[New] Feeling Lonely After the Holiday Season? Relationships

Loneliness can happen at all times of the year, many people report that their feelings of loneliness can be triggered during or after the holiday season.

Holidays create a sense of longing for strong connections. Images of family and friends flood our visual world through movies, social media, advertisements, and posters at the mall and grocery stores. After the holiday season, people may have assumed that other people have more exciting lives and may get caught up in the unrealistic notion that everyone is always happy. You need to stop and remember that most people don’t post their devastating stories on Facebook, Instagram, For Real, Tik Tok, but only the ones that bring joy.

Remember you aren’t alone in feeling lonely if you are experiencing this emotion. Millions of people around the world are affected by loneliness. It can be normal to feel inadequate, lonely, left out, and miserable, especially during or after the holiday season.

Since the start of Covid, many people have reported they feel lonely. Many people were isolated for months/years with little or no human contact. Some people have forgotten how to be social or are experiencing social anxiety. Loneliness doesn’t just target specific groups but across generations, social-economical status, cultures, or sexual orientation. It can occur throughout different transitions in your life such as break up, divorce, children moving away, or death of a loved one can cause people to feel lonely.

Loneliness doesn’t have to last forever. Learning how to cope with your loneliness is an important step in helping your feel more connected. Talking to family, and friends or seeking the help of a therapist can be extremely helpful when you have recognized what you are feeling. Find ways in which you can be around people. Visit a park, library, museum, coffee shop, or a local boutique, and find ways to create small talk reducing the feelings of feeling isolated. Look for ways to volunteer, giving back can make you feel good about yourself but it can also build connections and bring a sense of belonging. Look for a group, Meet up Kalamazoo has many groups. Find classes such as art, photography, and dance, or maybe join a local gym that could create social stimulation.

The feelings of loneliness oftentimes are temporary and won’t last forever. When you are feeling alone, make sure to practice self-care, get adequate sleep, create a healthy diet, exercise, or add meditations to assist in raising your mood. Finding ways to connect and engage with others is your best defense in decreasing feel- ings of loneliness. if it is too difficult for you to work through these feelings of loneliness on your own, some therapists are happy to help you along your journey.

“We do not believe in ourselves until someone reveals that deep inside us something is valuable, worth listening to, worthy of our trust, sacred to our touch. Once we believe in ourselves we can risk curiosity, wonder, spontaneous delight or any experience that reveals the human spirit.” ― E.E. Cummings

For children to develop a powerful sense of self-worth, they desperately need to feel valued, not for what they have done but for who they are. The sense of being valued comes from day-to-day interactions with the important people in their lives. When loved ones, especially ones that are in a caregiving role, respond to them in ways that communicate value and love, children take in the belief that they are worthy and lovable. Finding moments of delight when engaging with a child often comes naturally, but sometimes life, stressors, a never ending to do list obstructs our ability to express this delight directly to the child in your life.

Ever have a job or relationship where no one notices or expressed feedback about who you are or how much you matter? It doesn’t feel great even as an adult when we have a more established identity to help tolerate it. What about a time when your boss/friend/partner only noticed or gave you positive attention for what you did… took out the trash, tackled a hard project, managed a crisis? Positive feedback can feel good but if that is all we hear, we start to believe that our value lies in what we do or what we provide others, and it can feel very disconnected from who we are outside of achievements. Being seen and valued for who we are is a basic need for anyone but for a child it is a critical need for their emotional, psychological, and identity development.

It is an amazing experience when a child looks up to see a caring other delighting in who they are without expectation or requirement. You can see the pleasure on their face, and they beam with joy. It is in these moments a child learns they matter, they are lovable, and that relationships are safe to be authentically true to who they are. In these moments, the duo is sharing in meaningful connection. These moments fill an emotional piggy bank so when hard times hit, there is an emotional reserve of self-esteem, relational safety, and emotional wellbeing to pull from. But what about those hard times, when a child is at their worst? They especially need to feel cherished then too, not in their distress, but that they matter and have value even when things feel out of control or messy or shameful.

If you or your child are struggling with finding ways to feeling connected outside of tasks and achievement or if you are noticing patterns of perfectionism or difficulty tolerating getting things wrong, please reach out to a mental health provider for support.

Christina Thomason, LMSW

Acacia: A Place for Personal & Family Development

The wedding trends for 2023 are exciting and well worth considering for your upcoming nuptials. Here is what wedding planners are saying: Weddings and parties are back in full swing and guests are filling venues and dance floors. People are traveling to far-off destinations to celebrate. With the Euro and the US dollar currently almost equivalent in value, European destinations will also be on the rise.

For outdoor weddings, marqueestyle structures that have a more permanent feel to them as opposed to the simple gable tents or sailcloth tents will be on trend. Glass tents provide a versatile setting that incorporates the ambiance of the surrounding landscape, allowing guests to appreciate the environment.

Signage, seating charts, etc., can serve the need for direction or labeling while blending into the décor. Signage can double as a beautiful event backdrop.

Colorful wedding details will be huge in 2023. You’re sure to see plenty of terracotta, copper, rust and burnt orange tones that will pop up on everything from the wedding party’s attire to floral arrangements. On the flip side, the vivid Magenta color is also on trend this year.

The color doesn’t stop there, during 2023 Bridal Fashion week, bridal dresses where shown in pastel colors and vibrant floral prints. Billowing sleeves, detachable skirts, capes and sheer fabrics will flow down the isle this year. Gloves will also be a popular accessory, whether fingerless, opera style or wrist length.

In 2023, bridesmaids will be given a lot more freedom when it comes to choosing their dresses. Bridal parties with mismatched colors, patterns, styles, etc. will be more popular. This trend creates a more chic aesthetic and allows bridesmaids to show off their personalities.

Sprawling grazing tables and elegantly arranged charcuterie boards give guests something to snack on during cocktail hour, which doubles as a gorgeous display. It’s an interactive experience for guests while they wait for the reception to officially begin.

Live houseplant Décor is adorning wedding venues giving the greenhouse oasis effect that live plants cultivate. Potted plant décor, hanging greenery, English ivy climbing up canopies and large houseplants hanging out by the dance floor all add to this live vibe.

In regards to the invitation suite, Kristina Scobie, with Noteworthy Invitations by Design in Richland, shared the following creative trends for 2023. Personalization: small elements that make a wedding suite truly unique to each couple. Hand painted crests, favorite places added to a beautiful map of the area, or even a meaningful image on the envelope liner. On the flip side, we also love the minimalist movement! Blind embossing, beautiful clean typography, and thoughtful adornment are classic and timeless. Die cut shapes: from simple arched or circular cards to location accents like a mountain range or Michigan shaped RSVP. Paired with the minimalist trend, a die cut is a lovely way to add a more unique touch.

The latest era of wedding photography is all about candids and natural light. Typically described as editorial or documentary photography, this style nixes poses and focuses on imperfections. Couples are no longer concerned about everything looking perfect and are focusing more on having their photographers capture the day with minimal direction or interruptions. In addition, blurmotion photography, which captures movement, is about to become very popular.

Consider incorporating some of these exciting new trends for 2023 into your wedding or special event and enjoy a one-of-a-kind experience that will have a lasting impression.

Info. Gathered from theknot.com, vogue.com, weddingforward.com & brides.com.

How do you find the perfect wedding attire? Where to start? Have you considered going vintage? The beauty of planning a wedding today is that you can wear just about anything to create that one of a kind experience. There is no such thing as having to stick with traditions or specific attire. You have the joy and luxury of making it your own, true to who you are and the person you’re choosing to share your life with. So, where do you start with all this freedom of choice? The quick answer is, “Anywhere you want!” But one way to narrow it down is to take a look back in history, is there a certain decade you are drawn to, an era that flatters and speaks to you? Let’s take a look back in time at some unique and beautiful vintage options…

We’ll begin with the Flapper style dress, a huge influence of the 1920s. Waist lines were often dropped low and hem lines could daringly be above the ankles. These shorter dresses were paired with a Juliet cap veil styled after the cloche hat. They were often elegantly simple, made of silk and lace.

The ‘30’s style wedding dress was more traditional and often followed Hollywood and celebrity trends. Beautiful satin dresses with long, extravagant trains became popular in the 1930’s, partially due to the rise in media and the society weddings publicized across the world.

During the 1940’s, fashion was very much effected by WW11 and rationing. The ‘Make Do & Mend’ government campaign motivated women to be creative and reduce, reuse and recycle. Women often made their own dresses out of easy to find fabric or reused entire dresses. This often brought about a more practical and tailored look, such as a proper skirt and blazer paired with a hat and accessories. Many men were married in their uniforms and the women’s attire often modeled that trend.

By the late ‘40s Christian Dior created the hour glass look with cinched waist that was all the rage. This look was paired with long, full skirts and lace that accentuated the small waist and made the wedding dress a formal event. This traditional and romantic fashion trend continued throughout the 1950’s and even into the early ’60’s with the help of famous women such as Queen Elizabeth and Grace Kelly.

The mini dress was the hot look in the mid1960s and had a strong influence on wedding fashion. This decade mixed it up when it came to wedding style! Anything from the mini to ‘Babydoll’ dresses worn by Twiggy influenced the style. Long dresses were worn, but were often more simple and decorated with flowers instead of lace. This led into the 1970’s style wedding gowns that focused on the Hippy trend with long, simple flowing wedding gowns often accessorized with beads and flowers. This style is definitely making a comeback today, using 1970’s festival style dresses as wedding gowns.

In 1981 Princess Diana’s wedding dress designed by BLAH became the most famous and influential wedding gown in history! Brides wanted the extravagant over the top dresses with big sleeves, long trains and skirts, and huge flowered bouquets. Today, the 1980s and ‘90s offers some amazing contemporary options of two and three piece suits and pantsuits. Yves Saint Laurent tuxedos are both formal and flattering and offer a unique flare to the traditional wedding wear. There are also formal ‘80s pantsuits that offer a one of a kind high style wedding look.

These are just a few fashion trends spanning the last 100 years! Whatever fashion era and style you choose, make sure to follow your heart and don’t be afraid to LOVE what is right for you. May you find that perfect wedding attire and best wishes for your special day and many more in the years to come!

Jayne Gulliver Owner of J-Bird Vintage

I’ve always enjoyed our backyard birds but recently discovered that I’d never really gotten close enough to see them in detail. I’d catch glimpses as they sped by or when they were perched in trees, and it was still hard to see much detail. That changed last summer.

My husband joined a Kickstarter campaign for a bird feeder with a camera. This is a device that operates when birds stand on a platform perch and eat from a food trough which triggers the camera to take a close-up photo. My techie husband got the device set up and running. When the first photos started coming in, we were blown away by how truly unique birds are. I felt like I’d missed something all my life! In most pictures we can see the detail of their feather quite clearly.

I found out a few things about birds that were surprises to me. Their feet are longer (for gripping branches) than I thought and are wrinkly and knobby. Their keratinous beaks look sharper and harder when seen closeup. And, they have individual personalities and mannerisms. Needless to say, we are captivated by birds in a new way now. Since we started regularly feeding them, we’ve noticed that the birds can see us moving around inside our house and will hop or fly along following us from room to room. Some are getting so used to us they are letting us get closer to them. With my myopic vision I had assumed most of the birds in our yard were sparrows, but I discovered there are a variety of different avian species in our mini woods that are similar in size to sparrows. We’ve counted eight different species, from starlings to chickadees and hopefully we’ll get more.

One of our favorite birds is the blue jay. I haven’t decided whether I think blue jays are narcissistic and like admiring themselves in the lens reflection, or whether they are extremely curious about the camera. Their close scrutiny of the lens makes it easy to capture their entertaining mannerisms. The bird that surprised us the most is the humble starling. Their dark winter coloring is speckled all over with bright white polka dots that look like thick white paint on the tips of their feathers. I’m looking forward to getting photos of starlings in summer too when their feathers have an iridescent colorful shimmer. All the different birds look beautiful to us, but we agree that the winner of the Avian Beauty Pageant in our yard is the starling.

There are several bird feeder cameras on the market, and they are reasonably priced for the amount of tech and enjoyment they deliver. Our bird feeder camera is called the Bird Buddy, which has an AI program that recognizes most birds.

In a month or two I’ll need to decide which native berry bush to plant in our mini woods that will provide more food and cover for birds and other critters. I’m glad we bought this device because it will add color to our blue and white Michigan winters. This time of the year is a good time to discover what birds really look like up close and personal.

Ann Murray is an award-winning commercial illustrator. She has illustrated eight children’s books for several authors. Her stories, one of which was a collaboration with her husband Rick, have been published in three anthologies and have won writing awards. Her latest story is in the 2022 climate fiction anthology “Extinction Notice: Tales of a Warming Earth” available at Kazoo Books.