TAKE A SWING South Fargo is home to two great new entertainment venues. Now that your evenings aren’t jammed packed with wall-to-wall kiddo activities, it may be time to get out there and enjoy some of Fargo’s newest attractions.
Here are a few ideas for your fall season that I have come to truly enjoy.
Don’t feel intimidated if you’re neither a good bowler or golfer. I’m not particularly good at either.
DAD LIFE
WRITTEN BY: PAUL HANKEL I was shocked when I saw the first back-to-school ad pop up on my phone on July 5th. Summer had flown by and, before I could blink, I was in the school supply aisle on the Sunday night before school started, fighting the other dads over the last available package of glue sticks. Then, school started, and I was confronted with something so rare and so precious, I decided to base this issue’s column on it: actual free time. I love fall. Mostly because I sweat profusely and really enjoy cooler temperatures. I also enjoy it because it's that sweet spot, right before Christmas, where there’s football on and everyone goes nuts over pumpkinflavored stuff and Halloween costumes. It’s a bit like a prequel to empty nest syndrome, which parents experience when all their kids move out you now have some windows of opportunity and time during which to focus on yourself. It can be... overwhelming.
A large-scale arcade, bowling alley, and entertainment venue opened in January 2022. The venue features stateof-the-art arcade games, a full bar and restaurant, and, of course, bowling. There is also a new golf destination located in south Fargo. Instead of being a traditional golf course and driving range, it features individual golf bays that patrons can rent, on three different levels. The complex also features golf simulators, a full bar and restaurant, and suites that can be rented for company parties, birthday parties, or any event you can imagine.
I’M DECLARING IT: FALL IS OFFICIALLY THE SEASON OF DAD SELF-CARE
2 / THE GOOD LIFE / urbantoadmedia.com
urbantoadmedia.com / THE GOOD LIFE / 3
DATE YOUR WIFE/PARTNER
TAKE A HIKE
If you’re a community events type of person, downtown Fargo’s Broadway Square and The Lights, located in West Fargo, always have various community activities going on including concerts, ice skating, speakers, yoga classes, etc. Check them out!
If none of these ideas float your boat, I’d encourage you, as a dad, to find something that will help reinvigorate your body and mind as we approach the very busy Christmas season. Before you know it, you’ll be up on the roof hanging Christmas lights and swearing at yourself for not sorting and storing them properly last year. Why not take the time now to enjoy the slower pace of fall and take care of yourself? You can thank me later.
I’m ashamed to admit it but…I like hiking. It’s a lowcost, non-screen-related activity that I can do with my kid, that happens to be healthy and scenic.
•
I, at one time, considered hiking to be an activity reserved for Sociology majors that decided to purchase a Subaru and move to Colorado. However, upon taking several trips to Maplewood State Park, Turtle River State Park, and various other regional parks, I’ve come to really enjoy walking away from my car and then turning around and walking right back.
While I have yet to post any beautifully filtered pictures of my hikes, with captions like, “All who wander aren’t lost,” I can assure you that I’m a hiker now and love it. I haven’t gone full-Colorado and purchased walking poles or a Yeti cooler but, I’m close. If you’re interested, there’s a great app called All Trails that will guide you to each and every national park and hiking trail in our region.
I cannot stress this concept enough. As the proprietor of a multitude of dating disasters (I plan to write a book), take it from me: you need to actively date your the kids are back in school, take some time to actively prioritize your relationship, whether married or dating, and invest time and effort into its cultivation. Does it need to be a huge, extravagant gesture with flowers, cards, and candy? Nope. It can be as simple as a quick lunch date or going out for a DQ Blizzard (which inexplicably cost upwards of $7 now).
Nowpartner.that
VOLUME 10 | ISSUE 2 SEPTEMBER-OCTOBER 2022 CONTENTS 02 DAD LIFE - I’M DECLARING IT : FALL IS OFFICIALLY THE SEASON OF DAD SELF-CARE NOW THAT THE KIDS ARE BACK IN SCHOOL, IT’S TIME TO FOCUS ON YOURSELF. 06 HAVING A BEER WITH JORDAN SCHROEER VALLEY NEWS LIVE’S JORDAN SCHROEER SAYS "NO" TO LEFSE, "YES" TO OPRAH, AND AN AWKWARD ON-AIR "MAYBE" TO ARETHA FRANKLIN’S DEPARTED SOUL. 10 COLD DAYS, HOT BITES - FALL FISHING DON’T PUT AWAY YOUR FISHING GEAR JUST YET, THE FALL OFFERS SOME OF THE BEST BITES OF THE YEAR! 14 WE HAVE FUN! IT’S ALWAYS A SWEET DAY AT THIS FARGO MAINSTAY THIS FAMILY-RUN MOM AND POP CANDY SHOP IS SERVING UP SWEETS, TREATS AND GOOD TIMES IN FARGO’S VILLAGE WEST SHOPPING CENTER. 18 ON THE COVER - DENIS OTTERNESS DENIS OTTERNESS SEEKS TO BUILD COMMUNITY AND RELATIONSHIP AS CHIEF OF POLICE FOR WEST FARGO POLICE DEPARTMENT. 24 ELEVATOR ETIQUETTE BEHOLD, ELEVATORS : THE MOST CONVENIENT AND AWKWARD OF INVENTIONS. THEY TAKE YOU TO NEW HEIGHTS, ALL WHILE INSTILLING VARYING LEVELS OF SOCIAL ANXIETY FOR FLOOR-HOPPING HITCHHIKERS. 26 OKTOBERFEST - DRINK BEER AND BE MERRY! A GUIDE TO OKTOBERFEST, FROM ITS ORIGIN TO YOUR BACKYARD. 30 LOCAL HERO - JOHN HAILE WINNING THE WAR WITHIN. NAVY VET’S GREATEST THREAT WASN’T THE HIGH SEAS.
urbantoadmedia.com / THE GOOD LIFE / 5 The Good Life Men’s Magazine is distributed six times a year by Urban Toad Media LLP. Material may not be reproduced without permission. The Good Life Men’s Magazine accepts no liability for reader dissatisfaction arising from content in this publication. The opinions expressed, or advice given, are the views of individual writers or advertisers and do not necessarily represent the views or policies of The Good Life Men’s Magazine. READ A PAST ISSUE yumpu.com/user/thegoodlife FOLLOW US ON FACEBOOK facebook.com/urbantoadmedia FOLLOW US ON TWITTER @urbantoadmedia FOLLOW US ON INSTAGRAM @urbantoadmedia OWNER / PHOTOGRAPHER Darren darren@urbantoadmedia.comLosee OWNER / GRAPHIC DESIGNER Dawn dawn@urbantoadmedia.comSiewert PUBLISHED BY Urban Toad Media www.urbantoadmedia.comLLP ADVERTISING INQUIRIES Darren darren@urbantoadmedia.comLosee CONTRIBUTING WRITERS Meghan Feir Paul Hankel Ben EmmaKrissyJeffreyAlexandraHansonJampsaMillerNessVatnsdal The GOODLIFE MEN’S MAGAZINE
For a guy who wakes up at 2:40 a.m. to deliver the news starting at 4:30 a.m., Valley News Live’s Jordan Schroeer was respectably chipper when we met for this interview at Drekker’s Brewhalla near downtown Fargo. Granted, it was a Friday afternoon and his weekend had already begun, but knowing he’d been wearing that freshly pressed blue suit since well before sunrise, he was still casually at ease and seemed intrigued, if not eager to sit down to answer — instead of ask — the Thequestions.Perham,Minn., native admitted that the early morning wakeup call is the hardest part of his job anchoring Valley Today. Coming in a close second… the minimal breaks he gets during the broadcast. “It is a lot of work to be a one-man show,” he said. “You are on for two to three-and-a-half hours, depending on how much of the show you’re doing. You get a two-minute commercial break and three minutes for weather. So the longest break you get is five BY: BEN HANSON PHOTOS BY: URBAN TOAD MEDIA
JORDAN
WRITTEN
6 / THE GOOD LIFE / urbantoadmedia.com
HAVING A BEER WITH | SCHROEER
whole minutes. I do not eat a big breakfast for obvious reasons.” Schroeer has been on the air since graduating from MSUM in 2015, with one short stint as a corporate PR coordinator… a job that in no way fit his personality or goals. “I got so bored with marketing, sitting in a cubicle all day long writing press releases,” he said with an off-the-record eye roll. “I need more excitement and somewhere my personality could shine. I can also write a press release in about 30 seconds, so when I was told I couldn’t surf Facebook for the rest of the day, I was outta there!” His ability to crank out content is impressive by itself, but it’s just one half of Schroeer’s day-to-day magic. The other half is the volume of work. He has earned the autonomy to lead the broadcast and decide what makes the cut… and a LOT gets to make the cut. “If I want a story on the news, I can put it on the news,” he said without arrogance. “I have a pretty good filter as to whether something is newsworthy or not, so if I think it should be covered I can cover it.
/ THE GOOD LIFE / 7
In an hour, it’s 98 stories roughly. I counted once.” As we sipped our way to the bottom of our first beer, we got into the fun topics this column is known for. Enjoy.
If you could interview anyone, alive or dead, who would it be and why? It’s such a difficult question. There’s so many people I would want to interview. Do I go super deep and philosophical, or interview someone wild and crazy? The first one that came to mind was Oprah. I love Oprah. When I was a kid, I’d get off the bus after school, grab my bag of chips and Mt. Dew and watch Oprah. What did you think about the Oprah interview with Harry and Meghan? Phenomenal. She was able to get answers from them that no one had ever been able to get before. It absolutely altered the way, I think, that the world viewed the royal family. If you won the $1 billion Mega Millions jackpot, what would you I’ddo? start a real estate development company… How lame is that? Everyone else I talked to about it was like I’d buy an island and never work again, but leave it to me to start a company and keep working. I love old buildings. I love urbantoadmedia.com
Well, the boy that was raised Catholic says I was just in a waiting room in purgatory doing nothing… didn’t learn anything, haha. The nonCatholic in me doesn’t know. Do I believe in heaven and hell? Yeah, but I don’t know what God would do with me at that time. May be good, may be boring… Who knows? Brown sugar or white sugar on your Seelefse?now, um, I actually grew up in a German-Dutch family that never made lefse. I’ve had lefse. I’ve had homemade and store bought. The diehard Norwegians will hate me, but I cannot tell the difference. If I were to guess, though, I would lean towards the brown sugar, because that just makes sense baking-wise. The more appropriate question would be sauerkraut on my brat or not. Hot or cold kraut? Both really. What was your most embarrassing on-air moment, and how often do you think about it? So I try not to think about them a lot, because that would be a dark path. A lot of people surprisingly watch the noon show… It was the day of Aretha Franklin's funeral, and I said “she will be laid today” instead of “laid to rest today”. Someone at a wedding once came up to me and told me they remembered it! What do you pay someone else to do that you wish you could do yourself? Tile work… to be able to put in a
I immediately find new friends! If they buy me a snake, they’re not my real friends. No snakes at all. None. I like dogs. Who doesn’t?
HAVING A BEER WITH | JORDAN SCHROEER places like this [Brewhalla}... taking something everyone thought was junk and making it into something beautiful again. There’s a history when you take those old buildings and rejuvenate them that you can't get back if you bulldoze and build something new. The roots of the town — no matter what town — and when you get rid of that stuff, you get rid of the history. If Elon Musk called and said you’ve been chosen to go on the first manned mission to Mars, with no option to return to Earth, what would you say? No. I would probably get stuck on that ship with people who would do nothing but annoy me. Plus, I’m too attached to my mother. It’s your birthday, and your friends chip in to buy you a fully grown boa constrictor… do you immediately find new friends or head to the pet store to buy some supplies?
You’re in a head-on crash, putting you in a coma for a week. Miraculously you survive with zero lasting injuries… but you had a near-death experience while in a coma. What did you see and learn?
8 / THE GOOD LIFE / urbantoadmedia.com
urbantoadmedia.com / THE GOOD LIFE / 9 backsplash or put in a new floor. Isn’t that the most adult answer ever? I hired someone to put in new bathroom flooring. It was worth every penny, but I wish I could’ve done that myself. And you’d be all of your buddies’ best Havefriend.you ever pitched the idea to Gray News Media that maybe they should change their name to Black and White News Media? In these times, maybe. You can quote me on that one. What’s your favorite suit? My favorite of all time I don’t even have anymore. It was this beautiful navy blue with this light, light print in it, like a slight plaid. It fit perfectly, and I wore it all the time. I ripped a hole in it, so that's why I can’t wear it anymore. What does the good life mean to Theyou? good life to me means that your heart is fulfilled. It means that you go to bed with peace inside. •
WRITTEN
Every October, my friend Tony Peterson and I spend the second Monday of October, Indigenous People’s Day, fishing one of the myriad of lakes in western Minnesota lakes. Tony is a die-hard, spending significant time on the water from May until October. He prefers to chase walleyes but acquiesces to my love of largemouth bass and northern pike a few times a year. Fishing under the gentle Autumn sun, with a warm glow lacking the sizzling bite of Summer, is hard to beat.
Locations: Finding fish is the first order of the day, and Tony starts by looking to the weeds. Rather than going shallow where the weeds are starting to die, he searches for cabbage patches in 8 to 12 feet of water. The deeper weeds offer cover, shade and hiding places for both predator and prey fish.
Lures: Once we locate a likely-looking piece of water we begin casting. Tony has a special affinity for the spinnerbait, usually tossing a white lure with double blades. The spinnerbait has been around for a long time, and for good reason. The rubber skirting pulsates in the water, the blades add flash, and the single hook is nearly weedless, protected by the arm that holds the blades. It doesn’t take long before he’s hooked up and battling a largemouth. BY: JEFFREY MILLER JEFFREY MILLER HOTDAYSBITES!
Who doesn’t love Autumn? The riot of colors, the sharp tang of fall air, and the brisk, cool wind. As a hunter, I try to wring the best of fall out of each and every day. Most fishermen, however, start putting the boat away after Labor Day. That’s a mistake because the fall can offer some of the richest fishing of the year.
10 / THE GOOD LIFE / urbantoadmedia.com
PHOTOS SUBMITTED BY:
COLD
While I will fling a spinnerbait as well, I seem to catch more fish on a lipless crankbait. The original design, the Rat’l’Trap, slices through the water with a wiggle and shake that fish cannot resist. Standing on the bow of the boat, peering into the water, it’s always a blast to watch a northern pike flash out of the cabbage and sideswipe my crankbait. Ice fishermen use light line and small lures, trying to tempt fish in the cold water. Following that logic, as the water cools it would make sense to slow down retrieves and use smaller lures. In fact, it’s quite the opposite. The fish are feeding heavily as they go into winter, much like a bear putting on weight prior to hibernation. Fast retrieves and flashy lures help trigger strikes in the hungry fish. Tony prefers a spinning reel, with a high gear ratio, while I like to use a bait casting reel. Both types work fine for rapid Theretrieves.prey fish that are being eaten are larger as well. In the spring, northern pike and largemouth bass are targeting smaller, younger fish. As Most fisherman, however, start putting the boat away after Labor Day. That’s a mistake because the fall can offer some of the richest fishing of the year.
urbantoadmedia.com / THE GOOD LIFE / 11
fall approaches, those same fish have grown in size. Small, slow moving baits waste time for the angler and usually result in frustration.
Whether or not we get a deer, we trailer up the boat and head out to fish around 10 am. Even then, the first hour or so the fishing can be slow, with only an occasional fish. Once the sun hits the center of the sky, however, it’s like a switch is thrown. I’ll be retrieving a crankbait, absentmindedly, when it will feel like a brick wall has been hit. If it’s a northern, the fish will pulse down, trying to stay in the weeds between runs. If it’s a bass, the fish will head towards the surface, jumping into the air with a spray of water, looking like diamonds in the sunlight. While the jump is exciting, it too often works out in the bass’s favor, as the lure is thrown free.
The Best Part: While spending a day on the water with a good friend is great, the best part comes later. Twelve to fourteen inch largemouth and northern pike nineteen to just under twenty-two inches are fantastic on the table. I’ve heard the myth too many times that summer bass and pike are “mushy.” That’s simply not true. After filleting the catch, soak it overnight in a bowl
12 / THE GOOD LIFE / urbantoadmedia.com
The fish are feeding heavily as they go into winter, much like a bear putting on weight prior to hibernation.
Time of Day: I hate to admit it, but I really dislike getting up early in the morning. A can’t-miss deer stand or the need to check my trapline before work gets me out of bed, but I prefer to do my fishing in afternoons and evenings. During the summer, that time of year finds the lakes full of recreational boaters, tubers, water skiers and jet skis. Getting up early and fishing the first few hours of daylight offer the best Luckily,angling. the fall brings change. There is less traffic on the lakes, as many people have put away their recreational watercraft. The water is cooler in the morning, warming slightly during the morning and making the fish more active. Tony and I usually begin a fall morning sitting on oak ridges, hoping for a deer to slip by within bow range.
urbantoadmedia.com / THE GOOD LIFE / 13 of water in the refrigerator. The fish will be as firm as one caught through the ice in January. Northern pike contain a line of Y-bones that, if not removed, make it nearly impossible to eat. There are a few filleting techniques for removing them from the meat, or the fish can be pickled or pressure-canned in pint jars. Those methods render the bones so soft as to be undetectable. Don’t let some of the greatest fishing of the year pass by. Get the kayak or boat out on the water, when nearly everyone has called it a year, and enjoy some fantastic angling! • TONY PETERSON WITH A LARGEMOUTH BASS. THE AUTHOR WITH A NICE LARGEMOUTH.
“It really started on a low-level,” Paseka said, sitting in the bistro area of Sweet Dreams Confections. Around him are rows upon rows of enough candy to keep our local dentists in business for years, a freezer filled with buckets of brightly-colored Italian delicacies, confectionary cases brimming with chocolatey, fudgey goodness and salty snacks just begging to be added to grandma’s coffee table dish. Pretty neat for something that started off as a flower “Itshop.started out in a horticultural sense since I was doing landscaping and nursery work for (a company),” he said. “So I was starting to trim people’s bushes and doing small landscaping jobs and I decided a part of that I really liked was doing flower arranging.”
PHOTOS
It’s always a sweet day at this mainstayFargo
With a chime of a bell and a joyful “Have fun!” customers of North Dakota’s largest candy store are treated to a feast for all the senses. For Lee Paseka, it’s business as usual, but for the lucky ones who walk into his store, it’s a whole lot more. Business has always run in Paseka’s blood, but now it’s a bit sweeter.
Paseka opened his North Fargo landscaping and floral business in 1976, where he added gifts and goodies as the business grew. “It just evolved,” Paseka said. “And by that time I met my wife, so she kind of grew into (the business) whether she wanted to or not. But she went along with it, and we’re BY: EMMA VATNSDAL BY: URBAN TOAD MEDIA Make Fun!
14 / THE GOOD LIFE / urbantoadmedia.com
We
WRITTEN
still married so obviously something worked.”
And it’s hard not to smile when you gaze upon the goodies and gifts that adorn the shelf-lined store.
Sweet Dreams is home to oldfashioned candy buckets filled to the "in here, you’ll always have fun. Whether you’re having a good day or a bad day, when you leave here you’ll usually have a smile.”
The Pasekas moved Lee’s Floral Party Place and Fudge Factory to its current residence in Fargo’s Village West Shopping Center in 2006. Soon after, they dropped the floral business and became Sweet Dreams Confections.
A sweet escape The nearly-50-year-old mom and pop shop works hard to give their customers the sweetest escape from the outside world. “We make fun,” said Paseka. “I try to create an environment all the time, whatever sections of life that have taken me and my business, to make people feel comfortable, feel happy when they walk in our doors. This is a fun place to be. Going back outside? Maybe not always fun, but in here, you’ll always have fun. Whether you’re having a good day or a bad day, when you leave here you’ll usually have a smile.”
urbantoadmedia.com / THE GOOD LIFE / 15
16 / THE GOOD LIFE / urbantoadmedia.com
“We bring in stuff from around the world,” he said. “A lot of our candies are from all over the country or all over the However,world.”there is still a special place for the good ol’ Midwest among the worldly treats.
“I get a lot of small businesses from (the Midwest) that we bring in,” said Paseka. “Products that have some flavor of the things that are from the so-called area. We’re not just North Dakota.”
With so many gourmet products things can get a little cramped. But Paseka has a plan.
“We’re actually going to add on to the store,” he said. “There’s a space that’s been empty on the other side of that (south) wall that will give us 2,500 more square feet. We’re kind of cramped, so we want to open up a little bit more and add a few more things.” When it comes to the candy, card and treats business, enough is never enough.
brim with colorful salt water taffy in flavors that would make the boardwalks of the east coast envious, shiny hard candies, shelves of bright, glass soda bottles waiting for you to pop their tops, bread and muffin mixes, teas, Pride of Dakota salty snacks and more.
That’s not even counting the bright case filled with hand-made chocolate treats, creamy, buttery fudge and gelato — an Italian ice cream Paseka makes himself with ingredients brought in from the Big Boot itself. In other words, the Pasekas know how to please a sweet tooth.
neededthat'ssaltychocolate,sweets,snacksandfamily.therecipeto'haveasweet'day.
“I was a really shy kid,” Paseka said. “It took me a long time to come out of that shell as I grew up and (young) kids were kind of mean. As I grew up, I wanted to make sure others didn’t feel the way I felt as a kid. I want to make sure all of my customers are treated the way I wish I was. A smile, a friendly hello, a great conversation and inviting them back to come see me soon. And so that’s my mantra. I will always treat people well. I don’t care if I’m having a really crummy day, that’s not their problem. I’m going to make them feel better about themselves. That’s what drives me.” Whether it’s a handful of hard candies, an ice cold scoop of fresh gelato or that favorite chocolate, Paseka and his wife and daughter work hard to make customers feel important.
Chocolate, sweets, salty snacks and family. That’s the recipe needed to ‘Have a sweet day.’ •
‘That’s what drives me’ At the heart of all the chocolate candies is the customer, and Paseka says making their day is as sweet as it gets.
urbantoadmedia.com / THE GOOD LIFE / 17
“In here, (customers can) escape a little bit,” he said. “Have some fun, bring their kids. And that’s just one of the many things that makes me so giggly, is when people come in and bring their family from out of town. I think ‘OK, you are doing something right’ when they want to show off something that you’re doing. When you’re here every day, you can keep it to motivate yourself to keep wanting to do better.”
“My good life is my family,” he said. “Family is always first. My good life is still being part of my kids’ lives. They still want me part of their lives. My grandkids give me big hugs, and that’s all the payment I need.”
All candiesnostalgicfavoriteyourinoneplace!
But when it comes to the most important piece of all, Paseka has one thing on his mind.
“I was very fortunate to work as a Task Force Officer with the Drug Enforcement Administration, doing undercover work. I traveled throughout the United States, helping take dangerous criminals off the street. While it was important work, and I enjoyed doing my job, it wasn’t going to be my entire career. Trisha and I had twins and being on the road, away from family, was difficult.”
ON THE COVER | DENIS OTTERNESS
WRITTEN BY: JEFFREY MILLER PHOTOS BY: URBAN TOAD MEDIA Denis Otterness, the Chief of Police in West Fargo since 2020, is no stranger to the town. At the very beginning of his over 30-year career in law enforcement, Otterness was a West Fargo police officer. To tell the Chief’s story, we need to go even further back in time. Raised in Beach, North Dakota, his first positive role models started at home with his father, an elementary principal and teacher, and his mother, who worked for a local bank. They had hailed from Page, North Dakota before following their careers west. Chief Otterness’ older brother went back east for college, to North Dakota State University. Two years later, he followed. After graduating with a degree in Criminal Justice and a minor in Psychology, he was offered an internship in South Bend, Indiana. Otterness was hired there in 1991, attended the Police Academy, and worked as a police officer until 1994 when he accepted a police officer position with the West Fargo Police Department. The West Fargo of 1994 was very different than the West Fargo of 2022, back when the department consisted of a mere 20 officers. “I enjoyed my time in West Fargo, and was lucky enough to meet my wife, Trisha, during that period. Four years later, a great opportunity to advance my career came up in Bloomington, Minnesota, and we made the difficult decision to relocate.”
18 / THE GOOD LIFE / urbantoadmedia.com
“I have learned just as much, or more, from the ineffective supervisors I’ve known. When there is lack of effective leadership, it trickles down to every division and employee. Knowing that someday I would be in a leadership position, it helped develop me into the leader I am today. I certainly didn’t want to replicate those missteps in my career.”
The Twin Cities metropolitan area was a different environment than West Fargo, with over 120 police officers on staff. In a much larger force, the Chief honed his craft, learning from his fellow officers as well as his supervisors. Police work is no different than any other career in that one can have excellent supervisors that allow the employee to learn and grow. There can also be ineffective supervisors.
WEST POLICEFARGOCHIEF DENIS OTTERNESS
Transparency in policing is important to Chief Otterness and meeting community expectations to provide a safe community is what he aspires to accomplish with the department every day. urbantoadmedia.com
/ THE GOOD LIFE / 19
“I know I caused Trisha many sleepless nights, worrying about me and my safety. She didn’t always know where I was or what I was doing.” After over 20 years in Bloomington, ascending to the rank of Deputy Chief, the West called the Otterness family. “The Chief of the Montana State University Billings Police Department opened up, and we made the decision to move West. As a family, we love to ski and be outdoors, and Billings was the perfect place for Afterthat.”two years, the Otterness family had settled in when a dream job came knocking. “The West Fargo Police Chief position opened up and we had to have some serious talks about moving again. I didn’t want to move my family, but the job was something I had dreamed about for a long time. Trisha and I looked forward to living closer to our families and our twins supported the move. We packed our bags and headed home.”
Undercover work comes with a unique set of job requirements, including classified travel and work.
The West Fargo Police Department was no longer the quaint, small-town he had left during the 1990s. The city has seen explosive growth in population, and the department has followed suit, growing to meet the needs of the community. It did not take Chief Otterness long to fall in love with the new job. “West Fargo is a wonderful and welcoming community. Police work has changed since I was a rookie officer, with the need for the police to not just be the enforcers of the law but a trusted part of the community. Without community support, policing is extremely difficult.”
20 / THE GOOD LIFE / urbantoadmedia.com
“I am fortunate to work with an amazing staff. Everyone is committed to excellence at the West Fargo Police Department. That excellence helps everyone in the department work together with the community to keep us safe. There are expectations for the officers and expectations for the community. Everyone working together makes our community a better place to call home. As a department, we want to be as transparent as possible with the public. Trust is built through mutual awareness, respect, and Employeeunderstanding.”retention and growth are very important to the Chief. “When I worked in West Fargo early on as a police officer, there weren’t many opportunities for professional growth due to the smaller size of the department. I did not want to work the same job for my entire career, and I know many officers today DENIS OTTERNESS
| DENIS OTTERNESS
PHOTOS SUBMITTED BY:
I HAD SOME TRULY
SHAPELEADERSEXCELLENTHELPMYCAREER,ANDISTRIVETODOTHESAMEFORMYOFFICERS.
/ THE GOOD LIFE / 21
feel the same way. To expose officers to the many facets of law enforcement, the West Fargo Police Department has developed processes to allow for more rotation throughout specialty positions. In addition, we have created one-year rotational positions to allow officers the opportunity to ‘try out’ different assignments before committing to long-term appointments. Employees find what they really enjoy and can develop their career without it stagnating. This is an important tool to retain our employees.” Working in law enforcement his entire career, it’s important for Chief Otterness to develop the next generation of leaders. “Leadership is something that not every person inherently possesses. Leadership needs to be honed through good mentorship and opportunity. I had some truly excellent leaders help shape my career, and I strive to do the same for my officers.” In his spare time away from the department, Chief Otterness loves to hit the links. “I love to golf, but urbantoadmedia.com
ON THE COVER | DENIS OTTERNESS 22 / THE GOOD LIFE / urbantoadmedia.com
In Chief Otterness’ office is a framed photo of Derek Jeter. He reflected on the quote “I want to be remembered as someone who had a lot of respect for the game, his teammates and opponents.” As a lifelong Yankees fan, he felt the quote applied to more than just baseball. “I am proud to work for and represent an organization that has a culture of treating everyone with dignity and respect.” • I WANT ALL OF THE STAFF AT THE POLICE DEPARTMENT TO LIVE THE GOOD LIFE, AND EVERY DAY I WORK TO THEMOPPORTUNITIESCREATEFORASWELLASTHECOMMUNITY.
urbantoadmedia.com / THE GOOD LIFE / 23
my game is terribly inconsistent. When I’m asked about my golf handicap, it’s easiest to say it’s my woods and irons!” When he’s not chasing around the golf ball with his wife, he enjoys time spent with family, most often in the outdoors. Upland bird hunting with his son, watching his daughter dance competitively, and skiing all make his life complete. “We had just bought new skis before we left Montana,” he said with a chuckle, although they still make time to use those skis every now and again. I asked Chief Otterness what the Good Life means to him. With a pause to reflect, he said “The Good Life means being at peace with my faith, family, and career. It’s difficult to have a good work life and poor home life, and vice versa, so enjoying and finding fulfillment in work is best matched with a family I love to go home to. I want all of the staff at the police department to live the good life, and every day I work to create opportunities for them as well as the community.”
WRITTEN BY: MEGHAN FEIR
AVOIDING THE AWKwARdNESS
24 / THE GOOD LIFE / urbantoadmedia.com
ETIQUETTEVToR
Behold, elevators: the most convenient and awkward of inventions. They take you to new heights, all while instilling varying levels of social anxiety for floor-hopping hitchhikers. Besides their intended purpose of transporting you to various floors in a building, elevators are associated with two things: awkwardness and “elevator music.”
All too often, public speaking, business meetings, and elevator rides trigger a response in my brain that turns my speaking abilities into that of a hermit who hasn’t seen another human being in 18 years. Take, for example, this instance from my not-so-long-ago apartmentliving days. This situation was, 100 percent, my fault. A nice guy and his 10-ish-year-old son kindly offered to hold the elevator for me as I purposely lingered at my mailbox. I politely said at least three times that they could go ahead. But they insisted. They even kindly offered to help me carry my numerous Amazon packages. Chivalry is not dead, and they proved that.
Elevator “muzak,” as the genre is called, was undoubtedly invented to make the ride up more relaxed and to avoid awkward silence, but even posh, cocktail-hour vibes couldn’t solve this problem. This is because the issue is human in nature, and it starts with you and me. How can you make elevator rides less uncomfortable for your fellow platform pilgrims and you? Read on for some helpful tips and heed my warnings.
eLEV
As I carried several packages in my arms, balancing one on top of another, I used the side of my foot to scrape the heaviest, largest box across the floor. Eons later, I reached the elevator, snagged one package on the ground and dropped another. By this point, I was already so embarrassed that my brain decided to just give up. When they asked which floor I needed to reach, I said, “I’m four floor,” thus transforming into a modern-day cavewoman. Help.
But I proceeded to respond with the Midwestern refusal of my forefathers and foremothers by saying, “Ohhh, no, don’t worry. I’ll be fine!” It is, after all, the most polite way of saying “No, I’ve got this. My pride and people-pleasing ways can’t handle being a burden by inconveniencing anyone and asking for help.”
A TALE OF CAUTION
1. SAY A PROPER HELLO AND GOODBYE Look the person in the eye for a second (don’t linger the stare for too long), say a simple, nice hello with a normal smile on your face. By acknowledging their existence, you’ll seem and feel more like a pleasant person, make them feel better about humanity, and make the atmosphere less stuffy. As you depart, say a kind, “Have a nice day!” or its equivalent.
5. BE POLITE, LIKE YOUR MAMA TAUGHT YOU MANNERS Hold the door for people who are clearly trying to make your installment of the ride. Say “please,” “thank you,” and some kind of “you’re welcome” with a smile on your face and go on pleasantly and peacefully with your life.
2. DON’T HIT ON PEOPLE
I don’t care how attractive the person next to you in the elevator is. Don’t hit on them. Just think of it: You’re alone with each other in a small, enclosed space with no immediate escape. Does it sound like a safe scenario for them to be trapped with someone who’s clearly hubba-hubba-ing them in their mind? The answer is no.
4. DON’T MAKE WEIRD NOISES
6. DON’T TELL YOUR LIFE STORY
If someone offers to help, accept it graciously sometimes. You’re not ruining their day. If you see someone struggling with packages, offer a helping hand.
•
3. ACCEPT/OFFER HELP
There are many mysteries of the universe I’ll never understand, such as why people talk to themselves in public restroom stalls and why strange noises have to be made unnecessarily in elevators or elsewhere. Leave the muttering and odd noises at home.
Don’t feel pressured to tell your life story or recount all your current problems to your elevator acquaintance in 30, 45, or even 60 seconds. Keep it casual and pleasant. In the event you get trapped in an elevator together for more than 5 hours, that’s when an existential crisis is allowed and stories can start leaking out.
ELEVATOR ETIQUETTE 101 urbantoadmedia.com / THE GOOD LIFE / 25
To avoid being, well, me, here are my top five tips on how to make elevator experiences less awkward. When I remember to enlist the following tips, my life and the lives of those around me improve significantly.
Oktoberfest has been taking place for 189 years though it began 212 years ago, only being canceled 26 times due to famine, war, and Covid. However, it started a bit differently than it is celebrated today. In 1810 King Louis I and his bride, Therese von Sachsen-Hildburghausen, were married on the twelfth of October and was created to celebrate their unity. On the fifth day, the event was concluded with a horse race in Theresienwiese, an open field that translates to "Therese's green." The following year the races coincided with an agricultural fair. Still, it wasn't until 1818 that private booths began serving food and beer. Although it is called Oktoberfest, the event was extended and began in late September and ends on the first of October. The change has been for the comfort of the patrons and those working the event because Germany gets cold quickly like North Dakota weather. Each year the open space, Theresienwiese, is closed for construction in mid-July to build 15 significant beer tents and 14 smaller tents, according to Building Radar. They have only ten weeks to accomplish all of this. BY: KRISSY NESS
26 / THE GOOD LIFE / urbantoadmedia.com
WRITTEN
Oktoberfest Drink Beer and Be Merry!
Second, all the beer served at the festival must be brewed in the city limits of Munich. There are 6 breweries that produce Oktoberfest beers under this criteria: Augustiner, HackerPschor, Löwenbräu, Paulaer, Spaten, and BecauseHofbräuhaus.of the success of Oktoberfest in Munich, it's been recreated all around the world, from Tokyo, Japan, to Santa Catarina, Brazil, to Cincinnati, Ohio, and more, according to TheTripsToDiscover.Secondlargest Oktoberfest is held in Santa Catarina, Brazil. This event spans over 17 days, and over 700,00 people attend. It includes events like – a beer drinking competition where you cannot spill a drop of beer, music, shows, and even a Queen of Oktoberfest contest. Tokyo, Japan, is host to the longest-running Oktoberfest in Asia. For ten days, the German culture sweeps over Hibiya Park and engulfs it with Polka music and as many wursts as you can imagine, like bratwurst, bockwurst, and knackwurst, to name a few. On top of trying some of the best German beer, you can also indulge in Japanese beer.
First, every beer must follow the Reinheitsgebot, often called the "German Beer Purity Law." This means the beer must have at least 6% alcohol by volume and be pure. When I say it has to be pure, it can only have the following ingredients: water, barley, hops, yeast, wheat malt, or sugar cane.
urbantoadmedia.com / THE GOOD LIFE / 27
Additionally, 600 vendors have to set up their booths, and everything is made of wood. The largest tent can hold 8,000 people. In total, six million people attend Oktoberfest from around the Alongworld.with the beautiful hand-made structures, unique decorations, and the sea of lederhosen, a carnival is set up with many rides and shows.
The traditional ride, Toboggan, is a tower slide representing Oktoberfest since 1906. One of the most intriguing and long-lasting traditions of Oktoberfest in Munich is the rules –which there are only two of – and they both pertain to the beer.
28 / THE GOOD LIFE / urbantoadmedia.com
America's sinceeventCincinnati,Zinzinnati,as–OktoberfestlargestalsoknownOktoberfestisinOhio.Thishasbeencelebrated1974andboastshalf
a million people. It begins with the Running of the Wieners, where 100 dachshunds dressed as hot dogs race to the finish line. Naturally, an obscene amount of sauerkraut, bratwursts, and pretzels were consumed at this event. One of the many reasons Fargo, N.D. is such a great community is our diversity. Of the 130,000 people, 41% in the area have German ancestry, according to the World Population Review. So it is no wonder we have a bar for just this occasion. Würst Bier Hall has two locations, one in downtown Fargo and the other in West Fargo. All year long, you can belly up to a table or bar and get cozy with your neighbor while snacking on bratwursts or pretzels and play a round of das boot with any number of authentic and non-German beers. However, attending Würst Bier Hall during Oktoberfest is a whole new experience. The Polka music is pumping from the speakers, the tap lines are filled with some of the best beer Germany has to offer, and the staff always gets into the fun by wearing traditional lederhosen. I have attended their Oktoberfest celebration a few times, and it is
a great way to spend time with fellow community members and enjoy the German culture. Whether you travel halfway across the country or mosey down to your local German restaurant, you owe it to yourself to check out what Oktoberfest offers. The good life to me means filling your belly with authentic German food and beer while celebrating your community with your community. Prost!
• urbantoadmedia.com / THE GOOD LIFE / 29
LOCAL HERO | JOHN HAILE Navy Vet's Greatest Threat Wasn't the High Seas Winning the war within 30 / THE GOOD LIFE / urbantoadmedia.com
WRITTEN BY: ALEXANDRA JAMPSA PHOTOS BY: URBAN TOAD MEDIA
/ THE GOOD LIFE / 31
Reality would prove otherwise but that wouldn’t stop John from seeking safety in comradery.
urbantoadmedia.com It’s 1973. Nixon’s Watergate scandal unfolded. Stove Top Stuffing hit the shelves. Inflation tripled. Hamburger Helper became all the rage. A gallon of gas sold for a whoppin’ 39 cents. And the U.S. saw the worst recession since the 1930s. Amongst it all, men and women signed up to serve at the tail-end of the Vietnam war – a time described as “peaceful” by recruiters. A decision meant to escape family dysfunction and pay for college would be inadvertently traded for the title of “addict” for one 17-year-old boy. And there would be no do-overs.
A New Start in the Navy
John’s low rank paired with highly classified missions meant he was kept in the dark. “There would be nights when there’d be an island off in the distance and, the next day, it wouldn't be there … because they'd just bomb it.”
Suiting up for basic training in November of ‘73, John was immediately stationed on the U.S.S. Cleveland LPD 7 amphibious fleet. Carrying 1,490 officers, troops, enlisted sailors and Marines, and flag staff, the ship barged through treacherous waters for a 6-month deployment in early 1974.
PHOTO SUBMITTED BY: JOHN HAILE
“I became a really bad man," says the now 67-year-old. Surviving Dysfunction One of five kids, John grew up in Omaha, Neb. He never fit in at school, and because of the unpredictableness of home life, he never brought friends home. "If my dad didn't approve, they weren't allowed,” John says. “And he never liked any of the people I associated Schoolwith." was simply an extension of his home life. Miserable. “My dad was hard on us. He was …” John pauses, wincing. “He was abusive verbally, physically, mentally, emotionally.” As for his mom, she lived a controlled life. John’s dad directed what she could or couldn’t wear, what she could do and where she could go.
John became “the quiet child” to stay out of trouble. "I watched my older brother not be careful and saw what happened,” he says. "There was a lot of dysfunction in our family. Things that happened in our home, stayed in our Fromhome.”age 7 to 16, he slung newspapers, saving up for his first motorcycle – and a taste of freedom. Later on, he traded his paper route for working at the local grocery store as another way to avoid home.
Finally, at 17 when he couldn’t “put up with the crap anymore”, John enlisted with the U.S. Navy. While still in the Vietnam era, recruiters boasted about “peace time,” and that he’d “never go near Vietnam.”
A Downhill Spiral Hanging up his white hat in November 1976, John worked while getting his associate's degree in Welding Fabrication & Technology. Paid for by Veterans Affairs, his degree finally delivered the dream that made him join the Navy in the first Justplace.six months after his divorce, John married for the second time. The two appeared to be a great match in the beginning … but it didn’t take long for things to escalate.
John transformed from “the quiet child” into a young man who finally fit in. Lacking immunity from the peer pressure leading to drugs, alcohol and fresh ink – he got his first tattoo overseas, depicting the butterflies from the stationary his mom used to write him.
The drugs began a self destructive – if, at the time, promising – few years for John. He was married, divorced, bulked up, got mean and was deployed for a second mission in 1975.
“I became this guy where if you had it, I wanted it, I took it," he says. “I found out how to not let people mess with me, degrade me anymore.
John’s crew made things happen. “We'd go into port in Bangkok, I’d pick up anything we needed drug-wise and bring it back,” John says. His buddy would summon him, lower the crane, hoist the drugs onto the ship and hide them.
Because I became a really bad man."
LOCAL HERO | JOHN HAILE
Pot, hash, uppers, downers, acid, mescaline, mushrooms, hallucinogens – nothing was off the table, at least for the first try. She was drinking, John was using. She was working nights in a bar, he was pulling late nights for work.
“I started pulling money out of accounts I shouldn't have been," he says. "There were things I never "I became a really bad man."
"They'd have the drug dogs, sniffing and looking for stuff. We even put pepper down to mess with their noses,” John says. “By the time I had gotten out of the service, I’d pretty much tried everything. And if I liked it, I tried it twice."
32 / THE GOOD LIFE / urbantoadmedia.com
John continued attending meetings with Kathy but was also working for the railway – an industry known for drinking and using drugs.
/ THE GOOD LIFE / 33
It all came down to one physical night in 1985, despite what John had sworn to himself – that he’d never become the person he grew up with at home. His marriage ended, tied with the ribbon of restraining "Atorders.that point in my life, I'm hitting a really hard bottom,” he says. “My mom and dad had disowned me. My brothers and sisters said, 'We want nothing to do with you. Stay away from us.' And I did."
"I never should have had her, except by the grace of God," John says. “I stayed sober for a while because I needed to for her."
A Defining Moment
"I'm runnin' with people in recovery and understood what they were saying, but apparently I wasn't ready yet," John says. "Somebody offered me a drug, I took it and it was ‘game on’ again for another two years or so."
All the while, he miraculously hid it from his wife, son and newborn daughter. "I was livin' in a world of denial – taking money out of accounts and lying
PHOTOS SUBMITTED BY: JOHN HAILE
urbantoadmedia.com thought I’d do in my life that were happening, because I was in the wrong crowd of people. I just kept getting meaner and meaner."
Despite the look of fear in her eyes, Kathy finally took John’s hand and was swept away for the last dance. Just days later, when John called to ask her on a date, she agreed. Kathy saw the nice, respectful man in John. Six months later, they tied the knot in 1986.
"Kathy had a heart of gold. She was living on her own, has a great job – all this stuff in her life is going in the right direction,” John says. “At this point, she’d been sober for five years.”
An Unexpected Chain of Events Living the aftermath of his second divorce in a “rathole house” at 29 years old, John was relieved to finally feel needed. His cousin had gotten into trouble and called John for a place to escape. Feeling desperately alone, John welcomed his cousin and his girlfriend with open “Thenarms.
low and behold, by the grace of God, a chain of events happened in my life ..." John says. John’s cousin and girlfriend introduced him to a friend and one night, the woman asked John to a dance. He reluctantly agreed. "At this point, I'm a full-blown drunk and addict. She takes me into this place, and I have no idea what it is,” he says. “She introduces me to her sponsor and all her friends. All of a sudden, I'm at a recovery function." What John knew was that he wasn’t going to leave that night until his friend’s sponsor, Kathy, agreed to dance with him. What he didn’t know was that Kathy would eventually become his wife.
But not without an eye-opening diagnosis. "I got really sick in 2011, and I was dying. Nobody knew what it was," John explained. Nine months later, the National Lung Institute in Denver diagnosed him with interstitial lung disease, causing progressive lung tissue scarring, and prescribed the high-powered meds to Johncombat. laterdiscovered his full benefits through Veterans Affairs, including prescription coverage, hearing aids and lifetime disability checks to cover hearing loss incurred while deployed.
"Seven years later here, and my life is great,” John says, now retired. He continues attending meetings and "THE ‘Bad boy’ has gone away completely now. He's not there anymore."
Sobriety & Sponsorships
It took time, but slowly John rebuilt trust with his wife and officially got sober on December 21, 1990, at 35. He started to discover a life richer than he’d ever known.
John and Kathy moved from Omaha to Fargo in 2015 to be closer to grandchildren. But leaving his trusted recovery community in Omaha meant John needed to find the same in Fargo.
One day, John’s counselor made him face his wife. "Kathy started talking, looking me right in the eye and she's crying,” John recalls. “In that moment, I realized the one person who trusted me with her life and two children ... I had lost everything in that defining moment. That's when it really started making sense of what I needed to do."
34 / THE GOOD LIFE / urbantoadmedia.com
LOCAL HERO | JOHN HAILE to her,” John says. "But she was starting to catch on, and I knew it.” John had already destroyed two marriages and was starting to recognize the common denominator. When he finally fessed up, Kathy told him to “do something about this, or I’m leaving with the kids.” That’s when John started outpatient treatment.
urbantoadmedia.com / THE GOOD LIFE / 35
John also repaired relationships deemed irreparable. John’s mother was battling cancer when his dad died in 1998. His mom followed six months later. On her deathbed, the woman who had disowned him said, “I am so glad you came back to us,” John recalls. "I still look the devil in the eye. But the ‘bad boy’ has gone away completely now. He's not there anymore."
Thirty-six years married and 31 years sober, John says the good life is "peace and serenity. I have the good life, but the greatest thing I can tell you is I get to sit here a free man.” That doesn’t mean he’s free of daily challenges, anxiety or other great surprises life thrusts his way. It means he deals with those issues differently today – instead of turning to the bottle. He attends meetings where people understand him. “I've seen people hang themselves, shoot themselves – I've seen it all. And I've had to bury them, because they didn't get their act together,” John says. "You better find something greater than yourself, because otherwise you don't stand a chance.” •
Withoutexplain."
The Good (Sober) Life
sponsors six others in recovery. “When they're talking, it makes me think about things in my life. They’re helping me more than I'll ever be able to recovery, John often wonders where he’d be. Kathy pulled him out of the depths of hell. In fact, he still asks her, “Why me?” She responds, “Because I knew there was something in you. You just needed to find it.”
