODUCTION SUPERVISOR Mike Correia PRODUCTION Sandra Oswald SALES DIRECTOR Tara Lalanne ADVERTISING REPRESENTATIVES Glenn Cohen, Catherine Tickle, Robyn Marsh, Manon Paradis, David Pearlman CONTENT AND MARKETING SPECIALIST Rachel Moore

e Online TOP 5

Here’s what people are reading this week on Straight.com.

1 2 3 4 5

COVID-19: Case counts top 300 per day; new exposures increase in B.C. schools.

Kitsilano home built in 1912 sells for $600,000 over the asking price.

A father mourns his daughter, another victim of the opioid crisis.

CNN’s Amara Walker endures three anti-Asian incidents within one hour.

Enzo DiMatteo: Why we can’t expect a COVID-19 vaccine to save us. @GeorgiaStraight

CIRCULATION MANAGER Giles Roy CREDIT MANAGER Shannon Li ACCOUNTING SUPERVISOR Tamara Robinson

MEDIA CENTRAL CORPORATION INC. 503–192 Spadina Ave.,Toronto, ON M5T 2C2

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CHIEF EXECUTIVE OFFICER Brian Kalish CHIEF FINANCIAL OFFICER Rodney Davis SR. VICE PRESIDENT, TECHNOLOGY & ARCHITECTURE Anton Tikhomirov CONTROLLER Igor Kostioutchenko

CANNABIS

Goldberg and Rogen add drinks to Houseplant mix

“I

by John Lucas

could talk about weed for literally 10 hours straight,” Seth Rogen says. Then he laughs, of course.

There’s no mistaking Rogen’s laugh for anyone else’s. It’s loud, it’s boisterous, and it’s ever-present.

Rogen doesn’t actually have 10 hours to talk about weed in late October, though.

Joined on a Zoom call by his Houseplant business partner, Evan Goldberg, and the company’s chief commercial officer, Haneen Davies, Rogen has about 30 minutes to extoll the virtues of Houseplant’s newest offering, a grapefruit-flavoured cannabis beverage, to a handful of journalists across Canada.

This isn’t Rogen and Goldberg’s first joint venture. Their creative partnership dates back to when they were 13-year-old Vancouver schoolboys. That’s when they conceived of their first screenplay, which became the hit 2007 feature Superbad. Since then, the duo has given the world such films as Knocked Up, This Is the End, and An American Pickle.

In 2011, Rogen and Goldberg founded their own production company, Point Grey Pictures, named after their high school.

Last year, the enterprising pair launched a cannabis brand, Houseplant, which rolled out its first beverages this year. Available in

Houseplant’s new grapefruit-flavoured, cannabis-infused sparkling water is just the latest in a long line of collaborations between Vancouver filmmakers and friends Evan Goldberg and Seth Rogen.

two citrus flavours, lemon and grapefruit, the drinks are sparkling water infused with 2.5 mg of sativa-dominant THC. Houseplant Grapefruit is a big seller, especially in British Columbia. That doesn’t surprise Rogen. He says the canned beverages are a nonintimidating alternative for cannacurious individuals. Specifically, those who are put off by the idea of smoking a joint. Not to mention those who might not be able to tell one end of a vape pen from the other.

“I imagine in B.C. there are people who

are friends with people who smoke a lot of weed who themselves want to partake in some way but just haven’t found the right way for them,” he says.

Rogen and Goldberg conceived of Houseplant as a way to elevate the status of cannabis in the marketplace. The brand’s visual identity features soothing blocks of solid colour and simple but pleasing typography. Some of its packaging is designed to resemble books and vintage VHS cassettes.

Even the most style-conscious consumer

won’t think twice about leaving Houseplant’s products out in plain sight.

“We would always joke that it’s something that you would generally hide under your coffee table,” Rogen says. “And maybe it could be something that you display on your shelf instead.”

As part of its mission to destigmatize, even normalize, cannabis use, Houseplant supports organizations working to reform marijuana laws and expunge convictions for minor cannabis-related offences.

“Weed should have never been illegal in the first place,” Rogen argues. “It only was illegal for racially motivated and racist reasons, to control minority populations.

That’s the only reason it was ever illegal.

And we can’t pretend that we are in an industry that has not lived in that shadow for a long time.” g

MORE CANNABIS ONLINE AT CANNCENTRAL.COM

NOVEMBER 5 – 12 / 2020

THE GEORGIA STR AIGHT

5

REAL ESTATE

Condo listings on the rise as investors look to sell

by Carlito Pablo

affecting the Canadian housing market.

“Rural and suburban areas that once lagged desirable city addresses are now roaring hot as homebuyers wearied by lockdowns seek bigger yards and larger living spaces,” Hogue wrote.

Meanwhile, “Tight downtown condo markets that previously commanded expensive rents are now thick with supply.”

Hogue stated that “rent is now declining in Toronto, Montreal, and Vancouver,

especially in higher density, downtown locations”.

He also wrote: “Big-city living has lost some of its luster with social-distancing measures severely restricting cultural life and socializing opportunities.

“Meantime, affordability issues are driving many Canadians further afield into smaller towns and cottage country, where larger living spaces are available,” Hogue noted. g

H obbit House PRICE FALLS

Today, the enchanting three-bedroom house with 12-foot ground-floor vaulted ceilings and its distinguishing flowing cedar-shingle roof is listed at $2,498,000, a $200,000 reduction in price from four months ago.

High-density downtown condo locations are flush with listings in Vancouver, Montreal, and Toronto as rents decline and owners look to the suburbs. Photo by Alexia Saumon/Unsplash.

I

n its latest housing report, RBC Economics noted that the real-estate market is awash with condo supply.

According to economist Robert Hogue, “condo investors are looking to sell”.

“As rents soften and vacancies rise, condo listings are spiking in Toronto, Montreal, and Vancouver—albeit from low levels,” Hogue reported on Thursday (October 29).

This came two weeks after RBC Economics reported that condo prices have “stagnated over the past six months”.

Previous to this, the bank’s economics section, on September 30, predicted that condo prices could “weaken in larger markets next year”.

In Metro Vancouver, listings of condo properties rose 20.9 percent in September compared to the same month last year.

In the City of Toronto, condo listings in September increased 133.9 percent compared

to supply in the same month last year.

For the rest of the municipalities comprising the Greater Toronto Area, condo listings last month posted year-over-year growth of 81.5 percent.

On the island of Montreal, condo listings rose 41.4 percent in September compared to the same month in 2019.

However, for the rest of the Greater Montreal area, listings declined 32.8 percent year over year.

In contrast, listings for detached homes in all Toronto, Montreal, and Vancouver metropolitan regions decreased year over year in September.

“New, stricter regulations in Toronto are adding to the impulse to sell—at a time when new condo completions are bringing more units to the Toronto and Vancouver markets,” Hogue noted in his October 29 report.

Hogue’s report covered, in broad strokes, how the COVID-19 pandemic is

d VANCOUVER’S FAMOUS Hobbit House is still waiting for its first human inhabitants in several years.

Its distinctive storybook-cottage style, thought by some to emulate the dwellings of author J.R.R. Tolkien’s fictional humanlike inhabitants of Middle Earth, has enchanted passersby and neighbours at 587 West King Edward Avenue since it was built in 1942.

Although it went on the market in late June for $2,698,000, there had been no takers for the renovated 2,907-square-foot home.

Its restoration involved moving the structure back and adding several hundred square feet of floor space. It later included an expensive, labourious, months-long replacement of its handcut cedar-shingle roof in the summer of 2017 after leaks were discovered in the traditional-style “thatched” and curved crown.

The home received a Vancouver Heritage Award of Honour in 2017. g

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A famous West Side home remains on the market. Photo by City of Vancouver.

The home, sometimes known as the James Residence (after original owner William H. James), was also listed in May 2013 at $2,860,000. It sold for $2.25 million in October of that year.

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NEWS

Canada’s peacekeeping efforts equal to Armenia’s

by Carlito Pablo

country of Mali.

In the 2019 fall federal election campaign, Trudeau’s platform again promised to improve the country’s efforts in world peacekeeping.

“This is one of the broken election promises,” Byers said, “and when they did decide to contribute to the peacekeeping in Mali, it took them several years to make that decision and they decided to contribute in the safest possible way by

providing helicopters.”

Byers traced the decline of Canada’s involvement in peacekeeping to a “lack of real support for multilateralism”.

“We’ve seen our national governments become less interested in the world,” he said. Before, “there was a common sense of the importance of the outside world.

“That disappeared with the arrival of Stephen Harper and hasn’t really changed much under Justin Trudeau,” Byers said. g

LEST WE FORGET “Only those who have experienced war know the true meaning of peace.”

When UN peacekeepers won the Nobel Peace Prize in 1988, Canada had deployed about 80,000 troops for such operations. Now there are only 34 Canadians doing this work. Photo by MINUSMA.

C

anada’s personnel contribution to peacekeeping in the world has fallen to its lowest level.

A total of 81,820 military and police personnel from different nations were engaged in 13 United Nations peacekeeping missions worldwide as of the end of August 2020.

Canada’s share comes to 34, which ties it with Armenia for 76th place, two spots behind Switzerland.

Bangladesh tops the list of 119 countries providing uniformed personnel, with a contingent of 6,731.

Following first, for second to fifth places, were Ethiopia, Rwanda, Nepal, and India.

Michael Byers, a professor with UBC’s department of political science, describes Canada’s presence in peacekeeping as “almost nonexistent”.

“It’s the lowest ever since UN peacekeeping was created by Lester B. Pearson in 1956 during the Suez crisis,” Byers told the Straight in a phone interview.

“So Canada’s greatest diplomatic contribution ever in our history was the creation of UN peacekeeping by a foreign minister who later became prime minister from the same party that has allowed the number to drop to 34,” he wryly added.

The expert on international law and politics was referring to the Liberal Party of Prime Minister Justin Trudeau.

Peacekeeping has been a source of national pride in Canada.

Pearson won the Nobel Peace Price in 1957 for his idea of a UN Emergency Force (UNEF) that stood between Egypt and armies of Israel, France, and Great Britain. Canadian officer Lieut.-Gen. E. L. M. “Tommy” Burns commanded the UNEF. Canada had deployed about 80,000 troops to various operations in the world by the time UN peacekeepers were

awarded the 1988 Nobel Peace Prize.

The back of the Canadian $10 bill issued in 2001 features a female soldier with a blue beret, the colour of UN peacekeepers.

She is looking through binoculars under a bilingual inscription that says, “In the Service of Peace”.

“The United Nations is more involved in peacekeeping than at any time in its history,” Byers noted. “The world is a complex and dangerous place.”

Byers pointed out that peacekeepers by definition “prevent war and, therefore, suffering”.

“It’s a very important contribution,” he said. “That’s why Pearson created it.”

Byers said Trudeau recognized that Canadians are proud of their peacekeeping history. When Trudeau campaigned to become prime minister in 2015, he promised greater involvement by Canada in UN peacekeeping efforts.

In the fall of 2017, journalist Lee Berthiaume with the Canadian Press reported that the number of Canadian peacekeepers in UN missions fell from 112 in August 2016 to 68 in September 2017.

“By comparison, Canada’s smallest contribution to peacekeeping under Stephen Harper, who made no secret of his dislike for the UN, was 88 soldiers and police officers in October 2014,” Berthiaume wrote.

Berthiaume also noted that Trudeau’s Liberals promised in the summer of 2017 to make as many as 600 soldiers and 150 police officers available for future UN peacekeeping missions. However, they had yet, at the time, made “any concrete commitments”.

Between August 1, 2018, to August 31, 2019, Canada provided transport and gunship helicopters for civilians and UN peacekeepers in the strife-torn African

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7

DRINK

Liquor is key to getting you through the U.S. election

J

by Mike Usinger

Canadian Navigable Waters Act Bentley 75 Limited Partnership hereby gives no�ce that an applica�on has been made to the Minister of Transport, pursuant to the Canadian Navigable Waters Act for approval of the work described herein and its site and plans.

Pursuant to paragraph 7(2) of the said Act, Bentley 75 Limited Partnership has deposited with the Minister of Transport, on the online Navigable Waters Registry (h�p://cps.canada.ca/) and under registry number: 2270, or, under the NPP File Number: 2020-503138 a descrip�on of the following work, its site and plans: Proposed Shoreline Protec�on Works in the Fraser River at 1550 West 75th Avenue, Vancouver, BC, V6P 6G2, Legal Address: LOT B BLOCK 3 DISTRICT LOT 318 PLAN 14204 Comments regarding the effect of this work on marine naviga�on can be sent through the Common Pro�ect Search site men�oned above under the Comment sec�on (search by the above referenced number) or, by sending your comments directly to (Naviga�on Protec�on Program - #820-800 Burrard St., Vancouver BC, V6Z 2J8) if you do not have access to the internet. �owever, comments will be considered only if they are in wri�ng (electronic means preferable: NPPPAC-PPNPAC@tc.gc.ca) and are received not later than 30 days a�er the publica�on of the last no�ce. Although all comments conforming to the above will be considered, no individual response will be sent.

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Bentley 75 Limited Partnership 8

THE GEORGIA STR AIGHT

NOVEMBER 5 – 12 / 2020

esus H. Sailor Jerry—what a grim slog, with the horrible thing being the last four years of insanity might not officially come to an end for days. November 3 was when America voted for its next president. But due to COVID-19, mailin ballots, and a world that’s totally fucked, odds are an actual winner won’t be declared until the lawyers get involved.

Given the above, it’s time to wheel the circa-1930 Art Deco bar cart to the flat screen. To get through this, you’re going to need plenty of liquor. And if things drag out for days, no worries. Everything feels better when you’re perpetually comfortably numb.

Here’s a fact: neither President McDonald J. Trump nor presidential hopeful Joe Biden drink. Orange Julius’s main vices are Kentucky Fried Chicken and Fox news. Biden’s crippling addiction is the Sunglass Hut. Go back in history, though, and you discover booze and the Oval Office go together like Mike Pence, a darkened room, a tube of lube, and the missionary position.

Lyndon B. Johnson loved a strong scotch and soda. Teddy Roosevelt raided the White House garden regularly as a Mint Julep fan, and Harry S. Truman often got the day started with a shot of bourbon. John F. Kennedy was a hard-core Bloody Mary disciple, George Bush Sr. rarely turned down a Vodka Martini, and Bill Clinton favoured the Snake Bite (one part cider, one part lager). As for Barack Obama, he’s famously known as a beer guy—during his time in office a special White House Honey Ale made good use of the grounds’ bee hives.

The takeaway here? If liquor was the magic elixir that helped the above icons navigate some turbulent political times, what the hell are you waiting for this election? Get on it!

Even though you live in Canada, think what you’ve endured the past four years— that having everything to do with America being more fascinating than we’ll ever be.

The idea that Mexicans are rapists, and we need a wall to keep them away from the rest of us. The idea that Tiki-torch-carrying neo-Nazis are very fine people. The idea that President Grab ’Em By the Pussy seems to have a never-ending boner for his daughter.

The idea that…well, you get the idea.

As we wait for every vote to be counted, there’s a possibility that the nightmare might be over. There’s also a real possibility that the nightmare will continue for days and weeks.

As a result, no one will judge for drinking whenever you tune in for election results.

By “drinking”, we’re not talking pouring two packets of Tang into a 40-pounder of White Lightning Max vodka. Instead, ask yourself what the great commandersin-chief down south would do in years gone

George Washington liked a Cherry Bounce.

Wikimedia Commons/Gilbert Stuart.

past. That Franklin D. Roosevelt loved a good Bermuda Rum Swizzle suggests the creation process was as much fun as the buzz.

For this installment of Liquor Nerd, lets go right back to the beginning of American politics for a drink that just might get you through this 2020 election—however long it takes to officially conclude. America’s first president, George Washington, was a Porter beer and molasses man, but he also made his own whiskey. His favourite cocktail was the Cherry Bounce. The bad news is that it will take you two weeks before it’s ready to drink—so for the next 72 hours go the boozeforward Manhattan or Old Fashioned route.

The good news is that it’s possible that this election will drag out for weeks. And as such, you’ll have a true American classic on hand to cope with the insanity.

CHERRY BOUNCE

12 oz preserved Morello cherries in their own juice 2 cups brandy 1.5 cups Demerara sugar, adjusting to taste 2 cinnamon sticks, smashed with a rolling pin 2 whole cloves 1 whole nutmeg, crushed After reserving the cherry juice, press cherries through a strainer. Add the strained cherry juice to the reserved juice, and combine with brandy and sugar, stirring to make sure sugar dissolves. Cover and put in fridge for 24 hours. Bring 1 cup of the mixture to a simmer, then add cinnamon, cloves, and nutmeg and cover for five minutes. Remove from heat, let steep for two hours, and then strain back in the jar. Cover and let sit for two weeks, stirring occasionally. Serve at room temperature in a small cordial glass, and then either toast America for a job well done, or start lobbying the Canadian government to build a wall that will make the long-delayed Mexican one look like something from a Lego kit. g

FOOD

Farina a Legna brings real Italian to North Shore

by Rachel Moore

Deciding between the restaurant’s three dessert options proved to be a task too difficult to handle. We let our friendly server bring us his favourite sweet treat, the Torta al Cioccolato. The flourless chocolate cake was topped with a generous spoonful of hazelnut cream, drizzled with olive oil, and sprinkled with sea salt.

Similar to the other dishes consumed that evening, it was heavenly and will be remembered for years to come. g

Bison Pappardelle (above, left) is one of Farina a Legna’s authentic Italian dishes aimed at meat lovers, while the burrata appetizer is a creamy mozzarella-and-stracciatella delight, sitting on a bed of roasted red peppers and sundried tomatoes, with focaccia. Photos by Rachel Moore.

I

n September of 2019, the carb-hungry residents of North Vancouver were blessed with the arrival of authentic Italian restaurant Farina a Legna. Luckily, this meant that many were able to part company with the nearby pizza-by-the-slice establishments that do a disservice to Italian cuisine. When it comes to pizza, overly greasy takeout should only be consumed during nights of heavy drinking.

The restaurant sports terracotta- and cream-coloured checked flooring and light-green seating and table accents. The white walls were covered with colourful custom artwork. Plants hanging from shelves and large front windows give the restaurant a bright and airy feel, even after the sun has gone down.

Because of the pandemic, half of the tables had been removed to ensure that guests are able to follow the physical-dis-

I was instantly reminded of the two times I ate my way through Italy...

– Rachel Moore

But the authentic, uncomplicated pizza and pasta made in-house at Farina a Legna (119 2nd Street East) is a whole different story. The quaint Italian dining establishment can be found tucked away on one of Lower Lonsdale’s side streets, sandwiched between a Vietnamese eatery and a Korean bistro.

Farina a Legna is owned by Kitchen Table Restaurants. The company also owns and operates four other restaurants: Pizzeria Farina, Di Beppe, Ask for Luigi, and Pourhouse. We had a birthday to celebrate, which meant a trip to Farina a Legna was in order.

Upon entering the charming space, I was captivated by the friendly atmosphere and décor. I was instantly reminded of the two times I ate my way through Italy, gaining a modest 10 pounds each visit.

tancing recommendations. Servers were also wearing mouth shields and delivered food from the end of the table.

Despite Farina a Legna’s décor being far funkier than the restaurants in Italy, the food is the same: authentic, simple, and delicious.

The evening began with a welcoming server collecting drink orders, which included a beautifully bottled Aperol Spritz, a short glass of Prosecco, and the house white wine.

Because we’re an indecisive bunch, we enlisted the help of our server to guide us through the proper Farina a Legna culinary experience—and, boy, did he do that.

For an appetizer, our table shared the daily antipasti special, which was a creamy burrata (mozzarella on the outside, stracciatella on the inside) placed

atop a bed of sundried tomatoes and roasted red pepper. The glorious ball of soft cheese was drizzled in olive oil and served alongside a plate of warm housemade focaccia bread.

I vaguely remember wishing my friends would leave so that I could devour the appetizer by myself.

For the main course, my carnivorous friends ordered the Bison Pappardelle (the dinner special) and the Prosciutto and Arugula Pizze. I try to follow a plantbased diet most of the time, so I opted for the Funghi Pizze—one can never go wrong with mushrooms slathered in cheese.

The pizza had a base layer of creamy white sauce and was topped with mushrooms, Parmigiano-Reggiano, aged mozzarella, roasted garlic cloves, and handfuls of fresh arugula. A small dish of hot chili oil was brought over to the table when dinner arrived.

The pizzas at Farina a Legna are fairly large, so you’ll most definitely be leaving with a takeout box in tow. We like this.

Since a birthday was being celebrated, skipping dessert was not an option.

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NOVEMBER 5 – 12 / 2020

THE GEORGIA STR AIGHT

9

EDUCATION

NDP’s big win won’t bring big money for schools

W

by Patti Bacchus

hile mail-in and absentee provincial-election ballots, including mine, have yet to be counted, I’ve been pondering what the B.C. NDP’s big win means for public education. As a cautious optimist, I’ll say the good news definitely outweighs the bad, but keep your expectations in check.

First, the good news: the B.C. Liberals took a shellacking and voters sent a decisive message that transphobia, homophobia, and misogyny are unacceptable and have no place in this province, and certainly not in our government. Thank goodness for that. And while many in the education sector were frustrated by how little changed under the previous John Horgan government from the bad old days under the B.C. Liberals, without a doubt a Liberal government would be far worse for schools than the NDP. Some new additions to the NDP caucus bring a deep understanding of the public education system and its challenges: Chilliwack school board chair Dan Coulter, who appears to have ousted B.C. Liberal incumbent John Martin; Langley school board chair Megan Dykeman, who came out fairly

The B.C. NDP kept tight control of spending, thanks to outgoing finance minister Carole James, but there still probably won’t be a lot of big new investments in education during the party’s next term.

well ahead of Liberal Margaret Kunst (who caught campaign flak for voting against a rainbow crosswalk in her role as a Langley Township councillor) in Langley East; and Kelly Greene, a Richmond city councillor who is well known as a public education advocate and who picked up 50 percent of the votes counted thus far in RichmondSteveston compared to Liberal candidate

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THE GEORGIA STR AIGHT

NOVEMBER 5 – 12 / 2020

Matt Pitcairn, who got 46 percent.

The B.C. Green party’s relatively strong showing, under its new leader, Sonia Furstenau—including winning its first mainland seat with Jeremy Valeriote’s surprising (to me, at least) victory in the West Vancouver–Sea to Sky riding—is good news for schools as well.

Furstenau, who was reelected in Cowichan, is a former high-school teacher who is well versed on what schools and students need to succeed. With the Liberals in meltdown mode and disarray, I’ll be looking to Furstenau to hold the Horgan government accountable, and indications are she’s up to the task.

Another bright spot is Vancouver-False Creek, where new NDP candidate Brenda Bailey knocked off Liberal incumbent Sam Sullivan with a pledge to fund construction of a long-overdue elementary school for Vancouver’s Olympic Village.

NDP education minister Rob Fleming played unfortunate political games last term, refusing to fund the school (or, perhaps more accurately, the NDP’s Treasury Board refused to ante up the money). Fleming went so far as to offer the funding only if the Vancouver School Board (VSB) closed its French immersion Queen Elizabeth Annex and turn it over to the public Francophone school district. It was a nasty bit of business and a no-go for the VSB, which left Olympic Village families without a school.

Now the bad news: Horgan’s resounding victory was likely due, in part, to the NDP’s centrist approach to governing and Carole James’s careful stewardship of the provincial treasury. Far from being an outof-control, tax-and-spend government, the NDP kept a tight lid on spending, particularly in the public sector, protecting B.C.’s valuable “AAA” credit rating. Don’t expect any new big investments in education. It’s already an expensive file for government, and even small increases in per-student

funding add up to big numbers.

I suspect Fleming did exactly what Horgan and cabinet wanted him to do by keeping expectations in check and not committing to any big spends. The same goes for Education Ministry bureaucrats from the Liberal era, who he kept around to the frustration of many, including me.

Regular readers will know I was often disappointed in Fleming as an education minister. I expected Fleming to be an engaged minister who worked hard to achieve the things he advocated for as critic. Instead, B.C.’s per-student funding, which is well behind the national average, has barely kept pace with inflation. B.C. teachers’ salaries still lag behind other provinces, exacerbating the teacher shortage. His government’s 2017 promise to “do away” with Surrey portables was broken, and badly: Surrey now has more portables than it did four years ago.

While [Horgan’s] at it, I hope he appoints a new education minister...

– Patti Bacchus

In 2013, the NDP said it would get rid of the controversial Foundation Skills Assessment (FSA), which is written by students in grades four and seven each year and form the basis of the Fraser Institute’s much-derided school rankings. For years, teachers have said that not only are the tests a waste of valuable class time and a source of stress for many students but the results that get misused don’t tell them anything useful.

Yet Fleming’s deputy minister, Scott MacDonald, doubled down on the tests, pressuring school-district superintendents to increase participation rates, making it harder for parents to have their kids excused from writing them.

Horgan will have to make changes, given that seven members of his previous cabinet didn’t run for reelection. While he’s at it, I hope he appoints a new education minister, one who has enthusiasm for the job and a passion for public education.

I hope he considers that B.C. has had five consecutive white men as education minister (Fleming, Mike Bernier, Peter Fassbender, Don McRae, and George Abbott) and makes a change that is more reflective of our province’s demographics and those who work in the K-12 education sector.

Ditto for the deputy minister. g

ARTS

Safety comes first at the Eastside Culture Crawl

by Charlie Smith

It needs to be put out there that artists are… open to personal visits.

– Esther Rausenberg

(Left to right) With some help from the City of Vancouver and the Eastside Culture Crawl, Jessica Breck, Lisa-Scarlett Cruji, Lauren Morris, Carley Bjorgum, Andreas Salaz, and Janine Breck were able to preserve artists’ spaces in Eastside Atelier. Photo by Eastside Culture Crawl.

O

ne of East Vancouver’s major community events will look different this year. Normally during the annual Eastside Culture Crawl, art lovers are welcomed into studios and creative spaces without invitations.

Last year, according to executive director Esther Rausenberg, 23,000 visitors visited the Parker Street Studios alone.

This year, 86 artists at this 152,000-squarefoot warehouse are participating in the Eastside Culture Crawl online. But due to the spread of COVID-19, there won’t be hordes of people descending on the building because it will be closed during the Crawl.

“It needs to be put out there that all of those artists are open to personal visits,” Rausenberg emphasized to the Straight over the phone.

In fact, it’s possible to book appointments through the CultureCrawl.ca website for all the artists who are welcoming guest into their studios. There are 247 participating this year.

Rausenberg conceded that the pandemic will make it more challenging to drop by as many studios as in previous years.

But she also wanted to assure the public that the Crawl is following very stringent health protocols that have been approved

by Vancouver Coastal Health.

“Even if they only come to one or two studios, it does give the public something to look forward to and plan for at a time when there’s very little going on with the performing arts, music, and dance,” she said.

For Rausenberg, a city without art becomes pretty boring in a hurry. That’s one

reason why she’s so thrilled that artists were able to save one of the Crawl’s major venues, Eastside Atelier, formerly known as William Clark Studios. The 40 artists who were renting space there in April received eviction notices, according to Rausenberg. It would have marked the demise of a critical art space on the East Side.

But as a result of their activism—combined with the support of the Eastside Culture Crawl and the City of Vancouver— more than two dozen were able to remain.

“The building was being leased to somebody who then rented it out to artists,” Rausenberg said. “The [lessee] was unable to fulfill their lease obligations.

“Once we figured all of that out and started to connect with the owners, we now had a direct one-on-one relationship,” she continued. “So the artists at Eastside Atelier were able to renegotiate a lease with the actual owners. So it’s turned out to be a great situation.”

There’s a certain irony in all of this. At last year’s Eastside Culture Crawl, organizers hosted a forum on the displacement of artists and conducted a survey on the loss of artists’ spaces in what’s being called the Eastside Arts District. This is an area bounded by East First Avenue and the waterfront, situated between Columbia Street and Victoria Drive. In a subsequent report, the Eastside Culture Crawl determined that there were 1,612 artists in this area but 1,332 of them face the threat of displacement due to realestate development. Moreover, it revealed a loss of 400,000 square feet of artist space in this zone during the previous 10 years.

That prompted political action. As a result of a motion by Coun. Pete Fry, council instructed city staff to report back on recommendations for a declaration of an Eastside Arts District.

“That is going to have a pretty big impact

on arts in this area—and, hopefully, ensuring that artists who are working here and producing here stay here,” Rausenberg said.

In the meantime, the Eastside Culture Crawl has expanded outside of its traditional boundaries as a result of a partnership with Skwachàys Lodge Gallery at 29 West Pender Street. From Saturday (November 7) to November 23, it’s hosting an exhibit curated by Cheyenne (Natoyihkii) McGinnis, focusing on inspiring individuals as well as displacement in Indigenous communities. One of the artists being featured is Hugh Kearney, a long-time participant in the Crawl.

“He just acquired his certificate of Indian status in 2017,” Rausenberg noted. g For more information about the Eastside Culture Crawl, visit CultureCrawl.ca.

Culture Crawl TIP SHEET and 19 to 22) “I am an assemblage artist.

I use mixed media and found objects to create visual interpretations of phrases, song lyrics, and euphemisms that resonate with me.”

SOME EASTSIDE Culture Crawl

artists are only displaying their work online. But t here are still plenty who have opted for the old-fashioned, in-person experience, though reservations are afrom the Culture Crawl website; please visit there to make reservations.) c CARA BAIN (1636 Salsbury Drive, November 12 to 15) “I paint to discover that bit you could call a soul, or a true self—to get to that golden sliver hidden under many layers.” (Her work, Windswept Tofino, is shown above.) c MARCY CARIGLINO (Octopus Studios, 393 Powell Street, November 12 to 15

c DZEE LEWIS (Eastside Atelier, Studio 5, 1310 William Street, November 12 to 15 and 19 to 22) “For the past few years, I have focused my investigations on the subtleties of the body and human experience, curious about what shapes us, and seeking the connections between the physical, psychological, personal, and environmental.” c DEBRA POWELL (Studio 580, 580 Clark Drive, November 12 to 15 and 19 to 22) “I create jewellery, functional objects, and pure glass ‘art’ that I hope inspires observers to feel the ‘light’ when they look at it or hold it.” c TYER WILSON (Hamilton Bank Building, Studio 312, 1895 Powell Street, November 12 to 15 and 19 to 22) “Digital photography doesn’t have happy accidents. Film is not dead!” g

NOVEMBER 5 – 12 / 2020

THE GEORGIA STR AIGHT

11

24th annual

EASTSIDE CULTURE CRAWL virtual preview week

DANCE

Young dance artists plan to revive solos Veteran Mary-Louise Albert is restaging works that she performed decades ago

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THE GEORGIA STR AIGHT

NOVEMBER 5 – 12 / 2020

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wenty years after ending her career as a dancer, Mary-Louise Albert still retains her love of this art form. So much so that she’s planning a comeback at the age of 65 with the help of one of her former choreographers, Serge Bennathan.

Albert, former long-time artistic managing director of the Chutzpah! Festival (that was her second career), is reviving three solos from her career for the Scotiabank Dance Centre’s first live performance since the pandemic was declared. They will be performed by contemporary dancers Vanessa Goodman, Rebecca Margolick, and Livona Ellis, with the help of the original choreographers.

Goodman will dance Tedd Robinson’s (oLOS), Margolick will perform Allen Kaeja’s Trace Elements, and Ellis will offer her interpretation of Peter Bingham’s Woman Walking (away).

“They’re lovely works,” Albert tells the Straight from her home in Sointula. “And I thought, ‘What a great project, to remount these on the next generation with three lovely, really talented, strong women who are all mid-career dancers.’ ” It was only after the show was well underway that Albert decided to also return to the stage as part of the Solo Dances/ Past Into Present program. She will perform phase one of Empreintes, a new solo work commissioned from Bennathan.

When asked why dance speaks to her so deeply, Albert pauses momentarily.

“It’s hard to explain,” she says. “It’s the

connection of the physical and emotional that just fits together—and comes together—that I experience as a dancer.”

Because she avoided injury when young, she kept performing until the age of 45.

“You have to enjoy the process,” Albert adds, “because…when you look at your whole career, you’re not on the stage all the time—not at all. You’re mainly in the studio, and you’re mainly exploring a process that connects with you.”

So was she able to rekindle that connection in 2020? Absolutely.

“It certainly has gotten me into a really good place to continue with this seniorcitizen journey—emotionally, physically,” Albert says. “And it’s nice to know that you’ll still take some chances, right?”

Although dance is obviously important to her, the most profound aspect of her life has come from being a mother. It turns out that one of the dancers in the show, Margolick, is her daughter. Albert has known Ellis, a longtime friend of Margolick, since she was a nine-year-old student at Arts Umbrella. And Albert has put on shows featuring Goodman on several occasions.

“All three of them have this very grounded generosity,” Albert says. “They’re really intelligent women.…And their support and encouragement of me being part of this presentation has been just beautiful.” g Solo Dances/Past Into Present will be performed at the Scotiabank Dance Centre from November 19 to 21.

MOVIES

Film festivals provide international perspectives

by Craig Takeuchi

EUROPEAN UNION FILM FESTIVAL

thecinematheque.ca/series/europeanunion-film-festival-2020/ November 13 to 29 Touted in previous years as “Europe without the jet lag”, that tagline is more apt than ever, with international travel plans on hold and the need to stay close to home due to COVID-19. This year’s European cinematic expedition offers a wide-ranging variety of 27 titles from 27 countries—all of which can be viewed online from home—ranging from Austria, Croatia, and Latvia to Estonia, Luxembourg, and Slovakia. Each film will be available for a 48-hour period, so make sure you take note of viewing dates.

WHISTLER FILM FESTIVAL

whistlerfilmfestival.com/ December 1 to 20 As one of the biggest film festivals in B.C. during the winter season, this year’s edition will be a hybrid of in-cinema and online screenings and events. There will also be talks by filmmakers and talent, awards presentations, and an opening gala and auction. For industry professionals, there’s the concurrent Content Summit, featuring presentations, discussions, workshops, one-on-one meetings, and more. The film lineup and full details will be unveiled on Thursday (November 5), so stay tuned. g

> Go on-line to read hundreds of I Saw You posts or to respond to a message < This year’s Vancouver Asian Film Festival includes various titles from around the world, such as Shunsuke Shinada’s Japanese comedy-drama Little Miss Period, about a certain regular visitor.

F

ilm festivals can offer numerous opportunities for coping with the COVID-19 pandemic. If you’ve exhausted your streaming options while holed up at home, there’s plenty of fresh content to choose from. Not only can you maintain physical distancing, but you don’t have to venture out into chilly Raincouver. And with travel plans kiboshed, festivals provide views of foreign locales, cultures, and lives. Here are several locally based festivals underway or coming soon to consider for your viewing pleasure.

SPARK ANIMATION FESTIVAL

sparkanimation.eventive.org/ Until November 8 The 12th edition of this British Columbian animation festival, which started on October 29, is available for viewing from around the world for the first time. There’s a panoply of offerings from which to choose— including an assortment of feature films and shorts, talks, and a panel discussion by filmmakers and industry professionals— and in-depth explorations of how specific works were crafted, including feature films like Over the Moon, The Croods: A New Age, and Wolfwalkers.

VANCOUVER ASIAN FILM FESTIVAL

festival.vaff.org/2020/ Until November 8 The festival launched on Halloween with Kim Kwang-Bin’s K-horror The Closet. But beyond scares, there’s fare like Shunsuke Shinada’s Little Miss Period, a comedic adaptation of Ken Koyama’s manga. There’s also the timely documentary First Vote, which follows four very different Asian Americans from the 2016 presidential election

to the 2018 midterms. And the Hong Kong romance-drama Beyond the Dream closes the fest. In addition to feature films from Thailand, South Korea, Canada, and the U.S., there are also shorts programs, and panel discussions addressing representasian, racism, and more.

SOUTH AFRICAN FILM FESTIVAL

www.vsaff.org/ Until November 12 This year, the Vancouver South African Film Festival and the Toronto South African Film Festival formed one Canadawide festival.

The program includes numerous documentaries, including Buddha in Africa, about a Malawian boy torn between his African culture and the values from his Chinese Buddhist orphanage, and Stroop, about how the Asian demand for rhino horns is impacting African countries. There are also feature dramas, including Izulu Lami (My Secret Sky), about two rural orphans seeking to deliver the mat their late mother wove. Plus there are panel discussions and conversations with filmmakers as well.

VANCOUVER POLISH FILM FESTIVAL

vpff.ca/ November 8 This ninth annual festival has a short-butsweet program and will be held at the Rio Theatre. There’s the drama-thriller Supernova, about three men in rural Poland whose lives are impacted by a disaster. Meanwhile, the dramedy Jak najdalej stąd (I Never Cry) follows a young woman bringing her father’s body back to Poland from Ireland. They’ll be paired with presentations of the best documentary and best short film, respectively, as chosen by online audiences.

LYNN LOOP TRAIL FRENCH BULLDOG

r

WHERE’D YOU GET THEM CARHARTTS?

s

s

YOU WALKING, ME TALKING, BOTH SMILING

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r

s

I SAW A: I AM A: WHEN: NOVEMBER 1, 2020 WHERE: Lynn Canyon Loop

I SAW A: I AM A: WHEN: OCTOBER 29, 2020 WHERE: Granville St

I SAW A: I AM A: WHEN: OCTOBER 24, 2020 WHERE: 1st and Commercial

You have red hair, beautiful eyes, and had a French Bulldog with you and your friend. You remarked on my dog, would have loved to chat more but had to go chase my little one down the hill as you were coming up.

Reply with something you remember about my dog/our encounter - would looove to have a drink.

I was marching down Granville St on a work mission and passed you in the street. You - tall, handsome and fully dipped out in genuine workwear - not for fashion - plus hand tattoos. Me - masked up, painter pants, Northface trench - hand tattoos. You checked my kicks. Haven’t seen a person who I’ve thought “WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU?” in a long time. So who are you? Shall we get a beer and drink about it?

You walked past me your way to the beer and wine store on the Drive as I stood in the coffee shop doorway with my bicycle, talking on my flip phone‚ then you returned on your way back. We caught eyes, acknowledged, and smiled both times. Both of us brown hair, mine pulled back under a toque and yours pulled up by your ears. I'd love to put down the phone and pick up a conversation with you.

BLUNDSTONE BOY ON BROADWAY

s

r

ALL SMILES AT THE PETRO CANADA PUMP

I SAW A: I AM A: WHEN: NOVEMBER 2, 2020 WHERE: Broadway and Cambie/Ash Broadway boy, you were wearing a bluish/grey plaid shirt with rolled up pants and Blundstones. You were listening to some tunes and walking like you had nowhere to be.

I liked your vibes. I was the girl with bangs, green sweater and black corduroy skirt and Bundstones. Are you free?

SUNNY HALLOWEEN ON THURLOW

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I SAW A: I AM A: WHEN: OCTOBER 31, 2020 WHERE: Thurlow, a Couple of Blocks North of Davie

SHORT HAIR BEAUTY AT ROBERT LEE Y

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I stole your spot at the pump accidentally, then we chatted and both smiled a bunch. The conversation was headed somewhere but all that traffic made it difficult to make out your words. Your smiles and that cute pink toque made me wish I came closer and asked for your name..

WALKING, TALKING, SMILING

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I SAW A: I AM A: WHEN: OCTOBER 24, 2020 WHERE: 1st and Commercial I’d love to put down the phone and walk with you.

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s

I SAW A: I AM A: WHEN: OCTOBER 24, 2020 WHERE: Robert Lee YMCA

KAYLIE AT MATCHSTICK CAFE

You: leaning against a hydro box on Thurlow, chatting with a friend. Me: black leather jacket, green pants and blue toque. We exchanged a smile, and it gave me lift. I’d like to meet you.

r

r

I SAW A: I AM A: WHEN: OCTOBER 26, 2020 WHERE: Petro Canada Capilano Road North Van

You were at the Robert Lee YMCA on Saturday afternoon, working out with your friend. Caught eyes a few times, but I wasn’t interrupting your workout. Aside from being incredibly attractive, loved your short hair. If you’re single, hit me up. #MustLoveBeards

NOVEX COURIER BIKER

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I SAW A: I AM A: WHEN: OCTOBER 23, 2020 WHERE: Gastown

s

I SAW A: I AM A: WHEN: OCTOBER 25, 2020 WHERE: Matchstick Cafe Near Fraser As I got up to leave you offered a smile (all too uncommon in this town). I came over expecting a comment about our sweaters but you blindsided me by saying you remembered me from somewhere.

Then it clicked. We talked but I got the impression it wasn’t going in a romantic direction and wished you a good day waiting for your (boy?) friend to show... Am I mistaken?

I work at an architecture office in Gastown and you came to drop off an envelope today in the afternoon. I couldn’t stop looking at your beautiful fair eyes and I noticed you smiling back at me too.

It was a little awkward and I actually loved it. The whole interaction only lasted a few seconds and all I know is that you are responsible for the deliveries/pick ups in the downtown area. I would love to meet you for a coffee or something, if you’re interested.

Visit straight.com to post your FREE I Saw You _ NOVEMBER 5 – 12 / 2020

THE GEORGIA STR AIGHT

13

SAVAGE LOVE

Sex-obsessed senior needs to be looking online

by Dan Savage

b I’M A NEARLY 80 straight male, with undiminished libido. I have no problem with it, just a persistent curiosity. Like, why now?

And why so various? And is it common among us old geezers? Male and female?

I’m more sex-obsessed than ever before, including adolescence. Until my sixties, tits were my sexual focus, and other body parts were strictly subsidiary, whether I was looking, fantasizing, masturbating, or fucking. Now butts, bellies, assholes, cunts, legs, arms, shoulders are equal turn-ons.

Well, I do have one problem: women aren’t interested in me “that way” anymore. The secret smiles in public are no longer complimentary or inviting or chal-

Scan to conffess

lenging. They’re just fond, polite smiles for a nice-looking old man.

The availability of porn plays a big part in my obsessions. It primes the pump visually, mentally, and physically, by showing more body parts and what can be done with them. Lack of a steady sex partner may also explain my obsession—but I was sometimes without a sex partner when I was younger and I wasn’t similarly obsessed. So is this the usual pattern? Does being relieved of the stress and distractions of work free all retired men—and women—to be perpetually horny or what?

- Geezer Energy Rocks Id And Titillates Retired Isolated Chap

The Georgia Straight Confessions, an outlet for submitting revelations about your private lives—or for the voyeurs among us who want to read what other people have disclosed.

Confession Sometimes every now and then I go to the convenience store and buy myself a pack of Pall Malls. I’ve never smoked any cigarettes in my life but I find myself addicted because having a good smoke helps me digest my food. I even smoked a whole pack of those smooth Pall Malls. Not a very good habit but it’s me.

Latest Binge I’m geeking out on descriptions of exotic musical instruments and laughing at all their silly sounding names.

Living with a dog owner I live with a dog owner who treats her dog like her surrogate child. It’s horrible. Dogs don’t get nuance. This dog needs clear training, as a dog. I suspect, with all the echo chambers online, dog owners will eventually want their fur babies to have human rights (if not already). I honestly believe these people are psycho.

Unemployed and Frustrated I want to work as I can barely scrape by on EI but I can’t find a job. I’ve applied at many and have had no responses. I am highly qualified in my field but because of the restrictions, nobody is hiring. The woman on the phone at Service Canada spoke to me like I was some kind of leech on society for going on EI but I have no other choice!! Plus I waited on hold to speak to an actual person for over 10 hours just to get disconnected multiple times. I’ve spoken to other people this week that experienced this. I have been paying into EI for over 20 years and have never used it. I deserve to get something back so I don’t feel bad even though I’d rather be working.

Visit 14

THE GEORGIA STR AIGHT

to post a Confession NOVEMBER 5 – 12 / 2020

An older letter writer knows that when women smile at him nowadays, it’s not because they are expressing desire or looking for some hot action. Photo by Baylee Gramling/Unsplash.

“I don’t have statistics for GERIATRIC, but

I can tell him that wherever his libido falls on the ‘none’ to ‘yowza’ scale, he’s normal,” said Joan Price, author of Naked at Our Age: Talking Out Loud about Senior Sex. “While it’s true that most seniors see their libidos decrease or at least mellow, I hear from people like GERIATRIC all the time: older folks who feel exuberantly sexy.”

What explains the sudden surge in libido experienced by some seniors?

“There’s a freedom to sex in our older years,” Price said. “We may still get those ‘at your age’ restrictive, shaming messages, but we’re happiest and most fulfilled when we ignore them. So I would advise GERIATRIC to enjoy his charged libido and not to worry about whether it’s a ‘usual pattern.’

Who cares? It’s your pattern. You do you!”

And Price said there are women who’d be down to do you too.

“As he sees it, his problem is that the women he desires ‘aren’t interested,’ ” Price said. “As I see it, his problem is that he’s not actively seeking out women who are.”

Your days of picking up women on the street may be behind you, GERIATRIC, but they’re supposed to be behind us all.

Instead of making women feel unsafe when they’re out in public by assuming a smile is a signal of interest, Price suggests looking for connections online.

“GERIATRIC needs to polish his seduction skills and get on the dating sites,” Price said. “He needs to show a potential bedmate what he has to offer—and I don’t mean a dick pic. He needs to woo a woman with his words—at least to begin with— and, most importantly, he needs to show interest in who she is as a full person, not just the body parts that turn him on.”

But don’t get on dating sites if your bullshit detectors were removed with your gallbladder. If someone seems too good to

be true—if someone seems too young and too hot to be interested in a guy your age— they’re almost certainly a scammer. And if a flirtatious exchange becomes a sob story becomes a money beg, hit the block button.

I’m a firm believer in intergenerational romance, GERIATRIC, but for safety’s sake, you should stay in your generational lane.

That means getting on Our Time and/or Silver Singles instead of Tinder and/or Plenty of Fish. For while there might be a small handful of hot twenty-something gerontophiles in your area, the odds that you’ll find one are too slim to bother trying. And you’ll have better luck going after women closer to your own age.

“Libidinous older women are out there, I can assure him,” Price said. But you’ll have to do the work, GERIATRIC, “since most will want to feel safe and appreciated as well as desired before they invite him into their beds.”

Finally, GERIATRIC, seeing as the horny old man has been a cliché for as long as men have existed, I don’t think you should blame online porn for your predicament. Some people’s libidos ramp up as they age, like Price said, and it sounds like you’re one of those people. Maybe instead of seeing porn as the cause of all your problems, GERIATRIC, you could see porn as your friend. Solo sex can be good sex, and porn is there to help you enjoy it.

Follow Joan Price on Twitter @Joan Price. You can find Price’s books and the educational film she made about senior sex with porn star and sex educator Jessica Drake at her website www.joanprice.com. b I’M A 45-YEAR-OLD straight woman in a monogamous relationship with a 48-yearold straight man. One thing that keeps playing over and over in my mind is some-

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about it now but then told me it was none of my business!

I agree! It’s none of my business! So why did he feel the need to tell me? Then he told me Susan can never know I know because she would feel humiliated. But that’s exactly how I feel!

Are Susan’s feelings more of a priority to him than mine? I’ve hung out with him and Susan three times. I have asked if we can get together again, as a group, so I would feel less insecure about the times they get together without me, but there’s always some excuse for why it’s not possible. It’s been a long time since I’ve been in a relationship and I’ve invested a year in this man. He is a decent guy otherwise, Dan, but this nags at me.

- Boyfriend’s Long-Ago Blowjob

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either playing head games—meaning he was fucking with you on purpose—or he lacked the emotional intelligence and/or impulse control to realize why sharing something like that, at a moment like that, was a bad idea. If he’s the kind of guy who enjoys tormenting the women he dates, BLAB, he would’ve done similar or worse things by now. (And a woman he dated a quarter of a century ago probably wouldn’t be on speaking terms with him, much less one of his closest friends.)

Assuming he hasn’t done similar or worse—I’m guessing you would’ve included other examples in your letter if he had—perhaps he deserves the benefit of the doubt here: he said something stupid and thought-

Your boyfriend was

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less; he couldn’t come up with a good explanation for why he said it; and he doesn’t like to be reminded of it.

As for Susan… He’s known her for 25 years.

If he wanted to be with her, he’d be with her.

And he may be reluctant to get together as a group because he worries—perhaps not without cause—that you might bring it up. If he’s given you no other reason to suspect he might be cheating on you, cram this ancient blowjob down the memory hole. g Email: mail@savagelove.net. Follow Dan on Twitter @FakeDanSavage. On the Savage Lovecast, Dan chats with Adam Sass, author of Surrender Your Sons—an escape-from-conversion-camp thriller: www.savagelovecast.com.

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It turns out “Susan” is his best friend.

I had not met her yet and this was the first thing I knew about her. When I asked why he told me this, his response was that he was half asleep. He wasn’t. When I pressed further, he told me it was something that happened a long time ago and that they laugh

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