The Good Life – January-February 2022 by The Good Life Men's Magazine

DAD LIFE

Dating as a Single Dad Some completely off-the-cuff and non-professional advice from someone who hates getting advice.

her fault and that it's *GASP* quite possible that you were partially to blame too.

I want to start this column like I do with so many of my other columns by saying that I am in no way a licensed relationship counselor or therapist. I have no formal training in matters of the heart. I'm just a guy that gets paid to create stimulating content and musings on today's male experience.

You're not perfect. There is nothing more unmanly than a guy that constantly bashes his ex. Sure, vent your feelings and express your frustrations. But there comes a point where you need to sort out those feelings, learn from the mistakes in the relationship, and develop healthy coping mechanisms for dealing with those feelings of loss, hurt, and anger so that it doesn't affect your next relationship.

My only expertise on the subject of dating while being a single dad is the fact that I've lived it and have a tenyear-old. That being said, to say that my dating experiences have been adventurous would be a huge understatement. Dating can be fun, hilarious, awful, soul-crushing, exciting and the worst or best thing you've ever been a part of. It all depends on how you approach it. Below is part one of some tips that I've learned through my own personal experiences. Get over yourself. Timing is everything. The timing on when you re-enter the dating pool following a relationship ending is crucial. If you rush it, you'll end up projecting your past relationship traumas onto your new partner. If you do want another relationship and yet allow yourself to adjust to single life for too long, you may find yourself jaded towards relationships in general and end up alone for the wrong reasons. The quickest way to rebound, in my non-professional opinion, is to sort yourself out first. It starts with the realization that the failure of the relationship wasn't all 2 / THE GOOD LIFE / urbantoadmedia.com

There is nothing more sad than a relationship that is doomed from the start because both people bring their past relationship baggage to this new one. I speak from experience. Take the time that is needed to ensure that the person you want to present to potential suitors is the very best version of yourself. Temper your expectations regarding dating apps. Happiness is just a swipe away! ... or at least that's the promise. Dating applications such as Bumble, Tinder, and Farmer's Only have reduced the act of mate selections to swiping left or right. They are sold as the perfect dating tool for busy people or people with children who don't have time for normal dating. Gone are the days of having to go on three or four dates in

WRITTEN BY: PAUL HANKEL

order to see if you're compatible with the person sitting across from you. Now you can easily scroll, see their three to five best air-brushed photos, a state line of characteristics, their favorite quote, a list of things they're looking for, and (for some reason) what their favorite song is. It is a somewhat shallow but efficient way to select a potential partner. As an aside: Dudes, we have got to stop using dead fish in our profile pictures. I have been told and can assure you that exactly zero women are turned on by a picture of you holding or standing over a dead animal. "My Kids are my World!” You know you've seen it. It's the cliché phrase plastered across many women's dating and social profiles. It's meant, I think, to show that they are responsible, don't have time for "games," and that having and maintaining a family is their number one priority. In reality though, it's a red flag for me that denotes the fact that, no matter what

happens, whoever dates them will always be second fiddle to her children. OBVIOUSLY, your kids are your priority and take up the bulk of your non-work hours. OF COURSE, they are one of the most important things in your life. What parent doesn't feel this way? This moniker that's meant to let everyone know you're a "good mom," has two unintended consequences in my humble opinion: It denotes that there may be some underlying issues in your previous relationships or with your children's father. It denotes the fact that you feel like you need to, for whatever reason, let potential dating partners know that you're a good mom….when that should be a given. Children are meant to be a compliment to your adult life and, in most cases, relationship. Call me old school but I believe that your partner comes first and that the stable relationship between two adults in a relationship should serve as a bedrock for a family unit. Yes, we as parents get swept up in the business of parenting (my kid had five hockey games last weekend). However, for a relationship to work, you must prioritize your partner and your relationship. So, why would you want to potentially scare off dating partners by leading with, "You'll only ever be my number two priority?” Are date nights going to get canceled because a kiddo got sick? Yes. Are children going to take precedent sometimes? Absolutely. However, to have that be the realization and starting factor for a relationship right off the bat seems disingenuous to me. It all reverts back to that timing thing we have already covered. We make time and prioritize the things that we want to in life. If you want a relationship to work with a new partner, then you need to prioritize your partner and put in as much effort with them as you do with your children. It's that simple. I hope these musings can help shed a little bit of light on the dating landscape for those who are just getting into it. Casually dating is easy. Meaningful dating is hard work. Cheers! ♥︎ urbantoadmedia.com / THE GOOD LIFE / 3

VOLUME 9 | ISSUE 4 JANUARY-FEBRUARY 2022

CONTENTS 2

DAD LIFE DATING AS A SINGLE DAD

Some completely off-the-cuff and nonprofessional advice from someone who hates getting advice.

TREV'S BARBERSHOP

HAVING A BEER WITH DEAN WYSOCKI

Chief Meteorologist for AM 1100/AM 970 WDAY Dean Wysocki regales The Good Life with stories about his opportunity to model as a child, his regretful mustache days and more.

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ON THE COVER ROBERT "THUMPER" GREGOR A MAN OF MANY HATS Incorporating his love for motorcycles and his desire to help others, Robert “Thumper” Gregor is known for finding creative ways to help the F-M community and surrounding area.

Trev’s Barbershop is more than a barbershop; it is a place for the community.

THE CLOCKWERKS A HISTORY OF TIME

Repairing clocks is like a puzzle, and sometimes you have to make the pieces.

HOW TO KEEP YOUR WINDSHIELD FROM FOGGING UP To understand how to prevent your vehicle’s windshield (and windows) from fogging up, it helps to understand why they fog up in the first place.

GUILTY PLEASURES

LOCAL HERO STEVE SYLVESTER

From dressing like James Bond to treating their car like a newborn baby, discover guys’ most typical guilty pleasures.

Fargo man served his country, but the real battle started when he got home. 4 / THE GOOD LIFE / urbantoadmedia.com

PUBLISHED BY Urban Toad Media LLP www.urbantoadmedia.com OWNER / GRAPHIC DESIGNER Dawn Siewert dawn@urbantoadmedia.com OWNER / PHOTOGRAPHER Darren Losee darren@urbantoadmedia.com CONTRIBUTING WRITERS Meghan Feir Paul Hankel Brett & Kate McKay Krissy Ness Emma Vatnsdal ADVERTISING INQUIRIES Dawn Siewert dawn@urbantoadmedia.com

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The Good Life Men’s Magazine is distributed six times a year by Urban Toad Media LLP. Material may not be reproduced without permission. The Good Life Men’s Magazine accepts no liability for reader dissatisfaction arising from content in this publication. The opinions expressed, or advice given, are the views of individual writers or advertisers and do not necessarily represent the views or policies of The Good Life Men’s Magazine.

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A Place for Community

WRITTEN BY: KRISSY NESS PHOTOS BY: URBAN TOAD MEDIA

There is nothing like the feel of a hometown barbershop. And that's what Trever Thompson was going for when he opened up his veteran-owned and operated shop, Trev's Barbershop, in West Fargo, N.D. Thompson has had a long and exciting life that has led him to where he is today. Upon graduation from high school in 1998 from Century High School in Bismarck, ND, Thompson enlisted into the North Dakota National Guard with 1st Battalion 188th Air Defense Artillery Regiment. Thompson moved 6 / THE GOOD LIFE / urbantoadmedia.com

to Fargo and attended NDSU, and joined Army ROTC (Reserve Officer Training Corps). Thompson was honorably discharged as a Sergeant from the N.D. Army National Guard in 2004, attended U.S. Army Airborne School, graduated from NDSU and was commissioned as an officer that same year. Upon graduating, Thompson went active duty with the United States Army, was stationed and served with the 5th Air Defense Artillery Regiment at Fort Lewis in Washington State. His unit 5-5 ADA deployed to Iraq in March 2007 and spent 15 months

PHOTO SUBMITTED BY: TREVER THOMPSON

there. Thompson was honorably discharged from the U.S. Army as a Captain in October 2008.

downtown Fargo for five years," said Thompson.

As a civilian who doesn't know much about the difference between the National Guard and the U.S. Army, it was interesting to find that they have kind of gone hand in hand for the past 10 to 20 years.

Fast forward to 2020, and quarantine has set in. Everett's was forced to close their doors for months to comply with mandatory shutdown orders. Due to COVID and its ramifications, he had the time to look for a place to open up shop. Usually, that would not be the case due to work and life. "That pushed me into this whole thing," said Thompson. "I thought I was going to own a shop someday; I just didn't think it would be so soon."

"After 9/11, the National Guard was used for more than just state emergencies again," said Thompson. From the U.S. Army and National Guard working together in Afghanistan and Iraq to COVID testing sites, riot control during quarantine, helping fight forest fires, they are relatively interchangeable in this day in age. It was then that he got a job with the U.S. Department of Veterans Affairs in Fargo and worked there for six years, loving every minute of it. However, after some time, Thompson found himself wanting to do something different. "I went to barber school in 2014, and then from there, I worked at Everett's Barbershop in

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Not only was Thompson looking for a place where he could make and design this business to his exact likings, but he also wanted a place where veterans and civilians could call their own. "I still wanted to do something that involved veterans and being a barber, there would be veterans coming in," said Thompson. "Man, you know it is crazy the bond you share, even those who were in Vietnam." I can only imagine how difficult it is to readjust to the civilian world again, whether it was yesterday or 50 years ago, so to have a place where you can go and find comfort with those around you is a special connection. "When you meet a vet, it is like an unspoken bond," said Thompson. "It's kind of cool." Trev's Barbershop isn't just for veterans; this is a place for everyone in the community. A place where you can get a great haircut, touch up your beard, and enjoy the company Trev's Barbershop has to offer. "That's my goal, to own a little barbershop where everyone has 8 / THE GOOD LIFE / urbantoadmedia.com

PHOTO SUBMITTED BY: TREVER THOMPSON

a place to go," said Thompson. Furthermore, many women have come in to get their shortcuts from Trev's Barbershop. You need someone trained to do it, and do it right with a specific hairstyle. You would be hardpressed to find someone with luscious locks come into the shop looking for layers, bangs, and the whole shebang. Thompson's reputation has proven him well. In addition to himself, he has one other barber working with him, and they are busy all day every day. It is pretty remarkable to have started up a business during quarantine and see it flourish as well as Thompson's in just a year. "Having the freedom and ability to go to a job every day that I truly enjoy, providing a service to the community for those that may want it, and to go home at the end of the day, to my wife that keeps it real and balanced, is what the good life means to me," said Thompson. ✂ urbantoadmedia.com / THE GOOD LIFE / 9

HAVING A BEER WITH | DEAN WYSOCKI

W RI IR F E IA OT T T E N B Y : ME G HA N M E D OS BY: U R B A N TO A D

Since the age of 5, Dean Wysocki knew he wanted to be a weatherman. He’d stare up into the clouds awestruck knowing exactly what he wanted his professional career to be when he was older. He’s never regretted the decision and has worked as a TV meteorologist in Illinois, Minnesota, Nebraska, Iowa, Texas and Arizona. His most recent gig started a year ago in North Dakota as chief meteorologist for AM 1100/ AM 970 WDAY Radio. Although he moved from Phoenix, he’s loved living in Fargo-Moorhead because of the great people he’s encountered. I had the opportunity to talk with the Chicago native at Drekker Brewing Company about his love of the Chicago Cubs, deep-dish pizza, and how he’s the spitting image of his gregarious father. Read on to learn more about Dean Wysocki. Good Life: What’s one trend you’ve followed that you’re kind of embarrassed about? Dean Wysocki: It would be back in the ’80s and ’90s. During high school I had hair down to my shoulders. I look back on it now and I’m like, “No wonder I couldn’t get a date.” It makes a lot of sense now. Then in the ’90s 10 / THE GOOD LIFE / urbantoadmedia.com

when I got my first job in TV, I had a full head of hair— loved those days—but I had this horrible-looking Tom Selleck porn-star mustache. We have a picture of it as a screensaver at work. I’ll never forget my news director at the time told me, “Dude, you’ve got to shave that off,” and I said, “Like h*** I will. There’s no way.” I met this one gal and she said I should probably shave that mustache off. I was like, “Are you kidding me?” but I did. GL: What’s something distinct about you? DW: My personality. I’m a people person. If you can’t get along with me, then something’s wrong with you because I get along with most people I meet. I love making people laugh. I’m the spitting image of my dad. He was a schmoozer, talker, super nice guy, the life of the party, and everybody loved him. Everybody’s like, “Man, you’re just like him.” GL: What’s one of your New Year’s resolutions? DW: Not to make a New Year’s resolution. Probably to listen to myself, though. A lot of times I trust people too much, so I need to listen to myself and get in better shape, which is everybody’s resolution every year. GL: Have you ever actually followed through with a resolution?

DW: Yeah, to work out more—for a couple of months. Then it falls to the wayside. GL: If you could have a theme song playing every time you walk into a room— DW: “Rock You Like A Hurricane” by Scorpions. GL: Holy cow. You didn’t even have to think. DW: Probably because I’ve met the band three times backstage.

“Back when I was 6 or 7 years old they’d call me Danny because I looked just like Danny Bonaduce.” – – – Dean Wysocki GL: What’s a little-known fact about you? DW: I used to be a stripper. GL: … DW: No, I’m kidding. GL: I was like, “I think he’s kidding, but…” DW: Hmm. A little-known fact about me is that not many people know what my nickname was growing up. Back when I was 6 or 7 years old they’d call me Danny because I looked just like Danny Bonaduce. My mom told me a few years after urbantoadmedia.com / THE GOOD LIFE / 11

HAVING A BEER WITH | DEAN WYSOCKI

my dad had died that when I was 5 years old, Gerber or some modeling agency wanted to do photoshoots with me for a magazine—probably because I looked like Danny Bonaduce. I had red hair and freckles. GL: You had red hair? What happened? DW: Yeah, like bright red hair. It got dark. If I grow a beard, it’ll come in red. My dad told my mom that the modeling would pay for my college and beyond and that I’d be set. My mom was like, “No, there’s no way we’re taking him out of school. His education comes first.” GL: What’s your favorite kind of food? DW: Chicago deep-dish pizza—either Giordano’s’ or Pizzeria UNO. Both are fantastic places. I love Italian food. I also love lasagna. Nothing beats a great lasagna. I love them both. GL: Who’s the most annoying celebrity? DW: Oh, all of them, but either the cackling hens on The View or the Kardashians. They’re like nails on a chalkboard. GL: Very good choices. GL: Who’s your favorite person in history, family members aside? DW: We’re going to go religious here. Either Jesus Christ or Pope John Paul II. That’s who we grew up with, and I remember thinking, “The pope goes skiing?” GL: Yeah, Jesus is my favorite person in history, too. You can’t top him. 12 / THE GOOD LIFE / urbantoadmedia.com

GL: What does living the good life mean to you? DW: Being happy. Whether that means being single or married, just be happy because life is short. Laugh, have fun, smile and make other people smile, go on adventures, and travel because you’re only here once—that we know of. There’s so much bad, but there’s more good than bad. Gravitate toward the good and be good to people. After you’re 30, it flies. And find a job that you love. There’s nothing worse than dreading going to work every morning. Find something you love to do. I’m lucky enough to have found my passion. •

“Laugh, have fun, smile and make other people smile, go on adventures, and travel because you’re only here once— that we know of.” PHOTO BY: MARK BJORNSTAD

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There is something special about antique or vintage technology, especially clocks. They come in all shapes and sizes, and they all have their particular moments. That's where experienced repairmen or women come in. David Schutz has worked on and off with clocks for the past 15 years, but he has been working on them full time for 11 years.

bought it out, and he was super bummed," said Schutz. "But there was the clock shop in the back that she didn't want, and he thought how hard can clock repair be?"

Originally, Schutz's father purchased, The Clockwerks in 2006. "My dad wanted to buy the lamp shop, and when he went to do it, he found out a long-time employee had

The man he stayed with during his training was the thenowner of the Herschede Clock Company, and when he came to visit Schutz's father, he was shocked to find that

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From there, his father flew out to the east coast and took a course in clock repair work, "it was a one-week crash course on how not to hurt yourself when taking a clock apart, which isn't much," laughed Schutz. "But he came back and ran a business."

WRITTEN BY: KRISSY NESS PHOTOS BY: URBAN TOAD MEDIA

When the part for specific clocks is no longer in production, he has the knowledge and patience to create the piece himself, right in his workspace. his business was still up and running with the brief amount of training he had. Schutz worked alongside his father to become an electrician while learning how to carefully take apart clocks and put them back together in working order. He would repair, oil, or make parts for specific clocks in which you can no longer order parts. I found that so fascinating that when the part for specific clocks is no longer in production, he has the knowledge and patience to create the piece himself, right in his workspace. When Schutz graduated, he quit working at The Clockwerks and got a job in electrical work. His dad hired a guy who could barely operate a screwdriver but was very good with the customers, so he took over as the customer service representative. After being laid off in 2008, Schutz jumped in to help his dad because he had been falling farther and farther behind. By 2010 he was doing most of the urbantoadmedia.com / THE GOOD LIFE / 15

mechanical repair, while his dad was managing the business and going out to customers' houses to do repair work on their grandfather clocks, whether that be oiling them or bringing them back so Schutz could fix them. By 2014 Schutz gave his dad a choice because he needed to make more money to support his family. However, his dad was uninterested in hiring or firing anyone at that point. "I told him I was going to have to quit or jokingly said I might have to buy the place," said Schutz. "He said if I could get the money together, I could have it." So precisely ten years after his father bought The Clockwerks, Schutz took over the store. He had run the store for the past six years, until 2020, when he hired his wife to help, working as fast as possible to get clocks out the door. Being one of the only clock repair shops in town, you can imagine how much work they receive; Schutz has work that will last him for years to come. But unfortunately, clock repair isn't something that can be done overnight, they are like giant puzzles, and sometimes you have to make your own pieces. Sitting in his workspace, I was amazed by how many different clocks were on display. While listening back to my recording of our conversation, cuckoo clocks were chirping, chimed were striking, and bells were ringing from dozens of different clocks. 16 / THE GOOD LIFE / urbantoadmedia.com

I asked Schutz if he is ever distracted by the many clocks sounding off on the hour every hour. "I am actually trying to pay attention to when the noises happen, so if they are sounding too early, I can fix that before I return them to their owners," said Schutz. This job somewhat fell into Schutz's lap, but he seems to enjoy the challenge of fixing clocks. "I like that the job changes day-to-day, I mean, they are all the same, but they are all different," said Schutz. "There is not a manufacturing monotony to it." If you love your job, you never work is what the good life means to Schutz. •

"I hope to keep doing this kind of work until I fall over dead or until they haul me out of here telling me I can't do it anymore." – David Schutz

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ON THE COVER | ROBERT GREGOR

a man of many hats WRITTEN BY: MEGHAN FEIR

As a little boy, Robert “Thumper” Gregor would often hear people spilling the latest news, gossip and life updates in his Moorhead house. A hairdresser, his mother doubled as a stand-in counselor as soon as clients entered the doors of her home business. She was also a bit of a philanthropist. With all her connections and the needs of their Fargo-Moorhead community surrounding them, she was often donating her services and help for benefits and causes. After years of witnessing his mom in action, helping others became second nature to Gregor. Choosing a new direction Growing up in Moorhead, Gregor had a lot of

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•

PHOTOS BY: URBAN TOAD MEDIA

neighborhood friends. As a foreshadowing of things to come, they started their own bicycle club. “We were called the Midnight Riders,” Gregor said. “We took bicycles and added another fork to it to make a chopper. We thought we were the coolest bunch of guys around, but we all were probably dorks.” From a young age, Gregor was involved in Cub Scouts and Eagle Scouts, but by the time he was old enough to join Boy Scouts, the partying scene had already captured his attention. “I started drinking by the age of 13. My mom and dad were both partiers, and I got to play cards and dice with them and sneak beer here and there,” Gregor said. Eventually, Gregor

joined the Army National Guard when he was 18 and became a fullblown alcoholic.

PHOTO SUBMITTED BY: ROBERT GREGOR

“I tried to be the life of the party,” Gregor said. One evening when he was home, Gregor and his dad got into a big argument. He left the house, stopped to get some Mountain Dew and a pack of smokes, and drove to find a place to park in his van. A few hours later, a Cass County deputy sheriff got a call to check out a suspicious vehicle. “He actually came and talked to me four times, just to make sure I wasn’t doing something stupid,” Gregor said. “Before he left, he gave me his card and I went to talk to him a few times over the next year.” That was one of the catalysts for Gregor to make a drastic life change. “My biggest success story was when I quit drinking at 21. That was one of my mom’s proudest moments,” Gregor said. “When I first quit drinking I lost a lot of my friends, but I’m a firm believer that if I hadn’t quit drinking, I wouldn’t have gotten married, and I wouldn’t have gotten a good job. I probably would have ended up in jail.”

“MY BIGGEST SUCCESS STORY WAS WHEN I QUIT DRINKING AT 21. THAT WAS ONE OF MY MOM’S PROUDEST MOMENTS.” Finding a new community For over 20 years, Gregor has worked as a sanitation engineer for the City of Fargo Garbage Department. He enjoys his job and loves knowing he’s helping the community, but his real passion intertwines his love for motorcycles and philanthropy.

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ON THE COVER | ROBERT GREGOR

Motorcycles of all types have always been of immense interest to Gregor. “It’s just been a passion of mine for years. My first road bike was a Kawasaki 440. Everybody was like, ‘You’re riding that?’ because of how big I am, but I rode what I could afford back then,” Gregor said. “I’ve always ridden motorcycles, but in 1989 I joined a motorcycle club in town, and in ‘91 I quit there and went to the FM Crusaders M.C. I enjoy the club so much.” The FM Crusaders Motorcycle Club, of which Gregor is currently president, has 14 active members, but they’ve cumulatively had hundreds of members since its inception in 1967. It was at an FM Crusaders M.C. event where Gregor was given his nickname, “Thumper.” He even sports a rabbit tattoo on his right arm. “When they first came out with the high-top tennis shoes, they had the big tongues,” Gregor said. “We had a party, and when I walked in it looked like I had rabbit feet, so the president at the time said my new nickname was Thumper.” Besides the camaraderie and leisure rides involved in motorcycle clubs, several times a year, many groups will take part in charity runs, raising money for organizations and benefits. The typical charity ride is 100 to 150 miles long and involves several stops along the way. 20 / THE GOOD LIFE / urbantoadmedia.com

“I remember when we could count how many charity runs there were in a year on one hand. Now there’s a calendar this long that has a lot of runs on it,” Gregor said. “A lot of people don’t understand how much motorcycle

riders make for charity rides. If we didn’t have rides, if we didn’t have people showing up and donating, we wouldn’t raise anything. Just for CCRI, we’ve raised over 100,000 dollars. The 61 for 61 for Roger Maris raised over 100,000 dollars. There are so many good charity runs out there.”

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ON THE COVER | ROBERT GREGOR

Over the years, Gregor has helped plan countless benefits, motorcycle runs and more, mixing his passion for helping others and riding motorcycles by being a member of the FM Crusaders M.C. He and his club members have raised hundreds of thousands of dollars for organizations, such as the Boys & Girls Club, the Sanford Roger Maris Cancer Center, the American Legion, and, most recently, CCRI, which has been one of the most rewarding groups to work with for Gregor.

Sabin. I live in Moorhead. But the FM Crusaders M.C. is based in Sabin, so I got to know a lot of the Lions, the fire department and the town.”

“WITH SOME OF THE GROUPS WE’VE HELPED, THEY JUST WANT US TO RAISE THE MONEY, BUT WHEN WE GOT TOGETHER WITH CCRI, WE BECAME A FAMILY.”

Because of that admiration, Gregor has been able to not only help organizations that help veterans through motorcycle rides but also through helping with the Veterans Honor Flight of ND/MN.

“With some of the groups we’ve helped, they just want us to raise the money, but when we got together with CCRI, we became a family,” Gregor said. “They help us just as much as we help them. We even took them to play pool, but they prefer bowling. You watch some of those clients bowl and they’re good at it.” With his passion for helping others, it’s been hard to say no to taking on new endeavors and being a part of new groups. At one point, he belonged to six organizations. “I finally had to back off,” Gregor said. For 11 years, he was even a Sabin Lions Club member, and for 6 of those, he was the president. “I don’t even live in 22 / THE GOOD LIFE / urbantoadmedia.com

Honoring the vets Although Gregor served in the Army National Guard for 6 years, he personally doesn’t consider himself a veteran because he didn’t see action or get sent overseas. His respect for veterans is immense.

“I was just going to help by doing a ride for them to raise money, but the passion of the board members was so impressive and they were so tight,” Gregor said. “They asked me to go on a flight, so I got to go to Washington, D.C. They had an opening on the board of directors and I got nominated to be a board director.” The all-expenses-paid, two-day excursion is jampacked with activities and includes the assurance that health won’t hold them back from experiencing the incredibly meaningful moments planned for their trip. “We take 70 wheelchairs with us. We take four doctors, nurses, and respiratory therapists. A lot of guys will say they’re not healthy enough, but they’re covered,” Gregor said. “The first time I got there, I knew they had a welcoming group but I didn’t realize how big it was. When I was pushing a vet in a wheelchair, he said, ‘You

didn’t tell me about this.’ There were two little boys saluting him in sailor suits and he started to bawl.” The Honor Flights have been canceled over the past two years due to the COVID-19 pandemic, but Gregor is hopeful the flights will begin again in 2022. Living the good life Between being a part of the Veterans Honor Flight and the FM Crusaders M.C., it takes a lot of Gregor’s time. It’s no surprise that Gregor’s answer for what “living the good life” entails is helping others and finding joy in their presence. “I like riding my motorcycle, spending my time at gatherings, and being able to have conversations with people,” Gregor said. “The good life to me is spending time with my family and my friends and doing what I do. I want to continue helping people.” •

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You're driving down the highway and your car's windshield fogs up, so you blast the defroster. The fog goes away but then returns again a few minutes later. You repeat this process until you arrive at your destination. The same thing happens to the car's driver and passenger-side windows. The windows fog up so you can't see your rearview mirrors, so you roll the windows down and then back up to squeegee the moisture off. But then the fog simply comes back again. And on the fight against vehicular window fog, and its visibility-robbing haze, goes. Fortunately, there's a way to escape this seemingly endless cycle of fog recurrence and achieve driving nirvana. We share your exit strategy below.

Why Does Your Windshield Fog Up? To understand how to prevent your vehicle's windshield (and windows) from fogging up, it helps to understand why they fog up in the first place. Fog on the inside or outside of your car windshield is condensation that forms due to a difference in temperature and humidity near the glass. The nature of this differential varies according to the season of the year. During the winter, window fog typically occurs inside of your car. That's because the temperature and humidity on the inside of your vehicle are higher than they are outside of it. All that hot vapor from the passengers' breath condenses on the inside of the windows/ windshield once it hits the cool glass. WRITTEN BY: BRETT & KATE MCKAY / ARTOFMANLINESS.COM

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When you experience foggy car windows in the summer, the condensation usually occurs on the outside of the car windows. That's because the temperature and humidity on the outside of your car are higher than on the inside where you've got the cold, dry A/C running. Once the hot, moist summer air hits your car's windows, condensation forms on the outside of the glass. Knowing where the condensation is forming — inside or outside — will guide how you implement your preventive anti-fog measures.

How to Keep Your Windshield from Fogging Up Clean your windows. The first step in preventing automotive fog is to give your vehicle's windows and windshield a nice wipe down. Dirt and oils on the glass will attract and maintain condensation. Clean your car's windows/windshield on both sides with some window cleaner and a newspaper or paper towel. 26 / THE GOOD LIFE / urbantoadmedia.com

Apply an anti-fog spray. Anti-fog spray contains chemicals that prevent water from condensing on your glass. Remember, if it's winter, the fog will be forming on the inside of your windows/windshield, so make sure to get a spray that's designed for interior glass. If it's summer, you'll want to apply the anti-fog spray on the outside of the glass and you'll want to use a product designed for the exterior. Thoroughly cleaning your windows before applying anti-fog spray is a big key in their efficacy, so don't neglect the step one recommendation above. Use home anti-fog remedies. If you don't want to go to the auto supply store or have a bottle of commercial anti-fog spray Amazon Primed to you, there are some home remedies you can use to prevent fog from forming on your glass: • Shaving cream. I'm talking about the old-school Barbasol variety. Spray some on a towel and wipe on your glass. Wipe the glass clean with a clean towel.

• A potato. Strangely enough, the starch and sugars in a potato can act as a fog repellent. Simply cut a potato in half and rub the exposed half on your windows/windshield. Wipe off any excess potato juice, lest you leave a white coat of starch on your glass. Turn off the recirculate button on your airconditioner/heater. You've likely seen this button on your car's console but may never have really understood what it did. When the recirculate button is engaged, your vehicle uses air from inside your vehicle for heating and cooling; it continually recirculates the same air, allowing it to be heated/cooled more effectively. When the button is off, the car heats and cools using air brought in from the outside. If condensation forms on the inside of your car during the winter, you can probably see why it would be a bad idea to recirculate this warm, moist interior air. It just perpetuates the fuel that feeds windshield fog. So make sure the recirculate button is off. Turn the heat and A/C on at the same time. When it's cold outside, you want the heat on in your car so that you're warm. But warm air causes condensation to form on your windshield. So how can you stay warm without fogging up the glass? Turn the A/C on at the same time as you crank up the heat in your car. The A/C will dry out the air. By reducing the moisture in the warm air blowing in your car, you reduce the likelihood of your windshield and windows fogging up. Just make sure your car's A/C button is on when you crank the heat up. That's all there is to it. And no, this won't damage your car's air-conditioning. When all else fails, blast the defroster to the max. If you've done all these things, and you still get some fog, you can always turn the defroster up to full blast. The warm, dry air will evaporate the moisture on the interior of your windshield, defogging your glass immediately. This is a temporary fix, though. If the humidity is still high inside your car, you'll just get a foggy windshield again. Make sure the recirculate button is off, and try recleaning your windows/re-applying anti-fog spray when you return home. • urbantoadmedia.com / THE GOOD LIFE / 27

WRITTEN BY: MEGHAN FEIR

Guilty pleasures. They’re the things you love that your neighbor might think are bizarre. They’re the indulgences; the little things you do to pamper yourself and make your life more enjoyable, just because. They’re the things that might make you seem a little less like the stoic man you’ve been trying so hard to portray. “Guilty pleasures” can include a ridiculously broad range of things people love doing, whether they’re considered weird or normal, embarrassing or prideful, indulgent or modest, regular or rare occurrences. I asked some of the men in and outside of my life (aka, Facebook friends you never see anymore) what their guilty pleasures are. One soul said he holds, “no shame in my love for taking candlelight baths as I make bubble beards.” A relative of mine said “listening to Chvrches” the band is something he keeps on the down-low. Another man told me his love for nicotine is a continuously burning desire, one in which he occasionally succumbs. My own father responded and rightly said he loves, “Looking at Craigslist and Marketplace every night for used cars and motorcycles, even though I’m not in the market.” Personally, I probably have thousands of little, guilty pleasures, some of which include periodically ordering too many allergen-free snacks, online shopping (and returning), owning too many blankets, wearing a dark brown wig whilst running errands (though it’s been a few years), drinking tea out of my china cup and saucer, and buying miniature versions of things. Although my own Facebook poll didn’t warrant many answers, here are some of the most common guilty pleasures for men: 28 / THE GOOD LIFE / urbantoadmedia.com

Drinking milk or juice out of the carton: Sicko • Getting dressed up: Wear that dapper suit and enjoy looking better than you usually do. • Binge-watching a series: What American under the age of 70 hasn’t done this one before? • Eating in bed: Almost one-fourth of Americans love doing this, but who wants to sleep in a bed of crumbs? George Costanza. That’s who. • Sleeping in: This is about the most un-embarrassing, uneventful, normal one of them all.

• Drinking milk or juice out of the carton: Sicko. • Babying vehicles: I know very few men (ad women) who don’t like to personify their cars, motorcycles, snowmobiles, etc. Heck, I cried when I handed in my leased car. Give your baby a car wash and some TLC. Just remember to give your wife some TLC, too. • Playing video or computer games: You don’t have to live in a basement and be on a diet of Doritos and Mountain Dew in order to love playing video games. • Sexual guilty pleasures: I’d rather not talk about these. Whatever it may be, make sure your guilty pleasure doesn’t turn into a guilty obsession. Take video games, for example. According to Divorce Online, 15 percent of marriages cited video games as one of the causes for getting divorced. Whether it’s video games, babying your possessions, or indulging yourself a bit too often, make sure these delights aren’t taking too much of your attention away from relationships and responsibilities. You can enjoy guilty pleasures without them actually causing an elephantsized load of guilt and repercussions. While many guilty pleasures are as innocent as eating

a small square of dark chocolate on a Tuesday night, some aren’t as harmless. For many people, the delicious naughtiness of their guilty pleasure is the whole point. The “doing something because you know you shouldn’t” aspect is the appeal. Sometimes, the risk of harvesting a potentially negative outcome is the allure in and of itself, but that’s not always healthy—for you or your relationships. Almost one-fourth of Americans have a guilty pleasure that they hide from their partners. That can get dicey quickly, depending on what your guilty pleasure is and how much time you dedicate to it. I admit to (rarely) eating a (small) bag of potato chips in one day without my husband knowing and stuffing the bag down low in the trash to hide it from his unsuspecting eyeballs. I just figured he needed a little extra padding on my stomach to use as a pillow. The majority of guilty pleasures aren’t newsworthy, but the fleeting happiness they produce is your reward. From watching “The Bachelorette” with your girlfriend (or all by yourself) to jamming out to Justin Bieber, maybe your guilty pleasures shouldn’t embarrass you— but perhaps that’s part of the fun. ◉ urbantoadmedia.com / THE GOOD LIFE / 29

LOCAL HERO | STEVE SYLVESTER

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NOT A

HERO

Fargo man served his country, but the real battle started when he got home

WRITTEN BY: EMMA VATNSDAL PHOTOS BY: URBAN TOAD MEDIA

Everyone has a story. Whether it’s the sweet neighbor across the road who is always there to help out on a moment’s notice or the old man you met at the grocery store who asked for help getting a can off the top shelf. Oftentimes, these stories go unnoticed — they’re a small chapter of an entire book in the life of that person. However, these stories aid in the shaping and formation of what makes people, well, people. For Fargo Fireman, Steve Sylvester, this rings especially true. “I grew up about 10 miles north of Wahpeton,” he said. “I went to science school (North Dakota State College of Science — NDSCS), then transferred to Moorhead State for spring football.” Sylvester played college football at both NDSCS and Moorhead State, before graduating and returning to Wahpeton to coach. He and his wife have a combined eight kids, his three sons from his first marriage, her three sons and daughter, and a daughter they adopted together. They have all the worries and they work through all the typical things parents deal with when their children range in ages from 16 to 23. Meeting him now, you’d never guess the Fargo Firefighter has brought himself from rock-bottom to the thriving man he is today. It’s not always an easy feat, but a little help never hurts. urbantoadmedia.com / THE GOOD LIFE / 31

LOCAL HERO | STEVE SYLVESTER

WORLD TRAVELER “I think coming out of high school, if I wouldn’t have gotten the football scholarship, I would’ve joined the military right away,” Sylvester said. “Which, I kind of wish I would’ve done, but whatever. Hindsight, I guess, is 20/20.” Sylvester joined the North Dakota National Guard, where he had the opportunity to attend Officer Candidate School. He was commissioned and transferred to Minnesota, where he spent the next 15 years. During that time, Sylvester served many deployments — taking him all over the globe, from Germany to South and Central America. In the Spring of 2006, Sylvester was sent as an individual to serve on the 12-person team, as a military advisor in support of Operation Iraqi Freedom. “The Special Forces mission was running out of teams,” Sylvester said. “They work in 12-man teams and they said ‘we need counter-insurgency teams in Iraq to help rebuild this country.’ So the fix was to build 20 of these teams. They plucked guys from all over the country, and I was one of them.” These teams, Sylvester says, were trained in counterinsurgency, advanced weaponry and small unit tactics, to name a few of the many courses they learned. “(After training) they would drop these teams throughout the country,” he said, “and we would embed with the Iraqi infantry.” Once there, Sylvester and his team received more training, specific to their mission, and were flown out to the locations where the team would be spending their time. 32

“They picked us up and drove about two kilometers to where we would live for the next 10 months,” he said. “And what we ended up doing was not even close to what we had been trained for.” Sylvester and his team lived among the Iraqi soldiers, helping to hand the momentum of Operation Iraqi Freedom off to the Iraqi army. Sylvester lost 3 friends in combat and another 3 were sent home severely wounded. Although he experienced combat on the battlefield, Sylvester’s most important battle didn’t happen until he returned home.

COMING HOME Sylvester returned to his wife and two boys in North Dakota in 2007, and that’s when the battle began. “When I came back, it was good,” he said. “But I had gotten so used to that atmosphere where, you know, you don’t trust anybody.”

“When I came back, it was good. But I had gotten so used to that atmosphere where, you know, you don’t trust anybody.” He was able to take three months to adjust to being home before he returned to his job at the Fargo Fire Department, and in that time he was able to connect with family and friends. “It started out, you know, everybody wanted to see us,” Sylvester said. “So what do you do?”

Well, in North Dakota culture, typically the best place to meet up with old friends is the local watering hole. And that’s exactly what he did. “It started off that I drank because I can,” Sylvester said. “Then it was I couldn’t sleep so I gotta get drunk and basically pass out. And that went along with drinking to forget, but then it was drinking to remember because I started forgetting things. And it just snowballed from there.” Roughly 18 months after he returned home, his marriage was completely dissolved and he was visiting the VA Hospital two to three times per week. “I went through every program they had,” he said. “Some of them two or three times. EMDR and cognitive processing, anger management and all that stuff. I was doing that for a long time, but I think it didn’t help as much as it could have because I was still drinking.” As with any unhealthy habit, sometimes you have to hit rock bottom before you can begin building back up. “One night I was living in an apartment off of 25th street,” Sylvester said. “(My buddies and I) were all on our motorcycles. I came home, and I really had not been drinking very much. Long story short, I started watching some videos from my time in Iraq, had some really intense flashbacks and ended up putting two bullet holes in my TV. I put my gun away and for some reason I felt the need to put my fire department uniform on and was hiding behind my bed.” urbantoadmedia.com / THE GOOD LIFE / 33

LOCAL HERO | STEVE SYLVESTER

After a while, Sylvester says he figured out that cops were going to come. He says he laid down on the floor in front of his sliding glass door and waited, but nobody showed up.

A year and a half later, Sylvester and his new wife were finally married, and have been sober ever since.

“I got in my pickup and drove to the VA and said ‘this is what I just did,’” he said. “I think I spent the next 72 hours there.”

Sylvester began doing speaking engagements for the veterans center and was the keynote speaker for the Veterans Warrior Mental Health Conference. He’s spoken in more than 10 conferences.

After he was released, he was put on a 30 day suspension from his job before being switched over to working the day shift. “I was able to come back on duty,” he said. “I never, ever drank at work. I never wanted to, which I thought was kind of unusual, but pretty much every day that I had off involved drinking somehow.” He says it got to the point where he was about to get fired — coming in late, poor performance and the like, but was given one more chance. “I went to rehab and did outpatient for three months at a place called First Step,” Sylvester said. “My (now) wife is also in recovery and she was working on her sobriety too. We weren’t married at the time, but we were engaged and we postponed the wedding until we were in a better place. We were like two dumpster fires and we needed to be sober.” 34 / THE GOOD LIFE / urbantoadmedia.com

“It’s the best thing I ever did, by the way,” he said.

“It’s been an unusual road,” he said. “But I’m in a great place now and have been for the last probably five years, her and I both.” Sylvester’s story is not unlike many of the civil servants who struggle with their mental health after returning home from serving their time, but his story does have an ending that some don’t always get. He says when it comes to the Good Life, he’s living it. “My wife, my family, my kids and this community,” he said. “We’re afforded things not given to us, but things we feel like we’ve earned through hard work and perseverance. I told some of my buddies that, you know, if you endure long enough, eventually you get to the good stuff. And I think right now, we truly do have The Good Life. ★

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