The Georgia Straight - Holiday Dining - Dec 15, 2016 by The Georgia Straight

2 THE GEORGIA STRAIGHT DECEMBER 15 â&#x20AC;&#x201C; 22 / 2016

We painstakingly brew our award winning amber lager at the expense of ads like this one. f ads ne. We hope you enjoy our refreshingly honest 100th Meridian Organic Amber Lager. A gold medal winner at the Canadian Brewing Awards that tastes better than any print ad ever could.

Great Beer Lives Here.

DECEMBER 15 â&#x20AC;&#x201C; 22 / 2016 THE GEORGIA STRAIGHT 3

Save even more on our everyday low prices!

NoonGST, No PST Jewellery and Loose Diamonds in December* * Excludes watches and items in the already-discounted special Estate Jewellery promotion in the Metrotown store.

Estate appraisers and buyers. Knowledgeable and certified gemmologists and appraisers. We are always buying jewellery, quality gemstones, high-end watches, coins, gold and silver bullion, and modern and old banknotes. Show us what you have for a free, no-obligation verbal offer.

Save money every day only at J&M! Shop online for more jewellery and watches at iorio.com or jandm.com. Contact us at jandm@jandm.com.

J&M Coin & Jewellery Ltd. Since 1967

127 E. Broadway, Vancouver, BC V5T 1W1 604-876-7181 348 - 4800 Kingsway, Burnaby, BC V5H 4J2 604-439-0753 FREE PARKING underneath our Vancouver store, entrance off 8th Avenue

4 THE GEORGIA STRAIGHT DECEMBER 15 â&#x20AC;&#x201C; 22 / 2016

Holiday Heights at Bloedel DEC 9, 2016-JAN 2, 2017 4PM TO 9PM

Experience a winter wonderland inside the Bloedel Conservatory with magical lights, festive music, a holiday scavenger hunt and much more. This year’s event will take you to new heights with Vancouver’s only holiday ferris wheel! Visit Vancouver’s newest and most affordable family event at the peak of Vancouver.

Ferris wheel ride, holiday activities and parking all included with regular Bloedel admission. vancouver.ca/holidayheights #holidayheights

Canadian Publications Mail Agreement #40009178, return undeliverable Canadian addresses to The Georgia Straight, 1635 West Broadway, Vancouver, B.C. V6J 1W9

DECEMBER 15 – 22 / 2016 THE GEORGIA STRAIGHT 5

nDuse Va n

f w l o a n k s e s... e k i l t s u J Yoga Experiences are unique! ing

BONUS

Ska

ng i m

ce Cla an

Swim

G a rd e n

Offer available Dec 1 to 31

6 THE GEORGIA STRAIGHT DECEMBER 15 â&#x20AC;&#x201C; 22 / 2016

Give the Gift of Experience this year!

G Y$ A N 50 S O PENT

#pbexperiences vancouver.ca

THE BEST GIFT EVER

UNDER THE WHITE BIG TOP at Olympic Village • cavalia.net

DECEMBER 15 – 22 / 2016 THE GEORGIA STRAIGHT 7

FROM LOCAL DELIGHTS TO GOURMET GIFT BASKETS, GIVE THE GIFT OF GOOD TASTE THIS YEAR FROM URBAN FARE.

8 THE GEORGIA STRAIGHT DECEMBER 15 â&#x20AC;&#x201C; 22 / 2016

CONTENTS pacific centre for reproductive medicine

pacificfer tility.ca

Doctors: Caitlin Dunne Jon Havelock Jeffrey Roberts Ken Seethram Tim Rowe Victor Chow Ken Poon

Insite at 139 East Hastings Street. Travis Lupick photo.

HEALTH

Five years into an overdose crisis fuelled by fentanyl, residents of the Downtown Eastside rallied to take care of one another as senior levels of governments stood on the sidelines. > BY TR AVIS LUPICK

IVF and Infertility

Reproductive Genetics

URBAN LIVING

Fertility Preservation

Interior designer Kendall Ansell looks to clear glass vessels, antique glass ornaments, and natural elements for seasonal style that lasts. > BY JANE T SMITH

refer yourself today | referrals@pacificfertility.ca 604.422.7276

BOOKS

A distinguished group of local lit-scene members pick their favourite titles of 2016, and some of our own regular booksection contributors follow suit.

COVER

With Christmas turkey looming, prominent Vancouver chefs suggest ways to transform the same old mashed potatoes and stuffing. > BY GAIL JOHNSON

ARTS

Two soloists talk about the intricacies of singing Johann Sebastian Bach as Early Music Vancouver prepares to stage his Magnificat. > BY TONY MONTAGUE

START HERE 27 47 47 43 47 44 22 30

The Bottle Confessions I Saw You Real Estate Savage Love Straight Stars Style Theatre

TIME OUT 33 Arts 41 Music

SERVICES

MOVIES

Endless Poetry proves to be an apt title; a straight narrative would improve Jackie; A Man Called Ove is only so-so Scando fare; pantsuited Miss Sloane feels out of touch.

44 Careers 12 Healthy Living 43 Real Estate

Find A Relationship Youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll Love Executive Search Dating <RXÂ¶UH UHDG\ WR PHHW VRPHRQH VSHFLDO EXW Â¿QGLQJ \RXU perfect match isnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t always easy. Fortunately, thereâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Executive Search Dating â&#x20AC;&#x201C; Vancouverâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s #1 personalized PDWFKPDNLQJ VHUYLFH 2XU 5HODWLRQVKLS ([SHUWV JHW WR NQRZ WKH UHDO \RX WKHQ Â¿QG FRPSDWLEOH VLQJOHV ZKR \RXÂ¶OO ORYH PHHWLQJ ,WÂ¶V GDWLQJ PDGH HDV\ )LQG WKH UHODWLRQVKLS \RXÂ¶YH EHHQ ZDLWLQJ IRU WRGD\ Executive Search Dating: <RXU 5HODWLRQVKLS Guaranteed.

MUSIC

From Kylie Minogue to Neil Diamond, and from R. Kelly to Rascal Flatts and Sarah McLachlan, itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s the time of year when we review Xmas records so you donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t have to.

Ask Our o Ab ut as m Christ l! Specia

CLASSIFIEDS

COVER PHOTO TRACEY KUSIEWICZ

GeorgiaStraight @GeorgiaStraight

#1 Matchmaking Service

Call Today!

@GeorgiaStraight

DECEMBER 15 â&#x20AC;&#x201C; 22 / 2016 THE GEORGIA STRAIGHT 9

MAJESTIC’S BOXING WEEK SALE! 15%-80% OFF STORE WIDE! Apartment Size Sofas

$999 reg. $1369

Assorted Dining Chairs & Counter Stools

Only! $59

$349 $349

Designer King & Queen Bed frames

ONLY! $349 *while quantities last

Since

1986

All Mattresses Including: •Organic Latex •Memory Foam •Bio Foam •Futons •Locally Made

Maple Sofa

Flip Flops Your Emergency Sleep Over Solution! From $95

$349

Space Saving • Futons • Frames • Covers

MAJESTIC SIT & SLEEP w w w.ma j e s t ic s it a nd s l e e p.c o m

1828 West 4th Avenue, Vancouver • 604-731-8226 Vancouver ’s Source for Cer t if ied Organic Latex

10 THE GEORGIA STRAIGHT DECEMBER 15 – 22 / 2016

E EINGK F RR KBAC PA IN

HEALTH

BEST REAL ESTATE AGENT WINNER 2010-2016 “Let’s Have an Eggnog and Talk Real Estate”

www.toffoli.ca 604.787.6963 email: paul@toffoli.ca Master Medallion

Retired nurse Sue Ouelette volunteers at an unsanctioned Downtown Eastside injection site. Amanda Siebert photo.

DTES takes care of its own > B Y TR AVIS LUPI CK

“I

t was the last Wednesday of August,” Janet Charlie begins in an interview at a street market in the Downtown Eastside. She was working at a concession stand there at 62 East Hastings when her son Tyler came by. “He was walking through the market,” she tells the Georgia Straight. “He’d seen me working. But he knew I had an issue with his girlfriend, so he would never talk to me when she was around. “He just looked at me and he walked out,” recounts the grandmother of four. “That was the last time I saw him alive.” Tyler spent the next three hours hanging out with friends on the corner of Main and East Hastings, just one block from where his mother continued her shift. “Selling cigarettes and whatever, and they drink there,” she says. Shortly after noon, a girl sprinted into the market and ran right up to Charlie. “They said, ‘Your son went down,’ ” Charlie says calmly. “ ‘It doesn’t look good. It doesn’t look like he’s going to make it.’ “And I said, ‘You know what? Don’t say that, because you’re not God.’ ” Together, they ran up Hastings to the corner of Main, where Charlie found her son with paramedics

bent over him, pumping oxygen into his lungs. She spent the next seven days with Tyler unconscious at Vancouver General Hospital. “We thought he was going to be okay, because they had a little bit of wave in his brain,” Charlie continues. “But the next day, there was nothing. So on the seventh day, we had to take him off the machines that was keeping him alive. “His birthday would have been on December 11,” Charlie says. “He would be 27 if he was still here. He left behind an ex-wife and two kids.” By August 2016, the fentanyl crisis had already killed hundreds of people in Metro Vancouver—almost 1,800 between the point at which a spike in statistics became observable in 2011 and the end of October 2016. And yet even though a public-health emergency was declared last April, no level of government took significant action to stop the tide of fatal overdoses. For the Downtown Eastside, Tyler’s death was one too many. Five years into an epidemic, and still with little help from authorities forthcoming, the neighbourhood mobilized to take care of itself. THE ALLEY BEHIND the market where Charlie works is always busy with drug users. There, late one evening, Ann Livingston tells the Straight she’s seen all of this before.

Back in the 1990s, when the Downtown Eastside was breaking under the AIDS epidemic and the arrival of intravenous cocaine, Livingston cofounded the Vancouver Area Network of Drug Users (VANDU) and, in 1994, opened the city’s first unsanctioned injection site, on Powell Street. As bad as things were back then, during those years when the Downtown Eastside became synonymous with poverty and addiction, Livingston maintains there is no doubt the situation is worse today. She says that through the summer of 2016, she racked her brain for new ideas about how activists could help, and she reveals that a state of depression began to weigh her down. “Then, when Janet’s son died, it really profoundly affected everyone in the market,” Livingston continues. “It was so dramatic: in slow motion, someone runs down the street and tells her, she runs back up the street, he doesn’t recover. And then for days, he’s in the hospital, on life support as each of his organs breaks down…” She trails off. Over the years, Livingston has guided a number of prominent activists to groundbreaking work in the Downtown Eastside. In the late 1990s, she partnered with the community’s unofficial poet laureate, Bud Osborn, to transform how the city responds to people who struggle

All you need. Rain? Mud? Dress up? Dress down? Blundstone boots take it all in stride. Try all-season, all-terrain, all-world Blundstone boots. Laces? Who needs ’em?

#510 The Original in Black. $199.95

Australian Boot Company 1968 West 4th Ave.,Vancouver 604-738-2668 Mail order or free catalogue call 1-877-842-1126 Free shipping at australianboot.com

HEAR LIKE NEVER BEFORE

see next page

The Georgia Straight | Vancouver’s News and Entertainment Weekly | Volume 50 Number 2555 1635 West Broadway, Vancouver, B.C. V6J 1W9 www.straight.com Phone: 604-730-7000 / Fax: 604-730-7010 / e-mail: gs.info@straight.com Display Advertising: 604-730-7020 / Fax: 604-730-7012 / e-mail: sales@straight.com Classifieds: 604-730-7060 / e-mail: classads@straight.com Subscriptions: 604-730-7000 Distribution: 604-730-7087 EDITOR + PUBLISHER Dan McLeod ASSOCIATE PUBLISHER Yolanda Stepien GENERAL MANAGER Matt McLeod EDITOR Charlie Smith SECTION EDITORS

Janet Smith (Arts/Fashion) Mike Usinger (Music) Steve Newton (Time Out) Adrian Mack (Movies) Brian Lynch (Books) EDITORIAL ADMINISTRATOR Doug Sarti ASSOCIATE EDITORS

Gail Johnson, John Lucas, Alexander Varty STAFF WRITERS

Tammy Kwan, Lucy Lau, Travis Lupick, Carlito Pablo, Amanda Siebert, Craig Takeuchi, Kate Wilson SENIOR EDITOR Martin Dunphy EDITORIAL ASSISTANT Jennie Ramstad PROOFREADER Pat Ryffranck CONTRIBUTING WRITERS

Gregory Adams, Nathan Caddell, David Chau, Jack Christie, Jennifer Croll, Ken Eisner (Movies), George Fetherling, Tara Henley, Michael Hingston, Ng Weng Hoong, Alex Hudson, Kurtis Kolt,

Robin Laurence (Visual Arts), Mark Leiren-Young, John Lekich, Amy Lu, Bob Mackin, Michael Mann, Rose Marcus, Beth McArthur, Verne McDonald, Allan MacInnis, Guy MacPherson, Tony Montague, Kathleen Oliver, Ben Parfitt, Vivian Pencz, Bill Richardson, Gurpreet Singh, Jacqueline Turner, Andrea Warner, Jessica Werb, Stephen Wong, Alan Woo ART DEPARTMENT MANAGER

Janet McDonald SENIOR DESIGNER David Ko CONTRIBUTING ARTISTS

Alfonso Arnold, Rebecca Blissett, Trevor Brady, Louise Christie, Emily Cooper, Randall Cosco, Krystian Guevara, Evaan Kheraj, Kris Krug, Tracey Kusiewicz, Kevin Langdale, Shayne Letain, Matt Mignanelli, Mark “Atomos” Pilon, Carlo Ricci, William Ting, Alex Waterhouse-Hayward DIGITAL PRODUCT MANAGER

Chet Woodside LEAD WEB DEVELOPER Jeffrey Li WEB DEVELOPER Tina Luu WEB ADMINISTRATOR Miles Keir

PRODUCTION SUPERVISOR Mike Correia PRODUCTION

K.T. Dean, Sandra Oswald

FANTASTIC PRICING to allow everyone to hear better in a variety of listening environments.

AD SERVICES ASSOCIATE

Opn 3 An improved listening experience with basic reduction of background noise while preserving speech.

Jon Cranny, Lyndsey Krezanoski

DIRECTOR OF ARTS, ADVERTISING & MARKETING

Laura Moore SALES MANAGER Sharon Smith (On Leave) ADVERTISING REPRESENTATIVES

Steve Barmash, Glenn Cohen, Lauren Ellis, Robyn Marsh, David Pearlman, Patrick Ruel, Kathy Skelton

PROMOTIONS + SPECIAL PROJECTS

Navdeep Chhina

ADVERTISING + PROMOTION ASSISTANT

Maya Beckersmith

DIGITAL SALES COORDINATOR

Brenna Woodhouse CIRCULATION MANAGER

Dexter Vosper

INFORMATION TECHNOLOGY DIRECTOR

Dennis Jangula

STARTING AT ONLY

Opn 2 An easier listening experience with moderate reduction of background noise while preserving speech.

Limited Time only Until Dec 22

Opn 1 The easiest listening experience with maximum reduction of background noise while preserving speech.

1,500

CREDIT MANAGER Shannon Li ACCOUNTING SUPERVISOR

Tamara Robinson

ACCOUNTING

Angela Krommidas

Call NOW for this LIMITED TIME OFFER!

RECEPTION/PROMOTIONS ASSISTANT

Teagan Dobson

The Georgia Straight is published every Thursday by the Vancouver Free Press Publishing SUBMISSIONS The Straight accepts no responsibility for, and will not Corp. Copies are distributed free every week throughout Vancouver, Burnaby, North necessarily respond to, any submitted materials. All submissions should be and West Vancouver, New Westminster, and Richmond. International Standard Serial addressed to contact@straight.com. Number ISSN 0709-8995. Subscription rates in Canada $182.00/52 issues (includes GST), $92.00/26 issues (includes GST); United States $379.00/52 issues, $205.00/ 26 issues; foreign $715.00/52 issues, $365.00/26 issues. Contact 604-730-7087 if you wish to distribute free copies of the Georgia Straight at your place of business. Entire contents copyright © 2016 Vancouver Free Press, Best Of Vancouver, BOV And Golden Plates Are Trade-Marks Of Vancouver Free Press Publishing Corp.

Vancouver - Commercial Dr.

604-681-1652 2740 Commercial Dr.

Vancouver - Hastings

604-215-3345 2484 E. Hastings St.

www.precisionhearing.co

DECEMBER 15 – 22 / 2016 THE GEORGIA STRAIGHT 11

DTES takes care

from previous page

A M IN AS GHI ERATI DRA BL I! W DEC

ON 23!

NOW - DECEMBER 30

DRAWS EVERY FRIDAY 9PM & SUNDAY 6PM

MASERATI CHASE

FOR INSTANT NSTANT CASH AND THE CHANCE TO WIN THE T PROGRES PROGRESSIVE JACKPOT JAC T

GRAND PRIZE MASERATI GHIBLI DRAW DECEMBER 23

MASERATI CHASE | DECEMBER 30 CAR AWARDED AW MAY NOT BE EXACTLY AS SHOWN. NO MASERATI CHASE DRAW DECEMBER R 23 & 25. RULES APPLY. VISIT GUEST SERICES FOR DETAILS.

Vancouver’s Only Downtown Casino

760 Pacific Blvd. South Vancouver, BC V6B 5E7

Across from BC Place P 604.687.3343

EDGEWATERCASINO.CA

with addictions. Through the 2000s, she helped Dean Wilson, a plaintiff in the legal battle for Vancouver’s sanctioned injection facility, Insite, achieve a victory for that facility in the Supreme Court of Canada. Since fentanyl arrived on Vancouver streets, Livingston is often found with Sarah Blyth, a former park-board commissioner who has taken a lead role in the Downtown Eastside’s grassroots response to the overdose epidemic. “When Janet’s son died, it was a turning point,” Blyth tells the Straight at the market. “A lot of us went to the memorial and we were really touched by one of our workers at the market losing her son. “It actually made the workers and everybody come together and say, ‘We need to do something about this,’ ” she recounts. “ ‘We cannot sit around and have this happen on our watch. We can do something about this and we don’t have to wait for red tape or the government and bureaucracy. We’re just going to do it.’ We knew that no one could stop us, because we were doing the right thing.” On the afternoon of September 21, Blyth, Livingston, and a third Downtown Eastside activist who also works at the market, Chris Ewart, pitched a tent facing into an alley that runs just south of East Hastings Street. Inside, they set up a semicircle of tables and chairs. On the right-hand side, they placed a jug—from which people could take water to cook their drugs and clean needles—and, crucially, a supply of naloxone, the so-called overdose antidote that is used to reverse the effects of opioids like heroin and fentanyl. “People were overdosing in the back alley and they would call to us for help,” Blyth says. “So here we witness them and talk to them about different things and just create an atmosphere that is safe and clean that is not the alley and not their houses, where they would risk using alone. We’re saying it’s better to come and hang out with us here.” THROUGH OCTOBER AND Novem-

ber, overdoses occurred at the tent and throughout the Downtown Eastside with increasing frequency. In response, the group pitched a second tent in an alley one block east of the first one, around the corner from the intersection of Main and Hastings. “We went from seeing one overdose a day to seeing several overdoses a day to seeing seven overdoses in one day,” Blyth says. “Back to back to back. Just like absolute chaos.” Two-and-a-half months after the first tent was pitched, Blyth estimates her teams have used naloxone to reverse more than 200 overdoses. She notes they stopped counting several weeks ago and that overdoses have continued to occur every day since then. Despite more than 100 people a day visiting the tents to inject drugs, nobody has died at either location. Livingston describes it as a miracle. “Two weeks ago, it was an overdose a day or every second day back

here,” she says. “Then suddenly it was three every day. It’s doubled. You think, ‘It’s so high, it’s not going to get worse.’ Well, it did. Next, it tripled.” That was November 25. Four days later, the B.C. Coroners Service confirmed that a synthetic opioid called carfentanil had been detected near the body of a man who had died in East Vancouver two weeks earlier. A news release warned that the drug is significantly more dangerous than fentanyl, describing it as “the most toxic opioid used commercially”. On December 6, in response to an inquiry made by the Straight, the B.C. Coroners Service acknowledged that the city’s morgues are often full, forcing health authorities to store bodies at funeral homes. And yet Blyth’s tents continue to operate outside the law, without government funding or support of any kind. Over the course of more than a dozen visits a reporter makes to the tents, it becomes apparent that everybody who works there has a story like the one Blyth and Livingston tell about Tyler. A moment in time when they realized they could no longer do nothing. At the first of the two tents, the volunteer who seems to spend more time there than any other is Lee Tran. At the end of a 10-hour shift on November 23, a Wednesday when welfare cheques are issued, he sheds some light on what drives the group staffing the tents. “Previously in my life, once, I was a drug addict,” he says. “So I feel what these guys are going through. I know what they need. And I heard about this work, so I felt like this was something I wanted to do.” ACROSS THE STREET, down one block and up eight flights of stairs, Jay Slaunwhite sits in the cramped room he lives in on the top floor of the Balmoral Hotel. “Narcan here,” reads a sign on the door. “Knock if someone is O.D.ing. Anytime!” Interviewed there, Slaunwhite recounts how he came to function as the rundown hotel’s de facto paramedic. “The first time, someone actually asked me to inject them,” he says. “They knocked on the door, and I did. She only did half of what she had. But still she went under. So she was in my bed, not breathing. So CPR and naloxone, screaming for someone to call an ambulance. And they came, and that was that.” It was after that experience that he put the sign up on his door. Since then, Slaunwhite says, he’s used naloxone on another six people to save their lives. But more than those six people have come running for help. He says that several times, someone whose friend had stopped breathing knocked on his door when he was all out of naloxone. “I don’t have a lot,” Slaunwhite explains. “And more people have come when I didn’t have it than came when I did have it.” Asked what happened to those people, he replies quietly: “I don’t know.”

604.730.7060

HEALTHY LIVING

CLASSADS@STRAIGHT.COM

RETREATS

CERTIFIED MASSAGE

Is it time for Hawaii? MauiVegetarianRetreat.com

Facial Rejuvenation & Weight Loss Treatment Black Jade Power Bath. Jade & Crystal Treatment. Acupuncture, acupressure, RMT Ins acc. Couple Special $68/120min 778-893-3422

AESTHETICS $28 massage + Free Gift 6 0 4 - 7 0 9 - 6 1 6 8W

SPAS

SPA PACKAGE $155/120 MIN

BY APPT.

TURKISH HAMMAN (steam) GOMMAGE (Body Exfoliation) THICK LAYER OF BUBBLES CLEANSING DEEP TISSUE MASSAGE

208 - 2800 E. 1ST AVE, VAN.

778.379.7722

WWW.FEET-FUN.COM

see next page

Leelawadee Thai Spa 889

Helmcken St. 778.886.3675 www.leelawadeethaispa.com

Thai Massage

778-886-3675 D/T.

SUPPORT GROUPS PFLAG Vancouver Parents, Families & Friends of Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgendered and Questioning People Call for meetings or individual info: 604-626-5667 or info@pflagvancouver.com www.pflagvancouver.com AFTER SUICIDE SUPPORT GROUP Meetings every other Wednesday 7pm Call Sylvia Cust, RCC, Counsellor at CHIMO Crisis Service in Richmond 604-279-7077 Richmond Caring Place, 7000 Minoru

GEORGIA STRAIGHT STRAIGHT DECEMBER DECEMBER15 15––22 22//2016 2016 12 THE GEORGIA

411 Seniors Centre Society

704 – 333 Terminal Ave. Van 604 684 8171 An inclusive centre for older adults, 55+ on low income, and those with disabilities, offering year-round educational, health-related, recreational activities. Information & Referral to assist seniors with resources & services in the community ie seniors benefits, income tax preparation & government services. Hours: Monday to Friday, 9:00am to 4:00pm

Genital Herpes Support Group for Women Are you living with Genital Herpes in Vancouver? We are a group of women that draws upon each others knowledge and strength to grapple with this sometimes trying condition. Through mutual support and honest conversation we aim to address the physical and emotional health implications of this virus and how it affects romantic relationships, sex, dating & life in general. Contact: ghsupportgroup@gmail.com

AL-ANON FAMILY GROUPS Does someone else's drinking bother you? Al-Anon can help. We are a support group for those who have been affected by another's drinking problem. For more information please call: 604-688-1716

Are you in pain and struggling to cope? Join our free bi-monthly group to learn invaluable pain management skills and discover the power of mutual support. See website for meeting details

Battered Women's Support Services provides free daytime & evening support groups (Drop-ins & 10 week groups) for women abused by their intimate partner. Groups provide emotional support, legal information & advocacy, safety planning, and referrals. For more information please call: 604-687-1867

Anorexics & Bulimics Anonymous 12 Step based peer support program which addresses the mental, emotional, & spiritual aspects of disordered eating Tuesdays @ 7 pm @ Avalon Women's Centre 5957 West Blvd - 604-263-7177

Suffering from Chronic Pain?

vanchronicpain@gmail.com

BC Balance & Dizziness provides information & support for persons with balance, dizziness & vestibular disorders. Bi Monthly info meetings @ St. Paul's Hospital. Call for info. 604-878-8383 www.BalanceAndDizziness.org

SEXAHOLICS ANONYMOUS - Vancouver, BC For those desiring their own sexual sobriety, please go to www.sa.org for meetings times and places. We are here to help you from being overwhelmed. Newcomers are gratefully welcomed.

Are you living with HERPES? Need Support? Join our Vancouver (Lower Mainland) social group and come out and meet others in the same situation. All ages. Lots of different events (pub night/brunches/ bowling/ movie night/ etc.). We also run a bimonthly support group. Join our Meetup site 'vancouverhfriends' or contact vancouverhfriends@yahoo.ca for more info

SUPPORT GROUPS We have peer-led support groups all over the Lower Mainland for people with depression, bipolar disorder and anxiety led by well-trained facilitators. Group sessions during days, evenings, or Saturdays. For location and times of groups:

MOOD DISORDERS

www.mdabc.net 604-873-0103

Anxiety? Depression? Free Mental Wellness Support Group held on Saturdays (10:30 am – 12:30) Promotes a holistic approach to healing (body, mind & spirit). Networking and interactive learning experience in a safe, non-judgmental environment. For more information call 604-630-6865 or visit www.mentalwellnessbc.ca ARTIFICIAL INSEMINATION Looking to start a parent support group in Kitsilano. Please call Barbara 604 737 8337 Distress Line & Suicide Prevention Services NEED SOME ONE TO TALK TO? Call us for immediate, free, confidential and non-judgemental support, 24 hours a day, everyday. The Crisis Centre in Vancouver can help you cope more effectively with stressful situations. 604-872-3311 Equal Parenting Group - North Vancouver Support group for fathers going through the divorce process needing help. Call 604-692-5613 Email:nspg@mybox.com Join a FREE YWCA Single Mothers support group in your local community. Share information, experiences and resources. Child care is provided for a nominal fee. For information call 604-895-5789 or Email: smacdonald@ywcavan.org IBD Support Group Suffer from Crohn's and ulcerative colitis? Living with IBD can often be overwhelming, but you're not alone! 3rd Wed of each month the GI Society holds a free IBD support group meeting for patients & their families to come together in an open, friendly environment. 7:00pm at RavenSong Community Health Centre (2450 Ontario St). or more information call 604-875-4875.

LifeRing - Sobriety your Way

Sound Different? Men & Women supporting each other in a friendly, non-judgemental environment based on abstinence, secularity & self-help Van: @ Vancouver Daytox 377 E. 2nd Sat @ 4pm Maple Ridge: @ The CEED Centre 11739 - 223 St Sundays 1:30pm www.liferingcanada.org or www.lifering.org Is your life affected by someone else's drug use? Nar-Anon Family Group Meeting Every Friday 7:30-9:00 pm at Barclay Manor, 1447 Barclay

Nar-Anon 604 878-8844

RECOVERY International FEAR? DEPRESSION? PANIC ATTACKS? Feelings that keep you from really living your life? A way out is where we come in. Weekly meetings. Call for info: 9am - 5pm Kathy 778-554-1026 www.recoverycanada.org The Compassionate Friends (TCF) Burnaby TCF is a grief support group for parents who have experienced the loss of a child, at any age. Meet the last Wednesday of the month at 7:00 p.m. For location call Grace: 778-222-0446 "We Need Not Walk Alone" compassionatecircle@hotmail.com Burnaby@TCFCanada.net www.tcfcanada.net Healthy & loving relationships alluding you? CODA: Co-dependency Anonymous 12 step Recovery: 604- 515-5585 Infertility Awareness Assoc. of Canada (IAAC) provides educational material & support to individuals or couples experiencing infertility. Meetings: 7 pm the 2nd Wed of the month. Richmond Library & Cultural Centre, 7700 Minoru Gate. Info 523-0074 or www.iaac.ca

Slaunwhite has never been in contact with anybody representing government or even one of the Downtown Eastside’s many nonprofits. He’s simply a former drug user who thought it made sense to let people know he could help. Two blocks east of the Balmoral, in an alley behind VANDU’s headquarters, a long-time member, Hugh Lampkin, emphasizes the extent to which past and present addicts— some of whom also struggle with mental-health issues—have come to play a lead role in the community’s response to the fentanyl crisis. He recalls an event held on November 15 in which VANDU partnered with Vancouver Coastal Health and the City of Vancouver to educate drug users on overdose response. “I believe we trained about 240 people that day,” Lampkin says. Since mid-November, VANDU has also dispatched foot patrols carrying naloxone through Downtown Eastside alleys. Lampkin estimates that since then, these teams, working 12 hours a day, have reversed more than 20 overdoses. Lampkin notes that it’s a “train the trainers” program, where volunteers instruct the people they meet in the alleys on how to use naloxone and respond when somebody overdoses. FIVE YEARS AFTER this epidemic

became observable in statistics, the B.C. government has yet to launch any sizable intervention. According to documents obtained through a freedom-of-information request, the provincial government has only allocated $5.77 million to address the fentanyl crisis since a public-health emergency was declared in April. The Ministry of Health has disputed that number—noting that another $5 million was pledged in November—and puts the real amount much higher. But the $5.77-million figure was supplied by the government itself. In a telephone interview with the Straight, Miranda Compton, regional director of prevention for Vancouver Coastal Health (VCH), outlines

“We are delivering multiple, multiple doses of Narcan, having to use oxygen to engage, and for periods of time that are really difficult.” Bond says the situation is the same in most of the 16 hotels that PHS is contracted to operate throughout the Downtown Eastside. “Within our housing [sites], to give an example of just how bad the problem is, we have intervened in over 1,000 overdoses in the last 12 months, just within PHS units of housing,” he says. “That is an astronomically, alarmingly high number of overdose interventions. And that is just in housing. That does not include Insite. “Everyone is overwhelmed,” he adds. “And it doesn’t seem to be getting better. It’s getting worse as we go along.” BACK AT THE MARKET at 62 East

A former drug user himself, Jay Slaunwhite keeps naloxone in his room at the Balmoral Hotel. Travis Lupick photo.

where the authority has beefed up programs since the onset of the crisis. She mentions the VANDU foot patrols that Lampkin spoke of and says VCH funds a similar program in a partnership with the Portland Hotel Society that sends bike patrols equipped with naloxone around the Downtown Eastside. Just as Lampkin notes how much of the community’s response relies on current and former drug users— “peers”, in the bureaucratic language of government—Compton emphasizes that partnering with such individuals is integral to VCH’s strategy for the Downtown Eastside. “Peers know what works,” she explains. Taking the VANDU partnership as an example, Compton says: “They were full of ideas; they know

the community. They know what will work; they know what won’t work; and they know how to do it.” But, with obvious frustration in her voice, Compton concedes that VCH has not been able to implement every program it wants. “Until we can get more sanctioned supervised-injection sites through on our exemption applications, we have to get as creative as we possibly can,” she adds. (Update: on December 8, after this story was filed, the province announced it is immediately opening two new “overdose prevention sites” in the Downtown Eastside.) MEANWHILE, INSITE WILL con-

tinue to operate at capacity (as it has for many years) and people will go on using intravenous drugs in places

where they lack that facility’s mindful care provided by nurses. Hotels like the Balmoral are privately owned. Many other low-income buildings in the Downtown Eastside are run by the province with support services contracted to nonprofits such as the Portland Hotel Society. One of those buildings is the Stanley Hotel and the adjoining New Fountain shelter, on East Cordova Street near Abbott. Interviewed there, Andy Bond, the Portland Hotel Society’s senior director of housing, and Duncan Higgon, its shelter-programs manager, speak openly about how staff are stretched to a breaking point. “Just in the last two days—in fact, in the last 36 hours—we have seen eight overdose interventions,” Higgon says.

Hastings, Janet Charlie recalls the last time her son Tyler spoke to her. “The last time I’d seen him straight was on Mother’s Day [May 8],” she says. “Mother’s Day, he popped in where I was working at the street market. Him and his brother dropped off some chocolates for me on Mother’s Day. That was the last time I’d seen him normal. Then he was back to drinking and selling whatever he was selling.” Although Tyler’s death inspired so many of Charlie’s friends to organize a community response, she admits she hasn’t been able to bring herself to do the one-hour training session on how to use a naloxone kit. “I don’t think I can yet,” she explains. “I’m not ready for it.” Charlie notes that it was only a year ago she lost another son to alcohol poisoning. Instead, she works at the market’s concession stand and keeps the volunteers at Blyth’s unsanctioned injection tents fed with hot dogs she sells for $1. “Losing two sons in two years is hard,” Charlie says. “I’m saving what I make, when I make money here. I’m saving up for headstones for both my sons. And I’m paying each month out of my welfare cheque. Trying to pay for headstones for both of them.” -

The Annual Sale Begins Saturday December 17 at 11am

FR A SAL MES E PR & S ICE UNG D F LA ROM SSE $99S Visi

t : br

uc e e

yew

ear.

c om

bruce eyewear

bruceToo

store hours: mon - fri 10-6 | sat 11-6 | sun 12-5 closed xmas, boxing & new year’s day

219 abb ot t stre et v ancouver, b c tel 6 0 4 . 6 62 . 83 0 0 w w w. bruce eyewear.com

3 55 3 m a i n s t r e e t (a t 2 0 t h) v a n c o u v e r, b c tel 6 0 4 .428 . 8 4 0 0 w w w. bruce eyewear.com

DECEMBER 15 – 22 / 2016 THE GEORGIA STRAIGHT 13

MOUNT PLEASANT Ride On

Chutney Villa

rideon.com

chutneyvilla.com As the holiday season draws near, our thoughts are filled with gratitude towards those who we serve. We wish you a joyous holiday season and a New Year filled with peace and happiness. We are deeply thankful and extend to you our best wishes for a happy and healthy holiday season.

Serving Main Street for over 12 years! Great Deals on NEW and USED Bikes, Full Service repair shop.

SKI and SNOWBOARD Tunes, ONLY $25

2180 Main St. 604.738.7734

Dream Designs

147 East Broadway 604.872.2228

Nouvelle Nouvelle

dreamdesigns.ca

nouvellenouvelle.com

Organic Natural Healthy Bedding, Bath, Yoga & More

gifts and clothing for men and women

208 East 12th

Quality made in Vancouver for over 35 years

Spend $100 and receive 15% off on your next order Instore purchases only. Valid until Dec. 24, 2016.

at Main

604.709.4566

Rockin Cowboy rockincowboy.ca

2749 Main St. (Main & 12th) 604.254.5012

The largest selection of new, used and vintage western apparel in BC. We are your rock and roll cowboys and girls in the community for over 40 years. Some of the most unique items for yourself and great gifts ideas like flasks, blankets, posters, jewelry. YEEEE HAAA!

Mon - Sat: 10-6 Sunday: 11-6

106 East Broadway Broadway & Qu eb ec

604.879.1914

UPCOMING EVENTS: TREE CHIPPING FUNDRAISER

Sunday, January 8, 2017 ■ Kingsgate Mall - NE Parking Lot

Can your store spare a quarter? 25% of all waste from the retail sector is corrugated cardboard

14 THE GEORGIA STRAIGHT DECEMBER 15 – 22 / 2016

VANCOUVER MURAL FESTIVAL WALKING TOURS Every Saturday ■ sign up: https://goo.gl/6W7CCV

For more ideas on recycling at work call 437-GVRD

URBAN LIVING

Avoid trendy holiday décor this Christmas

> BY JA NET SMITH

f you’re still putting the finishing touches on your Christmas décor, hold up a minute. Before you blow your savings on this year’s trendy turquoise ornaments, or if you’re finding it hard to resist the matching purple colour scheme that’s in all the magazines, consider this shrewd advice from an expert. “I think it’s really important to be investing in things that can last for multiple seasons,” Vancouver interior designer Kendall Ansell tells the Straight over the phone. “I feel like people kind of get stuck with untrendy holiday ornaments they don’t want to get rid of but they don’t want to use again.” ’Tis the season to think function, and not fleeting fancies— even if you want your home to look festive for entertaining. Here are a few of her holidaydesign tips that you’ll be able to put to use again and again, and in some cases, season after season. A GLASS ACT Opt for clear- or milkglass vessels rather than ones that come in the hue du jour. You’ll be able to use them year-round. “For spring, they look good with spring colours, and at Christmas you can fill them with bubbly things or things that sparkle,” Ansell says. At this time of year, they also look great with natural elements that you’ve brought in from outdoors. “A simple clear vase with twigs or pine cones gives a holiday look without spending a fortune,” she explains. GO VINTAGE There’s a reason your

grandmother’s precious glass ornaments didn’t go out of style over the decades—and still look great now. Vintage touches simply rise above trends. “My biggest thing personally, and my design philosophy, is you can

go out and buy all new, new, new, but if you don’t buy old or used or antique pieces too, you won’t get the room you want to achieve,” Ansell stresses. “It looks too untouched.” So hang your vintage ornaments on your tree, as Ansell will this year, or think of using them in unexpected places. She is loving the wreath someone recently fashioned out of an antique-glass collection and posted online. Alternately, try arranging them in a rectangular specimen vase, or in an old-fashioned cloche-dome vase with a wooden base. GET SOFT Think beyond garlands and use soft furnishings for holiday accents. The key here is that you need to keep your big purchases—sofas and chairs—to neutral tones. “When I design homes, I want you to have a sofa you could throw a red ‘JOY’ pillow on at Christmas,” says Ansell, though she stresses you can opt for less traditional colours. “A simple pillowcase can do so much, even just a creamy white one just to give your sofa a holiday mood. I think people forget about those little touches.” Gold, bronze, silver, or white throw pillows could do subtle wonders as well, she says. GO WILD Another safe bet for tree

ornaments is Ansell’s own favourite: animal themes. “I have peacocks and squirrels,” she says. “They’re not going to go out of style.” We recently found some miniature, adorably realistic faux-fur raccoons, fawns, baby bunnies, owls, and foxes at Chapters Indigo (various locations, by Glitterville, on sale for $6); antique mercury-glass bird ornaments at putti.ca/ ($9.95); silver glass woodland birds sitting in a twig nest at Hudson’s Bay ($5.99, Gluckstein Home), where you’ll also find vintage-look matte-gold-foil-andceramic squirrels and deer ($4.99). -

When it comes to holiday décor or gift-giving, Vancouver interior designer Kendall Ansell recommends opting for clear-glass vessels rather than ones that come in this year’s trendy colours like turquoise or purple.

CRIB SHEET EYE CANDY From candy canes and sugar cookies to gingerbread and pecan pie, sweets of all sorts rule the holidays. But the next-best thing to pulling out a block of peppermint bark from your stocking has got to be these adorable macaron trinket boxes (from $12.95). Available in dreamy hues like pistachio green, lavender, and cotton-candy pink, they’re the perfect spot to store jewellery items and other easy-to-lose baubles. Sturdy ceramic casing and a satisfying snap closure keep your treasures safe and on lock. Find them at the Cross Decor & Design (1198 Homer Street). > LUCY LAU

ANNUAL WINTER CLEARANCE EVENT BEAT THE CROWD!

www.INspirationFurniture.ca 1275 WEST 6th AVE. VANCOUVER, B.C. V6H 1A6 T: 604 730 1275 FREE COVERED PARKING AVAILABLE

DECEMBER 15 – 22 / 2016 THE GEORGIA STRAIGHT 15

BOOKS jnh ÁO vbb h | jn¢n|j

5Gi50ft

Voucher

FOR EVERY

Prices in effect from December 8 - December 24 , 2016 th

Receive A

YOU SPEND*

Gift voucher redeemable from January 4th-8th, 2017

Stocking Stuffers s & Perfect Presents

C Charming Pet HHolidayy Toys

% 10 OFF Hugglehounds HHug uuggg HHoliday Toys

BUY 5 GET 1* FREE

B.F.F Cat Food

*Must be equal size and value

% 20 OFF

Bavarian and Kong Holiday Cat Toys

According to our distinguished group of local lit-scene members, The Shoe Boy by Duncan McCue (above) is one of the year’s most impressive works. #BFF Holiday Toys Jump JJu u Holiday Toys HHo o

Bailey & Bella Pet Gifts and Fall & Winter Apparel

BUY 5 GET 1* FREE

% 25 OFF

Old Mother Hubbard, Fruitables & Whimzees* Dog Packaged Treats See stores for details *Bulk excluded

Merrick Canned Dog Food

* Buy five 12.7 oz or larger cans of Merrick Dog Food and get one can of equal size and value FREE.

2738 Arbutus Street | 604-703-1768

Visit tisol.ca for2949 a location near| you! | Main Street 604-873-4117 * A $5 Gift Voucher is received for each increment of $50 (before taxes) spent between December 8th – 24th, 2016. Redeemable for purchases and/or services from January 4th – 8th, 2017. See in-store for full details. Save amounts refer to our regular price. Products may not be exactly as shown. Availability will vary by store. Available while quantities last. Not responsible for typographical errors. Prices are in effect until December 24th, 2016 and are thereafter subject to change without notice. © 2016 Tisol Pet Nutrition and Supply Store

Community looks back on favourite 2016 titles

> B Y B RIAN LYN CH

t’s hard to imagine any book rivalling the hallucination that was 2016, apart from the Book of Revelation. Still, in a year that outstripped fiction itself for bitter irony and shocking twists, many excellent works appeared. So we asked several distinguished members of the local literary scene to help us sort through the stacks. As ever in our annual roundup, we weren’t looking for “best” books, because that’s an impossibly slippery task. We wanted to hear about favourites—the ones that resonated, haunted, provoked, and endeared themselves above all others. Each of our respondents has been limited to just one title—except for the Vancouver Public Library Reading Experts, who collectively picked two. ANNE

GIARDINI

(author, SFU chancellor) I was moved by Claudia Casper’s latest novel, The Mercy Journals.. This is a rare speculative, postapocalyptic book in which the protagonists have learned lessons that might help our flawed species to survive. Divided into two neatly interconnected parts, The Mercy Journals blends novelistic narrative, biblical themes, and news from current and future headlines into a compelling story that covers peace and war, abundance and scarcity, new life and murder. The book is set in the Pacific Northwest, a familiar setting for Georgia Straight readers. The time is a few decades in the future. Mercy is a former soldier suffering from PTSD. His healing begins in the city, and reaches a surprising and satisfying conclusion in the wilderness we are at risk of undervaluing and so losing.

on the present, and Janet Rogers has a way of consistently challenging the reader to deconstruct their own narratives toward this land we all know as Canada. Since reading her poems, I now use the reminders to deconstruct my colonized world. In Janet’s words, “Trust your guts, don’t forget & constantly remember, be grateful.” JOSEPH PLANTA (interviewer, www.TheCommentary.ca) Duncan McCue’s memoir The Shoe Boy is an urgent book. It’s tightly paced; and as it’s published by Nonvella, it isn’t long. He recounts the few months he spent at age 17, living with a James Bay Cree family. He discusses their way of life, which is challenged by its very remoteness. He talks candidly about his own coming of age, his Anishinaabe identity, and the culture shock he is keenly aware of today. With clarity he repeats the urgency of realizing the lot of First Nations youth. He’s written the book in the midst of a busy and distinguished career in television news. And as he’s also just taken on the hosting chores of CBC Radio One’s Cross Country Checkup, I really hope he’ll continue to find time to write, as his voice is familiar as it is fresh. YASUKO THANH (author, winner

of the 2016 Rogers Writers’ Trust Fiction Prize) I had the pleasure of hearing Anosh Irani read at the International Festival of Authors in Toronto. I found myself checking my heart to make sure it was still beating because his words drove The Parcel Parcel’s narrative into me like a stake. RENAE MORRISEAU Irani has said he actor, writer, former VPL “writes from the (actor, body” and I believe aboriginal storyteller in him because the residence) We all have a power of his work distorted view of “Cangoes beyond subject ada” (from the Iroquoimatter: the voice an word Kanata, meantouched me in ways ing “village”) because only a story from the of colonization. For gut can deliver. The Mohawk writer Janet impetus and urgency Rogers, her fifth book of Madhu’s story, the of poetry, Totem Poles tragic tale of a hijra and Railroads, brings a from Bombay, make dual lens toward the inthis book, for me, my fluences between First Nations and Kanata world-views. favourite book of 2016. Such as her poem “Where Are Your Guts?”, with its title from a line ori- VANCOUVER PUBLIC LIBRARY ginally spoken by Johnny Cash, ask- READING EXPERTS 2016 was aning radio stations why they refused to other rich year for literature, makplay his songs from his concept album ing it difficult to pick just one title Bitter Tears: Ballads of the American that we absolutely loved. So we, the Indian in 1964. Our collective Kanata VPL Reading Experts, offer two see page 18 history has a way of putting pressure 16 THE GEORGIA STRAIGHT DECEMBER 15 – 22 / 2016

ITALIAN COURSES FOR ADULTS

It is no accident we are #1

LANGUAGE COURSES / PRIVATE LESSONS / ITALIAN CLASSES FOR TRAVELERS / CONVERSATION CLASSES ADULT CLASSES CLASSES START BEGIN ADULT JANUARY 2017 APRIL 5TH7TH, , 2016 REGISTRATIONS REGISTER NOW ARE OPEN SUMMER CAMP FOR CHILDREN AVAILABLE TWO WEEKS:

Your first call when an accident strikes

July 4-8 & July 11-15

Warnett Hallen LLP is a boutique law firm that specializes in one thing – personal injury law. AY TOD CALL I L A B L E A V A

24/7

WE CONTACT ALSO OFFERUS: COURSES FOR CHILDREN & YOUTH STARTING IN 2017 604-430-3337 OR www.iccvancouver.ca CONTACT CULTURAL US: 604-430-3337 OR www.iccvancouver.ca ITALIAN CENTRE SOCIETY ITALIAN CULTURAL SOCIETY V5M 3E4 3075 SLOCAN ST.CENTRE VANCOUVER, 3075 SLOCAN ST. VANCOUVER, WE ALSO OFFER COURSESV5M FOR3E4 CHILDREN & YOUTH

FREE CONSULTATION 604.737.3300

720 Robson Street, 5th Floor Vancouver, BC V6Z 1A1

warnetthallen.com

Would you like to swallow 20 pills every day, just to digest your food? If you had cystic fibrosis, you’d have no choice. www.cysticfibrosis.ca

Hot Hot Hot... Gifts AeroPress Coffee Maker Made in the USA

“RATED Best Coffee Maker by User Reviews”

1-3 cup Coffee and Espresso Maker

$39.99 $219.99

STAUB Made in France

Brasier 11”/28cm 3.8L

OXO Good Grips Hand Held Spiralizer

Reg $49.98

$13.99 Reg $19.98

Reg $375

$139.99

Global

Made in Japan

8”Cook & 4” Kitchen Knife set

$99.99 Reg $219.98

All- Clad

Reg $220

12” Frypan w/Lid. Triply Stainless Prices Valid while qtys last /or Dec 18, 2016

A Vancouver original since 1917 TEL: 604-683-7268 www.mingwo.com

23 E. Pender

| 2170 W. 4th | 2707 Granville | Capilano Mall | Lougheed Mall DECEMBER 15 – 22 / 2016 THE GEORGIA STRAIGHT 17

Community looks back

from page 16

outstanding books. Our first pick is Do Not Say We Have Nothing by Vancouver-born Madeleine Thien. Perhaps no country underwent social change on the scale of China during the 20th century. History documents the results, but what about the human cost? How can a novelist make human collateral damage more than just a number? The sweep of Thien’s book

brilliantly achieves this feat by concentrating her narrative on the fate of the individual. We also have Alina Bronsky’s Baba Dunja’s Last Love, a wonderful novel featuring a determined Russian matriarch, Baba Dunja, who convinces a group of former neighbours to resettle in their abandoned village located in a nuclear contamination zone. The isolation of the villagers reminded us of the fate of the plague village of Eyam in Geraldine Brooks’s Year of Wonders. -

OUR CRITICS WEIGH IN Below, regular contributors to the Straight’s books section do

2 their level best to boil down another fine year into one title each.

No one writes about New York, and a certain set of New Yorkers, like Jay McInerney. Bright, Precious Days, his latest novel featuring Russell and Corrine Calloway, details the midlife disenchantment riddling their marriage. Betrayal. Ecstasy. Regret. Love. The coordinates of this domestic minefield are mapped with style and sensitivity, and offer an engaging look at the yields of time. > DAVID CHAU

Aarm Dental Group We’re in your neighborhood to make you smile…

0 9.0 *$ 9oom g Z in iten h W

Aarm Dental Group on Seymour

Family & Cosmetic Dentistry

993 Seymour Street

“This nation shouldn’t exist, if there is any justice in the world, for its foundations are murder, theft, and cruelty. Yet here we are,” says a character in Colson Whitehead’s The Underground Railroad. Here we are, indeed. The subject matter may be brutally violent and rooted in too-real history—a black teen girl’s dangerous flight from slavery in the pre–Civil War South—but Whitehead’s wittily graceful prose and magical-realist twist of presenting the Underground Railroad as a literal rail line make this book a transfixing, harrowing reflection of America’s past, and explanation of its present. > JENNIFER CROLL There’s nothing unusual about New Yorker writers making books out of profiles they’ve written for the magazine. You might even say it’s almost mandatory. Everyone has done it, from Janet Flanner to Kenneth Tynan. Claudia Roth Pierpont (no relation to Philip Roth, whose biographer she is) differs from the others in that she profiles the dead. American Rhapsody: Writers, Musicians, Movie Stars, and One Great Building brings together long-form biographical portraits of such cross-purposed figures as Scott Fitzgerald and Marlon Brando, or Stepin Fetchit and Laurence Olivier. The highlight is when she looks at Manhattan’s Chrysler Building as the George Gershwin of architecture and Gershwin as the Chrysler Building of music. > GEORGE

(corner of Nelson and Seymour)

FETHERLING

604-688-7607

Praising Known and Strange Things, the debut nonfiction collection by American-born, Nigerian-raised author and photographer Teju Cole, means figuring out where to start. With its passionate meditations on literary ancestors? Or its shrewd, captivating essays on the art and fate of photography? Or its searching travelogues, often expressing Cole’s outrage at state hypocrisy and the brutality that follows in the slipstream of power? The book is impressive on so many fronts, and so utterly cosmopolitan that it comes as a draft of courage and inclusion in a frightened, xenophobic time. > BRIAN LYNCH

*Patients are required to have a new patient exam, Xrays and cleaning. You can receive a FREE Electronic Toothbrush or Zoom In-Office Whitening for $99.00. Offer Expires December 31, 2016.

Dr. Andrea Baird

Dr. Jin Choi

EMERGENCY & NEW PATIENTS WELCOME OPEN

MONDAY TO SATURDAY

www.aarm-dental.com

18 THE GEORGIA STRAIGHT DECEMBER 15 – 22 / 2016

Ujjal Dosanjh’s Journey After Midnight: India, Canada and the Road Beyond is probably the most compelling memoir ever written by a former Canadian premier. It’s a remarkably frank, well-structured, and highly readable account of Dosanjh’s legal and political career. There’s plenty of drama in his encounters with Sikh extremists, including one who tried to kill him with an iron bar. And there are juicy revelations about his disagreements with two other NDP premiers: Glen Clark and Dave Barrett. Kudos to editor Barbara Pulling for her contributions to this very polished book. > CHARLIE SMITH The entirety of Karl Ove Knausgaard’s six-volume opus “My Struggle” could be subtitled “A Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man”, but the Joycean nod seems especially suited to the fifth volume, Some Rain Must Fall. Following the Norwegian writer through his 20s and early 30s, his years of education and development as a writer, Some Rain Must Fall is compelling, gut-wrenching, emotionally volatile stuff, an account of frustration, loss, and despair. This might not seem like praise, but the result is transfixing and transformative, for writer and reader alike. > ROBERT WIERSEMA

WORK FROM HOME HOME BASED BUSINESS!

■ Enjoy freedom as a home inspector ■ Complete training & certification ■ BC Gov’t Licensing ■ LIMITED SPOTS AVAILABLE!

Call Dave NOW to book your franchise presentation. (778) 996-0369 • www.bc.abuyerschoice.com

SEXY GIFTS!

Silicone Sex Toys • Lubes • Condoms • Books Sens Bachelorette Parties • DVDss • Sensual Gifts

Winter

70 OFF $ 199 $ 199

Clothing

UP TO

Ski Packages

[skis, bindings, boots]

FROM

Snowboard Packages

FROM

[snowboard, bindings, boots] Junior Ski/Boot Season Lease from $150

369 W. Broadway | 604.742.9988 www.artofloving.ca

| Bring your Skis/Boards in for Servicing

102 W. Broadway (at Manitoba), Vancouver | 604-879-6000

sportsjunkies.com

STRAIGHT WRAPPED FOR THE HOLIDAYS

FOR THE BEER LOVER

GIFTS FOR BEER LOVERS Granville Island Brewing is making the holidays cheerier than ever. Come find the gifts that won’t be re-gifted, in the most wonderful setting that Vancouver has to offer. From flavourful gift packs, to cozy fashions, to merry must-haves, Granville Island Brewing makes gift-giving as appetizing as the beer for which it’s named. Visit GIB.ca to learn more. Granville Island Brewing 1441 Cartwright Street GIB.ca

DECEMBER 15 – 22 / 2016 THE GEORGIA STRAIGHT 19

STRAIGHT WRAPPED for the

for the

HOLIDAYS

Art Enthusiast Foodie for the

for a

Good Night's Sleep

AUTHENTIC ITALIAN PANNETONE

Give the Gift of Membership This holiday season, treat your loved ones to a year of incredible art experiences including unlimited admission to exhibitions, exclusive invitations to members openings, a members-only newsletter, a discount at the gallery store, and much, much more. Purchase a gift of membership before December 31 and receive an additional month of membership, plus a bonus complimentary guest pass to the gallery.

Urban Fare sells a plethora of these traditional, sweet celebratory breads. The perfect accompaniment for a nice Italian coffee, Pannetone can also be used to make an unforgettable Christmas morning French toast.

Various prices up to $35 from Urban Fare www.urbanfare.com

Vancouver Art Gallery 750 Hornby Street www.vanartgallery.bc.ca

for the

Canucks Fan

Rothman & Co. 3301 West Broadway, Vancouver 604.731.2700 www.rothmanandco.com

for the

Cannasseur

JOHNNY PLAID SHIRT FOR MEN AND WOMEN Cozy up during the holiday season with the Johnny Plaid shirt, exclusively at the Canucks Team Store.

Give the gift of sleep this holiday season with Rothman & Co.'s 100 percent Egyptian cotton sheets, proudly made in Canada. Rothman & Co. prides itself on customer service, Canadian-made products, and a family-run store, so #ShopSmall this season online or in-store.

GOOD THINGS COME IN SMALL PACKAGES A perfect stocking stuffer for Dad whose back is sore, for Mom who can't sleep, and for you after a long day shopping. THCinfused Bath Bombs available in lemon lime, sweet orange and lavender.

Priced at $89.99 at 800 Griffiths Way, Vancouver, BC V6B 6G1

$12 at The Village Dispensary 206-1540 W 2nd Ave, Vancouver www.thevillagedispensary.ca

for the CANUCKS HOLIDAY TICKET PACK Pick three Canucks games, and get fantastic bonus gifts, including FlyOver Canada passes, Canucks SuperSkills tickets, and a limited-edition Canucks scarf to put under the tree. Canucks Holiday Ticket Packs are starting from $249

Canucks.com/HolidayPacks or call 604.670.5087

20 THE GEORGIA STRAIGHT DECEMBER 15 – 22 / 2016

Gift of Laughter Vancouver’s comedy festival, JFL NorthWest, presented in association with SiriusXM, returns from Thursday, February 16 to Saturday, February 25, at multiple venues across Vancouver. The lineup includes Sarah Silverman, Trevor Noah, Chris D’Elia, Iliza, Tom Segura, and Game Grumps, plus many more.

Multiple shows - Multiple prices. www.jflnorthwest.com

STRAIGHT WRAPPED

for the

for

HOLIDAYS for the

Santa's

Lounger

little helper

MAISON CLOSE PETIT SECRET ROUGE

LONG HOODIES AND BUTT FLAP ONESIES

Wear the Maison Close Petit Secret Rouge cupless bra (45$) with the matching Petit Secret Rouge opened thong (30$) and Petit Secret Rouge garter belt (45$) for a seductive ensemble that is guaranteed to heat up the holidays.

for the

Oddball ARTICULATED CAT SKELETON

Honey Gifts 3448 Cambie Street, Vancouver BC 350 Water Street, Vancouver BC 604-708-8065 www.honeygifts.com

Cool Kids Heelys, the number one gift kids want for Christmas.

$89 at Simon’s Bike Shop 608 Robson Street 604.602.1181 www.simonsbikeshop.com

$178 at This Monkey's Gone To Heaven 3957 Main Street www.thismonkey.ca

Wine Lover

for the

Host

$59 at Moe’s Home Collection 1728 Glen Dr, Vancouver 604.687.5599

Six Poplar Grove wines, a govino glass, recipes, and food pairing ideas are shipped to your door just in time for the holidays. Poplar Grove has taken the guesswork out of creating perfectly paired meals.

Poplar Grove www.poplargrove.ca

for the

Gifts That Keep Giving

GOLD GRID TRAY ROUND Holiday entertaining just got glam with the Grid Tray from Moe's Home Collection. The perfect tray for your bar cart or coffee table, this golden beauty is sure to make your holiday season (or a friend's) merry and bright.

FESTIVE HOLIDAY WINE PACK

Why Not Apparel Inc. www.thuggies.ca

for the

Art and science collide in this eclectic gift, perfect for all the weirdos in your life. Guaranteed to be the most unique present under the tree.

for the

Thuggies makes the coziest clothing ever out of custommilled sweatshirt cotton in a huge variety of colours. The perfect loungewear to replace those old PJs this holiday season, all orders are shipped quickly and for free out of their Vancouver office. Use STRAIGHT15 for 15 percent off all orders before December 20th.

1305 Welch Street,North Vancouver 778.340.6392

NJOY PLUG This is the Cadillac of plugs. The beautifully designed stainless steel nJoy Plug is heavy enough to make you flex your pelvic floor, which can lead to stronger orgasms. Hang some mistletoe from the handle, and voila. Festive!

Womyns' Ware Inc. 896 Commercial Drive,Vancouver, BC. www.womynsware.com

BI STRONIC FUSION The Bi Stronic Fusion is like a futuristic rabbit vibe. It's a rechargeable silicone waterproof thruster that vibrates. Remember when the Terminator came back, but he was a way better Terminator than the last time? That's this toy. Made in Germany.

Womyns' Ware Inc. 896 Commercial Drive,Vancouver www.womynsware.com

DECEMBER 15 – 22 / 2016 THE GEORGIA STRAIGHT 21

STYLE Celebration and Empowerment of Woman's Sexuality TM

apeek Take

Weight loss program based on your blood analysis and your health We design a complete personalized all-natural weight management program

www.womynsware.com

896 Commercial Drive, Vancouver, BC, T: 604.254.2543 or 1.888.WYM.WARE

No Pills No Shakes No Injections No Cravings No Hunger This program has been clinically proven with over 20 years of research and development

604-677-7742

LMhomeopath@gmail.com www.metabolic-balance.com littlemountainhomeopathy.com

Clockwise from top, dutil. Denim’s Quintessential black jeans, JD’s Barbershop goods; John Fluevog Montaigne hiking boots; and a Cursor and Thread design.

Cold-weather wear to keep guys on trend D AY 3 AL FIN

WAREHOUSE

SALE

UP TO 80% OFF

PREVIOUS SEASONS CLOTHING, SHOE S AND ACCE SSORIE S

+TAKE AN ADDITIONAL 50% OFF THE LAST MARKED PRICE* ENDS SATURDAY, DECEMBER 17 DON’ T MISS IT! 2741 GRANVILLE STREET THURS TO SAT 10 AM - 7PM

TIE ONE ON Any self-declared fashionista will vouch that a showstopping outfit is all in the details—a fact that Cursor & Thread takes to heart. The Vancouver-based accessories startup recently added neckerchiefs and pocket squares to its already dapper lineup of bow ties and neckties, and the new Yew bandanna ($48) is at the top of our wish list. Locally crafted in small batches, it features a playful black-and-white tree pattern that’s a nod to both the Pacific Northwest and Cursor’s commitment to reducing its carbon footprint. Tie the scarf around his neck or leave it peeking out from the pocket of his denim jacket for a certain je ne sais quoi. And don’t be afraid to “borrow” it when your own outfit needs spicing: the look is totally unisex. Find Cursor online (cursorandthread.com/) and at Gravity Pope (2203 West 4th Avenue). > LUCY LAU

FANCY FOOTWORK If Vancouver’s so-called Snowmageddon is good for one thing, it’s giving us an excuse to splurge on—nay, invest in—a pair of sturdy, water-resistant, and gripequipped shoes. But forget the padded rubber boots you used to rock on the playground: local footwear wiz John Fluevog’s creations make dressing for the weather surprisingly chic. Our pick is the designer’s recently released Montaigne lace-up hiking boots ($389), which come accented with an aqua-blue or tangerine sole. The durable leather construction and Fluevog’s signature handiwork are built to last through all sorts of outdoor treks—from off-road hikes to light rock climbing—so you can trust that they’ll be in heavy rotation with your guy long after the flurries have gone. Find them at John Fluevog (65 Water Street and 837 Granville Street). > LL

GUY GUNK For that well-groomed

BLUBIRD.CA *SOME EXCEPTIONS APPLY

22 THE GEORGIA STRAIGHT DECEMBER 15 – 22 / 2016

guy on your list, we like JD’s Barbershop’s (various locations) line of nononsense concoctions—packed in red-and-white-striped containers that look suitably festive. Your guy can tame his spiffy new buzz cut with JD’s

Grooming Cream ($25 for 120 grams), a light, fresh-smelling formula that can look either sleek or tousled: for the former, put the cream through wet hair and comb it out; for the latter, use fingertips to get that tidy-bedhead effect. Check out the shop’s old-school shaving cream, for a clean yet moist lather (about $20 for 120 grams), and pair it with a bracing, citrusy aftershave ($15 for 60 grams). > JANET SMITH

GOOD GENES Great denim can take

you far in life. In other words, find some flattering jeans—with the right fit, comfy stretch, and a back rise that won’t reveal all if you happen to bend over or, you know, sit down—and you may just get away with rocking the same pair for seven consecutive days if you happen to forget all other pants while on vacation. (Hypothetically speaking, of course.) And we can say—with confidence—that dutil. Denim’s Quintessential black raw denim ($248) fits this bill. Available in a dark ebony wash, the jeans are crafted from Italian denim that offers plenty of room for movement while keeping its shape. Slim and lean fit enable the legs to tuck easily into boots, while Dutil’s traditional redline selvedge gives your dude a reason to roll up the cuffs. Find them at dutil. Denim (303 West Cordova Street). > LL

Show your provincial pride with one of Arborist’s kitschy pom-pom tuques, sold at Drake General Store (Hudson’s Bay, 674 Granville Street), purveyor of all things retro-Canadiana. The cozy British Columbia version, emblazoned with old-school cursive script, comes in black with grey and white trim—not quite the screaming colour combo of, say, Prince Edward Island’s green, yellow, and white. The tuques are on sale for $28. Pair them with the Hockey thermos ($38), Mountie socks, and an iconic Pure Maple Syrup pillow (part of a $40 Canadiana bundle) for a gift package that practically screams “Canadian, eh?!”

TOPNOTCH TOQUES

> JS

FOOD

Local chefs suggest inspired seasonal sides

he Middle East might not seem a likely place for traditional Christmas dinner. Chef Karan Suri, however, became adept at cooking turkey during his time at a luxury chain in Dubai. Situated in a city made up of more than 80 percent foreigners, the hotel offered a “turkey to go” meal. It proved crazily popular. “One year, I roasted 60 turkeys in December,” Suri says in a phone call with the Georgia Straight. “I did about 20 a day.” That was in 2010, the Delhi native going on to join Fairmont Hotels, overseeing a trio of properties in Africa before landing at the Fairmont Vancouver Airport. Last year, he moved to the Fairmont Waterfront, where he’s prepping for a busy holiday season at its dining room, the ARC Restaurant. The establishment will be offering classic Christmas dinner, ARC Restaurant chef Karan Suri touts beets with Swiss chard and heirloom carrots with honey. Tracey Kusiewicz photo. with Suri using his preferred method of preparing the bird: he removes and bring out this herby sweetness that “I also highly recommend heirA half or full head of cauliflower debones the legs so that the dark and complements turkey really well.” loom carrots,” Suri says. “We get red, served the way it’s done at Belgard white meat can be cooked separately, Before sautéing them with kale yellow, and orange and roast them Kitchen is worthy of a place at the each perfectly. or Swiss chard, Suri roasts them in a with our rooftop honey and sage. holiday dinner table. Chef Reuben But although the turkey always salt crust at ARC. Although that may “If you want to keep things really Major explains that the crucifer is takes centre stage, it’s the sides be too time-consuming at home on simple, take all your veg into one cooked sous-vide and tossed with salt, that truly make the meal. Green Christmas Day, he suggests selecting mix, roast with good-quality olive pepper, apple-cider vinegar, and garbeans amandine baby beets—trim- oil and salt and pepper, then toss lic confit (one of his kitchen staples), and mashed poming them prior with good-quality maple syrup and then served atop romesco sauce in a tatoes are fi ne, to putting them in butter,” he adds. “That will add a nice skillet with crispy capers and “a ton but they’re also the oven so they’re glaze and a little bit of sweetness.” of shaved Grana Padano”. Although Gail Johnson predictable and easy to peel—and With Brussels sprouts being the consumers can pick up sous-vide border on boring. Suri and other tossing them with Tuscan-herb ol- Susan Boyle of the food world—over- machines at Costco, home cooks who Vancouver chefs have several ideas ive oil from the Vancouver Olive Oil looked in the past but having risen to don’t happen to have the small applito help home cooks make this year’s Company. (He describes the menu at stardom—consider Suri’s version: he ance on hand could instead blanch holiday dinner one for which Santa the Waterfront as hyperlocal, featur- dresses them with lemon, chili, and the veg, then, when ready to serve, fire would travel the globe. ing other regional ingredients like Parmesan or pecorino cheese. His it in the oven till hot. “This is the season for beets, and greens from Hannah Brook Farm, preferred method of cooking is deepWinter-vegetable succotash is anyou can get a lot of character out of Oyama Sausage Co. meats for char- frying, but at home you could bake other idea. “Take any combination them by roasting them,” Suri says. cuterie, and cheese from Golden Ears them before frying them with the of butternut squash—or any other “The moment you roast beets, you Cheesecrafters.) other ingredients. squash, for that matter—parsnip,

Best Eats

THINGS TO DO

Meal ticket CHRISTMAS MARKET Looking for a holiday attraction to check out in the city? The annual Vancouver Christmas Market at Jack Poole Plaza (1055 Canada Place) is a must-see tradition this time of year and runs through December 31. There are over 70 vendors that offer everything from Christmas ornaments to handmade ceramic vases, from sweet treats to mulled wine. Try some of the mouthwatering German fare like pork hock or sip some apple cider in the Alpine Haus tent to keep warm. Make it a family affair and bring the kids along, because they’ll definitely enjoy decorating gingerbread cookies or taking a ride on the carousel. Tickets (various prices) can be purchased online at vancouver christmasmarket.com/ . -

TOP MOVIES

CHIMNEY CAKES A traditional Hungarian pastry that’s crispy on the outside and soft and fluffy on the inside.

GULASCH Austrian comfort food in the form of beef stew (with potatoes and Hungarian paprika) served in a bread bowl, with a vegan option as well.

SCHWEINSHAXE A Bavarian-style pork hock that’s roasted until it’s crispy on the outside and tender on the inside.

SPÄTZLE Handmade German egg noodles with toppings like cheese and caramelized onions, mushroom cream sauce, or German cucumber salad.

SPANISH CHURROS A classic warm and sweet treat with flavours like cinnamon and sugar or topped with chocolate, nuts, and sprinkles.

RESTAURANT SINCE 1974

➤TO ADVERTISE CALL 604-730-7000

FEUERZANGENBOWLE The holidays call for booze—and lots of it. How else are you supposed to deal with the sardine-packed malls, dinners with your in-laws, and screaming children on Christmas morning? The Germans were onto something when they came up with Feuerzangenbowle—or “fire tongs punch”—a warming combo of mulled wine and rum that’s prepared with the help of a caramelized sugar loaf. See it concocted at the Vancouver Christmas Market and don’t forget to pick up a glass or four for yourself. You’ll need it. -

THE OPEN

HOURS

2015

12T H A N N U A L

2014

2015

Naam Restaurant

Golden Plate Awards Best Vegetarian 20 years running

ISSUE DECEMBER 22

Cocktail of the week

Five must-try foods at the 2016 Vancouver Christmas Market

AFGHAN HORSEMEN AWARD WINNING AFGHAN CUISINE

see page 25

FOOD High five

LOOK FOR OUR

turnip, and celery root, toss it all in garlic oil and seasoning, then put it in the oven till it’s chewy but caramelized,” Major says. “I would put some raw grape or cherry tomatoes in there or serrano-chili coins—just thinly sliced—and some parsley and cilantro leaves and dress it with a maple-walnut vinaigrette. It’s very festive and would go great with turkey or ham.” If you’re seeking a hearty side, Juniper executive chef Sarah Stewart suggests oxtail smashed potatoes. “This is a great way to use leftovers,” she says. “You could use any braised meat. Take red jackets and smash them with a fork so they’re still chunky, and add cream and butter. I would use tourtière spices in there—cinnamon, allspice, marjoram, clove, rosemary, and thyme.” You could use the liquid from the braised meat to cook black lentils, then add diced mirepoix vegetables, Stewart says, while vegetarians could substitute veggie stock. She’s also fond of rye berries, which she uses to make risotto that’s served with a roasted-parsnip purée. “I would add some Meyer lemon in there and walnut to make it festive,” she says. “Rye berries are whole rye kernels and are really healthy.” Here’s a tip for a flavourful stuffing: add cherries poached in beer. “You could also use squash along with leftover bread to make a savoury bread pudding,” Stewart says. The secret to outstanding stuffing is adding your favourite chutney, says chef Angie Quaale, owner of Well Seasoned gourmet foods in Langley. “I like to cook my stuffing outside the bird in a cake pan so it gets nice and crispy,” Quaale says. “The chutney mixed into the broth that you add to the stuffing adds a little fruity sweetness with a

Winner Winner Winner Winner 1833 Anderson St. (2nd Floor) Vancouver

Best Vegetarian Best Restaurant for a 3am meal Best Veggie Burger Most Vegan Friendly

BEFORE THE ENTRANCE TO GRANVILLE ISLAND, RIGHT BEHIND THE STARBUCKS

• Licensed • 7 Days A Week • Cozy Wood Fireplace • Heated Patio • Live Music at Dinner

www.afghanhorsemen.com

2724 W. 4th Ave. / 738-7151 / www.thenaam.com

(604)873-5923 Open 7 Days A Week

DECEMBER 15 – 22 / 2016 THE GEORGIA STRAIGHT 23

Local chefs

FOOD GIFT ROUNDUP

FOR THE CHOCOHOLIC

It may be the oldest gifting tradition you’ve heard of, but nothing says “Happy holidays” more than a box of chocolates. If you happen to know some of the folks who are obsessed with this particular treat, one option is to indulge them with the seasonal collection from the locally based Purdy’s Chocolatier. They’ve been making confectionery

since 1907, so you better believe that they do it well. From f lavourful gingerbread chocolates ($10 for a box of six) to eggnog truff les ($10 for a box of six), peppermint bars ($6) to adorable snowman lollies ($2.25 each, $6 for three), there’s definitely something for every type of sweet tooth. Purdy’s also offers its signature assorted chocolate boxes wrapped in festive paper, but if you want something fun and trendy, go for its snowf lake tin ($22)—a holiday-themed box filled with white, milk, and dark chocolates. All of its chocolate products are made from sustainably sourced cocoa, so you can feel good about giving these ethical (and tasty) gifts. Find them at Purdy’s Chocolatier (various locations) or online at www.purdys.com /.

FOR THE EDIBLE-OIL FANATICS

There’s something about dipping your food into various types of oils; it immediately enhances the flavours of whatever you’re eating. Take the famous lobster oil ($29.95 per bottle) from Joe Fortes Seafood

> BY TAMMY KWAN

& Chophouse—it’s simple but rich, affordable yet luxurious. Whether you use it for dipping fresh bread or add it into your homemade pasta creations, that added kick of flavour can take your dish to the next level. Without a doubt, whoever receives this oil from you will look forward to your gifts in the future. Find it at Joe Fortes (777 Thurlow Street). If you know a foodie who is into the simpler oils, go for Domenica Fiore Organic Olive Oil ($45 per bottle). It’s widely recognized as one of the best olive oils in the world, with each single-origin bottle numbered and dated—in case you want to trace when and where the olives in the oil were harvested. Its fresh and harmonious taste is great for bread-dipping and topping salads, or in other dishes. Find it at the Dirty Apron Cooking School (540 Beatty Street).

FOR THE FEARLESS FOODIE

For those who are always eager to try new types of food and are unafraid of culinary quirkiness, we suggest gifting the chocolate salami ($13.99) from Well Seasoned, a gourmet food store. Handmade in Langley, B.C., this edible gift is a classic Italian and Portuguese confection. At first glance, you may think that you’ll be chowing down on some savoury dessert, but it is actually meatless and filled with plenty of treats. You’ll taste a burst of different f lavours that range from dark chocolate to toasted almonds and pistachios to candied orange peel to dried cherries. If you’re wondering how to devour this small bundle of goodness, see next page

simply slice it and serve with tea and cookies or add it to a dessert platter. People who receive this food gift will definitely have their taste buds broaden—they’ll thank you for it. Find it at the Well Seasoned store (117–20353 64 Avenue, Langley) or online at www.wellseasoned.ca/. -

from page 23

hint of ginger to the mixture that is a bit unexpected but really delicious.” Veteran chef Dino Renaerts, partner in West Vancouver’s Bon Vivant Catering, suggests warm, crushed nugget potatoes with avocado-and-kale pesto to elevate Christmas dinner. After sautéing chopped shallots with a shredded head of kale, put those ingredients in a food processor along with two cloves of raw garlic, six basil leaves, one tablespoon of butter, and one avocado and pulse until the mixture is still slightly chunky, then fold into lightly mashed potatoes. “A tip is to look for seasonal ingredients, like B.C. nugget potatoes and B.C. kale,” Renaerts says. “Also, try to find avocados from Mexico, as these are always in season and still have good quality in the winter.” Mamie Taylor’s executive chef Jeff Koop—who will be making a vegan turducken, or “turnumpkin”, for his mom this Christmas by putting a roasted turnip inside kabocha squash along with a

stuffing of eggplant “bacon”, mushrooms, and bread—points to homemade mac ’n’ cheese as a side dish. The restaurant’s version consists of cheddar, Swiss, Parmesan, and Stilton cheese as well as smoked ham hock. “I’d probably omit the ham hock for a Christmasdinner side dish, but you could still add it in there—pull it apart—for the meatatarians in the family,” Koop says. Vancouver Aquarium Ocean Wise executive chef Ned Bell—who uses sustainable Dungeness crab in a stuffing with chestnut and brioche—suggests a new spin on cranberry sauce by using blueberries and birch syrup instead. “The birch syrup gives you this tangy, caramelized, sweet-and-sour relish/ sauce with your turkey instead of same old, same old,” he says. “B.C. frozen blueberries are amazing and they’re abundant.” Bell also loves emphasizing side dishes. “I’m all about nutrientdense plant-based ingredients, about the vegetable taking a more significant role in the entire meal,” he says. “We have rutabaga and turnip; I’m not saying don’t have mashed potatoes, but

why not try something new?” You could try, for instance, re-creating Nightingale’s roasted delicata squash with Walla Walla onion, Macedonian feta, and sage. “This dish is interesting because the skin of the squash is fully edible,” says executive chef and owner David Hawksworth. “I like that it has lots of good, natural sugars that make it a very tasty and luxe vegetable dish. The cheese adds a salty complexity.” Bonus? You can par-cook the squash ahead of time for efficiency. A lighter option is Hawksworth’s apple salad with toasted walnuts, Sichuan pepper, and Avonlea clothbound cheddar in a lemon vinaigrette. “We use organic apples from Pemberton in this dish,” Hawksworth says. “If you’re making it at home, choose a tart, crisp apple and go for a slightly sweeter cheddar like Avonlea—mild, not sharp or aged. Lightly toasted walnuts and celery bring added crunch, and a little heat from the Sichuan pepper offsets the lemon vinaigrette.” In his home country of Peru, Ancora Waterfront Dining executive chef

Ricardo Valverde grew up eating tamales along with turkey for Christmas dinner. Although those packets are labour-intensive, another common side dish he remembers fondly is Russian salad “with beets, potato, eggs mixed with mayo, onions, and vinegar to balance the acidity—that was very Christmassy for us,” Valverde says, noting that his mom would inject her raw turkey with beer and baste it for 24 hours before roasting it with Peruvian chili. “When I do a Canadian-style Christmas dinner, I go for root vegetables: celery root, turnips, Brussels sprouts, carrots. I love roasting them in butter and herbs—thyme and rosemary—and roasting them very slowly.” And Christmas for him wouldn’t be the same without hot chocolate and sweet Italian bread. “Panettone is as big in Peru as it is in Italy,” Valverde says. “You know it’s Christmas when you start seeing TV commercials for panettone.” For some of these recipes, see Straight.com.

STRAIGHT WRAPPED FOR THE HOLIDAYS

SHOP

CAPPELLERIA BERTACCHI HATS HANDMADE IN TUSCANY It’s Christmas time and Trilby and Fedora will cover your mind, with elegance and the unique Bertacchi Italian style. If you are looking for a distinctive hat or an exclusive and stylish present, choosing Bertacchi will let you stand out among the others.

THERE IS EVERYWHERE ELSE. AND THEN THERE’S GASTOWN.

www.italianhatcrafter.com r.com 207 Abbott Street

Ind ep end ent boutiqu es inhabit the neighbourhood, bringing exclusive lab els and local d esigners tog ether to cre ate a distinct shopping d estination. H om e to the cit y ’s d esign district, it showcases the b e st local and international of ferings. And there’s always tim e to sit and savour the mom ent. You’ll find dozens of exceptional e ateries to satisf y ever y taste. THIS HOLIDAY SEASON, DON’T JUST SHOP. EXPERIENCE SHOPPING THE WAY IT WAS MEANT TO BE.

Independent. Unique. Gastown. @ mygastown HILL’S NATIVE ART FOR THE ART LOVER Andy Everson’s amazing new limited-edition print Defiance is available exclusively at Hill’s Native Art. With the new Star Wars movie opening this weekend, it’s also a perfectly timely Christmas present. Hill’s is open from 9 A.M. to 9 P.M., seven days a week. From moccasins and cozy Cowichan knits to jewellery and fine art, it’s where you’ll find all the items on your list.

@gastown

@ mygastown

JD’S BARBERSHOP JD’S DOPP BAGS Locally designed and manufactured by redflagdesign.ca, these toiletry bags are the perfect gift for your favourite man, and each bag comes with three travel-size JD’s products. The Mini Dopp ($50) and Dopp Bag ($75) are available at all three of JD’s locations—Gastown, Dunbar, and the Vancouver Club.

www.jdsbarbershop.com 235 Abbott Street O T HER LOCATION:

915 W. Hastings Street 4345 Dunbar Street PARLIAMENT INTERIORS The favourite gifts for this season ($50-$100 category): made-in-Japan owl tea set, canvas weekend bag, felted wool fox pillow, and of course, memory blocks by Sid Dickens.

www.hills.ca 165 Water Street

DUTIL QUINTESSENTIAL MEN’S AND WOMEN’S GIFTS dutil.’s Quintessential collection includes perfect fitting jeans, stunning leather belts and bracelets, and its signature denim spray for the raw denim enthusiast. The dutil. gift card, packaged in a denim wallet, is always a sure bet!

www.parliamentinteriors.com 115 Water Street

www.dutildenim.com 303 West Cordova Street

ANGEL GO BOLD WITH DESIGUAL STYLE Shop Vancouver’s first Desigual boutique at Angel in Gastown. Desigual is from Barcelona, and the winter collection for men, women, and kids is 20 to 40 percent off.

angelvancouver.com 2 Powell Street

NEW FRAME OF MIND IC! BERLIN Style and innovation converge with ic! berlin’s Nguyet N., a jaw-dropping frame that epitomize’s the brand’s cutting-edge eyewear design. Pick up this pair in the festive “very berry” at Gastown’s Durant Sessions—your prime destination for hand-crafted and custom-made spectacles.

www.durantsessions.com 315 W Cordova Street

FLUEVOG SHOES THE MALALA POLKA DOT MARY JANE An elegant mary jane with a contrasting strap and toecap, the Malala is crafted in Peru from smooth, patent, and specialty leathers and features the familiar 2.75-inch leather wrapped Big Presence heel. Present yourself well. $349

www.Fluevog.com 65 Water Street O T HER LOCATION:

837 Granville Street

(604) 681-0947

24 THE GEORGIA STRAIGHT DECEMBER 15 – 22 / 2016

DECEMBER 15 – 22 / 2016 THE GEORGIA STRAIGHT 25

Local chefs

FOOD GIFT ROUNDUP

FOR THE CHOCOHOLIC

FOR THE EDIBLE-OIL FANATICS

> BY TAMMY KWAN

FOR THE FEARLESS FOODIE

from page 23

STRAIGHT WRAPPED FOR THE HOLIDAYS

SHOP

THERE IS EVERYWHERE ELSE. AND THEN THERE’S GASTOWN.

www.italianhatcrafter.com r.com 207 Abbott Street

@gastown

@ mygastown

www.jdsbarbershop.com 235 Abbott Street O T HER LOCATION:

www.hills.ca 165 Water Street

www.parliamentinteriors.com 115 Water Street

www.dutildenim.com 303 West Cordova Street

angelvancouver.com 2 Powell Street

www.durantsessions.com 315 W Cordova Street

www.Fluevog.com 65 Water Street O T HER LOCATION:

837 Granville Street

(604) 681-0947

24 THE GEORGIA STRAIGHT DECEMBER 15 – 22 / 2016

DECEMBER 15 – 22 / 2016 THE GEORGIA STRAIGHT 25

FOOD GIFT ROUNDUP It’s one of those products that you actually want to keep for yourself, even though you were planning on gifting it away. Find it at Ming Wo (various locations) or online at www.mingwo.com/.

FOR THE IRON CHEF

We all know at least one individual who loves to cook, and perhaps he/ she is even a professional chef. It can be argued that nothing makes them happier than receiving a set of new knives, so if you have a deep pocket for Christmas gifts this year, we suggest gifting some high-quality Japanese knives. Chinatown’s Ai & Om Knives carries Hisamoto knives, which deliver precision, quality, and comfort. This line of knives includes a petty ($90), slicer ($229), Santoku ($139), and chef ’s knife ($148), which can all be purchased individually or bundled up as a set. Their functions range from slicing and dicing to cutting fish, meat, and roasts. Who knows, maybe after you give this thoughtful present, you’ll be invited over for a delicious meal. Find them at Ai & Om (129 East Pender Street).

“Come Celebrate this Holiday Season “

TAPAS SAMPLER $19/PERSON

(Include your choice of 1 meat & 2 vegetarian tapas) 2270 Commercial Drive • Between 6th & 7th

www.cabrito.ca

L I V E M U S I C W E E K LY

Think you

know BBQ? You don’t know

FOR THE SAUCE ENTHUSIAST

Vancouver’s first Central Texas BBQ roadhouse is NOW OPEN. Reservations recommended. (Vegetarians, not so much...) Open at 5 pm til late Wed - Sun Brunch served 10 am - 2 pm Sat/Sun

337 E. Hastings St. (just east of Gore St.)

meatatdixies.com ig @jeremyszafron

For the most part, it all comes down to an individual’s cooking skills if his/her food tastes good or bad. But when you do have someone who can cook well and uses fresh ingredients, then maybe a little boost to their kitchen equipment will give the extra wow factor to their dishes. Sauce-making enthusiasts will definitely dig All Clad’s coppercore two-quart saucepan (on sale for $179.99)—perfect for making creamy white sauces, tomato-based concoctions, or small portions of gourmet ramen. It features a bonded five-ply construction with layers of aluminum and a copper core, as well as a cast stainless-steel handle. Besides the functionality of this item, its exposed copper band makes it one beautiful saucepan.

YOUR NEIGHBOURHOOD LIQUOR STORE SERVING YOU BOUTIQUE SPIRITS, WINE AND CRAFT BEER

FOR THE HOMEBODY

> BY TAMMY KWAN

the candy-apple red, which fits perfectly with the holidays). This product comes with a 10-speed slide, polished stainless-steel bowl with a handle, flex-edge beater, dough hook, and more. It can make up to five dozen cookies at once, so holiday baking will be very efficient. Whoever receives this generous gift will proceed to enter baking heaven, and you can bet that they’ll be whipping up cakes, brownies, loaves, and much more. If anyone needs a break from baking, this stand mixer can also be used for mashed potatoes, pizza dough, and other tasty foods. The only problem with receiving this gift is what should be given in return. Find it at the Gourmet Warehouse (1340 East Hastings Street) or online at www. gourmetwarehouse.ca/.

It’s a known fact that there are countless places to eat out in Vancouver, but there are also many people who’d rather cook and eat in the comfort of their own home. For the homebodies who prefer to create their own dishes in their kitchen, we suggest gifting the Ballarini Bologna Granitium nonstick fry pan (9.5 to 12.5 inches, $99.99 to $129.99). We know, it’s a mouthful. This product is from a newly launched Zwilling brand in Canada, and its features include an ergonomic heat-insulating handle, granitium nonstick coating, and a Thermopoint heat indicator for safety and energy-saving. Made in Italy, it has a sleek design that’s easy on the eye, because we know how important it is these days to have your cookware look nice (es- FOR THE GRILL LOVERS pecially when guests are over for holiday parties). Find it at the Bay It may be a snowy and frosty De(various locations) or online at cember, but that doesn’t stop a www.zwilling.ca/. barbecue-obsessed individual from grilling their favourite kind of steak or patties. However, for the majority of grillers who can’t wait to resume their summer hobbies next year, there’s nothing better than opening up a gift on Christmas morning that screams “barbecue”. Surprise them with Williams-Sonoma’s BBQ Tool Set ($144.34)—complete with a sturdy wooden box for storage and easy transport. The gift set includes a basting mop, fork, slotted spatula, and tongs, all made from stainless steel. The tools’ handles are made with stay-cool synthetic maFOR THE AVID BAKER terial and are extra long so users won’t have to worry about burnAmateur bakers will tell you exactly ing temperatures when grilling. what’s at the top of their wish list: We’re pretty sure that all the dads a professional-grade stand mixer. out there who receive this gift will What we are referring to is Kit- beam with excitement or, if they chenAid’s Artisan Mini Premium like to keep their emotions guard3.5-quart stand mixer (on sale for ed, try very hard not to show off $429.99), which comes in a var- a big grin. Find it online at www. iety of colours (but we’re digging williams-sonoma.com/. -

E XC E P T I O N A L I TA L I A N C U I S I N E

OFF

Receive 50% off our stunning selection of authentic Italian pasta dishes on Sundays from 5pm to 9pm

Limited time offer. Reservations recommended. Coupon must be presented.

860 BURRARD ST. VANCOUVER • 604.685.7770 Across from the Sutton Place Hotel

26 THE GEORGIA STRAIGHT DECEMBER 15 – 22 / 2016

FOOD With this Ad

Pre-order your Tourtiere, Sugar Pie, and Creton before Dec. 20th for Christmas!

Buy an 8 oz SMOKED MEAT sandwich & get a FREE small POUTINE.

Wishing You a Merry Christmas 2470 Main Street and a Happy New Year! 604.253.4545 *expires Jan 15/2017

• GREEK RES T AU R A N T •

L’Abattoir’s Lisa Haley helps diners learn about approachable wines by little-known producers. Amanda Siebert photo.

Wine programs hit the spot

ne of my favourite things be as general or as specific as you like. about this time of year is I generally err toward the former, saying when I’ve finished up an something as simple as “light red” or afternoon of holiday shop- “sparkling”. In saying this, always feel ping and running errands and take free to get way more specific; if you’re a load off at the bar of one of my into a Chardonnay, share the style you favourite restaurants. Regardless generally like, whether crisp and citrusy of what wine gets or full of tropical poured for me, it’s notes with lots of pretty much guaroak. Most often, anteed it’ll totally, there will be an Kurtis Kolt totally hit the spot. option for you to On any restaurant’s wine list, there taste a small splash before committing will always be a handful of wines to to a glass, so no worries about being which I gravitate, but in most scenar- stuck with something you don’t want. At the same time, don’t take these ios, I ask the resident wine gal or guy to pick something for me. This is some- kinds of opportunities for granted thing you should do too. It’s a great way and run the scales, requesting tastes of to discover new favourites, and you everything offered by the glass. Needreally needn’t worry about receiving less to say, that’s kinda pushing it. Here are a trio of places where something you’re not a fan of. First off: any decent sommelier the person running the wine prowill always ask you what you’re in the gram manages to hit the nail on the mood for, and that’s where you can head every time I visit.

The Bottle

L’ABATTOIR

217 Carrall Street, labattoir.ca/ Lisa Haley is the wine director at Gastown’s L’Abattoir, and I trust her palate so much that I brought her on as part of the winery-selection committee for Top Drop Vancouver, the terroir-focused wine event I run every year. Along with sommelier Kristi Linneboe, she oversees a program offering approachable wines by producers you’re likely to be encountering for the first time. Current highlights include a stellar Jean Bourdy nonvintage sparkling Chardonnay from the Jura region of France, offering plenty of roasted hazelnuts and almonds, sea salt, marmalade, and tangy lemon notes. Speaking of sparkling, the ladies have recently introduced a Bubbles at Brunch program on Saturdays and Sundays, where they’re offering

VOTE

FOR YOUR FAVOURITE RESTAURANTS

see next page

Co me E x p e r ie n c e ! wh a t G r e e c e h a s t o o f fe r • Authentic Greek Food • Cozy Atmosphere • Friendly Service

1830 Fir St Vancouver 604.736.9559 www.apolloniagreekrestaurant.com DINE-IN, TAKE-OUT & FREE HOME DELIVERY SERVING LUNCH & DINNER CLOSED MONDAYS

SHARE YOUR CUISINE CONFESSIONS WIN A TRIP TO *

PARIS

COURTESY OF

Ballot available at PRIZING SPONSORS

DECEMBER 15 – 22 / 2016 THE GEORGIA STRAIGHT 27

Wine programs

from previous page

a great selection of sparkling wines and Champagnes, listing them at ridiculously low markups. Last time I swung by for that, I may or may not have had to ditch plans I’d had for the rest of the day. CINARA

350 West Pender Street, cinara.ca/ Cinara’s owner (and the guy running the burners), Lucais Syme, is one of my favourite chefs in the city because of his comfy, elegant take on Old World cuisine; his pastas are some of the best you’ll find in town. When first sidling up to the bar, though, my main mission is to ask wine guy Neil Ingram what I should be drinking. Ingram has been pouring me wine for more than 20 years now, from when I first met him as he pulled corks at chef Andrey Durbach’s longshuttered Étoile on Hornby, through his tenure at chef Rob Feenie’s Lumière on West Broadway, and then at the helm of his own place, Gastown’s popular Boneta, until he opted to close in late 2013. He is a brilliant, charismatic wine guy who has been a major influence on Vancouver’s wine scene—in that he’s one of the key veterans who helped shape contemporary wine service in our city—and it comes more from a place of enthusiasm and

cheer rather than being too precious or highfalutin. He practically has a sixth sense for introducing you to a wine that will become your new favourite. I honestly can’t recall a time I’ve ordered a specific glass of wine from the guy. Tell him your mood and he’ll ensure a pour that hits the spot, often a unique Italian wine from a quirky, tucked-away region and made from indigenous grape varieties about which he’ll be more than happy to wax poetic. THE ARBOR

3941 Main Street thearborrestaurant.ca/ Paul McCloskey recently made the leap from managing at Royal Dinette to joining the crew from Main Street’s Acorn at the Arbor, their new casual joint just a few doors down. As you tuck into one of their contemporary comfort-food dishes—like chef Rob Clarke’s southern-fried artichoke sandwich with eggplant, bacon, and avocado mousse—have McCloskey pour you something from his brief yet dynamic list featuring gems out of small producers from France to Australia. In fact, my recommendation of Alpha Box & Dice Grenache 2015 from McLaren Vale, Australia, in this column just last week was inspired by my last visit. It’s destined to change often, so it’s a great excuse to become a regular at this new neighbourhood spot! -

PRESENTS THE INTERNATIONAL SENSATION

January 13 - 15 • 4 Shows Only!

The 7 Fingers’

TicketsTonight.ca 1-877-840-0457

craftyaffaire.com

@craftyaffaire

January 25 — 29, 2017 Vancouver Playhouse

“One of the most famous circus companies in the world.” — Le Monde (France)

Tickets available at

seizieme.ca ticketstonight.ca 100+ VENDORS | FOOD TRUCKS | $2 ADMISSION KIDS FREE | SWAG BAGS FREE ADMISSION WITH THIS AD

28 THE GEORGIA STRAIGHT DECEMBER 15 – 22 / 2016

ARTS

Tenor Aaron Sheehan says Johann Sebastian Bach’s writing for voices is instrumental. while alto Meg Bragle says the Baroque master crafted spiritual ideas and technical genius into small moments.

Finding Bach in the details

On Christmas Day of St. John or St. Matthew passions with all their 1723, the great compos- qualities, done in much less time,” says Sheeer led the vespers service han. The program also includes Bach’s cantata at St. Nicolas Church in Wachet auf, ruft uns die Stimme, as well as his Leipzig, introducing his contemporary Telemann’s Concerto for Three largest vocal work to Trumpets, Two Oboes and Timpani in D Major. Bach’s instrumental approach to vocal writing date, the Magnificat. It was performed in E-flat leaves little space for the catching of breath, Bragle major, with four Christ- notes. “From a technical aspect the challenge is bemas texts and hymns ing able to communicate the long lines,” the alto Meg Bragle and Aaron Sheehan are two of the soloists discovering in German included. explains. “It’s very much instrumental writing and the subtle textures in EMV’s Festive Cantatas: J.S. Bach Magnificat But when the work was I think that for him the text is paramount, and he revived and revised 10 wants you to communicate what he’s set down to the Vocal parts written by Johann Sebastian years later, Bach transposed it to D major, and re- page. So if you have to stretch your breath to make it Bach pose many challenges for singers, but yield moved the seasonal texts, as it was probably pre- work, you just have to do it. Musically speaking, the BY TONY MONTAG UE unique rewards. Both alto Meg Bragle and tenor sented in July. He also replaced the oboes for some challenge is to communicate this text to audiences Aaron Sheehan—two of the five soloists in Early passages with the more sensual oboes d’amore, for whom German is not their language.…That’s a Music Vancouver’s upcoming concert of music and assigned the recorder parts to flutes. real challenge, but the one I love most.” by Bach and Georg Philipp Telemann—extol the “I agree that Bach’s writing for voices is in“D major really catches your attention, and cercomposer’s finesse as an artist able to intertwine tainly in the opening movement—that’s Christmas strumental,” says Sheehan, “and that I have to vocal and instrumental parts with unmatched right there,” says Bragle. “It’s very reminiscent of think about him a little differently. Maybe I’ll care and invention. the Christmas oratorios, and has a completely dif- sing a bit lighter and on the edges of my voice. “You’re an equal partner with all the other ferent affect in D. E-flat is a softer, more rounded Much of the time, you’re doing fast-moving pasinstruments in play, you’re part of the texture— sound. So texturally it’s quite different.” sages—work with a lot of coloratura. And there one of the gang,” says Bragle, reached in ChiThe Christmas texts are in the German used for are also many jumps, many arpeggios where cago. “Bach weaves such an amazing tapestry— church services by Lutherans like the Bach you’re moving between different ranges of forgive the word, but it is that. You see the full family, whereas the Magnificat text is your voice. If you aren’t careful, all of picture of what he’s going for, and there are so in Latin, the language of the Catholic a sudden you can have a train wreck. many small details.…It can be the voices and Church that the Lutherans rejected. The main thing is—even if you get off Check out… STRAIGHT.COM instruments working together sometimes or as “It’s great to have the German interyour line for a couple of measures— Visit our website a contrast to each other. It’s immensely satis- polated in the Latin,” says Bragle. to maintain your calm.” for morning-after fying to sing. You can’t relax, it’s never boring, “I think it’s a way of making things Singing Bach is a lifelong pursuit, reviews and local there are layers on layers. I translate all my texts, more personal, another way for the with moments of illumination. “He’s arts news I think about what I’m saying and the context, congregation to be even more invested, endlessly inspirational,” says Bragle. all of these things, and still I was in a concert because Latin would be associated with “I don’t think you can be done with him; not long ago and suddenly this one particular the church they were breaking away from. perhaps that’s the best way to put it. Whoever phrase occurred to me as a new thought—‘Oh, Bringing in the German—that’s home for people. you’re working with brings something else to the right! This means something completely differ- And so that ties you into the meaning in a different table. As engaged musicians working on Bach, it way, I think.” ent.’ I love that.” is always going to be different. It’s not just techFor EMV’s Festive Cantatas: J.S. Bach Mag- nical, or that he brought his own spirituality to “What I think is magnificent about Bach’s work is how each of the lines is doing something very nificat, a collaboration between the Northwest it, or crafted so many things into such small mospecific,” says Sheehan, in a telephone interview Baroque Masterworks Project and the Pacific ments—it’s all of those things and more. He’s a from Portland, Oregon. “But as they come togeth- Baroque Orchestra, musical director Alexander musicians’ gift that keeps on giving.” er it creates this wonderful whole. Every note that Weimann presents a hybrid Magnificat based he wrote is important, not one is extraneous— on the more popular later version, but with the Festive Cantatas: J.S. Bach Magnificat is at the which is amazing when you consider how many Christmas texts reinserted. “The Magnificat is Chan Centre for the Performing Arts on Sunday like a condensed version of bigger works like the (December 18). notes he did write.”

THINGS TO DO

ARTS High five

Editor’s choice MIXED NUTS The Arts Umbrella’s dance program is taking the world by storm, feeding grads into some of the top contemporary companies in the world: Batsheva, Nederlands Dans Theater, and— yes, folks—our own Ballet BC. That’s why we always look forward to its fun yet edgy Mixed Nuts program—a new-styled holiday tradition that’s celebrating its 10th year. In it, cutting-edge and up-andcoming choreographers put their own twist on the pieces from The Nutcracker. This year boasts old favourites alongside new pieces by Kidd Pivot dancer Cindy Salgado, ex–NDT dancer Lesley Telford, and Ballet BC’s Racheal Prince, Gilbert Small, and Livona Ellis. Mixed Nuts is at the Vancouver Playhouse from Friday to Sunday (December 16 to 18).

Five events you just can’t miss this week

GOH BALLET NUTCRACKER (December 15 to 20 at the Centre in Vancouver) A lush, familyfriendly tradition that’s full of sweet surprises.

MUSIC FOR THE WINTER SOLSTICE (December 15 and 16 at Heritage Hall) Serene secular sounds and a new carol by the cool Nicole Lizée.

CHRISTMAS/CHOR LEONI (December 16 and 17 at St. Andrew’s-Wesley United Church) Men’s voices as warm as chestnuts by an open fire.

AVENUE Q (To December 31 at the Granville Island Stage) Hilariously inappropriate puppets will help you face holiday stress.

TIG NOTARO (December 14 at the Chan Centre for the Performing Arts) Postcancer, comedy’s wryest female standup is back in fine form.

In the news MORE LAUGHGETTERS A former Saturday Night Live–er and a guy best known for his five kids and Chrysler Pacifica ads join several new names just added to the JFL NorthWest comedy fest lineup. Jim Gaffigan (shown here), a Grammynominated comedian, actor, and New York Times best-selling author who often jokes about fatherhood, will appear at the Queen Elizabeth Theatre on February 24. That night and February 25, SNL alumnus and TV and movie regular Colin Quinn hits the Rio Theatre. Michelle Wolf, an on-air contributor and writer for Comedy Central’s The Daily Show With Trevor Noah, hits the Biltmore Cabaret as part of the fest on February 19. And standup star Todd Glass will bring the laughs from February 23 to 25 at Yuk Yuk’s. The full list of performers can be found at www.jflnorthwest.com/ and includes the already announced Sarah Silverman and Trevor Noah. Tickets go on sale at 10 a.m. on Friday (December 16). DECEMBER 15 – 22 / 2016 THE GEORGIA STRAIGHT 29

ARTS

The Gift They’ll Talk About for Years This holiday season, give your friends and family Shen Yun tickets that will amaze and inspire!

Music Man and Mary soar T HEAT RE

“Simply gorgeous stage magic! A must see!”

THE MUSIC MAN Book, music, and lyrics by Meredith Willson. Story by Meredith Willson and Frank Lacey. Directed by Barbara Tomasic. A Gateway Theatre production. At the Gateway Theatre on Friday, December 9. Continues until December 31

— Broadway World

“Exquisitely beautiful.

An extraordinary experience for us and the children.”

It’s big, brassy, and a whole lot fun. This beautifully executed production of The Music Man injects a warm shot of sunshine into our icy December. The play is set in 1912. Prof. Harold Hill, a notorious con man, blows into River City, Iowa, and convinces the townsfolk that the new pool table in the billiard hall will bring nothing but trouble. His solution? Get the kids to form a band! Never mind that Hill knows nothing about music; he has a revolutionary “think system” that will magically enable his charges to play. The mayor is skeptical, and he tasks the four members of the local school board with finding out Hill’s credentials, but Hill repeatedly distracts them by directing them to sing in harmony, a tactic that gradually transforms them from feuding bureaucrats into a giddy barbershop quartet. Even Marian Paroo, the prim librarian and music teacher who’s initially impervious to Hill’s charms, begins to soften. Director Barbara Tomasic and choreographer Suzanne Ouellette skillfully integrate the complex rhythms of Meredith Willson’s songs into the play’s action. In the show’s opener, “Rock Island”, a group of salesmen on a train repeat syncopated phrases while their bodies jiggle with the rocking of the rails. In the sinewy “Marian, the Librarian”, Marian’s checkout stamp becomes part of the percussion. And the big numbers, like “Seventy-Six Trombones” and “Shipoopi”, are a joyous riot of movement. There’s a lot to praise in this energetic cast of 26, which includes several children. Jay Hindle is a smooth-talking Hill, who fluidly manages the demands of his syllable-stuffed songs. Meghan Gardiner’s Marian is selfassured, but there’s a strand of tender vulnerability woven in there, and her ballads (“Goodnight, My Someone” and “Till There Was You”) showcase her gorgeous voice. Joel Garner as Mayor Shinn and Jennifer Long as his wife, Eulalie, also do strong work, and Chris Lam, as fellow con man Marcellus Washburn, impresses with his singing, dancing, and especially his wicked comic timing. The visuals are a treat: Marshall McMahen’s set uses handsomely painted backdrops that allow plenty of space for the pastel rainbow of Carmen Alatorre’s costumes. And there aren’t quite 76 trombones in the pit, but Christopher King’s tight 10-piece band fills the house all the same. Hill’s gift of harmony to River City ultimately proves to be more than a con job; it transforms him as well. A musical with a hopeful message? That’s a perfect gift for the holidays.

2 of

— Cate Cate Blanchett Blanchett, Academy Award–winning actress

ALL-NEW 2017 SHOW WITH LIVE ORCHESTRA MADE IN U.S.A. Queen Elizabeth Theatre JAN 29-31 Tickets: ShenYun.com/Van | 888-974-3698 Promo code: Pr A show you must see at least once in your life. Don’t miss it - book your seats EBVan17

Experience a Divine Culture Shen Yun brings a lost civilization to life with unrivaled mastery, using the richly expressive art of classical Chinese dance, groundbreaking musical compositions, and cutting-edge, interactive stage effects. Every movement, every musical note, makes this a stunning visual and emotional experience you won’t find anywhere else!

utstanding Production” “An O – THE VANCOUVER SUN

GOHNUTCRACKER.COM

SWEET SEATS FROM

$28!

> KATHLEEN OLIVER

MARY POPPINS

DECEMBER 15–20 PRINCIPAL DANCERS from the PACIFIC NORTHWEST BALLET LIVE MUSIC performed by THE VANCOUVER OPERA ORCHESTRA

THE CENTRE IN VANCOUVER. 777 HOMER ST.

GohNutcracker.com OFFICIAL HOTEL

PRODUCTION TITLE SPONSOR

*Not inclusive of service and facility fees. Casting subject to changes. Presenting host: Goh Ballet Vancouver Society.

30 THE GEORGIA STRAIGHT DECEMBER 15 – 22 / 2016

A musical based on the stories of P.L. Travers and the Walt Disney film. Original music and lyrics by Richard M. Sherman and Robert B. Sherman. Book by Julian Fellowes. New songs and additional music and lyrics by George Stiles and Anthony Drewe. Directed by Bill Millerd. At the Stanley Industrial Alliance Stage on Sunday, December 11. Continues until January 1

Stepping into the role of Mary

2 Poppins is never an easy task.

There’s the expectation to match or at least come close to reaching the standards of Julie Andrews. But in the Arts Club’s current remount of Disney’s Mary Poppins, actress Kayla James also had the challenge of living up to SaraJeanne Hosie’s acclaimed performances from previous seasons. Fortunately for audiences this holiday season,

Meghan Gardiner and Jay Hindle are part of a strong cast in The Music Man, the story of a con man who charms an entire town. David Cooper photo.

James is phenomenal as the iconic English nanny who flies through the sky with her umbrella and changes lives one household at a time. James’s impeccable vocal delivery and dance ability (right down to each finger movement) all scream Disney. And that’s really the point. The show’s story, which of course closely resembles that of the 1964 film, isn’t genius or groundbreaking. The story of an overworked banker detached from his family, who eventually realizes what matters most in life, is about as deep as the many Hallmark movies you can find on Netflix. But the show radiates Disney’s trademark sentimental qualities, and at this time of the year, that’s the stuff many audiences crave. Thus, when James gracefully carries herself across the stage, singing and dancing her way through “Practically Perfect” and “A Spoonful of Sugar”, you can bet she’s captivating a number of children and adults alike. James has a commanding presence right from the start, when she abruptly appears in the Banks family home. Her stern eyes and authoritative speech as she checks off her credentials against young Jane and Michael’s ideal-nanny list would make it difficult for anyone to challenge her. But she balances this hard persona with her softer side in numbers such as “Anything Can Happen”. And if that isn’t enough, James also tap-dances her way through “Step in Time”, proving she is a triple threat not to be messed with. The show is visually a dream. Alison Green’s set design brings memorable locales from the film to life through a series of gorgeous backdrops and scrims as well as slick, well-timed moving set pieces. Green’s use of pastel colours and fine details, combined with Marsha Sibthorpe’s lighting, transforms the Stanley stage into one of Thomas Kinkade’s glowing larger-than-life Disney portraits. Despite the dated story line, which is set in early-20th-century London, Caitriona Murphy’s performance as the children’s mother, Winifred Banks, who fights to gain an identity outside of being the wife of George Banks, will hit an emotional chord with audiences. Her compelling rendition of “Being Mrs. Banks” is memorable. Also noteworthy is Valerie Easton’s choreography, which includes delightful soft-shoe and balletinspired movement in “Jolly Holiday” and high-energy fun in “Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious” and the showstopping “Step in Time”, which features some impressive tap-dancing. Easton’s troupe of hoofers (such as Scott Augustine as the Gene Kelly–like statue come to life, Neleus; the acrobatic Keiran Bohay, who tumbles while chimney-sweeping; and the balletic Brianne Loop, who extends her legs to the heavens while

posing as a Greek-mythology statue) helps makes this production a rousing piece of musical-theatre spectacle.

> VINCE KANASOOT

THE SANTALAND DIARIES By David Sedaris. Adapted by Joe Mantello. Directed by Bill Allman and Alan Marriott. Produced by GTI Theatrical Productions Society. At Presentation House Theatre on Friday, December 9. Continues until December 17

The SantaLand Diaries is adapt-

2 ed from the 1992 radio essay

that launched David Sedaris’s career, with the trademark we’ve come to associate with the famed writer: sharply observed and blisteringly funny commentary that’s nuanced and self-aware, perfectly balanced between self-deprecating and self-aggrandizing. Sedaris’s humour can be cutting, but it’s almost always grounded in warmth, or at least charm. The same cannot be said about Presentation House Theatre’s production of The SantaLand Diaries. In fact, in the hands of the wrong actor, The SantaLand Diaries can be a sort of angry, mostly joyless, frustrating experience—probably much like the job that inspired this piece. Based on Sedaris’s experience of working one Christmas as an elf named Crumpet at Macy’s SantaLand, the play is supposed to be a one-man show. Actor and codirector Alan Marriott’s task is a sizable one: there’s a tremendous amount of dialogue and the delivery has to be perfect. But throughout the almost 90 minutes, Marriott seemed to be on a near-endless search for the right words, stumbling over sentences and occasionally mispronouncing words. Marriott’s decision to mimic Sedaris’s speaking voice seemed fun at first, but it quickly turned hollow when he couldn’t land the jokes. Thankfully, Marriott and his codirector, Bill Allman, added SandraMae Luykx into the mix, playing a variety of supporting roles (parents, children, coworkers, et cetera). Luykx, for the most part, is a genuinely great addition—except when she’s tasked with doing accents (Chinese, Latino, et cetera) that are mostly just racist stereotypes. It’s 2016. Stop it. A final baffling moment comes at the very end of the production. The last scene is a nice, twisty plot pivot into sentimentality and sweetness, and Marriott is never better than in these few minutes. The joke that’s supposed to follow this “meaning of Christmas” moment is a jarring, swear-filled few lines by Luykx, a perfect shredded ribbon to tie up the whole twisted tale. But instead of letting the joke get the reaction it deserves, the actors fuss with a big decorated set piece for 15 seconds, and then pose in front of that to signal the show is over. And, frankly, not a moment too soon. > ANDREA WARNER

ARTS

Former VSO concertmaster Mark Fewer is back in town to perform The Four Seasons, adding several other complementary pieces to the program.

Fewer seasons Vivaldi piece with extra spice > BY A LEX A NDER VA R TY

illions of words have been written about Antonio Vivaldi’s evergreen The Four Seasons, and we’re not about to add to the pile—except to note that former Vancouver Symphony Orchestra concertmaster Mark Fewer will be back in town to perform the suite this week. If you want to experience spring, summer, autumn, and winter in a single night, this—not hearing it as restaurant music, excerpted in a Hollywood soundtrack, or hissing tinnily through your portable communications device—is the way to go. Making Friday and Saturday’s concerts—in which Fewer will be joined by a chamber ensemble made up of the VSO’s most baroque-savvy musicians—even more appealing is that the first part of the program incorporates several plot lines, musical and social. The presence of Johann Sebastian Bach’s Concerto in C Minor for Violin and Oboe, for instance, offers the violinist a chance to settle an old debt owed to the VSO’s principal oboist Roger Cole. “The last time I played that Bach double with the VSO, I did a version with two violins rather than violin and oboe, and Roger never let me forget it,” Fewer explains in a telephone interview from his office at Montreal’s McGill University. “So in some ways this is a bit of payback, but I’m also looking forward to it immensely.” Why, he notes, is an easy question to answer: in addition to being a stalwart of the VSO, the veteran Cole has an unusually “big voice” on an instrument that, in lesser hands, can sound undeniably piercing. “What I mean is that some people, when they play an instrument like violin or oboe or piano, they sound like an instrumentalist,” Fewer observes. “In other words, they sound like they’re playing an instrument. Other people play their instrument just as a very natural extension of the human voice, and Roger is definitely that. He’s a big-hearted player, and every note that comes out of his oboe sounds like it’s coming from his own inner voice. I love that about him.”

Fewer also intends to expose Vivaldi’s many fans to the music of the great Italian’s German predecessor, Heinrich Ignaz Franz Biber. And to do so he’s chosen a typically eccentric work, which, rather than chart the year in sound, will take listeners into the thick of a battle in progress, complete with musket fire and the clash of swords. What makes Battalia even more significant, musicologically, is that Biber beat the legendary Charles Ives to the polytonal punch by more than two centuries, pitting discordant folk melodies against each other in much the same way Ives would later use multiple marching bands. “It is Ivesian, there’s no question about that,” Fewer says. “Biber is a person who didn’t really get much exposure, except in the early-music community, until maybe about 15, 20 years ago. There were some really great recordings that came out, particularly by the Italian group Il Giardino Armonico, with a wonderful violinist named Enrico Onofre. He, through the Teldec label, kind of brought Biber to the masses, and I’m thankful he did. “I didn’t know very much about Biber, but through those recordings I started to get very interested in his voice,” he continues. “He has probably the most unique output for violin—specifically, a set of sonatas called the Rosary Sonatas, or sometimes the Mystery Sonatas, and they all use some variety of scordatura [alternative tuning]. If you were to try to play all 15 of those sonatas, you would need at least seven violins at the ready, to go back and forth on. And with his use of chaos—which is what you’ll hear in the Battalia—he was the only guy out there to go that far with it, that level of ingenuity and creativity.” Fewer’s decision to open his concerts with Biber’s battle no doubt reflects his belief that great music is timeless—whether it speaks of the bloody madness of war or the seasonal cycle of birth, life, death, and rebirth that Vivaldi limned so well. The Vancouver Symphony Orchestra presents Vivaldi’s Four Seasons With Mark Fewer at the Chan Centre for the Performing Arts on Friday and Saturday (December 16 and 17).

23RD ANNUAL

Saturday/Sunday, December 17 & 18 Heritage Hall, 3102 Main @ 15th Ave. 50+ vendors Hours: Sat/Sun 11 am - 5 pm $3-5 door donation to Vancouver Folk Music Festival Society See www.soundsandfuries.com/faire “A taste of BC’s nest Women Artisans” DECEMBER 15 – 22 / 2016 THE GEORGIA STRAIGHT 31

ARTS

Erick Lichte

CHOR LEONI/MEN’S CHOIR

ARTISTIC DIRECTOR

Albatross whips up storm of images and movement DANCE ALBATROSS

CHRISTMAS/CHOR LEONI December 16 & 17, 2016 | 4:30pm & 8pm ST ANDREW’S-WESLEY UNITED CHURCH 1022 NELSON ST AT BURRARD, VANCOUVER

December 18, 2016 | 4:30pm OUT!

N SOLD WEST VANCOUVER CHURCH WEST VAUNITED 2062 ESQUIMALT AVE, WEST VANCOUVER

SECTION A $45 | SECTION B $35 | SECTION C $30 | STUDENTS $10

ticketstonight.ca | 1.877.840.0457

chorleoni.org

A Company 605 production. At the Firehall Arts Centre on Thursday, December 8. No remaining performances

The blizzard didn’t materialize

2 as early as forecast on Thursday

evening, but despite the frigid calm outside, there was definitely a fullblown storm happening inside the Firehall Arts Centre. Rarely has partnering been as intense as it was between dancers Josh Martin and Hilary Maxwell, who hurtled around the stage in countless tortured combinations. It was European innovator German Jauregui who moulded their bodies into this highspeed, ever-shifting game of perpetual contact and motion. In one extended sequence, they writhed and wrestled while clamping their palms over each other’s eyes. Hands and limbs tangled and grasped, and the dancers pushed, swung, hurled, and rolled each other through space. It was movement as violent as it was complex—a physical feat by any measure. That intensity, set to Stefan Smulovitz’s driving electronic score, was so unrelenting that it eventually sent viewers into a hypnotic space where it was hard to take in more. The oddest effect of the partnering, though, was the interaction between the two dancers, a chemistry that came off as far more combative and athletic than human or compassionate. This may have entirely been the point, but the tone gives Albatross a hardness. And it’s difficult to emotionally engage with it. Still, it would be a mistake to suggest the work is all about physical wizardry. Albatross was bookended by surreal dance-theatre sequences. The opening moment was stunning,

GROUNDBREAKING PERFORMANCES FROM AROUND THE WORLD!

New website coming soon!

Watch this space.

@vancivictheatres 32 THE GEORGIA STRAIGHT DECEMBER 15 – 22 / 2016

the white-plastic stage floor bathed in a swaying, projected-video forest; the mound in the centre turned out to be Maxwell, who slid out from beneath the plastic sheet to enact a strange ritual we can only tell you involved hypodermic needles and a blindfold. Martin’s entry was equally arresting, the Company 605 co–artistic director backing in toward us, falling over and over as he moved. The end sequence brought another bizarre ritual, this time with chalk and a bowl of milk. Finally freed of his partner, Martin made a dramatic exit out the back door of the Firehall—leaving behind a blast of the wintry air and a serene view of the courtyard tree. So what did it all mean? In his program notes, Brusselsbased Jauregui insists “silence is the only place from where we can approach theatre.” That means no explanations, no talk of themes. We do know from a Straight preview of a rehearsal that it was originally inspired by a Renaissance painting called The Expulsion From Paradise, depicting Adam and Eve’s fall from grace. And there is a sense of inescapable togetherness and torment between these two incredible dancers that that painting suggests. The title, Albatross, also denotes a struggle with burden—and you wonder, when the pair finally unglue themselves from one another, whether one person embodies that weight, or whether they are the albatross to each other. Martin, whose head Maxwell seems to lull into death with her thigh near the end of the work, certainly looks freer and less tortured leaving through that door than he does entering. Either way, this blast of Euro avant-garde—another bold move from the folks at 605—was as bracing as that wind bringing in the Arctic front.

> JANET SMITH

straight choices

ar ts/ timeout THEATRE DANCE MUSIC COMEDY ET CETERA GALLERIES MUSEUMS

< < < < < < <

THEATRE 2ONGOING BAH! HUMBUG! Canadian musician Jim Byrnes stars in the seventh annual retelling of Charles Dickens’s classic tale A Christmas Carol. Dec 14-17, SFU Goldcorp Centre for the Arts (149 W. Hastings). Tix $29/15, info www.sfu.ca/sfuwoodwards/events/ events1/2016-2017-fall/BahHumbug.html. AVENUE Q The Arts Club Theatre Company presents the musical story of Princeton, a bright-eyed college graduate who arrives in New York City looking for love, a job, and his purpose in life. To Dec 31, Granville Island Stage (1585 Johnston, Granville Island). Tix from $29, info www.artsclub.com/. EAST VAN PANTO: LITTLE RED RIDING HOOD Theatre Replacement presents a pantomime in which Little Red Riding Hood bombs down the Adanac bike trail to deliver a basket of goodies to her granny, while battling bike thieves, distracted drivers, and the Big Bad Wolf. To Dec 31, York Theatre (639 Commercial). Tix from $20, info www.thecultch.com/events/ an-east-van-panto-little-red-riding-hood/. A CHARLIE BROWN CHRISTMAS Carousel Theatre for Young People presents a stage adaptation of the holiday classic. Includes live music by a jazz trio. To Dec 31, Waterfront Theatre (1412 Cartwright St., Granville Island). Tix $35/29/18, info www.carouseltheatre.ca/ production/a-charlie-brown-christmas/. THE DAY BEFORE CHRISTMAS The Arts Club Theatre Company presents the premiere of a play by Stacey Kaser and Alison Kelly about a perfectionist who is desperately juggling family and work as she attempts to create the perfect Christmas. To Dec 24, Goldcorp Stage at the BMO Theatre Centre (162 W. 1st). Tix from $29, info www.artsclub.com/. HOLY MO! A CHRISTMAS SHOW! Pacific Theatre presents director Kerry van der Griend’s irreverent re-imagining of the Nativity story. To Dec 31, 8-10 pm, Pacific Theatre (1440 W. 12th). Tix $34.95, info www. pacifictheatre.org/season/2016-2017-season/ mainstage/holy-mo-a-christmas-show/. JACOB MARLEY’S CHRISTMAS CAROL Four actors bring to life the characters of Charles Dickens’s classic Christmas tale. Appropriate for ages five and up. To Dec 18, Jericho Arts Centre (1675 Discovery). Tix $20-25, info www.facebook.com/ jacobmarley2016/. MARY POPPINS The Arts Club Theatre Company presents a musical based on the stories of P.L. Travers and the

straight choices

ALL IS CALM For 14 years, harried shoppers have been escaping downtown’s mall madness to a serene matinee choral concert in one of the area’s most gorgeous churches. The show is the Christmas Reprise, featuring the Vancouver Cantata Singers, now under artistic director Paula Kremer. It’s a chance to both get nostalgic over favourite carols and discover some lesser-known seasonal works—all performed with the ensemble’s usual sharp technique. Deke into the heavenly afternoon of song at 2 p.m. on Saturday (December 17) at Holy Rosary Cathedral. The choir performs again, in the evening, on Wednesday (December 21) at the Anvil Centre in New Westminster.

LIONS IN WINTER How popular are Chor Leoni’s annual Christmas concerts? Well, word is that you won’t be able to hear the choral lions in West Vancouver: their Sunday (December 18) show is sold out. Despair not, however. The immaculately skilled men’s choir still has four downtown performances on the market, with afternoon and evening servings at St. Andrew’s–Wesley United Church on Friday and Saturday (December 16 and 17). Amid the offerings, look for exquisite pieces by composers with close ties to the choir, including Terre Roche’s “Star of Wonder” and Eˉriks Ešenvalds’s “Stars”. Comfort, joy, familiar favourites, new creations, and dark-chocolate harmonies will be plentiful—but act now, before the inevitable last-minute holiday rush. Walt Disney film. Includes songs like “A Spoonful of Sugar” and “Chim Chim Cheree”. To Jan 1, Stanley Industrial Alliance Stage (2750 Granville). Tix from $29, info www.artsclub.com/.

THE SANTALAND DIARIES GTI Theatrical Productions Society presents David Sedaris’s holiday comedy about his time as one of Macy’s department store Christmas elves. To Dec 17, Presentation House Theatre (333 Chesterfield Ave.). Tix $25/20, info www.phtheatre.org/show/ the-santaland-diaries/.

DANCE 2THIS WEEK AFTER THE FALL A mixed program of new works by Julianne Chapple, Peter Bingham, and Shay Kuebler. Dec 14 & 16-17, 8 pm, EDAM Studio Theatre (303 E. 8th). Tix $15, info www.edamdance.org/. THE NUTCRACKER Goh Ballet presents the holiday dance classic, with principal dancers from the National Ballet of Canada and live music by the Vancouver Opera Orchestra. Dec 15-20, The Centre in Vancouver for Performing Arts (777 Homer). Tix from $28, info www.gohnutcracker.com/. MIXED NUTS, TRADITION WITH A TWIST Arts Umbrella Dance Company presents a modern and engaging retelling of Tchaikovsky’s masterpiece The Nutcracker. Dec 16-18, Vancouver Playhouse Recital Hall (601 Cambie). Tix $15-25, info www.artsumbrella.com/dance/.

MUSIC 2THIS WEEK A TOUCH OF BRASS QUINTET Music in the Morning presents the Vancouver ensemble in a program of traditional brass music and holiday tunes. Dec 14-16, 10:30-11:30 am, Vancouver Academy of Music (1270 Chestnut). $38/35/17, info www.musicinthemorning.org/.

! On now ws 10 sho only!

THE FIRST OH WELL The East Van Choir Collective presents new arrangements of rock songs by Kurt Vile, Joni Mitchell, My Brightest Diamond, the Kinks, and the Cars. Dec 15, 7 pm, Rickshaw Theatre (254 E. Hastings). Tix $15, info www.rickshaw theatre.com/. CHRISTMAS/CHOR LEONI Chor Leoni Men’s Choir presents new choral works, fun twists on well-known favourites, and sing-along carols. Dec 16-17, St. Andrew’s– Wesley United Church (1022 Nelson). Tix $30-45, info www.chorleoni.org/concertsevents/events/christmaschor-leoni/. JOY TO THE WORLD Musica intima presents a holiday concert featuring Canadian Christmas pieces, contemporary works for ensemble and organ, and audience sing-along carols. Dec 16, 7:30 pm, Christ Church Cathedral (690 Burrard). Tix $30/25/15, info www.musicaintima.org/. THE CHRISTMAS STORY: CAROLS AND READINGS OF THE SEASON Kevin Zakresky and Fiona Blackburn conduct the Vancouver Chamber Choir and the British Columbia Girls Choir in a holiday concert of seasonal music. Dec 16, 8-10 pm, Ryerson United Church (2195 W. 45th). Tix $10-33, info www.vancouver chamberchoir.com/. VIVALDI’S FOUR SEASONS Violinist Mark Fewer, oboist Roger Cole, and the VSO perform Biber’s Battalia, Bach’s Concerto in C Minor for Violin and Oboe, and Vivaldi’s Il grosso Mogul and The Four Seasons. Dec 16-17, 8 pm, Chan Centre for the Performing Arts (6265 Crescent Rd., UBC). Info www.vancouversymphony.ca/. FESTIVE CANTATAS: J.S. BACH MAGNIFICAT Early Music Vancouver and the Pacific Baroque Orchestra present J.S. Bach’s masterpiece,

see next page

Providing for the care and rehabilitation of injured, orphaned, and pollution damaged wildlife.

www.wildliferescue.ca DECEMBER 15 – 22 / 2016 THE GEORGIA STRAIGHT 33

on the web!

For up-to-the-minute, searchable Arts listings on your phone, visit

www.straight.com

TOP TALENT SHOWCASE EVERY TUES AT 8:00

PRO-AM NIGHT

EVERY WEDS AT 8:00

FEATURED HEADLINERS THURS & FRI AT 8:00 SAT AT 7:00 & 9:30 THIS WEEKEND FEATURING (DEC 15-17)

COMEDY 2ONGOING THE COMEDY MIX 1015 Burrard, Century Plaza Hotel & Spa, 604-684-5050, www.thecomedymix.com/. 2PETE JOHANSSON Dec 15-17 2NYE TRIPLE HEADER Dec 31 2BRENT MORIN Jan 12-14 2SCOTT THOMPSON Jan 26-28 2NIKKI GLAZER Feb 3-4 2BRIAN POSEHN Feb 16-18 2JON DORE Feb 24-25 YUK YUK’S COMEDY CLUB 2837 Cambie, 604-696-9857, www.yukyuks.com/vancouver. Comedy club with Top Talent Tue at 8 pm,

LORI GIBBS www.yukyuks.com

The Diabetes Research Foundation call Toll Free 1.877 CURE 533

2837 Cambie (at 12th)

+ + + + + JOSHUA ROTHKOPF ‒ TIME OUT NEW YORK

“NATALIE PORTMAN WILL FLOOR YOU WITH HER TOUR DE FORCE PERFORMANCE.” PETER TRAVERS ‒ ROLLING STONE

“ONE OF THE MOST ASTOUNDING FEATS OF BIOGRAPHICAL REIMAGINING IN MODERN CINEMA.” BEN DICKINSON ‒ ELLE

straight choices RISING VOICES The Vancouver Chamber Choir artfully combines seasonal choral music and readings in The Christmas Story—and mixes up roles a bit. Usual maestro Jon Washburn will be reading the texts while Kevin Zakresky conducts, with a cameo appearance by the British Columbia Girls Choir and its director, Fiona Blackburn. The carols on offer span a gorgeous range, from the ethereal “Carol of the Bells” to the haunting “O magnum mysterium”. Old mixes with new, too, with contemporary pieces like Jean Coulthard’s “Polish Lullaby” on the program. The show takes place on Friday (December 16) at Ryerson United Church.

VANCOUVER THEATRESPORTS LEAGUE Christmas Queen 3 (Wed, Thu, Fri, and Sat, 7:30 pm); Firecracker! (Wed, 9:15 pm); Improv After Dark (Wed, Thu, Fri, and Sat, 11:15 pm); OK Tinder (Thu, 9:15 pm); Rookie Night (Sun, 7:30 pm); TheatreSports (Fri and Sat, 9:30 pm). Dec 14-21, The Improv Centre (1502 Duranleau, Granville Island). Info www.vtsl.com/.

2THIS WEEK IMPROV AGAINST HUMANITY: HO HO HOLIDAY SPECIAL The Fictionals present a Yuletide-themed edition of the improv show based on cult-hit card game Cards Against Humanity. Dec 21, 8-10:30 pm, Rio Theatre (1660 E. Broadway). Tix $10, info www.thefictionals.com/.

TORUK: THE FIRST FLIGHT Cirque du Soleil presents a new show inspired by the world of James Cameron’s hit film Avatar. Dec 13-18, Pacific Coliseum (Hastings Park, 100 N. Renfrew). Tix at www.ticketleader.ca/.

ET CETERA

GALLERIES

2THIS WEEK

VANCOUVER ART GALLERY 750 Hornby, 604-662-4719, www.vanartgallery. bc.ca/. 2WALKER EVANS: DEPTH OF FIELD (exhibition features more than 200 black-and-white and colour prints from the 1920s through to the 1970s) to Jan 22 2JUXTAPOZ X SUPERFLAT (exhibition offers a unique insight into contemporary art and its place in cultural life) to Feb 5

CHRISTMAS PRESENCE Pacific Theatre presents a night of music, stories, poems, and readings for the holiday season. To Dec 20, 2-8 pm, Pacific Theatre (1440 W. 12th). Tix $34.95, info www.pacifictheatre. org/season/2016-2017-season/mainstage/ christmas-presence-2016/.

MUSEUMS THE MUSEUM OF ANTHROPOLOGY AT UBC 6393 NW Marine Drive, www. moa.ubc.ca/. 2LAYERS OF INFLUENCE: UNFOLDING CLOTH ACROSS CULTURES (exhibition features more than 130 diverse cultural garments, from Japanese kimonos, to colourful Indian saris) to Apr 9

TIME OUT ARTS LISTINGS are a public service provided free of charge, based on available space and editorial discretion. Submit listings online using the event-submission form at straight.com/AddEvent. Events that don’t make it into the paper due to space constraints will appear on the website.

GOLDEN GLOBE BEST PICTURE

N O M I N A T I O N S

BEST ACTOR

(DRAMA)

from previous page

Telemann’s Concerto for Three Trumpets in D Major, and Bach’s Cantata 140. Dec 18, 3 pm, Chan Centre for the Performing Arts (6265 Crescent Rd., UBC). Tix from $18, info www.earlymusic.bc.ca/events/ festive-cantatas-j-s-bach-magnificat/.

amateur night Wed at 8 pm. Cover Tue $10, Wed $7, Thu $10, and Fri-Sat $20. 2LORI GIBBS Dec 15-17

(DRAMA)

Wanna Yuk?

Arts time out

CASEY AFFLECK

BEST SUPPORTING ACTRESS MICHELLE WILLIAMS BEST DIRECTOR KENNETH LONERGAN BEST ORIGINAL SCREENPLAY KENNETH LONERGAN

WINNER

C R I T I C S ’ C H O I C E AWA R D S

BEST ACTOR CASEY AFFLECK BEST ORIGINAL SCREENPLAY

KENNETH LONERGAN

BEST YOUNG PERFORMER

LUCAS HEDGES

“++++

THE BEST FILM OF THE YEAR!” N

“++++ ENGRAVE THE NAME CASEY AFFLECK ON THE OSCAR® FOR BEST ACTOR, SO EXTRAORDINARY AND ENGULFING IS HIS PERFORMANCE.”

++++ ++++ ++++ WINNER BEST ACTOR

CASEY AFFLECK G O T H A M AWA R D

5 BEST FEATURE SPIRIT AWARD NOMINATIONS INCLUDING

BEST MALE LEAD

CASEY AFFLECK

BEST SUPPORTING MALE

LUCAS HEDGES BEST SCREENPLAY

KENNETH LONERGAN

97% *AS OF 12/12/16

CASEY

AFFLECK DIREC T ED BY PA BL O L A RR A ÍN

MICHELLE

KYLE

WILLIAMS CHANDLER A PICTURE BY KENNETH LONERGAN

AND

LUCAS

HEDGES

W RIT T EN BY NOA H OPPENHEIM

VIOLENCE

J A C K I E T H E F I L M.C O M

EXCLUSIVE ENGAGEMENT STARTS FRIDAY, DECEMBER 16

FIFTH AVENUE

Check theatre directory or go to www.tribute.ca for showtimes

34 THE GEORGIA STRAIGHT DECEMBER 15 – 22 / 2016

NOW PLAYING!

FIFTH AVENUE 2110 Burrard St. ´ 604-734-7469

CINEPLEX ENTERTAINMENT

88 WEST PENDER • 604-806-0799

OPENS CINEPLEX CINEMAS FRIDAY!

LANGLEY

#20090, 91A Avenue • 604-513-8747

CINEPLEX ENTERTAINMENT

SILVERCITY COQUITLAM 170 Schoolhouse Street • 604-523-2911

CINEPLEX ENTERTAINMENT

PARK & TILFORD 200-333 Brooksbank Ave. • 604-985-4215

MOVIES REVIEWS ENDLESS POETRY Starring Adan Jodorowsky. In Spanish and French, with English subtitles. Rating unavailable

Beginning exactly where 2013’s The Dance of

2 Reality left us—on that mist-shrouded boat—

Alejandro Jodorowsky extends his autobiographical meditation into early adulthood and further still into a crowning, late-in-life achievement. Jodorowsky’s son Adan plays the filmmakermystic as a young man, acting against his half brother Brontis, who returns in his role as their grandfather. Father-son conflict, not surprisingly, is the big theme inside this mischievously conceived knot of shared DNA and divided souls. The older man rails violently against his “faggot” son when he catches Alejandro secretly reading Lorca, but the entire two hours of Endless Poetry is ultimately an empathic and grateful gesture toward a

Even giants started small

Filmmaker-mystic Alejandro Jodorowsky (played by his son, Adan) falls in with Santiago’s postwar bohemian crowd in the autobiographical Endless Poetry.

Kennedy’s shocking assassination, on November 22, 1963, ushered in a decade of wounded bully. The title is apt, not only because of war, riots, and targeted killings of politicians and the film’s fluid panorama of dazzling imagery, but civil-rights leaders, from which the nation has because it’s explicitly about Jodorowsky’s rebellion- never really recovered. It also capped a period of hope, represented by by-poetry as a youth in postwar Santiago, where he variously encounters real-life figures including Kennedy and his beautiful young wife, Jacqueline Nicanor Parra, Enrique Lihn, and Stella Diaz Varín Bouvier. Jackie finds fine-boned Natalie Portman playing the broad-featured First Lady, caught in the within the city’s bohemian subculture. Doing double duty as Varín and, again, as Ale- immediate aftermath of her husband’s death. She jandro’s mother, the remarkably unselfconscious gives a commanding performance, even if it somePamela Flores almost steals the picture as the times rings as a child’s well-studied attempt at wearflame-haired, ball-busting poetess (with a killer ing Mother’s finest—with just the right amount of right hook) who offers her much-desired ass to debutante breathiness. The film suggests that Jackie herself believed the blossoming artist. Jodorowsky’s conflation of these two figures (his mother delivers all of her in the myth of Camelot; she plays the LP soundlines as opera once again, by the way) should give track to the then-popular musical while waltzyou some idea of the octogenarian filmmaker’s ing around the big house she’ll soon have to preference for Freudian symbolism that’s maybe vacate. That’s one of several on-the-nose touches heavy-handed and definitely old-fashioned. This marring a mostly thoughtful script by TV-news is the kind of movie in which a clown might wan- veteran Noah Oppenheim. He built the tale’s der into the frame with a beneficent smile, con- architecture around several recorded interveniently bearing the balloons that Alejandro can views, including Jackie’s famously gracious CBS tour of the White House, neatly reenacted here, use to launch his mother’s corset into the sky. It’s also strangely comforting (and never bor- with Greta Gerwig as an assistant displaying ing) to watch this extraordinary man unload a unexplained closeness. Later, Jackie must cope with the rapid acceslifetime’s worth of private symbology onto the screen, often with inspired and offbeat humour sion of Vice-President Lyndon Johnson. (John (the entire population of an old folks’ home Carroll Lynch is thrown away here, but Beth groans in unison as Alejandro tiptoes through Grant is a dead ringer for Lady Bird Johnson.) its halls), at other times—as in a scene of ritual And there’s a big tussle over her wishes for a big, menstrual sex with a “dwarf”—to inexplicably public funeral, with that cause championed by warm and moving effect. These charged images brother-in-law Bobby, played by slightly miscast of cruelty, carnality, ecstasy, and, finally, recon- Peter Sarsgaard. This decision is questioned by ciliation become even more vivid in the hands an unnamed journalist (a Brylcreemed Billy of Wong Kar-Wai’s favourite cinematographer, Crudup), grilling Jackie soon after her retreat Christopher Doyle, as Endless Poetry dances be- to Hyannis Port. The brittle, adversarial tone of guilingly toward a climax as cathartic and mov- their exchange helps drive the “story”, even if it wholly contradicts the tone of the Life magazine ing as its predecessor’s. Fans will weep. > ADRIAN MACK piece that was produced in reality, written by trusted family friend and JFK’s official biogJACKIE rapher, Theodore H. White. More troubling is the decision by Chilean dirStarring Natalie Portman. Rated 14A ector Pablo Lorrain (who made Neruda and No) Just in time for the worst moment in U.S. to chop up his beautifully shot material—itself presidential history comes this stylish look artfully blended with period footage—into a long, back at when things went terribly wrong. John F. fragmented montage that eschews chronology to

Delightful Endless Poetry looks back at an artist’s birth; American history gets zinged again in fragmented Jackie

little narrative advantage. How about just telling the story straight, while we still can?

> KEN EISNER

A MAN CALLED OVE Starring Rolf Lassgård. In Swedish, with English subtitles. Rating unavailable

From Sweden, with grouchiness, comes a

2 culture-clash comedy that tries a little too

hard to please the back rows. This overstuffed adaptation of a popular Swedish novel boasts a memorable lead job from Rolf Lassgård, whom arthousegoers will recognize from After the Wedding and other Swedish and Danish outings. Underneath the aging makeup, he plays grumpy old Ove, who looks back on his better years with the help of colourful, time-jumping flashbacks. The dude fills his days enforcing the fine-print rules of his suburban housing co-op, when not exploring different ways to kill himself, and failing. For one thing, the rowdy, mixed-ethnicity family who just moved in next door keep interrupting him. And then there are all those memories to remind him of how good he used to have it—that is, until something just awful would happen. Does thinking about lost love keep him alive or make it easier to go? Compared with some of the other Scando comedies that have come our way recently, Ove hits one darkly farcical note too insistently—think Latin American magic realism, but with snow and meatballs. And the parade of disasters is more predictable than funny or heartwarming. For one thing, pitting him against “white shirts”, as our antihero calls faceless bureaucratic villains, is pretty obvious stuff from veteran director Hannes Holm, scripting from Fredrik Backman’s whimsical book. On the other hand, the movie entertains well enough when sticking to character shtick and neighbourhood atmosphere, both repped by the running rivalry between Ove and his lifelong neighbour (Börje Lundberg) and their respective automotive loyalties to Saab and Volvo—tested, like everything else, by the ups and downs of unavoidable globalization.

If the job of compiling the best films should be handed to anyone, it’s probably our friends at the Vancouver International Film Centre. And voilà! Beginning Monday (December 19) with Whit Stillman’s Love & Friendship and running until January 1, the Vancity Theatre caps another year at the movies with 20 prize arguments for the continued health of big-screen storytelling. Here’s the lineup, with a few choice comments of our own:

EYE IN THE SKY (U.K./South Africa) “By the time we reach the inevitable climax, we’ve been put through a gut-wrenching emotional war. It turns out to be as exhausting as it is illuminating.” December 21 (1:45 p.m.) > JOHN

2 year’s

LEKICH

SON OF SAUL (Hungary) “[Dir-

ector László Nemes] uses a masterful sense of restraint as a kind of narrative veil, letting the unbearable tragedy seep through in measured, if undeniably potent, doses. The result makes it possible to watch the unwatchable.” December 21 (6 p.m.) > JL

LOVE

> KEN EISNER

Zoey Deutch and Blake Jenner definitely want some in writer-director Richard Linklater’s warmly nostalgic Everybody Wants Some!! SING STREET (Ireland) “A for-

mer bass player for the Frames, writer-director John Carney… is on surer ground in Sing

see next page

☞

VA NC ITY ’S BEST OF 2016 >>>

& FRIENDSHIP (USA) “The sardonically titled Love & Friendship gives us a delightfully detestable villain in [Kate] Beckinsale’s career high, as Lady Susan Vernon.…[Its] burnished cinematography and elegant performances offer a droll soulfulness that embodies everything we still love, and like, about Jane Austen.” December 19 (1:45 p.m.)

> KEN EISNER

Street, with his own Irish upbringing viewed through wishfulfillment goggles.” December 20 (1:45 p.m.) > KE

SULLY (USA) Pilot Chesley Sullenberger saved 155 lives when he ditched an Airbus A320 in the Hudson River in 2009. Clint Eastwood has had a bumpy ride as a filmmaker, but he lands this tense portrait with equivalent craft and skill. December 22 (1:45 p.m.) > KE

THE MERMAID (China) “Splash meets The Cove in this genuinely strange and ceaselessly entertaining box-office smash from China.…The film’s a weird treat, but please leave your tadpoles at home.” December 22 (5:30 p.m.); December 24 (3 p.m.) > KE HUNT FOR THE WILDERPEOPLE

(New Zealand) “[Writer-director Taika Waititi’s] approach reaches a crowd-pleasing peak in the tale of overweight Maori preteen Ricky Baker…shuttled between unfortunate foster homes before landing with an eccentric rural couple.…the movie’s intense charm, killer performances, and offbeat music—from Nina Simone to ’70s soft rock—make it a must-see for 2016.” December 23 (1:45 p.m.); December 31 (1 p.m.) > KE

MALIGLUTIT (THE SEARCHERS)

(Canada) “The plot…draws from the kidnapping quest at the heart of John Ford’s classic The Searchers. see next page

DECEMBER 15 – 22 / 2016 THE GEORGIA STRAIGHT 35

Movie reviews

from previous page

MISS SLOANE Starring Jessica Chastain. Rated PG

It turns out that 50 years of

2 progress can be wiped out in the

blink of an eye. Suddenly, weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re back to â&#x20AC;&#x153;Missâ&#x20AC;? for an unmarried womanâ&#x20AC;&#x201D; even one who is the epitome of Pantsuit Nation independence. That would be one Elizabeth Sloane, a Washington lobbyist played by Jessica Chastain with the steely resolve she brought to Zero Dark Thirty, only scarier. Sloane is the top shark for a venal lobbying crew led by Sam Waterstonâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s

eyebrows. Given her reputation for slithering unscrupulousness, everyone is surprised when she bolts after her company lands the beyond-lucrative gun lobby. Sheâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s then recruited by a smaller, more ethical outfit promoting very mild legislation requiring slightly more stringent background checks for gun buyers. This killer lobbyistâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s win-at-any-cost methods rankle her new boss (Englandâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Mark Strong, struggling with his American accent) and potential in-house pal (fellow Brit Gugu Mbatha-Raw, nailing hers). But theyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re impressed when she starts nudging Congress toward their side of the bill. In first-timer Jonathan Pereraâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s

(Shakespeare in Love and the Best Exotic Marigold Hotel movies), working with a top-flight cast, including Michael Stuhlbarg, Allison Pill, Dylan Baker, John Lithgow, and Christine Baranski. It all unfolds briskly, even at more than two hoursâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;mainly due to Chastainâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s utter convictionâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;although the tale canâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t quite decide whether to be a profound character study or a gotcha thriller, full of increasingly outlandish twists. Ultimately, the most preposterous things on view are the filmâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s illtimed assertions about ethics and perceived conflicts of interestâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;notions now as quaintly nostalgic in the American capital as an honorific like Ms.

generally clever script, her team (including many familiar Canadians, as this was shot in Toronto) spends roughly equal time discussing political arcana and the obvious. Like, what lobbyist doesnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t know it takes 60 senators to break a filibuster? The latter stuff is for the audience, which also expects an antihero like Sloane to have feet of clay, and here itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s a propensity to pop uppers, keep the company of paid escorts (as repped by Girlsâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; Midwestern hunk Jake Lacy), and use the people around her like pawns. Pereraâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s snappy dialogue aspires to Aaron Sorkinâ&#x20AC;&#x201C;type crackle, and almost gets there, thanks to vigorous direction by veteran John Madden

> KEN EISNER

1660 EAST BROADWAY @ COMMERCIAL MEDIA SPONSOR

NOW PLAYING!

DECEMBER 16 DECEMBER 17

/ KAMIKAZE â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;89

KONELINE our land beautiful SP Winner, Best Canadian Feature (Hot Docs, 2016) 'LUHFWRU 1HWWLH :LOG LQ DWWHQGDQFH IRU 4 $ 7KLV FLQHPDWLF SRHP LV VHW GHHS LQ WKH WUDGLWLRQDO WHUULWRU\ RI WKH 7DKOWDQ )LUVW 1DWLRQ DQG FDSWXUHV LWV EHDXW\ DQG FRPSOH[LW\ GRFXPHQWLQJ RQH RI &DQDGD V YDVW ZLOGHUQHVVHV DV LW XQGHUJRHV LUUHYRFDEOH FKDQJH

/ FASSBINDER: TO LOVE WITHOUT DEMANDS

DECEMBER 18 DECEMBER 19

LABYRINTH SP 7KH ODWH JUHDW David Bowie PDNHV PXVLF PDJLF DQG PLVFKLHI DV D *REOLQ .LQJ ZKR NLGQDSV D EDE\ ZKLOH WRUPHQWLQJ D \RXQJ Jennifer Connelly LQ GLUHFWRU Jim Henson's ZLOGO\ LPDJLQDWLYH DQG KLJKO\ HQWHUWDLQLQJ SXSSHW ILOOHG V FODVVLF $OO DJHV ZHOFRPH WR GDQFH WKH PDJLF GDQFH LQ WKH EDOFRQ\ I AM CUBA ('Soy Cuba') SP 'HVSLWH LWV RULJLQV DV D ZRUN RI 6RYLHW &XEDQ SROLWLFDO SURSDJDQGD Mikhail Kalatozov's I AM CUBA UHPDLQV D VLQJXODUO\ VWXQQLQJ DQG KLVWRULFDOO\ UHOHYDQW FLQHPDWLF DFKLHYHPHQW VHW LQ DQG DURXQG +DYDQD FLUFD &XED V UHYROXWLRQ 7KH ILOP KROGV LWV RZQ DV VRPHWKLQJ RI D YLVXDO SRHP D VW\OLVK FRQWHPSRUDU\ VWXG\ LQ FRQWUDVWV WKDW LV VHHPLQJO\ VKRW LQ RQH DVWRQLVKLQJ VLQJOH WDNH (QJOLVK VXEWLWOHV MAD MAX FURY ROAD Black & Chrome SP George Miller PDQDJHG WR UHERRW KLV RZQ LFRQLF Mad Max IUDQFKLVH ZLWK WKH WULXPSKDQW UHOHDVH RI WKH XQLYHUVDOO\ DFFODLPHG FURY ROAD, D FRPPHU FLDO DQG FULWLFDO KLW WKDW ZHQW RQ WR ZLQ VL[ 2VFDUV 0LOOHU DOZD\V HQYLVLRQHG WKH ILOP LQ EODFN DQG ZKLWH DQG WKLV LV MXVW WKDW $OO WKH DFWLRQ DOO WKH JORU\ Ä&#x192; LQ VWXQQLQJ EODFN DQG ZKLWH $OVR VFUHHQLQJ 'HFHPEHU

> JANET SMITH

LIVING WITH GIANTS (Canada) All

the sweetness and pain of a young Inukâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s life is captured in this vivid, illuminating film, which took the bestCanadian-documentary prize at this yearâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s VIFF. December 26 (3:45 p.m.)

THE AGE OF SHADOWS (South

Korea) The first of three instant classics cominâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; at ya from South Korea, this head-spinning spy thriller set during the Japanese occupation is the shortest 140 minutes youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll spend in a theatre all year. December 27 (1:45 p.m.)

> ADRIAN MACK

THE WAILING (South Korea) A cop

FASSBINDER

fears that heâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s losing his daughter to the evil that grips a small community in writer-director Na Hong-jinâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s wild thriller, which vacillates between low comedy and the heaviest of horrors on its way to a conclusion that will haunt you for weeks after. December 27 (7:15 p.m.)

DEC 15 - 19

KONELINE: OUR LAND BEAUTIFUL

WITH

ABOUT

â&#x20AC;&#x153;The most dazzling, talented, provocative, original, puzzling, prolific, and exhilarating filmmaker of his generation.â&#x20AC;? THE TH THE HE PR P PRINCESS RINCESS BRIDE SP 0\ QDPH LV ,QLJR 0RQWR\D <RX NLOOHG P\ IDWKHU 3UHSDUH WR GLH $ FODVVLF VWRU\ERRN ORYH VWRU\ IHDWXULQJ SLUDWHV SULQFHVVHV D VL[ ILQJHUHG PDQ URGHQWV RI XQXVXDO VL]H JLDQWV PDZZL DJH PLUDFOH PDNHUV DQG PD\EH VRPH NLVVLQJ $OO DJHV ZHOFRPH LQ WKH EDOFRQ\ $OVR VFUHHQLQJ 'HFHPEHU

But [Zacharias] Kunukâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s film is so much more shaded by his Inuit culture, full of spiritual visions and painstaking re-creations of old-time daily life.â&#x20AC;? December 26 (1:45 p.m.)

â&#x20AC;&#x153;As [director Park Chan-Wookâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s] camera very plainly demonstrates at least twice during this insanely rich and enjoyable film, the dominant POV in The Handmaiden belongs to the vulva.â&#x20AC;? December 27 (4:30 p.m.)

/ IN A YEAR OF 13 MOONS

EDWARD SCISSORHANDS 30 Âł<RX VHH EHIRUH KH FDPH GRZQ KHUH LW QHYHU VQRZHG $QG DIWHUZDUGV LW GLG ,I KH ZHUHQÂśW XS WKHUH QRZÂŤ , GRQÂśW WKLQN LW ZRXOG EH VQRZLQJ 6RPHWLPHV \RX FDQ VWLOO FDWFK PH GDQFLQJ LQ LW Â´ )ULGD\ /DWH 1LJKW 0RYLH

I'M YOUR MAN /HRQDUG &RKHQ 7ULEXWH &RQFHUW SP $ PDJLFDO OLYH FRQFHUW IHDWXULQJ DQ HFOHFWLF PL[ RI 9DQFRXYHU V PRVW WDOHQWHG PXVLFLDQV DFWRUV GDQFHUV DQG SRHWV FRPLQJ WRJHWKHU WR SD\ WULEXWH WR D JUHDW PDQ DQG KLV LQFUHGLEOH ERG\ RI ZRUN 3DUWLDO SURFHHGV WRZDUGV WKH *UHDWHU 9DQFRXYHU )RRG %DQN

from previous page

THE HANDMAIDEN (South Korea)

ADVANCE TICKETS AT WWW.RIOTHEATRETICKETS.CA 3DUN &KDQ ZRRN 'RXEOH %LOO THE HANDMAIDEN SP OLDBOY SP &HOHEUDWH RQH RI FLQHPD V PRVW VW\OLVKO\ LQYHQWLYH ILOPPDNHUV 6RXWK .RUHD V Park Chan-wook ZLWK D GRXEOH IHDWXUH KLJKOLJKWLQJ VRPHWKLQJ QHZ THE HANDMAIDEN DQG DQ ROG FKHVWQXW V OLDBOY ZKLFK DOVR KDSSHQV WR EH RQH RI RXU PRVW IUHTXHQWO\ UHTXHVWHG WLWOHV 6HH RQH RU VHH HP ERWK

Vancityâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s best of 2016

- Vincent Canby, New York Times

(Canada) â&#x20AC;&#x153;It sticks to kaleidoscopic impressions of a sometimes dreamlike landscape, and lets viewers decide how they feel about what theyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re seeing.â&#x20AC;? December 28 (1:45 p.m.) > KE THE PRISON IN TWELVE LANDSCAPES (Canada) Brett Storyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s

strange, abstract documentary traces the outlines of the U.S. prison-industrial complex without ever entering one of its overcrowded facilities, making for an especially potent and affecting spectacle. December 28 (3:45 p.m.)

EVERYBODY

WANTS

SOME!!

DECEMBER 20

<8/(7,'( '28%/( %,// ELF SP Dr. Seuss' HOW THE GRINCH STOLE CHRISTMAS SP 0DNH PHUU\ PHUU\ ZLWK D KL OD ULRXV +ROLGD\ GRXEOH ELOO IHDWXULQJ WZR RI RXU IDYRXULWH &KULVWPDV FRPHG\ FODVVLFV DQG OHDGLQJ PHQ Will Ferrell OHDGV D VWDU VWXGGHG FDVW (James Caan, Zooey Dechanel, Bob Newhart) DV DQ HOI ZLWK GUHDPV RI D &KULVWPDV PLUDFOH LQ ELF DW SP $W SP Jim Carrey SOD\V WKH WLWXODU PHDQ RQH LQ GLUHFWRU Ron Howard's HOW THE GRINCH STOLE CHRISTMAS. 6HH RQH RU VHH HP ERWK .LGV 2.

DEC 21 DE

(USA) â&#x20AC;&#x153;A consistently funny, sometimes introspective riff on [writer-director Richard] Linklaterâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s own experience of setting out on a baseball scholarship.â&#x20AC;ŚJohn Hughes it ainâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t, but youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll remember these kids just as if you grew up with them.â&#x20AC;? December 29 (1:45 p.m.) > KE

The Fictionals Comedy Co. Presents IMPROV AGAINST HUMANITY +2 +2 +2OLGD\ 6SHFLDO SP :H UH KHOSLQJ Santa ZLWK KLV QDXJKW\ OLVW E\ JLYLQJ RXW VZHHW &KULVWPDV JLIWV SHUIRUPLQJ KLODULRXV FRPHG\ DQG FURZQLQJ WKH QHZ Most Horrible Person in Vancouver! &RXOG LW EH \RX"

6DGGOH XS WKH UHLQGHHU DQG FURZQLQJ WKH QHZ Most Vancouver! &RXOG LW EH \RX" 6DGGOH XS WKH UHLQGHHU MXPS LQ WKH VOHLJK DQG FRPH RQ GRZQ ,$+DW5LR MXPS LQ WKH VOHLJK DQG FRPH RQ GRZQ ,$+DW5LR

THE FITS (USA) â&#x20AC;&#x153;[Writer-director Anna Rose Holmer] obviously comes from a place of deep affection for her subjects; for once, theyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re portrayed as struggling for creative expression, not against poverty and violence.â&#x20AC;? December 29 (4 p.m.) > KE OR HIGH WATER (USA) â&#x20AC;&#x153;All thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s left are needless personal grudges at the losing end of trickledown economics, reduced to an unforgettable final exchange that could have been ripped from a Sam Peckinpah movie.â&#x20AC;? December 29 (8 p.m.)

DECEMBER 23

DECEMBER 22

HELL

IT'S A WONDERFUL LIFE SP )RU JHQHUDWLRQV RI PRYLH ORYHUV Frank Capra's ELWWHUVZHHW \HW RSWLPLVWLF IDQWDV\ PDVWHUSLHFH LV D KROLGD\ WUDGLWLRQ RQ SDU ZLWK FKHVWQXWV URDVWLQJ RQ DQ RSHQ ILUH :H FRXOGQ W DJUHH PRUH 'DQFH E\ WKH OLJKW RI WKH PRRQ DQG JHW SXW XQGHU WKH PDJLF VSHOO DJDLQ RI WKLV WUDQVFHQGHQW ILOP ZLWK WKH QHZO\ UHVWRUHG ELJ VFUHHQ YLHZLQJ LW VR ULFKO\ GHVHUYHV GREMLINS SP Âł)LUVW RI DOO NHHS KLP RXW RI WKH OLJKW +H KDWHV EULJKW OLJKW HVSHFLDOO\ VXQOLJKW LWÂśOO NLOO KLP 6HFRQG GRQÂśW JLYH KLP DQ\ ZDWHU QRW HYHQ WR GULQN %XW WKH PRVW LPSRUWDQW UXOH WKH UXOH \RX FDQ QHYHU IRUJHW QR PDWWHU KRZ PXFK KH FULHV QR PDWWHU KRZ PXFK KH EHJV 1HYHU IHHG KLP DIWHU PLGQLJKW Â´ THE SOUND OF MUSIC SP 6LQJLQJ QXQV ORQHO\ JRDWKHUGV Christopher Plummer DQG Julie Andrews QRW WR PHQWLRQ UDLQGURSV RQ URVHV DQG ZKLVNHUV RQ NLWWHQV DUH MXVW D IHZ RI WKH WKLQJV WKDW PDNHV WKLV ROG VFKRRO +ROO\ZRRG FODVVLF RQH RI RXU IDYRXULWH WKLQJV -RLQ XV IRU DQ DOO DJHV ZHOFRPH VKRZLQJ RI RQH RI DQG JHW W UHD UHDG\ G WR VLQJ ODXJK WKH PRVW EHORYHG PXVLFDOV RI DOO WLPH &RPH GUHVVHG LQ \RXU IDYRXULWH OHGHUKRVHQ DQG JHW UHDG\ WR VLQJ ODXJK DQG JHW ILOOHG XS RQ JRRG FKHHU .LGV ZHOFRPH LQ WKH EDOFRQ\ DIE HARD SP <LSSHH NL \D\ PRWKHUIXGJHU )ULGD\ /DWH 1LJKW 0RYLH

SEE WWW.RIOTHEATRE.CA FOR COMPLETE LISTINGS & UPDATED PDA D A E D CAL DATED C CALE CALENDAR AL E NDAR ND D AR AR

Become a Big Sister. Become a Study Buddy

Become a friend. 604.873.4525 â&#x20AC;˘ www.bigsisters.bc.ca

36 THE GEORGIA STRAIGHT DECEMBER 15 â&#x20AC;&#x201C; 22 / 2016

> AM

OUR LITTLE SISTER (Japan) â&#x20AC;&#x153;Viewersâ&#x20AC;Śmay be surprised to find that you can make a superb, twohour movie about people being kind to each other.â&#x20AC;? December 30 (1:45 p.m.) > KE AQUARIUS (Brazil) â&#x20AC;&#x153;One of Brazilâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s

most enduring stars gets the role of a lifetime in Aquarius. This ambitious effort sums up many of the changes Sonia Braga has witnessed, in her career and her country.â&#x20AC;? December 30 (7 p.m.) > KE CAMERAPERSON (USA) â&#x20AC;&#x153;It takes

a while to adjust to the seemingly scattershot collection of people and places encountered in this unusually constructed and exceptionally powerful documentary.â&#x20AC;? January 1 (8:20 p.m.) > KE

MUSIC

If you thought Christmas music was all about BY M IKE US IN G ER, KATE WI LSON , AND JOHN L UCAS

rocking around Douglas firs, roasting chestnuts on an open fire, and dreaming about Yuletide snowfall, then—quite frankly—you haven’t really been listening to your favourite festive tunes at all. Pay closer attention to the lyrics of Bing Crosby’s classic “I’ll Be Home for Christmas”, and you’ll discover that he never bothers to show up. Upbeat and joyful hit “Do They Know It’s Christmas” by Band Aid is about millions of people starving to death. And don’t get us started on the Pogues’ “Fairytale of New York”, where the first verse discusses surviving the night in a drunk tank, the second is about gambling, and by Verse 5 we’ve reached a veritable ode to domestic violence. (Yes, they really do sing “You’re an old slut on junk” and “You cheap lousy faggot”. Truly joyous.) We at the Straight know this because our dedicated staff has once again sat through hours of Christmas albums to sort the musical gifts from the lumps of coal—which has, unfortunately, meant listening to the lyrics. How many records have we heard about married women attempting to seduce Santa? Frankly, we’ve lost count.

Sounds a lot like Christmas

M. Ward and Zooey Deschanel of She & Him (left) feel the joy of the holidays; Kacey Musgraves made this year’s naughty list by stealing Santa Claus’s hat.

the singer—might contain a lot of holiday clichés (“Once Upon a Time” is basically a game of festive bingo), but the album’s smooth R&B sound and romantic lyrics hark back to ’60s Motown, only with much better production. And with The Georgia Straight’s crack team of critics suffered that voice, we can totally forgive Kelly’s rogue through 2016’s holiday albums so you don’t have to request to “fill your stocking with sweet things” while “flying on my sleigh”. It’s still familyLuckily, we’re not ones to let a little heartSTRAIGHT NO CHASER I’ll Have An- friendly if it’s a euphemism, right? > KW break, adultery, and name-calling take anyother…Christmas Album If your all-time thing away from the season’s songs—not least GARTH BROOKS AND TRISHA YEARfavourite Christmas presents have included because it’s the very scene we wake up to on WOOD Christmas Together Not to Boyz II Men tickets, a home-castration kit, Christmas morning ourselves. So to help you argue with the biggest hat in country navigate the daunting landscape of this year’s and Five Neat Guys Greatest Hits on vinyl, then pour music, but “I’m Beginning to See the holiday albums, we’ve reprised our famous rat- a cup of Lucerne Holiday Horseglue—err, Eggnog— ing system. Anything worth listening to gets a and cue up I’ll Have Another…Christmas Album. If, Light” belongs on the Swingers soundtrack, neatly wrapped present, the stuff that’s passable on the other hand, you can’t stand grotesquely sani- not on a couple’s vanity project designed to gets a pair of skimpy tighty-whiteys, and the re- tized background music designed to keep the mood plump up ye olde bank account just in time cords that are the musical equivalent of yellow extra mellow in the old folks’ home, then this a cap- for Christmas. That’s not the only misstep on snow are slapped with a wilting Charlie Brown pella atrocity will give you a newfound appreciation Christmas Together, from the power twosome of Garth Brooks and his megastar wife, Triof the genius of the Nylons. > MU Christmas tree. Happy holidays. sha Yearwood. “What I’m Thankful For” has SHE & HIM Christmas Party As anyKYLIE MINOGUE Kylie Christmas (Snow Brooks singing with the exaggerated drawl of one who has seen the perennial comedy Queen Edition) The crueller among us a down-on-his-luck Oklahoma hog farmer, not Elf can testify, Zooey Deschanel is the might say that releasing a Christmas album a multimillionaire with his own private jet, queen of Christmas songs. It’s her soulis a last-gasp attempt by an artist to claw while a loungey “Baby, It’s Cold Outside” isn’t ful jazz voice that (spoiler alert) rallies back enough money to maintain the illusion of a going to convince anyone (with the possible exenough festive cheer to finally launch Santa’s lavish lifestyle. Normally, we’d leap to the staunch ception of a really fucking loaded Randy Travis) sleigh back into the sky and, in that weird shower defence of Miss Minogue—but sometimes you have to drop their drawers and get busy in front of scene, makes a young Will Ferrell fall in love to be cruel to be kind. Kylie Christmas (Snow Queen the fireplace. > MU with a fellow human. (We say “weird” because Edition) takes the Christmas cake for washed-up THE DRONERS A Very Monotone we’re still wondering why a department store stars attempting to cash in on a commercial holiday Christmas 2 Now there’s a promising has a row of prison showers in its washrooms.) by rereleasing exactly the same album as last year. title! And the Droners deliver on that Deschanel and bandmate Matthew Ward have Sure, she’s added six extra tracks, but we’ll save you promise. If you have ever wondered reprised that festive role in the quirkiest way pos- some money here—they all sound exactly the same sible on Christmas Party, with covers including as the saccharine, Auto-Tuned filler of Kylie Christ- what “Angels We Have Heard on High” or a mariachi version of the Bob Dylan–popular- mas Mk. I. Here’s to hoping Australian TV sched- “Rockin’ Around the Christmas Tree” would ized “Must Be Santa”, a charming blues-infused ules a lucrative Neighbours reunion before we’re sound like with their melodies reduced to a take on the Hawaiian classic “Mele Kalikimaka”, subjected to Kylie Christmas (Extra-Long Extended single note, here’s your answer. Really, though, if you wanted to know what that would sound and a three-piece swing interpretation of “Let It Snow Queen Edition) next year. > KW like, you could easily find out by doing it yourSnow”. Plus, Christmas Party gets bonus points PENTATONIX A Pentatonix Christmas self. If there’s one redeeming feature to A Very for making Frank Sinatra’s “A Marshmallow Let’s face it: failing some sort of sea change Monotone Christmas 2, it’s that even a tone-deaf World” halfway palatable. > KATE WILSON in popular culture, a strictly a cappella elf on a three-day candy-cane bender ought to NEIL DIAMOND Acoustic Christmas group is ultimately destined for a career as be able to sing along with it—although whether Just in case Neil Diamond’s four previ- a novelty act. It happened to the Nylons, it happened that actually counts as singing is debatable. ous Christmas records weren’t enough to Manhattan Transfer, and it’s gonna happen to Those within earshot might classify it as cruel to satisfy you, here’s another. And even if the first Pentatonix. Fortunately, there’s this little holiday and unusual punishment. > JL four were sufficient for you, here’s a fifth one any- called Christmas, which is turning out to be the allLORETTA LYNN White Christmas Blue way. Diamond doesn’t give a reindeer shit about vocal quintet’s very bread and butter. (Or rum and Starting with her 2004 Van Lear Rose that any more than he cares that you might think eggnog, if you will.) As of this writing, the group is comeback record with Jack White, it’s funny for a Jewish singer to make five overtly holding down the top two spots on Billboard’s holiLoretta Lynn has enjoyed the kind of Christian-themed albums. This is about as far day-albums chart, with A Pentatonix Christmas at late-career resurgence that Johnny into the middle of the road as it’s possible to get No. 1 and 2014’s That’s Christmas to Me at No. 2. If without being squashed flat by a UPS truck full of that seems insignificant, consider that both albums Cash might have appreciated. The Coal Miner’s Amazon orders, but it must be said that for a man are also in the Top 10 of the overall album chart. Daughter is certainly on her game on White of his age—he turns 76 in a few weeks—Diamond Which is pretty damn impressive for something Christmas Blue, which comes a whopping 50 years after she last entered the holiday sweephas managed to keep his vocal cords in surpris- that’s this fucking irritating. > JL stakes with 1966’s Country Christmas. Closing ingly great shape. > JOHN LUCAS LAURA PAUSINI Laura Xmas Making in on her 85th year, Lynn doesn’t follow anya good case that God—and possibly Baby one’s vision but her own, and she’s thankfully KACEY MUSGRAVES A Very Kacey Christmas Kacey Musgraves again proves Jesus—pushed her overachiever button, gone the unvarnished route here, the songs herself one of the smartest young guns in Italy’s Laura Pausini has offered her first featuring whiskey-burnished fiddle, stardust modern country with a collection inspired Christmas album in a variety of languages: Eng- pedal steel, and golden-age-of-country piano. by the iconic likes of Dolly Parton and lish, Italian, Spanish, French, and Latin. The term Lynn faithfully resurrects her classic “To Heck Loretta Lynn. Traditionalists will appreciate retro overprocessed doesn’t yield a lot of results when fed With Ole Santa Claus”, puts a seasonal spin on pedal steel and torch-and-twang guitar flourishes into an English-to-Italian translation program on hurtin’ songs with “White Christmas Blue”, and on “Let It Snow” and “Have Yourself a Merry Little Google, but that’s exactly what Laura Xmas is, the does Elvis proud with “Blue Christmas”. Pay Christmas”. Those looking for new holiday faves jazz singer’s vocals needlessly buffed to a blinding attention, kids: this is how it’s done. > MU can proceed to “A Willie Nice Christmas”, featur- sheen, the big-band arrangements slick and soulless. ANDRA DAY Merry Christmas From ing everyone’s favourite pothead, Willie Nelson. It’s not easy sucking all the fun out of the normally Andra Day Discovered by Stevie (Sample lyric: “May we all stay higher than the an- impossible-to-ruin “Feliz Navidad”, but the Italian Wonder’s then wife while singing in gel on top of the tree.”) File this one under instant superstar certainly manages the feat here. And no— Christmas classic. > MIKE USINGER unless you’re well into the vino de Jerez—the Spanish front of a strip mall, jazz performer Andra Day has since become the Motown star’s mentee of version (Laura Navidad) isn’t any less pukey. > MU RUBIK’S CUBE ALLSTARS Vaporsorts—and for good reason. Although we would R. KELLY 12 Nights of Christmas For a ordinarily rather choke on a Brussels sprout wave Christmas Party The formula man who asked us to “Bump n’ Grind” than voluntarily listen to “Winter Wonderhere is simple but arguably effective: in 1993, “Get Dirty” in 1997, and “Marry land”, Day’s Billie Holiday–esque vocals transtake a 20-second sample of an old Christmas rethe Pussy” in 2013, R. Kelly’s career has form even this dullest of Christmas songs into cord, slow it down until it sounds as if the whole taken a bit of a left turn this year. The a smooth, old-timey lullaby. Picking some of world is melting like a Vancouver snowman, see page 39 and loop it for two-and-a-half minutes. The 12 original tracks—all written and produced by results are occasionally hypnotic, but if you’re foolhardy enough to play this at an actual party, prepare to have your guests stage a full-scale Christmas coup. > JL

DECEMBER 15 – 22 / 2016 THE GEORGIA STRAIGHT 37

DE RE-S C A (CO EM LE S DE B TA :M E R EM R TS PH 1 IS) 6

- SOLD OUT MARCH 2NEDARLY- SOLD OUT MARCH 3, L ATE- SOLD OUT MARCH 3,

*4TH SHOW ADDED

MARCH 1ST*

THE SHEEPDOGS

38 THE GEORGIA STRAIGHT DECEMBER 15 – 22 / 2016

Sounds like Christmas

from page 37

the most inventive festive music to cover, Day not only puts a unique spin on Stevie Wonder’s classic “Someday at Christmas” by trading bars with the legend himself, but somehow manages to rescue the stellar “Carol of the Bells” from being the sole preserve of a cappella five-pieces and small boys in white smocks. > KW JANE LYNCH A Swingin’ Little Christmas You know how Brian Setzer is on just the wrong side of tolerable with his Christmas swing shtick, this having everything to do with his approach being obnoxiously brassy? Jane Lynch also missed the memo that sometimes you need to tone down the enthusiasm when horns are involved, especially when it comes to swing music. The former Glee star sounds like someone who’s been snorting icing sugar cut with horse laxatives and industrial speed on “On a Swingin’ Little Christmas Time”, after which she seems determined to set a land-speed record with “Good King Wenceslas”. Swing—especially modern takes on the genre—sounds best when yellowed around the edges instead of note-perfect. If Lynch doesn’t get that, at least she’s got highwattage, intricately pompadoured company. > MU VOICES A Properly Pronounced Christmas You’ve got to give this a cappella quartet points for originality; immaculate diction is a seldom-used selling point. And it does a fine job of sounding old-timey on era-appropriate carols including “O Come, O Come Emmanuel” and “Lo, How a Rose”. Why, you can practically see a bellicose Ebenezer Scrooge throwing open his bedroom window to empty his chamber pot over their correctly enunciating heads. > JL VICTORIAN

THE KILLERS Don’t Waste

Your Wishes In the tradition of Sufjan Stevens, the Killers see Christmas as a great excuse to hit the studio, the platinum-selling band having teamed up over the years with everyone from Elton John to Jimmy Kimmel. Don’t Waste Your Wishes gathers up past outings like the new-wave bonbon “Don’t Shoot Me Santa” and the caffeinated duster “The Cowboy’s Christmas Ball”, assembling them in one convenient package. Included is this year’s treat, a new version of “I’ll Be Home for Christmas”, featuring the spoken-word performance of 80-something Ned Humphrey Hansen, who taught Killers singer Brandon Flowers science in the fourth grade. If you’ve had enough of Bing Crosby and Burl Ives and want something a little more, um, modern (not to mention twisted), your wish has been answered with tracks like “Dirt Sledding” and “Joel the Lump of Coal”. > MU RASCAL FLATTS The Great-

est Gift of All I don’t get it. Why would the brain-dead hicks of Rascal Flatts sing “Deck the Halls” to the tune of “Surfer Girl”? If they wanted to record a Beach Boys Christmas song, why not just go with “Little Saint Nick”, or something else Brian Wilson actually wrote? On second thought, forget I asked. Insight into the creative process of Gary LeVox, Jay DeMarcus, and Joe Don Rooney is probably akin to finding out how sausages are made. And The Greatest Gift of All is very much like a plate of sausages, 10 overstuffed tubes of mystery meat, glistening and greasy, and… I don’t know where I’m going with this. I have a hatred of Rascal Flatts that verges on the irrational, a seething aversion that dates back to the Cars soundtrack, on which the trio managed to take “Life Is a Highway”—a song that is practically begging to be taken out behind the barn and put out of our collective misery—and make it even more trite and ham-fisted. So the very existence of this album is almost enough to ruin the holidays for me. > JL

NETTLES To Celebrate Christmas Rather than play things safe and treacly—which the suits in Nashville probably would have preferred—Jennifer Nettles turns “Go Tell It on the Mountain” into a distorted roadhouse raver and then sets up on the back porch for “Do You Hear What I Hear”. Give the moonlighting Sugarland shitkicker added props for fleshing things out with numbers like “Circle of Love” and “Celebrate Me Home”, rather than the six-millionth rendition of “Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer”. > MU JENNIFER

Lauren Daigle sure loves Jesus, but we won’t hold that against her. SUSAN BOYLE A Wonder-

ful World Susan Boyle shot to fame on Britain’s Got Talent not for her prodigious singing voice, but for being, frankly, unfortunatelooking. Several thousand dollars later, Boyle’s miraculous makeover has landed her a staple role in “You’ll Never Guess What They Look Like Now” click-bait articles—and, more importantly, has given her a visage that (nearly) matches her smooth vocals. Featuring an oddly charming duet on the classic “When I Fall in Love” with the long-dead Nat King Cole, and a soft, piano-scored rendition of Paul McCartney’s Scottish homage “Mull of Kintyre”, A Wonderful World is full of left-field choices that far outdo her clichéd 2013 offering, Home for Christmas. > KW

FRANKIE VALLI ’Tis the Seasons It’s uncanny how, at the age of 82, Frankie Valli still sort of sings like a teenage boy who’s waiting for his voice to change. The Four Seasons frontman doesn’t bust out that “Big Girls Don’t Cry” falsetto screech anymore, but that’s arguably a good thing. If this semi-cleverly titled LP has one major failing, it’s that it is grossly overproduced. “Jingle Bell Rock” needs a wall of syrupy strings about as much as I need to immerse myself in a bathtub filled with melted candy canes. If this had actually come in on CD I would have given it to Steve Newton, since the alleged Greatest Living Rock Guitarist adds some “tasty licks” to “Merry Christmas, Baby”. > JL

SARAH MCLACHLAN Won-

LAUREN DAIGLE Behold: A

derland Joni Mitchell’s “River” and Gordon Lightfoot’s “Song for a Winter’s Night” are not Christmas songs. What they are is monumentally depressing. Fortunately, Sarah McLachlan got those out of her system on 2006’s Wintersong. Her latest offering of soft-focus sugarplum visions is a much safer bet for those prone to crippling bouts of seasonal affective disorder or general sad-sackery. On Wonderland, she lends her usual earthbound-angel cooing to “White Christmas”, “O Come All Ye Faithful”, and other predictable fare. In this case predictable is good, because those selections won’t make you want to crawl into the fireplace and roast yourself like a chestnut. > JL

Christmas Collection Through no fault of her own—blame her parents, record label, and the Southern Baptist church— Lauren Daigle finds herself filed under “contemporary Christian” in the iTunes store. While that should technically make her about as much fun as Christmas cocktails with Ned Flanders, the Louisiana native sings with a smoky, retro-jazzy drawl that suggests, rightly or wrongly, she enjoys a good sidecar and the occasional Lucky Strike. It doesn’t hurt that Behold has a mild Crescent City vibe that’s more French Quarter at 1 a.m. than Sunday worship session with Amy Grant. Yes, sometimes good things do come in squeaky-clean packages. > MU

NATALIE M AC MASTER AND DONNELL LEAHY

A Celtic Family Christmas You could argue about that title for hours; Natalie MacMaster and Donnell Leahy are indeed a Celtic family (of Scottish and Irish descent, respectively), and the married fiddlers here roast a variety of seasonal chestnuts. Those prone to pick nits, however, might feel inclined to point out that many of the selections here (“What Child Is This?”, “God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen”, “Hark the Herald Angels Sing”) were actually written by bloody Englishmen! The music itself is beyond fine, with all the sparkle and polish you would expect from these veteran performers, but ná bí ag iarraidh cluain an chacamais a chur orm! > JL VARIOUS ARTISTS A Capitol Christmas Christmas is all about traditions, whether it’s pouring Avalon Dairy eggnog on your Cap’n Crunch or watching It’s a Wonderful Life on Christmas Eve three sheets to the wind. And because it’s all about traditions, no one can argue that oldtimers like Bing Crosby don’t do the season far more proud than the likes of Bon Jovi and the Vandals. A Capitol Christmas mines 75 years of history at one of the world’s most famous record labels, with everyone’s favourite holiday drunk, Dean Martin, crooning his way through “Winter Wonderland” and Peggy Lee bundling up for “I Like a Sleighride”. Giants like Nat King Cole and Frank Sinatra are wellrepresented, as are lesser lights such as Kay Starr and June Christy. Christmas surprises, meanwhile, include the revelation that Jack Gleason was good for something other than constantly threatening to punch out his wife on The Honeymooners; a gifted musician and arranger, he goes as old-school as it gets on a retro-strings-drenched “I’ll Be Home for Christmas” and “Let It Snow! Let It Snow! Let It Snow!”, both of which sound like a 1920s Christmas at the Hotel Vancouver. > MU

RING IN 2017 IN STYLE AS TOP DJS, ARTISTS, & PERFORMERS PLAY AND PARTY ACROSS AN ENTIRE FLOOR OF THE CITY’S MOST ICONIC VENUE

ALL NIGHT DANCE PARTY

LUXURY BALLROOMS

ART & SPECTACLE

SHOWSTOPPING ENTERTAINMENT

HEDSPIN

HUBBZ JON LEE TAINTED LOVERS

MATT HUDOLIN DERRICK VNUK WMNSTUDIES ZEEAA FLØRIST

CHRISTIAN FLORES LUCITERRA THE ORCHID CLUB

(RedBull 3Style Champ)

RICCO KOOSH ERICA DEE

(Live Disco Band)

MR. PABLO

DECEMBER 15 – 22 / 2016 THE GEORGIA STRAIGHT 39

MUSIC

Neurosis feels recharged The rewards for being a true

NEW ORLEANS INSPIRED CUISINE

FAT TUESDAY!

Pasta is $ 95 from 5 till 9 Come down for 1/2 price pasta and free live jazz! BLUEMARTINIJAZZCAFE.COM 1516 YEW STREET, VANCOUVER, BC | 604 428 2691

DECEMBER 31

15 THE PHONIX 18 20 16 17 31 THURSDAY $2.75 10 OZ DRAFT $5.50 HEY Y’ALL HARD ICE TEA

SUNDAY

FUNK / SOUL / R&B

FUNK / SOUL / R&B - 4.00PM

FRIDAY $5.50 LONG ISLAND ICED TEA

TUESDAY $2.75 10 OZ DRAFT $5.50 HEY Y’ALL HARD ICE TEA

HIGH TIDE HOUSE DJ’S

KELSO, RIDEOUT RAWTHORNE

CHRISTMAS SOUL W/ ARDENT TRIIBE

WATASUN, ONE KINGDOM, KESWICK ADAMS

SATURDAY

TROPICAL CHRISTMAS DANCE PARTY

NYE PARTY FEATURING HART & SOUL

CARIBBEAN / LATIN / AFRICAN

TIX @ VANCOUVERTIX.COM ONLY $20

FOOD. DRINK. LIVE ENTERTAINMENT. *** VISIT US ONLINE FOR UP TO THE MINUTE LISTINGS, DRINK SPECIALS AND MORE www.thebackstagelounge.com ***

40 THE GEORGIA STRAIGHT DECEMBER 15 – 22 / 2016

2 pioneer in one’s chosen genre

are gratifying, but not always from a financial perspective. Scott Kelly has learned this during his 30-plus years with Neurosis, the postmetal experimentalists who’ve inspired the likes of Explosions in the Sky, Sunn O))), and Mastodon. The singer and guitarist has been reached by the Straight in Wyoming while on tour with his more atmospheric side project Mirrors For Psychic Warfare. This is out of necessity. During the spring and summer months Kelly works as a sound technician for the acclaimed Oregon Shakespeare Festival in Ashland, where he lives with his wife and two kids. Then things go dark. “I’m in a position financially where I have to be on the road because my regular job is only seven-and-a-half months per year,” Kelly says, speaking on his cellphone. “So I need to tour for those other four-and-a-half months just to keep the food on the table and the roof over the head of the family. So I’ve been going on the tour in the winter for the last four or five years.” As much as he loves what he does when not on-stage (“It’s definitely the best job in the area that I live— and there’s not a lot of them”), Kelly is happy that 2016 has seen Neurosis return to action with its triumphant new Fires Within Fires. With band members raising families and holding down steady jobs (guitarist Steve Von Till teaches elementary school), the group hasn’t been as active over the last decade as in the past. But reaction to the new record, which follows up 2012’s Honor Found in Decay, has been positive enough that Neurosis has found itself recharged. “We’re going back into the room right after Christmas to start working on new stuff,” Kelly reveals. “We’re increasing the pressure a bit right now. Things feel really strong

The guys in Neurosis like to visit their old high school occasionally and show that shop teacher just who’s “never going to make anything of themselves”.

right now with the band, and we’re trying to be proactive a little bit. We kind of got into a situation with [2007’s] Given to the Rising where we didn’t intend for so much time to go by between that and Honor Found in Decay. It’s just that life happens and shit gets in the way.” Despite that, Neurosis had no problem creating something beautiful with Fires Within Fires, the record serving up metal at its most mindbendingly meditative. From the edgeof-dawn majesty of “Broken Ground” to the feedback-strafed grinder “Fire Is the End Lesson”, Kelly and his bandmates have made an admirably textured record perfect for soaking up Pacific Northwest winters. And they did it the old-fashioned way. The world has of course changed dramatically since Neurosis helped invent postmetal with ’90s landmarks like Through Silver in Blood and Times of Grace. But having committed to Neurosis for most of their lives, Kelly and his bandmates—who

include bassist Dave Edwardson, drummer Jason Roeder, and synth player Noah Landis—would rather get together and jam things out as friends rather than build songs through file-swapping. Their motivation is simple: they’re now at a point in their lives where they can appreciate what they’ve accomplished. “I remember when other bands started citing us as a big influence—we were really in shock about it, honestly,” Kelly says. “At first we were kind of pissed that other bands were building on what we were doing—it was a weird ‘What the fuck?’ reaction. But then we got some perspective and realized ‘Wait a second.’ We checked ourselves and remembered how deeply we were influenced by bands like Black Flag and Crass when we started. They created their own music and own scenes. We’re just another step down the line.” > MIKE USINGER

Neurosis plays Venue on Tuesday (December 20).

INTERNATIONAL GUITAR NIGHT Gypsyjazz musician Lulo Reinhardt hosts performances by Luca Stricagnoli, Chrystian Dozza, and Debashish Bhattacharya. Jan 28, 8 pm, Massey Theatre (735 8th Ave., New West). Tix $10-35, info www.ticketsnw.ca/.

music/ timeout CONCERTS < CLUBS & VENUES < OUT OF TOWN <

CONCERTS 2JUST ANNOUNCED UNDER THE STREETLAMP Evening celebrates the music of Frankie Valli and the Four Seasons from the Broadway musical Jersey Boys. Dec 30-31, Stadium Club (Edgewater Casino, 760 Pacific Blvd. S.). Tix from $59.50 (plus service charges and fees) at edgewatercasino.showare.com/. BOWIE BALL: A CELEBRATION OF THE LIFE AND MUSIC OF DAVID BOWIE Celebrate the life and legacy of the great David Bowie with performances by Martin Flytrap, the Salvos, Unique Motels, Zafirios, Rebel Priest, China Syndrome, Jimmy Baldwin, the Judys, Jesse Waldman and the Mojophonics, Nu Braineaters, Space Junk, Cass King and the Next Right Thing, Eddy D and the Sex Bombs, Lil Miss Rockpile, Left Spine Down, and Fuck Guns. Jan 14, 7 pm, Rickshaw Theatre (254 E. Hastings). $15, info www.rickshawtheatre.com/. HIGH ON FIRE California heavy-metal band tours in support of latest release Luminiferous, with guests Waingro, Astrakhan, Dead Quiet, Heron, and Hedks. Jan 20, doors 7 pm, show 8 pm, Rickshaw Theatre (254 E. Hastings). Tix $25 (plus service charges and fees) at Red Cat, Zulu Records, and www.ticketweb.ca/. THE BAD PLUS New York City jazz trio composed of pianist Ethan Iverson, bassist Reid Anderson, and drummer Dave King. Jan 20, 8 pm, BlueShore Financial Centre for the Performing Arts (2055 Purcell Way). Tix $32/29, info www.capilanou.ca/centre/. JOHN REISCHMAN AND THE JAYBIRDS The Rogue Folk Club presents the Canadian bluegrass-folk band. Jan 26, 8 pm, St. James Hall (3214 W. 10th). Tix $26, info www.roguefolk.bc.ca/concerts/ ev17012620/.

AIR SUPPLY Australian soft-rock duo plays hits like “I’m All Out of Love”, “Here I Am”, and “Lost in Love”. Feb 13, doors 7 pm, show 8 pm, Stadium Club (Edgewater Casino, 760 Pacific Blvd. S.). Tix from $49.50 (plus service charges and fees) at edgewatercasino.showare.com/. PARSONSFIELD Massachusetts folk band tours in support of latest release Blooming Through the Black. Feb 23, doors 7 pm, show 8 pm, Fox Cabaret (2321 Main). Tix $23 (plus service charges and fees) at www.ticketzone.com/. DESERT DAZE TOUR Music by English rock band Temples, American psychedelic group Night Beats, American rock duo Deap Vally, American dream-pop band Froth, and American vibe ensemble Jjuujjuu. Feb 26, doors 7 pm, show 8 pm, Rickshaw Theatre (254 E. Hastings). Tix on sale Dec 16, 10 am, $25 (plus service charges and fees) at Red Cat, Zulu Records, and www.ticketweb.ca/. CLAP YOUR HANDS SAY YEAH American indie-rock band tours in support of its latest release The Tourist. Mar 18, doors 8 pm, show 9 pm, The Imperial (319 Main). Tix on sale Dec 16, 10 am, $20 (plus service charges and fees) at Red Cat, Zulu Records, and www.ticketweb.ca/.

on the web!

For up-to-the-minute, searchable Music Time Out listings, visit

www.straight.com

DWEEZIL ZAPPA American rock guitarist performs songs by father Frank Zappa on his Cease and Desist Tour. Apr 25, doors 7 pm, show 8 pm, Commodore Ballroom (868 Granville). Tix on sale Dec 16, 10 am, $49.50 (plus service charges and fees) at www.livenation.com/. LIONEL RICHIE American soul-R&B singersongwriter performs on his All the Hits Tour with guest Mariah Carey. Apr 27, doors 6 pm, show 7 pm, Rogers Arena (800 Griffiths Way). Tix on sale Dec 17, 10 am, $299.95/165 /129.95/79.95/59.95/39.95 (plus service charges and fees) at www.livenation.com/. SONDRE LERCHE Brooklyn-based Norwegian indie-rock singer-songwriter tours in support of latest album release Please. Apr 28, doors 8 pm, show 9 pm, Biltmore Cabaret (2755 Prince Edward). Tix $25 (plus service charges and fees) at www.livenation.com/.

SAID THE WHALE Vancouver indie-rock band tours in support of upcoming fifth studio album As Long as Your Eyes Are Wide. Apr 29, doors 7 pm, show 8 pm, Vogue Theatre (918 Granville). Tix on sale Dec 16, 10 am, $25 (plus service charges and fees) at www.livenation.com/. ROCK THE PARK: AMBLESIDE Outdoormusic festival features performances by Randy Bachman, April Wine, Platinum Blonde, Honeymoon Suite, Headpins, Harlequin, Kenny Shields and Streetheart, Glass Tiger, Nick Gilder and Sweeney Todd, Helix, and Prism. Aug 18-20, Ambleside Park (13th and Marine Dr., West Van). Info www.rocktheparkambleside.com/.

JOIN US EVERY 2ND WEDNESDAY

December 21

2THIS WEEK MUSIC FOR THE WINTER SOLSTICE Music on Main salutes the solstice with performances by Veda Hille, Caroline Shaw, Rachel Kiyo Iwaasa, and Adrian Vardejo. Dec 15, 16, 8 pm, Heritage Hall (3102 Main Street). Tix $25/10, info www. musiconmain.ca/concerts/music-for-thewinter-solstice-2016/. ROY WOODS Canadian rapper and OVO Sound recording artist. Dec 15, doors 8 pm, show 9 pm, The Imperial (319 Main). Tix $20 (plus service charges and fees) at www.ticketweb.ca/. LITTLE INDIA Vancouver indie-electronica band performs at an album-release party for latest EP offering Neon Jungle, with guests Derrival. Dec 16, doors 7 pm, show 8 pm, Venue (881 Granville). Tix $15 (plus service charges and fees) at www. livenation.com/. KEITHMAS VII: A FOOD BANK FUNDRAGER Celebrate the birth of Rolling Stones guitarist Keith Richards and help raise money for the Vancouver Food Bank. Performers include Rich Hope, Bif Naked, No Sinner, Pigby, the Rentalmen, La Chinga, Sister Morphine, the Orange Kyte, and Greenback High. Dec 16, doors 7 pm, show 8 pm, Rickshaw Theatre (254 E. Hastings). Tix $15 (plus service charges and fees) at Red Cat, Highlife Records, and www.ticketweb.ca/. HALF MOON RUN Montreal-based indie-rock quartet, with guests Plants and Animals. Dec 16, doors 7 pm, show 8 pm, Orpheum Theatre (601 Smithe). Tix $33.50/26 (plus service charges and fees) at www.livenation.com/. HOLIDAY HUSTLE Christmas party features performances by No Sinner, Louise Burns, TANGLERS, and Leisure Club. Dec 16, 9 pm, WISE Hall (1882 Adanac). Tix $15/12, info www.myshowpass.com/ beatroutexmas/.

THANKS FOR VOTING US BEST STRIP CLUB!

MALE DANCERS: 8:30-10PM FEMALE DANCERS: 10PM-CLOSE

HARPDOG BROWN Canadian blues musician and guitarist Jordie Edmonds

see next page

DONNELLYGROUP.CA

THE THE THE THE THE

LAMPLIGHTER, CINEMA, BIMINI, LIBRARY SQUARE, THREE BRITS, TAVERN, BUTCHER & BULLOCK, NEW OXFORD

TIX AT WWW.MYSHOWPASS.COM DECEMBER 15 – 22 / 2016 THE GEORGIA STRAIGHT 41

Music time out

Place Stadium (777 Pacific Boulevard). Tix $275/150/115/35 (plus service charges and fees),at www.livenation.com/.

give a live in-store performance and sign autographs. Dec 17, 2-4 pm, Beatmerchant Record Store. Free admission, info www. harpdogbrown.com/.

COLDPLAY British rock band led by Chris Martin performs on its A Head Full of Dreams Tour 2017. Sep 29, doors 5 pm, show 7 pm, BC Place Stadium (777 Pacific Boulevard). Tix $199.50/139.50/89.50/59.50 /29.50 (plus service charges and fees) at www.livenation.com/.

from previous page

HARPDOG

New-Used Records New CDs & DVDs New Posters T-Shirts British Soccer Lots of Goodies

BROWN Jordie Edmonds and

LIVE in STORE Saturday, December 17th from 2pm to 4pm. Enjoy a blues filled afternoon and get a chance to purchase signed CD inside the store just in time for the holidays!

NO COVER

The Beatmerchant Record Store is proud to announce, Canadian ‘old school’ blues musician

Dec 16 RHYTHM ST. Dec 17 FRONT PAGE BAND Dec 18 SONS OF THE HOE

THURSDAY POOL TOURNAMENT DAILY DRINK & FOOD SPECIALS 1038 Main St • (604) 608-1444 1 block North Main St SkyTrain

THE RED CROSS www.redcross.ca

12240 2ND AVE. @ BAYVIEW, STEVESTON VILLAGE, RICHMOND

604.204.0044 |

WWW.BEATMERCHANT.COM

Canadian Red Cross / Croix-Rouge Canadienne

COASTLINE PILOT Vancouver indierock band, with guests Vaultry and the Jake Touzel Band. Dec 17, 7:30 pm, Biltmore Cabaret (2755 Prince Edward). Tix $15, info www.facebook.com/ events/189497901509330/. LEONARD COHEN TRIBUTE CONCERT Dawn Pemberton and the Roots N Wings Choir, Colleen Rennison, TJ Dawe, Brendan McLeod, Cass King, Company B, Martin Patenaude, Twin Bandit, and Hank Pine celebrate the life and work of the Canadian singer, songwriter, musician, poet, novelist, and painter. Dec 17, 8 pm, Rio Theatre (1660 E. Broadway). Tix $20/17, info www.riotheatre.ca/. TRIBUTE TO NAOMI SHEMER AND LEONARD COHEN An instrumental band and vocalists Stephen Aberle, Debby Fenson, and Wendy Rubin pay musical tribute to Naomi Shemer and Leonard Cohen. Dec 17, 8 pm, Congregation Beth Israel . Tix $30/25/15, info www.brownpapertickets.ca/. SOUL CHRISTMAS DANCE PARTY An afternoon of dance, drink, caroling, Christmas prizes, and music by Vancouver band Ardent Tribe. Dec 18, 4-8 pm, The Backstage Lounge (1585 Johnston, Granville Island). Tix $12, info www.ardenttribe.com/. HED PE California hip-hop/punk-rock outfit. Dec 18, 7 pm, Rickshaw Theatre (254 E. Hastings). Tix $20, info www.rickshawtheatre.com/.

ROGER WATERS Prog-rock legend and former Pink Floyd member performs on his Us + Them Tour. Oct 28, 8 pm, Rogers Arena (800 Griffiths Way). Tix from $52 to $247 (plus service charge and fees) at www.ticketmaster.ca/.

CLUBS & VENUES ALEXANDER GASTOWN 91 Powell, 778379-0407. 2GREAT GOOD FINE OK Jan 16 2DUMBFOUNDED Jan 26 2LIZZO Jan 27 2VALLIS ALPS Mar 11 AT THE WALDORF 1489 E. Hastings, 604253-7141. Woo Hoo Simpsons Trivia every 3rd Mon., TING! w/ Tank Gyal & guests Thu; Waldorf A Go-Go with Vinyl Ritchie Fri; Vision Saturdays. BACKSTAGE LOUNGE Arts Club Theatre, 1585 Johnston, Granville Island, 604-687-1354. 2ADAPTATION, MC DANIEL COYNE, DJ TONY TIGRE Dec 14 2THE PHONIX Dec 15 2NYE PARTY, HART & SOUL Dec 31 BILTMORE CABARET 2755 Prince Edward, 604-676-0541. 2COASTLINE PILOT Dec 17 2JOHN PAUL WHITE Jan 16 2LYDIA LOVELESS Feb 2 2KOBO TOWN Feb 4 2LEON Feb 14 2CLOUD NOTHINGS Feb 16 2CLIPPING. Feb 22 2THE RADIO DEPT. Feb 28 2TENNIS Mar 1 2JOSEPH Mar 18 2JAIN Mar 27 2COLONY HOUSE Apr 1 2THE WEDDING PRESENT Apr 26 2SONDRE LERCHE Apr 28

COOL YULE WITH VAN DJANGO The Rogue Folk Club presents the Canadian Gypsy-jazz band in a festive mix of nostalgic favourites, jazz standards, pop tunes, BIMINI PUBLIC HOUSE 2010 W. 4th, 604classical elements, and sing-alongs, plus a 733-7116. Twenty-four taps of rotating and interesting craft beers. Pub trivia Mon; few surprises Dec 18, 8 pm, St. James Hall (3214 W. 10th). Tix $22, info www.roguefolk. beer club Tue; Wing Wed; dance party Fri-Sat; happy hour 3-6 pm. bc.ca/concerts/ev16121820/. AESOP ROCK American hip-hop artist tours in support of latest release The Impossible Kid, with guests Rob Sonic, DJ Zone, and Homeboy Sandman. Dec 19, doors 8 pm, Venue (881 Granville). Tix $25 (plus service charges and fees) at Red Cat, Zulu Records, and www.bplive.ca/.

BLUE MARTINI JAZZ CAFE 1516 Yew, 604-428-2691. Live jazz, soul, and blues. COBALT 917 Main, 778-918-3671. 2THE LEMON TWIGS Feb 1 2SERATONES Feb 4 2CHERRY GLAZERR Feb 7 2HIPPO CAMPUS Feb 23 2MOON DUO Mar 4

COMMODORE BALLROOM 868 Granville, 604-739-4550. 2IN FLAMES AND HELL YEAH Dec 14 2FUNK THE HALLS Dec 21 2THE ORIGINAL UGLY CHRISTMAS SWEATER PARTY Dec 23 2TIM HICKS AND CHAD BROWNLEE Jan 7 2T.I. Jan 12 2IT’S JUST DRAG! Jan 13 2ECCW WRESTLING: BALLROOM BRAWL VII Jan 14 2THE FIGHTER AND THE KID LIVE Jan 19 2STEEL PANTHER Jan 20 2AFI Jan 24 2BIG WRECK Jan 27 2STING Feb 1 2JOHN K. SAMSON NEUROSIS California post-metal band, with guests YOB and Sumac. Dec 20, 7 pm, AND THE WINTER WHEAT Feb 2 2SONREAL Feb 3 2REEL BIG FISH AND ANTI-FLAG Feb Venue (881 Granville). Tix $36, info www. 9 2USS Feb 10 2MATTHEW GOOD Feb 16 bplive.ca. 2THE PHILOSOPHER KINGS Mar 6 2THE FUNK THE HALLS Local DJ duo the Funk CADILLAC THREE Mar 8 2BLACKIE AND Hunters, composed of Nick Middleton THE RODEO KINGS Mar 10 2CHRONIXX and Duncan Smith, headline a holiday Mar 18 2JAPANDROIDS Mar 20 2MOTHER celebration. Dec 21-22, doors 8 pm, show MOTHER Mar 25 2THE TEA PARTY Mar 31 9:30 pm, Commodore Ballroom (868 2THE DAMNED Apr 15 2THE ZOMBIES Apr Granville). Tix $30 (plus service charges 21 2DWEEZIL ZAPPA Apr 25 2TESTAMENT and fees) at www.livenation.com/. May 10 2BONOBO May 25 DONNY & MARIE Sibling pop singers and TV stars Donny and Marie Osmond perform three shows, mixing holiday songs with a nostalgic look back at their careers in show biz. Dec 20-22, doors 7 pm, show 8 pm, River Rock Show Theatre (River Rock Casino Resort, 8811 River Rd.). Tix $149.50 (plus service charges and fees) at www. ticketmaster.ca/, info www.riverrock.com.

KEN LAVIGNE’S CHRISTMAS MUSICAL ROADSHOW Ken Lavigne takes a look back to the golden age of radio shows with performances by his band and guests Alison MacDonald and Daniel James White. Dec 21, 7:30-10 pm, Centennial Theatre (2300 Lonsdale Ave., North Van). Tix $38/18, info www.kenlavigne.com/.

2UPCOMING HIGHLIGHTS

The holidays are a time when friends and family gather, when we prepare time-honoured recipes, and set the table with our best. Complement these moments with a beer worthy of those we love.

42 THE GEORGIA STRAIGHT DECEMBER 15 – 22 / 2016

DOOLIN’S IRISH PUB 654 Nelson, 604605-4343. Live music Sun-Thu, with acoustic soloist or duo Sun-Wed and live band Thu DJ Fri-Sat. FORTUNE SOUND CLUB 147 E. Pender, 604-569-1758. 2MACHINEDRUM Dec 29 2DREAM WARRIORS Jan 24 2THE KNOCKS Feb 3 2PROF Feb 11 2THE STAVES Feb 17 2P.O.S Mar 3 2ISAIAH RASHAD Mar 22

CONTACT WINTER MUSIC FESTIVAL Electronic-music festival features performFOX CABARET 2321 Main. 2THE ORCHID ances by Flume, Zeds Dead, Gareth Emery, CLUB VIRAGO NATION TAKEOVER Dec 20 Getter, Mija, Drezo, Audien, Big Wild, 2NERD NITE 1ST ANNUAL: FACT TO THE Shaun Frank, Sleepy Tom, Disclosure DJ, FUTURE Dec 21 2CATE LE BON AND TIM Marshmello, W&W, Slushii, Vicetone, Botnek, PRESLEY Jan 16 2PARSONSFIELD Feb 23 Baauer, Hucci, Grandtheft, and Pusher. 2THE RURAL ALBERTA ADVANTAGE Feb 25 Dec 26-27, BC Place Stadium (777 Pacific 2JOEY LANDRETH Mar 3 Boulevard). Tix from $99 (plus service charges and fees) at www.contact-festival.com/. HARBOUR EVENT CENTRE 750 Pacific Blvd. Former location of the Plush and MASSIVE GALA 2017 The Georgia Gossip nightclubs, massive room features Straight presents a New Year’s Eve consound production from D & B, over 100 cert featuring performances by Fetty state-of-the-art LED panels and lighting, Wap, Young Thug, Monty, and Daijo. Dec and special effects with CO2 cannons, 31, Pacific Coliseum (Hastings Park, 100 N. confetti, and indoor fireworks. Renfrew). Tix at www.solidevents.ca/, info THE IMPERIAL 319 Main, 604-868-0494. www.solidevents.ca/. 2ROY WOODS Dec 15 2BEAR’S DEN Jan TRUE NORTH New Year’s Eve concert 21 2BENJAMIN FRANCIS LEFTWICH Feb 4 features performances by the New 2LOS CAMPESINOS Feb 21 2BANNERS Pornographers, Yukon Blonde, Humans Feb 25 2THE WOOD BROTHERS Mar 12 (Live), Delhi 2 Dublin, Meghan Patrick, and 2CLAP YOUR HANDS SAY YEAH Mar 18 DJs Andy Clockwork, Kevin Shiu, and 2STRFKR Mar 22 2AGNES OBEL Mar 25 Hebegebe. Dec 31, 8 pm, Vancouver 2MARTHA WAINWRIGHT Apr 24 Convention Centre (1055 Canada Place). IVANHOE PUB 1038 Main, 604-608-1444. Tix from $99 (plus service charges and Pub with live bands on weekends and fees) at www.nyevan.com/truenorth. open jam night Sun from 4 to 8 pm. Open THE WEEKND Canadian alt-R&B singerat 9 am with breakfast and daily food songwriter performs on his Starboy: specials. Pool tourney Thu. No cover. Legend of the Fall 2017 World Tour. LAMPLIGHTER PUBLIC HOUSE 92 Water, Apr 25, doors 6:30 pm, show 7:30 pm, 604-687-4424. Pub trivia with Nice Guys Inc. Rogers Arena (800 Griffiths Way). Tix Tue; bourbon and bingo Wed; Rocksteady $175/99/79/59/39.50 (plus service charges with DJs Arems, Hoppa & Rexx Thu; FKYA and fees) at www.livenation.com/. DJs Fri; DJ Antonia & Friends Sat. BRUNO MARS Grammy-winning, multiMOLSON CANADIAN THEATRE AT platinum superstar performs as part of his HARD ROCK 2080 United Blvd., 604-52324K Magic World Tour. Jul 26-27, doors 7 6888. 2BURTON CUMMINGS Dec 29 pm, show 8 pm, Rogers Arena (800 Griffiths Way). Tix $175/99.50/79.50/40 (plus service ORPHEUM THEATRE 601 Smithe, 604-665charges and fees) at www.livenation.com/. 3050. 2HALF MOON RUN Dec 16 2SAM ROBERTS BAND Feb 7 2COLIN JAMES GUNS N’ ROSES Los Angeles hard-rock Mar 8 2PASSENGER Mar 25 2KALEO band (“Sweet Child o’ Mine”, “November Apr 4 Rain”) performs on its Not in This Lifetime Tour. Sep 1, doors 6 pm, show 7:30 pm, BC see next page

HOUSING PRINCETON PUB & GRILL 1901 Powell, 604-253-6645. Live music on Thursdays with the Palomars (first Thu of every month), the Honky Tonk Dilettantes (second Thu), Sick Boss (third Thu), and Gabriel DuBreuil (fourth Thu). Jam session Tue, trivia night Wed, live local bands Fri-Sat, and karaoke Sun. No cover. QUEEN ELIZABETH THEATRE 650 Hamilton, 604-665-3050. 2BLUE RODEO Jan 27 2BRIAN WILSON Apr 8 REPUBLIC 958 Granville, 604-669-3214. House, hip-hop, EDM, chart, and reggae. Open nightly from 10 pm to 3 am. RICKSHAW THEATRE 254 E. Hastings, 604-681-8915. 2THE FIRST OH WELL Dec 15 2KEITHMAS VII: A FOOD BANK FUNDRAGER Dec 16 2HED PE Dec 18 2BLACK WIZARD AND BLACK BREATH Dec 31 2MIDGE URE Jan 5 2THE WORLD HAS NO EYEDEA Jan 6 2COMEDY SHOCKER XI: SOMETHING WICKED THIS WAY COMES Jan 7 2KYLE MORTON Jan 9 2TEQUILA MOCKINGBIRD ORCHESTRA 10TH ANNIVERSARY SHOW Jan 12 2FRIDAY THE 13TH Jan 13 2BOWIE BALL: A CELEBRATION OF THE LIFE AND MUSIC OF DAVID BOWIE Jan 14 2DIRKSCHNEIDER Jan 19 2HIGH ON FIRE Jan 20 2ENTOMBED A.D. Jan 22 2THE SUPER DUPER SHOW Jan 27 2BLACK LIPS Feb 1 2LORDI Feb 2 2MAYHEM Feb 3 2ALCEST Feb 4 2THE WHAMMY AWARDS Feb 10 2WHITE LIES Feb 11 2WAX TAILOR Feb 17 2THUNDERCAT Feb 17 2POLYRHYTHMICS Feb 25 2DESERT DAZE TOUR Feb 26 2KREATOR Mar 29 2D.O.A.: ROCK THE VOTE Apr 1 2AMORPHIS Apr 3 2SOHN Apr 8 2ASPHYX Apr 30 2DELAIN AND HAMMERFALL May 5 2SABATON May 7 RIVER ROCK SHOW THEATRE River Rock Casino Resort, 8811 River Rd., 604-247-8900. 2DONNY & MARIE Dec 20-22 2KIM MITCHELL Dec 30 2THE ROBERT CRAY BAND Mar 3 2ENGELBERT HUMPERDINCK Mar 10 ROGERS ARENA 800 Griffiths Way, 604899-7400. 2DIERKS BENTLEY Feb 9 2RED HOT CHILI PEPPERS Mar 18 2ARIANA GRANDE Mar 24 2CHRIS STAPLETON Mar 27 2THE WEEKND Apr 25 2LIONEL RICHIE Apr 27 2NEIL DIAMOND Jul 24 2BRUNO MARS Jul 26 2ROGER WATERS Oct 28 THE ROXY 932 Granville, 604-331-7999. 2WESTWINDS, THE BIG COAST Dec 15 2DIEMONDS AND PIGEON PARK Dec 16 2TRAVIS JAMES, EMILY BARAN Dec 17 2ROBYN AND RYLEIGH Dec 18 2CHEAP THRILLS VOLUME SIX: GREG DRUMMOND Dec 22 2LAS DIVAS Dec 23 2AIR STRANGER, EVENT HORIZON Dec 30 ST. JAMES HALL 3214 W. 10th, 604-7363022. 2COOL YULE WITH VAN DJANGO Dec 18 2DAVID BECKINGHAM AND

TWIN BANDIT Jan 13 2JOHN REISCHMAN AND THE JAYBIRDS Jan 26 2ANNA AND ELIZABETH Feb 3 2STARMAN: AN ACOUSTIC EVENING OF BOWIE SONGS Feb 5 2CAJUN COUNTRY REVIVAL Feb 10 2ALASDAIR FRASER AND NATALIE HAAS Feb 12 2THE GONZALO BERGARA QUARTET Feb 13 2OLD MAN LUEDECKE Feb 17 2KIÉRAH Mar 3 VENUE 881 Granville, 604-646-0064. 2LITTLE INDIA Dec 16 2AESOP ROCK Dec 19 2NEUROSIS Dec 20 2NYE 2017 Dec 31 2TALIB KWELI Jan 25 2TRENTEMOLLER Mar 10 2LADYHAWKE Mar 24 VOGUE THEATRE 918 Granville, 604569-1144. 2US THE DUO Jan 27 2ADAM ANT Feb 4 2RUN THE JEWELS Feb 8 2VINCE STAPLES Feb 28 2SEBASTIAN MANISCALCO Mar 11 2MØ Mar 17 2ZUCCHERO Mar 22 2DAN + SHAY Mar 25 2BILL AND JOEL PLASKETT Apr 1 2KING GIZZARD AND THE LIZARD WIZARD Apr 10 2MAYDAY PARADE Apr 13 2SAID THE WHALE Apr 29 2THE MOTH May 20 WISE HALL 1882 Adanac, 604-254-5858. 2LIVING MADE EASY Dec 16 22016 HUNKERDOWN XMAS SHOWDOWN Dec 17 2PETUNIA AND THE VIPERS Dec 19 & 26 2NEW YEAR’S EVE PIZZA PARTY Dec 31 2JAMES MCCARTNEY May 13

OUT OF TOWN 2UPCOMING HIGHLIGHTS SNOWBOMBING CANADA Music by Kaskade, Ludacris, Bob Moses, Duke Dumont, Getter, Netsky, Oliver Heldens, Pete Tong, Snakehips, Thomas Jack, AC Slater, Ardalan, Branchez, Cid, Giraffage, Harrison Brome, Hudson Mohawke, J.Phlip, Lauren Lane, Mija, Peking Duk, Shaun Frank, Snbrn, Soul Clap, Tennyson, the Funk Hunters, Caleb Calloway, Dre Morel, Expendable Youth, Flipout, Generic, JP Valdes, Kempeh, Kris Harvey, Mat the Alien, Mikey Da Roza, Mikey Wong, My!Gay!Husband!, Peep This, Sam Demoe, Sara Sukkha, Seelo Mondo, Sivz, Skiitour, Slow Jam Sundays, Skla, Smalltown DJs, the Librarian, Whipped Cream, Wolves Can Riot, and Yurie. Apr 6-10, Sun Peaks Resort. Tix at www.snowbombingcanada.com/.

TIME OUT MUSIC LISTINGS are a public service provided free of charge, based on available space and editorial discretion. We can’t guarantee inclusion, and we give priority to events taking place within one week of publication. Submit listings online using the event-submission form at straight.com/AddEvent. Events that don’t make it into the paper due to space constraints will appear on the website.

Project will displace artists

he creator of a festival illuminating the longest night of the year is in the dark. Naomi Singer doesn’t know what’s happening after this year’s Winter Solstice Lantern Festival in Vancouver. While the founding artistic director of the Secret Lantern Society was in the thick of preparations for the event to be held on Wednesday (December 21), she received an eviction notice. “The building that we’re in, I always knew it was going to be torn down,” Singer told the Georgia Straight in a phone interview. “That The Secret Lantern Society will have to find a new home because its current wasn’t a question. It was always one is being demolished, to be replaced by a 19-storey condo tower. slated to be redeveloped.” But nothing could have readied her the concrete office building take the will make an announcement, like 10,000 square feet of new space, and for the timing of when she and her form of receding terraces. group are supposed to leave the Coal To the east of the future Ter- it sounds like a lot. But considering Harbour space that race House is the that I, my company, needs 2,000 they moved into 28-storey Pal- square feet, that goes pretty quickly.” One example is a project by Aquilini two years ago. ladio building, According to which has 88 Development on an entire city block Carlito Pablo the notice, they condo units and on Main Street between East 2nd and East 3rd Avenues. In November last have to vacate 1250 West Hastings four townhouses. Street at the end of this month, by Here’s how PortLiving describes year, council approved the rezoning New Year’s Eve day. She said that the project online: “Set to become application for the development of a when she contacted one of the man- the world’s tallest hybrid timber 12-storey condo building. The new Aquilini building will agers of PortLiving, the company that structure, offering cutting edge dewill redevelop the property, she was sign and material use, Terrace House have 256 apartments, of which 30 told they could wait until January 14. will set a new precedent for architec- will be given to the City of Vancouver “So they gave us a two-week ture and innovation not only in Van- to be used as social housing for artists. The development also includes extension, but there’s not enough couver, but around the world.” time. There’s no spaces out there,” For Singer, the matter of having a 4,000-square-foot workspace that Singer said. to find a new place reminds her of artist-residents can share. Singer hopes there is a place somePortLiving, a subsidiary of Port the tragic fire that claimed the lives Capital Group Inc., plans to demol- of 36 people in Oakland, California, where in the city for the Secret Lantern ish the three-storey office building on December 2. The fire destroyed a Society, but she hasn’t found it yet. Meantime, the 23rd annual Winat 1250 West Hastings and develop warehouse that was used by artists a condo tower. The 19-storey project, as a makeshift space for studios and ter Solstice Lantern Festival will be happening at Granville Island, Yalecalled Terrace House, will feature 20 residences. According to Singer, there needs to town, and Strathcona. luxury apartments. Its upper floors Singer is proud of the festival she will be made of wood, and there will be more spaces for artists as part of public amenities that come in return started in 1994 to celebrate the bebe retail on the ground floor. The design of the development will for development projects in Vancouver. ginning of the end of winter with “I know the city tries to support lanterns, songs, and dances: “It’s mirror the Evergreen Building on its west side. The trapezoidal Evergreen artists, and they’ve been working on about participation, having people Building was a landmark project creating new spaces. And I think it to gather together and really believe by renowned Vancouver architect worked for smaller individual art- that if we don’t do it, the sun won’t Arthur Erickson. The 10 storeys of ists,” she said. “I mean, the city come back.” -

Real Estate

604.730.7060

REAL ESTATE

CLASSADS@STRAIGHT.COM

REAL ESTATE

M Y.CO TSK STO ELO W.B

SEE ADS & OPEN HOUSE INFO at

realestate.straight.com ADVERTISING INQUIRY: call

604.730.7064

| kathy@straight.com

SPECTACULAR SQUAMISH

$529,900

PERFORMANCE REALTY

38358 EAGLEWIND BOULEVARD

2 BDRM/2 BATH TOWNHOME BEAUTIFUL VIEWS IN EVERY DIRECTION Enjoy quality finishing, including granite countertops, laminate floors & natural gas fireplace. This unit offers desirable southern exposure with stunning views of the surrounding mountains. In addition there is an oversized 2 car tandem garage, gorgeous master bedroom ensuite & a private fenced backyard with deck to enjoy the beautiful scenery. A short easy walk to schools, cafes, restaurants, the oceanfront, parks & Squamish’s extensive trail network. 30 MINS TO WEST VAN OR WHISTLER.

MLS#: R2125739

www.belostotsky.com 1-604-848-4279

PETER BELOSTOTSKY quality real estate services FOR SALE

NEW LISTING

STONEHOUSE

404 - 1234 PENDRELL STREET I $629,000 2 bed, 1 bath, 849 Sq. Ft. West End condo

1207 - 983 EAST HASTINGS ST I $349,900

Open kitchen with s/s appliances, tile backsplash & stone countertops, bamboo flooring, woodburning fireplace & lots of upgrades

1 bedroom, 1 bathroom, 453 Sq. Ft. condo in the highly anticipated Strathcona Village development in East Vancouver

Pets, rentals and BBQ’s allowed. One parking & one storage locker included

One parking & one storage locker included

OPEN HOUSE: SUN Dec 18th - 2 - 4 pm

Assignment of contract, completion scheduled for the end of 2017

T E A M

R E A L

E S T A T E

A D V I S O R S

604 255 7575 EMAILUS@STONEHOUSETEAM.COM

Sutton West Coast Realty I 301-1508 W Broadway

DECEMBER DECEMBER15 15––22 22//2016 2016 THE THEGEORGIA GEORGIASTRAIGHT STRAIGHT 43

straight stars December 15 to 21, 2016

hursday, emotions cover the gamut. If dealings with the public or the onslaught starts getting to you, know that as the day progresses, the stars do too. Putting on a good show for the weekend, the moon moves into sunny Leo on Friday. Saturday is the peak of the weekend for getting your kicks out of gifting and getting. Whatever you get up to, you should feel it is a good time and well timed. Sunday’s Virgo moon should put the day to good use, but if it doesn’t, there’s a reason for it. In the wee hours of Monday, Mars enters Pisces. This happens shortly before Mercury in Capricorn begins retrograde. Sleep patterns or dream cycles can be affected. Keep plans, talks, or schedule loose. Sunday/ Monday, something can be lost; activities can be derailed by the unforeseen. What was picking up steam can dissolve, disintegrate, or give way to something more urgent or more inspiring and timely. What is cleared away or shows up can be to the plus. Continuing through January, Mars in Pisces keeps romance, spirituality, openheartedness, and compassion on the front burner. It can also create more susceptibility to others, to our own imagination, to emotional currents, to collective trends, and to viruses and such. Ideally timed for the holidays and extending through the first week of January, Mercury retrograde in Capricorn takes us through a shift of

> BY ROSE MARCUS

priorities. The cycle serves to break expectations; keep it simple. As is down walls, barriers, resistance, justi- typical of Mercury retrograde, somefications, or rationales. To what end? one could let you down; plans change. In order to build it better. Take time, CANCER make time, use time—make it count. June 21–July 22 Quality over quantity is where it’s at. You could feel hit from all ARIES sides on Thursday. When stymied or March 20–April 20 undecided, try something outside of Thursday, emotions can your usual, but don’t go extreme. Frihit a sharp edge. Once it goes snap or day/Saturday, creativity and a more the light bulb flashes, you’re onto an confident sense of how to play it set upswing. Saturday is your best, most you up for reward. Sunday is good fun and rewarding of the weekend, for a catch-up with folks and for although Sunday will work well for picking up your own slack. Monday’s you too. Monday, something of sig- stars can alleviate some pressure, at nificance releases or gives way. Let it least temporarily. go, loosen your grip, forgo “should”, LEO surrender to the process and the day.

‫ﺑ‬

‫ﺎ‬ ‫ﺏ‬

‫ﺒ‬

TAURUS

April 20–May 21

Emotions run the show Thursday. Go by feel but try not to react or to jump to a hasty conclusion or decision. Friday through Sunday is mostly smooth going. Have fun at it. Monday, you can easily lose your focus. If plans or good intentions falter, simply go with the flow and move on to something else. Don’t force a thing.

‫ﺐ‬

GEMINI

May 21–June 21

Thursday could be something of a pressure cooker or a budget breaker. Work your way through one thing and one step at a time and you’ll get past it in a flash. Friday/ Saturday replenishes and revitalizes you. Socialize; have fun. Sunday, catch up and clean up. Monday, have no

July 22–August 23

You’ll feel it more than you show on Thursday, but you may not be able to keep a lid on it. On the other hand, once it’s out in the open, it’s practically solved. Refuelling you in all the best ways, the moon treks into Leo on Friday, but aim for Saturday for the fi nest the weekend has to offer.

‫ﺓ‬

VIRGO

August 23–September 23

Saturday is your best day for getting your to-do list out of the way. Sunday, the moon in Virgo can also keep you on a productive upswing, but it is the day before Mercury begins retrograde, so don’t stick to a tight agenda and go with the moment. The same advice covers the first half of the new week. Wednesday gets you over the hump.

‫ﺔ‬

LIBRA

September 23–October 23

‫ﺊ‬

CAPRICORN

December 21–January 20

You’ll pick up the pace quite well on Friday/Saturday. They are your best days to engage, create, and enjoy. Sunday/Monday is best suited to clearing it away. Although Mars into Pisces and the start of Mercury retrograde on Monday can find you less clear, less efficient, more exposed, more susceptible, it’s only temporary. You should find that by Tuesday/Wednesday, you’re already on a bounce-back.

Perseverance nets the payoff Thursday. Friday through Sunday runs a lot easier on you. Your wallet could get a better-than-average workout, but for the most part it’s fun. Saturday evening is your best for laughs or love. Mercury goes retrograde in Capricorn. Stop letting “should” or guilt run the show. Ease up. Reprioritize.

‫ﺕ‬

Despite the traffic and crowds, Friday/Saturday keeps your spirits bright. Shopping, sharing— yes, you’re well entertained. A special someone or a special event can be the highlight of your weekend. Sunday/ Monday, the little things add up, to the plus or minus. You’ll notice Mars exiting Aquarius more than Mercury’s turn to retrograde. Go with the flow!

SCORPIO

October 23–November 22

Take charge; do it your way; make the most of it Friday/Saturday. If you like it, they’ll like it too. Sunday/Monday, there’s lots of bits and pieces to get at. You can’t be too careful when Mercury begins retrograde. Double-check everything. Coinciding beautifully with the upcoming holidays, Mars in Pisces is one of your best transits, especially for affairs of the heart.

‫ﺖ‬

SAGITTARIUS

November 22–December 21

‫ﺋ‬ ‫ﺌ‬

AQUARIUS

January 20–February 18

PISCES

February 18–March 20

Watch for unexpected progress or a great brainstorm on Thursday. Friday/Saturday, the work can feel somewhat like play. Play can include a bit of work, too, but overall it’s a delightful, cash-in weekend. Mars into Pisces is good for fresh energy and an enthusiasm boost. Monday’s Mercury retrograde can redirect you or your day. It leads to advantage or improvement. -

Thursday, there’s stuff to work through. You may not be able to keep a tight lid on finances, work, or emotions, but once you’ve surpassed it, you’re a happy camper again. Friday/Saturday, you’ll get the show on the road very well. Sunday/Monday, take it as it comes. You are sure to feel a significant momentum shift as Mars B o o k a re a d i n g o r s i g n u p f o r treks into Pisces and Mercury retro- Rose’s free monthly newsletter at www.rosemarcus.com/astrolink/. grade begins.

CAREERS & EMPLOYMENT VANCOUVER TAP DANCE SOCIETY

TAP, JAZZ, HIP HOP CLASS

Trial Basis

FIRST TWO WEEKS

JANUARY

Adults, teens, youth-technique, choreography, history Professional faculty-variety of classes, for all skill levels. Find out what the tap buzz is all about!! GREAT EXERCISE, FUN & YOU LEARN A SKILL ◗ Classes begin week of Jan 4/17

www.vantapdance.com

604.253.0293

EMPLOYMENT

HOME & GARDEN SERVICES

ANNOUNCEMENTS

GAY PERSONALS

HOSPITALITY/FOOD SERVICE

CLEANERS

SERVICES

MOP-n-BUCKET.com

FREE CLASSIFIED AD

PERSONAL SHAVING SERVICES FOR MEN ★ SAFE ★ CLEAN ★ DISCREET ★

HIRING FULL-TIME MEAT CUTTER Retail & wholesale. $16.50 per hour, high school, 2 yrs. exp. speak basic to moderate English, excels at customer interaction and service, respectful, self-motivated and outgoing, team player mentality essential. DUTIES: cut, trim, and prepare standard cuts of meat for sale at self-serve counters or according to customers’ orders and for wholesale department, slice cooked meats using powered grinders and slicing machines, prepare special displays of meat, shape, lace and tie roasts and other meats, manage inventory, keep records of sales and determine amount, product line and freshness of products according to company and customer requirements & ensure food storage conditions are adequate. Cioffi’s Meat Market & Deli Ltd. 4158 East Hastings St. Burnaby, BC V5C 2J4 Email: wholesale1@cioffisgroup.com

PROFESSIONAL SERVICES

www.straight.com

ACCOUNTING

2 COOKS Needed for PinPin Restaurant

Professional Services Advertise your business in the Georgia Straight in print & online! Call 604-730-7064 for details

Fraser St, Vancouver At least HS Grad with 2 yrs. Experience. Permanent F/T, $16.00 per hour Duties: Prepare/Cook complete meals or individual Filipino/Chinese dishes & Supervise kitchen helpers. Maintain inventory, Records of food, Supplies and Equipment. May help clean work area. To apply please send resume to pinpinrestaurant@gmail.com

Cleaning Service: Move in/out, one time, AIRBNB Call Gem 604-724-4130

MOVING & STORAGE TwoGuysWithATruck.com Moving & Storage, Free EST. Visa Okay. 604-628-7136

NAHANEE MOVING

www.straight.com/classifieds click place an ad, then FREE ads •Ads must meet criteria in available categories. •Ads will be published online. •Ads will be published in print if space is available.

Professional Movers 604-782-3973

OTHER SERVICES TATTOO REMOVAL Consultation & 1st Treatment FREE. Visit www.ShrinkingInk.com & Book Online Today! 844-FADE INK (323-3465)

MUSIC

RECORDING STUDIOS M R & D Studios Vancouver's most comfortable 2"-24 track, ADAT & ProTools HD. Mastering $55/hr eng, prod. & arranger incl. 604-421-2988

REHEARSAL SPACE Renegade Productions Inc. www.renegadeproductions.net 604-685-0435 www.facebook.com/RPInc

Suna Studios Rehearsal M-F 6-12, Sat/Sun 12-12 East Van Hourly ($16.66/hour) & L/O, www.sunastudios.ca 604-563-5460

It is no accident we are #1

www.straight.com REPAIRS

BASONE • GUITAR SHOP •

EVERYTHING

Your ﬁrst call when an accident strikes

YOU THINK A

GUITAR

SHOP AY TOD CALL IL A B L E AVA

24/7 FREE CONSULTATION 604.737.3300 720 Robson Street, 5th Floor Vancouver, BC V6Z 1A1

warnetthallen.com 44 THE GEORGIA STRAIGHT DECEMBER 15 – 22 / 2016

LD BE! SHOU

318 E. 5th Ave • 604.677.0311

BASONEGUITARS.COM

MUSICIANS WANTED The Main on Main St. is looking for Wednesday through Saturday night acts. All Genres welcome. For more info email mainbooking@hotmail.com

Mr. BALDNUTZ 604-767-8625

MASSAGE BODYWORK MASSAGE In a peaceful setting in Langley Because you deserve it! 9am - 8pm

Robert 604-857-9571

Curious? Straight?

M2M Erotic Massage Yaletown Ric 604-719-3433

CuriousButStraight.com NAMASTE HEALING TOUCH MASSAGE M4M Massage customized to meet your needs. In calls only.10am-10pm West End 778-888-5884

Sensual Massage

Experienced, discreet, and clean for men only by a mature male. 9 am to 10 pm in-calls only. Student rates. Burrard & 6th

Alex 778-828-4683

PERSONALS

TANTRA

Tantra Massage

Absolutely Wonderful, Healing & Joyful!

Zara 604-222-4178 Jericho Celebrate Change and Love It! ELIMINATE SEXUAL ISSUES LIKE PE and ED til Dec 31st EVERY 2hrs/$240 GETS 1hr FREE NO LIMIT! 6hrs +3 FREE $720 –Use THRU 2017

SacredTantraMassage.com NOW in RICHMOND No. 2 Rd / Westminster

604-788-7723 Divinea 8am-8pm Healing for Sexual Problems Control Ejaculation, Maintain Erection, Stop Herpes $120. herbalbathclinic.com, 604-271-4148

BODYWORK COMPASSIONATE and FEMININE Certified massage and sensual bodywork Beautiful, quiet studio Main and Broadway. 778-863-1852 blissfulgrace.com

............................................................................................................................................................... CLASSIFIEDS SMART BEAUTY SPA BDSM $

Gemini Studio EXCELLENT MASSAGE SPECIAL PACKAGES

Reg $ 120

FALL SPECIAL

Sensual Domination & BDSM Asian. Prostate & Strap On play, Fetishes. Duos 11am-10pm 604-726-3266 D/T crystalxox.com

BODY SCRUB (Incl. 45 min. Hot oil massage) NOW $

75 MIN

D-768 Princess St., New Westminster (@ 8th St. between 6th & 7th Ave behind Save-On Foods)

COMFY WELLNESS SPA 3272 W. Broadway

604.523.6689

(& Blenheim)

604-558-1608 WWW.

★ Relieve Roadrage ★

COMFYSPA .CA

Lotus Beauty Spa

202-1037 W.Broadway 604-739-3998 Hotel Service

NEW GIRLS

I Spa

$ 70 /30 mins (incl. tips)

19+ SWEET GIRLS

10:30am-8pm Daily 5336 Victoria Dr. Vancouver

A/C AVAILABLE 604.327.8800

10AM - 10 PM Hiring

Relaxation 28/50 MIN OceanCentre

1/2hr $29 2hr/$79. Facial $38. Wax $6 up

604-304-0893 or 604-248-2233

Lisa Great Mix - Certificated Nice Female Masseuse in Richmond provides effective deep tissue, relaxation, sensual & prostate health maintenance massage. Facial & scrub etc available. Info @ www.healthyaction.ca Text/call @

604.568.9238

778-871-9809

$80/30 min.(incl.tips)

Massage Beauty Care at Marpole

#3-3490 Kingsway

604.566.0700

NEAR JOYCE NEXT DOOR TO SUBWAY

8652 Granville St. Hiring

Aqua Spa

EMPLOYMENT

BLISSFUL MASSAGE

CoverGirlEscorts.com is now Hiring.

Promo $30/45 mins

Seeking all nationalities 19+ No experience necessary.

Call 604-438-7119

1 FREE AFTER 5 SESSIONS!

NEW!!! 50% OFF

MASSAGE

$62/30MINS,$77/50MINS (INCL.TIPS),

AMAZING ASIAN MASSAGE

SPECIAL 4 HANDS $25/30MINS (ONE GIRL FREE) BODY SCRUB $48/50MINS (REG$100) NEW!PROSTATE TREATMENT

GRAND OPENING! $120/40 min Package, open 7 days 10 am - 10 pm. 604-270-6891 12551 Vickers Way, Richmond, close to IKEA

20 E/Pender $60

778-323-0002

BBY. $40 & up! No F/S 10am - 8pm 604-619-7453

10am - 2am. 778-322-1583

PANTERA SPA

HONG KONG STYLE MASSAGE Perfect SensualOil Body Massage. 1Hr/$80. 45min/$60, 30min/$50 INC. TIP 223 W/ Broadway. (2blks East of Cambie) 6am - 1am. 7 days

Good Price, Good Service D931 Brunette Ave. 7 Days a Week

Please Call Lini 778-668-2981

NEW ASIAN GIRL E/Van 778-708-2728 Sexy Thai Girl Jessica Burnaby 604-336-4601 MERIDIAN SPA LTD.

604.553.0909

Romance Relaxation Spa

BMWC Massage Relaxation

604-780-6268

3468 E.Hastings/Skeena. Van. Front & Back door entrance. Free Parking

D OPENING! ! ND GRAN TION NEW RENOVA

± ±

New Management by Miko. 4536 Hastings St. Burnaby near Willingdon Ave.

HIRING

BACK ENTRANCE + FREE PARKING

11AM - MIDNIGHT 604-299-1514

3482 Main Street & 18th Ave

Diamond Bodycare

LINGERIE FRI & SAT OPEN TO CLOSE

BEST MASSAGE IN TOWN

604.436.3131

3671 EAST HASTINGS

5-3490 Kingsway, Van.

www.greatpharaoh.com

30 min / $30

604-568-0123

ESTABLISHED 1993 HIRING: 778.893.4439

NOW HIRING

CENTRE

❀

LOTS OF PARKING AT THE REAR

$100 ANGEL TOUCH TREAT YYOURSELF SPECIAL DEEP TISSUE T S YUM!

✿

MASSAGE $30

FACIAL

$30 UP

36D-29-36 7FF

ROOM 2 ǧ 4334 FRASER ST, VAN

Y FUN & FR IENDL

Parking Available Near No Frills

INCALL or OUT • BUR/COQ/VAN

778.316.2660

HAPPY HOUR WEEKDAYS

36DDD 5’9 10”ff $100 15 min ★ $200 hh $300 hr $400 Outcall

Over 20 yrs exp. 604 739 6002 Mon-Fri Kitsilano

MASSAGE $60/30 mins (incl tips)

Skype or FaceTime Shows Available

647★299 ★5569

BATH HOUSES

121 W. Broadway

www.theswedishtouch.com

at Manitoba

Always Hiring | Accepting all major CC’s

Touch

Best Relaxation Hot, Beautiful, Sweet (19+) Girls VICTORIA DRIVE

10am -

MIDNIGHT

BACK ENTRANCE

Serving Van. for 19 years! Best Experience! Best Service! Best Choice! Steam Room and Sauna! Free underground parking. NOW

HIRING

604 . 998 . 4885

2070 2070 7 W. W. 10 10thh A Ave v V ve Van an an

60 4 7 604 738 38 3 3302 3 02

HIRING

PHOENIX Platinum Club FREE MASSAGE

New Back Door Entrance from Underground Parking

STEAM 1

BLACKOUT PARTIES NOW TWICE A MONTH SUNDAY DEC 18TH & SATURDAY JAN 14TH 11AM ‘TIL 7PM

New Westminster, 430 Columbia Street 604 . 540 . 2117

Mon-Fri • 10am-Midnite Sat-Sun • 12pm-Midnite

www.miyabeauty.com

miyabeauty@hotmail.com

EVERY DAY flat rate pricing! Anytime 24/7 Lockers $12 | Rooms from $20

WWW.STEAM1.COM

4th Floor 595 Hornby St, Van.

604.875.8844

MEN’S BATH HOUSE

Drop In Fees May Apply Now no ID needed for entry

604-681-0823

OPENING MIYA GRAND $10 OFF

STEAM 1

Anonymous Check In Avail • All Rates with Current Membership

5pm - 7pm

BEAUTY SENSATIONAL MASSAGE

HIRING

ts Visiting!

NURTURING TOUCH

E. 49th Ave & Victoria Dr. 10am - 8:30pm • HIRING 604.500.9082 • 778.379.7736

Monday - Friday 10am - 2pm & Saturday & Sunday 12pm - 4pm

604-558-0228

TRANSEXUALDREAMSCAPE.COM

Metrotown (private) 10:00AM - 7:00PM

GREAT ASIAN MASSAGE 604-782-9338 Surrey

EARLY BIRD SPECIAL

(CLOSE TO TYNE ST.)

$40 UP

ORIENTAL RELAXATION MASSAGE 778-708-8551

SEXY, YOUNG (19+) HOT + BEAUTIFUL

3517 Kingsway, Van.

BODY WRAP

778.788.3039 | 9:30am-9pm

HIRING

604.873.9890

MASSAGE

1050 Marine Dr. North Van

Open from 10am

Professional Massage Waxing $25 up

(Gate at East Side of Front Door)

SERVING NORTH VANCOUVER FOR 16 YEARS

Grand Opening • $30/30min.

BUTTERFLY TERFLY T ERFLY MASSAGE MASSA A

New Staff! Relaxation Massage. 604-985-4969 HIRING

www.straight.com

4969 Duchess St. Van. Just off Kingsway NOW HIRING Between Earles & Slocan

New Star Massage

CHINESE BEAUTY - HELEN Warm & loving - complete body massage. All incl. Reasonable low price. R/mond new home.

FREE UNDERGROUND PARKING

604.986.8650

604.430.3060

Grand Opening

4095 Oak St. Vancouver 604-266-6800

778.628.3302

CHINESE, JAPANESE & KOREAN MASSAGE

$80/30 MIN (INCL. TIPS)

CHINESE, THAI, SPANISH & CAUCASIAN GIRLS

JAPANESE $60

2622 West Broadway, Van. Near Trafalgar St.

Lily’s Bodycare

604-738-6222

RAINBOW MASSAGE

604-568-6601

Elmridge Way Richmond 1 hr / $40 778-990-8136

Visit 10 Times & Get 2 FREE! Healthy Infrared Sauna (FREE)

COCO'S THAI MASSAGE

5 MINS FROM D/T

8642 Granville St., Vancouver

PROFESSIONAL MASSAGE

BEST SERVICE BEST CHOICE

Hiring

#100 - 1727 WEST BROADWAY

NEW TEAM • NEW MANAGEMENT 5 DIFFERENT GIRLS DAILY

(incl. tips)

604.510.6689

DAY SPECIAL ✦

Different Packages For Sale Underground Parking

LUXURY • FREE SHOWER • FREE PARKING

$80/30min

20437 Douglas Crescent, Langley (@ 204th St. beside HomeHardware) Front & Back Door Entrance Free Parking

✦ ALL

1st Time Visit HIRING

FOR NEW CLIENTS Mon - Fri 12pm - 6pm

2263 KINGSWAY

FREE PARKING HOTEL SERVICE

NANAIMO

6043770028

www.platinumclub.nett

604 683 2582

426 Homer St., Vancouver We’re Hiring! DECEMBER 15 – 22 / 2016 THE GEORGIA STRAIGHT 45

CLASSIFIEDS ................................................................................................................................................................

Sa Sa Massage HIGH CLASS FEMALE ESCORTS & INTIMATE COMPANIONS

TOKYO Body

Massage NOW

VARIETY OF GIRLS (19+) V.I.P. ROOM $80/30 MIN INCL. TIPS 3519 KINGSWAY, VAN NEAR BOUNDARY • HIRING

INTERVIEWS DAILY C OV E RGI R LE S C ORT S .C OM

$100

All I've got on is the Radio

604

(Across Macpherson Ave)

PROSPER City

JAPANESE

BETTER

Oak St. vancouver

than

BEST

778.321.2209

3488 MAIN ST. @ 19TH AVE 10 AM TO 10 PM

604 879 5769

Rose Body Massage 49 E. Broadway @ Quebec St. open 7days/9am-midnight

Emax Massage

HI N OW RI NG

TIGERSpa

WE HAVE AVE MIXED MIXED, ASIAN, CAUCASIAN MASSEUSES WHO WILL GIVE YOU THE BEST, MOST RELAXING MASSAGE.

4532 MAIN ST. (Main + 29 th), VAN. OPEN EVERYDAY: 10am-10pm

1-604-639-3040 Seattle: 206-576-1825

FANTASTIC ASIAN GODDESS Beyond your expectation! 10am - 2am In/Out Calls

778-318-3607 or 604-360-1833

604-957-1030 MING, Nice & Mature. NEW..NEW..NEW..MASSAGE Chinese, Korean, Japanese, Vietnamese & Philippines Girls (19+) In/Out calls

604-600-6558 Sweet & Petite Hot Mature ♥ Female loves to pamper!♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ REASONABLE RATES ♥ ♥ ♥ In/Out calls. Early risers welcome!

Kayla 604-873-2551 MATURE HOT SEXY WILD ASIAN (45+) Sexy, full-figured Asian. PHONE SEX TOO! JUICY PLUMP BUTT! Natural 40E'S. Lonely? Let's chat & a little more? Lily 778-714-1018 In/Out.

World Class Breasts

Genuinely Spectacular NATURAL G CUP! Come visit Hooter Heaven! Canada's #1 Erotic Destination.

Private 778-838-9094 GRAND OPENING! Best Massage Every day different female practitioners! 3322 Main St. 604-872-1702

❤ 604-704-42 45 ❤

VIP DISCREET ET

FUN Real Picc

604 728.8161 61 www.ClassyAngel.com

Young

NEW W

Asian Girl 100% REAL★ IIn/Out /O t callll

778.858.0220 E/Vancouver

GENTLEMEN

#3 - 3003 Kingsway @ Rupert, Van. - N/E Corner

LIVE. DISCREET. UNCENSORED.

604-710-1630 YOUR: MARGO MOCHA MONROE

DISCREET ATTRACTIVE MATURE EUROPEAN LADY OFFERS DELIGHTFUL RELAXATION SESSIONS.

604-568-5255

The

Let it snow... Let it snow... Let it snow !!

RILEY 604.773.8876

604-568-2248

There’s only one place to go...

604-671-2345 BLACK EXOTIC MIX. BEAUTIFUL & BUSTY, SENSUAL& SWEET. EXPECT UNRUSHED PASSION! WELL-ESTABLISHED, SAFE PLAY & PRIVATE. DOWNTOWN.

101-5623, Imperial St. BBY

COQUITLAM VIXEN

NAUGHTY COUGAR 36D - 26 - 36. 36th@ Victoria

HIRING

438-8979

604.433.6833

READY OR NOT HERE I AM! Sexy, Friendly, Curvy & Busty! NO RESTRICTIONS! Open-minded & ready to please! Discretion guaranteed! Serious callers only. 778-714-0824

778.379.5969

604-451-0175 EuropeanLady.ca www.EuropeanLady.ca

NEW HOT ASIAN GODDESS NO RESTRICTIONS! BEST SERVICES! Friendly & Sexy Van/Burnaby/Surrey. HIRING NOW!

IN/OUT 778-919-0140

BLACK is BETTER!!

FULL BODY MASSAGE! Sexy & Friendly. 33yrs, 140 lbs, 38D-25-34. In/Out by appt. only.

!!XMAS SPECIAL!! Burnaby 604-364-1462

Fun Classy Blonde Beauty In calls & Out calls locally Private upscale condo

www.funlovinxoxo.me

funlovinxoxo.me 604-773-8876

50% OFF BEST BBES BE EST ST CCHINESE HHINESE HIN INESE MASSAGE $28/45 min. i 4 Hands $38/30 min. $57/45 min. Many Sweet & Sexy Asian Girls Luxurious Spa 1 FREE Session after 5

COMPANION

Near Oakridge Mall 24hr Chinese.w41st & Cambie.

778-710-8828 NEW HOT ASIAN GIRLS No Restrictions. Good Service!

5531 Victoria Dr. & 40th Ave, Vancouver | 604-564-1333

Joyce & Kingsway. 24 Hrs.

Victoria, BC: 250-220-3334

GET YOUR FREE TRIAL TODAY Ahora en Español/18+

More local numbers: 1.800.550.0618 interactivemale.com

778-960-7875

PHONE SERVICES

SARAH in SURREY

NEW GREAT HOURS!! 11:30am - 9pm. Sometimes weekends. I'm well proportioned, HOT& READY with a BIG BOOTY! 38 yrs old. Kind, Clean, Pretty & love to enjoy! Let's have an amazing non-rushed experience in my classy apt. Fetish by request. No text or Blkd. calls. Sarah 604-441-5440 Appts preferred.

Open desires... Hidden identities... WEBSITES

covergirlescorts.com www.platinumclub.net www.EuropeanLady.ca www.sacredtantramassage.com www.stress-awaybodycare.ca

Try FREE Now: 604-639-3011 More Local Numbers: 1-800-700-6666

redhotdateline.com 18+

crystalxox.com WWW.FOXDEN.CA www.greatpharaoh.com www.theswedishtouch.com

www.ClassyAngel.com 46 THE GEORGIA STRAIGHT DECEMBER 15 – 22 / 2016

savage love Perhaps you’re not the best person to ask, being a cis white man, but as a queer woman of colour, the election had an extremely detrimental effect on my relationships with my white partners. I love and care for them, but looking at those results has me wondering why the fuck they didn’t do better in reaching out to their shitty relatives? I’m sick of living at the whim of white America. I’m aware this is the blame stage of processing, but it’s left me unable to orgasm with my white partners. I’m really struggling with what Trump means for me and others who look like me. I know my queer white partners aren’t exempt from the ramifications of this, but I wish they had done better. Respond however you like.

(Only eight percent of African Americans voted for Trump.) The shitty and unfathomable votes of some POC— and some queers (WTF, 14 percenters?)—doesn’t get your white partners off the orgasm-killing hook. It’s possible your white queer partners didn’t do enough to persuade their families back in Clinton County, Iowa, to vote against hatred, fascism, racism, and Trump. (Trump won Clinton County, Iowa, by five depressing points.) Like you, DONE, I’m struggling with what this election means. I’m not going to tell you what to do, or who to do, or how to process the election. I am going to tell you to talk with all your partners about your fears and your anger, and I encourage you to do whatever and whoever > DEVASTATED OVER NATIONAL feels right going forward. ELECTION

First and most importantly, DONE, you don’t have to fuck anyone you don’t wanna fuck—period, the end, fi n, full stop, terminus—but we owe it to ourselves to be thoughtful about who we’re fucking, who we aren’t, and why. Data isn’t a turn-on for most people, DONE, and I’m not suggesting the data I’m about to cite obligates you to fuck anyone. But queer voters (a group that includes millions of people of colour) didn’t just reject Trump, they did so by wider margins than some communities of colour (groups that include millions of queers). While 14 percent of LGBT voters backed Trump, 28 percent of Latino voters and 19 percent of AsianAmerican voters backed Trump.

> BY DAN SAVAGE You gift a dildo to someone through a cooperating, woman-friendly, progressive sex-toy shop, and that person gifts a dildo to someone else, and so on. A portion of the proceeds for each gifted dildo goes to groups fighting Trump’s agenda and a card gets sent to Trump letting him know a dildo was gifted to a deserving orifice in his name and a worthy organization benefited. Nearly 100,000 people have made donations to Planned Parenthood in Mike Pence’s name since the election, and that’s made news. This could too, DILDO. If someone wants to run with this idea, I’ve purchased the URL march ofdildos.com. Get in touch, show me your plan, and I’ll gift the URL to you.

My wife enjoys being submissive and getting spanked. A few weeks ago, she asked to put that part of our sex play on hold. The ugliness of Trump’s sexual aggressions made her feel strange. We joked about the fun we’d have after the election. Well, here we are, and that asshole and his misogyny are going to be front and centre for the next four years. How do we get back to being us?

If the GOP can send a huge prick like Donald J. Trump to the White House, why can’t we send our own pricks? My modest proposal: a coordinated effort to send thousands of dildos to Trump on January 21— enough dildos to make news and get under his thin skin. Th is coordinated effort would be supplied and vetted > UPSETTING NEWS SINCERELY by responsible, women-friendly sex UNNERVES BEST SPOUSE shops with a portion of the proceeds going to Planned Parenthood, LGBT Voting rights, health care, public charities, and the ACLU. > DONALD IS LOATHSOMELY, education, legal pot, police reform, a DISASTROUSLY OUTRAGEOUS habitable planet, LGBT equality, our undocumented friends, coworkers, I like the way your mind works, DIL- and lovers—the Trump misadminisDO, but your plan would result in tration is going to take so much from good dildos going to waste. So perhaps us, UNSUBS. We can’t let them take we should do a dildo version of the our kinks, too. Encourage your wife ice-bucket-challenge thing instead? to feel the shit out of her feelings and

The Georgia Straight Confessions, an outlet for submitting revelations about your private lives—or for the voyeurs among us who want to read what other people have disclosed.

can do a lot of damage over four years, of course, but breaking his term into 100-day increments, and making each hundredth day a day of action, is a great idea. If someone out there wants to pick up OHDAAT’s idea and run with it, I purchased the URL TrumpMinus100.com. Get in I have an idea for something that touch, show me your plan, and I’ll I think might make it a bit easier for pass the URL on to you. us to survive Trump. What if there were “Trump Minus 100” parties? In response to Peaceful ProEvery time we get another 100 days tester from a couple of weeks ago— closer to the end of the Trump/ the reader who suggested protesting Pence administration, we have a get- at Trump’s inauguration—everytogether to celebrate, commiserate, one needs to know that a protest protest, raise money, whatever. The is already planned! It’s called the first party would be just a few days Women’s March on Washington, but before the inauguration—to stiffen all genders are welcome, and local people’s resolve—and then three or protests are being organized around four parties a year after that. Here is the country for those who can’t make how the dates fall out: Sunday, Janu- it to Washington, D.C. > PROTESTING IN MINNESOTA ary 15, 2017 (1,100 days left); Tuesday, April 25, 2017 (1,000 days left); Thursday, August 3, 2017 (900 days Thanks for sharing, PIM! left); Saturday, November 11, 2017 (800 days left); Monday, February CONFIDENTIAL TO OAKLAND: 19, 2018 (700 days left); Wednesday, My heart goes out to all the lovers, May 30, 2018 (600 days left); Friday, friends, family members, and artSeptember 7, 2018 (500 days left); istic collaborators of the musicians, Sunday, December 16, 2018 (400 days artists, poets, writers, filmmakers, left); Tuesday, March 26, 2019 (300 and students who lost their lives days left); Thursday, July 4, 2019 (200 in the fire at the Ghost Ship. Terry days left and the Fourth of July!); and I made a donation to the Fire Saturday, October 12, 2019 (100 days Relief Fund for Victims of Ghostleft); Monday, January 20, 2020 (0 ship Oakland Fire at YouCaring. com. Please consider making a dodays left). What do you think? > ONE HUNDRED DAYS AT A TIME nation if you can. don’t pressure her or rush her—and if she needs to put spanking on hold for the next four years, I wouldn’t blame her and you shouldn’t shame her. In the meantime, UNSUBS, maybe spanking your ass would make her feel better?

Something about seeing the next four years broken up into 12—just 12!—100-day chunks makes it seem less daunting. Orange Julius Caesar

> Go on-line to read hundreds of I Saw You posts or to respond to a message < A TRIANGLE-TATTOOED STAFF AT CACTUS CLUB CAFE

I SAW A: I AM A: WHEN: DECEMBER 11, 2016 WHERE: Cactus Club Cafe

Scan to confess Whistler Why is everything an additional expense an hour and a half away? Regular spa visits are 120 here, but 155 there? Snowshoeing is 75 here, but 95 there? Don’t even get me started on hotel prices. It’s beyond me why we have to pay more when I’m not a skier, snowboarder or winter enthusiast.

Data Mine This! No, I’m not going to take and use your store’s rewards card just to save some change here and there. I know for a fact that you are tracking what, when, and how often and much of certain products I buy, and that’s none of your business! I’m not going to be another number for your schemes.

Amy Schumer

Five of my good-dorky friends and I had dinner last night - it was a busy Sunday night. You were my server. You touched lightly on my arms. Ever since I was little I hated touching. However, I didn’t hate it. I was just bit anxious. And I did/said dumb things the whole time. All I wanted to tell you is how beautiful you are [Just letting you know you are like a 20 out of 10.

AWESOME AND CUTE BARISTA

I SAW A: I AM A: WHEN: DECEMBER 12, 2016 WHERE: Starbucks at Cambie and 19th Me: guy with curly hair; winter jacket, who ordered a glass of water. You: supercute barista with pink highlights. Wish I could have spared a moment to chat with you. Perhaps we could introduce ourselves over coffee (preferably at a location other than Starbucks)?

I really want to like her, but I just don’t think she’s funny or remarkable at all.

THE LAMPLIGHTER

Serial confessor

I SAW A: I AM A: WHEN: DECEMBER 10, 2016 WHERE: The Lamplighter

Sometimes I type confessions in, but don’t post them. I just did it twice, because the ideas weren’t clear enough and I like to keep my standards up.

How I get through my day My current coping mechanism consists of telling myself that all the people who are giving me a hard time are going to die someday; with any luck, before me.

It was a night of dancing and fun. I was dancing with a friend and you came up and were dancing. At one point you put your arm on my shoulder and we looked at each other. Scrunched up our noses. Then kissed and went out separate ways. You were wearing a suit.

PULP FICTION BOOKS

Childless My confession is I’m really glad my life didn’t turn out how I hoped it would. When I was 20, I honestly believed marriage and babies would make me happy and that I would never want more than that. Twenty years later, I see my friends with their spouses and kids and I feel a sense of relief that their lives are not mine.

Visit

to post a Confession

Give the Savage Lovecast Magnum as a gift: savagelovecast.com. Email: mail @savagelove.net. Follow Dan on Twitter @fakedansavage.

I SAW A: I AM A: WHEN: DECEMBER 10, 2016 WHERE: Main Street Pulp Fiction Books. This is a total long shot. I saw you @ Pulp Fiction books on Main today around 1:30 - ish. You were wearing a black toque and black jacket - I think. You were shorter than me. We made eye contact twice. Ugh. This is useless. No one reads these.

LOCKED EYES WHILE CROSSING STREET ON DEC 08

I SAW A: I AM A: WHEN: DECEMBER 8, 2016 WHERE: Corner of Pacific and Hornby I was the guy wearing a black pea-coat waiting for the light to turn at the corner of Pacific and Hornby around noon on Dec 08 when I first noticed you looking at me from across the street. Our eyes remained locked when we both crossed the street and walked past each other. If I wasn’t on my way to a lunch meeting, I would have turned around and tried to talk to you. If for some strange cosmic reason that you see this post, I would love to take you out.

GREAT SMILE ON THE SNOWY NUMBER 9

I SAW A: I AM A: WHEN: DECEMBER 9, 2016 WHERE: Broadway & Cambie Normally I hop on the 99, but I didn’t want to wait in the cold so I got on the 9 and I’m glad I did ‘cause your smile brightened my day. I was bundled up in about 13 different layers and you were dressed real sharp with shiny black shoes that didn’t look like they’d hold up too well in the snow. We kept exchanging looks, even after we got off the bus... I should have stopped and said hi. So, hi. Drink sometime?

BOULEVARD OF BROKEN DREAMS?

I SAW A: I AM A: WHEN: DECEMBER 3, 2016 WHERE: Boulevard Restaurant, Burrard Saturday, Dec. 3rd 2016: I sat down for desserts at Boulevard with a friend to catch up before the holiday break. I looked over his shoulder and our eyes met. We smiled and went back to our conversations, but all night we caught our eyes glancing at the other. Especially when you walked past my table. I felt rude interrupting your time with your friend, but knew I may never see you again. I was so close to asking if I could share your cab with you even though I live half a block from the restaurant. I hope I can talk with you over a drink someday. Until then, thanks for the smiles.

TOQUE CRAFT FAIR

I SAW A: I AM A: WHEN: DECEMBER 3, 2016 WHERE: Western front You may have noticed me staring because I was trying to figure out where I knew you from. We met at the coffee shop you worked at in Victoria almost 10 years ago. You played the banjo and gave me a David Berman poetry book that I adored. I can’t believe it didn’t click until just now, I would have loved to give you a hug.

BEAUTIFUL ASIAN WOMAN @TIMMY’S

I SAW A: I AM A: WHEN: DECEMBER 9, 2016 WHERE: Timmy’s on Broadway and Main

A SATURDAY MORNING FERRY TO VICTORIA

I SAW A: I AM A: WHEN: DECEMBER 3, 2016 WHERE: BC Ferries I was with my family in the cafeteria of a ferry leaving from Tsawwasen to Swartz Bay on Saturday morning. You were sitting at a table on your own working on your computer. We smiled at each other and when it was time to go back to our vehicles I walked by and told you to have a good day hoping that you would ask me for my number. I was disappointed that I didn’t just ask you realizing that it might have been intimidating that I was with my entire family. Hoping you see this and contact me.

Friday, 6pm @Timmy’s on Broadway and Main. You, a stunningly gorgeous Asian woman, were sitting in a booth watching a movie on your phone escaping the cold, damp, slushy weather. You were wearing a parka and black fur lined the hood, and you were wearing grey puffy winter boots. You had long brown hair and finger nails that looked as though they were just done. Every so often you looked up from your screen and I just had to steal a glance because you looked so pretty. Me? I was sitting in the next booth wearing a black jacket with a hood, and I was sipping coffee and reading a book the old fashioned way. Can I interest you in a another cup of Coffee at Timmy’s? You could tell me about your movie and I could get your opinion of my book. Then another coffee...

IF THERE’S ANYTHING MORE EDGY THAN YALETOWN, IT’S THESE POSTS...

L4 RED CROSS VOLUNTEER TODAY

DID I IMAGINE IT?

I SAW A: I AM A: WHEN: DECEMBER 4, 2016 WHERE: 620 Bus I think we talked about four different cities. My stop came up while you were talking about your landlord, so it goes. I realized after that it was a damn decent conversation and also that I didn’t know your name.

GEOLOGIST IN THE YUKON

I SAW A: I AM A: WHEN: AUGUST 7, 2016 WHERE: Dawson City Yukon YOU: W- geologist from Surrey in Dawson first week of August ME: Y- tattooed lady wrestler, met at the Pit. Coming to Van, Round 2?

I SAW A: I AM A: WHEN: DECEMBER 6, 2016 WHERE: East Kent Ave 1083

I SAW A: I AM A: WHEN: DECEMBER 2, 2016 WHERE: Vancouver Art Gallery

I know this is random but you visited my office together with an Indian guy. I was the person with the slippers that you complimented and then I gave you some bubble wrap to pop XP. I really liked your bubbly personality and was wondering if you were down to hangout sometime? (if you ever see this lol)

You used to come in to my work fairly often. We would chat and you would ask me very direct questions. Last time I told you my family up north has guns, and I think I freaked you out. Ran into you recently at an opening, but it looked like you were on a date already. Are you flirting with me? Am I imagining it?

Visit straight.com to post your FREE I Saw You _ DECEMBER 15 – 22 / 2016 THE GEORGIA STRAIGHT 47

This is not an offering for sale. Any such offerings can only be made with a Disclosure Statement, E.&.E.O.

48 THE GEORGIA STRAIGHT DECEMBER 15 â&#x20AC;&#x201C; 22 / 2016