The Georgia Straight - Losing Sleep - December 10, 2020 by The Georgia Straight

DECEMBER 10 – 17 / 2020 | FREE

Volume 54 | Number 2759

HORGAN’S SNUB

PREMIER UPSETS MLA’S ADMIRERS

HOOKED ON EGGNOG

HOMAGE TO AVALON DAIRY

LOSING SLEEP Why the pandemic could be disrupting your circadian rhythms

PANTO RETURNS

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STARBUCKS CLOSURES

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COHOUSING

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AFGHAN FILMS

FINANCE

Vanishing Starbucks part of company’s new service model

CONTENTS

December 10 – 17 / 2020

COVER

The pandemic is causing people to gain weight as they spend more time indoors, which is elevating the risk of sleep disorders with serious consequences.

by Charlie Smith

By Charlie Smith Cover illustration by Jeff Kulak

NEWS

Canadians with roots in the Philippines feel that Premier John Horgan misread their community by not putting Mable Elmore in cabinet. By Carlito Pablo

10 LIQUOR

Delicious and locally produced Avalon eggnog makes a mockery of the mass-produced slop marketed by eastern supermarket giants. By Mike Usinger

Starbucks has been closing stores across Canada, but the coffee giant hasn’t abandoned its customers. Instead, it’s building a “bridge to the future” with mobile and drive-through service.

t hasn’t been an easy month for the many lovers of Starbucks coffee on Vancouver’s West Side. That’s because several outlets have closed, including the spacious store on West 10th Avenue in Point Grey Village, which is photographed above. Other West Side Starbucks stores have recently been shuttered in the 1700 block of West Broadway and in the 2200 and 2900 blocks of West 4th Avenue. It’s part of a two-year plan revealed in a Securities and Exchange Commission document on June 10. At the time, the company announced that it expected to open a net total of 300 new stores in the fiscal year in the Americas, down from an original plan for 600. “This repositioning will include the closure of up to 400 company-operated stores over the next 18 months in conjunction with the opening, over time, of a greater number of new, repositioned stores in different locations and with innovative store formats, yielding a U.S. portfolio that is optimized to enhance the customer experience, expand our retail presence and enable profitable growth for the future,” Starbucks said. Here was the kicker for Canadians: “In addition to the U.S. store repositioning described above, we will restructure our company-operated business in Canada over the next two years, with the potential of up to 200 additional stores being closed, with some of those stores being repositioned.” The Seattle-based coffee giant is expanding its capacity to increase sales through mobile, drive-through, and curbside pickup. It calls this it’s “bridge to the future” strategy. “Starbucks stores have always been known as the ’third place,’ a welcoming place outside of our home and work where we connect over a cup of coffee,” Starbucks CEO Kevin Johnson said in June. “As we navigate through the COVID-19

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crisis, we are accelerating our store transformation plans to address the realities of the current situation, while still providing a safe, familiar and convenient experience for our customers.” Last month, Starbucks Canada announced that all of its company-operated stores in Alberta, Saskatchewan, and Maintoba will be converted to a “to-go” model. As a result, it disclosed that “all seating will be temporarily paused or removed, including patio and outdoor areas”. In its most recent Form 10-K fi ling with the U.S. Securities and Exchange Commission for the fiscal year that ended on September 27, Starbucks reported that it had 1,159 stores in Canada. That was down from 1,175 a year earlier. Over the last fiscal year, 58 new stores opened, whereas 74 closed in Canada. The biggest growth occurred in China during the past fiscal year, where 613 new stores opened and 32 closed. Starbucks had 4,123 stores in China on September 27, second to the 8,791 stores in the U.S. Three-quarters of Starbucks revenue came from beverages, with 20 percent from food, one percent from packaged and single-serve coffees and teas, and four percent from other sources. From December 8 to 14, Starbucks Canada is offering a “Buy One Get One Free” promotion for grande and larger handcrafted beverages at participating stores and drive-through locations. It’s designed to increase sales during the holiday season. Customers must visit the website and sign up for the promotion. If they click an optional box at the bottom, they’ll receive news, promotions, information, and offers in the future via email. The overall corporate strategy appears to be a hit with investors. Starbucks shares are up 39 percent since the end of trading on June 11, closing on December 8 at US101.21 on NASDAQ. g

DECEMBER 10 – 17 / 2020

FOOD

Food reviewers often evaluate the quality of the cooking and the service, but at Les Faux Bourgeois, we considered its pandemic response. By Charlie Smith

e Online TOP 5

e Start Here

13 8 15 14 5 2 12 9 14

ARTS CANNABIS CLASSIFIEDS CONFESSIONS ESPORTS FINANCE MOVIES REAL ESTATE SAVAGE LOVE

Vancouver’s News and Entertainment Weekly Volume 54 | Number 2759 1635 West Broadway, Vancouver, B.C. V6J 1W9 T: 604.730.7000 F: 604.730.7010 E: gs.info@straight.com straight.com

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EDITOR Charlie Smith SECTION EDITORS Mike Usinger (ESports/Liquor/Music) Steve Newton SENIOR EDITOR Martin Dunphy ASSOCIATE EDITOR John Lucas (Cannabis) STAFF WRITERS Carlito Pablo (Real Estate) Craig Takeuchi SOLUTIONS ARCHITECT Jeff Li ART DEPARTMENT MANAGER Janet McDonald

Here’s what people are reading this week on Straight.com.

1 2 3 4 5

Investment firm seeks to unload eight retail holdings at Robson Street condo. COVID-19 in B.C.: 35 new deaths and more than 2,000 new cases. Festival of Lights and Bright Nights Christmas Train cancelled. Tim Louis: How to stop the Ice Pick for good. It insults us all! Eight individuals at mink farm in Fraser Valley test positive for COVID-19. @GeorgiaStraight

GRAPHIC DESIGNER Miguel Hernandez PRODUCTION SUPERVISOR Mike Correia PRODUCTION Sandra Oswald SALES DIRECTOR Tara Lalanne ADVERTISING REPRESENTATIVES Glenn Cohen, Catherine Tickle, Robyn Marsh (on leave), Manon Paradis, David Pearlman CONTENT AND MARKETING SPECIALIST Rachel Moore CIRCULATION MANAGER Giles Roy CREDIT MANAGER Shannon Li ACCOUNTING SUPERVISOR Tamara Robinson

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NEWS

Filipinos feel ignored after Elmore cabinet snub

by Carlito Pablo

or a party that thinks it has Filipinos in its pocket, the B.C. NDP of Premier John Horgan has shown how little it understands the community. This is how community pioneer Rudy Antonio frames the context of the deep and seething dissatisfaction among many Filipinos with Horgan and his New Democrats. It’s rooted in Horgan’s and his inner circle’s rejection of the community’s request to name Mable Elmore—who is the province’s first (and still only) Filipino-Canadian member of the legislative assembly (MLA)—to a seat in cabinet. But it also goes beyond Elmore, Antonio explained.

THE GEORGIA STR AIGHT

It extends to the community’s sentiment that it gets no respect from Horgan and the New Democrats. “We’ve been really ignored,” Antonio told the Straight in a phone interview. Antonio has earned the right to speak about the manner in which many Filipinos here think and feel, especially among immigrants. The Philippine-born man arrived in Vancouver in 1972, ahead of many, when the community was still very small. The health-care entrepreneur has been involved with many community associations, choosing largely to play low-key but influential roles. “Filipinos, in general, are meek. I guess

DECEMBER 10 – 17 / 2020

NDP MLA Mable Elmore was nixed twice for a cabinet position by B.C. premier John Horgan.

that goes into our nature, that we don’t say much until we’re pushed to the wall,” he said. Antonio also noted that many immigrant Filipinos take pride in their resiliency, that they feel content and secure as long as they have a stable job and are able to avail themselves of public services and benefits like everyone else. “We do not expect anything from anyone other than ourselves,” Antonio said. When elections are over with, Filipinos get on with their lives, just like most people. Filipinos also don’t typically ask for boons—there is a phrase in Tagalog that goes: minsan lang humiling, “rarely asking for a favour”—and Antonio said that it was exceptional when individuals and community associations petitioned Horgan to include Elmore in his cabinet. Because it was such an extraordinary move from the community, it hurt when Elmore was passed over. Rubbing salt in the wound was the memory that Elmore was previously snubbed when Horgan and the B.C. NDP first formed government in 2017, a slight about which the community kept quiet. It stings, something that community member Bert Quibuyen described as a “slap in the face”. What makes it worse is that before Horgan unveiled his cabinet choices almost two weeks ago, on November 26, he knew that the community would feel slighted if Elmore did not get a place at the cabinet table. “Anything less amounts to the continued marginalization of our community and is an affront to the dedication and service of Filipinos to B.C. over the years,” stated a letter signed by some 50 community organizations. Antonio helped spearhead the preparation and gathering of signatures for that letter. “They may think that, ‘Oh, yeah. The community will get over it eventually,’ ” Antonio said about Horgan and his New Democrats.

Online meetings in the community have been going on before and after the unveiling of the new cabinet. Four days after the cabinet announcement, on November 30, Elmore supporters issued a media release following an online meeting of community leaders, who were “frustrated of not being heard”. “When we have diversity in leadership, we are all better for it,” Rachel Abonita said in the release. According to Abonita, Filipinos “feel undervalued”. “Let’s continue to organize and make sure we are counted,” Abonita said. During the campaign for the October 24, 2020, election, Horgan earned a lot of goodwill in the Filipino community. This came about when he promised to support the community’s desire to see a Filipino cultural centre in Metro Vancouver. In its election platform, the B.C. NDP promised to “support the creation of dedicated arts and culture spaces”. During a call by Horgan with representatives of different community media associations, Filipino-Canadian publisher Rey Fortaleza followed up on this platform pledge. Responding to Fortaleza’s question about what Filipinos should expect from a B.C. NDP government, Horgan said: “We believe that at the core of every community is the cultural components that make it up.” With Elmore getting snubbed for cabinet a second time, Horgan is likely losing goodwill in the community. In the November 30 media release, Rafael “R J” Aquino stated that the Filipino community is “done with being ignored and taken for granted”. “We will not stop speaking up until we get the recognition Filipinos deserve, and we won’t accept empty gestures,” Aquino said. Aquino added that the community “understands what meaningful action looks like, and that’s what we’re asking for”. Although Antonio described many Filipino immigrants as rather shy, he said he is very encouraged that members of the second and third generations are more assertive. They’re also more articulate and very knowledgeable about how politics is played in Canada. “That is changing because of the new generation. The younger generation is getting involved,” he said. As for Horgan and his inner circle, Antonio said they need to open avenues of discussions with the community. “Give us time; we’ll have a dialogue,” Antonio said. “We want to voice what we think.” Perhaps then Horgan and his New Democrats will have a better appreciation of how Filipinos think and feel. g

ESPORTS

IJESPORTS looking to raise the bar on research

by John Lucas

s far as editorial boards go, IJESPORTS boasts an impressive one. The list includes academics from the United States, the U.K., China, Sweden, Germany, and elsewhere. They include experts in fields ranging from osteopathic medicine and psychology to computer science and marketing. What they have in common, however, is an interest in ESports as a subject of rigorous research. Aaron Koshy is the chief editor of IJESPORTS (a.k.a. the International Journal of Esports). He is also an academic cardiologist at the University of Leeds. In a recent interview with the Straight, Koshy acknowledged that a number of other academic journals have published ESports research. These journals don’t specialize in the topic, however. Because of that, they often compel researchers to include longwinded explanations of what ESports means. Nor is that the only issue, according to Koshy. “When it comes to the critical part, which is the peer review—on the back end that no one else sees—the ESports side of the research generally seems to get a free pass” he says. “That’s because the peer reviewers won’t necessarily be experts on the ESports side.” In other words, they often lack the

The journal released its first edition online in September. It includes articles on such subjects as the potential of physiological-monitoring technologies in ESports and the true market size of the industry. “We, as currently the only journal focusing on ESports research, are interested in receiving submissions from across the board,” Koshy notes. “So, every single discipline.” The journal intends to reach out to the next generation of ESports researchers. “There are a lot of students who are interested in ESports, and they’re struggling to find opportunities to stand out,” Koshy says. “And we think academia is one that isn’t talked about enough. So we’re in the process of organizing essay competitions and project awards with our industry partners so that we can really offer more opportunities to students across the world.” g

IJESPORTS is taking a new attitude to esports. Photo by SeventyFour/iStock/Getty Images Plus.

knowledge required to hold the work up to the scrutiny it deserves. As a result, these journals tend to set a low bar where ESports research is concerned. “So to me that was a clear sign that there was a need for a journal focusing on ESports research,” Koshy says. “It’s happening—increasingly more so every year—so there should be a place for this.” That place is IJESPORTS. It describes itself as “an open-access double-blinded peer-reviewed academic journal which takes a high-

quality approach to esports research”. “Because our unique selling point is quality, we can’t compromise on academic rigour,” Koshy says. “Otherwise we contradict ourselves. So it will be of an academic standard. And thus we are aiming to make sure that academics involved in ESports find the publications of interest. But it is also equally important that people from the industry itself—ESports players, ESports teams—find it interesting, because that’s how they apply the knowledge.”

MORE ESPORTS ONLINE AT ECENTRALSPORTS.COM

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THE GEORGIA STR AIGHT

HEALTH

Pandemic increases likelihood of sleep disorders

Sleep apnea has been linked to a greater risk of cardiovascular disease, depression, and memory loss

by Charlie Smith

t’s sometimes called “Quarantine 19”. Higher stress levels, more time snacking at home, and less exercise is causing the expansion of waistlines during the pandemic. A WebMD poll of 1,000 readers found that almost half of female respondents and one quarter of men admitted gaining weight since the outbreak of COVID-19. A different survey of 1,500 Canadians by Leger reported that 32 percent had gained weight since the pandemic started. What many don’t realize is that weight gain is increasing the likelihood of sleep apnea, a serious disorder in which people repeatedly stop and start breathing after dozing off. Fernanda Almeida, an associate professor in UBC’s faculty of dentistry, told the Straight by phone that if sleep apnea goes untreated, it can lead to a range of serious health issues, including cardiovascular disease, high blood pressure, depression, and dementia. Another consequences of severe sleep apnea is a higher risk of having accidents during the day, due to being less alert. According to Almeida, there’s a strong

A temporary relaxation of throat muscles can close a person’s airway, resulting in them waking up repeatedly for very short intervals throughout the night. Photo by Rafal Jedrzeje/Unsplash.

link between obesity and sleep apnea. It results from the temporary relaxation of soft tissues in the throat, closing a person’s airway while they snore. “What we normally say is if you can lose,

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THE GEORGIA STR AIGHT

DECEMBER 10 – 17 / 2020

for example, 20 percent of your weight, you can decrease your apnea by half,” Almeida said. “That’s what we tell patients who have 20 percent to lose.” At the same time, she emphasized that

it’s possible to have sleep apnea even if you’re not obese. The majority of patients are not aware they keep waking up during their sleep, Almeida added. That’s because these “mini awakenings”, also called “arousals”, only last between three to 10 seconds. “We can only see them by looking at an electroencephalogram,” she said. Almeida pointed out that fragmented sleep can also affect memory in ways that have only recently become known. The glymphatic system cleans the brain, mostly when a person is sleeping. But she said that repeatedly waking up in the middle of the night, even for tiny intervals, interferes with this process. And if the brain’s synapses aren’t properly cleaned, this debris can accumulate over time. “That would make patients with sleep apnea more prone to having dementia and Alzheimer’s disease because of that mechanism,” Almeida declared. The same issue can be a contributing factor in depression. see next page

As humans, we are day-active and we sleep at night – sleep researcher Myriam Juda

But sleep apnea isn’t the only potential consequence of staying home 24/7, not exercising, and constantly gobbling goodies from the fridge. Those who don’t go outside—which is easy to justify nowadays—also risk disrupting their circadian rhythms. This is the natural internal process that regulates our sleeping and waking cycle. Vancouver sleep researcher and neuroscientist Myriam Juda said that when these rhythms are disrupted, it can lead to severe health outcomes, such as higher incidence of depression and diabetes, as well as cardiovascular disease. Juda—an adjunct professor of psychology at Simon Fraser University and research manager at UBC’s BRAIN Lab— told the Straight by phone that human beings tend to believe that the sleep-wake schedule is very much under their control. In fact, it’s physiologically regulated and is

Sleep researcher Myriam Juda emphasizes the importance of exposure to natural light in the day.

a product of human evolution. “The circadian clock synchronizes to our environment,” Juda explained. “The most reliable indicator in our environment is the light-dark cycle of the sun. That is a 24-hour clock. And over millions of years, we have evolved mechanisms to synchronize to the light-dark cycle of the sun on a continuous basis.” She added that photoreceptors in the eyes have the sole function of providing information on light and darkness to the hypothalamus in the brain. That then regulates sleep patterns. “As humans, we are day-active and we sleep at night,” she pointed out. “This is

not because we have decided to do so at some point.” But if we’re not exposed to natural light, this affects the amplitude of circadian rhythms. According to Juda, a high amplitude means a person is sleepy at night, whereas a lower amplitude is associated with being awake and more energetic during the day. These rhythms flatten when people are not exposed to natural light. That can result in less restful sleep at night and more fatigue during the day. “It’s not a very nice way of living,” Juda said. “It increases your risk of accidents, including car accidents, and it affects your productivity and your mental health.”

Fortunately, there are relatively easy ways to address disrupted circadian rhythms and sleep apnea. And by taking action, it’s possible to reduce the likelihood of devastating health outcomes. Juda said that being exposed to two hours of natural daylight each day will improve circadian rhythms, facilitating a deeper sleep at night and more wakefulness in the day. And if a person doesn’t have two hours to spent outside, it’s possible to maximize the benefits of natural light by stepping out earlier in the day. “Fifteen minutes in the morning is equivalent to a few hours of light exposure in the afternoon,” she said. As for sleep apnea, Almeida cited several treatments, including “oral appliances”. These are retainerlike devices that either pull the mandible or the tongue forward. “There are more than 100 already FDAapproved that are out there,” she said. “Now there are good companies that do them very precisely, with warranties.” Another option is continuous-positiveairway-pressure machines, a.k.a. CPAPs, which apply atmospheric pressure through a mask to the upper airway. Almeida said that CPAPs work exceptionally well, but many people dislike donning a mask every night before going to sleep. “With the oral appliances, they do decrease the apneas as well, but less effectively than the CPAP,” she stated. “But they’re so much easier to use. Patients tend to use them every night, all night long.” g

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THE GEORGIA STR AIGHT

CANNABIS

Researchers say that CBD won’t impair motorists

by John Lucas

study published earlier this month in the Journal of the American Medical Association shows that the cannabis component CBD does not impair driving. This shouldn’t surprise anyone—CBD (or cannabidiol) has no psychoactive effects. It does, however, add to the body of evidence that could shape regulations around cannabis and road safety. Thomas Arkell of the University of Sydney’s Lambert Initiative for Cannabinoid Therapeutics led the study. Prof. Jan Ramaekers’s team conducted the research at Maastricht University in the Netherlands. In the study, 26 healthy participants vaped four different types of cannabis

in a random order on four separate occasions. The cannabis samples contained different ratios of CBD and THC—the latter of which does have psychoactive effects. Researchers then assessed each participant’s driving performance on the road in real-world conditions. Participants drove along a 100-kilometre stretch of public highway in a dual-control car with a driving instructor present. The study found that cannabis containing mainly CBD did not impair. Cannabis containing THC, or a THC/CBD mixture, did cause mild impairment. Researchers detected this impairment 40 minutes later, but not after four hours. “These findings indicate for the first time

Consuming CBD by itself won’t create chaos on roads. Photo by Spencer Davis/Unsplash.

that CBD, when given without THC, does not affect a subject’s ability to drive,” Arkell stated in a December 1 news release. “That’s

great news for those using or considering treatment using CBD-based products.” Arkell’s native Australia legalized cannabis for medicinal use in 2016. Federal laws, however, still prohibit recreational use. “With cannabis laws changing globally, jurisdictions are grappling with the issue of cannabis-impaired driving,” he stated. “These results provide muchneeded insights into the magnitude and duration of impairment caused by different types of cannabis and can help to guide road-safety policy not just in Australia but around the world.” He added that the “results should allow for evidence-based laws and regulation for people receiving medical cannabis”. g

NWT Mounties’ 90-gram weed bust attracts online derision

by Dana Larsen

n late November the Northwest Territories RCMP posted on Twitter and Facebook about a 90-gram cannabis bust. They called it “a considerable quantity of illegal cannabis,” and said that trafficking charges were pending. Most would consider 90 grams a relatively small amount of cannabis. Even so, CBC, Yahoo News, MSN, and other media outlets covered the bust. The NWT RCMP’s Facebook post has received over 1,000 comments. Virtually all of them deride the police for wasting time and resources on such a small bust. Many commenters said they would rather see a focus on solving cases related to the Missing and Murdered Indigenous Women and Girls. Others mocked the RCMP for treating a three-ounce cannabis bust as worthy of being bragged about on social media. There is a massive class-action lawsuit against the RCMP for discrimination and excessive force against Indigenous people

THE GEORGIA STR AIGHT

DECEMBER 10 – 17 / 2020

in Canada’s North. A separate class-action lawsuit seeks over $1 billion for RCMP officers who suffered bullying and harassment from superiors. The latter suit is led by Staff Sgt. Geoff Greenwood. He claims he endured torment from fellow officers after reporting allegations of bribery and corruption among the NWT RCMP drug squad. Greenwood alleges RCMP officers accepted upwards of $60,000 to destroy evidence and leak the locations of undercover officers and upcoming drug raids. None of the allegations have been proven in court. g

MORE CANNABIS ONLINE AT CANNCENTRAL.COM

REAL ESTATE

Cohousing model builds its own neighbourhoods

by Carlito Pablo

lizabeth Rosenau misses the joy of living in a place where everyone knows and cares for each other. As a young woman, she belonged to two housing cooperatives. One was in Burnaby, the other in Surrey. “There is a very human connection in the community,” Rosenau recalled of the cooperative living she experienced in her 20s, during a phone interview with the Straight. She has since resided in single-family homes, raised a family, and worked as a pharmacist. Rosenau is now retired and lives at a Maple Ridge strata property where residents know each other only superficially. Her children are grown and have their own homes. It’s also time for her to downsize. “If I live to be 90, I would love to live in a place where I know a lot of people and they know me,” she said. This explains her excitement when she discovered the concept of cohousing and joined a group that is going to build this kind of community. Cohousing is a collaborative-housing model. A bunch of people come together, pool their resources, and jointly develop a housing project. Each one gets an individual residence, and all share amenities, typically found in a common house. The group also manages and maintains the development. Ownership is through strata title. The concept started in Denmark during the 1960s. According to the Canadian Cohousing Network, it arrived in North America in the 1980s. Some people call it a “return to the best of small-town communities”, the nonprofit group says online about cohousing. “Others say they are like a traditional village or the close-knit neighbourhood where they grew up, while futurists call them an altogether new response to social, economic and environmental challenges of the 21st century,” the organization explains. “Each holds a piece of the truth.” These neighbourhoods “combine the autonomy of private dwellings with the advantages of shared resources and community living”. Canada’s first cohousing community was born in Langley, B.C. Known as WindSong Housing, the neighbourhood opened in 1996. Scores of cohousing communities have since sprouted across the province and the rest of the country. It took 20 years before the concept finally arrived in Vancouver. In 2016, the first one to appear in the city, simply called Vancouver Cohousing, opened on East 33rd Avenue. The planned cohousing community to which Rosenau belongs has strong ties with Langley’s WindSong.

The group developing Compass Cohousing has made a down payment on a half-hectare of land in Langley, where it will develop 40 homes.

She said that Howard Staples, an original WindSong member, works as her group’s cohousing consultant. Moreover, the idea began with current WindSong member Alan Carpenter and a set of grandparents who frequently visit family members at the community. “Both of the grandparents had a background in teaching, and they were struck not only by how friendly, polite, and helpful the children of WindSong were but also by how beautifully children of all ages played together there,” Rosenau related. Rosenau’s group is called Compass Cohousing, and that is also connected with WindSong: she recalled that there used to be a large mosaic of a compass embedded in the floor near the front entrance of that cohousing community. She said the name may still change, as future new members will have a say. “We do, however, love the metaphor of a compass as a useful tool to help you find your way home,” Rosenau said. Many early meetings of Compass Cohousing members were held at WindSong’s common house. The future cohousing community will be the second in the Langley area. Compass Cohousing has put a down payment on a half-hectare of land owned

If I live to be 90, I would love to live in a place where I know a lot of people and they know me. – Elizabeth Rosenau

by the Township of Langley. It has also submitted a rezoning application. The land sale will become complete after the township approves the rezoning application. This measure will allow the group to develop 40 homes on the property, which is near a shopping area, transit, and schools. The development will feature townhouses, a three-storey apartment building, and a common house. The group is working with architects AMA and the Lark Group, a builder and developer. When the Straight spoke with Rosenau, her group was finalizing the details of the community’s landscaping plan, which forms part of its development permit application. “We would like our landscape to be an edible landscape,” Rosenau said on the line. “So it’s not just exotic and beautiful

trees but also trees with fruit and shrubs with fruit and gardens with herbs.” Rosenau wants to get a home with a large patio that backs on a future park next to the property. “I have such a large plant collection, including bonsai, that I want to have space at the ground level,” she said. The future community will be multigenerational, with young families and people who plan to age in place. The planned common house is going to be a freestanding building that will feature amenities like a music studio, woodworking shop, children’s play areas, laundry room, exercise area, and guest suites for visitors. “The houses are a little bit smaller, but the possibilities are a lot greater for cooperation and sharing,” Rosenau said. According to her, cohousing is different from developer-driven housing. “Rather than building homes and waiting for buyers, you start by building the community and then collaboratively build the place you want to live [in] together,” she said. The process of creating homes teaches everyone to work together and build consensus, Rosenau said. The future residents and neighbours at Compass Cohousing hope to move into their homes after two years. “We will look after each other,” Rosenau said. g

DECEMBER 10 – 17 / 2020

THE GEORGIA STR AIGHT

LIQUOR

Eggnog a Christmas tradition that’s also a problem

by Mike Usinger

hose who have spent any time around me during the holiday season know I have a problem. Actually, make that several of them. The short list starts with a crippling addiction to Sailor Jerry rum balls, which have to be made by hand and with double the booze called for by Canadian Living. Then there’s a complete and utter obsession with Christmas movies. From Bad Santa to Silent Night, Deadly Night, and Elf to It’s a Wonderful Life, ’tis the season to take deep root on the couch during the month of December. Thankfully, the one thing COVID-19 has been good for this opening stretch of Christmas is providing a great excuse for declining invitations for dinner, drinks, and trips to Turkish steam rooms. Why leave the house when you’ve got every evening for the next three weeks planned around a Santa-sized sack of Christmas Crazee pot cookies and the timeless classics of Rankin/Bass? Moving along, six full days are required to decorate the house, which begins with crippling indecision over where the miniature Charlie Brown Christmas tree, A Christmas Story leg lamp, and vintage Santa Claus salt and pepper shakers will be placed. Follow that with an endless debate about whether—

Just like Christmas trees and Rudolph figurines, rum and eggnog is a part of the holidays.

because of mixing eras—it’s okay to position the Buddy the Elf bobblehead next to the Bedford Falls Main Street diorama and Jack Skellington snowglobe. Then it’s on to who gets top billing for the Rudoph the Red-Nosed Reindeer display on

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DECEMBER 10 – 17 / 2020

the fireplace mantle: the Island of Misfit Toys crew, Hermey the dentist, Yukon Cornelius, or the endlessly bullied (until he can prove he’s actually good for something) teenage deer with the facial deformity. And somehow, and almost impossibly, all of these Christmas-season problems pale when compared to the one I have with eggnog. In the beginning, that particular relationship was all about an occasional random hookup that was never terribly satisfactory. Blame that on multinational food corporations. For most of us, the introduction to eggnog comes at major supermarkets like Safeway and No Frills. There’s no point calling out their featured brands here; let’s just say you know them for having a consistency that suggests week-old egg yolks mixed with industrial horse glue. And tasting like Ray Charles was responsible for measuring out the sugar, corn starch, and guar gum. Unless you happen to be part fly with a thing for drinks you can stand a spoon up in, a rumand-mass-produced-eggnog once a week is more than enough. Revisiting ancient history for a second, eggnog has been a thing forever. It dates right back to the 12th century, when British monks decided a great way to make abstinence more tolerable was to mix warm ale and/or wine with eggs, figs, and random spices. In those times the drink was called posset. The origins of what we know today as traditional rum-based eggnog can be traced back to the early settlers of America and Canada. With U.K. whiskeys priced above the reach of the common rabble, that steered imbibers to rum from the Carribean, which was actually affordable at the local Ye Olde Liquor Store outlet. Early proponents of booze-spiked ’nog before dinner, after dinner, and on one’s morning cornflakes included George

Washingon. Falling under the umbrella of pantaloon-remover, the first American president’s home eggnog included Jamaican rum, rye whiskey, sherry, brandy, heaps of sugar, cream, milk, and a pre-paid taxi coupon for the horse-and-buggy ride home. But enough about that guy—back to me. My love of eggnog can be traced to taking a chance on Avalon Dairy during a long-ago trip to IGA. The initial attraction was a decidedly retro-looking glass bottle. But after getting home, bang—the hook was sunk instantly. Pleasantly rodolent of nutmeg and cinammon, Avalon’s eggnog was a revelation in that it wasn’t overly sweet or weirdly viscous. Today, the dairy boasts that its seasonal sensation is favoured by four out of five Santas. Not to mention nine out of 10 difibulator manufacturers—but you can worry about getting heart smart in the New Year. Since that glorious day of discovery at IGA it’s been all rum and eggnog all the time every December, the recipe changing depending on what’s in the house. Sometimes it’s Avalon with Sailor Jerry or Mount Gay and a splash of brandy, others with an additional shot of Kahlúa (credit for which goes to the great Vancouver writer John Lucas). It not all smooth sailing on a sea of delicious Avalon eggnog every year, though. I sometimes end up in Toronto for Christmas, where the liquid pride of the West Coast doesn’t exist. That’s required either going the spiced horse-glue route at Zehrs, or getting busy in the kitchen. For reasons that have everything to do with liquor-nerd snobbery, you can guess which option wins. Two Internet eggnog recipes stand out above all others, one by Bobby Flay, and the other by Alton Brown. And not to play favourites, but Brown’s is the gold standard. Google it, crack a dozen eggs or so, start mixing, and you’ll be an instant fan. Which is to say, you’ll end up with a problem. To which I’ll be able to relate. And while we’re talking problems, after about two hours of obsessive rearranging, the Island of Misfit toys crew ended up frontand-centre on the fireplace mantle this year. Given the kind of year it’s been, that was the right choice. Here’s an recipe you can make if you don’t feel like going the Alton Brown route. WEST COAST EGGNOG

1.5 oz Mount Gay Eclipse Rum 1/2 oz Kahlúa 1.5 oz whole milk 3 oz Avalon Dairy Egg Nog Pour into a tall glass over ice, stir, and top with powdered cinammon and nutmeg. g Mike Usinger is not a professional bartender. He does, however, spend most of his waking hours sitting on barstools.

FOOD

Les Faux Bourgeois gets it right in the pandemic

by Charlie Smith

nyone who has been visiting Metro Vancouver restaurants during the pandemic has noticed distinct differences in safety levels. Some require you to write your contact information down with a pen used by previous diners. In other eateries, staff write this down themselves. That’s to ensure you can be contacted if anyone in the restaurant had COVID-19 while you were on the premises. In some restaurants, servers still chat you up during the meal. In other dining establishments, staff keep their interactions to a minimum. For those fearing COVID-19, a restaurant’s safety measures have become as important as the food itself. Then there’s Les Faux Bourgeois, which I would characterize as Vancouver’s perfect pandemic restaurant. The French bistro in Fraserhood did everything right during a recent visit. Not only was the food exquisite, but safety measures exceeded anything I’ve witnessed in a restaurant since March. Let’s start with the dinner itself. I knew I was in for a treat as soon as the bread arrived. That’s because the garlic-flavoured butter left me feeling like I was savouring something from the Parisian neighbourhood of SaintGermain. Rich and succulent.

Les Faux Bourgeois, in East Van’s Fraserhood, takes exceptional care with pandemic safety measures and also happens to offer exquisite food, like beef Parmentier (left). Photos by Charlie Smith.

The beef Parmentier—a French version of shepherd’s pie—was a deliciously moist casserole. Accessorized with pearl onions, carrots, and mushrooms, and topped with mashed potatoes and herbs, it was a hearty antidote to a rainy and cold December night. The garlic spinach and the chocolate mousse dessert were also superb, though the steak frites could have benefited from a stronger peppercorn sauce. All things considered, the meal was magnifique. So why is it also the best pandemic

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restaurant that I’ve entered? First off, my dining companion was immediately instructed to wear a mask when not at the table. I was even advised to wear a mask if I wanted to use the washroom. Plus, there was hand sanitizer right at the entrance. It was impossible to ignore. And we were greeted by a masked staff member standing behind Plexiglas. We were seated at a perfectly polished, dark wood dining table. But even more importantly, Plexiglas separated each table,

enhancing the safety of everyone in the restaurant. And there was ample space between the tables. That’s not all. The server darted in and out, choosing to dispense with the usual chit-chat. Chalk up another mark for reducing the risk of infection. But what really stood out at Les Faux Bourgeois was the lack of walk-in traffic. During the pandemic, there has been a constant parade of drivers from SkipTheDishes and Uber Eats and takeout customers showing up at restaurants across the region. Takeout is necessary for these dining establishments to remain in business. But for those who dine in, it’s often distracting and, on some occasions, worrisome, particularly when these visitors aren’t wearing masks. Les Faux Bourgeois, on the other hand, does takeout in a different way. It sends those picking up orders to a separate entrance. That ensures they’re never clogging up the dining room. It makes for a far more tranquil and genteel experience. It’s the one place in town where you can actually forget about COVID-19 for a sustained period of time. And that’s why it’s my choice as the best pandemic restaurant—so far. g

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MOVIES

Director uncovers Afghanistan’s hidden film history Ariel Nasr’s documentary The Forbidden Reel shows a side of the country that few Canadians have seen by Charlie Smith

Yasmin Yarmal starred in Engineer Latif’s Hamaseh Ishq (Epic of Love), the first Afghan movie shot in colour; Latif returned from exile to find his films preserved in this modern-day Kabul neighbourhood.

ardly any Canadians know that Afghanistan had a growing and creative film industry that drove progressive social change for decades. So Halifax filmmaker Ariel Nasr, the son of an immigrant from Kabul, decided to do something about it. His 2019 National Film Board documentary, The Forbidden Reel, is an ambitious, compelling, and emotionally rich exploration of Afghanistan’s history as seen through the prism of its film industry. And it tells how employees at Afghan Film—that country’s equivalent of the National Film Board—took tremendous risks to save that archive of films created from the 1960s to the early 1990s, even as Taliban officials wanted them destroyed. “There’s this fervent love for cinema— this determination or refusal to quit,” Nasr tells the Straight by phone. “And so a lot of this sort of turned inward to the preservation of the older films because there were no funds to make anything new.” At times, the film conveys the joyful and peaceful life that existed in Afghanistan before the country descended into violence in the early 1980s. Nasr features some of the most influential members of Afghanistan’s film industry from that bygone era, including director Engineer Latif. He’s really the father of cinema in that country, with memorable films highlighting class differences and showing modern women in leadership roles. Others who appear at length on-screen 12

THE GEORGIA STR AIGHT

include directors Siddiq Barmal and Yussef Jannesar, as well as actor Yasmin Yarmal. ”There’s a lot of diversity in terms of the style, but there are certain things you can point to,” Nasr says of Afghan films. “And one of them is this…tendency to use real locations filled with real people as a backdrop for fictional stories.” This was apparent in The Forbidden Reel’s clips of Akhtar-e Maskara (Akhtar, the Joker), one of Latif’s most memorable movies. Made in 1981 during Afghan’s Communist era, it’s a tragic tale of a working-class character who is adopted as a mascot by an upper-class family. “Where we show him walking around in the street is more or less an open natural location,” Nasr says. “It hasn’t been locked down. It’s not filled with extras. In a certain way, it has that in common with Italian neorealism where…they were shooting on the backdrop of war-ravaged cities.” The Forbidden Reel marks Nasr’s fourth film on Afghanistan that he has either written, directed, or produced. Among them is the fictional short, Buzkashi Boys, which was nominated for an Academy Award in 2013 for best live-action short film. “As time went by and I both saw history unfolding in Afghanistan and also the media that was coming out of Afghanistan, I began to feel more and more in my work that I wanted to put Afghan voices in the forefront,” Nasr says. “I wanted to use my work to frame other

DECEMBER 10 – 17 / 2020

Afghan storytellers in a certain way.” One of those Afghan storytellers in his film is Brooklyn-based artist, writer, filmmaker, and teacher Mariam Ghani. She also happens to be the daughter of the president of Afghanistan, though that was glossed over in Nasr’s film.

I wanted to use my work to frame other Afghan storytellers... – Filmmaker Ariel Nasr

Ghani spent a great deal of time in the archives of Afghan Film and she helps contextualize their importance in The Forbidden Reel. For example, she says that pieces of Afghanistan’s history are starting to resurface as a result of the old movies being accessible again. And these images have made it possible for Afghans to discuss the Communist period from 1978 to 1992 with “some kind of honesty and completeness that was not possible five years ago”. However, she quickly adds that it’s still not possible to do that about the Mujahadeen

period that began in 1992 or the Taliban years that began in the mid 1990s. Nasr appreciates the perspective Ghani brought to his project. But the most memorable moments concern the filmmakers and Yarmal, who had to make life-or-death decisions about how to survive in the midst of civil war. Latif, for instance, fled to Tajikistan in 1992 on the advice of Mujahadeen rebel leader Ahmad Shah Massoud. Latif thought he would be gone for just six months, but he ended up in exile in Moscow for many years after the Taliban seized control. The actor Yarmal went back to her hometown of Mazar-i-Sharif where she lived under a false name during the Taliban era. And Barmak, as the former head of Afghan Film, bought a generator to protect old films as rockets were raining down on Kabul. His mother fainted when the Taliban visited his home; later, he returned to the northeastern province of Panjshir, where he was born. The archives themselves were also monumentally important for Nasr to be able to share the filmmakers’ personal stories. “I wanted the archives to be used in a number of ways,” Nasr says. “Okay, here are the films. The second level is here is the history of Afghanistan through the films. “The third level is here’s how we can talk about their lives metaphorically through their own work.” g The Forbidden Reel will be streamed online through Vancity Theatre beginning on December 11.

ARTS

Playwright says East Van Panto not just for kids by Steve Newton

It sucks that we can’t have people to the York. – playwright Mark Chavez

The 2020 pandemic version of East Van Panto, Panto Come Home!, will be livestreamed and consist of the best songs from previous productions with a new story. Photo by Emily Cooper.

hen Mark Chavez was a kid growing up in Albuquerque, New Mexico, he liked to write. He was always creating stories, and along with his brothers and sister, he would put on plays for the family. He also read a lot and was particularly taken by Norton Juster’s 1961 children’s fantasy-adventure novel, The Phantom Tollbooth. As he explains to the Straight from his home near the PNE, that book made him realize that he could create “whole worlds” through writing. “That was a bit of a clicking moment for me,” he recalls. A few decades later and that youthful realization has led to a multifaceted career for Chavez as a Vancouver-based comedian, actor, screenwriter, and playwright. The 43-year-old’s most recent project, Panto Come Home!, shows that he can still create whole worlds, even if these pandemic times require that they fit onto computer screens. “It sucks that we can’t have people to the York,” Chavez blurts, referring to the

Commercial Drive theatre from which the family-oriented musical comedy will be livestreamed. “But saying that, it does offer a bunch of hurdles that are creative boxes to get out of. We have this great film team that has come on; we have a four-camera stream where we’re able to perform in and around the whole theatre. We’re able to choose where the audience is looking—the major difference between film and theatre—[and] we get to pick what they have to look at, so we don’t have to be scrambling around behind the scenes to do what we need to do. So it’s offering us a bunch of opportunities to be creative, and as artists and theatre makers, that’s a boon. We can lean into that. “The live-theatre experience won’t be the same until we have people back with us,” he adds, “but I think this is a good stopgap. We can give them an entertaining show and feel a bit of connection until we can do it live again.” Panto Come Home! is the third pantomime Chavez has written for Theatre Replacement artistic directors James Long and Maiko Yamamoto, who last year won

a huge national theatre award called the Siminovitch Prize. “They’re a humble duo that are a huge deal,” Chavez raves, “and you would never know by talking to them. They’re just both feet on the ground, doing their thing. They’re doing this fun show, and they make their avant-garde work, and they support the young artists that are coming up. They’re about community as much as they are about making cool, interesting work.” Chavez’s previous assignments for Long and Yamamoto involved writing the East Van Panto shows Red Riding Hood in 2016 and Snow White & the Seven Dwarves in 2017. “When they first came to me, they said: ‘We want you to write this and do whatever you want,’ ” he says. “And Veda Hille, who does all the music, is a major part of the creative process. So she wants to do certain songs; I want to do a certain fairy tale. We meet; we talk about it. I give her the script; she writes some songs, and I take what she’s done. It’s a great little process.” Chavez approached the creation of Panto Come Home! a little differently, as it isn’t based on a particular fairy tale but is a “best of” production, using the most popular tunes from previous shows. “They needed someone to tie these songs together and kinda create a little sketch show out of it’,” he explains. “But it turned out being much bigger than any of us had planned, because I wanted it to still have a story, and I wanted it to still be a panto. And Veda wound up writing new music, even though she was supposed to just do old hits. So it’s turned into its own little show.” The basic plot sees directors Long and Yamamoto sneaking into the York Theatre, finding an unhappy Hille there at her piano, and attempting to cheer her up by calling some old friends to sing and dance previous East Van Panto hits. Then they have an uninvited visitor called the Phanto of the Panto, who kind of “scrambles everything around”. “He wants to be the star,” Chavez posits, “and he bullies them into making a show that he wants to do. And then through

them we find out that, you know, he’s... Well, I don’t want to give it away. It’s just how do they deal with this kind of villain in their midst while they’re trying to create a panto?” Although the East Van pantos have always been designed as fun family entertainment, Chavez believes that their attraction extends far beyond the kiddie crowd. “I do some kids programming aside from the panto,” he points out, “and everything I do, I write to entertain anyone. I kinda do it to entertain myself, or to entertain my peers. Children, I think, latch on to that, so the only thing you kinda have to do is to just make sure you’re not being crass—and that’s a good comedy rule anyway. So we’re not necessarily shooting for a particular age group. I think anyone can enjoy it.” g Panto Come Home! will be streamed live from the York Theatre December 17 to 27, with tickets available at thecultch.com. Mark Chavez also performs in the online improv show The Sunday Service, which is streamed every Sunday night at 9 p.m. on YouTube.

DECEMBER 10 – 17 / 2020

THE GEORGIA STR AIGHT

SAVAGE LOVE

Casserole secret ingredient grounds for divorce by Dan Savage

b SOMETHING IS BOTHERING me and I don’t know where else to turn. I’m a bisexual man. I’ve been married to a great guy for the past six years. Despite COVID, we gathered safely for an outdoors Thanksgiving dinner with my family. My mom, my brother and sister-in-law, and my adult nieces and nephews and their partners were there. Each household contributed to the feast, and we had a wonderful evening. While my husband and I were snuggling in bed later, he said that my casserole was a big hit thanks to the “secret ingredient”. When I asked what he meant, he informed me that he had deposited my come from a blowjob he’d given me earlier that day in my

Scan to conffess

half-finished casserole. When I asked why he did this, he said he thought it was hot and he was aroused watching my family ingest it. To me, this seems a bit twisted and feels like a deeply disrespectful act toward my family. Now I cannot sleep and it is impossible for me to think of anything else. I wish he had never told me. I am writing to you as I don’t know where else to turn. - Confused And Shuddering Sleeplessly, Entirely Revolted Over Loaded Entrée

suspect are fake; some letters you know are fake; and some letters you hope are fake. I wish I could say this letter fell into the second category. As much as I

Some letters you

The Georgia Straight Confessions, an outlet for submitting revelations about your private lives—or for the voyeurs among us who want to read what other people have disclosed.

Looking back Living my life as if I’d have no regrets, has left me with a ton of regrets.

its bad pornography makes one see others as pieces of meat to be used for ones pleasure and not as whole person. i’ve sought it to dull my loneliness for decades but it is black hole.

Done with Facebook I have other social media but I’ve deleted my Facebook. I think it’s going to be one of my better decisions I’ve made.

Unpopular Opinion I cannot stand Beyoncé’s voice. If I click on something that has her song on it I have to click away and I get a feeling of disgust that rushes through me.

love of your life! The woman i love is like me, unique. She cannot be replaced or forgotten, she is one of a kind. My life is colored by the love we share. This being said i have not spoken to or seen her in years. Love never solved problems or pacified our lives. It started a fire that rages within us. For me i learned to break out the marsh mellows and appreciate the heat and to love the light instead of feeling burned. Build bonfires and send smoke signals!

Visit 14

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to post a Confession DECEMBER 10 – 17 / 2020

wished we lived in a world where something like this could never happen, CASSEROLE, we, sadly, don’t live in that world. That said, some details don’t add up. I’ve been on the receiving end of plenty of blowjobs in my time, CASSEROLE, and there are tells when a guy doesn’t swallow. A man who’s holding your load in his mouth has a certain look; his mouth and jaw are set in a particular and revealing way. There’s also no post-blowjob kissing or snuggling. And yet you would have us believe that your husband somehow gave you a blowjob and somehow didn’t swallow your load without you noticing and then… what? He strolled around the house with a mouth full of come until the opportunity to defile your casserole presented itself? Then again, impromptu blowjobs sometimes happen, CASSEROLE, and they sometimes happen in kitchens. So I suppose it’s possible your husband interrupted you while you were making a casserole and then quickly leaned over and spat your load into your casserole and managed to give it quick stir without you noticing the spit or the stir? Sounds improbable, but I suppose your husband could have created a diversion that took your attention off him and that mouthful of come and your casserole long enough to execute the spit-and-stir manoeuvre undetected. Perhaps he pointed at something outside the window or tossed a flash-bang grenade into the dining room. But even if he did all of this—blew you, didn’t swallow, created a diversion, spat your semen into a casserole you planned to share with your entire family—would he tell you about it? That your husband would be so clueless as to think you wouldn’t be revolted and upset by this is, if you’ll forgive me, a little hard to swallow. Still, your nieces and nephews are adults, so it’s possible you and your husband are getting up there in years and he could be suffering from early onset dementia; inappropriate sexual behavior and poor impulse control can be early symptoms. So on the off, off, off chance this actually happened, CASSEROLE, here’s my advice: if your husband spat your load into a halffinished casserole and then watched your whole family consume it and then assumed you would think it was hot, CASSEROLE, then you absolutely, positively need to divorce him. Let us count the ways you can’t trust this man: you can’t trust him with your semen; you can’t trust him not to feed your come to your mother; you can’t trust him around your siblings and nieces and nephews. You can’t even leave him in the company of an unaccompanied casserole. So unless you looked into his eyes on your wedding day and thought, “This is a guy who would feed a woman her own son’s semen,

A kitchen confession has revolted a husband. Photo by Micheile Henderson/Unsplash.

and I’m fine with that,” your husband isn’t the “great guy” you thought he was. He’s a monster, and what he did is unforgivable, even criminal. Divorce the asserole. You might want to consider calling the cops and pressing charges for sexual assault—here’s hoping you saved some of the casserole for DNA testing—but you’ll have to weigh involving the police against burdening your mother with the knowledge of your Thanksgiving casserole’s secret ingredient. P.S. A casserole is really more of a side dish at Thanksgiving, isn’t it? b FORGIVE MY ENGLISH. I write from Italy. I’m a quarter of a century old and I have been with my girlfriend for seven years. I can’t tell you how long the “sex high” lasted—the time when she wanted to have sex as often as possible—but it was maybe three years. Now if she’s stressed, if we are not in a bed, if she hasn’t just shaved her legs, if she’s just woke up, if she’s nervous for any reason at all, she doesn’t want to have sex. I’m not one of those men who thinks exclusively about his own pleasure. I have asked her if she has any fantasies. She does not. I have asked her if I should be doing anything different. She says not. She doesn’t masturbate; she doesn’t watch porn. I purchased a sex toy for us. She will not touch it. And when I try to talk to her, she says that her sexuality is none of my business. I am miserable. I don’t know what to do. She says I am “ fixated on sex” and see next page

- Who Has Yearnings

Forgive my bluntness:

Either your girlfriend never liked sex all that much or, after seven

Employment EMPLOYMENT Careers Construction company Velgor Construction Inc. is hiring Painters.Greater Vancouver, BC. Perm, F/T (40 hrs/week) Salary - $ 25.00 /hour Requirements: high school, experience 2-3 years, good English. Main duties: Determine and calculate the amount of painting materials and time required; Smooth, repair and clean surfaces to be painted; Match, mix and thin paints; Apply paint, wallpaper or other materials to various surfaces; Cover surfaces with cloth or plastic; Use brushes, rollers or spray equipment; Assemble and erect scaffolding and swing stages. Company’s business address: #102-2131 Hartley Ave, Coquitlam, BC V3K 6X3 Please apply by e-mail: velgorconstruction@gmail.com

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years, she’s no longer excited by sex with you. If she were willing to talk about it, WHY, you might be able to do something about it; you might be able to revive your sex life by trying new things together, experimenting with toys, having adventures. But she’s made it clear she’s not interested in discussing things, much less doing things. And while she doesn’t think her sexuality is any of your business, she clearly sees your sexuality as her business, e.g., until recently she thought

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604.568.5255 3-3003 KINGSWAY @ RUPERT

Katrina 604-544-0900

Blue Ocean WELLNESS SPA

Chinese Meridian Massage Relaxation Massage Body Scrubbing GRAND OPENING! Reﬂexology Cupping Pedicure • Manicure Facial Waxing Eyebrow Tinting Eyelash Tinting #201 – 1789 Davie St. | 604-423-5828

30 min / $30

3671 EAST HASTINGS

604-568-0123

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10am m 5281 VICTORIA DR. - 10pm EAST VANCOUVER

604.436.3131 www.greatpharaoh.com

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604.998.4885

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5-3490 Kingsway, Van. NEWLY RENOVATED! ESTABLISHED 1993 HIRING: 778.893.4439

DREAM & CITY Massage

SAME GREAT SERVICE in COMPLETELY RENOVATED

Apartment For Rent - West End $900 move in allowance.

you were cheating on her when you jerked off—which is kind of nuts. There’s nothing wrong with ending a sexually exclusive relationship when the sex doesn’t work and your partner couldn’t care less that you’re unhappy and only grudgingly allows you to masturbate. As much as you love her, it’s not working and it’s only going to get worse. You’re at once every two weeks now and will soon be down to once a month, then once every three months, then once a

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that there is more to life than that. I jerk off a lot, of course, which she only just started to accept. At first she considered it equivalent to cheating. Is it wrong to end a relationship of seven years because of a matter of different views on sex? I love her so much and leaving would be hard. Please help me.

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