Who Caresfor the OarerP

There are surgical wards for people requiring surgery, geriatric wards for the sick elderly and paediatric wards for sick children. Hospital admissions are traumatic for both the patient and family. It can become even more stressful if the patient is transferred to other hospitals such as Cadiz or the UK.These are wonderful hospi tals with state of the art facilities but the distance from a loved one is a great source of stress. Trying to hold yourself and your family together with the demands of work,schools and normal life in general makes you think that the pillars of Hercu les should be in your living room.

There are many services, profes sionals and facilities for the care of the injured,sick and infirm but who cares for the carer? Indeed why should the carer need caring for?

The short answer is that we are all human and none of us has all the answers, limitless strength, boundless patience and endless resources to deal with life's battles and storms. A particularly difficult area of healthcare in this respect is Mental Healthcare.

The symptoms and causes are not always as obvious as a broken leg or a fever with a time line for treatment and eventual reha bilitation. Mental illnesses such as Alzheimer's Disease (Dementia), or Schizophrenia can be long term and degenerative illnesses. Tragi cally this can be a very slow torture for the people that love them, but remember these are still the same people whether they remember you or not, whether they talk to you or not or whether they are aggressive to you or not.

"They are also frightened by what is happening to them and the

by Jenny Ndiweni

unfamiliarity of the people and sur roundings. Notwithstanding every human being can feel the warmth of genuine love and affection even if they do not recognise who it is com ing from so do not hold back.

There is still a lot of stigma attcTched to Mental Illness and Mental Institutions. The facilities are fore boding, not to protect society from the mentally ill but rather to protect them from society. Many times I have walked down Main Street seeing people back away from these 'slightly odd people'or poke fun at them just to laugh at the torrent of abuse that is guaranteed to follow. The stigma should not be attached to mental illness but more to how general society treats people with mental illness.

As carer, it is important to re member that your relative is receiv ing the best professional care for their particular illness and that you are developing the best possible coping strategies. Everyone would like to think, in the case of parents, that as they loved and looked after you as a child when you were vul nerable, you would do the same for them as they become elderly and infirm. In the case of children, that they would receive unconditional love and support for as long as you draw breath. Ideally both of these commitments would be met with life long gratitude. I am afraid that for the vast majority of us the reality is rather different

Even though the staff of the GHA Mental Health department are very hard working committed professionals the trauma of seeing your relative admitted to a Mental Health facility is emotionally shat tering. Feelings of guilt for not fulfilling the promise you made to yourself, feelings of anger toward the relative for developing such an illness and the guilt that goes with that, and fear that you might develop the same illness later in life. Anger at the hospital and staff for being necessary.

There is also premature bereave ment because the strong vibrant person that you have grown up with is disappearing before your very eyes or grief at the loss of a promising future and the fading of future dreams.

Sometimes these emotions can produce very aggressive behaviour bordering on abuse towards the staff of the facility, who in fact care very deeply about all of the patients in their care.One also has to be care ful not to alienate other members of the family who may wish to help but do not quite know how to.

Mental Illness affects people from all strata of society and re spects no cultural boundaries. It should come as no surprise that the treatment tends to be the same no matter where you are from — all that changes is the brand name on the bed linen and the flowers in the foyer.

What I am really getting at is that in all situations the patient is well looked after and catered for whereas the relatives are not.

Think about yourself for a while, guilt free. Are your thoughts and emotions going round in a mael strom of confusion? Counselling can take you out of the storm and allow you time and non-judge mental support to work together to rationalise and separate the emotions from the reality.

There may be past issues that you have always wanted to deal with but with the onset of mental illness you will not now be able to. Perhaps an older relative was not as loving and supportive as they could have been when you were young and now you resent having to care for them. Perhaps you have a business empire and only one heir who is mentally ill, or feel that your child will not manage to look after themselves or you as the years advance. All these issues must be identified and dealt with.

People with mental health prob lems are not bad people but they are vulnerable human beings with a different perception of and a differ ent angle on the world and reality.

With the use of various bio-psy cho-social models counselling can be tailor -made to reduce the impact and continued trauma that mental health issues have on a family, pro moting a much more productive re lationship between the patient and family, notwithstanding between the family and other relatives.Fam ily breakdowns and feuds are very destructive and very long lasting and hopefully avoidable, at least on this issue.

As a registered nurse and coun sellor 1 have seen the effects on relatives when dealing with mental health issues over many years in mental healthcare and nursing and have lifted the veil on mental ill ness for many relatives, providing emotional relief to many strained family relationships. 1 often say "There is no mystery to therapy. It is a case of having the ability and training to untangle balls of emo tional spaghetti without breaking any strands."

Sometimes the emotions and reactions tied to an event such as a hospital admission to a mental health facility seems dispropor tionate, but just as a single oil well releases the pressure of a vast sub terranean oil field, the admission can release a multitude of other issues. I am there to offer a life line to those who are struggling in the emotional tempest.

health Illness

Bell Pharmacy

Your Family Chemists

Here to help you by answering all your pharmaceutical questions

Consult us <it 27 Bell Ltine Tel: 7-284 Fax: 42484

STEINER CHIROPRACTIC CLINICS

Dr Carsten Rudolf Steiner BSc DC

Member of the British Chiropractic Association

Back to better health with Chiropractic for headaches, dizziness, neck and lower back pain, sciatica, osteoathritis and sports injuries. College Clinic, Regal House, Tel: 77777

lifeliiS

(lounsellin^ Serviifs

Confidential counselling for Postnatal Depression, Bereavement, Domestic Violence, Families Dealing with Mental Illness etc

3/2nd floor 29 City Mill Lane, Gibraltar Tel: 54002090 ianntmdiweni@hottnail.com

McTimoney Chiropractor

Gende holistic treatment for all back or muscular problems and sports injuries

Gillian Schirmer MA,DC, MMCA Clinic iClaudis'st, 1st Floor, 88 Mom Street Tel: 41733 or alter hours: 40026

Chiropractic Health Clinic

Dr Steven J. Crump BSc.DC.MC'C Open: Moil - hri 4..KUim - 6..t4pm

Treatment of Back Pain. Neck Pain. Headaches,Limb Pain & Sports Injuries

Tel: 44226 R'C Suite F5C Ui Floor. C'asemalo. Oihialiar Member"f Briiiah Cliiro/inK lie Assi'darum

Sports Massage Therapy & Personal Training

Unit C-$, Eliolt Hotel Gibraltar Tel: 51113

For all your Pharmaceutical needs

#Louis'Pharmacy

Open; ■ " Mondav - ["riday, Saturday 10 -1 .TOpiii.( luscd Sundays

Unit F12. International Commercial Centre, Casemates, lei: 447V7

JOHN W. MILES

BSc(Podiatry). M.Ch.S

STATE REGISTERED CHIROPODIST*

Treatment of all Foot Problems

Ingrown Toe-nails including Surgical Removal

Biomechanlcal Analysis for Insoles / Orthotics including Children Wart(Verruca) Clinic - Diabetics College Clinic. Regal House, Queensway Tel: 77777

ALSO AVAILABLE FOR HOME VISITS l_on'-lee (Hon®)L'"^Ac M&A=-C

Member of the E>ntiob Acupuncture C-Ourvci!

Mcmberofthe ^oundation for jiilei^atsd Mcdrtinc

Nalui<il Safe— Acupiuicturc ['[ffecaw FroJ'essional

Valmar Medical Clinic CentralCiinic. lACentrePlKa

11 Main Street Tei:44471 Horse Barrack Lane Tei: 59955 Cmolb lorih1lknan®hotmaH£om

Primary Care Centre

2nd Floor International Commercial Centre Weekend and Public Holiday Opening Hours(Use Irish Town Entrance) Clinic Hours:Saturday:9am -11 am,5pm - 6pm Sunday & Public Holidays:10am -11 am,5pm -6pm

Madeline Andlaw PG Dip (BACP Registered)

For either short or long term therapy, stress and anxiety; relationship or work difficulties; low self esteem; powerlessness; depression; conflict; cnsis counsellingeg: bereavment, redundancy.

19a Line Wall Road Tel: 74814 Urgent: 54028785

CLA8QICAL HOMEOPATH

Ken Ofledel. B8o. maehu acufe and ohronio lllnesees

Irvslrucflon In Classical Homeopalhg

• see websife for free on-line